Date: Mon, 10 Oct 2005 16:50:58 EDT
From: RitchChristopher@cs.com
Subject: all-my-tomorrows-2

All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or
are offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language,
please exit now.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>


                            "ALL MY TOMORROWS"

			  Copyright Ritchris 2005

                      sequel to "As I Remember Him"

                               A story by

			    Ritch Christopher

                                <><><><><>


                               CHAPTER TWO


	David was shaking all over when he got into the passenger's seat of
Luke's rental car. The memory of his mother's 'hurt' expression would not
go away. 'Damn! I should have waited until tomorrow when Mom was alone to
tell her about Mark!'! This and other thoughts kept going over and over in
David's mind. His dad's reaction to the news had left David torn between
anger and anguish. David had expected his dad to have a negative response
to the news of Mark's death, but the monumental size of his dad's 'built
up' bitterness was overwhelming.

	A month after Mark moved to Atlanta, he had phoned David and that
conversation became vivid in David's emotional recall. Mark had called his
dad a 'fucking son-of-a-bitch!'. David, not knowing exactly what had been
said or what had transpired between Mark and his dad on the night of Mark's
eviction, thought that Mark was being unfair and thinking too harshly about
their father. Now, after hearing Neil's remarks concerning Mark's dying,
David realized how Mark must have felt. 'He really IS a fucking
son-of-a-bitch!', David concluded.

	While driving David to his apartment, Luke kept glancing sideways
to see if David was settling down. Actually, Luke was paying close
attention to David's rate of breathing before he decided to speak. The one
thing Luke did observe were the tears which had filled David's lower
eyelids but never fell. It was as if David was refusing to cry or to let
the dam break and flood his cheeks.

	Finally, Luke felt the moment was right and said quietly, "It
didn't go so good, huh?"

	"Luke, I felt like I understood how Jim Lovell felt in Apollo
thirteen when he called Houston. I was on a mission and was determined to
reach my destination and there was no turning back."

	"Both your dad and your mom?"

	"No, just Dad. Mom was quite hurt and upset when I told them about
Mark. She slumped down on the couch and broke into tears...just as I
expected she would."

	"And your dad?"

	"Luke, I thought any second he would start shouting, 'Hallelujah'
or start singing, 'Ding Dong, my gay son is dead!" The enormity of his
emotions was painfully evident.

	"You're kidding?"

	"God, I wish I was..."

	"You mean after nearly three years of not seeing Mark, he still had
that much rage inside him?"

	"That much and more!"

	"I suppose it's a good thing he didn't catch a glimpse of me."

	"He might as well have. He was sitting right beside the phone when
I told you 'I love you'!"

	"Well, at least he didn't know it was me. I mean, he might have
thought you were saying that to Jenny..."

	"Oh, no! In my reciprocal rage, I shouted that it was you on the
phone!"

	"Oh, boy!" Luke said. "You think we ought to get the hell out of
Dodge?"

	"No. I don't really anticipate any retaliation from Dad. If word
got out that he was gunning for you or for you and me together, he'd put
himself in the middle of a scandal and that's the last thing he'd want."

	"How did your mom respond?"

	"Shocked...hurt...disbelieving that she had two gay sons instead of
just the one who got away."

	"I know it's a bit early to ask, but do you have any idea of what
you want to do?"

	"We can stay at your place for a day or two, then I'll go to UV and
pack up my stuff."

	"Then you're not going to resume your classes there?"

	"I'm only in the first month of this semester, so it won't be much
trouble starting my senior year all over again come January."

	"You know, babe, that's fantastic! I mean, we'll have three months
together for you to decide where you want to go. Hell, we'll have our first
Thanksgiving...our first Christmas, New Year's! Just the two of us. We can
travel to several schools in several states...or even Europe, if that's
what you decide..."

	"Luke, I'm sorry. I know that I love you, but I somehow feel so
fucking guilty about your paying for my keep! Dad DID say he was cutting
off my tuition."

	"Good! You won't feel as indebted to him! And besides, I've told
you that the money I have was given to me by Aunt Delia. I didn't earn
it. It just plopped into my lap...so I've never felt that the money was
mine."

	"I know...but still..."

	"Would you feel better if you had to work for the money?"

	"Frankly, yes!"

	"OK. I need someone to be my live-in companion...someone to look
after me and my needs. Can you cook and clean house?"

	"Of course I can!"

	"Can you make love to me whenever we feel like it? I mean, I've
waited years to have you in bed. My sexual appetite is voracious,
especially toward the one person I'm in love with."

	"You want to pay me for making love to you?"

	"No, I want you to allow me to make love to you. After all, I've
had gay fantasies about you for a number of years while at the same time,
being madly in love with you. YOU? You've only attested to being gay for
two days."

	"The thought of that still seems strange to me...strange, and yet,
exciting!"

	"I hope each day and each night will be even MORE exciting for
you."

	"I don't think anything could get more exciting than our first
night together at Randy's."

	"There's an old adage, 'I love you today, but every day just a
little bit more'."

	David laughed. "I should have had an idea that I had a hidden gay
streak in me by the way I love show tunes. I used to read the New York
Times theatre section to see what new musicals were hits. Then I'd wait a
few weeks, hoping that the university library had put the original cast CD
in their archives."

	"What were your favorites?"

	"That's easy! I like any and every thing Stephen Sondheim has every
written."

	"Good God! He's my favorite, too! Which do you like the most?"

	"You know I was majoring in literature at UV? I think his lyrics to
'Company' are the cleverest ever to be heard on a Broadway
stage. Musically, his, 'A Little Night Music', is better than any score
ever written."

	"What do you think about 'Passion', David?"

	"Oh, man! That song that Fosca sings, 'Loving you is not a choice,
it's who I am'. It gives me chills every time I hear the pathos in Donna
Murphy's voice when she sings it."

	"I can't believe it! We've known each other since I was a
pimply-faced teen. We've been lovers for two days and I'm finding out how
much we have in common. That's my absolute Sondheim favorite!"

	"You know, Luke, I can't sing, nor carry a tune, but if I could,
I'd sing that song to you right now from my heart."

	"Let me sing it to you from MY heart," Luke said before he broke
into song, voicing their favorite line..."Loving you is not a choice, it's
who I am...".

	"Thanks, Luke. It's who I am, also."

	"Quick kiss?" Luke asked.

	"A quick one, but you keep your eyes on the road!"

	David leaned over and gave Luke a spry peck on the lips.

	"I love appetizers before a full meal," Luke joked.

	"I was just thinking. I hope your medicine cabinet is filled with
Pepto-Bismol, paregoric, and Imodium!" David said.

	"Damn! One teeny kiss and you got sick to your stomach?"

	"No, but it dawned on me that I still have to face Jenny. That
confrontation should turn my stomach upside down and sideways."

	"Yes, but only after you've packed your things at the dorm. You can
say goodbye to her and never have to see her again if you like."

	"I suppose I should feel like a cad. It wasn't so bad when Sandy
and I broke up because she was fucking around on me behind my back. I did
some soul-searching on the flight back from Atlanta and came to the
conclusion that I never really loved Jenny the way a man is supposed to
love his wife-to-be. I began dating her on the rebound after Sandy...and a
rebound is not the basis for falling in love or choosing a life-partner."

	"I don't fall into that category, do I?"

	"Hell, no! I fell in love with you before I broke up with Jenny!"

	"David, do you feel that she's really in love with you?"

	"She says she is, but I'm not so sure."

	"I guess I'm trying to ask if you think she'll be profoundly hurt?"

	"Not as much as I would have been if I had married her and THEN
found out I was latently gay. That would have hurt both of us."

	"Look, we're here!" Luke said as he pulled into a new condo
complex.

	"Fancy, schmancy!"

	"It's not all that great. I decided when I bought it that I would
never have you in my life. It was large enough for me to spend my life in
solitary, but as soon as you decide where you want to go to school, I'll
put it on the market and sell ASAP."

	"Jesus! It hasn't sunk into me yet...the idea of you being rich!"

	"I know how much you love to rummage through library
books. Tomorrow or the next day, I want you to look at books about
California with the idea of going to UCLA...or New York...Columbia! Then
there's England...OXFORD!"

	"That stretches my imagination too much!"

	"David, I know you haven't eaten dinner. I haven't either. Whaddya
say we go up and eat and make love or make love and then eat?"

	"I'm a little bit famished for both. After the conflict with Dad, I
need someone to hold me. I want to feel your arms around me."

	"I can do that and make a souffle at the same time!"

	"I gotta see this!" In his mind, David was thanking God for giving
him Luke. It helped erase the pain and bitterness he'd just lived through.

	"Come on, let's get your bags out of the car and run inside!"


<><><><><><><><><><>

	For the next two days, David and Luke had an 'at home'
honeymoon. Luke's freezer and pantry were stocked to the gills, so there
was no reason to go out for food or drinks. The first night at Luke's condo
apartment, the two made love four times...once before dinner and three
times after they had showered.

	Luke, being totally experienced in the art of gay lovemaking, led
the way. David found himself aroused beyond his wildest expectations by
each new experience. The night's exertions left both exhausted. Each
variation of sex which Luke taught him only left David eager for more. It
was as if David had never known the splendor of the kind of orgasm he was
achieving as Luke continued his gay education. David felt like he was
thirteen years old again and had just been given his initial introduction
to sex as his appetite for Luke's manhood became almost insatiable. David
couldn't get enough of Luke. Never had he had these feelings for Jenny, for
Sandy, for any girl.

	Between make-out sessions, David wondered how or why he'd been able
to keep his homosexual drive suppressed his entire life. He had no doubt
now that he was gay. The only remorse he felt was he hadn't discovered his
hidden desires while Mark was still alive. Two gay brothers, living
together, could have created a sibling bond and a support system to combat
their dad's intolerance ..meaning, Mark would never have left River Oaks
for Atlanta without taking David with him...not that there would have been
an incestuous relationship, but the two of them could have shared their
innermost thoughts and revealed details to each other about their sexual
quests and encounters.

	David almost felt guilty that perhaps he was being Mark's proxy in
a relationship with Luke. Mark and Luke had had very little sex together
and David was getting to know and share all the wonders of Luke that Mark
never had the chance to experience. David had always loved his brother and
in David's mind, he could see how Luke and Mark would have been a loving
couple...because David knew now what it was to love Luke and be loved by
him. But the realization that Mark was dead always brought David back to
the present and made him only want to love Luke even more.

	As the days progressed, the newlyweds took turns cooking, playing
practical jokes on one another, giving each other massages or bath
scrubs. They watched DVD's. David had never seen a gay porn movie and
became so excited, he all but attacked Luke after seeing the first thirty
minutes. They became kids again... popping corn, making root beer floats,
etc. Luke had a hooded open fireplace in the center of his living room and
one night the two of them roasted hot dogs and marshmallows, each content
merely in the presence of the other.

	In spite of the fact that David had just lost his brother, and
Luke, his teenage boyfriend, never had either of them been so happy. It was
as if they had both just come out of the womb for the second time, their
lives had been renewed. At Luke's prodding, David thought at length about
where he wanted to go to college to finish his senior year, but still
hadn't made a decision. It really didn't matter to him now, just as long as
Luke was with him.

	After trying a multitude of sexual variations, David's confidence
grew with his lovemaking...to the point that he no longer felt inadequate
toward any of Luke's former sex partners. It was HE, DAVID, who was now
initiating the bedroom activities and Luke was enjoying every minute of it.

	David felt a solidarity in his relationship with his gay lover, a
solid foundation. The two of them had nothing to fear, nothing to worry
about. Their parents were no longer objects to hinder their bond of
kinship. They had money and a bright future ahead of them...that is, they
would AFTER David freed himself officially from Jenny. That's when he
decided that the next day, a Friday, would be the best time to drive to UV,
get the few items of personal paraphernalia he wanted to retrieve from his
dorm room, see Jenny and say goodbye.

	Luke owned his own car, a two seated convertible, but the rented
car was still parked in front of his condo. He told David to follow him to
the rental office to return the vehicle and the two would drive to UV
together in his BMW. So, early Friday morning, they set off for
Charlottesville to face the last task, the one that would close their
former lives.


<><><><><><><>

	Luke had had his car custom-made. In lieu of a trunk, he had a
rumble seat which folded out when needed. He asked David if he thought that
was enough space for David's school gear to fit into. David thought about
his clothes at college and remembered how Randy had bought him an entirely
new wardrobe since David's clothes seemed to be out of style. Remembering
his new duds, there wasn't much that David wanted from his dorm closet. If
what he owned wasn't in vogue, he didn't want to wear any of them in front
of Luke. He decided he'd keep his underwear, socks, and a couple of pairs
of comfortable shoes...maybe two or three sweaters his mom had knitted for
him and put the rest of his things in a box for the dorm monitor to give to
the Goodwill or to the Salvation Army.

	He also wanted to keep a picture that had been taken of Mark and
himself together, and one of his mom. He had no picture of his dad so that
wouldn't be a problem of deciding whether to keep it or throw it in the
dumpster. Yes, everything David wanted to keep would fit nicely in the back
of Luke's BMW.

	It was just eleven o'clock when they arrived on the UV campus,
David asked Luke to drive straight to the dorm. He had a copy of Jenny's
schedule and knew where she should be...Professor Kline's poetry class for
seniors. He had one hour to pack up his things before he'd go wait for
Jenny to come out of Garrett Hall on her way to lunch at the Commons.

	Actually, David had everything packed and stowed in Luke's car
within thirty minutes. David felt it'd be better for Luke to wait in the
car while he walked over to meet Jenny. Breaking up with her was going to
be difficult, but seeing Luke waiting for David would arouse a suspicion
which David didn't want to discuss or deny to his soon-to-be 'ex'.

	David waited outside the Arts building until Jenny came out the
door with her two close girlfriends, Sandy Suit and Wanda Flerl. It was
Sandy who noticed David first.

	"LOOK, JENNY! LOOK WHO'S HERE!" Sandy exclaimed.

	It had been nearly five days since Jenny had spoken to David while
he was in Atlanta. She'd been worried, concerned that something had
happened to him...after all, he SHOULD'VE called to let her know when he
was coming home or back to school. Jenny saw David and ran down the stairs,
put her arms around his neck and began kissing him all over his cheeks,
chin, eyes, and finally his lips.

	"Oh, David, darling!" Jenny said in her MOST southern Virginian
drawl, between kisses. "I was so worried when you didn't call. Oh, how glad
I am to see you! Oh, honey, I've missed you so much!"

	David couldn't get a word in edgewise because every time he tried
to speak, Jenny covered his mouth with hers.

	"Oh, David, honey! Have you eaten yet? When did you get back? Come
on, let's go get a bite in the Commons while you tell me everything. I want
to hear all about Mark's memorial service. Did you go home first and tell
your folks? Were they upset when you told them?"

	"Jenny, PLEASE!" David interrupted her firmly. "I can't answer all
your questions all at once!"

	"Oh, sweetheart! Of course you can't! How stupid that was of me to
just bombard you with twenty questions! It's just that I'm so excited to
see you."

	"Jenny, could we NOT go into the Commons? I...I don't want to face
a crowd of friends who'll ply me with questions as you just did."

	"Where would you like to go, honey?"

	"Some place where we can talk privately and not be interrupted. How
about that bench down there on the lawn?"

	"That would be lovely, David, AND private!"

	Jenny took David's hand and practically pulled him toward the
bench. After sitting, Jenny looked at him and said, "Now, how about a REAL
welcome home kiss?"

	"Jenny, please...not now. I...I know how glad you are to see me,
but..."

	"But you're not so glad to see me! Is that it?"

	"Of course not, Jenny, It's just that I'm tired...physically,
mentally, and emotionally. I've faced a lot of things since I left and I'm
not quite able to re-adapt to 'normal' things just yet."

	"You mean like jet lag?"

	"Sort of..."

	"Oh, Martha Brown told me all about jet lag. It took her over a
week to recover when she flew to Australia with her parents. I've never
experienced it myself...well, you must know that I've never flown in a
plane before...but Martha said it was a horrible feeling!"

	David thought to himself, 'Goddammit! Won't she shut the fuck up? I
have so much to say to her and she's driving me insane!'

	Instead, he held Jenny's hand and said, "Jenny, there are things
which I must say to you...I just can't seem to gather my thoughts enough to
begin."

	"David, don't you see? That's another reason why we should hurry up
and get married. You wouldn't have to tell me things. A wife always knows
what her husband is thinking before he says it. If we were married, I'd
already know..."

	David started wondering if Virginia gave the death penalty to guys
who strangled their girlfriends for talking too much!

	"Getting married...that's one of the things I wanted to talk with
you about..."

	"Oh, David! You've finally settled on a date? We can get married
before we graduate next June?"

	"Jenny, I...I'm not sure I'm gonna graduate next June..."

	"Well, of course you are! You have a three-point-eight GPA. You'll
be in the upper ten percent of our graduating class!:

	"Maybe so, Jenny, but it won't be here at UV."

	"Oh, David, don't tell me that you've said something to anger your
dad and he's cutting off your tuition."

	'Aha! There's an out!', David thought. "Yes, Jenny, I'm afraid
that's exactly what happened! My dad cut off my tuition!"

	"Then, I'll just call MY dad and see if HE'LL pay your tuition."

	"No, Jenny! I'd be too embarrassed to accept tuition like a
charity."

	"David, you're practically his SON-in-law. It would be like helping
a family member."

	"Jenny, please respect my pride and let me maintain my dignity!"

	"Then what are you going to do? Does that mean we have to postpone
our wedding?"

	"I'm afraid so, Jenny. I...I'm so sorry. I knew how much it would
upset you. That's why I couldn't tell you."

	"David, I'll have my degree in June. I can get a job and put you
through college. That's not like asking my dad. I'll be your wife and we'll
pay for everything jointly."

	"No, I won't have my wife supporting me!" As soon as David made
this remark, he thought to himself, 'I didn't say that my husband couldn't
support me and pay my tuition, Jenny!'. Should he go that far? Should he
break up with her without telling her about Luke and how he had changed
from hetero to homo? Did he want to hurt her slightly or deeply? He had no
reason to hurt her at all. A week ago, he thought he was in love with Jenny
and was planning to marry her in eight months. She hadn't done anything
wrong. Why should he destroy her by telling her he was leaving her for
Luke?

	Jenny dropped her eyes and changed the tone of her voice to a
softer mellifluous tone and said, "David, what if we HAD to get married
before June?"

	"Jenny, with my not being in school, I don't see how that's
possible! I can't get a job good enough to support us without a degree."

	"David, what if the 'news' I had to say to you was just as
important as what you have to say to me?"

	"What are you getting at, Jenny?"

	"Oh, David! Don't make me tell you this way...not here and now!"

	"Whatever it is, Jenny, you'd better tell me now because I've
already packed up the things from my dorm room and I'm ready to leave UV
for good."

	"Would you leave me if you knew I was carrying our child?"

	"Our what?"

	"Our child, David. I found out last week while you were in
Atlanta."

	"I'd say that the doctor or your pregnancy test was mistaken. The
times you and I have had sex, I can count on one hand and I KNOW I used
precaution every time."

	"Well, one of your little sperm cells must have jumped over the top
because I'm six weeks pregnant!"

	"Who else knows?"

	"No one...not my parents, not Sandy or Wanda."

	"Since you know how financially strapped I am...what is the chance
of going to a clinic and...well, you know..."

	"Having an abortion? Kill my baby? Ruin my life forever? David! How
can you suggest such a thing?"

	"I'm sorry if this offends you, Jenny, but I refuse to believe that
the child you're carrying...IF you're carrying a child...is MINE!"

	"David, as much as we love each other, I can't believe you just
said that! Are you insinuating I'm a 'wild' girl and slept with other
guys?"

	"No, I'm just trying to convince you that I was safe! I protected
myself and YOU. If you're pregnant, it's no fault of mine!"

	"David, are you calling me a...a whore?"

	"No, I'm not!...BUT I'm not taking the blame for getting you
pregnant either!"

	"I thought you'd be so pleased! DAVID! IT'S OUR CHILD...ALIVE and
growing inside me."

	"Jenny, I'm NOT pleased and it's NOT OUR CHILD!"

	"David, can you look me straight in the eyes and tell me you don't
love me any longer?"

	"I...I didn't want to tell you...but...no, Jenny, I don't love you
any more."

	"OH! So you met someone in Atlanta and fell madly in love, did
you?"

	"Well, actually...yes!"

	"A REAL WHORE, no doubt!"

	"No, he's not a whore!"

	"What did you say? Did you say, 'he'?" Her bewilderment was
obvious.

	"Oh, fuck! I guess I did say it."

	"YOU fell in love with a GUY? A QUEER?"

	"Yes, Jenny, I fell in love with a guy, but he's not a queer. If he
is, then I am, too."

	"You're a son-of-a-bitch, David! That's what you are. I didn't
believe your mother when she called me last night!"

	"My mom called you last night?"

	"I...I wasn't supposed to tell you, but she called and told me that
you had some strange notion that you were gay. I didn't believe her and
told her so! I told her I'd have to find out myself from your own words."

	"OK, so you've heard me say it! How can I prove it to you?"

	"Your mother said it was Luke! Is that right?"

	"Jenny, I don't have to tell you who it is!"

	"What a fool I was to tell Luke that you were in Atlanta. He flew
straight down there and turned you into one of...of what HE is!"

	"Jenny, neither Luke or ANYONE has turned me into anything! I am
what I am and what I've probably been all my life! It just took me a longer
time to realize it!"

	"Tell me, David! Was it because Luke gave you blow jobs when I
wouldn't?"

	"Jesus Christ, Jenny! Where did you get these crazy ideas?"

	"I see he's changed you in a lot of ways. Before you went to
Atlanta, you would never have taken the Lord's name in vain!"

	"I'm sorry if I offended you, but since I've told you the truth
about my being gay, why don't you be honest with me and tell me that I
didn't get you pregnant!"

	"THAT, MR. DAVID STANLEY, is something I'll NEVER tell. If you're
queer, I don't want my child to be molested by his QUEER father."

	"I...I can't sit here and listen to your insane rhetoric. I'm
leaving. If you're pregnant and can prove it, send me the bill. I'LL pay
for everything. I'll even adopt the kid if you don't want to keep it."

	"So he or she will have TWO QUEER DADS? Not on your life!"

	"Jenny, I'm sorry our relationship had to end on this sour note,
but...well, goodbye!"

	David got up and ran toward Luke's car, not looking back at Jenny
once.


<><><><><><><><><><><>

	This was the second time in a matter of a few days, Luke had seen
that expression on David's face, the combination of hurt and anger in
David's eyes. The first time was less than a week ago when David got into
Luke's car after the confrontation he'd had with his father. There was no
reason for Luke to ask what had happened during David's conversation with
Jenny. Luke already knew that the scene between David and Jenny had gone
badly.

	All Luke said to David as David got into the passenger side of
Luke's BMG was, "I won't ask..."

	"Thanks, Luke--please don't!" David replied.

	Luke started his car and drove out of the UV parking lot and onto
the street which led toward the highway back to his condo in River Oaks.

	David was silent with his temper raging inside until "GOD DAMN IT!"
David finally screamed. "I had no idea until I got home from Atlanta just
how little control I've had over my life. Hell, it wasn't even MY life I
was living. It was Dad's, and now I just found out that a large part of me
belonged to Jenny."

	Luke kept driving, but didn't respond to David's words of wrath.

	"Luke, for the first time in years, I miss Mark. I know. I went to
Atlanta and saw my dead brother, but I didn't know him. I guess I never
really knew him. The years that passed when we missed doing the things
brothers do...the things they talk about...the secrets they share! Mark and
I didn't do any of those things. Dear God, how lonely he must have been the
years after he left home. I blame myself for not being a big brother to
him. Why the fuck didn't I know he was gay? Why in hell didn't I know that
I was gay? I feel as though I've wasted my whole life, first trying to
please Dad...then Sandy and then Jenny. How does a person get trapped and
not even be aware of it? Why didn't I ever, at least ONCE, TELL Mark I
loved him?

	Luke still remained silent, giving David a chance to release his
emotions, to find for himself who he was.

	After a few minutes of silence, David looked long and hard at his
new love. "I'm sorry, Luke. I shouldn't have said those things out
loud. It's just that I realize my only recourse is to capture all the good
memories of Mark and since you were such a big part of his 'growing up'
years, you're the only connection I seem to have with him. Fuck! I didn't
mean to put it that way. I DO love you for who you are and what you mean to
me. Your tie with Mark is not at all the reason I fell in love with you."

	"I know that, David. You've proven that to me over the past week."

	"I pray that I have."

	"Can I ask how much or what you said to Jenny? I mean, did you go
so far as to tell her about us...or rather me, by name?"

	"Hell, she already knew!"

	"How so?"

	"My mom called her and told her that I had a 'crazy notion that I
was gay' and that you were my boyfriend."

	"Your mom did that?"

	"Oh, wait until you hear the rest! I don't know if it was Jenny's
doing or a scheme she and my Mom cooked up, but Jenny told me that she was
pregnant and was going to have my child."

	"God God! You're kidding!" Luke exclaimed. "She's not, is she?"

	"Before I knew that Mom had talked with her, Jenny insisted that I
had been careless and I'd not worn a condom once when we had had sex."

	"You're sure?"

	"Positive. I mean, this might sound funny saying this now, but all
the months Jenny and I dated and even after we got engaged, we only had sex
four times...that's all, four times. Doesn't sound as if I'm some king-stud
as a lover."

	"I don't mean to be snide, but I'm surprised that it was only four
times. Surely you must have either had a poor sex drive or figured out that
Jenny didn't turn you on. Could that have been your first eye-opener that
you needed something different to fulfill you sexually? Heck, I can attest
to your having a strong sex drive. You've all but worn me out since you
came to live at my place. I was afraid my sex drive wasn't strong enough to
satisfy YOUR appetite. Don't laugh, but yesterday morning just after I
brushed my teeth, I opened the medicine cabinet and took a double dose of
Vitamin E. I even thought about Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra."

	"I...I hope you're joking!"

	"I am...I was just trying to get you to laugh and help get your
mind off Jenny."

	"Thanks,...I think!"

	"David, if I may, I want to respond to something you just said."

	"Damn! I said so much...which part?"

	"About your being trapped, and people controlling your life."

	"Oh, that."

	"Yes, David, I...I never want you to feel trapped by me and I never
want to control your life. There's no doubt in my mind about the way I feel
about you. I love you and I want you to be mine...but only if you want me
as much as I want you. You see, from the things I've told you about MY dad
and me, he...he tried to control me as your dad did you. I know what that
feels like. I hated it."

	"I...I haven't given you the impression I'm trying to control you,
have I?"

	"No...and I don't mind if you do! You see, I didn't love my dad any
more than I think you loved YOUR dad...or Jenny, for that matter. 'Control'
is not a substitute for love. People in love don't try to control each
other. It's a matter of sharing...opening up a part of your life and inner
self and allowing someone to accept it as a gift...a gift you're willing to
offer. People in love have quarrels or tiffs over petty things, but they
never stop loving one another. Compromising these instances means each has
to relent a little and come together in a common ground with a common
bond...but NEVER does it mean that one has control over the other."

	"Jesus! I'm the older of us two and you sound like a wise old sage
with your philosophy."

	"Well, do you agree or not?"

	"Of course I do, you handsome idiot!"

	"Then, as soon as possible, I want you to try and forget about
Jenny AND your dad and think only about me...and us!"

	"That's easy!" David replied. "It'll even be easier once we get the
hell out of Virginia."

	"Oh, are you trying to tell me that you've made a decision?"

	"How would you feel about living in New York?"

	"Columbia?"

	"Yes!"

	"Then I'd love it!"

	"All last week, being in Atlanta, I learned to like living in a big
city. It's so different from 'carry me back to old Virginny!'. New York is
bigger and I'd like to begin our life together in some place
exciting. Hell, by the time I get my degree and find out what I'm gonna do
for a career...!  When we get old, we can live on a farm in some bucolic
setting, but while we're young, let's live like two young people in love
and fill our lives with fun and excitement!"

	"I like the whole idea!"

	"The only thing is...what will you do in New York while I'm
studying and attending classes every day?"

	"You're not hinting at being jealous of what I'll do or whom I'll
meet while you're occupied, are you?"

	"No, but you can't sit around all day doing nothing. Television and
DVD's can get boring in a short time."

	"You think I should get a job of some kind?"

	"A job or a hobby."

	"Maybe I could go to Wall Street and try my hand at playing the
stock market...?"

	"Oh, no! That's too risky. No one makes money on the stock market
unless you're a Bush Republican...and you being gay, it doesn't sound like
you voted for Dubya."

	"I didn't!"

	"Thank God!"

	"What would you say if I went to Columbia and took a few classes
with you? I didn't finish VMI!"

	"Oh, Luke, that would be wonderful!"

	"All right, it's settled. Both of us will start Columbia in
January. That means we can go Christmas shopping down Fifth Avenue...go
ice-skating at Rockefeller Center! See the Macy's parade live...and go for
strolls in Central Park!"

	"How soon do you want to leave? I mean, we'll have to find an
apartment or a place to live!"

	"I'll list my condo with a realtor on Monday and as soon as I get a
buyer, off we'll go!"

	"Do you know a song called, 'Autumn In New York'?"

	"Yes, and also, 'Spring In Manhattan'!"

	"Do you know the lyrics?"

	"I just might..."

	"Would you sing them to me?"

	"I'll try...'Autumn in New York, why does it seem so exciting?..."

	Luke pulled his car onto the Interstate and the two lovers headed
home.

................

American Heritage Dictionary (Fourth edition)

JACKKNIFE-(jaeknIf)
Verb:
   1. To form a 90 degree angle.
   2. To bend or fold up like a jackknife: A truck that had jackknifed was
blocking the road.


<><><><><><><><>


(To be continued in "All My Tomorrows"---chapter-three.)