Date: Wed, 29 Dec 2010 09:55:23 -0000
From: Nick <nakednick2@btinternet.com>
Subject: Keeping it in Family - Chapter 29

Keeping it in Family -- Chapter 29

WARNING:  The following true story -- only the names of the participants have
been changed -- contains descriptions of gay, bisexual and incestuous
activity between adult relatives and others, activities which may be illegal
in some jurisdictions or cause offence against some religious beliefs.
Please do not read any further if you are likely to be offended by its
content or if it might be illegal in your country!  By the way, the story is
written with the full knowledge and approval of all the living persons
having significant mention therein.

* * * *

About an hour into my journey, Tom called.  He had set up our conference
call for 11am on Monday, between himself, Jerry, Jill and me. He felt sure
we would be able to agree my personal terms and asked that I should consider
the Newcastle/Wales conundrum over the weekend.  As soon as I got within
striking distance of home I called Sarah again, "I'll see you in about
twenty or twenty-five minutes, darling.  I've got even more to tell you
about over dinner now."

"What makes you still think that dinner comes first?"

"Well, if it doesn't, the news will have to wait!  See you soon.  Bye for
now."

I parked the car in the drive, gathered my belongings and was surprised
Sarah wasn't at the door to welcome me.  I unlocked it and went in, took off
my shoes and put my baggage in the hall, still no Sarah; then I heard a door
close upstairs.  I crept up as quietly as I could and as I opened our
bedroom door, Sarah sprang from behind it.  She leapt up at me, her hands
onto my shoulders, her legs round my waist.  I nearly fell forwards with her
weight.  Her short, flimsy nightie was round her waist; her pussy was
pressed against my groin as she brought her lips to mine and gave me a very
wet kiss, pressing her tits to my chest.

"Anybody would think that I'd been away for two weeks, not just two days," I
said as I staggered towards the bed and lowered her on to it.  She released
her grasp and was left lying there, her legs wide apart, boobs pointing
skywards.

"It seems like ages," she muttered huskily as I threw aside my trousers,
noting the wet patch on the front, just below the waistband.  A second later
my shirt and CKs were gone.  Percy was nearing full erection as I dropped to
my knees, tongued her cunt briefly then slid gently upwards and into her.
All too soon, I heard her groan, then after three or four more strokes I let
my spunk fly deep inside her body before we collapsed in a sweaty heap on
the bed.

"That was far better that our tele-wank last night," she said.

"It was indeed," I said kissing her long and hard, showing my appreciation
as Percy slowly regained his composure and dropped from her cunt, before we
relaxed, side-by-side, naked on the bed.

"Alison called earlier, among other things she was asking about our sex
life."

"In what way?"

"Well, she says she is so randy all the time; Rob thinks he is in heaven!"

"Good for Rob.  We're doing pretty well ourselves!"  There was a sharp slap
across my bare bum.

"She wanted to know if we were shagging more or less than before I was
pregnant."

"I hope you said twice as much!"  Another slap on the other cheek; actually
I was beginning to find her new-found chastisement quite sexy.  Percy was
definitely feeling a bit twitchy already!  "I shall have to talk to Rob."

"Don't you dare tell him what Alison said."

"As if I would, anyway, are we having a shower?"

"Just a quick one."

"I thought that's what we just had."  Sarah was behind me; two sharp slaps,
one on each naked buttock was my reward.  We quickly showered, dried
ourselves and dressed.

"Dinner will be ready ten minutes," she said.  "The beef casserole is
waiting for us!"

"Great!  At last I will be able to give you my news."

Over the candlelit dinner for two, accompanied by a bottle of Chateau
Maurine, I went through the company reorganisation, the remaining ifs and
buts, and its opportunities for me.  I told Sarah that the proposed MD
appointment in Newcastle was something of a charade, a precursor for the
DCEO post in the new structure.

"So you could set up the Divisional Head Office here in Birmingham so we
wouldn't have to move to Newcastle?"

"Right in one; presupposing that I get the job, of course.  I must admit to
some misgivings about moving up there.  It's too far away from Mum and Dad;
Rob says he doesn't see them often enough.  I know you'd like to be near
yours, especially as an only child."

"That's great, go for it, Nick!  Divisional Chief Executive Officer, TeeWee
Networks has a great ring to it.  Raising our kids in this house will be the
icing on the cake!"

"TW Networks, please.  You know how annoyed Larry gets with `TeeWee'!"

"Alright, dear, I'll remember!  It's apple strudel for dessert, with real
custard, OK?"

"Excellent, I'll put the real coffee pot on."

We spent the rest of the evening relaxing, discussing the trip to France,
new jobs, Sarah's latest assignment, and generally mooching about before
going up to bed.  "No more hanky-panky tonight!"  Sarah decreed and indeed I
was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.  There was little out of the
ordinary at work on Friday, though I was a bit disturbed to catch a rumour
about my moving north.

Compared with recent weeks, the weekend was also fairly ordinary with
shopping, housework and a brief visit to Sarah's parents.  We made love
again Saturday night, a long, relaxed, smoochy session, spent exploring the
intimate crevices of each other's bodies before we exploded into our usual
near simultaneous climaxes and then cleaning each other up in our usual way.
Sarah reminded me that there was a three day embargo before our early
morning flight on Friday.

The conference call on Monday started decisively, with Jill readily agreeing
with Tom that my initial move to Newcastle as Managing Director should
attract terms two steps above my present grade, both in salary and perks.
However, she was rather reluctant to commit to Tom's proposal of a further
one grade move should I be appointed as DCEO, but eventually agreed to
consider it.  As I was already getting a thirty percent pay increase I
decided not to push the matter at this stage!  Jill left the call when Tom
moved on to talk about the new Divisional structure.  I suggested that North
Wales and Newcastle should both be in the Midlands Division, leaving
Scotland and Northern Ireland and the Northern Division.  With very little
business in Powys and Ceredigion, South Wales could logically become part of
the Southern Division.  This seemed to me to represent a fair balance both
of size and technology.  Jerry was rightly a little concerned that Midland
Division would become substantially the biggest grouping but Tom eventually
won him over, saying it left scope for growth in the North and South.  Larry
and Hubert had talked to both of them after the meeting about my future and
all four supported my eventual appointment as DCEO.  Being based in the
Birmingham office rather than Newcastle, would make for easier travel to
Winchester or London as required.

Sarah had remembered that Monday was the anniversary of our first meeting
(how do women keep track of such mundane things?) and suggested an evening
out, choosing the Loch Fyne fish restaurant in Knowle, not far from our
home.  We enjoyed a pleasant, unhurried meal in what were fairly basic
surroundings but providing excellent food and service.  We drove the few
miles and were home about 9.30pm.

Of course such an anniversary had to end with making love, especially as I
was on an embargo for the next three days!  Sarah went up and by the time I
had locked up, brushed my teeth and put the lights out, Sarah was already in
our king size bed.  The lights were low and I could smell one of her scented
candles burning.  She was lying there, eyes closed, the slightest of smiles
on her lips, her legs spread-eagled, with only the sheet pulled up over her
but not so far as to hide the dark bush between her legs showing through the
sheer fabric of her nightie.  I undressed quietly and now completely naked,
I leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips; there was no reaction.  I
went round the bed and pulled her towards me so that she was lying across
the bed, her head towards me, she squealed as I kissed her harder and
longer.  I knelt on the bed behind her head and started nibbling her ear
lobes, then her nipples, first one, then the other through the thin fabric.
Suddenly, she jumped up, undid the buttons of her nightie and she was naked
in a flash.  On her knees, facing me, she started teasing my prick and balls
with her long fingers.  Do as I would, it was impossible to stop the near
instant reaction of my cock to her playful tweaking but I was determined she
wasn't getting it all her own way!

I pushed her down on to the bed again and still kneeling at her head, went
back to work on her now hardened nipples, conscious that my balls were
brushing her face and that my prick was steadily growing.  Then I was
kissing Sarah's satin smooth belly and moving onwards to bury my face in her
neatly trimmed bush.  By this time she was nibbling my ample foreskin, then
pushing it back with her lips and taking my growing knob into her mouth.
Time to move on!  I flipped her around again and was quickly on my knees
between her legs, my head down and her thighs against my shoulders, her feet
on my back, my hands under her plump buttocks, my tongue in her crack.

I slowly licked her growing clit, up and down, round and round, all the time
trying to slow down my own rapidly building readiness.  After a few short
minutes she started moaning gently; the signal had come quickly tonight!  I
lifted her buttocks and pulled her quickly towards my now fully rampant
manhood, its engorged knob completely exposed by my retracted foreskin.  I
dived into her with one great thrust.  She screamed with pleasure and I
rested for a moment in a near vain attempt to delay my own climax.
Together, we started pumping, in and out, in and out, faster and faster.
Almost every thrust was hitting the target, finding her cervix, deep inside
her body.  We were both building towards our climax with every stroke,
holding off as long as we could, until suddenly I had to let go.

I pictured the great spurt of semen shot as it shot from my now rock-hard
prick, deep into her womb.  At the same moment, Sarah screamed with the
pleasure of her own orgasm, as the spurts of semen from my cock grew weaker
and weaker.  We collapsed limply into a heap, puffing and panting like a
steam train, my dick still pulsating in her red-hot love chute.  I was
kissing her all over, belly, breasts, lips, then when my prick slipped out,
I went back to her musky slit, licking the juices and tonguing her still
rigid clitoris, sliding my body over hers, lubricated by the sweat of our
love-making.  Then she was pulling me upwards.  As I knelt astride her
belly, I felt her bush tickling my ass.

She sat up, I leaned forward.  She took my softening prick into her mouth
and sucked it clean of her juices and mine.  She took my balls, one at a
time into her mouth and gave them the most exquisite licking.  I turned
around and knelt again at her head for her to repeat the performance while I
licked her clean between the legs.  Our breathing had calmed, I turned and
we lay alongside each other in a close embrace.  We kissed long and deep and
hard, then fell back exhausted!

As usual, we were awakened by the alarm clock at 6.30.  I rolled over, our
naked bodies came together, I put my hand flat on Sarah's belly, thinking of
our baby that Sarah would be pushing out from there in a few months.  I
slipped my hand down to cover her cunt, last night it had tightly gripped my
prick.  In February it would expand enough for the baby to pass.  No
engineer could better what God had done to design a mechanism to give such
pleasure and to be so functional!

"Oh no you don't, no more until the weekend!"  My reverie was broken.  I
brought my lips to Sarah's and we kissed hard and long, causing my prick to
feel decidedly twitchy.  Sensing this, Sarah gave it a tug and said "Cold
shower time!" and pushed me towards my side of the bed before rolling out on
her side and heading for the bathroom.  After she had peed, I quickly
shaved, then joined her in the shower for our wash-down, paying close
attention to the bits that gave us so much pleasure.

Dressed and over breakfast, we discussed our plans for the rest of the
shortened week.  Sarah would finish her assignment by that evening at the
latest, leaving plenty of time for packing, shopping, cleaning and whatever.
I expected my week to be fairly busy, broken perhaps by final negotiations
over the Newcastle questions.  We would pack our bags on Wednesday evening
and have an early night on Thursday before the dawn departure for France on
Friday.  And so it was!

Clare called on Wednesday evening to check we were still OK for Friday;
Roger was doing a late clinic but she confirmed there would be four other
couples, two with children already, ourselves and another expecting first
babies and one couple still trying hard, as Clare put it.  She and Roger
would meet us all in Terminal 1 at Birmingham Airport at 5.00am -- right
opposite the Novotel, the concrete carbuncle where Sarah and I had lost our
virginity to each other, on the night of our wedding day!  Roger would go
through the agenda for the weekend after we had all checked in.

Roger and Clare were waiting under the departures board with another couple
when we arrived.  As soon as we had been introduced to Eric and Pamela, I
noticed our favourite policeman approaching!  Derek recognised us
immediately and introduced us to his wife Jane, joking that they were both
off-duty for the weekend.  We were soon joined by John and Alice, Ian and
Ruth, and Sid and Pat.  We were all around the same age.  After we had
checked in for the flight to La Rochelle and gone through security and Roger
found us all a quiet corner in the departures lounge -- not difficult at that
time on a Friday morning -- before going through his planned itinerary.

Check-in to the hotel, a converted 16th Century chateau, time to unpack
before meeting the drug company people over coffee and croissants about
10.30am.  Light lunch at 12.30pm; retire for the men to produce samples by
3pm.  Pat naively asked what the women would be doing!  Sarah whispered to
me that she knew what she would be doing.  Roger suggested we might like to
try out the hotel pool and spa while he took the samples to the hospital
labs.  Dinner would be at eight, in a private room at the hotel.  On
Saturday morning, the women would go on a trip to a nearby perfumery while
the men had what Roger described as an intimate medical examination.  We
would all meet for a light lunch at a small country auberge close to the
hospital, before an afternoon tour of an historic chateau.  Dinner was
arranged at a celebrated, Michelin starred fish restaurant.  On Sunday we
were to be taken on a tour of several local wineries, before dinner back at
the hotel.  Monday was free for shopping or sightseeing but "we may need to
see some of the men back at the clinic for an hour or so", Roger said,
looking directly at Derek and me.  "We need to leave the hotel at 6pm for
the airport.  There will be dinner on the plane.  Oh, and by the way, all
your costs except personal shopping are on the drug company," Roger added.
"I will be giving you each detailed information pack, including an expense
claim form, in a minute.  Are there any questions so far?  You can study the
details during the flight, if there is anything else, just ask.  And
remember , I am off duty so there is no need to use the `proper' words for
your bits and pieces!"

After an uneventful flight, we were met by Gillaume, a jolly man, perhaps a
little older than us, with his fifteen seat luxury minibus.  He worked for
the drug company and undoubtedly he knew the purpose of our trip!  During
the thirty minute journey to the hotel he entertained us with lots of local
information, an obvious enthusiast!  He was to be our driver for the whole
weekend.  The hotel was a magnificent building at the end of a long,
straight, poplar-lined drive and set in superbly kept grounds.  The
enormous, high-ceilinged, wood panelled reception area was beautifully
appointed with huge chandeliers and expensive soft furnishings.  Even the
21st century lifts were hidden in the panelling!  We were allocated to six
adjacent suites on the second floor, reached along a deeply carpeted
corridor lined with French antiques.

Our suite, next to Roger and Clare, was sumptuously furnished.  Being on the
corner of the building, both the lounge and bedroom overlooked the
surrounding parkland to the mountains beyond.  The marble lined bathroom was
enormous, with a huge bath, double basin, toilet and big double shower with
jets from floor to ceiling, looking more like a space capsule!  Of course
there was also a bidet, that item of continental bathroom furniture that was
the butt of so many bad English jokes!  There was even a television set, "In
case of extended occupation!"  Sarah joked.

Back in the bedroom, we tried the huge bed, the most comfortable one I had
ever slept in.  "Plenty of scope for nocturnal activity here," I said,
earning myself another slap but as compensation, Sarah pulled me down on to
the bed and embraced me tightly.  Our lips clamped together , our tongues
darting into each other's mouths, "A true French kiss," Sarah said as we
broke apart.  We quickly unpacked and tidied ourselves up before going to
the lounge for the coffee and croissants.  Ian and Ruth, and Sid and Pat
were already there, marvelling at the accommodation.  The rest of the group
soon joined us.  In true French style, drug company people were late but
when they arrived, Roger introduced us all, and the lead researcher,
Jean-Pierre, gave an excellent, presentation, layman's style in English, of
their work on a new male fertility drug.  The men were to be part of that
research; the women were just here for the ride, he said.  In spite of his
excellent command of English, he did not understand the laughter his
double-entendre provoked.  Roger explained it to him in French; Sarah
giggled at the reply and was immediately noted as the only other French
speaker among the mono-lingual English visitors.

J-P (jay-pay) as he said we should call him, explained that he would need a
fresh sample of semen from each of the men.  "In case there is any small
problems, I `ave some videos that can `elp you."  He handed each man,
including Roger, two DVDs and a small bottle from his briefcase.  "Or maybe
your wives can `elp also, but you must not use any preservatif."  Pat gave
Sid a puzzled look.  Roger explained that the use of condoms would
contaminate the sample, "You will need to wank," he said.  Sarah squeezed my
hand, Pat still looked puzzled.

"Ave you any questions?"  J-P asked.  "Bring the samples to Roger at the
reception for fifteen hours.  He will take them to me, including his own."
This was my first inkling that Roger was a guinea-pig as well as the trip
organiser.

"OK, that's it for now, meet me in the reception area just before three with
your bottles.  Make sure you fill in all the details on the labels.  If
anyone doesn't know his blood group we can sort that out later.  Thank you,
Jean-Pierre, we will all see you at dinner, with your wife."

"Merci, bien.  The English of my wife is not so good but this young lady can
`elp `er," he said, pointing to Sarah.  I have always wondered why the
French find it so difficult to master the English pronunciation of `aitch'!

"D'accors, ma plaisir," Sarah said, "Au revoir, a bientot."

With that we all retired to the hotel bar for our pre-lunch aperitifs,
followed by a splendid hot and cold buffet lunch in the hotel dining room,
with a sumptuous selection of desserts to follow.  After coffee and mints
the party broke up; the men had work to do!

As we entered our suite, Sarah and I simultaneously said "I assume it's time
to test the bed!"  I quickly went to the marble bathroom, relieved my
bladder and cleaned my teeth, returned to the bedroom, stripped naked, threw
back the covers and jumped into the huge bed.  "There's room for four in
here," I said as Sarah undressed and thoughtfully placed my specimen bottle
within reach on the bedside table.  She obviously thought we wouldn't need
the DVDs I had left in the lounge!

"Two's enough, in fact you could do what you have to do without me!"

"But we can do it so much better together," I replied and with that she
joined me in bed.  She rolled onto me, her boobs pressed hard into my chest,
her tongue buried in my mouth.  I rolled from under her, then mounted her
from behind, my prick beginning to anticipate its release from three days of
enforced abstinence.  I rolled onto my back, her body on top of mine, then
rolled her off to lie beside me, her boobs pointing skywards, my cock rising
to the occasion.

After a few moments of rest, I felt her tugging at my prick.  I didn't move,
the tugging turned to a slow stroking action, the hand grasped around my
member was moving from the root to the tip of my now fully engorged cock.  I
lay there for several minutes as the stroking continued along the whole
seven inches, its glans now fully exposed.  I moved my hand towards Sarah's
pubes, slid one finger, then two between her spread eagled legs and then
into her moist lips and found her clitoris.  We paused for a moment; our
lips came together in a brief but passionate kiss.  As we broke apart, I
said, "Carry on, you were doing absolutely fine."  Her hand returned to my
cock.  I made sure the bottle was open and within reach before my fingers
returned to her tunnel of love.  As my balls tightened, I began thrusting
upwards with my hips, in unison with Sarah's stroking.  At the same time, my
hand was soaked with her love juice and I felt my climax becoming
inevitable.  As my other hand reached for the bottle, Sarah took the cue to
ease her grip a little.  I placed its latex covered mouth on the end of my
prick and held it there.  Sarah continued her massage for a few more moments
until I shot six or seven spurts of hot semen right into the bottle.

I quickly capped the bottle, rolled over between Sarah's legs and thrust my
still hard prick into her dripping cunt.  After only three or four tentative
strokes, she climaxed with a scream that must have been heard in the
adjoining suites.  We collapsed in a sweaty heap and lay in each other's
arms as my prick softened and fell from her body before we drifted into
post-coital relaxation.

After a while Sarah said, "So that was our third wank together!  I was so
randy, it must be the very thought of those millions of little wrigglers you
squirt out.  Let me see it."

I passed the bottle to her, "Spunk, just like you shot into me to make our
baby," she said.

"And into Alison to make hers."

"It was what she and Rob wanted, I have no problems with what you did, nor
should you have.  Nor will I worry if should do it again and again if that
is what they want.  Remember, what you are doing this weekend may eventually
help millions of men around the world and their wives."

Sarah was becoming very philosophical; I lightened the note, "I certainly
couldn't cope with millions of women single handed!"

I got a slap across my thighs before she climbed on to me and we lay belly
to belly, chest to chest, mouth to mouth, my legs between hers for some
minutes, drifting towards sleep.

"It's half past two," Sarah said suddenly, "we need a shower before three."

With that she rolled off me, we both rolled out of bed and went to the
bathroom together, naked as the good Lord intended!  I tackled the myriad of
controls in the space-age shower enclosure and was surprised to see Sarah
sitting on the loo, the first time I had ever been allowed to witness her
bodily functions!  She soon moved to the bidet and a look of ecstasy came to
her face as she adjusted the jet of warm water to cleanse her nether
regions, before she joined me in the shower to give my genitals a prolonged
and meticulous wash, long enough to get Percy perking again.  "No time for
that!" she said.

It was five to three by the time we were dried and dressed.  I grabbed my
bottle, checked the label and we went to the reception area to meet Roger.
"Last but not least," he said, "no problems were there?"

"None at all," I replied, "I had a skilled helper."  Sarah gave me a look,
but said nothing.  Pat looked puzzled; I guessed that Sid's offering was
strictly a `do-it-yourself' affair.  Derek and Ian tittered when Roger held
the bottle up and said "There's plenty there, anyway.  Guillaume will take
me to the lab and I'll see you for dinner at eight, if not before," he said
as he put all the samples into a small box.

More or less unanimously, the men decided to go for a swim and the women to
give the spa a try.  Several of the men fell foul of the peculiar French
rules about male swimming attire; only Speedo style costumes ( or budgie
smugglers as the Australians call them!) are allowed in swimming pools. The
pool attendant fixed up a couple of us with loaned ones.  Derek and Ian got
away with wearing their brief underwear.  All was fine while we were
swimming lengths but in the subsequent game of tag, both repeatedly found
their attire around their ankles!  When we decided to retire to the sauna, I
was glad to get my kit out of the `two sizes too small' costume I had been
loaned!

With only the five of us in the sauna and bearing in mind the nature of the
trip, the conversation inevitably turned to sex.  It turned out that myself
and Derek were the expectant fathers, Roger and Ian had babies, and that Sid
and John were still `trying hard'.  Inevitably, as men do, the talk turned
to size, how big dicks don't necessarily get much bigger and little ones can
grow surprisingly big when their owners get excited.  Nobody adduced any
actual evidence for their wild assertions but all five of us claimed six or
seven inches.  Only Ian was `cut', apparently due to problems as a teenager;
`it was bloody painful when I got a hard on' he said.  Derek said that one
of his colleagues had a monster dick, `bigger soft than mine is hard' he
said; apparently police changing rooms afforded little privacy, or else the
guy was a bit of an exhibitionist!  In for a penny, in for a pound, I said
"How many of you enjoy outdoor sex, given fine weather, of course?"  Derek
looked at me and hesitatingly admitted that he did, followed by Ian and
John.  Sid said he would like to try it but that Pat was strictly an "in bed
with the lights out type".

"We love it, given sufficient privacy, of course, we are not
exhibitionists!"  I said.

"Unlike some in Tocil Woods," Derek added, referring to the woods near where
I lived.

"But we were nearly caught at it in Packington Woods by a certain policeman
not six feet away from me now."

Derek looked embarrassed; I don't think that the others knew he was a police
officer.  "You were pretty safe there, I wouldn't have booked you.  We have
just thrown the book at a bunch of guys we caught with their pants down at
Tocil, though; it's pretty public there with all the footpaths.  It is
pretty difficult to make a case against a man and a woman doing it out of
sight of a public right of way.  To be honest, I have had Jane outdoors in
all sorts of places, including our back garden.  In fact, that is probably
where our little `un came to pass, during the hot weather in July, but don't
tell her I said so!"

"Tocil Woods are virtually on my doorstep," I said.  "I often walk to work
that way and there are some things hard to miss -- and too hard to miss, on
occasion!"

John said "My Dad caught me at it with one of the farm worker's daughters in
a barn on the farm when I was only fifteen.  He was NOT happy I can tell
you.  It was the last ever time I got his belt, but I was grounded for a
month.  I had Alice in the office at work once; she started that when she
came to pick me up after I had been overseas for three weeks.  It was just
as well it was after hours!  We are pretty much shagging to a timetable now,
trying get our first bun in the oven, to think of the trouble I went to
before we were married to avoid getting her up the spout ..."

"How about you, Ian?"  Derek asked.

"We've tried it a few times but I can't say I am very taken with outdoor
sex.  Anywhere round the house mind you, that's different!  The most
unlikely place must have been in the loft.  It was the summer we moved in.
I was sweating my bollocks off up there lagging some pipes ready for winter.
Ruth brought me a cold drink up and found me stripped off to my shoes and
socks; that was it.  Me standing up with her legs around my waist, wow ...!
We've done it that way quite often since, the loft position we call it."

Sid was looking embarrassed, "I've been missing out here, I can see.  Pat
won't even stick to our timetable if we are away from home, `somebody might
hear us', she can be a bit noisy, I'll admit."

Derek and John had been `adjusting themselves' during this conversation and
I must admit that my Percy was getting a bit playful.  "Time for a cooling
shower, I think," I said and tried to conceal my prick as I left the sauna.
One by one the others followed before each of us went back to the steam
room, switching between the two for another session several times,
eventually all ending up in the steam room together.

"What do you think will happen in the morning?"  Sid asked nervously.

"I should imagine it will be a complete once-over of our kit, finger up the
bum and all that," I said, "much like we had from initially -- in my case
from Clare."

"Oh, my God!  I couldn't have a woman doing that; I'd probably dump a load
or something."

"Don't worry, Sid, they've seen everything before," Derek said, "Did you
mean a load of shit or spunk?"

"Probably both!"

"Roger's briefing notes mentioned a questionnaire to fill in before the
examination, a full sexual history with multiple choice answers on one side
of A4," I said.

"I am beginning to wish I had never joined," Sid said.  "I have no idea what
Pat will say about it."

"She's not the one having a finger up her ass; so don't worry about it,
Sid."  Derek was trying without obvious success to calm Sid down a bit.

"She never gets a finger up anywhere else if she can avoid it either.  It s
usually just a quick cuddle, I  fiddle about for a while, she plays with my
dick a bit to get it hard, then tells me when to stuff it in, jerk about a
bit, shoot my load, pull it out and go to sleep."

"Really, Sid, you shouldn't worry," I said, not really believing it.
"You'll be fine.  By the time Roger has finished with you, Pat will be
pregnant in no time."

The girls had sent the pool attendant in "I am Jaques.  Your women is
wondering where you `ave gone," he said.  "It is time to get the dinner
dress."  We took that as a cue to get showered and dressed, I told him to
say we would be out in ten minutes.

A couple of minutes later, he came back, and finding five naked Englishmen
in the showers, he was stroking his crotch as he said "The womans `ave going
to the chambers.  I am liking very much to see the English bollocks and
pricks."  There was a noticeable bulge in his trousers.

Derek said, "Show us your French prick then."

"Non, non, it is not good, trop petite."

"Tu regarde cinq pénis anglais et nos boules, nous voulons voir le vôtre," I
said and stepped towards him, my hands reaching for his waistband.  He
stepped back and as he pulled his zip down, his prick sprang out, six inches
I guessed.  The other four applauded, Sid somewhat weakly.  The attendant
dropped his trousers, revealing a lack of underwear and low slung balls
below his shaven pubes.  He was a roundhead, going commando.

"Six pouces, quinze centimètres, commando allant, aucuns cheveux et circonci
aussi.  Avez-vous amie ou est-ce qu'ami, je me demande?"

"J'ai ami, je suis gai."

"Nous sommes des hommes du monde, celui n'est pas de problem!"

I reached for his outstretched prick, shook hands with it and let it go, as
did all the others in turn, Sid was clearly rising to the occasion.  Jaques
took the cue and `shook hands' with Sid.

"Jacques, ne s'inquiètent pas, nous sommes ici pour voir, nous sommes ici
entendre, nous sommes ici pour jouer.  Nous ne dirons rien, particulièrement
au sujet de ce que nous ne comprenons pas" I said.

"Merci monsieur.  C'est juste jeu entre les amis, je ne suis pas offensé ou
ne suis pas inquiété.  Appréciez votre sejour avec nous!" Jaques replied.

The others were clearly becoming envious of my French, poor as it was, so I
gave them a quick précis of my exchanges with Jaques.

When he had gone and we were all getting dressed, Sid said "You have
probably guessed by now that I am pretty ambivalent about sex.  I can take
it or leave it, with a man or woman.  In reality I feel more comfortable
with men, there seems to be less commitment, not that I have had a lot of
experience.  Pat feels pretty much the same way, she is more at home with a
woman, but we do so desperately want children, our own children, even if we
are no good at the mechanics of sex.  We have never been able to talk, even
to our best friends about it."

 He was clearly so relieved to be able to tell someone, indeed all of us,
about their predicament and we were so taken aback at the manner of his
outing, that no-one spoke for what seemed like hours.  Finally Derek spoke,
"Sid, first of all, I am sure I speak for us all when I say that we may not
understand your feelings nor have experienced them but I am sure they are
sincere.  Roger has said several times that he is `off-duty' this weekend,
like I never am.  Take the opportunity to talk to him frankly about your
feelings.  Nick told Jaques that we were here to see and to hear but not to
tell and we may not understand.  As a doctor it is Roger's duty, as a police
officer, it is mine, to observe, listen and try to understand.  Talk to him,
he will understand and he will do his level best for you, I am sure of
that."

"Sid," I said, "Derek has expressed my views exactly.  Roger is a kind
understanding man; we are all men of the world, we accept others for what
they are.  Enjoy your evening, talk to Roger tomorrow, I am pretty sure the
interview will bring out your feelings anyway, and let him help both of
you."

John and Ian were taken aback by all this, but both told Sid that it was
good that he had been able to talk to us.  "You managed to talk to us a
strangers about your problems; think of us now as your friends.  As Nick
said, we will listen even if we do not understand," Ian said.

"A problem shared, is a problem halved, in this case divided by five," John
said.  You should feel  free to talk to me about it anytime."

"Me too," we all said simultaneously.

Sid was close to tears, but shook our hands warmly as he struggled to find
the words to thank us.

"To the bar!"  Derek said.  The drinks are on me, or at least on my expense
form!