Date: Mon, 16 Feb 2004 23:40:06 -0800 (PST)
From: Mark Arbour <markarbour2000@yahoo.com>
Subject: On The Mark 10

PREFACE: I am writing this story primarily as a self-exploration tool.  I
invite you to come along for the ride, which is sometimes rocky, often
boring, and not always happy. Unfortunately, it's not always very erotic
either.  That being said, and if M/M and M/F sex doesn't upset you, read
on.  Since this is my story, please don't reproduce or publish it anywhere
without asking me first: markarbour2000@yahoo.com.


DEDICATION: This chapter, good, bad, or otherwise, is dedicated to all of
my online friends, and especially the guys in fraternity memoirs 2.
They've helped me come to know myself better than I thought possible, and
have encouraged me to continue my story.  I love you guys.  Join our group
at: fraternitymemoirs2-subscribe@yahoogroups.com


NOTE: Sorry it's taken me so long to write this chapter.  Writing this kind
of story requires time and motivation, and I've had neither for the prior
few months.  Thanks for all the encouraging e-mails!  They've inspired me
to press on.

CHAPTER 10

I hadn't seen Van since last Christmas, and then our visit had been pretty
short.  He came in right before Christmas, and I left for Chicago right
afterwards, and the time he had was pretty much absorbed by his family.  We
hung out on December 23, using the excuse that we were going Christmas
Shopping.  All we really did was get really stoned and drive around.  He
seemed to be doing really well in college.  He was getting laid a lot
(isn't that what Freshman year is all about?) and was thinking about
joining a fraternity.

For the first time that I can remember, we didn't really "click" that well.
He was really upbeat, all involved in his new college adventure, with lots
of friends and lots of pussy.  I was in the midst of depression, dreading
my last semester, and not very happy about whatever would come next.  In
the past, when we'd be quiet and just hang out it was by choice.  This
time, it was because we really didn't know what to say to each other.  I
left the day after Christmas, and by the time I got back from Chicago, he
had already left for school.

But now it was summer, and I was pulling myself out of my blue mood.  It
was sunny, the beach was still cold but beautiful, and Van was coming home.
I'll never forget the day he got back.  I was out front washing my car when
I saw his car roll down the street, pass me, and pull into his driveway.  I
ran over to see him and gave him the biggest hug.  It was so good to have
him back, and it was really good to feel like my old self again.  He was
like my own personal bottle of Prozac.

He got back in time for graduation, and that made it all that more special.
My grades over the past few years had pretty much sucked.  My parents were
really pissed off at me, because my choice of colleges was severely
limited.  I could either go to the local state university (no fucking way!)
or go to a community college and work on my GPA.  Community college seemed
to be for those students who fucked up in high school and needed a second
chance.  Since that was exactly what I had done, it seemed like the ideal
solution.  With my future planned, I could just work and relax over the
summer.

Van had really changed a lot.  In retrospect, I see it as the maturation
process that happens when you go away to school.  Then, I didn't really
understand it.  We were close, and we had a blast together, but that tight
connection, almost mind-meld, was not there.  It's hard to describe these
degrees of intimacy....I guess we went from sharing almost everything to
sharing mostly everything.  Sounds subtle, and it is, but I noticed it.

One of the most pronounced areas of change revolved around sex.  It was
kind of funny, but I instinctively knew that our days of fooling around
were over.  Van studiously avoided spending the night with me, and there
was a physical distance that hadn't been there before.  Was I disappointed?
Fuck yeah.  But I think I expected this to happen, deep down, and besides,
I had become pretty obsessed with Matt.

Van had pledged a fraternity, and in July a couple of his brothers came out
to stay with him.  They were really cool guys, and I had a blast hanging
around them.  There was one guy, Jeremy, that I really got along with well.
He had dark brown hair, deep blue eyes, and a dimple that reminded me of
Darryl.  He was shorter than I was, but stockier, and he had really hairy
legs.  He was one sexy guy.  One night we were hanging around at Van's
house drinking beer and smoking pot.  We had gone to the beach that day,
and everyone was pretty wiped out, so it didn't take long for everyone to
pass out while we were watching TV.  I was sitting on the couch in between
Jeremy and Van.  I was kind of leaning against Van, and dosing, when I felt
Jeremy lean against me.  His head was resting against my arm, and his leg
was just slightly brushing against mine.  I could feel his hairy legs just
tickling my skin, and feel his body lean against mine, his chest gently
moving with his steady, rhythmic breathing, the feel of his breath exhaling
on my arm.

I was wearing OP shorts, and they were short in the style of the day.
Needless to say this guy was making me sport major wood, and my dick was
starting to poke out the leg of my pants.  I was really nervous, because
here I was with Van on my left, and his frat brother leaning on my right
side and turning me on like crazy.  And now my dick was poking out of my
shorts.  The "danger" of the situation was like an adrenaline rush, and it
just made me even hornier.  I had to do something to cover up my dick, so I
moved my arm that Jeremy was leaning on and pulled my shorts down to cover
my dick, then I lifted it up and put it around him.  He grumbled a little
bit, like you do when you're sleeping, and settled down with his had
resting against my side.  My right hand had ended up on his bare back (his
shirt rode up a bit) right above his waistline.  Feeling his warm, soft
skin and having him even closer to me was even more of a turn on.  To top
it off, Van kind of repositioned himself at the same time, lifting his arm
up and putting it on the back of the couch.  This put my face about 6
inches away from his armpit, and I could smell his familiar smell...this was
driving me fucking crazy.

I knew my dick was leaking pre-cum; I could feel it wet against the side of
my leg.  I was starting to wonder if I was just going to shoot a load right
there without touching my dick!  Then I felt a slight movement against my
right leg...a slight stroking sensation.  I opened my eyes just a little bit
and looked down and saw Jeremy's hand.  He was gently rubbing the outside
of his fingers against my leg.  I closed my eyes and felt my dick jump some
more.  I gently began moving the tips of my fingers back and forth over the
small of his back.  His movements became more deliberate, and he turned his
hand around and I felt his fingers massaging my outer leg, and gently
moving up under my shorts, grazing the side of my ass.  I ran my hand down
his shorts, moving my finger gently along the crack of his ass.  I heard
him make a stifled moan, and opened my eyes and looked down at him.  He
looked up at me, smiled, and started to get up.  I got up too..we were both
tenting like crazy, and grinning/smiling like idiots.  I looked down at the
others and they were still sound asleep, and I followed Jeremy to the
bathroom.

While I was locking the door, Jeremy shed his pants, underwear, and t-shirt
in like record time.  He was absolutely beautiful.  A little hairier than I
usually like, but different can be fun.  I shed my clothes as quick as I
could, and he reached out and grabbed my dick.  "Nice cock," he said, and
began to gently stroke me.  "You too," I said, as I grabbed his.  It had
been a long time since I had another guy's dick in my hand, and this dick
was really nice.  He was about 7 inches long, but really thin.  His dick
was so hard, I mean really hard, and the skin felt incredibly smooth
against the rigidness underneath.  "You ever been with a guy?" he asked.
"Once or twice," I said.  I wasn't in the mood to share past sexual
histories.  I wanted to cum.  "Mmmmm" he nodded, and dropped down to his
knees.  I felt his tongue on my cock, and then the amazing feeling as his
whole mouth absorbed my dick.  This boy knew how to suck a cock.

I let him work on my dick for a minute or two, but he was too good, and I
knew that if he didn't stop I'd blow.  I didn't trust myself to finish him
off once I shot my load, so I grabbed the sides of his face with my hands
and pulled my dick out of his mouth, kneeling down in front of him.  I
gently guided his face with my hands towards my lips, and started to kiss
him.  This guy was hot, but not my kind of kisser.  He kept opening and
closing his mouth, and probing hard with his tongue.  I guess for me,
kissing is a kind of bonding...for him it was an erotic exercise.  I felt
like he was kissing me with the same kind of moves he'd use to eat a
pussy. I pushed him on his back, and started going to town on his dick.
God he was fun to suck.  It seemed like his dick was made for my mouth.  It
fit perfectly in the back of my throat.  No gagging.  He moved around
underneath me into a 69 position and started licking my balls.  God he was
making me hot.

I felt his tongue move slowly down my taint, and felt it graze across my
asshole.  A bolt of electricity shot through my body.  I had done this to
guys before, and they seemed to like it, but no one had ever done this to
me.  I swallowed his cock with a frenzy, and started playing with his balls
with hand.  "You like that?" he said.  "Mmmmm" was my response (After all,
I had a dick in my mouth).  "Damn, you give good head", he said, and dived
into my ass with his tongue.  My whole body was tingling.  I knew that I
couldn't last long.  He reached around and started stroking my dick and I
let out a loud moan.  I felt his balls rise in my hand, and I knew that he
was going to cum.  "I'm gonna cum" he moaned into my ass, and I felt his
first shot hit the back of my throat.  My body started to spasm, I felt
this huge orgasm building, and I started to shoot my load all over his
chest.  He came and came and came, and so did I.

Sometimes it's weird after you cum, but this guy was like me, and had a
sense of humor.  "Man, you are fucking hot.  Good thing we did this in the
bathroom" he said with a smile, as he looked down at all the cum on his
chest.  "So are you," I replied.  "Looks like I just had my dinner."  We
kind of laughed as he cleaned up and we got dressed.  While I was pulling
up my shorts, he looked at me and asked "So, you ever done anything like
this with Van?"  "No," I lied.  "Our friendship isn't like that".  "Too
bad.  He's fucking hot" he said.

I went back into the room where the guys were still passed out, just to
make sure that everyone was still sleeping, nodded goodbye to Jeremy, and
headed home to my room.  I was pretty disturbed.  I mean, fucking around
with Jeremy had been awesome, but the thought of him screwing around with
Van made me incredibly fucking jealous.  What would Van do if Jeremy tried
something with him?  If Van got pissed off and rebuffed him, would Jeremy
spill his guts about what happened between us?  What if Van responded?  The
vision of Van making out with Jeremy, sucking his dick, fucking him...it was
driving me crazy.  And Van loved rim jobs.  Jeremy was great at them.  In a
few short minutes I had taken myself to a level of misery that only I can
do.  After about half an hour of churning inside, I got a grip, took a
shower, and went down to make myself something to eat.  Guess Jeremy's load
wasn't as filling as I thought.

The next day, the guys all came over and went swimming.  My parents were
both gone for the day, so we were drinking and smoking like crazy.  At one
point, we ran out of beer, and Van decided to drive one of the other guys
down to the store to buy some more.  This made perfect sense, since Van was
the most sober and the other guy had a fake ID.  The third guy decided to
go along for the ride, so that left Jeremy and I alone at my house.

As soon as they left, I swam over next to Jeremy.  "You won't tell anyone
about yesterday, will you?"  "Fuck no, man.  I'm no fag.  I don't want
anyone to know as bad as you don't."  "Cool", I said, feeling relieved.
Then he got this evil smile.  "You know, lets take a blood oath of silence,
only instead of blood, lets use cum".  I started laughing.  "A cum oath?
Does that stand up in a court of law?"  We were laughing really hard until
he leaned over and kissed me in his annoying way.  "OK, but we have to
hurry.  They'll be back soon" I said, grabbing him by the hand and leading
him up to my room.

We got in my room, I locked the door, and shed my shorts.  We were on the
bed making out in no time flat.  Damn, this guy made me so horny!  We were
kind of rolling around, embracing, in a wrestling kind of way.  I was
bigger than this guy, and I knew I could take him, so I pushed him on his
back and pinned him.  "You're ass is mine, motherfucker" I joked.  "OK," he
said.  I started chewing (gently) on his nipples, using my body to pin him
down.  I could feel his hard cock rubbing against my stomach.  I moved down
his chest, kissing his body as I went, moving my nipple over the head of
his cock, until I got to my destination.  There was his cock, as hard as
yesterday, staring right at me.  I started teasing it with my tongue,
running it around the ridge of his head.  There was no one home, so he was
moaning really loud.  It was fucking hot.  Then I swallowed him with one
quick motion.  He arched his back...I felt his whole body spasm.  Funny how,
here I was sucking this guys dick, and I felt so in control.  One flick of
my tongue and I could make his body contort with pleasure.  I moved down
and started licking his balls, taking them into my mouth one at a time.  He
didn't seem to be as into that, but I just knew he'd like what came next.
I moved my mouth down his crack, spreading his ass cheeks, and gently
brushed his asshole with my tongue.  He let out a huge moan.  I ate his
hole, sticking my tongue as far in as I could.  Since we'd been in the
pool, we were both pretty "clean".  If anything, it smelled like chlorine.

Suddenly he pushed me off him, and moved me onto my back.  He started
sucking on my dick.  Damn I was hard.  I was so turned on!  This guy knew
just how to use his mouth.  After a minute, he pulled off and kneeled over
me, stroking his dick.  "You got any Vaseline?" he asked.  "Sure" I said,
and reached for the ever-convenient jar next to my bed.  I figured that he
wanted to lube up and blow a load all over me.  Fine with me.  Instead, he
starts putting the Vaseline on my dick.  It felt good, his hand sliding up
and down on my cock, but I was kind of disappointed, because I was hoping
I'd get to blow this load down his throat.  Then he moved over me, and
lowered his ass down onto my cock.  He wanted me to fuck him.  I couldn't
believe it.  I just lay there, while he slowly sat down on my dick.  I
could see his face scrunch up as my dick broke through the ring of his ass,
and he stopped for a minute, breathing really heavily.  Then he started
lowering himself down on me until I felt his ass cheeks rubbing against my
pubes.  God that felt awesome.  So much tighter than a pussy.  I was glad
he was going slow, otherwise I'd have blown a nut in record time.

He started slowly moving up and down on my dick, jiggling his ass to, I
guess, make my dick hit his prostate.  His dick wasn't totally hard
anymore, but it was leaking like crazy.  "You like that?" he asked.  "Tell
me you like that."  He wanted me to talk dirty to him.  That was hot.  "You
have such a tight ass".  "It feels so fucking great".  And shit like that.
He was moaning, and I was grabbing his nipples like a chick would when she
rides you.  He raised himself up again, only this time he lifted off me.
"I want you to fuck me" he said, and lay on his back.  I lifted his legs
up, lined up my cock, and thrust my dick in his ass.  "Go slow," he
pleaded.  "Fuck you.  You wanted to be fucked, you're gonna be fucked.
How's it feel bitch?"  I said as I drove into him.  That's not my normal
style, but I just had a feeling that's what he wanted.  Boy was I right.  I
started pounding his ass.  Man it felt good.  He was moaning, and stroking
his dick while I reamed him.  Then he totally amazed me.  He wasn't hard,
just kind of plump, when all of a sudden he starts blowing cum all over.  I
felt his ass tighten around my cock, and that set me over the edge.  I felt
like I came for an hour.  He did too.

"That was fucking amazing" I said to him.  I leaned down and kissed him
gently on the lips.  He kind of responded, but moved away quickly.  He
wasn't into intimacy, which was fine.  Thinking about it, I was treating
him like I would have treated a chick I just fucked.  Anyway, we pulled our
suits on, didn't say a word, and went back down to the pool.  I grabbed the
last two beers, and we hung out and bullshitted like nothing happened.
Weird.

Two days later they left to go back to Colorado.  I shook hands with all of
them, and as I shook Jeremy's hand, he looked into my eyes and gave me a
mischievous wink.  He was a lot of fun, but I really didn't have major
feelings for him.  Even if I did, they would have been clouded by my
jealousy for Van.  This guy was awesome in bed, and I knew that he and Van
would be super-compatible.

Van left the next week.  I was getting used to him coming and going now, so
although it was sad, it wasn't devastating like the first time.  Besides,
we were definitely moving in different worlds.  We were close, but the
general direction of our friendship was apart, not together.

Our vacation this year was supposed to be somewhere other than Chicago, but
we decided to go there anyway.  Actually, I decided to go there, and
lobbied hard enough to force my parent's hand.  I had two very formidable
arguments on my side.  First of all, it was my graduation year, and I
asserted that I should get to pick where we went.  Second, my grandmother
was getting old, and I wanted to see her again, and I made my Dad feel so
guilty about it that he pretty much forced my mother to go.  My mom was
pissed at me, but we weren't really getting along anyway, so what the hell.
She was really mad at me for not getting good grades.  She had hoped I'd go
to some Ivy League school, and get a scholarship to lighten the financial
load on them.  Neither one of those things happened.

We planned to spend a week in Chicago, but I decided to extend my trip by a
week.  We got there and it was pretty much the same routine.  It was so
great to see my grandmother.  She was old, but as sparky as ever.  And my
aunt was thrilled that I was there.  We seemed to develop a tighter bond
every time we were together.  But most of all, Matt was there.

He arrived in the same Camaro about 2 hours after we got back from the
airport.  It was great the way my family accepted him, and it was great
just to have him around.  I had to admit that I was totally in love with
this guy.  He was just too perfect.  Great looks.  Great body.  Great
personality.  I really wanted to move our friendship to the romantic level,
but then again I didn't.  So much of the fun that we had was basic male
camaraderie.  Hanging out.  Playing baseball (I was actually becoming
competent with the bat and ball).  If we fucked around, I was sure all that
would change.  Would I exchange our friendship for a romp in the sack?  No,
I wouldn't.

Nonetheless, the sexual tension was there.  I don't think I was imagining
it.  One time we were running up the stairs to my room (my parents stayed
in a hotel this time, so I had my own room), and he was behind me, and I
felt him grab my ass.  It was so ambiguous.  Was it a grab, or a playful
pinch?  Then we were playing baseball, just the two of us, and he was
trying to show me how to hit the ball.  Again, he stood behind me, and
grabbed my hands.  His voice seemed to be so seductive as he murmured
instructions into my ear.  I felt enveloped by him.  Was this baseball
instruction, or was he trying to be close to me?  Was I making all this up,
creating a situation that I wanted in my mind that didn't exist?  Was I
projecting my fantasies into the real world?

All I know for sure is that I went home more confused and in love with him
than ever, with friction burns on my dick from jacking off all the time.  I
landed exactly two days before the start of a whole new chapter in my life:
college.