Date: Sun, 09 Sep 2001 20:13:22 -0700
From: Josh Heilig <joshbabe22@hotmail.com>
Subject: What You Won't Do for Love 04

What You Won't Do for Love, Chapter 4
By JoshBabe <joshbabe22@hotmail.com>

This work contains depictions of homosexuality. If
that is illegal in your jurisdiction, please, do not
continue reading this.

This work is copyright (c) 2001 by JoshBabe. You may
download and keep an unlimited number of copies for
personal use, but this work may not be used under any
circumstances without the prior consent of the author
with the exception of a personal copy. Aesthetic
changes (font size, font face, whitespace) do not
constitute a change that requires the author's
permission; any non-whitespace changes to the actual
text of the story require prior permission.




WHAT YOU WON'T DO FOR LOVE, CHAPTER FOUR

I apologize to those of you who are tired of hearing
me recap, but I don't want to make you reread previous
chapters every time there's a new one.

So, we were off to Jessica's party, after an
interesting evening of soul-searching and discussion
between Alex and myself. We met at a park, and talked
some, and talked about when we first found out we were
attracted to guys.

Then, Alex came back to my house, where we were going
to spend the night. We ended up falling asleep on my
living room floor, and talked about a whole slew of
things, from sex to relationships, and, of course,
Alex's parents, who had issues with teen sex
(understandably) and with homosexuality. Everyone
knows how I feel on the latter, of course. He
explained what had happened to him when he first read
"The City and the Pillar". I introduced him to Mom,
who managed to embarrass me again by reminding me of
where she kept condoms. Thanks, Mom. When she woke us
up for good at 1:00, she told us that Jessica was
having a party, so we both threw ourselves into
preparation, and I went on a shopping trip, saw some
friends, and got to play shallow all afternoon. I
bought some new clothes to look especially good for
Alex. When he came to pick me up, I was blown away by
his excellent taste. I impressed him, too. My mom
wouldn't let him drive the BMW, so I drove, even
though I didn't much want to.

This was the big day, of course. Jessica's parties
were major stuff, socially speaking. I was driving a
little over the speed limit, because I didn't want to
be late, and no one ever comes late to a party at her
house, but I wasn't nervous because I was really going
the speed of traffic. Anyway, I had Alex with me,
which seemed to be calming me down nicely, and I had
the radio on, playing nicely.

When I got to Jessica's, we were exactly on time, and
parked in front of her palatial house. Remember when I
said her dad was a foreign diplomat from France? Well,
he's paid awfully well, because they had this massive
house up in the West Hills, way outside of Forestdale.
She transferred to Kennedy from West Portland High,
our major competitor school, because of our theater
department. Until Forestdale officially became part of
Portland, it was the only high school on the west side
of the river, hence the name. Anyway. It was a
gorgeous place, all white stucco and windows. They had
an incredible view, and it was set back from the road,
with a beautiful garden in the front. Truly
incredible.

I parked the car in front, and Jessica came out to
greet us. "Josh!" she cried, and I gave her a hug.
"How are you?"

Like usual, I just shrugged. "Pretty well, thanks."

Then she moved on, to Alex. "Hi, Alex!" she breathed,
fluttering her eyelids. "How are you?"

He grinned. "Great, thanks. I really appreciate your
inviting me today, Jessica... that says a lot about
you."

"I couldn't exactly exclude a good friend's new love
interest from a social event, now, could I?"

God, she knew how to make me blush. "Jessica!" I
cried.

She beamed back at us. "Did I say something wrong?"
Over her shoulder, she turned her head and looked,
hair swishing against the sleeves of her green shirt,
on which she had magnanimously only done one button.
Below that were a pair of black pants. "George! Could
you come out here and show Josh and Alex in? I've
still got one more guest to greet." She turned back to
us. "You look wonderful, Josh," she said, with a sly
smile and a little twinkle in her dark black eyes.

I tried to look down on her, condescendingly, but
failed abysmally. We just both laughed. "Thanks,
Jessica. I happen to like this outfit."

"Does it matter to you? Do YOU like it, Alex?"

"Jessica!" I cried, not wanting to deal with this.

She was unrepentant. God, she could be like Mom
sometimes, I swear. "Sorry."

George, her butler, I guess, for lack of a better
term, came out to greet us. "Hello," he said, a crisp,
no-nonsense British accent coming at us. I knew better
than to fall for it -- he was French, like everyone in
this house -- but I'd have to tell Alex when it
wouldn't be so embarrassing. "Miss Jessica sent me to
show you in, gentlemen."

I had to stifle a laugh at the uniform she'd made him
wear today -- usually, he was fairly casual, in khakis
and a polo shirt. Her family tended to be under-
dressed or over-dressed, and she'd made poor George
lean toward the latter this time around, wearing his
white dress uniform. So, I presumed, would be her
father.

I followed him, though, and Alex looked at me
quizzically, so I just waved him along. We got a quick
tour of the house, for Alex's benefit -- George, of
course, recognized me -- and then were shown into the
living room, where, lounging with sodas in high-balls
were Autumn, Michael, Ira, Meredith, and three of
Jessica's good friends. I waved, and Autumn and
Meredith got up immediately to come over and give me a
hug.

Alex, unfortunately, didn't know anyone there, so I
introduced him to all seven of the others. He gave
them all a nice handshake -- I swear, it was uncanny,
it was like watching a politician; I know, I've spent
enough time around them. He made a conscious effort to
remember all of their names, and I knew he was being
sincere. That really impressed me.

I gave him some little doe eyes, just for him, of
course. I cleared my throat and went to go look for
Jessica, to talk to her. She had just finished saying
hello to the last arrival, whose name I've since
forgotten -- she was new -- and I went up to her and
asked her, "Do they know about Alex and me yet?"

She looked puzzled. "Huh?"

"Do your guests know about us?"

I saw understanding flash in her eyes, but she still
looked a little stupefied. "No... do you want them to,
Josh? Why do you ask?"

I let myself grin a little. "Well, not really, but I
don't want to have to worry about slipping up and
holding his hand or anything. I guess I could simply
not say anything, and if I slip up, well, they'll
know, won't they?"

"Or Meredith could tell them, of course, and she very
well may yet," she added helpfully.

Oh, God. Meredith. I hope she doesn't threat to cut
anyone's balls off this time. Or, for that matter, try
coming on to one of the girls. She did that at one of
Jessica's parties, and ended up seriously hurting a
couple of people's feelings. I felt really badly for
her.

"OK," I said to her, "we'll try Sublime Plan #1."

"Sublime?"

Oh, geez... I forgot. No one else seems to be
interested in vocab. "Means 'cool', kind of... more
like 'inspiring' or 'uplifting'."

"This plan is?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, I was being mildly facetious.
Sorry."

She punched me in the arm. "Ow!" I exclaimed
playfully, rubbing the spot where she'd hit me. "What
the hell was that for?"

"I thought it would be fun."

"Sublime, right?"

She laughed and gave me a big hug. "Right. Let's go in
and face everyone, shall we? Maybe you should forget
being subtle, and just sit down on Alex's lap. It
would be cute, and I'm sure he'd love it."

I blushed furiously, like I think she knew I would.
But, of course, she continued, disregarding my
embarrassment (and, although she didn't notice, partly
visible excitement), "And then he could give you a
little kiss, and then you could order each other
drinks. It would be really sweet, like something out
of the movies."

"Except that when gay men kiss in movies, it gets
rated R. At best. Straight people can kiss in a movie,
but oh, no, homosexuality is wrong."

We both laughed. "I'm European, so I'm allowed to
think it's sweet..."

"Aren't the French bothered by Americans, though? It
should be disgusting, not because we're men but
because we're not French."

She shrugged. "I've lived here a long time, Josh. A
lot of my life. I've never lived in France, anyway.
How do you think I got this name? My parents were
living in New York. Mom has since moved to Rome, and
they're semi-formally separated, but Dad is working
for the local trade office. He complains of having
been exiled. I think it's wonderful. I hated New
York."

Well, that explained a lot. I never did remember what
her dad did. "Is he planning on moving back to
France?"

"He hated France. Why do you think he accepted an
overseas position? He originally wanted Lisbon,
actually, or London -- Portugal and England were
always his favorites."

We were in the hallway at this point, which didn't
really make a difference because the walk from her
front door to the living room was ludicrous. It was
hidden away, for all practical purposes, although it
was more like a lounge than anything else. The proper
living room, in the front of house, was fully
furnished, but I don't think I've ever seen anyone sit
in the furniture there. It's very stiff-looking. She
says it's real furniture from the time of Louis XV,
that's been in her father's family a long time.

When Alex heard our voices, he came over and gave me a
long kiss, in a little corner alcove. Oh, my God, it
was unbelievable. I swear, his kisses got better every
hour. It was almost impossible to break it off, and
every time I tried, we'd start back up again. I think
we spent five minutes in that little alcove.

Finally, I pushed his head away from me. "Alex, we
really need to go back in," I told him, while he ran
his fingers down my sweater. He liked it, as we
established earlier. I had my hands in his hair, and I
loved the texture of it... it smelled nice, and wasn't
at all dry, even though it was pretty coarse. I guess
that was a nice match, I had really super-fine hair.

He just smiled at me, and gave me one last kiss. That
wasted another minute or so. "OK, let's go," he said,
holding my hand, and I didn't even realize that we
were doing it until we walked into the room and had
sat down on the couch. Actually, that's not fair. I
was so dense, it took someone asking, "Are you two,
like, together?"

It was one of Jessica's friends. I can never keep them
straight, anyway; it was a miracle I managed to
introduce Alex successfully to all of them. There were
at least twelve of them, who looked and acted
interchangeably. They loved Jessica because they were
all desperate to be thought like they were 'super-high
society', you know, and she was indeed the very emblem
of that. A drama queen, too, although an unusually
normal Thespian. She loved theater. Who knew how she'd
met them? Some of them were from West Portland, and
some from Kennedy, and a couple from St. Andrew's. She
had, I think, two from Kennedy, and one from WP and
St. Andrew's, that night. Like I said, I have no idea,
really, how I can keep them straight, except that they
all seemed to be named Heather, Alexandra or
Elizabeth. Every single one. I swear. How they keep
themselves straight, I don't know, either. They even
DRESSED alike!

Alex responded for me, because I guess I was totally
embarrassed and practically stammering. "Yes, we are,"
he said, totally straight-faced. He put a hand on top
of mine. "Do you have a problem with it?"

"No, of course not," she said, coolly. Sometimes, you
know, when people say that, they don't mean it...
they're very flustered, but don't want to be thought
bigoted. (This is metropolitan Oregon, of course, the
"hotbed of liberalism" that conservatives always
complain about.) She really did mean it. I could tell,
by the way she looked us straight in the eyes, and
didn't get flustered or anything. "Why would there
be?"

"I dunno," I said, managing to make my valuable
contribution to the conversation.

She smiled at us. "As a matter of fact, you make a
wonderfully cute couple. I was thinking to myself
earlier, what a shame that Alex doesn't have anyone
with him, but he does. It's nice. Except I guess I get
cut out of the running..."

We laughed with her. Alex looked at me and said,
"You're not going to give her a chance, are you? I'm
going to be terribly hurt if you do, babe."

So I just shrugged it off, smiled, and gave him a
kiss. "Answer your question?"

Ira butted in at that point, "OK, guys, enough with
the sickening-sweet flirty stage. You can do that on
your own time. I'm here to have fun."

"But Ira!" I objected, a mischievous grin flashing
across my face. "You don't think kissing me is fun?
Wanna try?"

He flustered, but Meredith looked at him squarely.
"Better not say anything, Ira... I would hate to see
you lose those pretty little testicles of yours."

I gasped. "Meredith! Geez! You'd think he'd said
something terrible! You're just being hyper-sensitive,
is all." I just reclined back in the nice, soft couch,
which was, like much of the house, chosen for maximum
dramatic effect. I loved her place more than mine --
I'm not that partial, personally, to old farmhouses,
even inasmuch as mine is Home, with a capital H.

Well, I know this sounds like a terribly interesting
party to you, but after all, no one said parties are
fun the entire time, although Ira's was. Jessica went
over to her stereo and put on some music -- luckily
for me, she wasn't into any of that pop crap, you
know, no Christina Aguilera or Backstreet Boys. Just
old-fashioned rock. Like all of us. (Well, except for
the Dozen Identical Girls, who probably only listened
to whatever was on Jessica's radio the last time they
were at her house. I swear, they worship her.)

Then, we sat around and talked for a long time. I
would love to detail the entire conversation for you,
but I don't think I could. Keep in mind, it was some
time ago, you know? I could probably give you a
general idea, but it wouldn't be terribly coherent.
Conversations usually aren't.

Wow. That was philosophical. But I'm digressing.

Alex and I spent some time, cuddling, while we were
watching the movie, you know, and that was fun. Oh,
whoops, forgot to tell you. Details. We watched a
movie. It was "Varsity Blues", which is fun just
because it has two unbelievably cute protagonists --
Paul Walker as "Lance", and James van der Beek as
"Mox" -- crammed onto one TV screen. And, of course,
Jessica had an HDTV, which runs at nearly DVD aspect
ratio, which means that we had no horizontal clipping
or vertical stretching.

Anyway, Alex and I spent all the time discussing how
much fun it would be to enjoy the company of both
Lance and Mox at once, quietly, of course, since the
four interchangeable girls were raptly watching the
movie. Jessica was sprawled back on the couch, feet
up, with her arm around Ira. The two of them were
close, and had dated at one point -- that had always
struck me as odd. Meredith was, predictably, enjoying
watching everyone else, like the old joke-job
description about the psychologist: Enjoys watching
everyone else when a beautiful girl walks into a room.

The movie is unbelievably, ludicrously shallow at some
points, and shows unexpected depth at others. It's
typical, I suspect, of a teen movie, but I expect
better quality cinema than that. I'm sorry, but the
pinnacle of our cinema is either "American Pie" or
"Saving Private Ryan"? Give me a break. People who
take surveys have no culture. Period.

Things got interesting when we actually got around to
going to bed, about 1:00. We had all brought sleeping
bags, of course. That was requisite. While we were all
getting ready, brushing our teeth and the like -- we'd
eaten a lot of the excellent food that George's wife,
Nicole, prepared for us -- Meredith sidled up next to
me and whispered in my ear, "You ought to hook up your
sleeping bag with Alex's, man."

"Meredith!" I whispered back fiercely, shocked. "There
are other people in that room!"

She grinned mischeviously. "Privacy could probably be
arranged, at request. I bet Jessica would be willing."

I blushed, turning red as the nearest turnip patch.
"My God! Stop it!"

"You look like you like the suggestion," she grinned
at me, tousling my hair. Damn, I liked that hairdo,
and now she was going to ruin it. Only two people ever
mess with my hair, my grandmother Heilig and Meredith.

I grinned at her, a little sheepishly. "OK, so maybe I
do. It would probably be inappropriate."

"Inappropriate? Who said that? We'd all cheer you all
on. New couples need lots of time together," she said,
returning my grin with a mischievous twinkle in her
eyes. Why did that keep coming back to haunt me? "And
you are, after all. You're much cuter, as a couple,
than you are with Julie. Break up with her."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, that would be fun."

"She's not right for you anyway. You fit like a little
part of a jigsaw puzzle with Alex, you know -- where
you stick out, he juts in, and it just kind of fits
together."

I laughed, and didn't hesitate to point out the double
entendre. She blushed. "I really didn't mean it that
way, damn it!" she cried, loudly.

Everyone looked over at us. We'd been whispering
before that, after all, and then Meredith bursts out
with something ridiculous like that.

Alex looked over. "Did she give you any suggestions?
I'm always open for them."

I cupped my hands over my ears and ran out of the
bathroom, crying, "I'm being besieged!"

I heard him laugh, and then race after me, and caught
me in the living room. He tackled me onto the couch,
and began to tell me that, for running again, he was
going to make me very sorry I'd ever done it.

"How?" I asked, actually afraid. I'd only known him a
day. God only knows what he could do.

He leaned in and kissed me, with all the attention
he'd ever lavished on me, all at once. Oh, my God, it
was absolutely overwhelming. I don't even think I knew
that I was still on this planet, while we were
kissing. It might have lasted ten seconds, or three
hours, or all night. I wouldn't have ever known,
except that my basic presumption is that everyone left
us alone for a little while and then came and rejoined
us. Who knows?

Anyway, he smiled mischievously when he finally broke
his kiss with me, and felt in my pants pocket.
"Condoms?" he asked, grinning.

"What do you think? This is my mom we're talking
about. Of course. I have some in the car, too, and in
my dresser, and plus she keeps a stash in the
bathroom, I guess in case of emergencies. Jeez, Mom."

He laughed with me. "You're not serious, are you?"

"Well, we don't have any in the bathroom," I said,
reluctantly. "But all the rest are true."

He leaned in and kissed me, and then we rolled off the
couch, and managed to get our sleeping bags zipped to
each other, somehow still kissing all the while. Then,
we slid in, slowly, and I felt him pull off my sweater
and shirt. I took off the shirt he had tied around his
waist, which was really for effect anyway, and then
the polo. What skin! It was amazing, to feel the
muscles rippling beneath the bronze.

Everything after that, I will leave to your
imagination, saying only: I discovered that night that
love does come in physical as well as emotional
flavors, and I had discovered both. With Alex.

We were laying in the sleeping bags, I naked as the
day I was born and Alex in a pair of boxers which
might've been mine when everyone else came in. I was
glad, at that point, that we had ourselves all covered
up.

"Have fun, boys?" Meredith grinned smugly at us.

I was blushing, because I had completely forgotten I
wasn't exactly in the most private of locations, but
Alex seemed to be fairly secure of himself. "Actually,
yes. I'm not telling all the gory details, but the
short answer is yes."

Everyone made a kind of 'aww' sound that made me
wonder, were they that excited about us hooking up?
Like it was such a big deal?

"Do you realize how long we had to stay outside? Geez,
it's been almost an hour, kids. Don't you ever get
tired? I mean, what happened to all the stuff we
learned in health about men needing time to recuperate
after ejaculation? If you were girls, I would say,
sure, an hour, fine, you'll be tired, but that'll have
been fully active time. Two men must get tired awfully
quick."

By this time, I was so totally embarrassed that I was
hiding in the sleeping bag, covering my ears with my
hands, trying not to hear.

Alex just grinned. "What can I say? We're good, is
all." He nudged me with his foot. "This one is much
better than he gives himself credit for, at any rate.
Shit, kid, where did you learn all that stuff?"

This was, of course, just a total bluff, because I had
demonstrated almost nothing that I didn't have
instinctively. Except I was still a virgin, by the
President's own high standards.

Yes, I know Bill Clinton isn't the president anymore,
but as I tell this story, I find it hard to set myself
forward all this time and pretend that the Usurper
really has been inaugurated. It seems like a dream,
those halcyon days with human beings with human
desires in the White House. Rather than apes and dead
people, that is.

OK, though; enough editorializing about George W. and
Dick, and on with the story!

I was just totally mortified. "Alex!" I cried. "Is
EVERYONE out to get me?"

He unzipped the sleeping bag, just enough that he
could get to my head, and stage-whispered, "Of course,
baby."

I grabbed at a pair of boxers and my jeans, put them
on, and walked off in a flurry. He looked hurt, but
then again, he might've been acting. I didn't care.
I'd had enough of their stupid needling.

I went into Meredith's room, shut the door and locked
it, put on some music and opened up her laptop. She
had a G3 Powerbook, a very pretty, sleek Mac, and it
was fun to use. That, and since she had an Airport
network at home, she had totally wireless Net access
everywhere in the house, and a DSL line to boot. My
mom would have loved this setup. It was in
hibernation, but when it finished loading, I went
ahead and gave IE a start.

With a few clicks and a little typing, I managed to
get ahold of my iDrive, and I started flicking through
my comfort files, if you will; my porn. At that time,
although it's since metamorphosed, it was all straight
stuff, which was comforting. I'd known I was bi for
about 36 hours, and I needed something straight after
that experience with Alex. You know how it goes, I'm
sure.

I peeled out her headphones and grabbed a movie. I
love high-speed networks; the 90MB, 15-minute movie
that I had stored was a wonderful comfort at that
point. Ohh, yeah.

Then, once I was done amusing myself, I pulled up the
Web browser version of InstantMessenger. I'm paranoid
about my buddy list, so I don't ever log on using
someone else's software. A couple of my friends, from
summer camps and the like, were online, so I spent
some time talking to them. I even came out to a couple
of them... I even told one of my friends about Alex.

After a few minutes -- OK, a lot of minutes -- I heard
a sound and saw Julie's name flick up in the
AIMExpress window. Oh, God. Julie. Shit. I waited a
minute or so, because I knew she'd never see it in
time, and then logged off, quickly. Great. Of course,
I felt a lot better about myself now.

It was time to go back out and face the party.

I got up, suspended Jessica's G3, cut the lights off
and poked my head out her door. Coast was clear. I
walked back to the living room, and saw some evil-
looking glares poking out at me.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Jessica shot at me,
her eyes glaring. "So sensitive, you have to go and
hide from us? Your friends?"

I muttered, "With friends like these, who needs
enemies?"

Alex looked like he'd been hit. He visibly recoiled.
In retrospect, my heart breaks for the emotional
damage I'd done him, twice in 24 hours, which I never
even noticed while I was doing it.

Meredith walked up to me, laid a finger on my
forehead, and pressed. Where did she learn to do that?
It hurt like hell. "Josh, we were happy for you. Damn
happy for you. How do you return that? You get
sensitive; you run off and hide from us. That hurt,
man. A lot." She pressed harder. "I don't know whose
team you're on, but here, you have the perfect man,
and you can't even deal with it."

Alex just stared at me, looking like he was in pain.
His eyes were practically brimming with tears.
Finally, he broke down and started sobbing.

Was this for real? What did I do that was so wrong? I
walked over and put my arm around Alex. He shook me
off, and pretty abruptly at that.

"Just get away from me, bitch," he cried out, finally,
and went back to sobbing. Meredith and Jessica just
sat there, cradling him.

Jessica turned to me. "Get out of my sight."

I ran from the room, and stumbled on the steps, and
suddenly went black...




"Josh! Wake up!" I felt someone's hand on my shoulder.
My eyes were bleary, and I was sweaty all over. "Wake
up, bud!"

I blinked a couple of times, and my eyes slowly came
into focus. I coughed, and turned my head around to
look at a crowd of concerned-looking people. I was
sprawled on the floor somewhere, and everyone else was
standing around me, it would seem.

"Where am I?"

Someone said -- I was still having difficulty focusing
-- "Jessica's room. We, uhh, found you lying here. Did
you, like, faint or something?"

I blinked. What happened?

"You, like, ran away when Alex was teasing you, and we
came up to check in on you and you were, like, laying
here in front of Jessica's desk, man."

OK, so the fight never happened. Did I have a
concussion from my fall or something? Christ, I'm
lucky I didn't die.

Suddenly, rushing into the room came George and
Jessica's father, Michel. "Qu'est-ce qu'a passe?" her
father asked Jessica quietly.

"Father, something happened... we think he might have
fainted or something. We found him here, I guess
sleeping."

"And how? I would hate to think that something
untoward had happened."

"Sounds like we need to get him to the hospital, pere.
Ne pouvons pas l'aider."

"Bien, ma chere," her father responded smoothly.

She turned back to us. "OK, guys. We need to get Josh
to the hospital... he needs to be checked out. Someone
call Susan, and we, umm, should get moving."

Christ. Hospital? Fuck. What was the matter?

In the background, I could hear someone calling my
mother, and George and Michel walked off, talking. I
got the general impression, following their
conversation -- funny thing; before, I never
understood a lick of French -- that George was going
to get the car, and we were going to go to the
hospital, and my mom would meet us there.

Soon enough, they carried me, still lying down,
really, into her father's limo, assigned to him by his
office. Everyone else got in, and we went off to
Oregon Health Sciences University, one of those really
neat hospitals. It wasn't far from her house, and at 2
A.M. that was a great choice. I felt a hand on my
forehead, and I looked up and saw my blonde love-of-
the-day looking down over me, concernedly. "You'll be
OK," he whispered, and gave me a kiss on the forehead.
"You know how I know?"

"How?" I asked, still a little dry-throated. I was
being terse, because it hurt to talk.

He shrugged. "Because you look like you're OK already,
babe. I have something in mind." He gave my thigh a
little rub. Jesus, did this babe ever think about
anything else? STOP GETTING EXCITED! He'll notice!

"OK, break it up, you two," Meredith said, laughing,
and elbowing Alex. "We need to keep this one healthy,
and I'm sure doctors frown on sex right after
concussions. 'Sides, we are in a public place."

Jessica looked warningly at Meredith. "Remember how
the teasing that made Josh run away started?"

She was silent. Damn, Jessica was good sometimes. I
didn't want to say anything, but if I had been in good
health like the other fourteen people in the limo, I
would have applauded.

"OK, we're here," someone said, and the door opened
and my mom rushed in.

"Are you OK, sweetie?"

"Yeah, Mom," I croaked, and laid back on the couch.
Someone brought a stretcher to come and get me. I sort
of dozed off into sleep, I'm told, at that point.



COMMENTS FROM THE AUTHOR

Hey, guys. For those of you who actually do speak
French, I apologize for what I've done. Je ne parle
pas bien le francais, parce que n'ai etudie la langue
dans un classe. Je la ai etudie d'un livre, et ils ne
se pouvent aider d'etudier bien une langue.

For those of you who don't speak French, I made sure I
used almost no French, except for names and that sort
of thing. (Except for the paragraph above, I guess.)
That's a little brain exercise for you.

I hope I'm not going to get too many flames about my
comments about Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and Dick
Cheney. Sometimes, I have to fight the urge to
editorialize; other times, I just give in and do it
anyhow. That was one of those times.

Thank you guys for all your comments. I haven't gotten
a lot -- I *think* I've gotten six or seven, maybe as
many as ten -- but what I have gotten has been
tremendously valuable. Besides, hey, whose ego doesn't
need boosting at some point? I just envy those guys
who post their stories in the gay section, and get a
million messages in their mailbox. That must be
flattering.

That's a hint; did you all hear me?

I may or may not put up my own website. It'll be in
Josh's name too, so you can find it... I could even
post fan mail and flames! That would be fun! (Or not.)

Keep sending the mail to joshbabe22@hotmail.com. As
usual, flames go to /dev/null. Before I read them.