Date: Fri, 18 Feb 2005 23:43:10 -0500 (EST)
From: Sean R <seanr_13@yahoo.ca>
Subject: The Missing Piece of a Piano - 9

The Missing Piece of a Piano
By: Sean Roberts

Author's Note: Please send all feedback to seanr_13@yahoo.ca  Thanks.

Bar 9

She begins to play the Beethoven he refused at the
beginning of the year.  Though she is accompanied by all the
instruments of the orchestra, Daniel hears only her.  He can
even hear the tapping of the keys.

"Stop!  Stop!  Absolutely awful!" shouts Mr. Klein.  Daniel
is startled for the fourth time during the lesson.  The music
teacher has become everything but violent since the Christmas
break.  The rest of the class, however, does not react, as they
are probably used to it.  Faye is the fourth person Mr. Klein
asks to stand.  A clarinet player, a flute player and a
violinist are already standing beside one of their counterparts,
their assignment to observe the proper fingerings for the piece.

"Faye!  Stand up!" he yells.  She does as she is told
immediately.  "Daniel!  Take her spot!  Play the piece, the
whole thing!"

"B-but--" Daniel starts shyly.  "I don't know how."

"Neither does anybody else apparently!" he shouts, waving
his arms in the air.  Being a short man, this gesture does not
have the intended grandeur.  "Just do it!  Now!"

"I-I really think Faye was doing a great job," Daniel says.
Mr. Klein groans exasperatedly.

"Very well very well!  Faye, sit back down!  And do it
properly this time!"  She sits.  Mr. Klein produces a baton that
has apparently been sitting on his music stand the whole year.
He gives the metal stand three solid whacks and begins
conducting.  Daniel turns the page for her and then looks at her
face.  He does not want gratitude for such an insignificant
gesture but he wants some sort of acknowledgement that he is
there, that he is with her.  She has not spoken to him for the
entire class.  Mr. Klein suddenly stops the class again and
begins to yell at the drummer.

"That was really good," Daniel whispers.  She looks at him
finally, something he does not expect.  He has made little
comments like that ever since the class began and she has not
regarded a single one with any interest.

"If you want to talk to me," she says, "do it properly.
Meet me in the library after school.  Come to the second floor,
where I struggled with the essay on Macbeth."  He nods.  For the
remainder of the class, he does everything he can to keep
himself from smiling.  Mr. Klein tells the class to start again.
There is a certain vibrancy in her playing Daniel did not pick
up on before today.



She sits at the same table but in a different chair.
Daniel was expecting to see her in the chair she was sitting at
when she offered to show him the town.  He sits across from her
and reaches out to take one of her hands into his, wanting to
feel the comforting warmth of her fingers.

"Don't even think about it," she says coldly and quickly.
His arm recoils, like a snake that has just attacked and missed.
He buries it in his lap, covering it with the other.  The razor
in her voice makes him turn away from her, but he can feel her
stare bearing into him.  A magnifying glass assaulting an ant.
"This had better be good Daniel."

"What?" he snaps back, looking at her again but this time
with anger.

"Whatever you're going to tell me.  Like why I should even
be here with you."

"I didn't mean what I said yesterday."  He had planned to
say this holding her hand, looking into her eyes.  He wants her
to know that he means it.  "It was just a bad time."  No
apology.  It was her fault for following him.  He can no longer
feel her stare.

"Well if you hadn't said it I would have."

"Okay.  Fine."  He stands up.  He still does not face her.
"Fine if that's how you want it.  Faye."  The name rolls off his
tongue and brings an inadvertent smile to his face.  He takes
his seat again and turns to her.  He does not want to leave
anymore.  The confused look on her face about his sudden change
of expression goes unnoticed by Daniel.  "I want to play the
Chopin with you in the concert.  On the violin."

"The violin?  What are you going to play, it's just for
piano."

"I know!  But I have a violin part for it.  At home.
Really, come and see it."  Her curiosity and the pleading look
he gives make her agree.  They sit in his car and before they
leave the library's parking lot he gives her a heart-felt
apology.

*

The lights in the room with the television are attached to
a dimmer switch.  Daniel uses the room and the dial because he
wants to create an atmosphere.  He flops down on the couch
beside her and she giggles because of the smile on his face.
Then from behind his back he produces the music.  She stares at
the sheet.

"This is--well if this really works I'd love to play with
you.  But I won't really know until you play it.  I don't know
the violin; these notes mean nothing to me."

"They will.  The next time I'm over for Seth I'll borrow
his instrument.  We'll play it."  She nods and gives him back
the piece.  He is glad that she doesn't look at the cover; he
does not want her to ask about Keith.

"Where did you get this though?"

"I--it's something that needs a bit of an explanation," he
says.  And I'll tell you as soon as I come up with a plausible
story that doesn't insult the memory of my best friend and my
first love.  "This isn't the time for it."

"Fine.  But you have to at least tell me something.  Like
why won't you kiss me?"  She turns towards him and moves closer
so that their legs press harder against each other's.

"Because my mother's standing in the doorway," Daniel says,
pointing.  Faye turns and nearly jumps out of her seat.

"Hi Faye," says Mrs. Thompson awkwardly.  Faye clears her
throat and cannot help but smile, though she is embarrassed.
Suddenly Daniel bursts out laughing and Faye joins him.

"Sorry mom," Daniel says.  "Where were you anyway?  I
didn't know anybody was home."

"Our cars were here," she says impatiently.  "We were
upstairs actually.  I came down to get some tea and I heard
voices, so I came to ask if I could get you anything."  Daniel
slides away from Faye so they are no longer touching.

"I'm fine, thanks," Daniel replies.

"Me too," Faye says.  "Thanks."  They both start to laugh
again, the senseless laugh of teenagers.  Mrs. Thompson leaves
the room.

"Don't worry," Daniel whispers, leaning close to her ear.
"Don't be embarrassed."

"Answer the question," she says, suddenly serious.

"I've had some bad relationships," he says.  "A lot of--I
mean, I don't want this to go too fast.  I don't want to mess it
up."

"Have it your way then," she replies.  She lifts his hand
from his knee and brings his fingers to her lips.  She kisses
his index finger softly, just beneath the nail, as if it made a
mistake.  He swallows.  The feeling on his fingers makes him
want to tell her about Keith and about the cause of those bad
relationships; about why he doesn't kiss her.  "Would you mind
driving me back to my car?"  He nods and they leave.



There is no touching of his legs; no discussions about
masturbation.  And when the scheduled time for his lesson is
over Faye comes into the room.  "Leave your violin here," she
says, "Daniel needs to use it."

"You're going to play something else?" Seth asks
tentatively.  He is excited about hearing notes turned into
music, but he does not want to see Daniel cry again.

"Yes," Faye answers quickly.  She sits at the piano and
plays a quick scale.  Daniel smiles at Seth.

"Do you mind?"  Seth lifts the instrument out of the case
and hands it to him.

"Of course not."  Daniel sits in Seth's chair and positions
his body and the instrument so that the sound can come through.

Faye reminds Daniel about the music.  He has left it in the
car.  "I'll get it if you take me driving later!" Seth says.

"You're not allowed to drive," Faye says.  "So nobody's
going to take you driving.  He's been trying to get someone to
let him drive for years," she says to Daniel.  "He doesn't seem
to understand that you can't drive until you're sixteen.  Could
you explain it to him?"

"I'll take you driving later," Daniel says to the boy.
Seth says nothing, but eagerly takes Daniel's keys and leaves
the room.  "I need you to play slowly.  And I don't mean the
slowest way you can play that piece.  I mean slowly by any
standards."  She nods and plays the first few notes.  "Slower."
She tries again.  "Perfect."

The music is open in front of him.  Seth has settled
himself inside a couch on the other side of the room.  The sun
has gone down; the room is dark save for the lamps on the piano
and beside Daniel's couch.  The lack of light has given the room
a sense of cold and Seth sits with his legs tucked underneath
him.

"Ready?" Faye asks.

"Wait!  What are you playing?" Seth asks.

"Nothing," Faye says.  "Ready Daniel?"

"We're playing Chopin, Nocturne in E Minor," Daniel says.
Seth laughs.

"You mean that piece she practices all the time and still
can't get right?"

"That's the one," Daniel says playfully.

"Can we just start?" Faye says.  Daniel can hear the smile
in her voice.  He has the first note and he plays it, barely
paying attention to the music.  The dark, pencilled note on the
sheet brings back a memory.  The movements of his hands that
accompany it are automatic.  He plays an entire bar before she
stops him.

"When do I come in?"  Daniel doesn't answer right away.  He
is mesmerized that he has just been playing the violin the way
he used to-^Öthe notes registering quickly in his mind, the
vibrations of the strings providing sudden and absolute comfort.

He looks back at the sheet.  There is a marking after the
first bar.

"When you hear this," he says, playing a note.  She nods
and turns back to the piano.  Seth laughs.

"I think it sounds better without her."

"Trust me Seth, it doesn't."  Daniel winks.  Then he starts
again.

He has not moved the violin out of position; the leather of
the chin rest has warmed his skin and he wants to hold the
instrument forever.  It smells like a mixture of wood and Seth.
The boy's sweat has come to rest on the leather and on parts of
the wood at the back, behind the bridge.  Daniel closes his eyes
for the first bar which he has now memorized.

But she comes in suddenly, trying as hard as she can to
keep the tempo Daniel has told her to follow.  And the sound
becomes something new.  The violin notes which sounded awkward
but beautiful on their own now accompany the vibrations of the
piano strings perfectly.  The sounds coming from the
instruments--from the hearts of the players--harmonize and piece
together like the picture and sound of a movie.

Though his eyes are open he does not consciously read the
music.  The notes are in front of him but he has stopped
memorizing them the moment the piano started.  He is instead
staring at Keith, watching the boy sitting at the piano, playing
his favourite piece.  Keith stops in the middle but Daniel can
still hear the notes.

"I have an idea Daniel!  About how you can play this with
me!"  Daniel goes to sit beside his friend.

"Which hand do you want me to do?"  Keith smiles.

"No, on the violin."  The boys start writing it
immediately.  Keith is on the floor with his pencil; Daniel is
at the piano with his fingers.  And then Daniel is with his
violin and Keith is with the piano.  Then when Keith is at the
piano, Daniel has the pencil.

But they never played it through.  He didn't stay alive
long enough for that to happen.  But in front of Daniel Keith is
there, on the piano, the violin notes coming from his own hands.
And they play together and stop in the middle, but still the
music continues to emanate from both instruments.  They are
together, on the piano bench, and they kiss.  With his left hand
Keith plays a quick tune without looking at the keys.  The boys
smile and continue to taste each other, the feeling making their
hands want more than strings and keys and bows.  They want each
other.

They remove their clothes--shyly--at opposite ends of the
room, even though they have done this before.  But when they
come together again there is no more apprehension.  They know
what they want.  They are two erect boys in love with each
other.

The music finishes.

"No!" Daniel whispers to himself.  "We did that, for the
first time, after we played Bach together; we never played this
together.  We never got the chance."  The violin falls out of
his hands.  He does not notice the sound this makes.  He picks
up the music from the stand and stares at the pencilled notes,
knowing that Keith wrote it and that Keith never heard it
played.  I can't play it without him, it isn't fair.

"I can't do the concert Faye.  I'm sorry."

"What?  But Daniel this piece--"

"I'm sorry Faye," he says, this time more firmly.  "Seth
you want to go for that drive now?"

"Yeah!  Just let me go change!"  He runs out of the room.

"Would this be okay with your parents?"

"Oh, fine time to ask that," she says.  After a pause,
"It'll be fine.  Just don't go for too long.  My mom says you
have to stay for dinner today, though I'm not sure I want you
to.  Daniel how can you do this?  Get me all excited about--"

"Trust me Faye," he interrupts, "you don't want to know the
reason behind this."  Seth returns and they leave.  Daniel
drives to where Seth tells him is a secluded area.  He hands
over the keys and sits in the passenger's seat.  He watches
Seth's face as the boy manoeuvres the car.  Daniel realizes that
he probably looked like that just a few minutes ago when he
played the violin, before the haunting memories assaulted his
mind.



When they return Faye tells them that dinner is ready.

"Go tell mom and dad we'll be right there," she says to
Seth.

"Gladly.  I don't want to see you two kiss."  She gives him
a playful push as he walks past them in the narrow corridor.

"I've been thinking about what you said Daniel," she says
before he can say anything.  "And I don't want to mess up this
relationship either.  I'm sorry I got angry just now."

"You had every right.  I'll make this up to you."  He
embraces her.  He wants to do more than hold her but hugging her
is all he thinks of at the moment.  She puts her arms around him
as well and holds him more tightly than he has her.  They go to
the dining room, where Seth is in the middle of telling his
father how well he drove for the first time.