Date: Fri, 2 Jan 2009 02:45:16 -0500
From: Me truly <tothinktrue@gmail.com>
Subject: Making me Happy

Hey! This is my attempt at writing some kind of love story. Just a warning
though, this is a story about sex/love between boys. If you can't or don't
want to read this for any reason, then don't. I won't be offended. Just to
let you know, this story may seem a little slow as I'm not sure how quickly
the sex aspect will develop. Also, this is fiction. I'd love feedback, so if
you have any, just send it to tothinktrue@gmail. Other than that just
remember that this is my story; if you want to use it, ask me first. Enjoy!

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-Chapter One: At First Glance

      I was pretty much alone most of the time. I had friends, but I had
lost any real connection I had to them. I don't know if I was letting them
slip away or if we just hadn't been that close to begin with. I know I
wasn't doing well. Everyone had started giving me weird looks or else just
avoided me entirely. I tried telling myself that this was what I wanted-that
I was pushing them away on purpose-but the truth was; I was really lonely. I
think I was just scared of trying. Or maybe it was rejection I feared.
Either way I was alone.
      I spent most of my time sitting in front of the computer screen,
trying to fill the void by playing hours of games and watching pointless
videos. I looked at a lot of porn. Whenever I masturbated it made me feel
okay for a little while. Took my mind off things. It was almost like the
physical opposite of cutting. I thought about that too. It never occured to
me that the simplest way to feel happy again would be to go out and make
some real friends. People I was really comfortable with. People I thought
would actually understand me. I was driving myself crazy.
      It was during one of my up times that a friend of mine called. I was
looking random shit up online-surprise, surprise. I was knee deep in a
website dedicated to the conspiracy theory that Belgium wasn't a real
country, laughing my ass off. (this is an actual site, by the way. It's
hysterical.) The cellphone on the desk next to me started to ring. It
sounded foreign because I hadn't expected to hear ever again. It was a girl
in my class, Claire. I answered only because I had blown her off a few times
and I felt bad.
      "Ryan, it's me," she said. "Tommy, Jackie and I are going to the
movies and you're coming." I started to argue, but she wouldn't hear it.
      "Screw you, dude. You've been so depressing lately and we haven't seen
you in weeks. If you don't come out with us tonight I'm never talking to you
again, okay? Get ready. We'll be there soon." She didn't leave me much
choice, huh? So I got up, took a shower, and got dressed. I stood in front
of the mirror for a long time, examining myself. I wasn't that tall, and I
was pretty skinny, I guess. I had dark hair and really intense eyes that I
often found myself getting sucked into. Maybe that sounds weird to save
about myself, but it's true.

     I was still staring at them when I heard Claire's horn urging me to
hurry. I was alone in the house, so I locked up and walked over to her car.
      "Good to see you, man!" Claire said with a huge smile. God, I loved
her. She had this beautiful glow about her that always seemed to smile, even
if she wasn't. Tommy greeted from the front seat as I got into the back.
      "Long time no see, Ryan. I thought you might be dead or something." I
kind of laughed and clicked the belt buckle. He started to chat as we pulled
away from my house.
      "Jackie's pretty pissed at me, so I don't know if she's gonna go now,"
he said with a sheepish grin. I didn't ask what he'd done. He treated his
girl alright most of the time, but sometimes he could be a real dick. Then
again, sometimes Jackie was a bitch.
      "I hope she makes it," I said quietly, "I've missed you guys."
      "Yeah, well you've been avoiding us all summer," said Claire, sounding
slightly annoyed. I glanced at her in the rear view mirror and saw in her
eyes that despite her tone, she was smiling.
      "I'm sorry," I mumbled, "I've just been feeling....weird, you know?"
      "It's cool, but no more of your depressing shit or I'm gonna be
seriously pissed. And to try and cheer you up, I'm getting your ticket." I
started to argue, but she just talked over me. "There's this really cool
movie about politics and stuff that I wanna see, okay?" Tommy groaned from
the front seat.
      "I thought we decided against that already! Why do we have to see some
shitty movie like that?" Silently, I agreed, but Claire gave him a severe
look and said, "If it's so stupid then you can get out and walk. I'm
driving, I get to choose."
      "That's a stupid rule. Who decided that?" Tommy argued.
      "Shut up!" she said back ,and the two of them fell into bickering,
leaving me alone in my thoughts.

     We pulled up to the theater and all climbed out. At the ticket booth I
tried to pay for myself, but Claire slid a bill in before I could.
     "I said it was my treat, you sneaky bastard. Now come on, let's enjoy
hanging out for once." She flashed me a dazzling smile and I couldn't help
but feel a little better. I don't know why I had avoided her; Claire really
is a great friend.
     Tommy wanted to get some soda and stuff so we stood in line for what
seemed like an eternity. As we waited, he caught me up on his latest
relationship news.
     "God, she drives me crazy! All she does is bitch about how we never do
anything together, and then when I go out, does she come with me? No! And
she wouldn't let me take her car. She says she's gonna go shopping, but I
bet she's at home right now writing about how stupid I am in her diary."
Tommy went on for a bit until Claire stopped him.
     "Tommy, you *are* stupid. It's your turn. Are you gonna buy something
or what?"

     We got our stuff and headed into the movie. The theater was already
dark, so we had to kind of search for a while until we found three empty
seats. I sat at the end of the row, with Tommy on my right and Claire in
between us. The two of them chatted and joked until the previews began. They
kept on shooting comments to me, but I was still pretty much in my head.
Eventually Claire elbowed me.
     "Look, dude. I didn't bring you out here cause I like the strong silent
type. Will you please talk to us?" I started to answer her, but some girl
behind us shushed as the movie began. I was safe for a while. Throughout the
movie Claire kept finding excuses to talk to me or get up and pass me. I
thought it was a little exessive, I mean how many times does that girl need
to pee? But I also thought maybe she missed me, so I felt bad. Eventually it
was over and we all got up to leave. The movie was actually pretty good,
even though Tommy complained about every section of it. He hadn't talked at
all once it started and he seemed to remember every scene, so I think he was
just complaining to complain.

     We went out to the parking lot and found Claire's car. On the way, we
passed Jackie's convertible. There were some shops on the strip with the
theater, so we figured she had gone out after all.
     "Let's go find her," Tommy said. I'm not sure why. If I were fighting
with someone I'd want to stay away. But then again, I'd stay away even if I
wasn't, so maybe I'm not a good judge. Anyway, Tommy was sure he knew which
store she'd be in, so off he went. With an amused grin, Claire took my hand
and led me after him. It felt good to hold hands, and every few minutes she
gave me a light squeeze. I didn't return it though. I'm not sure why.
     We were wandering down the women's aisles in some clothing store when
we spotted Jackie. Tommy was already walking up to her. Her long black hair
was pulled back into a ponty tail and she wore a tight black dress. She was
very good looking. When Tommy put his arms around her from behind, she
jumped a little. She looked kind of annoyed to see him, but she had parked
so close to us I knew she had done it on purpose. After telling him off for
a minute she reached up and kissed him. I felt a twinge of envy at the sign
of affection. It made me feel a little more alone. I buried the feeling and
followed Claire over to them.
     "Ryan! Hi! It's so good to see you! I've missed you since school let
out." She gave me a tight hug and the smell of her perfume made me want to
hold on forever, but I was very aware of Tommy standing right there. Aah
jealousy. I quickly released her and smiled.
     "Yeah. Sorry I kind of dropped off the planet there. I haven't been
myself lately."
     "Well, I wouldn't want you to be anyone else, so cheer up." She smiled
warmly at me. In a way she was more beautiful than Claire, but not as...I
don't know...touching? I thought about that for a few minutes while the
other three discussed the next step. We decided-well, they did, really-that
we would go somewhere to eat.

    We chose this nice little place that had booths that could offer a lot
of privacy and a decent selection of food. I sat next to Claire, and across
from Jackie, who shoved Tommy into the corner. My seat had a view of the
door and I found myself staring off into space, watching people come and go.
I barely paid attention to the conversation, instead imagining what I could
do to find someone who would really get me. The waitress startled me out of
my reverie and I glanced at the table to find everyone staring at me.
    "You ready, bud?" asked Tommy, grinning at Claire, who in turn was
slightly frowning at me.
    "Uh, yeah," I said quickly glancing at the menu. Claire's expression
freaked me out a little. I didn't like the thought of her being mad at me,
especially when she was trying so hard to get me to join in. I gave my order
to the waitress and grinned sheepishly.
    "Sorry, guys. I guess I'm in lala land."
    "Well, you always have been. You're forgiven this time." Claire smiled
again. God, I loved her smile.

    I tried to pay attention after that, but my mind kept wandering.
Eventually the waitress came and I greatfully accepted my plate, glad to
have an excuse to not talk. I shoved a forkful of....whatever I had ordered
into my mouth and looked to the entrance again. The door opened to admit to
guys about my age. I recognized them from my school. I think they were
seniors.
    I watched them as they took a seat at the bar that ran along the front
of the place. The one on the left was chatting animatedly to his friend.
He sat almost sideways and used flourishing hand gestures to convey his
speech. The other was much quieter. He had longish blonde hair and he wore
a striped grey shirt. He couldn't have been too tall; he was shorter than
other kid. It struck me as odd that I noticed that. When the blonde started
talking I found myself straining to hear what he said. I couldn't quite
make it out, but I could hear the pitch of his voice. Kind of high, but not
really girly.
    I jumped at the feeling of someone's hand on my knee. I looked over at
Claire and she gave me a small grin. Her hand started rubbing up and down,
each time coming a little closer to my crotch. Just as she was about to make
contact I jumped up and stuttered something about the bathroom. I walked
away as quickly as I could, feeling a strong blush coming on.
    The path to the bathroom took me by the two boys at the bar. As I passed
I looked over at the blonde, who turned to me. He saw me blushing and
grinned. I hurried past and headed to the bathroom.

    Safely hidden in a stall, I released the hard on which was making my
pants extremely uncomfortable. I stared down at it and willed it to go down.
    "Please, God," I muttered to myself, "Why did she do this to me?"
    "Amen, brother," a voice from the stall next to me announced, making me
jump yet again. I was very appreciative to the walls which hid my very red
face, but I thought whoever it was could probably feel the heat coming off
me. I said nothing and closed my eyes, thinking of nothing until both my
dick and my blush went down. I splashed some cool water on my face at the
sink and hurried out before the owner of the voice could see who had spoken.
    On my way back to the table I stole another glance at the blonde, but
this time he kept his back to me. Why did that make me feel so bad?

    Finished with the meal, we got ready to leave. Claire tried to pay for
my portion of the check, but I insisted on splitting it evenly. If the girl
was going to make moves on me, I definately wasn't letting her pay for me.
    Tommy left with Jackie, leaving me alone in the car with Claire. For
some reason I felt nervous and uncomfortable. The ride to my house was
quiet. Tense. When we pulled up to the front, Claire started to say
something, but I quickly said "Bye," and walked away. I lingered at my front
door for a second. When I glanced back, Claire was giving me this weird
look, so I waved and went inside.
    My parents were still out, so I went up to my room and sat at the
computer. I could barely think straight. It wasn't long before I flopped
down on my bed and stretched out. I pulled off my shirt and looked down at
my chest. My heart was hammering, blood rushing through my head. I unzipped
my pants and did what every boy does when a girl fondles him; I shot my load
and passed out...

Alright! so that's the first installment. As you read, there wasn't much sex
in this one, but it's going to build quickly from here. Once again any
comments, suggestions, requests, or hate mail should go to
tothinktruly@gmail. thanks guys, I hope you enjoyed. I'm gonna pass out now
:) Good night.