Date: Sat, 12 Feb 2005 21:32:28 -0500 (EST)
From: Sean R <seanr_13@yahoo.ca>
Subject: The Missing Piece of a Piano - 8

The Missing Piece of a Piano
By: Sean Roberts

Author's Note: All feedback is appreciated.  Please send to seanr_13@yahoo.ca

Bar 8

He is now teaching his fourth lesson.  Seth's reaction when
Daniel tries to teach him another note is not unexpected.  "When
can I play a song?"  A question anybody learning an instrument
asks very early on.  This is, after all, the goal.  To play a
song.  Otherwise what good are the notes?

"Soon, Seth.  But you don't know enough notes."

"Will you play a song then?"

"I don't think so.  Now if you move your index finger over-
-"

"Come on Daniel!"  Seth holds out the instrument to his
instructor.  "I need a break.  Please play something, just so I
know how it sounds."

"You know what a violin sounds like."

"Please?"  He has the same effect on Daniel as his sister
had a few weeks ago.  Seth's bright eyes and revealing shorts
(Seth plays basketball every Thursday before his lesson) make
Daniel agree.  Seth stands eagerly and offers Daniel, who takes
his seat, the instrument.

Daniel is nervous.  He holds the familiar weight of the
violin.  Teaching and practicing are two very different arts.
In his mind he selects a fast Beethoven.  He feels that the fast
tempo will make the piece finish faster.  He swallows and brings
the instrument up to his chin.  He ensures his posture is
perfect, he can not set a bad example for his pupil (though
Daniel remembers playing, at one time, lying naked on his
stomach on his bed, his head and his violin hanging off the
edge, and Keith massaging his back to the rhythm of the music).
Without thinking Daniel brings the bow down for a dramatic and
rich first note.  Seth, who sits in another couch, straightens
up, amazed at the intensity of sound that can be obtained from
the instrument.

Daniel's eyes close.  He plays the piece flawlessly.  The
vibrations turn into Keith's hands, touching his naked back.
Every few moments Keith sneaks in a kiss, anywhere on Daniel's
skin.  And then, suddenly, the piece ends.

"Daniel!  Daniel!"  He opens his eyes and sees Seth
standing in front of him, leaning forwards, his arm on Daniel's
shoulder.  "Are you okay?"

"What?"  Daniel suddenly feels the tears on his cheeks.
Three figures stand in the door way: Mr. Evans, Mrs. Evans, and
Faye.  The parents are watching him, smiling.  Faye is staring
at the floor.

"I-I have to go," Daniel says quickly.  He pushes past the
figures in the door and runs out to his car.  The music was too
much.  He needs to get away from it but does not know where he
can go.

He finds himself in the library.  He goes straight into the
basement.  In his mind he tells himself he wants to avoid music
but he knows that the basement contains none.  It is simply ink
on paper.  It is silent.

Because he does not look for music he explores the room.
And then he sees a dark corner.  The shadow makes it look like
the two perpendicular walls are cut off; the corner is in
absolute darkness.  He steps into the triangle of black and he
sees nothing.  He looks upwards.  There is still pure darkness,
in a three dimensional triangle, all the way up to the ceiling.
He faces forward again and turns around.  He almost jumps.  Faye
is in front of him.

"Are you okay Daniel?" she asks.  "You were crying, and
then you ran out, and you were supposed to stay for dinner."

"I-I'm sorry.  I --" Daniel does not remember crying.

"Play very nicely for someone who doesn't play the violin.
I knew that your brother wasn't lying."

"You don't understand Faye--"

"Tell me something I don't know, like what it is that I
don't understand."  He steps out of the darkness.

"It's none of your business!" he says, louder than he
intended.

"Okay."

"What are you doing here anyway?  How did you find me?"

"I followed you.  I was worried."  Her hand touches his arm
and she leans forward.  She tries again to kiss him and he gives
her only his cheek.  It has become an automatic response.

"But this is my business Daniel.  Why won't you kiss me?
And don't give me bullshit that it's not about that.  Because
you're a guy so it has to be about that, at least part of it.
And it's not like I'm trying to get you to do me, it's just a
kiss."

"Faye you found me standing in a dark corner.  Do you think
I'm in the fucking mood to kiss you right now?"

"Fine Daniel.  I give up.  I really can't do this any more.
You get scary angry when your brother mentions that you can play
the violin, just now you ran out of my house crying.  If you
can't tell me what's going on--" Was I crying again?  Am I
crying right now?

"It's over right?"  She looks relieved that he said it.
Daniel suddenly wants to vomit.

"How much do you want for Seth's lessons?"

"What?"

"Seth's lessons.  You haven't let us pay you.  And my
parents want to pay you, and I want to pay you.  I never pushed
it because we were seeing each other and you would have been
insulted.  But now I have to pay you just because it's right.
So how much do you want?"

"Faye!"

"Whether you continue or not you've done four.  I think the
going rate is twenty an hour?  I'll give it to you in school
tomorrow.  That is if you decide to come and actually stay for
class.  If it's too little, you can tell me.  Good-bye Daniel."
She turns to leave.  He retreats into the corner and turns
around.  He knows he looks like a child who has misbehaved, but
the senseless feel of the corner calms him.  He collapses,
leaning his head against the wall.  Then he begins to wonder why
it is that he can not kiss his girlfriend.  Ex girlfriend.
Shit.



Seth sits on the chair.  Dry sweat has some of his hair
stuck to his forehead.  Daniel has not stopped teaching him.
Faye has made sure to stay away from them.

Seth's posture is wrong again.  Daniel goes over to him,
lifts his chin and spreads his legs.  But this time he does not
let go.  "Play something," he says to Seth.  The boy listens and
brings his bow across the instrument as Daniel moves his hand up
Seth's leg.

The note ends prematurely.  "Good," Daniel says quickly.
"Do it again."

"What are you doing Daniel?" Seth says.  Daniel's hand is
at Seth's thigh, just brushing against the boy's shorts, lightly
squeezing the mound of flesh created from the pressure of Seth's
leg on the chair.  Daniel removes his hand quickly.

"Nothing.  I-I'm sorry.  That was very good."

"Is this why you broke up with my sister?"

"Huh?"

"Y-you're--"

"What?"

"Gay."  Seth says the words softly, as if it is a swear
word he does not want his parents to hear him using.

"No Seth, I'm not."  Daniel's mind frantically searches for
a plausible lie for his behaviour but he cannot find one.

"Oh, good."  Daniel looks confused.  "'Cause I don't think
Faye would be too happy about that."  Seth laughs.  "Don't worry
about it then.  If you wanted to go jerk off, you should have
just said something."  Daniel does not understand what the boy
is saying.  Seth puts the instrument down.

"Seth what are you talking about?"

"You wanted to jerk off with me right?  Don't worry, I do
it with my buddies all the time, no big deal."

"Are you serious?"  Seth nods.  They go up to his bedroom.
He brings along the instrument and tells his mother, in the
kitchen, that they are going to practice upstairs.  Seth locks
his door.

"I just got the lock back.  My parents got really pissed
when they found out that I was--"  Seth's voice lowers again.
"Smoking pot."  Seth pulls off his jersey, revealing a flat,
bony body.  But Daniel can see his muscles forming; he sees the
room for growth that every fifteen year old boy has.  Daniel
does the same thing.  His clothes begin to come off and he sees
Seth dropping his shorts, revealing white briefs.  Seth is
naked.  He has sporadic sprouts of pubic hair but otherwise his
body is like pure milk.  Suddenly he is on his knees in front of
Daniel.  Seth begins to masturbate as he takes Daniel into his
mouth.

"I thought we were going to jerk off," Daniel says.  Seth
looks up but does not release Daniel.  Suddenly the door opens
and Faye walks in.

"Shouldn't you two be practicing?" she asks.  Daniel looks
at her, confused at her reaction.  "Well, since you're taking a
break, let me do that," she says to Seth.  Seth moves away from
Daniel and Faye takes his place.  She takes Daniel in her hands
and moves her mouth closer to his.  He can feel her lips
touching his even before they meet.  But suddenly she pushes him
away.  "I don't think so," she says.  "Not until you tell me
what's going on here."  She waves a hand towards her brother,
who is still naked, now sitting down on the bed.  Daniel opens
his mouth to speak but she interrupts him.  "You're gay aren't
you?  That's why you won't kiss me?"

"No Faye, I'm not!  I want to kiss you, it's just that I'm
not ready yet.  I-I'm trying to get over someone."

"But it's been two years Daniel!  It doesn't take that long
to get over someone!"

"Two years?  How do you know?  Who told you?  Was it Mark?"

"Oh no.  It wasn't Mark.  You told me.  When you played the
Chopin for me the other day, you told me the entire story.  Well
Daniel, if you love him so much, why don't you join him?"  Her
hand reaches behind her back and in it is a violin.  It has a
dark, fresh varnish.  Daniel can smell the wood.  He reaches for
it.

"Can I play it?" he asks.

"You told me you didn't know how to play the violin," she
replies.  She lifts it over her head, looking like she is going
to bring it down on his head.  "Now you can be with him
forever!"  She brings the violin down, but something grabs her
arms.  It is Mark, saving the violin for the second time.

"Don't," he says.  "Let me take this.  Don't wreck a
perfectly good violin for nothing."

"He isn't coming back," Faye says, allowing the instrument
to be taken away from her.  "This is the only way Daniel can see
him again."

"Daniel can see him again only by playing the violin," Mark
says.

"No," Daniel says.

"Yes!" Mark, Faye and Seth say together.  Mark pushes the
violin into Daniel's hands and Daniel takes it.  He touches it
and his hands feel like they are on fire.  The three people with
him in Seth's bedroom are laughing.  And then they are gone.
The Chopin is playing; the piece Keith called his favourite, the
piece he would play for nobody else.

Keith plays it sitting at his piano.  Daniel is sitting on
a couch, accompanying with the violin.  He holds the instrument,
moving the bow across it, creating notes with his other hand.
But suddenly, in the middle of the piece, the piano stops.
Daniel continues playing.

"What is it?" he asks Keith.

"I'm dying," Keith replies.

"What?"

"I'm dying.  I have to go."  Keith stands up and walks
towards the door.  Daniel follows him, pleading with him to come
back.  Keith turns right and heads toward the foyer.  Ashley and
Mr. Evans are there.  Mrs. Evans is in the kitchen preparing
lunch.  They are waving at Keith and Daniel is asking him to
please not go outside.  When Keith is wearing his shoes he opens
the front door, stepping outside and walking out to the middle
of the street.  Daniel knows he should go after his friend but
he stays inside the house.  It is a sunny day and he can see
Keith clearly.  Keith turns around, waving.  Then, out of
nowhere, a car speeds by and Keith is gone.

Daniel is sweating.  It is dark all of a sudden.  Too dark.
He can see absolutely nothing, not even in his mind.  He sits,
his head leaning against a wall, in a daze from the sleep.  His
neck is stiff and in his mouth he can taste the lingering
flavour of his cigarettes.  He is in the library; in the
basement with all the quiet music.  He realizes that he fell
asleep.  Daniel steps out of the darkness and looks at his
watch.  He has been there for about an hour.

He begins to leave when he realizes he has an erection.  He
can feel the sticky fluid in his shorts that came out from his
dream.  He waits for a few moments, until the erection dies
down, before leaving the library.