Date: Thu, 14 Apr 2005 07:15:56 EDT
From: RitchChristopher@cs.com
Subject: as-i-remember-him-4

All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or
are offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language,
please exit now.

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                              "AS I REMEMBER HIM"

                                  A story by

                                Ritch Christopher

                                   * * * * *


		"He turned the darkest day into a world of gold..."

                                          Portia Nelson. 1995.


                                  Chapter Four


	During a police interrogation, it's always required of the
interrogator that he state if the interviewee was 'oriented times
four'...person, place, time, and situation. When Thad awoke to find David
sleeping closely to his back with his arm stretched over Thad's waist, Thad
felt no connection with any of the four orientation criteria. Moreover, he
was afraid to move and he had no idea what to do. How long David had been
in this position?  True to his word, Thad had not made any advances or
taken advantage of his 'straight guest', but he'd go out of his fucking
mind if David didn't move and go back to his own side of the bed! Thad
wasn't sure how much time passed before David finally DID move...an hour?
Two? An entire night? Jesus! Thad's raging hard on was about to burst with
untended desire.

	Finally, when David was sleeping soundly, and once again at a safe
distance, Thad had to get out of bed and go to the bathroom for five
minutes of relief. What the fuck was wrong with him? Was he really that
horny or had David turned him on that much? Thad had just lost his
tentative lover only a few hours ago, but his thoughts now were not about
Alex. He couldn't get his mind off the image of David's naked body, the
sensous body he'd seen as David got out of the shower.

	A few minutes later, Thad returned to the bedroom, a semi-relaxed
condition between his legs. He walked back to the bed, hoping to continue
sleeping through what was left of the early morning hours. He gently eased
back down on the mattress, even though it was the kind which allowed no
ripples or disturbance to anyone else who might be sharing it. Carefully he
pulled the covers up to his neck once again. The silence in the room might
have been peaceful had it only been broken by the sound of David's
breathing, which in itself was arousing and sexually stimulating to Thad's
unusual horniness. Under different circumstances, Thad would have flipped
his bed partner onto his stomach and plowed his ass like a John Deere in
rich, heavy soil ready for seeding.

	Thirty minutes of this emotional stigmatic torture was all that
Thad could endure. He quietly arose, dressed, left his apartment and drove
to the nearest all-night Dunkin' Donuts for coffee and a cop's best
tranquilizer. With David out of sight and mind,at least temporarily, Thad's
thoughts returned to Alex. Thad mulled over what had been his and Alex's
relationship, playing back as many episodes mentally as he could. How much
had he actually loved the kid? Had Alex ever really loved him? Was Alex's
addiction stronger than his feelings for Thad?  Alex had promised to get
'clean' and stay that way, but he failed. Thad's guilt was mounting
inside. Why the fuck hadn't he gotten more help for the boy? He quickly
dismissed the idea of help because Thad had no faith in most rehab
treatment centers anyway.

	In the late 80's and early 90's, the government had supplied all
kinds of financial aid and support for drug, alcohol, and substance abuse
facilities...but that had been during the Clinton Administration. Now,
under the current Washington regime, social service funding had been cut
back to practically nothing. Hell, why take back the tax cuts from the
zillionaires and give it to the population who needed assistance? The
effectiveness of present day rehabilitation centers was a
farce...understaffed, underfunded, it was almost useless. It was the same
with Father Chris' current project. Why was Chris busting his ass to scrape
every available nickel and dime together in order to supply low budget
meals to AIDS and HIV victims or to the indigent or oppressed? Hell, they
were cared for better forty years ago...before AIDS, back when LBJ
controlled the federal budget!

	When Thad finished his sixth Boston-creme doughnut and fourth cup
of coffee, it was nearly 7:30 AM. It was time for him to go home, hopefully
before David awoke and missed him. Thad was not skilled in the culinary art
of making breakfast, so on his way home, he drove by the window at McD's
and ordered a dozen sausage and egg burritos and four large coffees, two
for each of them in case either he or David wanted a refill.

	Thad hadn't had much sleep, but then, being a detective, he was
used to it in spite of the attraction of his Simmons Beauty treasure. He
had many things to do this morning and he was sure David had the same. Thad
hated the idea of calling Alex's brother in Chattanooga. As many times in
the past when Thad had to break the news of a death to a crime-victim's
loved ones or family, he never ceased hating having to do it. It had never
seemed to get any easier over the years--if anything, it seemed to grow
harder.

	With his trove of breakfast goodies, Thad drove to his apartment
and quietly opened the door in order to hide his unexplained absence if
David had awakened while he was gone. However, David, being used to early
classes at the university thyat had conditioned him to be an early
riser. He was already dressed and making the bed when Thad came in the
door. When David saw Thad, he gave him a warm smile.

	"Good morning," David said, as he finished tucking the top of the
bedspread under the bottom tufts of the pillows.

	"Well, good morning to you, too" Thad replied. David's smile
sparked an unexplained feeling in the pit of Thad's stomach. Had David
remembered rolling over and holding him during the night? "I didn't expect
to find you awake. I...I went down the street to get something for
breakfast and some coffee."

	"That's great and very thoughtful of you."

	"I see you made the bed..."

	"I hope you don't mind...?"

	"Hell, no, but that's the first time it's been fully made
in...well, I can't remember the last time."

	"It only took a sec..."

	"I...I hope you like breakfast burritos..."

	"They're my favorite! I stop and grab a couple at McD's every
morning before my first class."

	"Thank God I got something you liked!"

	"Did you get any mustard?"

	"No, but I have a jar in the fridge."

	"I like 'em with lots of mustard."

	"Come on into the kitchen and I'll get you some. The coffee is
still nice and hot."

	"Sounds great. Oh, I hope you don't mind my using some of your
toothpaste. I promise I didn't use your toothbrush, but I did squirt some
paste on my finger to hide 'morning breath'."

	"For God's sake, you can use anything you want. I know you shaved
before coming to bed, but if you want to use some of my Gillette Cool Wave
under your arms..."

	"I already did." David's self-concious grin eased any possible
tension.

	They exchanged casual smiles and David followed Thad into his tiny,
but very messy kitchen.

	"Sorry about the debris and the dirty dishes, but..."

	"Think nothing of it! I know you weren't expecting an overnight
guest."

	"I never do..." Thad said, then almost tried to take the statement
back, realizing that he had revealed a small secret he would just as soon
had stayed hidden.

	"Oh?"

	"No...no one ever comes here to spend the night...or any short-term
reason for that matter. Alex...did...but he was used to my living like a
slob." Thad's voice choked a bit, speaking of Alex in the past tense for
the first time.

	"You...you two? I know I shouldn't ask, but when you two were
together...you didn't live together?"

	"You couldn't say that our relationship was habitational. He slept
here occasionally but it was more of a recreational nature."

	"You mean...?"

	"Sex, yeah."

	"Oh...okay."

	The last two responses had been slightly embarrassing for both Thad
AND David.

	"Here, David, sit down and I'll get two plates, a couple of cups,
AND your mustard."

	David complied with relief as Thad joined him with the utensils and
the condiment. He opened the McD's bag and poured the contents into a pile
in the center of the table.

	David laughed, "Either you're very hungry or you thought I might
be...gee, how many did you buy?"

	"Twelve, if I didn't get cheated."

	"Looks like they're all there. I don't believe that McD's would
cheat a detective."

	"Eat as many as you like."

	"Thanks, I will." David reached and got two burritos, unwrapped
them and squirted two long streams of French's mustard on each side of the
breakfast treats. He took a hearty bite out of the first. "Hmm...reminds me
of home cooking!"

	David laughed. "You don't cook in your dorm?"

	"Not as long as I have money to buy fast food. My mom has a fit if
she thinks I'm pushing up my cholesterol level, but she keeps sending me
money for food just the same."

	Thad, being a slick detective, thought he would pry into David's
memory about his action in the bed.

	"Did...did you sleep well?"

	"God! Like a log. The first thing I'm gonna do when Jenny and I get
married is buy a mattress exactly like yours. I've never slept so well."

	"I'm glad you liked the mattress. The side you were sleeping on has
seldom been used. I find that, once I lie down, I never so much as turn
over. I wake in the same position I fell asleep in."

	"I'm the same way. I don't toss and turn either..." David said, but
noting a small strange look in Thad's eyes. "Or do I? Did I turn over and
keep you awake?"

	"Oh, no, no! You stayed put on your side all night long."

	David's answer had squashed any hope that David's hugging him in
his sleep had any nefarious intention. In a way, Thad was relieved...and
yet, in a smaller way, he found himself disappointed.

	"Thad, would it be too much trouble if I asked you to take me to
Steve's after breakfast? I...I would like to change clothes. Oh, by the
way, I rinsed out the t-shirt and shorts you loaned me and put them on the
shower rod to dry."

	"Hey, that wasn't necessary."

	"Maybe not, but I did feel somewhat indebted for your generosity."

	"You could have kept them..."

	"Perhaps, I should have...just to keep something to remember you
by..."

	His back was turned, thank God, for Thad's eyes popped wide open!
'What did David mean by that?'  He turned and said "Listen, I don't know
your plans...I doubt if you know what you're gonna do just yet...but if you
like, you can get your clothes or whatever and spend tonight here if you
like. I mean, it's cheaper than a hotel...and you already know you can
sleep well on my mattress...and...and, well, I didn't molest you, did I?"

	"No, Thad, I was never worried about that. I told you several times
last night that I trust you. I do...and, well, if I DO decide to spend a
few days in Atlanta, I would love being your guest."

	"It would mean a lot to me, too. I...I have to call Alex's brother
some time this morning and break the news to him. I don't know if he'll
want to come down to make arrangements or if he'll leave them to me. I
wouldn't mind it if that what he wants. It's...it's the last thing I can do
for Alex."

	"Chris said something about a friend or one of his parishioners who
does cremation for a nominal fee...?"

	"Is that what you've decided to do for Mark?"

	"I think so. I...I won't have to leave him here. I can always take
him back to Virginia and have a service there...if and when I tell our
folks."

	"I hope that's what Alex's brother agrees to do with Alex. God
knows, I hate fucking funerals. Such a waste of money. I think everyone is
catching on to that idea. They advertise on TV in Virginia that funerals
cost around six-thousand dollars...and that's for a cheap one. I used to
hope that if I got killed working a case, the felon would blow up my car or
set it on fire while my body is still inside. NO FANCY FUNERAL FOR ME!"
Thad cleared his throat. "I was six years old when my mother died and my
dad had her buried in a copper casket with a glass cover which was
hermetically sealed...like the one he'd seen President Roosevelt buried
in. It cost him over ten-thousand dollars, PLUS a solid steel vault to keep
her body dry. Shit! Years later, when I was trying to make ends meet on a
rookie cop's salary, he died suddenly. I had him buried in a pine box. I'm
not sure, but I think they closed it with nails. Even then, I couldn't
really afford that."

	"You have no brothers or sisters?"

	"Nope...just me. After Dad died, I was all alone...been that way
ever since."

	"No...no women--ever in your life?"

	"No, I knew I was gay all my life."

	"No...steady relationships?"

	"Like a live-in lover?"

	"Yeah."

	"The closest I ever came to it was Alex...and I've already told you
how that was."

	"Do you mind my asking a personal question?"

	"Probably not..."

	"Do...do you ever get lonely?"

	"Not really. I've always been alone. Look around! That's why I live
like a slob!"

	"Have...have you ever been in love?"

	"That IS a tough one! Let's say, I...I've...LOVED, but I've never
been IN love. Jesus! I loved Alex more than anyone in my life...but I can't
honestly say I was in love with him."

	"Do you...do you think you EVER will be?"

	"In love?"

	"Uh huh..."

	"It would be nice. I mean it would be nice to have someone to come
home to. Someone who would keep a tidy house, cook a hot meal, and give me
lots of sex in the bedroom every night."

	"But you've never found that 'someone'?"

	"That 'someone' doesn't exist in my world. The only people I meet
are crooks, thugs, addicts, dealers, vagrants...The only other people I see
are my co-workers and I somehow don't think a relationship would last
between two cops in the same police department. We'd be laughed out of the
precinct or harassed to the point I'd have to shoot some of my fellow
officers."

	"Thad, if you COULD meet someone...what would you like him to be?"

	"First of all...NOT a cop! I'd want someone who's educated, with a
college degree, ya know?" Thad's eyes grew dark as he, for the first time,
voiced a quiet dream. "I'd want him to be someone who cared about
me...someone I could trust and someone who would trust me. I wouldn't
object, of course, if he was good-looking and had a great body...speaking
of which, I hope you won't mind my saying, but I couldn't help but notice
your body in the bathroom last night. You are a perfect specimen of what I
would like, physically, IF I ever found that 'someone'."

	"My body?" David asked, as he stopped eating his burrito.

	"Sure. Haven't you ever taken a good look at yourself? I seemed to
have asked last night if your Jenny had ever noticed how virile you are..."

	"You mean...I could 'turn you on'?"

	"Are you trying to get me to confess that you did?"

	"I did?"

	"Like chocolate to a diabetic!"

	"You were tempted to...? When I was naked?"

	"Shit! You want the truth? I had to jerk off a half-dozen times
before I could get into bed with you."

	"My God! I had no idea...I mean, you gave me no indication that.."

	"Dave, all you had to do was look down at my crotch. It was about
to burst through the zipper in my fly."

	"I...I'm sorry I caused you so much discomfort. If I had known..."

	"What? You'd have said...'here's my cock...go to it!'?"

	"No...no, I wouldn't have spent the night. I mean, I KNEW you
wouldn't force me to do anything I didn't want...but..."

	"But what?"

	"I...I guess it's best that I think better about your offer to stay
here tonight..."

	"NO! I want you to stay...and I want you to feel safe. Hell, I'll
even sleep on the couch if you'll stay."

	"I'm afraid I'd feel too guilty, Thad."

	"Jesus Christ! I'm not putting you on trial. It's not like you're
guilty of ANYTHING! Do you think I'm gonna pronounce sentence on you and
execute you or something?"

	"It's not like that! I'd just feel guilty about disrupting your
sleep and, well, not being able to give you what you want."

	"David, why the fuck did you have to bring all this up? I WANT you
to stay as many nights as you like and I want you to know I'll never try
anything with you. I won't make ANY advances whatsoever!"

	"Let me think about it today, Thad, and I'll decide later. Who
knows, maybe you'll change YOUR mind by then. Let's leave it at that...?"

	"Fine, now let's eat up and I'll run you over to Steve's. However
you might not be as safe with him as you are with me...the old queen!"

	David laughed in sheer relief. After a moment, Thad joined him,
replaying what he had just said in his mind.


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	Preparing breakfast in the kitchen at St. Thaddeus began very early
for Chris and his three assistants, Andy Thompson, Tommy Hughes, and Jeff
Lawrence who helped prepare the first and last meals of the day. Lunch was
readied and delivered by three other young Buddy-Buggy constituents---Sammy
Whitfield, Martin Balfour, and Rich Crenshaw.

	The morning menus alternated between sweet rolls and coffee and
scrambled eggs, fake sausage and-or bacon, with canned biscuits, jelly
packs, and coffee. The sweet rolls and doughnuts were supplied as day-old
baked goods from Dunkin' Donuts or Krispy Kreme. The coffee came out of the
donated fund or sometimes out of Chris' own pocket. There were over
one-hundred stops to make on the daily routes...not everyone got three
meals-per-day...some two, while others, just one, depending on how much
nourishment the recipient needed.

	Often, Chris laughed to himself while looking at his helpers when
he thought perhaps he and his three guys resembled Santa Claus and three
elves. Andy lived with his parents but Tommy and Jeff had become more than
just friends and shared a tiny garage apartment together behind Jeff's
parents' house west of Buckhead, living as lovers. Their parents, being
active Catholics at St. Thaddeus, objected at first, but finally gave in
when it was apparent that it was impossible to keep the two apart. Jeff's
mother relented in her feelings about her son's relationship with Tommy and
had even furnished and decorated the apartment, as Tommy had no living
parents and the Lawrences had all but adopted Tommy, just not legally, and
Tommy soon became a substitute for their older son, Mike, who drowned
several years before in a boating accident on Lake Chickamauga in
Chattanooga. Tommy and Jeff may have been brothers in the eyes of Jeff's
parents, but the two boys were committed to be life partners.

	Andy was also gay, but had yet to come out to his parents. Before
Chris took them on as his assistants, he required all three...well, all
six, including the lunch crew, to get blood tests at the county health
department and a certificate allowing them to handle food. There was
another reason behind Chris' caution, he wanted to make certain that none
of his volunteer staff carried the HIV virus or any other kind of STD. Hep
C had become so widespread in the Atlanta area, it could easily go
undetected and there was no reason for taking the risk of spreading it to
his needy clients, especially if they were already sick with a virus or
ailment.

	Andy loved being with Tommy and Jeff, but it was almost impossible
for him not to be jealous or envious as he longed to have his independence
and a lover of his own. Tommy and Jeff didn't mind Andy accompanying them
on a date to the movies or an occasional visit to the 'Vane'. However at
the end of each evening, the two lovers went home to have sex or make love
and Andy went home to his stack of young men's magazines and his hidden
DVD's which he had bought in the bargain bin at TLAVideo.com.

	Chris allowed his boys to camp it up or make gay jokes when the
four of them were alone. He was very careful about his 'fatherly' attitude
toward them as he did not want a scandal to appear on the front page of the
Atlanta Constitution, 'Gay Priest Accused of Molesting Young Mission Food
Servers'. That would be the end of the meals program and its monetary
support from the community and members of his parish. Chris would only
'act' gay with them when no one else was around. As for Sammy, Martin, and
Rich, Chris wasn't around them as often and really didn't know if all or
any of them were gay.

	The three of them were supervised and transported in the church van
by Chris' boss, Father Dinsmore, a kindly priest in his late 50's, sporting
a full head of premature snow white hair. Chris hid his homosexuality from
Father Dinsmore, although, Father 'D' was probably aware of Chris' gay
feelings or tendencies, but Chris never discussed his sexual preference to
the older priest, not even in confession, primarily because Chris led a
chaste life and had nothing to confess.

	Chris assumed that in Father D's earlier years, he was or could
have been quite a ladies' man since he spent so much time at the Sister of
Mercy's hospital and residence. Father D. loved being around women...even
nuns. Chris thought it strange that, if a priest broke a vow and had a
clandestine affair or exhibited a penchant toward members of the opposite
sex, the public and even parishioners would often turn their heads, hiding
smiles at his fall from grace. But let a priest give anyone the notion that
he was interested in men or legal-age boys, and that was cause for
excommunication, or being sent to jail or prison.

	Chris was sometimes glad that Andy, Tommy, and Jeff got to observe
the illness that could manifest from unsafe gay sex...a kind of first-hand
education that better impressed on the mind than any learning in a book or
classroom. All three had had their eighteenth birthdays and all were
seniors, attending the same high school. The early Buggy Buddies shift had
to be completed by 7:30AM in time for the three guys to be at school by
8:30AM. They would return to the mission kitchen at 4:00PM to begin the
evening-meal trek.

	This morning, Chris had a heavy heart having seen Alex in the ER
the night before and, then just yesterday morning, losing Mark, one of his
dearest young friends. He had prayed for them before retiring and
afterwards, lying in bed meditating, he became perplexed that for some
reason he had found himself attracted to Mark's older and straight
brother. Chris hadn't experienced this feeling in a long, long while and
found that it disturbed him. He even contemplated a quick masturbation to
see if it was ease his unexplained quandary, but he fought the idea off and
found himself tossing, turning, and practically losing a whole night's
sleep.

	As he drove back to his quarters at St. Thaddeus the night before,
he had been slightly worried about leaving David to spend the night with
Thad. 'Surely, Thad wouldn't 'try' any indiscretion with David and surely
David would refuse any advance Thad might might make toward him.'
Yet...stranger things had happened, as Chris had learned from hundreds of
confessions he'd heard. Many straight men became 'bi-curious' with no
warning or expectation. Lord knows, Chris had been attracted to David, so
why should Thad be any different? Chris said a couple of short prayers,
hoping that David would not be tempted or yield to Thad's sexual appetite
if it showed it's ugly head...but then, why should that matter to Chris?
'Jesus! What a dilemma!' Chris thought to himself.

	When the breakfast delivery was finished, Chris dropped Andy,
Tommy, and Jeff at their school and then returned to his living quarters at
St. Thaddeus to shave, shower, tend to his personal hygienic ablutions in
time to serve the daily 9:00AM mass. After that, he changed out of his
vestments and put on his casual black pants, black shirt with a sewn-on
clerical collar and black jacket to go to pick up David at Thad's. He
decided to call Thad's first to get an intuitive sense if anything out of
the ordinary had happened between David and Thad. Thad answered to say he
had taken David to Steve's earlier and Chris decided it was best not to
pursue his suspicions...and off he went to Steve's to meet David by noon.

	Chris was not the only one with a suspicious mind.  When Steve
responded to David's knock on his door, he opened it, only to see Thad's
car driving away. Steve let David inside while giving him a leery
once-over.

	"Don't tell me you got arrested?" Steve sneered, jokingly.

	"Pardon?"

	"After you didn't show up or didn't call last night, I assumed you
got religion and converted to Catholicism with an all-nighter from the Food
Father."

	"No...it was a full evening, though. Chris took me to the Very
Close Vane..."

	"Good Lord! He DID convert you! Are you gay now?"

	David laughed. "Sorry !! No such luck! But the evening was quite
eventful. I saw my first female-impersonator show..."

	"It's called a drag show..."

	"Whatever...and we met Thad, the detective, outside the restaurant
after dinner."

	"Whoops! Things are getting juicier...Pray continue !"

	"Steve, it's not what you think. Thad had asked Chris to drop by
the bar and check on Thad's friend, Alex."

	"You mean Rudolph, the white-powdered nosed drain dear?"

	"Steve, Alex overdosed last night...he's dead." David said,
straight and seriously.

	"Oh my God! Jesus! How did you find out? I mean, what happened?"

	"Some friends of Alex's told the bartender that Alex had been
rushed to the county hospital. Chris and I made a mad dash to the ER and
saw Thad coming out of the door. He was all shook up as he had just found
out about Alex."

	"That fuckin' little princess! God, I hate it and I hate him for
'OD'ing."

	"Thad took the news very badly, and while Chris went inside the
hospital to do whatever priests do when someone dies, Thad and I began to
talk about Mark and Alex. By the time Chris came back out, Thad and I
decided to go for a drink and lend each other some support. Chris had to be
up real early for his breakfast patrol, so I went to Thad's apartment where
we drank and talked until it was almost too late for him to bring me back
here. So Thad was nice enough to let me spend the night at his place."

	"I hate being nosey, but I was born that way. Does Thad have a
spare bedroom?"

	"No, just one..."

	"He DOES have two beds, doesn't he?"

	"Just one...a rather large one...a queen size..."

	"Figures...!"

	"What?"

	"Please don't tell me you slept in the same bed with that hunky
Sipowitz!"

	"If you mean, did I sleep with Thad? Well, yes..."

	"My God in heaven! Did you stop by the clinic on the way here to
get tested?"

	"Tested? For what?"

	"Clap! Syphilis! Venereal warts! HIV! Pregnancy! That's it's what's
for!"

	"Steve, calm down! Nothing happened. I'm straight...Thad knew it,
too, and he respected my being hetero."

	"Jesus! David! Couldn't you have at least lied a little to give me
something to fantasize about?"

	"Sorry...we went to bed. I awoke and he had gone to McD's to buy us
breakfast, then he brought me back here."

	"Dear Lord! Before I got sick...I mean when I was disease-free, I
would've given up my appointment in hell's beauty parlor to have spent one
night with Thad. God! I can still get hard just thinking about him...those
smooth black pelts of hair peering above the neck of his undershirt...and
YOU! You meet him one night and a few hours later, you're in his bed for
the whole night...and not a goddamned thing happened?"

	"Sorry..."

	"You hetero's don't need to live in this world! You don't know how
to enjoy it!" Steve retorted while making David grin. "Please lie if you
have to...but did you see Thad naked? I mean...ALL of him?"

	"If it will feed your fantasies...then, yes...yes, I did see him
without clothes."

	"You just made my heart flutter! Tell me quick! Was it big? LIE, if
you must!"

	"Was what big? You mean his...his..."

	"His COCK! Was it a foot long...or maybe two feet, even?"

	David realized that only the truth would hurt, so he might as well
lie and give Steve a thrill. No doubt, Steve must have very few things to
thrill or excite him in his present physical condition. So David played
along..."Do you mean when he's got an erection or before, when he's
peeing?"

	"Oh, God, NO! Don't tell me you watched him pee...?"

	"He...he peed, right before he dried my back after I got out of the
shower!"

	"Oh, God! I MUST sit down! HE dried YOU off?"

	"Sure...my back was wet and he brought me a towel and proceeded to
dry me off."

	"You were naked...in front of him?"

	"I sure as heck didn't shower with my clothes on."

	"Did he...did he touch you?"

	"Steve, how else could he dry me without touching me?"

	"And then...?"

	"And then he handed me a t-shirt and a pair of his shorts for me to
put on...you know...to sleep in..."

	"I may die this minute!"

	"Calm down! Do you need one of your pills?"

	"Only Viagra...but I don't even need that now."

	"All right...if you're sure..."

	"THEN, what happened?"

	"I waited for Thad to take a shower and when he was finished, he
walked back into his bedroom to rejoin me...aand that's when I saw him
naked." David was building his story like a dime novel.

	"Did you dry him off?"

	"No, he was fully dry when he came into the bedroom."

	"Oh, my Lord!"

	"Then Thad turned out the lights and got into bed with me."

	"David, don't you dare lie to me now...what happened next?"

	"Well, I was lying on my back, staring at the black ceiling and
Thad turned over to face me..."

	"AND?"

	Just as David started to reply, Chris knocked on Steve's door.

	"Holy shit!" Steve cried out, then yelled at the door..."WHOEVER IT
IS AND WHATEVER YOU'RE SELLING, WE DON'T WANT ANY...NOT TODAY! NOT
TOMORROW! NEVER! SO GO AWAY!!!"

	"Steve?" Chris called through the shut door. "Steve, are you all
right?"

	"Good heavens! It's Jesus!" Steve exclaimed. "He must be here to
take me to God's Gay Bar!...'The Pink Feathered Cloud'. David, for God's
sake, don't forget where you stopped your story...I've got to hear every
word of every detail for my second 'cumming'!" Adjusting himself rather
obviously, he ran to the door and opened it, "Hello, Father Chris. Did you
come by to give me extreme unction?"

	"Only if you feel it's necessary," Chris replied. Then he saw David
and immediately got that same sinking feeling again in the pit of his
stomach. "Hello, David."

	"Hi, Chris."

	"I...I phoned Thad's before coming over."

	"Yes, he brought me here a few minutes ago."

	"That's what he told me," David paused to find the correct words to
say next, "Did...did you and Thad have a productive evening? I mean, did
you have a nice heart-to-heart supportive conversation?"

	"Boy! I'll say...oops!" Steve spoke before thinking, causing David
to blush.

	Chris looked at Steve then back at David cautiously. His curiosity
was at its peak. What did Steve mean and what in heaven's name had happened
between David and Thad during the sleepover?  Chris wondered, but thought
it best if he focused on the real reason for his visit.

	"Well, then..." Chris began, "I...I hate interrupting with matters
at hand, but, David, do you have a proposed agenda for today?"

	"Sorta 'semi'..." David responded.

	"Well, I'm all yours, so to speak until mid-afternoon when I have
to go back to the kitchen to start my evening chores...say, around 3:30, if
that'll be time enough to help you?"

	"Oh, I'm sure that will be plenty of time. I...I only have a couple
or three stops to make, and with your help, I'm sure we can get everything
accomplished," David replied.

	"Should we take your luggage with us or have you thought it through
as to where you'll be spending the night? You did mention yesterday the
possibility of checking into a hotel nearer downtown Atlanta...?"

	"I haven't decided just yet, but I WILL take my bag. just in case."

	"Then there's nothing I can do to lure you into spending tonight
with me?" Steve asked in a pseudo-sexy voice. "I mean, there are just loads
of things I would like to ask you...about Mark, of course..."

	"I appreciate your offer, Steve, and I just might take you up on
it, but until I get a few things settled with Chris' friend at the
mortuary..." David said, but turned to Chris, "We CAN visit him, can't we?"

	"I'd planned on it," Chris replied, "as a matter of fact, I took
the liberty of calling him this morning to make sure we could see him this
afternoon..."

	"That's fine, Chris. Thank you very much. That would take a huge
load off me once I get that much settled...then we can go to the morgue and
I'll give them my instructions."

	"All right then."

	"David, this is not the last time I'm gonna see you, is it?" Steve
asked, showing a bit of disappointment in his voice.

	"No, no, Steve, I wouldn't dare leave without letting you know my
plans... PLUS I might need a place to stay...if your offer is still on the
table?"

	"I wouldn't care if you stayed a month here. I would love having
your company and listening to more of your...your...listening to anything
you want to tell me. I seem to recall you were in the middle of a story
just before Father knocked on the door."

	"Steve, if I don't come by later...I'll make sure you hear the end
of my...my first night's visit in Atlanta."

	"Can't wait...!" Steve replied, surreptitiously.

	"If you two will excuse me, I'll go gather my gear," David
announced, leaving Steve and Chris alone in the living room.

	When David was gone, Chris looked at Steve and asked, "Can I ask
what you two were talking about before I came in?"

	"Oh, nothing much...just that I was inquiring about the details of
David spending the night with Thad."

	Once again, Chris' heart sank, "You...you don't think anything
inappropriate happened between them? I mean, David didn't say anything...?"

	"Father, your idea of 'inappropriate' and mine are on opposite ends
of the 'dating' meter."

	"You don't think that they...?"

	"I'm not sure, but I would've found out if you'd had a flat tire or
hit a telephone-pole before you rushed over here."

	"Oh, my Lord, I DO hope nothing happened. I'm sure you know Thad's
reputation..."

	"Pardon my being blunt, but do you mean, fuck 'em and leave 'em?"

	"I wouldn't phrase it QUITE that way...but..."

	"Father! Do I detect a tinge of sacramental jealousy? Is the 'holy
Father' guilty of impure thoughts concerning the brother of his dearly
departed friend?"

	"Steve, that's ridiculous. You know my vocation forbids me to even
have thoughts about that to which you're referring."

	"You're still a human being...and a man, Father. I can't speak,
'first-hand', but I'm sure priests awaken with morning wood the same as all
members of the male species."

	"Steve, if you knew anything about the priesthood, you'd know that
we are trained to resist human desires."

	"Whoo boy! You should tell that to all those former altar boys
suing the church for millions of dollars...or maybe it was the altar boys
with the morning wood during morning prayer. I suppose if a priest has a
wet dream, his semen is more in the form of sawdust!"

	"You are absolutely incorrigible, Steve Barrows!", Chris laughed.

	"Does that mean the boogey man is gonna get me?" Steve joked.

	"Probably! I'm sure your sexual history is known world-wide...and
into the next world. The 'boogey man' is more than likely waiting to see
you to have wild sex!"

	"When you were at seminary, did any of your instructors ever tell
you how long the boogey man's...?"

	"Oh, dear Lord, Steve, you're totally impossible."

	"You mean you never saw any pictures?

	Chris wanted to laugh out loud in his frustration, but fortunately
he was spared answering Steve's question as David reentered the room,
carrying his bag.

	"All ready!" David announced.

	"And not one moment too soon," Chris replied. "Steve and I were
getting into a deep discussion about theology and I really don't have time
to answer all his long, well-thought-out questions."

	"Father, we WILL resume this discussion later, won't we?" Steve
asked, a smirk was on his face.

	"Oh, I'm sure we will some day, but not today."

	David turned to Steve, "I...I want to thank you for your
hospitality and everything you did for Mark. I hope we get to talk more
later."

	"Me, too! There's so much I want to know...from BOTH of you!" Steve
retorted, looking at David and Chris. Then David gave Steve a big hug,
picked up his bag and went out the door with Chris.

	It was just barely after noon and the sun was beaming brightly on
the streets of Atlanta. Yesterday and last night, David's thoughts had been
colored by sorrow and he really hadn't noticed the metropolis of Atlanta.

	"Man, this city is big!" David said as Chris drove down one of the
numerous Peachtree streets.

	"It doesn't seem to stop growing," Chris replied. "One day, in a
decade or two, the Atlanta city limits will reach as far north as Tennessee
and as far south as Florida."

	"Looks like it already might. You could put one hundred River Oaks,
Virginia's, in Atlanta. I don't think I could ever get used to any city
this big."

	"Oh, you soon learn to habitate in your own small community, then
the whole sprawl of Atlanta doesn't seem quite so overwhelming."

	"Chris? Is there a drug store or convenience store on the way to
the mortuary?"

	"Several. Would you like me to stop?"

	"Yes. I'm afraid I packed in a hurry before I left and I need a
couple of toiletries...primarily some mouthwash."

	"Have you tried those new Listerine breath strips? They're
wonderful and so much quicker to use than breath mints. I keep a packet in
my pocket just before mass. I don't have to suck on a Tic-Tac for fifteen
minutes before serving mass."

	"Yeah, they're great!"

	Their conversation was light, but Chris' curiosity about what
happened at Thad's house last night was still uppermost in his mind and yet
he didn't want to make a deliberate show of prying.

	"David, how was Thad this morning? I mean, did the two of you have
a productive chat last night?"

	"The night began on a low note...each of us grieving over our
personal losses. Then, after an hour or so, our conversation became
more...how shall I put it...informative?"

	"Informative...?"

	"That was a bad choice of words. Thad and I began to open up on
various subjects and we got to know one another a bit better."

	"Oh?"

	"Nothing earth-shattering, just that I found out that the Atlanta
detective from New Jersey is not as rough and tough as he might appear to
some that he arrests. He's really got a soft heart beneath that brazen
façade he likes to exhibit. He's even got a romantic nature, but he's too
afraid to show it."

	"Romantic?"

	"Oh, not with me, of course, but deep inside, Thad wants to fall in
love, if and when the right guy comes along. After listening to the way he
felt about Alex...Alex was not the one for Thad."

	"I always assumed as much..." Chris replied. "Hey! Over there, on
the right, there's Bledsoe Pharmacy, you can get whatever you need there in
the way of toiletries. They have a huge selection."

	"Thanks, that'll be fine." Chris pulled his car into the Bledsoe
parking lot and David got out of the car. "You coming in?"

	"No, you go ahead and I'll keep the air-conditioning running in the
car."

	"I won't be long."

	David entered the large pharmacy and picked up a shopping basket
from the stack at the front door. Then he began to wander through the
aisles while putting many items in the basket which he really didn't
need. No one ever seems to buy just the one item he goes to shop for, as
was the case with David. Finally he reached the toothpaste/mouthwash
section and saw the breath strips on the second row from the bottom. There
was a young man standing with his back to David and he was practically
blocking the shelf to which David was trying to reach. The young man had a
large glass bottle of mouthwash and as he turned around, he stumbled into
David and almost fell over him. David looked up and the young man had a
stunned look on his face...then it turned nearly white as he looked at
David and he dropped the large glass bottle which shattered and sent glass
and the minty liquid all over the floor and David's trousers.

	The young man gasped, "Oh my God!...MARK?!!!" The young man was
frozen and couldn't move, as if he had seen a ghost. David first looked
down to see the damage the mouthwash had done to his pants and suddenly it
dawned on him that the young man had mistaken him for his dead brother. He
must have been a friend of Mark's.

	"I am SO sorry," the young man said, dropping to his knees to begin
picking up pieces of glass and wiping David's pants leg with his bare
hand. The young man didn't seem to notice that he had cut his hand on the
broken glass and blood was covering his palm.

	"You seemed to have hurt yourself," David said, calmly. "Here, take
my handkerchief and put some pressure against your hand!" David said,
reaching in his right hip pocket to retrieve a folded handkerchief.

	"I am so embarrassed," the young man said, "but you see, you look
exactly like a friend of mine...a very sick friend...who...who..." By this
time the young man was ready to break into tears.

	"I heard you call me 'Mark'...Mark Stanley? Is that the name of
your friend?"

	"Well...yes!"

	"I'm David, David Stanley, Mark's older brother. You know, of
course, that Mark is..."

	"Yes, I heard yesterday that he had died."

	"And you are?"

	"Randy, Randy Carpenter..."

	When David heard the name, he felt a slight chill of irony go
through his body. This was Randy...THE Randy...Mark's lover that Steve
talked about.

	"Nice to meet you, Randy...I...I spent some time yesterday at
Mark's house with Steve, whom I'm sure you know...he mentioned your name."

	"Then you know that Mark and I were...?"

	"Steve said you and Mark were very close."

	With the introductions out of the way, David began eyeing his
brother's former boyfriend. This was the guy Mark fell in love with and
David wanted to observe what there was about this young man that had
attracted his brother. David took a good look at Randy's face...it was
almost as beautiful as any woman's, but Randy's appearance was in no way
effeminate. Randy had dark skin with dark brown hair, almost black, with a
couple of curly tresses which came down over Randy's forehead. Randy's eyes
were dark with long velvety lashes, a perfectly shaped nose, and lips so
naturally red, one would almost believe they were enhanced by
lipstick...but there was no sign of makeup on Randy's face. Everything
about his face was natural...and perfect. Randy was approximately six feet
tall, about the same height as David and Mark, and he had an average build,
not too muscular but in no way thin.  Randy looked like a model for Gap
Clothing and, strangely enough, David was glad that Randy had good looks
and appeared to be the perfect specimen of a handsome young male. This was
the kind of guy Mark would have been attracted to...only what did Steve
say? 'Randy disappeared and never came to see Mark once he learned that
Mark had taken ill'.  'At least there was ONE flaw', David thought. 'Randy
might look like a model but he must be a shit to run out on his brother
when he needed him most'.

	Just then, the drug store manager came toward the aisle to find out
about the 'crash' and to see to the clean-up.

	"Sir, are you hurt?" The manager asked Randy.

	"Just a cut..." Randy replied.

	"Let me go get some antiseptic and a bandage and we'll have the
pharmacist take a look at it."

	"Please don't go to any trouble...I'll be fine."

	"Nonsense, let us take care of you. We want to make sure you're
alright. We don't need a lawsuit over a broken-bottle cut."

	"I am really sorry about that and I WILL pay for the mouthwash,"
Randy said, apologetically.

	"Hold on! I'll be right back!" The manager said, scurrying away to
get his first-aid treatment for Randy.

	"God! This is so embarrassing." Randy said to David.

	"Let him do his job," David said, with a slight smile. "This is
probably the most exciting thing that's happened to him all week...so don't
spoil it for him."

	"David...how long are you going to be in town? I assume you came
down here from Virginia."

	"A day or two..."

	"Is there...I mean, are you going to have a funeral service for
Mark in Atlanta?"

	"Funeral? No? I think Father Chris might be planning some kind of
memorial mass for Mark for...for his close friends."

	"The way you paused...I guess I'm not invited...?"

	"Why would you say that, Randy?"

	"I'm sure Steve must've told you that I walked out on Mark..."

	"He...he did say something along that line..."

	"Jesus! For such a long time, I'm wanted to talk to someone about
what happened and why I...but there was never anyone who wanted to speak to
me. No one ever heard my side of the story...about what Mark and I
decided..."

	"If I listen, would you tell me?"

	"Of course...but not here, standing in the middle of a drug store
aisle, bleeding like a pussy in heat."

	"Is there somewhere we could meet and talk later this afternoon or
this evening?"

	"Are you staying at a hotel?"

	"Not yet...right now, I'm not sure where I'll be spending the
night."

	"Listen, do me a favor...reach in my left back pocket and pull out
my wallet and get one of my cards. It has my home phone number, my cell,
and my beeper. Give me a call around five and wherever you are, I'll come
pick you up and we can go out for a drink or have dinner or something."

	David's first inclination was to say 'no', but getting to know
Mark's ex-lover would answer a lot of questions that David was quite
curious about. So, he reached for the wallet, extracted a card, and
promised to call Randy later. Their conversation ended when the pharmacist
and manager came running to attend to Randy's injury. Behind them was a
stock boy carrying a broom, a mop, and a dust pan. David left the 'crowded'
aisle and went back up front to pay for his items. Before he left the
store, David paused to turn to get one more look at Randy. Never in his
life, he realized, had he thought a man was beautiful, but Randy was the
exception. David could see what Mark saw in Randy, physically at least.
Then it dawned on David that he, too, found himself mysteriously attracted
to Randy.

	When David returned to Chris' car, he related the entire 'Randy
episode' to Chris and Chris showed no emotion, even though he was feeling a
bit dismayed at dropping down another rung in the list of people vying for
David's attention.

	"So you won't be spending the night with Thad? Does that mean you
want me to take you to a hotel?" Chris asked, being a nonchalant as
possible.

	"I haven't decided. I WOULD like to see Thad once more, just in
case he's feeling some remorse about Alex."

	"Do you think Randy knows you're straight?"

	"I don't think it would matter, I mean, it's not as if we were
going on a date...just a friendly conversation about someone we had in
common...someone we both loved."

	"It's none of my business and as a priest I shouldn't be saying
this, but don't be too beguiled by Randy's charm the way Mark was."

	"Chris, if I didn't know better, I could almost believe you're
jealous."

	"David, you know that's ridiculous!"

	"I know, but I was trying to make a joke anyway."

	Chris stopped his car in front of the mortuary and said, "We're
here. Now let me do all the talking and don't offer to pay for anything you
don't want."

	"Thanks" David replied while giving a second thought to the remark
he made about Chris...'WAS Chris jealous? Did Chris have more than a
friendly 'spiritual' interest in him?' David laughed to himself, thinking,
'Too bad I'm not gay. I've got men standing in line for me! Mark must be
somewhere looking down laughing hysterically!' Then his amusement dimmed at
the renewed sense of his loss.


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(To be continued in Chapter Five of "As I Remember Him."