From: sound <nothing@nothing.nothing>
Newsgroups: alt.sex.masturbation
Subject: Masturbation testimony, or something like that.  This is a long one. :)
Date: Sun, 07 Jul 1996 02:44:12 -0700
Organization: Earthlink Network, Inc.

Hello there, my name is, hmmmm, lets leave that anonymous, you 
can call me Sound. And of course not, nothing@nothing.nothing is not my 
email address, you can try sending to it if you like.  But who know's 
what kinda people might be able to find out about me if I gave my email 
address. It's possible I guess. :)

	Lets start out in the beginning.  I was born 23 years ago.  OK, 
enuff of that, lets jump up 11 years.  When I was 11, that is when I 
remember my first real hard on because of looking at a girls' body.  
Just like almost all other kids, it happened at the recreation center 
pool.  I was just swimming allong and watched my neighbor walk by.  She 
was something like in her twenties probably.  Wearing a bikini, and I 
could just barely see a couple bristles of black hair poking out of her 
bikini botoms at her crotch.  Of course I was at the perfect angle, I 
was looking up from in the water, so her breasts poked out like two Mt. 
Everests it seemed to me.  I just fell in love on the spot w/ the female 
body.  I don't even remember what her face looked like, all I loved was 
the body.  Anyways, there I was holding onto the drain gutter that 
surrounded the inner edge all around the pool up against the wall of the 
pool, and I felt a little tightening of my dick.  I had hard-ons before, 
but they weren't really much, just a little hardness and then plop, 
nothing more.  But this time it had sprouted and was staying stiff.  I 
didn't know what to do, so I just scanned the pool, saw no one really 
looking at me, and I just reached down into my trunks and started 
jerking off on the spot, looking back up at the neighbor.  I think she 
looked down and that's what made her start walking further allong down 
the pool, I don't know, cause I was just staring at her crotch.  As she 
walked away I watched for a little bit as her bikini bottoms wrinkled 
just a little bit up her ass crack.  Then all of a sudden that wonderful 
feeling I know today as an orgasm came and went.  Well, I guess it 
wasn't quite as strong a feeling, I don't even remember any sperm or 
anything spurting out, so I guess it was just an early sexual 
experience.  Anyways, that was the day, I changed.  I now knew that a 
womans' body was the best thing made for man.  And ever since then the 
female body has been my temple of worship.

	Ok, that was the start.  The next couple years didn't stand out 
too much to me, they just went by.  But when I was 14, I remember my 
first real orgasm with some semen and sperm to have to do something 
with.  Right after I turned 14, I started looking at the closest woman, 
well girl body, to me: my sisters'.  I never really thought about my 
sister as one of my adored female bodies of worship, but she was just 
starting to mature, and I started seeing her in a new light.  She was 
almost 2 years younger than me, so she was allready 12.  I was at home, 
trying to do some math homework.  I heard my sister come up the stairs 
to go to her room, and as she walked by my door, I called out to her.
	"Hey, sis!"
	"What, hurry up I want to watch TV."
	She walked into my room, and she had just a plain blue shirt, 
and red shorts on.  Nothing spectacular, but it somehow had an effect on 
my dick.  It might have just been because I was laying on my stomach on 
my bed so it was pushed down on the bed, but when she walked in I 
started getting hard.  I couldn't believe this, and I kinda was stumped. 
 This is my sister, this is my penis, it's getting hard after she 
appeared, hmmmmm what does this mean?  I like her? no, she's my sister. 
 She's sexy?  Well yeah, but just a girl starting to mature.  I couldn't 
figure it out just then, it took me lots of years just to come up with 
an adequate sort of explanation, but back to the room.  My dick was 
getting hard, but I was laying on my stomach so it didn't matter, so I 
went ahead and asked her;
	"I don't understand what they want to know for this question.  
You proabably don't know, but since you're here, do you want to see if 
you do know?"
	"Yeah, suuuuurree, I'm 2 years younger than you and you expect 
me to know math from your grade?  I'll look, but I won't understand any 
of it."
	She walked to the bed, and I started getting scared that I'd 
have to move and get up.  But I didn't end up having to, luckily.  Cause 
when she got near the bed I handed her my mathbook, and looked up from 
my bed.  I didn't see anything, but I could see up a little bit under 
her shorts.  It was intoxicating seeing some parts of her legs up high, 
and even though I couldn't see any panty, the imagination was enuff.  My 
dick was as hard as it could be, and almost was hurting from laying on 
it now.  She just dropped the book back down, and said
	"I have no idea.  Ask mom or dad."
	And then she walked out of the room.  I turned over right then 
and pulled the front of my pants down and jerked off.  After a couple 
minutes, I tensed and shot a couple spurts of sperm onto my shirt.  I 
got up and took the shirt off and then heard my sister say
	"Mom is downstairs and calling for you."
	I just went numb, all I could think off is that my dick was just 
sticking out there in plain view of my sister.  But as I looked down I 
was happy to see I had pulled my pant front up after I had the orgasm.  
After thinking about it now, though, I've fantasized about many 
different events which could've happened at that time, but nothing else 
happened.  She told me about mom calling, and then left.  I just 
crumpled up the shirt and put it in the dirty clothes pile and then went 
and asked my mom about the homework problem.  And that was the start of 
my masturbation career.  For the next 5 or 6 years I think I masturbated 
atleast once a day, and on a few I would try to set records on how many 
times I could do it in one day and I'd allways try to beat my last 
record.  It seems like the masturbation has gotten better with every 
day.  And practically every time, my sister was in my mind receiving 
pleasure from it.  At times I felt guilty that I wasn't going out on 
dates and stuff, and just masturbating away thinking about my sister.  
Of course I did think about the Playboy models, and Sports Illustrated 
women, and movie stars, but my sister was allways on my mind.  At 
school, my friends would talk about their girlfriends and what they have 
been doing, but I just tried to not have to tell anything.  So I just 
continued on my masturbation schedule, and just tried to fit in with my 
friends.  And it never became a problem.  Girls at school were mad at me 
cause I never asked any out on dates, and when they asked me out, I 
ussually just came up with an excuse and talked my way out of having to 
go out with anyone.  I figured, I can make myself happy with my own 
hand, why worry about having to talk and say the right stuff to someone 
else, and worry about them too.  I was happy, they were mad because I 
didn't do anything with them, but they'd just move on and be someonelses 
girlfriend anyways.  
	I usually slept in the nude once I turned 17 or so, cause it 
felt better than wearing something to bed, and it made it easier to play 
with my dick.  What made it crazily fun for me was I started to do it so 
much, I started doing it just to see if I could masturbate and keep from 
getting caught.  Many times, I'd have my sister almost catch me, cause 
she seemed to not talk until she could see the person she was talking 
to.  I'm not sure if she ever caught me jerkin away, I've never asked.  
My parents always called out before they ever reached any visual range, 
so I know they never caught me.  
	What started to be even more fun, was when I started trying to 
let my sister catch views of me.  I'm not even sure if she's seen 
anything.  When I heard that she was coming down the stairs in the 
morning, to wake me up, or use my computer or watch my TV or something, 
I would act like I was asleep, and ruffle the sheets over me a bit to 
try to barely reveal my dick.  Sometimes it was hard, and laying back on 
my stomach or to the side, but usually it was just not quite hard so it 
would be swayed to a side.  But I would move the sheets just a little to 
maybe have it in sight.  I would just lay there fantasizing about her 
seeing it, and just grabing it and sucking away, or striping and jumping 
on the bed without warning.  I would just lay there with my eyes just 
barely shut, hoping she'd see something and like it.  Nothing has ever 
happened, and I don't know if she ever has seen it.  I guess I need to 
make it a little more viewable.  But after she'd leave the room, I knew 
it was an instant jerk off and away I would go pounding.
	I'm starting to wonder what the fuck is wrong with me now, cause 
now all I can do is get pictures off of newsgroups, and WWW pages, or 
buy CD's, and buy some XXX movies.  And all I do is pound away, 
eventually having to clean-up the jism I spurt out.  I feel real guilty 
because I don't know why.  I don't know if it's because I'm jerking off 
and not having sex.  (ohh, now I'm 23 years old and still a virgin).  or 
what.  But, I sure like masturbating.  I love getting my dick hard and 
trying to keep it hard for as long as I can.  I still do it almost once 
daily.  And sometimes I like going a couple days without doing it, 
because it makes the next time unbelievably better.  
	What drives me crazy is everyone I know around me, wonders why I 
have no girlfriend and don't do more things socially.  I have no good 
explanation, but I have my personal reasons set in my mind.  I don't 
really like talking to people.  I like being alone.  If I had a 
girlfriend, I'd have to worry about her, her feelings, everything is 
just too hard once you bring in another person into the picture.  I like 
it alone.  Now I do have a feeling that if I ever do insert my dick into 
an actual woman, my mind will probably change and I'll be mad I havn't 
been having sex w/ a woman all this time.  But, I don't mind it right 
now.  I look at all the problems with relationships in the world and 
just think, well, my hand isn't a pain to get allong with at all, and it 
doesn't talk back to me, or require money, or entertainment.  Whenever I 
want sex, I just find a good spot, and jerk away, and it doesn't care 
what I look like, or what I say to it.
	

	So, anyone out there think I'm a prime candidate for a 
psychiatrist?  Yep, probably. :)

If you're reading this all the way down here at the bottom, wow, I'm 
impressed.  You may even be like me, nothing better to do?  hmm?  That's 
amazing you read all the way down to here.  Well, congratulations on 
wasting however long it took you to read to this far.  Just sit back and 
laugh at me, cause I spent probably 20 times as much time writing it.  
Can you believe that?  nahh, me neither, but who cares.  I have nothing 
else I want to do, so I typed away.  Anyways, I guess thanks for 
reading.  Hope you're entertained by it somehow.