From: mfz2@po.CWRU.Edu (Md. F. Zain)
Subject: Ben
Date: 23 Dec 1993 08:41:46 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)

     First appeared on Bill N' Bob's Place BBS of Cleveland, the story was 
inspired by Fantasy #550. I sat on this for three months before I found 
myself editing it again for the BBS, and then later re-edited it for 
Usenet. Kudos for whoever wrote the original story, which to this day, I 
don't know who that was and if it did actually happened. Basically 
expanding what had been written, I wanted to explore that other taboo of 
human nature (kinda found it kinky myself.. heh heh huh huh huh huh huh 
yeah uhm yeah. That's kewl) The original ending was pretty thin to be 
believable to me, but then I always seem to think of other subplots to 
make it believe. Still, in the process of re-editing it, I took out the 
corny parts, the parts which didn't work, repetitive or just out of 
place. The ending itself is an original piece, which never made it to 
the BBS release (Gee, I feel like I'm making liner notes for Ben SE...I 
think I know now how Cameron feels like...). 
	Given the constraints of my working directory in FN, I had to 
hack it up into four parts, though I think this is a wise choice because 
some sites have smaller drive space and that some working directory 
could be like mine. Also, given the fact that I could  actually sell 
this piece and make some money out of it, I decided to just hack it up. 
I have thought of how I should end this just in time for Christmas, but 
I'm not gonna get any sleep if I do that. Maybe I will. I don't know.
     I guess I was tired of the wham-bam-thank-you-sir kind of
story or those stories with cookie-cute-ass-muscular-hunk-with-a-
mother-fucker-of-a-dick that I decided to write a story of my
own. I tried to flesh out the characters a bit, trying to make it
as believable as I can given the circumstances they were in. A
first piece from me, since I never got to finish the other projects I 
started on. Oh well, at least I know I CAN finish what I started.
     Hopefully this will bring about some refreshing views on the
stories that can finally be an all encompassing experience for
all of us, make it straight, gay, bi's, TSs, TVs, fat, thin, old,
young, 12", 5" and other garden variety of people (everything is
beautiful, in it's on way.... huh huh huh huh huh uhm yeah.
That's a kewl song).
     On a final note: if you guys (or gals) ever decided on
trying this on your own (SHWING!!!) with your father(or mother)-
in-laws, go right aHEAD!!! *vink*vink* But just make sure you
have your rubber aka suit aka raincoat aka glove on... Not only
to prevent them from getting pregnant (well *shrug* you never
know these days), but also to protect your own Ben Catalano from
getting it from you or you from him/her. SafeR sex is the key.
     Ok. Guess you guys had enough of me ramblin'.
     We return you to our regular broadcast.
     *noise*snow*

	Well, I wanted to wait till I get input on this thing, but as I
wrote it I found out that the whole thing was too huge! Can't even fit my
ftp files space! So, instead of waiting for my friends to edit it, I just
say what the heck, and post it here.
	This story had appeared in a BBS before, and though it may seem
familiar, it ain't (you can call it an SE of the original release - LD
owners, rejoice!!). 

Frank

	All rights reserved. No part of this story may be used or
reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission by the      
author. This piece is a work of fiction. The characters, names, 
incidents, dialogue, and plot are the products of the author's 
imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons 
or events is purely coincidental.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

     Ben downed his last drop of beer with fervor. That was the
eighth one in a row. One more and I got to drag him out of the bar.
     We were at his favorite spot, where a couple of his friends
were. It was now late at night, near closing time, and most of his
friends were gone. Some who stayed weren't talking to him because
they know they wouldn't make any sense to him. He was drunk as a
skunk.
     He ordered another one, his last one. What amazed me was that
he knew that his ninth glass of beer would always be his last one.
I don't think a drunk could keep the score. Freddy nodded, filled
the glass up, and gave it to Ben. I just sat there next to him with
my club soda half empty, watching as he looked broodingly in his
glass. His shoulders hunched, his hair a bit tussled, but his
clothes was as neat as the moment he stepped in the bar. One other
thing that I could never figure out.
     He drew in a long breath before he picked up the glass, put it
on his lips and drank it. Gulp by gulp it went down his throat. He
stopped to take a breath, and went back at it again till the glass
was empty for the last time that night.
     Not a drop of beer was spilt.
     He wiped the beer from his lips and moved his right hand
slowly upwards across my shoulders. 
     "Come on son. Let's go back." 
     He pressed his body against mine, a signal to me that he
couldn't stand straight and that he needed my help to support
himself. He was too proud to ask me in front of his friends in his
favorite bar. It would not be manly. That was not his style.
     I slammed the door for him after sitting him up slowly and
securing him with the seat belt. The night was cool with a slight
breeze, a good night for the fall season. It was pleasant enough
for a walk down the park, a luxury I didn't have anymore. 
     I took my seat, put on my seat belt, turned on the engine, and
looked at Ben. His head was drooping and his hands were motionless,
but he was not sleep. I could hear him breathing and wondered if he
was comfortable sitting like that. I stepped on the gas and the
engine roared.
     It had been two months now since Lisa, my wife, died from a
robbery attempt gone awry. She died instantly, I was told, and had
been lying on the bank floor for almost thirty minutes before
stand-off was over. I was at work when the police informed me. Ben
was on a plane to Cleveland when I told him about it, half an hour
before the scheduled landing. Hopkins International Airport had
landing delays and the flight landed thirty minutes late.  One full
hour of being alone, crying on a plane full of strangers.
     I wish I could have been on the same flight as he was. At
least we could have cried in each other's arms when we found out
about it. I could still hear him crying when we hugged at the
terminal.
     Lisa was all he had left, the only daughter that the Catalano
ever had. She was his little angel, a rose he would save if it had
fallen in an abyss. He was hurt when Abby left him for another man,
a younger man that she kept for years. He turned to us for support
and now that he had no one else to turn to, he turned to beer and
me, his son-in-law.
     I never should have married Lisa. She was too kind, too
patient, too loving for me to ever return her love back. She was
very understanding when, after eight years of marriage, I came out
to her even though I never shared a bed with another man since we
got married. It was one of the most stupid things that I had ever
done, bowing to social and family pressures to be a husband. She
never told anyone, and neither did I. I gave her all the financial,
emotional, and sexual needs that I could give, but I knew she was
hurt because she knew I was unhappy. 
     One night when I was inside her, among the things that I
promised her I would do in our arrangement, she stopped me halfway
and held me close. I started to cry, and then she cried too. After
that we just held each other till we fell asleep, reminiscingm and
pondering. We decided that it was best if we kept it going, at
least till our two little kids know better. Now that she's gone,
all was lost.
     I turned off the engine and got out of the car. Ben's head was
still drooping and he was drooling slightly. I put his arm over my
shoulder and put mine across his back. I pulled him close to me and
slowly brought him to his feet. It took me awhile to balance this
massive man and myself on our feet, but I managed to do it. With my
free hand, I slipped it into his pants and found the keys where he
always kept it, in his right pocket. I unlocked the front door and
went in.
     I turned on the lights and looked around the room as I dragged
him in. Perhaps Ben was so depressed because he still lived in this
house that the once happy family lived in. It was the Catalano's
one and only home, the one they duely paid their mortgage on, and
the one they brought up their daughter in. It was also the house
where we had our wedding party at and where our two children were
born in. This house that was once so full of life was now so empty.
     I took to the stairs and wondered how many more nights must I
do this. Even though it didn't happen all the time, I didn't
appreciate the fact that I was spending my weekend nights over at
my father-in-law's house. I had my own home too, and children to
take care of. I had work to get done, garden to tend to, lawn to
mow and garage to clean up. And I need to mourn the loss of Lisa,
my friend and the mother of our children, that I never got finished
doing. Fourteen years was a long time to be with somebody.
     I struggled to reach Ben's room which was way down the hall.
His feet kept dragging on the carpet and it was hard to keep our
balance up. The room was dark except for the lights from the
streetlamps outside. It helped me made out the large bed right in
the center of the room. Slowly I sat him up on the bed and turned
on the bedside lamp. I plumped up the pillows for him and gently
laid his head on it. After pulling his dangling feet from the side
of the bed and putting it on the mattress, I took off his shoes and
socks one by one. Ben could not sleep with his socks on. 
     I was done for the night.
     I could not go back to my house. Ben was drunk and he would
need help in getting to the bathroom the next morning. I had to
standby outside of the bathroom in case he falls down while taking
his shower. Somebody had to make a pot of strong coffee, and make
sure he didn't fall off the stairs from the hangover. For somebody
who had been in in control all of his life, I knew he hated me for
being there. But I had to, because we only have each other.
     As I was about to leave the room, to head to the spare bedroom
next to the masterbedroom, I caught the light from the bedside lamp
reflected on the dresser's mirror. I knew I had forgotten
something. I walked back to the bed and reached for the switch. Ben
was breathing slowly, half asleep in his drunkenness.
     Then something happened.  


Part 2

     It was the first time I had ever took a good look at Ben as a
man, a person of my sex. His greying black hair, sweeping to the
side, looked wonderful in the light. His closed eyelids seemed
peaceful, hiding those bright blue eyes that he and Lisa had in
common. His nose arched delicately, adding to the warm appearance
of his face. His full greying beard was heavenly soft, that tickled
me when he first hugged me years ago. And his lips was sensuously
smooth, unlike no other lips I had seen in my life. He was
beautiful. By God, he was so beautiful.
     I noticed how he smelled. His slightly opened shirt exposed
the furry greying hair, which blanketed most of his wide chest. His
muskiness rose up from his warm body through the shirt, filling my
nose with the sweet, erotic smell of man I had forgotten. I cupped
both of my hands to my nose, and savored the intense smell of him.
Ben Catalano, the drunk I took care of for this past few months,
the man I knew as my father-in-law, had brought back that powerful
sexual desires in me. 
     And it's too goddamn strong to hold back. 
     My bulge was growing and my cock was aching to be worked on.
I stood there shaking, knowing that I was about to commit myself
into having my way with Ben. It was just a matter of time before it
happen. God! I never felt so horny in my life, watching this burly
man sleeping. Goddamnit!
     I unbuttoned my shirt quickly, almost to the point of tearing
it off. The pain in my crotch needed relief, and it needed the
relief fast. I unbuckled my belt and unzipped my pants. Being half-
naked brought temporary relief, but my hard cock still strained
against my underwear. I looked down at my belly and noticed the
weight I had gained cause by stress since Lisa's death. It didn't
matter, Ben wasn't going to complain. If he did, I'd shut him up.
I stumbled to the floor, banging my knees to the carpet, my shoes
did me in. Ben opened his eyes slowly.
     "John? Is that you? What are you doing over there?" he said
slowly.
     I knew he could see me clearly, naked to the calves, trying to
get my shoes and socks off. I wanted to say something, but my ache
for him was too much. I needed to take Ben now. Soon I was free of
all my clothes.
     I got up and straddled him, my hands pulled his shirt up, my
shaking fingers worked swiftly to unbutton his shirt, my exposed
butt resting on his stomach, my knees on his side. The more I
worked on it, the harder I got. Ben was now awake in his
drunkenness, looking down at my fingers as they did his last
button. He looked at me, but I couldn't look at his face now. If I
did, I wouldn't be able to contain myself. Ben look at my nakedness
with apprehension, and more so as he felt my throbbing cock touched
his stomach. I eased downward and fumbled with the zipper, almost
crying out in anger as I did. He got more nervous as I pulled his
pants down hard, snagging at the knee but finally made it through.
I looked at the underwear that he had on, and Ben looked at it too.
I could tell that he was scared now, and fought hard to get his
faculties together. I yanked the underwear before his hands could
get a grip at it, and pulled it free. Now we were both naked.
     "John, what are you doing? What the hell are you trying to do
to me?" His eyes were wild. He wanted to get up, but I pushed him
down hard and felt my fingers tickled by the thick chest hairs. Ben
just laid there in shock, surprised as to the turn of events,
afraid of what was coming next. His hand moved to cover his
genitals, ashamed of being naked with me in such a compromising
position, though in reality he wouldn't call it a compromise.
     I let my face crash down on his pubic hair, smelling his
sweat. Never did a man smelled so good to me. I kissed it, and
moved lower to his balls, forcing his hands away with my face. I
took one sac in my mouth, and amazed myself how I almost forgot how
it feels like. Ben's hands was at my ears, not moving, afraid of
inciting me any further. His soft dick kept leaning against my
cheeks, making me hotter than ever. I sucked through the length of
it, tasting whatever it was at the tip of his dick. He didn't move,
nor did he groaned. It was just too much for my cock.
     I had to find some kind of slick, wet liquid for lubrication.
My brain raced, trying to think of something that was slippery and
slick. Then I remembered the way Ben's hairs melled. He had to be
using some sort of greasy hair cream, and from the way his hair
looked, the cream was what I needed. I hurried to the bathroom and
opened the medicine cabinet. The hair cream was in a big container,
more than enough for me. I took it and returned to the bedroom.
     Ben tried to move again, trying clumsily to get up.
     "Don't you move Ben, not unless you want me to hit you." 
     It came out of my mouth as if I had said that to a hundred men
before. Instinctive.
     "I mean it."
     Ben looked at me, his eyes blank with shock. Only then did I
looked back. I was lusting for him, wanting to be inside him,
knowing that the more I wait, the more it hurts. And then he caught
on and knew what I was about to do to him.
     "Please John. Don't do it please. Please. Please..."
     If Ben trembled, I didn't see it. I gazed long and hard at his
eyes. He was scared shitless. I looked down at his naked, beautiful
body. His chest was full with hair that I would have loved to
snuggle to. It lead down to his groin. I looked at Ben's limp dick,
resting against his balls. If it was in different circumstances, I
would have loved to have it in my mouth, to let it grow hard, to
move my lips up and down its shaft until he filled up my hungry
mouth with semen. But that was not the case now. I had to make
myself come. I had to relieve my manhood inside of him and share
with him my seed.
     I took my place between his legs and pushed his hairy legs
apart as far as it could go. His hands had came back to his
genitals, protecting it like a nest. I took off the lid on the hair
cream container and had in my hand a big gob of greasy cream in my
hand. Cupping my hands, I shoved it between Ben's legs, below his
hanging balls. He took a sharp breath as he felt my hands feeling
him there, greasing his ass hole and cheeks. I took several quick
jabs with my middle finger into his ass and heard him gasp. I
looked up and saw him straining to see what I was doing to him
there. His face now showed traces of fear I had not seen on him
before. There was some grease left in my hand, and I grabbed my
cock with it. God, it felt good. It had been so long, so goddamn
long. I stroke it up and down, making sure that it would be a
smooth entry for me. Ben looked on as I played with myself for a
brief while. It felt good to have him watch me.
     I moved in closer. His eyes grew wide as he looked at the
shiny greased cock, hard against my stomach, pointing directly
towards his face. My hands intruded his nest. He persisted but I
knew I was stronger. I played with his limp dick roughly,
lubricating it with what grease I have left but my hands didn't
stay long. It crept up to his belly, feeling again his chest, and
then moved to his hands. With one swift move, I thrusted my body to
his, my hairy legs against his, my throbbing cock against his limp
dick, and my chest to his. His arms were pinned hard up above his
head. The only parts of our bodies that didn't come in contact yet
were our faces, and my hard cock and his asshole.
     "Please don't do this. Please John, please please don't do
this," he pleaded. I didn't like to see him plead, this strong man
I admired and craved for. My face moved closer to his. 
     "Please John, please..." He cracked, and I saw tears rolling
down his cheeks. Right then I wanted to stop, hated to see him that
way. Somehow I didn't.
     "This won't take long."


Part 3

     I shifted my hips upwards. I pushed his legs open, and heard
Ben breathed out. My legs got underneath his and I made his legs
rest on mine, and then I shifted my hip upwards, bringing his ass
up from the bed. My hands pinned his, stopping it from punching the
lights out of me. Then I lowered my back, only this time beneath
his balls. I pushed slowly to get to where I wanted, to the little
hole that he had. After much probing around, I finally found it
because the hole puckered up upon contact. His eyes grew wider when
he felt me there. His legs wanted to close up, his hands wanted to
break free. But I knew that I had him, and he knew that too. His
tears were rolling down fast, his face becoming more pleading.
     I couldn't take any more of this.
     I pressed my lips hard against his, feeling him resisting me,
trying to move his head away. My insides were burning as I felt his
beard on my face. He kept on moving his head, avoiding me. He was
making it harder for me because all of my muscles were being used
to hold him down.
     Except one.
     I stopped pushing my lips, just letting it rest on his. With
one breath, I pushed my way in his ass as hard as I could. He
opened his mouth to cry out, wanting to scream and right there I
seized my moment. I pressed my lips hard on him. He tried to shut
his mouth back but my presence before his ass made his jaws gave
away. I pushed my tongue deep inside him, feeling the sides, the
teeth, and the tongue. I could hear his muffled scream as the pain
of being fucked for the first time overwhelmed him.
     I pushed my rigid cock further in his ass. Damnit, I didn't
get pass the sphincter yet. He was so tight that I took a couple of
strained breaths between kissing him and fucking him. Then I felt
myself inched in slowly, and Ben's muffled scream became louder.
The more I push, the more I felt alive. And the more he screamed.
I took one last lunged, and finally got my cock head through.
     I breathed in hard, the effort took a lot from me. Ben was
screaming. I was sure it must have hurt. I tried to stay still
inside of him, not wanting to push forward and hurt him more. I
played inside his mouth with my tongue, and I could feel his tongue
touching the ceiling of his mouth, trying to bring meaning to the
words he screamed. I felt his hot tears touching my cheeks. It
would continue to flow until his ass would accomodate me.
     I laid on top of him quietly, trying to prevent him from
moving any part of his body, trying to stop his screaming, trying
to stop his crying. I waited. 
     Eventually the screams died down until it became a whimper.
     I looked up and saw traces of dried tears covering his cheeks.
I wanted to wipe it away, but I couldn't. His hands were still
struggling and I couldn't risk that. Ben was breathing slowly. I
looked at him in the eyes. He was hurt, angry and ashamed. 
     I decided to press on further, and I did, slowly. I groaned
with every inch I gained inside of him. Arching my head up, I
pushed on further until I couldn't, until his ass had taken all of
me. I looked down, and saw that he had closed his eyes when I
pushed deeper in him, grinding his teeth as the thought of me
inside him occupied his mind.
     That was when I realized that the old Ben had came back. He
had fought not to cry out against my being deeper in him. He had
fought not to give in to my pleasure. He was being the man I knew
him as, the man who would take anything astride and letting it slip
through him even though it hurt him, even though he hated it. He
had gained his pride back, the pride he lost when he took to the
beers and the bottle. He had himself in control.
     Ben opened his eyes moments after, and then looked at me. He
was still scared of what I could do to him and he was still hurting
that I was inside him, but he wasn't willing to give in. His thighs
tried to close on me but instead of keeping me out, it kept me in.
His hands had more strength in it, and though he couldn't overcome
his drunkenness, he tried. 
     And I felt proud of him. 
     And he didn't understand why.
     His hairy body brought me back to our twisted position. His
thighs tickled mine. His chest comforted me. Our arms locked
together forming a forced bond created by the situation we were in.
I tried to kiss him but he moved his head away. I tried a couple
more times to no avail. He had his pride back, and he didn't want
to let his son-in-law kiss him full in the mouth with lust like he
did minutes ago. I didn't want to press on much longer, so I rested
my cheek against his and smelled his sweet smell. His hair smelled
of the same grease that I had on both of us. It all felt wonderful.
     I pulled my cock out of him. Ben grunted. I pushed it back in
as slowly as I did before and heard a deep growl. It felt good, his
pride did what he didn't want him to do, pleasuring me more. He
puckered his ass when I pull out, and let it go when I enter him
back. I breathed hard. Ben growled and grunted. As I pumped into
him in rising speed, I let my chest just barely touching his, our
chest hairs lightly caressing each other. I became excited even
more. My stomach had rested on Ben's dick, and with every move I
made, it pressed on harder against it. 
     And then I heard him moan, and felt a stirring at my stomach.
I didn't know what it was but I kept on pumping and let his pride
pleasure me with its control. But the moaning became insistent as
the tempo built up. The stirrings became noticeable, its physical
presence could not be ignored. Something was moving there and it
wasn't me. And then slowly it grew and Ben groaned more. He growled
deeper, and grunted faster, almost up to my tempo. I raised myself
a bit to allow the stirrings to get out of my way and then pushed
back in. 
     That's when I noticed his hard-on. It rested between his pubic
hair and my stomach, pressed between the two. It was hard and the
friction from our bodies was making it harder. Ben breathed in
harder, and I felt less resistance to my pumping him full in the
ass. His arms grew weaker, his legs less restricting. He moaned
louder with each push I made inside him, and he moaned longer when
I pulled out. I wondered if he was in tempo with me or I with him.
With every stroke I made, he groaned. It was louder than mine. I
didn't moan at all, trying to keep things down, didn't want to
disturb the neighbors. But his moaning grew louder and louder all
the time.
     I looked up to his face and saw him closing his eyes. His
mouth was quivering, his tongue slid out and wet his lips. The
lights shone on our wet bodies. Ben never looked more beautiful. It
felt good being that close to him. It felt good being inside him.
It felt good feeling him down there against my stomach. 
     His eyelids were still closed. I could see the lines of age,
of wisdom, of hardship, of pain, and of happiness. It trembled with
every stroke I made, with every moan I hear. I could hear him
breathing, taking in as much of air as it could. He grunted and bit
his lips, gritting his teeth as he growled. He mouth was opened and
I could feel his breath when he moaned. 
     All of this made me realized that I was falling for him.
     I wanted to say this to him. I wanted to stop fucking him and
just lie next to him as close as I could. I wanted to kiss him. Ben
moaned, groaned and grunted. His lips quivered. I longed to taste
it again. I wondered if he'd let me kiss him now. Slowly,
carefully, cautiously, I lowered my lips and let it touched his. I
could hear him louder now, and with every noise he made, I wanted
to express my love to him. 
     But I couldn't. I just couldn't. It felt out of place.
     I wanted to stop.
     Ben opened his eyes and I could see those bright blue eyes
shining, bouncing off the light, looking so pure and contented. I
let myself drown in his eyes, wanting the moment to last. He looked
at me and I felt that his eyes were searching deep in my soul. I
never felt more vulnerable than at that moment. I pressed my lips
harder, my head felt heavy from the weight of his gaze. His lips
persisted.
     I wanted to stop.
     Then, suddenly, his lips slowly gave away as he let me kiss
him. My tongue rushed to caress the insides of his mouth, but I
stopped it between my lips. His eyes were still on me when I felt
his tongue come out from his lips. It came alive when it met mine
and he pushed it inside my mouth. He bucked his ass up my cock. I
groaned loudly. He closed his eyes and moaned. 
     We picked up our tempo. I couldn't stop making the wonderful
noises that he was making too. I let go of his hands and slided
mine underneath his shoulders. I wanted to be one with him, I
wanted to stay with this man that I love, wanting to have him
forever by my side. I pumped harder and faster. He raised his knees
further up, wanting more of me inside of him. His feet came up to
my butt, pushing my cock harder in his ass. Our groans were loud
and were the sweetest of sounds I had ever heard. I felt Ben's
hands moving down my shoulders, travelling down to my hips and then
to the small of my back. He pushed me harder inside of him, guiding
me to reach that final point of pleasure we both wanted so much. I
did what his body told me to do. 
     I broke off the kiss and gently nuzzled my cheeks to his. I
found his ears and nuzzled at it before lashing out my tongue in a
wild frenzy when I felt I was close. His moan became cries of
pleasure. His hands moved up my back, rubbing my shoulders, pulling
me down, pushing me forward. Ben tried to lick my ears, but he
couldn't. He cried louder and faster and grabbed me tighter and
tighter close to his body. He was too damned close to care about
the neighbors and neither was I. I pumped short hard strokes inside
of him, wanting, aching to release all I have inside of him.
     I felt his dick throbbed one last time. Ben gave out a loud
cry as he splattered our bodies with his thick cum. I felt a warm
wet sticky feeling on my chest and realized that I was too close to
stop. His ass puckered up with every spray of cum he pumped. This
drove me to the edge as I pulled out of him for the last time. My
balls pulled close to my body and I felt the feeling growing inside
with a great force.
     Ben pushed me closer to him, engulfed in his own pleasure, his
head tilted up. I gave him one last stroke with my hips, burying
myself deep inside him. That was all it took. I felt my balls
jerked, and my cock grew harder. I cried out and came inside Ben,
filling his ass with my semen, my throbbing cock spewing it with
what I got. My mouth landed sloppily on his exposed neck, biting
him as if it would help end my orgasm. My hips pumped
instinctively, trying to get the most of it somehow. Ben groaned
still, his hole milking me for all I had.
     Finally my cock grew soft.
     I felt his grip on me loosen. I saw a bit of his semen on his
beard just underneath the chin. I licked it up, not wanting to
waste any of it. He tasted good. Ben let out a low growl. I looked
up. His eyes were droopy but I knew he still could see me. I kissed
him lightly and felt his tongue probing my mouth. His hands pushed
my head harder to his mouth. I sucked on his tongue, then pulled at
it before nuzzling back to his beard. His grip on me began to
loosen with every breath he took. He tried to stay up, trying to
hold me tight as he did. But he couldn't, and soon fell asleep. My
head drifted too, till I fell asleep on top of him, our lovemaking
drained us out of energy.


Part 4

     It was morning, and I had been up for more than an hour. I
held Ben in my arms and heard him breathing. The nightstand lamp
was still on but the morning sun silenced it with its brilliance
and intensity. Still, the morning couldn't help me with my
feelings. I was in love with Ben, and I was not sure if the man I
was with last night would be the same one that I held close to me
now.
     Ben stirred, and turned to his side. His arm was across my
body, his head was on my chest. His greying hair looked messy, but
I didn't care. He looked beautiful. I looked intently at him,
wanting him to wake up and to see his warm smile again, but afraid
that he would leave me if he remembered what we had happened. I
kissed him on his forehead and then his lips. A red mark on his
neck testified to what we had done. 
     He opened his eyes. The hangover got to him first. He winced
when his blue eyes saw the morning sun. He was adorable.
     "Good morning," I said, anxiety full in my voice. God knows I
didn't want to lose my father-in-law.           
     "Mornin'," he said begrudgingly, his head resting on my chest.
That was the usual way he talked in the morning when he had
hangover. But then, this was not the usual morning. He glanced at
where his arm was and where his head was resting. It took him a
while to remember.
     "You son of a bitch! How could you? Fucking bastard! You raped
me! You Goddamn raped me!"
     I heard enough. I held him tightly to me so that he couldn't
move a muscle. His right arm was pinned beneath him, and his left
was around me.
     "Let go of me you Goddamn faggot! You fucking disgust me! Let
go of me Goddamnit! Let me go!" 
     He trashed about with his body, shaking the bed violently. His
left hand hit me at the back, pounding me like I was a drum. He
kicked his legs against mine, hitting it like a heavy plank. It
hurt like hell. Ben was not somebody you'd want to pick a fight
with when he's sober. I almost cried out in pain.
     "John, let me go! Fuck you asshole! Let me go!"
     "Ben, shut up for a moment will you?"
     "Why should I, ya Goddamn faggot. You fucking raped me! Damn
you John! You Goddamn queer!"
     "Ben, I don't want the neighbors to hear this. So shut up."
     "Why don't you try to fuck me right now and see if you could
make me take it ya bastard. Let me go Goddamn it! I don't wanna be
near you! I don't wanna smell your-"
     "Shut up Ben. Please"
     "-Goddamn stinking fucking faggotty body either. Let me go
Goddamn it! Let me-"
     "Ben, shut the fuck up!!" I shouted.
     He cringed in pain and curled his body up, covering his ear
with his free hand. His face showed me that his hangover was taking
effect. Dammnit! I shouted damn too loud and too fucking close to
his ears. I didn't want to hurt him.
     I pulled him up close to me. His hand was now at his temple,
the pain was enormous. I could hear his heart pumping fast. I
rubbed his shoulders to calm him down and for a minute or so the
pain seemed to have subsided. Then he kicked me again, harder this
time, at the right calf. Damnit, it hurt. I tried not to cry out.
I hold him tightly again, this time tighter than before.
     "Shit Ben, that hurt."
     "The fuck I care. Goddamnit!! Let me go you sorry fucked-up
son-in-law!!"                       
     "Shut up!"
     I shouted louder this time and we were much closer too. Ben
cried in pain. He cringed again, and curled his leg up to mine. His
free arm held out as if I was about to hit him on the head.
     God.
     "I'm sorry, ok?" I rubbed his arms, shoulders and back slowly.
His eyes welled up. A tear fell down his cheeks to my chest.
     "I'm sorry. I'm so Goddamn sorry." 
     I put my head on top of his, brushing his hair. 
     "I'm sorry." 
     I pulled him closer to me and tried to embrace him. 
     "I'm so sorry." 
     He was sobbing from the pain his hangover caused him and from
the realization of the things that happened last night. 
     "God, I never wanted to hurt you." Tears fell down my face,
and it flowed softly to Ben's hair. "God I'm sorry. I'm so fucking
sorry Ben..."
     The sun shone brightly. Sparrows flew by across the window.
The morning had started for some of the commuters out there. It was
still too early for most people in the area. It would take more
than an hour before the rush hour started. A siren could be heard,
most probably an ambulance from the sound of it. The faint sound of
a train coming through the neighborhood echoed in the room. The
clock in the hallway chimed.
     We huddled together for a long time. Ben was still sobbing,
though not as loud as before. I was stroking his hair, my mind
aimlessly trying to make a point, wanting to say the right things.
The silence was deafening.
      "Ben, I'm sorry I took advan- I'm sorry I raped you last
night. I know I shouldn't have done it. Fuck, I shouldn't have done
it. Fuck it." 
     Goddamnit John.
     I tried to come up with words that could show him how I felt.
I never felt more ashamed of being gay in my entire life than I was
at the moment. "But I...I'm sorry..." I paused.
     "I love you Ben."
     I looked at him, and how he was hurting, and wished to God
that it never happened.
     He opened his eyes. A line formed on his forehead.
     "John?"
     "What?"
     Ben held his head up and looked at me right in the eyes. He
never looked more innocent and more vulnerable. He was hurting, and
he was angry.
     "Shut the fuck up." He tugged at my arms, urging me to wrap my
body around his. "Just hold this sorry fucked-up father-in-law of
yours, ok?" he whispered. "Just hold me close."
     Silence.
     "John?"             
     "What?"
     "I deserved it. All of it. But," he looked up to me, and his
eyes told me what he was thinking, "But I don't think I deserve
you." A tear rolled down his cheeks.
     He looked up at me and with one swift move, gave me a tender
kiss. I kissed back. There was nothing more to say.
     He was in love.
     And so was I.
     "John?"
     "What?"
     "Nothing. I just feel...God this is weird."
     I smiled and kissed him once more.
     "Stop kising me, you're disrupting my train of thought." He
grinned. "God, it's weird enough to say it to a woman, and now it
feels...But." The grin turned into a smile, the first since Lisa's
death. "Yeah, I think I love you too."
     He kissed me. 
     "No, I know I love you."
     Ben shifted his body a little. "Ouch ouch ouch."
     "What's wrong? You're ok?"
     "Yeah. Just," he gritted his teeth as he felt another pain as
he shifted again, "just - ouch. Shit." He paused. "It's nothing."
     "You sure?" I looked at him, concerned at the suddenness of
this pain. I don't remember him having any pains in the morning
before. 
     "Yeah." He looked up and saw my worried face. "I'm ok.
Really." He smiled, which made me smile a little. "I'm ok. Just
need to stop drinking too much from now on."
     "Why?
     "So that I can make you fuck me like you did last night
instead of having to ask you to," he grinned slyly.
     "Is that an invitation?" I looked at him with a dirty look in
my eyes.
     "Maybe."
     "Maybe." I reached for his hands and kissed it. "Do I need to
drop on my knees and beg you?" 
     His neck straightened out and his lips found mine. The kiss
took my breath away. "Son. John. Baby. Sugar. Or whatever I should
call you now."
     "Daddy."
     "Daddy eh?"
     I grinned. 
     "Whatever turns you on...Daddy." He rolled his eyes. "Though
I'd rather honey."
     "Really?"
     "Yeah, so that I can lick you all up." He smiled again. "Well,
you should drop on your knees alright, but I think there are more
interesting things to do while you're on your knees than begging."
He shot back a dirty look at me.
     I mocked a sigh. "Oh boy. Only one night and he's already a
full-blown faggot."
     "Hmmm."
     "Pun intended."
     We laughed.