Date: Thu, 20 Oct 2005 02:42:37 EDT
From: RitchChristopher@cs.com
Subject: briarwood:briarwood-lost-34

All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or
are offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language,
please exit now.

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                                  "BRIARWOOD"
			 Copyright Ritchris, 2005

                          aka "Whence Cometh My Help"
			 Copyright Ritchris, 2002

                                Revised Version


                                A dramatic saga

                                      by

			       Ritch Christopher

                                  <><><><><>

                                   BOOK THREE

                                "BRIARWOOD LOST"

                              Chapter Thirty-Four

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	Roger had been in a coma for three days. His official diagnosis was
deemed a subarachnoid hemorrhage. Usually when much bleeding occurs, death
is eminent. But Dr. Beryl Reisman had performed a procedure called, coil
embolization. During this surgery, a small tube is inserted into the
affected artery and positioned near the aneurysm. Tiny metal coils are then
moved through the tube into the aneurysm, relieving pressure on the
aneurysm and making it less likely to rupture. This procedure is less
invasive and is believed to be safer than surgical clipping, although it
may not be as effective at reducing the risk of a later rupture. The most
important thing was that Roger had pulled through the surgery and was
alive...not awake, not lucid, but still alive.

	Cliff stayed by Roger's side ever since Roger had been taken down
from surgery to a recovery room, then later to a private hospital
suite. Cliff had reached the peak of exhaustion and Jay and Troy were
almost as worried about Cliff as they were about Roger. At least Roger's
vital statistics were being monitored and were remaining in a normal
range. The same could not be said about Cliff.

	Priests from surrounding parishes, whom had assisted Cliff with
confessions while Cliff went to New York to see Rob and Timmy were now
dividing Cliff's duties at St. Genesius with all the assistance each could
provide. Jay pleaded with Cliff to go home, shower, take a nap, or at least
get away from the strain of seeing Roger in a comatose state. Cliff
refused. Finally, Jay got Walter to persuade Cliff to leave the hospital
for a while by promising he, Walter, would stay by Roger's side and would
call Cliff immediately to report any change...good or bad.

	Kyle called Jay to keep the two households in touch with each
other. The two guys seemed closer as they both had lost their same lover,
Lonnie, to AIDS just a few years before. Their second connection was that
they both had been infected, but not at the same time...but in the same
way, by the same person. Neither of them had ever or would've been as close
to Lonnie as Roger was to Cliff, but at least they could empathize with
Cliff as they each drew from his archives of emotional recall. Walter,
Alex, and Ted had been more concerned over Jeff's reaction to Roger's
sudden illness and thought the worst by remembering his mother's quick
death when she became bed ridden.

	"How long has Jeff been in his room?" Jay asked,

	"Ever since the police found him, the night Roger had his stroke,"
Kyle replied.

	"Where was he? Had he been hiding?"

	"It's kinda ironic. The police found Jeff sitting, scrunched up in
the gazebo by the lake, where I first met Cliff."

	"And you say he hasn't eaten since?"

	"Not one bite...He won't answer when Walter, Alex, or Ted call him
through his locked door. God knows, they, Ryan, and I have tried every way
we know to communicate with him. Walter even had his little bed buddy,
Earl, come over and try to entice him to come out and all he did was yell
at Earl, 'Go away! Get the fuck away from me!"

	"Did you ask Walter if he reacted this way to his mother's death?"

	"Yes. Walter said he moped around the house a bit, but after two or
three days he began riding his bike again. Soon thereafter, he started
playing baseball with his friends. But something about Roger's illness had
touched him deeply inside."

	"You want me to ask Cliff to come over and talk to him?" Jay asked.

	"No, not right now. Cliff has his own encumbrances to contend
with. There's no use in burdening him with an additional woe. I swear, Jay,
I know how the kid feels. I want to lock myself away from the world...and I
would if it weren't for Ryan being here with me. Goddamn! Roger is still a
young man. I thought only old people had CVA's. It should've been me or
you. We're the ones who are supposed to be sick, but thanks to all the
things Roger did for us, you and I are almost in perfect health."

	"It's funny, I said the same thing to Troy last night. It just
doesn't seem fair and it certainly doesn't make sense."

	"How IS Cliff?" Kyle asked.

	"Either he's the strongest guy in the world or he could rival
Anthony Hopkins as an actor. He's been trying to maintain his duties via
telephone with the priests who have offered to help him. He's even called
parishioners who can't make it to the services for various reasons. He's
left Roger's side only to make his regular hospital visitations to other
sick patients at Briarwood General. He's eaten only one meal at the dinner
table with Troy and me just like he did when Roger was off visiting the
Dalai-Lama, or whatever he's called. He spends every waking hour waiting to
hear that Roger had come out of the coma and will be ready to get out of
bed and become normal as ever. I suppose he got used to Roger's being gone
while he was away, but damned if I could, if it were Troy."

	"You DO love Troy, don't you?"

	"God, Kyle, he's my life...my soul." Jay replied.

	"You never felt that way about Lonnie, did you?"

	"No! Did you?"

	"Not really," Kyle said.

	"How about you and Ryan?" Jay asked.

	"We're very much in love. We're looking forward to working at the
hospital once it's finished."

	"Us, too."

	"Do you think there will be a hold on the construction...I mean,
until Roger...well, you know?"

	"No, if anything, Cliff and Walter will hire additional workers to
complete the hospital just as if Roger was up and around overseeing
everything. That's all Roger could talk about...finishing the hospital with
the best doctors, best treatments, best laboratories, compounded with an
insatiable urge to find a cure for AIDS. It's his dream and you know that
Cliff and Walter will break their asses, seeing everything go AHEAD of
schedule. Cliff and Walter have already discussed calling it the Roger Cole
Hospital."

	"Not that it matters, Jay, but were any of the rumors true about
how rich Roger is?"

	"Did you ever ask Walter? I mean, you live with him, and Walter
handled a lot of Roger's investments."

	"No, I've never had the courage to ask Walter about that for fear
he would remind me it was none of my business...which it's not. But I
wondered anyway."

	"Kyle, I don't think Roger has ever told Cliff how much he
has. Roger used to joke with Cliff when Cliff was paying the utilities
bills. He'd tell Cliff, 'Why don't you just buy the goddamned utility
companies like you do when you're playing Monopoly?..We can afford it. I
told you Cliff, we've got zillions!!!' The way Roger used his money to help
us and others like us, I began to believe that he does have zillions."

	"Does Cliff have Roger's power-of-attorney while he's ill?"

	"I don't think so. Once he said that in the eventuality of his
death, he had left a little something in his will for 'the boys'. I don't
know which 'boys' he included. Troy? Me? Rob? Timmy?...I just don't know. I
DO know that Roger has been paying for my and your doctors, medicines, and
treatments. He paid for the lawyers and the private investigators when Troy
was in trouble with Kitty. He bought this huge house and paid for the
enlargement of St. Genesius. Also, his investments made Walter
wealthy. Does that sound like a zillion to you?" Jay asked.

	"Sounds like it, since according to Walter, everything that Roger
wanted is bought and paid for!" Kyle replied. "Jay, can I ask you a
personal question?"

	"Sure...we're close. After all, we used to sleep with the same
guy...only not all three of us together. What's your question?"

	"God forbid he should die, but if Roger left you and Troy big
bucks, would you leave Cliff's house?"

	"Not in a million years."

	"That's what I thought you'd say."

	"I can't explain what Cliff and Roger are to Troy and me, but I
know we'd never leave them...not unless they found someone in their lives
to replace Troy and me...and IF they wanted us to move out...well, THEN and
only THEN would the two of us consider it...What about you? Would you and
Ryan move out and leave Walter?"

	"We're like you...only if Walter wanted us to. He's loved and
provided for Ryan and me as if we were his real sons, like Alex, Ted, and
Jeff. You've heard how Ryan's folks abused him and kicked him out into the
night. I've told you about my money-grabbing parents.  Walter has been the
only real dad that Ryan and I have ever had. Our salaries from the Center
have made us financially independent. We've both offered money to Walter to
pay for our guesthouse, board, and utilities, but Walter's as stubborn as
Roger. He won't take a dime from either of us."

	"Where or how does David fit into the picture?" Jay asked.

	"David is the best thing that's happened to Walter since the day I
first met him. Ryan and I can hear Walter singing in the shower all the way
across the courtyard and the pool into our house. He laughs and cuts up
with the four of us boys as if he were sixteen years old again. David seems
just as happy since he's moved in with Walter. They're like two
lovebirds. They're like Ryan and I were when we first fell in love...and
Alex and Jeff? They treat him like a second father...Only now, neither
David, Walter, Alex, Ted, Ryan, nor I can reach Jeff. I'm worried to death
that the kid will dehydrate, starve, or something. He has a bathroom off
from his bedroom, so I know he has water to drink, should he get thirsty. I
think he has a small refrigerator which Walter installed to fill with
snacks and fruits. I just hope he's eating something."

	"Jesus! I wish I knew what to do...or at least give you an idea
where to get help." Jay said.

	"That's almost embarrassing. Here we are, the six of us, working at
a crisis center, offering advice for all kinds of problems and we can't
seem to find a solution to the biggest problem under our own roof."

	"I know, the old, 'Physician, heal thyself' syndrome...then the
doctor dies from a common cold because he doesn't know how to help
himself."

	"Jay, I want to tell you something else."

	"OK."

	"I'm so very glad we've mended the fences that could've separated
you and me."

	"You mean 'Lonnie'?"

	"Yes. Sometimes when a lover leaves his lover for another, there's
often bitterness on the part of the 'ex'...but since we were both
'exes'...one by separation and the other by Lonnie's passing, there was
really no reason for either of us to be enemies. I'm glad we're not. Who
knows? If you and I both had stayed in New York, we might have become
lovers. Stranger things than death have brought two people together."

	"Don't laugh, but I've wondered about 'us', too. But now, since I
have Troy and you have Ryan, there's no reason why we shouldn't be best
friends."

	"No reason at all. I don't know whether it was because of Cliff,
Walter, Roger, or what...but for whatever it was that brought you and me
together, I'm grateful...and don't read too much into this, but I DO love
you."

	"And I love you too, you big jerk!...Now go upstairs and tell Jeff
that if he doesn't come out, I'm gonna have to fix him broccoli for a month
to get his metabolism working again for going on a hunger strike!"

	"I wish that threat would work on him..." Kyle said, laughing a
bit.

	"Dear heart, call me day or night if you need me."

	"I will, and tell Cliff our prayers and thoughts are with him. Kyle
and I are going to stop by the hospital and give Walter a break. We'll see
you at church next Sunday, if not before. Bye." Kyle said.

	"Bye."

	Kyle hung up the receiver and sat silently for a few minutes,
wondering what he could say or do to help Jeff.

	Alex had called Dr. Hughes, the man who had helped him after his
suicide attempt, to see if there was any advice that he could offer.
Dr. Hughes said that grief seldom affects any two people in the same
way. Some get over it almost immediately, but can affect them at a later
time...maybe a week, a month, or maybe years, but nearly everyone confronts
it sooner or later.  Many people drink, either casually or to the point of
alcoholism, others take drugs...either prescribed or contraband. Some
people take trips or get away from the scene of their sadness and then
there are those, like Jeff, that go into seclusion. It was difficult for
anyone close to Jeff, to understand why he was taking this loss so
tremendously. It wasn't as if he and Roger had been THAT close. Had it been
Cliff who was in a coma, Jeff's actions would've made more sense. If only
Roger would recover, Jeff was bound to snap out of his depression.

	Walter was almost as heartbroken over Jeff as he was at the
hospital learning of Roger's aneurysm. He was going through 'marital bliss'
with his new lover and Jeff's depression had hung a black cloud over the
entire household.  Dr. Hughes had suggested writing a prescription for
Paxil, Serzone, Zoloft, or Prozac, but there was no way getting Jeff to
take any of these medications without his volunteering to start the drug
regimen. Most anti-depressants took at least three weeks before they went
into effect. Jeff needed something that would react more swiftly on his
problem. Jeff refused to talk to any of his family or friends. Walter had
one last recourse but he didn't want to use it. If Jeff didn't respond
voluntarily, he could have him admitted to a crisis clinic to regulate his
food, water, and medicine intake. This was a drastic measure to take, but
Jeff, so far, wasn't giving his father much choice.

	Three days passed and there was still no change in Roger's
condition nor in Jeff's and Walter's decision was made. Jeff would have to
be taken from his room by force. Two police officers arrived at Walter's
house in case Jeff's door had to be broken down. They were accompanied by
an ambulance and a team of two paramedics and an MHT, who had a
strait-jacket if it was needed. The EMS had hypos filled with thorazine to
sedate Jeff should he become violent. Walter took all five of them to
Jeff's bedroom and he knocked.

	"Jeff?" Walter called calmly. "Baby, I know you don't want to come
out, but I'm afraid if you don't, I'm going to resort to drastic
measures. I have the police and the EMS out here who are going to take you
to a clinic. I don't want you to be afraid and I don't want to alarm you,
but I don't know what else to do. It would be better for all of us is you'd
just open your door and come out peacefully. I don't want to see you
hurt. You're suffering enough, emotionally, already...Will you, please?"

	Everyone waited silently for two minutes. Then they heard the click
coming from the door lock. Jeff came out slowly and expressionless. He
looked like an Sean Penn recreating walking the final mile in 'Dead Man
Walking' on his way to the gas chamber.

	Alex, Ted, Kyle, and Ryan watched from far down the hall. Walter
stood by the door in tears. Jeff put up no resistance as he walked past the
policemen and toward the paramedics. Once he was outside, Jeff didn't want
to ride in the back of the ambulance, he chose to sit up front between the
driver and the other attendant.

	"Son," Walter said, leaning into the cab of the ambulance, "I'll
pack you a bag with some clothes, toiletries, and a few of your personal
items. Alex, Ted, and I will be at the hospital shortly, as I have to sign
your admittance papers. I beg you, son, please don't be angry. I'm just as
hurt about doing this to you as you must feel."

	Jeff paid his dad no heed. He looked at the driver and said, "Let's
go."

	The ambulance pulled down the drive, followed by Walter, Alex, and
Ted. The police returned to the station. Ryan stood in the front doorway of
the house with his arm around Kyle. When everyone was gone, Kyle told Ryan
that he wanted to call Jay and let everyone at Cliff's house know what had
happened.

	When Jay finished getting the news, he turned and relayed
everything to Troy. Cliff was in his study and overheard their
conversation. Cliff, being so preoccupied with his burdens and his job
duties, had somehow not known about the problem Walter was having with
Jeff. He came to the door of his study and looked at Jay and Troy trying to
talk in a low voice.

	"What's going on?" Cliff asked.

	"Sorry, Cliff," Jay said, "Jeff is ill and Walter had him sent to
the hospital for observation."

	"What kind of sick?" Cliff asked.

	"Cliff, no one, including Walter's household or Troy and me, wanted
to bother you about what was going on."

	"Whatever it is, I think you should tell me." Cliff said, firmly.

	"Well, all right," Jay replied.

	The three of them went into Cliff's study and Jay spent the next
thirty minutes filling Cliff in on all the details about Jeff. The more
Cliff heard, the more his eyes welled up with tears. Cliff thought about
the poor sixteen year-old kid carrying the brunt of everyone's grief about
Roger's stroke. Jeff had done it alone, not wanting to upset anyone
else. Cliff worried about what Roger's illness had done to Jeff's newly
found faith. To Cliff's knowledge, the only other serious illness that Jeff
had encountered was his mother's, so Roger's disability must have opened
old scars and scabs in Jeff's memory.

	When Jay finished the account, Cliff said, "I'd better get dressed
and go be with Jeff and Walter at the hospital. I have to go relieve Walter
anyway as I intend to spend the night next to Roger."

	"Cliff, I told Ryan, when I talked to him on the phone that I
wished he would ask Walter if I should tell you because I knew you would
want to be there with them...and Walter said.'no'. not to tell you. So we
did as he instructed us to do."

	"Well, now that I DO know, I think I should go." Cliff said,

	"Cliff, do you want one of us to drive you?" Troy asked.

	"No, because I don't know how long I'll stay and the two of you can
prepare dinner. I might return home later."


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	By the time Cliff arrived at the hospital, Jeff had already been
assigned a room. Two doctors had examined him, a GP and a psychiatrist. Ted
was sitting alone in a waiting room while Alex was busy unpacking Jeff's
things in his dresser and closet. Before going in to see Jeff, Cliff
stopped by Roger's room to check on him. Walter was sitting at Roger's
bedside.

	"Hi, Cliff," Walter said.

	"Hello, Walter. Has there been any change with Roger?"

	"Some and I didn't know what to make of it."

	"What do you mean?"

	"About a half hour ago, Roger moved his head from side to
side...only once and then he made a groaning sound. I called for the nurse
immediately and she checked Roger's vital stats and they seemed normal. I
told her about his head movement and the sound he'd made. I asked her if he
might be in some pain. She said she doubted it, but would call Dr. Reisman
and tell him about it."

	"I rushed over as soon as I heard about Jeff. How is he? I wasn't
aware he wasn't feeling well until I heard the news from Troy. I haven't
seen him in the past few days and I assumed he was busy with his upcoming
debate."

	"He's tough, Cliff, you know that. He just hasn't been up to par
lately and the doctors thought it best if he checked in for a few days to
get his diet regulated along with his battery, spark plugs, and a general
transmission tune-up," he said, winking.

	"Do you think he would say 'hello' to an old friend?" Cliff asked.

	"Probably." Walter became the 'concerned parent'."Honest to God,
Cliff, I didn't know what else to do. I swore I wouldn't call you as I know
you've been immersed in your own worries, but Jeff's been like a zombie. He
won't say more than a few words. He won't eat. He shows no emotion
whatsoever. Alex even tried to make him angry just to get a spark out of
him...but nothing."

	"You think it's because of Roger's stroke?"

	"I hate to say it, but it's true. Cliff, Jeff didn't take it this
hard when his mother died. I wasn't aware that he had spent a lot of time
with Roger, but to react this way to his illness..."

	"I don't think they spent much time together, I think it's
something that goes deeper than that."

	"That's what the doctors seem to think, but so far, they haven't a
clue. Do you have any ideas?

	"One. I think the foundation of his newly found faith has been
shaken and damaged greatly. I had the same type thing happen to me, only I
was much older. I was a first year student at the seminary. I was so set in
my faith and was so certain of my calling, I chose St. Stephan, the martyr,
as my hero. I could have been stoned as he was and I wouldn't have given up
any of my beliefs. Then one priest, my philosophy teacher, started
comparing Christianity to other religions and a huge black cloud of doubt
came over my head. It wouldn't go away no matter how hard I prayed. I
didn't know whom I was praying to. I didn't know if God was real or if He
existed. I looked at the Buddhists who prayed to a huge fat statue, like
Baal in our Bible. They believed in his divinity the same as I did my
God. It was as if my whole life had come to a stop in the road and there
was no reason to go on. My God ceased to exist and I was lost. I went into
seclusion for over a month. I talked to no one...refused to eat. I did
drink water to satisfy my thirst. I guess that's what saved me from
dehydration. I lost twenty-five pounds during that one month."

	"What did you do to turn yourself around?" Walter asked, earnestly.

	"I was young and too intelligent for my own good. I told myself I
was just as smart as my teacher. He was just a man with ideas, the same as
I, and the ideas that I had maintained my whole life were just as good or
rational as his. The Irish 'spite' came out of me and I went back to class
as I was determined to prove that he was wrong. Even though he was a
priest, apparently he had lost his faith, and was doing all he could to
make me lose mine. He almost succeeded, but my faith turned out to be
stronger than my teacher's. Walter, Jeff is going through what a lot of us
do. My God, Roger had to go all the way to Nepal to find his answer.  Jeff
will find his way. I just want him to know that I'm here to help when and
if he needs me."

	"Do you mind if I ask how you're doing under all the stress and
pressure?" he asked.

	"I'm fine. You know, I believe that Roger's disappearance for all
those weeks was a preparation for me to deal with his sudden illness. Sure,
I miss talking with him, looking into his eyes for guidance and the love I
feel when I'm near him. He is the other half of my being, as I am his other
half. You lost your wife, but you had two young sons you had to keep living
for...and you did. Roger is not dead. Becoming ill and nearing death is all
a part of life. I know I almost lost him and the day may come when I WILL
lose him unless he loses me first. We all have to learn to accept illness
and even death, as I have lost so many close friends and parishioners.  Do
you think it would be all right if I tried to talk with Jeff alone?"

	"There's nothing I would like better.  Please, just go on in while
I see if Alex wants to go get a sandwich or something. Then, I'll go sit
with Roger until you're finished talking with Jeff," Walter said, gripping
Cliff's hand. Then Walter pulled Cliff forward and embraced him around the
neck. He kissed Cliff's cheek, broke away, and went down the hall to find
Alex.

	Cliff slowly opened Jeff's door. Jeff was sitting very still in
bed. He paid no attention to Cliff when he entered. The TV was on but Jeff
wasn't watching it. He stared blankly at the wall. Cliff walked over to his
bed and sat beside him and eased his arm around Jeff's shoulder as Cliff
didn't know how Jeff would respond to a physical touch. Jeff didn't move
away or try to remove Cliff's arm.

	"Hi, big guy." Cliff whispered to him.

	Cliff was surprised when Jeff replied, "Hi, Father Cliff."

	"How are you feeling?" Cliff asked.

	"I don't know...how are you feeling?"

	"Not so good when I'm alone, but when I have a friend beside me, I
feel much better."

	To that remark, Jeff didn't reply. Cliff thought he would continue
talking to him in a soft manner and let him join in when and if ever he
felt like it.

	"I've missed seeing you at church. Jason and Tony have missed you
too."

	"What did you tell them about me?" he asked, not looking at Cliff.

	"Nothing really. I didn't know you weren't feeling well until a
couple of hours ago, when Jay told me."

	"Did Jay tell you that I'd gone crazy and Dad had put me in a nut
house?"

	"No...is that what you think?" Cliff asked, wanting Jeff to open up
and talk.  "I really don't think your dad thinks you're crazy. He loves
you, Jeff, just as Alex, Ted, and I do. A lot of people love you. You're
very important to Roger. He's begun thinking of you as an adopted son. You
have a big family of brothers who love you and are very concerned about
you...Kyle, Ryan, Jay, Troy..."

	"To them, I'm just a kid. They must think I'm acting awful
childish." he said.

	"They don't think of you as a kid any more than I do. Roger has
never thought of you as a kid, either."

	"Well, at least Roger doesn't have to be concerned about me now."

	"No, Jeff, he doesn't, not at the present..." His mentioning Roger
encouraged Cliff that Jeff might be willing to talk.

	"Why did that have to happen to Roger, Father?"

	"It was in God's plan for Roger, I guess, Jeff."

	"I knew that's what you'd say...God wouldn't make Roger sick on
purpose."

	"Why do you say that?"

	"Because there IS no God, that's why!"

	"Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, you've been so strong the past few weeks since
and before you were baptized and joined St. Genesius'."

	"That's before I knew the truth."

	"And what truth is that?" I asked.

	"Father, when I was just a little kid, my mother got sick. I used
to go to church and Sunday school with her every Sunday. Even when she was
too sick to get out of bed and go with me, I went every Sunday, without her
and I prayed every day and every night that she would get well and not
leave Alex, Dad, and me.  But she died anyway, and I asked my dad why God
hadn't heard my prayers...and you know what my dad told me?"

	"No, what?"

	"He said that God wanted her to be with Him. What kind of God would
take a mother from two little kids?"

	"A God, who had a definite plan for the two little kids. He wanted
the two little kids to find their own strengths and grow up faster to do
the things they were meant to do."

	"That's bullshit, Father, and you know it."

	"Not really. If your mother were alive, do you think you'd've found
St. Genesius and your avocation?"

	"I don't know. I found St. Genesius, didn't I...and you and
Roger. Father, the night that Roger got sick. I came to the hospital with
my dad and while Alex, and all the other guys went to sleep in the waiting
room, I spent the whole night on my knees, saying the rosary, begging God
NOT to let Roger die!...BUT Roger might as well have died. He went into a
coma and I know he's never gonna wake up! God didn't hear me when I prayed
for my mom and He didn't hear me when I asked for Roger to be all right! So
nothing changed."

	"A lot changed. Your life has changed and millions of other lives
are going to be changed because of the hospitals and centers Roger is
having built right now. In my heart I know Roger is going to wake up and be
normal once again. Roger is stronger than all of us combined. He'll pull
through, but it's going to take YOUR faith along with mine."

	"But what if he doesn't wake up?"

	"Then, maybe that's God's plan to pave the way for us to see that
Roger's beginnings are carried through. You remember when I told you about
Moses in the Old Testament? Moses was the leader of the Jewish faith. He
wandered in the wilderness for forty years, preparing the Jews to go into
the Holy Land and when it came time to enter, God told Moses that he'd done
all he was supposed to...that he wasn't to lead the people into the
promised land, it was Joshua who was appointed to carry out that part...and
so Moses died when he'd done his share of the work. Roger made the plans
and provided the financial backing, but it's up to you, me, your dad, Alex,
Ted, and your 'adopted' brothers to see that what Roger did, wasn't done in
vain. Roger has paved the way and we'll carry out what he started. Roger
was just like Moses, he's done what he's been sent here to do...and the
world will be a better place because of it. But this is only the
beginning. As soon as Roger recovers...he's probably dreaming of new
wonderful things and miraculous ways to help people!"

	Jeff still didn't look at Cliff, but Cliff felt he had reached Jeff
somehow because of the tears in Jeff's lower eyelids.

	"Father, I'm real sorry I haven't been to see Roger since he was
admitted to the hospital here. I feel guilty."

	"Jeff, Roger's room is only a couple of floors down. When and IF
you feel like it, you can still visit him."

	"I guess you must miss him a lot. Huh?"

	"Of course I miss him, Jeff. I don't miss him not being at home. I
miss him in the our mornings and nights we have together. Many couples,
brothers, husbands and wives, best friends don't have as many good times as
Roger and I did. I thank God for the time we had together. I don't get
angry about the time we're not having at home together now. In every
relationship one has to expect bad times along with the good. Roger and I
have made many wonderful memories and with God's hand, we'll make many
more. Sometimes I feel guilty about all the happiness Roger and I have
shared. But if it's God's will that we don't have good times again, I have
no regrets. I'm so grateful for the ones we've had. If I should become ill
suddenly and pass away before you, I would want to leave you with nothing
but good memories and you'd always have those to remember me by. Don't you
remember the good times you had with your mother?"

	"Yes."

	Cliff could see a definite change in Jeff's mood. Cliff wanted to
challenge him. Cliff hesitated at first, but he took a chance anyway.

	"The night Roger collapsed, just before he became sick, he and I
were talking about you."

	A look of pleasant astonishment came over his face and he looked at
Cliff in the eyes for the first time.

	"Me?...What was he talking about?"

	"He was very pleased that you had taken on the task of debating gay
life with our adversaries. He wanted me to help you prepare your
arguments. I told him I'd rather that you do it, but he insisted that I
help you. He wanted you to stand up for what you believed in and defend us
against Reverend Brindley's hypocrisy."

	"He did?"

	"Yep. I wouldn't lie to you about that. Of course, I wouldn't want
you to, if you didn't feel like it."

	"Do you think if I ate and got my strength up, I still might be
able to do it?"

	"That depends on you...and what your doctors say. I mean, you might
not feel up to it!"

	"Heck! You know I can always argue...no matter how bad I feel. Just
ask Dad and Alex."

	"I will talk it over with them and in turn, you dad can talk to
your doctors...and we'll see."

	Just then, Walter stuck his head in the door.

	"Cliff, visiting hours are almost over. I just wanted you to know."

	Jeff turned to look at his dad, for the first time in over a week.

	"Dad, is the hospital kitchen closed?" Jeff asked.

	A look or surprised relief washed over Walter's face. He looked at
Jeff, then at me. His eyes filled with tears.

	"I don't know, son, what would you like?"

	"Anything!...Soup! Sandwich!...Do you think they have pizza?"

	"Is that what you would like...a pizza?" Walter asked.

	"Yeah, one of those Papa John's with all the fresh vegetables on
it!" Jeff said, excited.

	"If they don't have one, Alex or Ted and I will slip one in to you
in about a half hour. Cliff, let me go call Dr. Hughes and get permission
for you, me, Alex, and Ted to stay and have a pizza party with Jeff. Do you
mind staying with him while Alex and I go get the pizza?"

	"Nothing would please me more." Cliff said. "That is, if it's all
right with Jeff for me to stay?"

	"Father, quit acting like a little kid," Jeff said. "Go out to the
nurse's desk and get some paper and a pen. We can work on my debate until
Dad gets back."

	Walter couldn't believe his ears. He ran over to the bed and hugged
his son. To quote Hubert Humphrey, "I stood there, proud as punch!" Walter
held Jeff close to him so that he couldn't see while he mouthed "Thank you"
to Cliff.

	"DAD!...PIZZA!...GO!...I'M HUNGRY!" Jeff shouted breaking away from
his dad's embrace.

	"I'll go get the paper before he starts ordering me around!" Cliff
said, as Walter and I scrambled out the door.

	Later that evening after the pizza party, which had lasted until
11:30 PM, when the eleven-to-seven nurses started screaming at them, an RN
came into Jeff's room.

	"Father Cliff?" she asked.

	"Yes?"

	"Are you the responsible party for Mr. Cole?"

	"Yes, I am."

	"The head nurse on Mr. Cole's floor has been trying to reach you."

	Cliff panicked along with Walter, Jeff, Alex, and Ted.

	"My God!" Cliff shouted. "What's wrong?"

	"I believe his nurse said that Mr. Cole has come out of his coma
and is asking for you..."

	A gush of relief passed through Jeff's room as strong as a
hurricane. Cliff ran for the stairs, without bothering with the
elevators. Behind him were Walter, Alex, Ted, and even Jeff. The five of
them scurried to Roger's room and quickly opened the door.

	Roger was not only awake, he had unwrapped the turban of gauze and
tape on top of his head from the surgery. Cliff ran to his side first and
excitedly said, "ROGER!"

	To which Roger replied, "Cliff, who the fuck shaved my goddamned
head? My hair had just about grown back and now I'm fuckin' bald again!"

	None of the five dared to crack a smile at first, but due to the
breaking of nervous tension, everyone burst our into hysterical
laughter. The 'old' Roger was back!

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(To be continued in "Briarwood" BOOK THREE-"Briarwood Lost"
chapter-thirty-five)