Date: Sat, 13 Apr 2002 20:25:53 -0700
From: bawdy pen <bawdypen@hotmail.com>
Subject: Submission: ROVING REPORTER #5 (scat)

		  ROVING REPORTER--Part 5

NEXT WEEK
   We've become as fascinated with this family just as
much as our public has. We followed 'The Master' of the
family, Henry, to his office one day. We caught him first
on the elevator up to his floor.
   "Morning, Henry."
   "Uuh, mornin' Frank."
   "Hmm, up late? You look like you really got your ashes
hauled royally," he laughed, remembering the TV show, but
not sure that Henry was aware of it--like the announcer had
said.
   "Hunh? Oh, something like that." Henry was really
feeling under the weather from lack of sleep. After getting
his ass plugged by Armando, he was so turned on he later
demanded turds from both Nina and Hugh!
   Frank had to fart. Normally, he'd have held it back
until he was alone. Instead, he freely let loose with a
loud one! He turned to Henry and smiled. "Sorry...but then
you don't mind, do you?"
   Taken aback, Henry just shrugged. "When you gotta, you
gotta." He smelled the man's gaseous odors. He wasn't as
repulsed as most men would be, but he certainly wasn't in
the mood for being turned on by it. He had a headache.
Still, he wondered at the man's strange remark about him
not minding!
   Coming out of the elevator, he bumped into the mailroom
boy.
   "Uh, good morning, Mr. Robinson." He blushed, then
added, "when are you going to bring your son into the
office? I sure would like to meet HIM!"
   Henry was about to ask how he even knew he had a son,
when the boy moved on.
   "Well, good morning, Sir!" his receptionist gave him a
seductively warm greeting.
   "Uh, morning Alice. Any messages?"
   "Scads of them! But...they're rather suggestive. Some
are downright dirty and nasty. But I want you to know..."
   "Dirty and nasty! What on earth are you talking about?
Let me see."
   Henry picked up the message slips. Most were unsigned
and some were sealed, having been hand delivered.
   "You've got balls!"..."That was the most disgusting
performance I've ever witnessed in my life--keep it up!"...
"PERVERT!"..."Sickening! You child molestor!"..."Hey, have
I got something for you!--Jenks in Maintenance."
   "What the hell is this!" he thumbed through a few more.
   "Well, I guess it's about..."
   "Henry! I'd like to see you for a moment in my office
please."
   "Sure, Jim. Be right there."
   "Alice, see if you can find out what this is all
about."
   "I suppose..." But Henry had already walked away and
was entering Jim's office.
   "Henry, I'm all for the First Amendment and all that
crap, but this is getting out of hand. We must think of the
company. Oh, I forgot. You don't even know what I'm talking
about, do you? They said on the television that you weren't
aware. Here, I have a tape of last night's show. Better
pull up a chair!"
   Jim put the cassette in. It was right at the spot where
Hugh was saying how much he liked the taste of his dad's
poop. "HOLY SHIT!" Henry cried. "What'd they do, bug my
home?"
   "Some kind of a flying camera, they say. Some little
thing. I've been told there were several shows. My God,
Henry. I've always known you were a horny sonofabitch,
but...EATING TURDS?!!"
   "No...not that too!" Henry said, swinging his hand at a
pesky fly!! "Jim? Why are you taking off your pants?"
   Unfortunately, that pesky fly was our Bugcam. He
swatted it and put it out of commission for a while. Sure
be glad when we get to try out the new prototype. I
understand it's much sturdier and able to withstand some
rough treatment. When we came back on-line, Henry was
sitting in his office going over the messages. We have no
idea what took place, if anything, in Jim's office. Anyway,
Henry sat there flapping one of the notes around, studying
it curiously. Snooping over his shoulder, we can see it's
the one from 'Jenks--in Maintenance.' Standing, and
chugging at his crotch, Henry heads out and goes straight
for the elevator. We cringed right here, just as the Bugcam
slipped past the doors before being squished! We cut to
Henry's encounter.
   "You, uh, Jenks?"
   "Hey, Mr. R. Got muh note, hunh?"
   "Yeah...what'd you have in mind?"
   "Figured it was a shot in the dark, but what the hell.
Guy as hungry as you...you never know."
   "So, um, w-what's up?"
   "Lissssen," he lowered his voice and took Henry by the
arm, leading him back into a secluded section of the
basement, "you don't gotta be coy with me. I seen all your
shows. You interested? I can drop my pants right here,
or...maybe you'd rather come over to my place later?"
   Henry looked the guy over. Jenks was in his late 20's,
a bit rough around the edges, but not all that unattrac-
tive. He tried to catch a peek at the guy's rump.
   Chuckling, Jenks turned sideways. "Wanna check out the
package first, hunh? Go ahead, give it a feel!"
   Henry reached out and felt the guy's butt. It was nice
and firm inside his baggy Levi's, and Henry gave it some
good, squishy gropes. "Hmmm. How come you wanna do this?"
   "I ain't so sure. All I know is seein' you munchin' the
crud outta your kid's rearend gives me a bone-on each time
I look at it!"
   "Each time?"
   "Sure, I got those shows on tape, man. Jack off
watchin' you and your family go at it! Here, let me drop
these pants so you can touch me naked back there."
   "Uh, anybody gonna come around?" Henry asked,
nervously, pleased at the man's smooth bottom as the pants
dropped to his ankles.
   "Nah. They're all busy for the next two hours. Hey,
wouldja suck my hole for me? Nobody ever did that before."
   Henry was rapidly getting turned on full force. He
dragged his finger up the guy's crack and took it to his
nose. "Mmmm, smells good! Yeah, lean up against the wall,
man...I'll suck your asshole!" Henry crouched down behind
and spread the cheeks open. He took a quick, appreciative
look, then scooched his nose up the crack to get a good
whiff. The excitement was tremendous! It was one thing to
have a snooty butler that kept his crack soiled just for
his benefit. It was another to come across a horny working
slob that had a naturally sweaty, aromatic crack. Henry'd
sniff at it, pull back to take a look, then go back in for
more. He rubbed his nose right in there.
   "Hey, you like that Mr. R? I sure hope so!"
   "Spread your legs some more, Jenks. Let me pull your
luscious hole right back to my mouth. I could smell it all
day, but I gotta lick that tasty sweat from your crack!"
   Jenks kicked one of his feet from his pants so he could
spread apart. "Oh, yeah, smell and lick all you want, guy.
Open me up and I'll give you a nice one. I'll shit in your
face...in your mouth...hell, I'll even shit in your sock if
you want so you can take it home!"
   Henry scarfed at the hole, lapping up the delicious
cheesy flavor of Jenks' spicy anus. He wet a finger and
slipped it up the canal. Jenks flinched, then relaxed as
the digit began to probe inside. Henry pulled the greasy
finger out and licked it, then he shoved it back inside
about halfway, twirling it around in circles, getting him
loosened up. "Mmmm, that ain't half bad, Mr. R, havin' you
play around in there!"
   "I can feel your turd, Jenks. I'm running my finger all
over it." He pulled it out again and surveyed the dirty,
brown end of his finger. He slowly took a taste of it.
"Mmmm. Delightful! Push a bit. Just enough to force your
anus apart and let it stick outside a ways. I love to lick
a fresh turd-end and the skin around it!"
   Jenks pressed his hands against the wall harder and
quietly grunted to give the man a peek and something to
lick at. When about an inch was poking out, Henry told him
to hold it right there. Spreading the cheeks apart, he
wormed his long tongue all up and over the protruding shit
and tickled the anal lips. Then he ducked it down and
around and licked all over the underneath. Putting his
mouth over the turd, he spread the anus apart somewhat,
involuntarily causing another inch to slide out. With nasty
wet noises, Henry lewdly sucked on the man's fat turd!
   Feeling the lips working frantically, knowing they were
perfectly attached to his hole, Jenks couldn't resist the
urge. He took a deep breath, and doubled over--shitting his
turd straight into Henry's mouth! It was a fantastic
feeling--taking a shit right in a guy's mouth! He knew he
was catching Henry by surprise, but he figured the guy
probably liked having a fat turd shoved down his throat!
That's why he was here, wasn't? His cock, which had always
been half-hard, instantly sprung up into a hefty, rigid
shaft.
   Henry was nearly knocked over, but held his ground.
Once the turd hit the back of his mouth, he pulled back
slightly, then applied what pressure he could to stop the
shitting in its tracks. He nearly came in his pants at the
sudden sensation of having the contents of the man's rectum
nearly empty into his mouth. Having that hot turd violently
shoot into his mouth had been such a wild, lascivious
feeling! He pulled back about halfway and licked what he
could while studying the brown column still stuck up the
man's asshole.
   Jenks tried to look back over his shoulder, and was
able to catch a little glimpse of Henry with his mouth
stuffed with the turd. He wished to hell he had a mirror!
Damn, what a sight that would have been!
   Reaching up to cradle the turd in his hand, Henry
slipped his mouth off and quickly licked along it up to the
hole. There, he fluttered his tongue around while Jenks
shit out the rest of it. Carefully holding it aside, Henry
immediately shoved his tongue up the guy's asshole and
licked it out. He could tell that Jenks was excitedly
pounding his meat and decided he wanted the man's cream.
   "OK, guy. Turn around. I'll suck on that hot prick if
you promise to pull out and squirt your juice all over this
nasty turd. I wanna lick your cum off of it!"
   "ANYTHING YOU SAY!" He turned quickly, eagerly pushing
his cock into Henry's mouth. Jenks loved blowjobs, and he
was getting a special thrill out of this one as he stood
there watching Henry suck him off while holding his dirty
turd. He could come real easy, but more than a hot suckjob
he wanted to see the man lick his shit. He pulled off in
plenty of time, then wanked himself as Henry held out the
handful.
   "Oooh. Lesse you smell it!" Henry put his nose to it
and sniffed. "Damn! That's so fuckin' hot! Now lick it up
and down. I gotta see ya lick it!" Henry looked straight up
at the guy while he lewdly ran his tongue back and forth.
Jenks took a long, deep breath...smelling his own shit
aroma...and hunched over, aiming his prick down to the
turd. While Henry continued to lick, Jenks squirted streams
of hot, white cockcream all over the glistening column.
Henry lapped the thick nectar into his mouth while squinch-
ing his legs together. He was coming furiously in his
pants! He wished to hell he'd pulled his prick out, but
while he peaked he didn't really care. Hot jizz poured down
his legs and soaked his trousers. He put the freshest end
of the turd in his mouth and ate some while his cock
continued to spurt thunderously!
   "Well, thanks, Jenks. Guess I'd better go home and
change."
   "Don't mention it, Mr. R, any time."
   "I...I wouldn't want to make a habit of..."
   "Gimme a day's notice and I'll make sure I'm fully
packed!"
   "In that case, how about Thursday?"
   Henry turned right around and stuck his tongue out at
the hovering Bugcam.
   "Bout time I started getting royalties for this, isn't
it?"
   "Jeez!" Jenks cried. "You mean I'm gonna be on TV
takin' a shit?! Hot damn! I'll be able to record it and
jack off watching it over and over again."
   Well, folks, looks like our cover's been blown...so to
speak. Send in those cards and letters and let us know if
we should continue to follow the antics of the Robinsons
now that their actions may not be exactly spontaneous. Of
course, they're not the only game in town. We got a tip
about a very unusual all-male cop stag party and managed to
sneak in Saturday night. That's tomorrow night's special
for Sweeps Week.

(To be continued)


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