Date: Mon, 19 Sep 2011 13:52:17 -0700 (PDT)
From: Arthur Arthor <creativewriting303@yahoo.com>
Subject: Why I Am As I Am.

This story is a fictionalized account of what was told to me by a coworker
one evening over cocktails after he had had one too many.  It is only
slightly embellished to make it more interesting and told here without the
slurred speech.

WHY I AM AS I AM.

One of my first memories was the trauma I received in the fifth year of
life at the hands of a seven year old female cousin.  My father's brother
and his family were visiting on a holiday and were spending the night with
us.  We only had two bedrooms, so the parents were accommodated in those
two rooms and all the children, myself and their four - three girls and a
boy - slept on the sofa and sleeping mats in the family room.  One of the
girls, Sheila, was seven years old and the oldest of these cousins.  Sheila
and I, being the oldest, were assigned the sofa and the younger children
the sleeping mats.  In the evening the adults were having cocktails on the
patio as we children played in the yard.  At sunset they told us to get
ready for bed.  My uncle's wife told Sheila to see to the younger
children's needs and then she and I could watch TV for one hour.

She took the younger children to the bathroom, put them in the bathtub, and
gave them a quick bath.  She dressed them in sleeping clothes, put them on
the sleeping mats, kissed them good night, and turned off the lights.  She
then took my hand and led me to the bathroom and told me that we would take
a bath together.  I thought nothing of this as being out of the ordinary
until we removed or clothing.  I guess I had seen naked girls before but
this was the first time I was aware of their being a difference.  My eyes
became as big as saucers and my mouth was agape as I looked at her crotch.
I looked down at my little willie and then at her willieless crotch and was
amazed.  I asked her what had happened to her willie and she told me that
only a boy had a willie and that a girl had a pussy and she was a girl and
I was a boy.  I asked her how she pissed and she showed me by sitting on
the toilet and emptying her bladder.  I watched in amazement.

She then told me the most outrageous thing.  She told me that a boy could
stick his willie into a pussy and it would feel good for both the girl and
the boy.  I did not understand how that could be.  She took my hand and
told me to extend my index finger which she guided and placed within her
pussy and told me to wiggle my finger as she slowly retracted part way
before ramming it in again.  She did this several times and told me that
that felt good.  I giggled but it was out of fear and not pleasure.

She then took hold of my diminutive willie and rubbed it between her
fingers and ask me how it felt.  I told her to stop and she did.  She told
me that she would show me more when we went to bed.  We bathed together and
when we were finished she started to dry me off but I grabbed the towel and
finished drying myself before donning my nightshirt.

We went to the patio to say good night to our parents.  They were fairly
well snookered and I was surprised to see my father was sitting with his
brother's wife, with his arm around her shoulder, and her hand between his
legs rubbing his inner thigh.  My mother and uncle were standing.  Her
skirt was pulled up between them and they were rocking back and forth as if
dancing to an unseen and unheard orchestra.

Sheila grabbed my arm and pulled me back inside and shushed me; telling me
to be quiet and not to wake the sleeping children.

What I'd seen on the patio was meaningless to my naive mind but, from
Sheila's reaction, I knew there was something odd going on.

The sofa had a pillow at each end; Sheila was to sleep at one end and I at
the other.  However, after I placed my head on the pillow and pulled my
blanket over myself, Sheila told me to move over to make room for her
beside me.  I was fearful of what she had on her mind after my experience
with her in the bathroom.  But I scooted over in spite of my better
judgment.

She giggled and kissed me on the lips.  At the same time she lifted my
nightshirt and started rubbing my willie.  I set upright, removed her hand,
and wiped my mouth with my arm and hand.  I wanted to yell but I whispered
in desperation and asked her what she was doing.

She told me that she wanted to make me feel good.  I told her that I felt
fine but she told me that she could make me feel better and pushed me back
down on the pillow.  She told me she wanted me to stick my willie inside
her pussy and she returned to massage my little limp noodle.  I told her
that it hurt and to stop.

She told me that it might be too small for what she had in mind and that
she could not tell until she got it hard and that, if she rubbed it the
right way, it would get hard and longer.  She returned her hand to my
willie and very gingerly rubbed the underside with the tips of her fingers.
She asked me whether that felt good or not.  I was almost in tears and told
her that I did not like what she was doing.

She then exclaimed that she knew a better way to make it feel good and get
it hard.  I was scared out of my mind.  I liked it like it was.  Why would
I want to get it hard?  She placed a hand on my chest and scooted down
where her head was over my willie and preceded to take it into her mouth.
I was thunderstruck!  I was never so scared as I was at that moment when I
realized that she was going to bite off my willie and turn me into a girl!

I pushed her hand off of my chest, again bolted upright, and pushed her
with my feet off of the sofa.  I ran to the patio door, slid it open, ran
to my father who was still in an embrace with his sister-in-law and told
him that Sheila was going to bite off my willie.  Whereupon her mother
laughed and said that I was one lucky boy.  I did not know what surreal
meant, but I knew what surreal was.  This was surreal.  How could I be a
lucky boy without a willie?  I must be asleep and this must be a nightmare,
I thought.

She called out to Sheila, told her to stop messing with me, and told me
that I could go back to bed.  My father just laughed and said nothing.
Thinking back on it, I don't think that he even heard me because he was so
focused on his own lust at that moment.

Sheila was at her end of the sofa and frowned at me when I returned.  I
crawled onto the sofa and curled up into the fetal position to protect
myself from any possible further attacks from the vampiress at the other
end of the sofa.

They left the next morning and nothing was ever said to me or from me about
that night.  It was, however, the subject of many nightmares for quite some
time.  Occasionally, even now, I awaken yelling for Sheila to stop doing
that.

When I was eight years old, we drove twelve hours to a family reunion for
my mother's side of the family.  My mother was one of twelve children - she
being the oldest.  Therefore her younger siblings were not much older than
myself.  My mother's youngest brother was fifteen and it seems strange to
call him Uncle Billy.

There were a great many new faces and I enjoyed the feeling of belonging to
this extended family.

After our picnic lunch, Uncle Billy ask me to help him with one of his
chores.  He needed to haul hay to the far pasture to feed the livestock
that were there.

I was eager to go as I'd never been on a tractor before and I relished his
attention.  We went to the barn and he hitched the tractor to a utility
trailer loaded with one gigantic roll of hay.  He took a seat on the
tractor and I jumped on the trailer with the hay.  He told me that that's
not safe and that I would ride seated on his lap.  I jumped down and went
to where he could lift me up to sit on his lap.  He told me to hold the
steering wheel as he started the tractor.  It seemed like great fun to be
able to guide this massive machine through the field.

Uncle Billy had his arms around my waist and I was oblivious to what he was
doing until his hand slipped into the fly of my pants.  I did not realize
that he had even unzipped me and now he was groping my willie.

Stunned, I turn my head and asked him what he was doing.  He said that, if
I wanted to continue driving the tractor, I should let him have some fun,
too.  I was enjoying what I was doing and I felt safe with Uncle Billy.  By
the time we reached the pasture, my willie was as hard as a rock and I was
having feelings that I had never experienced, and I was disappointed when
Uncle Billy removed his hand and took over the steering as he guided the
tractor to a high spot where he stopped.

He pulled me tight against his chest and kissed my neck.  That felt good.
I don't know why, but it felt so good.  He asked me whether I enjoyed the
trip.  I was speechless and just nodded my head up and down as he lowered
me to the ground.

He then jumped on the trailer, unhitched some straps, and preceded to give
the load a push.  The large roll rolled down the hill and, like the
opposite of the snowball, it deposited hay on its way, becoming smaller in
the process.  Soon there were cattle gathering along the path munching away
in contentment.

Uncle Billy again took his seat on the tractor and reached for my hand for
me to join him.  I smiled and after I was seated I took his hand and
replaced it within my pants.  He said something like, "Attaboy!"

He drove the tractor to the far side of the field and stopped next to a
pine thicket.  He lowered me to the ground and guided me into the thicket
where he preceded to unbuckle my belt and pulled down my pants and
underpants to my ankles.  He told me to lean against one of the saplings as
he kneeled and took my willie into his mouth.  This brought back memories
of Sheila; and I asked him to please not bite it off.  He laughed and said
he wouldn't as long as I promised not to bite his off when it was my turn.

He once again engulfed my willie with his hot, wet, and talented mouth.
Every nerve in my body was tingling and my emotions were roiling in
ecstasy.  I thought that I could not taken it any longer and was about to
ask him to stop when I realized that that was the last thing I wanted.

I also realized that some of the pleasure which I was experiencing was
coming from his hands as he massaged my balls ever so gently and run his
fingertips between my legs as his tongue swirled over my willie and his
head bobbed back and forth until my knees buckled and I grabbed his head
and bucked my hips - thrusting my willie hard into his mouth.  My eyes
closed and I melted over Uncle Billy's shoulder.  He continued sucking on
my willie for several minutes.

I stood upright, opened my eyes and looked into a smiling face.  He asked
me how I liked it.  I told him how great it was and that I had never felt
anything like that in my life.  I asked him to do it again.  To which he
suggested that we sit down in the pine needles and continue our play.

He asked me whether that was the first time that I had my willie played
with.  I told him that I only knew how to pee with it and that I never knew
it could be like that.  I told him that I had awakened sometimes with it
hard, but I thought there was something wrong with it.  He told me that
that was when it was right and not wrong.  He said that he guessed I had
never beat my meat before.  I asked him what he meant by that.  He then
lowered his pants and took his hard willie in his hand and proceeded to
masturbate himself.  His rhythm was frenetic; his eyes closed, and he
moaned.  My eyes were transfixed on what he was doing and my hand reached
out to touch the tip of his willie.  He opened his eyes and took my hand in
his and placed it on his rigid shaft and told me to continue what he had
been doing.  With my other hand I pressed my own little willie and massaged
it back to life and tried to pleasure myself at the same time.

After several minutes he stopped me and told me to lick his willie.  I
leaned forward and lowered my head as he pointed his willie for best
advantage.  I was nervous but did as he asks.  He then placed his hand on
the back of my head and told me to open my mouth as he slowly pushed my
head down onto his awaiting pole of passion.  He told me to do what he had
done to me and to be sure my teeth were covered with my lips and not to
bite him as I had promised.  I tasted his flash and was immediately sure
that this was going to be pleasurable.  I inhaled the scent from his sweaty
crotch and something in the primitive part of my brain kicked in - from the
medulla oblongata or wherever the libado resides.  I was suddenly an animal
seeking to fulfill some innate desire; some primal lust took over me.  I
licked and sucked Uncle Billie's willie in an attempt to pleasure myself as
well as Uncle Billy.

He had both hands on my head and was running his fingers through my hair as
he moaned and told me what a good job I was doing.  He bucked his hips
upwards repeatedly for several minutes before telling me to stop because he
was about 'there'.  I asked him where 'there' was.  To which he said that
'there' was here!  As he took his willie in hand and finished the act with
just a couple of strokes.

I was dazzled to see his willie expel several streams of fluid into the air
which landing on his chest and tummy then a couple of more short burst
landed on his hand and in his pubic hair.  He raised his hand in his mouth
and licked it clean.  He then ran a finger through the fluid on his chest
and tummy and asked me whether I wanted a taste.  He smiled and told me to
go ahead because it was good.  He raised his finger to my mouth and I
looked at it and smelled it.  Again that primitive part of my brain took
pleasure at the prospect of tasting this ancient sacrament.  I cleaned his
finger by sucking it into my mouth.  I rolled the viscous fluid around my
mouth with my tongue and swallowed it.

He asked me whether or not I liked it.  I leaned forward and licked the
remainder of his offering from his chest and tummy.  He giggled when I
sucked what had pooled in his navel with my tongue.  He said that he
assumed that I did like it.

I asked him what it was and he told me that it was a mixture of semen and
sperm which a man makes within his body to make babies or a tasty snack;
depending on your desires when you produce it.  He told me that he thought
it was too good to waste on making babies.  He told me that a few years I
would be able to make my own.

He then reached over and rubbed my willie and told me to sit on his lap and
lean back against his chest.  He then instructed me in the manly art of
masturbation by reaching around my waist and taking my willie between his
thumb and two fingers and stroking it up and down.  He did not have to tell
me but he did tell me that that felt good.  After a minute of this he told
me to do it myself as he had shown me.  I did and he continued to coach me.
Within several minutes I was again feeling the pleasure of pleasures and I
thought that my hand would surely fall off my wrist because I was going so
fast.

I did this for several minutes and Uncle Billy must have been enjoying my
gyrations because his willie was soon nestled between my thighs and I could
feel it throbbing as it pressed against my tiny balls.  He was also
nuzzling my neck and licking behind my ear.  I could hear him moaning
almost as much as I was moaning.

After the rockets went off in my loins, I threw my arms to my sides and
told Uncle Billy that I really liked that.  He told me that he was glad
that he was able to introduce me to what would be my favorite toy.

We rested for several minutes and I dozed off for I don't know how long.
Uncle Billy finally shook me and told me to stand up and turn around.  My
crotch was even with his mouth and he grasped my butt cheeks in both hands
and pulling me forward as he again took my willie into his mouth.  He
bobbed his head several times pausing to flick his tongue over and around
my glans.  He went slower this time and it taught me that there was more
than one way to administer to our animal selves.  He stopped several times
to lick my balls before continuing his masterful skills of what I would
learn was cock sucking.

Since that day I have been a cock sucker, or queer, if you prefer that
designation.  I don't consider myself gay, as I believe that gays are born
that way.  I was inverted by being sexualized at age eight by my uncle.
Cock sucking was imprinted in my pleasure centers and I followed that
desire just as a newborn chick follows the first life form it sees after it
hatches from the egg.  I am the duck that follows the cat around the farm
because I think the cat is my parent.  Sheila did not help matters by
sexually assaulting me when I was five - although I was unaware that it was
meant to be sexual at that time; it just gave me an aversion to the female
sex.  Were the instances reversed, I would likely be a lothario today
instead of what I am.

I do, however, consider myself to be a moral person with standards, as I do
not take advantage of anyone nor do I engage in any sex act with anyone
that has not reached his majority.  Now, how old did you say you were?


Fini.



If you enjoyed this story you may like to read -

www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/adult-youth/mike-and-david

www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/adult-friends/meeting-jeff

www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/young-friends/simon-and-william

www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/young-friends/an-old-man-remembers

www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/beginnings/lumbago