Date: Tue, 29 Mar 2005 22:48:22 -0500 (EST)
From: Sean R <seanr_13@yahoo.ca>
Subject: The Missing Piece of a Piano - 17

The Missing Piece of a Piano
By: Sean Roberts

Author's Note: Thanks for all the feedback.  Please e-mail seanr_13@yahoo.ca

Bar 17

Around him in his room there are still boxes.  For months
Daniel has lived in this room and has not yet unpacked.  Clothes
lie messily on the floor.  His desk is cluttered--papers and
books from school lying on top of his keyboard.  He has
connected his computer but has not yet used it.  He stares for a
moment at the screen, knowing that if he turns it on he will see
e-mails from the friends he has left behind.

He opens a drawer in a cupboard.  It is empty.  The door of
his closet, too, has remained closed.  He opens it.  Empty.

Daniel begins with his clothes, flattening the empty boxes
and keeping them outside his room.  The rest is more fun--
finding places for stuffed animals that for him have sentimental
value; plugging in his stereo system and looking through the CDs
he has brought with him; picking up a surprised Faye who has
just walked into his room and throwing her playfully onto his
bed.

She giggles as he climbs onto the bed, lying on top of her
as he kisses her.

"What are you doing here?" he whispers.

"I missed you," she says.  "I wanted to wake up with you
this morning.  So I came by.  I hope you're not busy."

"I'm finally unpacking," he says, waving his arm at the
mess behind him.  He kisses her once more, and she offers to
help.

"It'll be fun," she says.  "I can finally look at all your
stuff."

"Just grab a box."

She selects the one he forgot he had.  The one with Keith's
things.  Pieces of music he has given him; past gifts.
Souvenirs from amusement parks.  Daniel was drunk when he packed
these things, barely thinking about them as he threw them
haphazardly into a box.

Faye is fascinated by these items.  They came from a part
of Daniel's life she never experienced.  A baseball Daniel
caught at a game.  Keith was with him.  Sports.  Boys.  They
were both boys.  This suddenly crosses her mind.  She looks up
at him and watches him for a few moments as he organizes his CDs
on a shelf.

"Daniel if you met another guy, someone you like as much as
you liked Keith, what would you do?"

He stops what he is doing and looks at her.  He thinks for
a moment, trying to gather exactly what she is asking.

"I hate this word Faye.  But I am bi-sexual.  It makes it
sound so dirty.  But I am attracted to other guys.  But that
doesn't change how I feel about you.  I'm absolutely in love
with you.  You got me to love music again; I started playing the
violin again for you.  I've missed the sound it can make more
than you know.  Nobody except you could have done that for me."

This does not seem to reassure her.  He goes to sit beside
her.  "Faye I don't care whether or not you're a boy or girl.  I
never cared about what colour your hair is, or your skin.  None
of that matters to me.  These feelings I have for you go beyond
that.  The feelings I had for Keith go beyond that.  It never
mattered that he was a boy.  I love you."

He kisses her lightly on the cheek.  He says nothing else.
She suddenly straightens up, sitting absolutely erect, and
continues to sort through the box.  She looks like she is
concentrating hard on what she's doing.  She doesn't look
around, she barely blinks.  He knows how fragile she is at the
moment.  The wrong speech or the wrong touch could send her
away, can hurt her immeasurably.  He doesn't know what she needs
him to do but he does what he can.

He returns to the room very quickly with his violin.  She
doesn't notice that he has come back; she barely acknowledged
when he left.

Bach's celebrations of nature are some of Daniel's
favourite pieces of music.  He can hear them when he is outside,
amongst trees and flowers.  This is what he plays for Faye.  He
knows why she loves him.  Not because he can play but because of
how he plays.  The passion he has for music; the dedication to
this instrument of his; the expression of his soul through wood
and strings, creating absolutely beautiful sounds.

She doesn't look at him while he plays.  She continues to
go through the box, to discover the relationship Daniel used to
have with Keith.  There is no jealousy in this; no wish for him
to feel the same way about her he felt about Keith because she
knows that he does.  She finds that tears are beginning to fall
down her cheeks.  Music, though it affects her, has never
affected her in this way; has never made her cry.

"Daniel stop," she says.  He does so immediately.  He
places the instrument back in his case and goes back to the
floor to sit beside her.  "I hate crying," she says.  She rests
her head on his shoulders.  The weight of her head resting on
him is comforting.

"Then don't cry," he says.  "There's no need to cry.  I'm
here.  I love you."  This is the third time he has said this to
her today.  Finally he gets a response.

"I love you too Daniel.  I've never met anybody like you.
I love you so much."

She lifts her head so she can kiss him.  There is silence
in the room when their lips meet.  She feels a sense of security
from his touch.  Faye is glad she came to visit him today.  She
helps him to finish unpacking.  His room now is clean.  The
things that remind him of Keith; his clothes; his CDs and his
violin and Faye now all have a place.  They sit at the foot of
his bed, looking around at the before crowded room.  Suddenly he
loves the house.  Now that he has this space of his own, with
his own knick knacks and posters and lover.  They kiss once more
before they leave together.

*

Seth's playing has improved greatly.  Daniel tutors him
with the dedication Keith used to teach Daniel the piano.
Daniel is astonished that both the brother and the sister have
such a talent for music.  Today, Daniel has brought him
something.  He hands it to Seth.

"A song!" the boy says.  Daniel smiles.  He asks Seth to
sit with him.  He spreads his legs and Seth sits in between
them, Daniel's arms around the boy.  The violin is under Keith's
chin but they hold the bow together.  Seth is fine on his own
with the fingerings.  They start.

He allows Daniel to lead his hand to move the bow properly
across the strings.  It is not a hard piece but for someone who
is just beginning to learn an instrument, any piece is
difficult.  Seth has fallen in love with the sound of this
instrument of his.  Daniel suddenly stops.

"You made a mistake," Daniel says, taking Seth's left hand
into his.  Daniel caresses the boy's fingers.  "But you know
what?  That sounded incredible."  Seth gets up from the couch,
Daniel right behind him.  Daniel stares at the boy for a few
moments.  He has an erection.  This duplicate of Keith in front
of him is responsible for it.  Daniel feels guilty for thinking
this way but he cannot help it.  He doesn't know how to control
his lust for this boy.

"Practice," Daniel says.  "Until this piece is perfect.
We'll see how you're doing next week."



The Evans' piano is silent.  Whenever Daniel used to be
there, with Keith, the piano was never silent.  One of the boys
was always using it, filling the house with music and laughter.
Daniel guides another hand.  He arrived at the house to find
Ashley sitting at the piano, pressing keys.  She wasn't playing
anything in particular, she just wanted the sound.  She wanted
to hear something coming from this large box that has its own
room in her house.

"She loves me," Daniel says quietly.  A song is now being
played, by Daniel and Ashley together.  She kisses his cheek.

"And you love her," Ashley says.  "You know I don't miss
him when you're here?  I need to see you more often than I do.
And so do my parents."

"I know.  I need to see you more too.  I've pushed
everything that reminds me of him away and that's just made
everything worse.  I came to see you today because of the
concert.  It's a week away.  I need to know if I'm doing the
right thing, sharing Keith with the world like this.  I mean
it's his piece, he wrote it and he never heard it so how is it
fair that I get to play it and he doesn't?"

"It's not fair Daniel.  Nothing that's happened has been
fair.  But there's no better way to honour him.  I want you to
do it."

It is with these words in his heart that Daniel now
practices the piece.  For Keith's family; for Keith's memory.