Date: Thu, 26 Jan 2006 02:36:56 EST
From: RitchChristopher@cs.com
Subject: briarwood:briarwood-u-60

All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or
are offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language,
please exit now.


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                                  "BRIARWOOD"
                            Copyright Ritchris, 2005

                          aka "Whence Cometh My Help"
                            Copyright Ritchris, 2003

                                Revised Version

                                A dramatic saga

                                      by

			        Ritch Christopher

                                  <><><><><>

		   	            BOOK SIX


                                  "BRIARWOOD U"

			          Chapter-Sixty


<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>


	Nina's wreck had been near fatal. She was still unconscious from
having hit her head on the front windshield, but what was even more
dangerous was that she had apparently had a heart attack just before the
car went out of control. She was wired to every kind of machine and monitor
that the Cole Institute possessed. She had been treated temporarily in the
Chatham Memorial Hospital ER until Cliff heard the news.  It was then that
Ed enforced his powers as Administrator/Chief of Staff at Cole and had her
transported to his facility where she would receive the best care, care
that even money couldn't buy.

	James Raulston was Nina's and Jim's personal physician. He was also
the team physician for Briarwood U., but upon his hearing that Ed had taken
an interest in her care, he turned all his duties and Nina's records over
to Dr. Ed Middleton.  Jim felt he had no choice--he had to trust Ed to make
the right decisions. If Roger thought enough of him to make him
administrator of his Institute, Ed must be tops in his field of
medicine.. Jim had been naive about the Cole Institute. He had thought it
only cared for HIV and AIDS patients, but its expertise covered many other
fields of medicine as well. It somehow never occurred to Jim that so many
AIDS patients die of heart failure, so it was only natural that they
assumed advance treatment in cardiology as well. Jim sat by Nina's bedside
as long as he was permitted each day or until the nurses or staff members
had to perform another task on her.  Waiting just outside her room in the
ICU was Cliff.  Even though Jim was worried and scared shitless, he had the
comfort of knowing that Nina had the best doctor, but with Cliff's
presence, she had God on her side as well.

	Ed and Cliff suggested that Jim go home and get a shower and some
rest and they would call him immediately if there was any change in her
condition. Reluctantly, Jim went home alone and let the hot shower pound on
his tense body and on the top of his head which was splitting with a stress
headache. He left the shower three times to run to the phone. It was not
the hospital calling, only people who had learned about Nina and wanted to
know how she was and wanted details of the accident.  'Accident'---there
was that word again! Nina's car crash HAD been an accident. It had, hadn't
it?  But it left so many unanswered questions that she was still unable to
answer. 'Where the fuck was she going at that time of night?' Jim
wondered. Her Monday night TV fare was a set pattern from which she never
varied. She would often take the phone off the hook to keep 'Third Watch'
from being interrupted just in case Eddie Cibrian was going to be featured
in that episode.  Was she out trying to check up on Jim...or on Jim and
Tom? Did she think Jim had taken Tom to a motel or some place private? (Not
that the idea hadn't occurred to Jim!)  There was no sign of alcohol or
drugs in her system.  Physically, she was a perfect specimen of good
health, never a sign of a heart condition, nor of anything else for that
matter.

	Tom hadn't called, so Jim wasn't sure if he had heard about Nina or
not. How Jim longed for Tom to be with him for solace and comfort.  For
appearances sake, the two of them couldn't show too much emotional
connection, but inside Jim knew Tom would ache for his well-being.  How
could a novice relationship grow into a family tie in such a short period
of time? If Nina should die, Tom would be all Jim had.

	Jim kept thinking, 'Dammit! Nina! Why? Why did she leave the house
so late at night?  She was always a very careful driver.  The guy whose car
she hit told the investigating traffic officer that it appeared she was
heading her car straight at him. There was no way in hell that Nina would
have tried to commit suicide...I mean...well, NOT in a car. She had
sometimes jokingly said that if she ever got a terminal illness, no one
should be surprised if she fixed herself a Dorothy Kilgallen Cocktail,
consisting of a double vodka martini and a handful of halcion on a
toothpick instead of an olive.  That was a painless way to go. NO! Jim
couldn't believe Nina had intentionally crashed her car.  She was either
very upset about something or something had scared her into having a panic
attack.  She used to have attacks like that years ago, but not
recently. What could have caused her so much anxiety, if THAT had been
instrumental in the collision?'

	Jim was still in a state somewhere among denial, shock, and
disbelief. Nina's accident and the possibility of her imminent death had
not yet sunk in. He hadn't accepted it. The only sense of reality was that
she was not home last night when he returned to the house. He had dropped
Tom off at his dorm and hadn't thought to call him when he arrived home and
saw the police car waiting for him to tell him of the car accident. When
the police finally left, Jim, oh, so wanted Tom to be there with him...but
something, call it guilt or something else, told Jim that if Tom came over,
they'd wind up in each other's arms and that would be totally disrespectful
to Jim's loyal wife, who could be dying in the hospital. Jim ached to
cry. Jim knew he needed to cry. Jim also knew he was supposed to cry...but
somehow the tears wouldn't come.

	The phone rang once more, and again he jumped. This time it was
Cliff calling.

	"Hello?"

	"Jim, it's me, Cliff."

	"My God, Cliff, Nina--how is she?"

	"Calm down, this is not THAT kind of call. I just wanted you to
know that some of the meds are working and Nina's vital signs have returned
to normal."

	"And her heart?"

	"Ed told me, in laymen's terms, that the results of the preliminary
tests showed no heart damage. It was just a mild coronary...the kind that
sometimes is caused by a panic attack or some kind of emotional shock which
elevates the BP and causes too much blood to be pumped into the heart at
one time."

	"That IS good news, isn't it, Cliff?"

	"For now, anyway. She's still not out of the woods. The bump on her
head caused her brain to swell. Ed put in some kind of catheter at the base
of her skull to drain any fluid that might have accumulated there. That
should help the swelling to subside."

	"She still hasn't opened her eyes or said anything, has she?"

	"No, it's still too soon to expect that."

	"Do you think I should return to the hospital?"

	"No, I want you to get some rest. You've had a couple of pretty
trying days with your personal dilemma, complicated by other related
accidents which you told me about."

	"Cliff, do you think that there could be a connection between them
and Nina's accident?"

	"Anything I thought would be mere speculation. We won't know until
Nina regains consciousness and enlightens us. But for the time being, don't
assume anything. Mind you, I'm not ruling it out, I just don't want to
think that someone was out to get her or even you, for that
matter. However, I will see that Roger and his sleuths look into the
possibility."

	"Jim, I swear to God, if Harm had anything to do with Nina's crash,
I'll kill him!"

	"That's why I don't want you jumping to any kind of conclusion,
Jim. We'll sort this out later with the police."

	"Goddamn him!"

	"Jim, please calm down! Did you shower, have a couple of drinks?"

	"I had four or five showers in between phone calls. I haven't had
time to make myself a drink."

	"Well, buddy, have a double and then try to get some sleep. I'll be
here all night. Roger is coming by later to join me. I promise you one of
us will call you or come after you if there's any change in Nina's
condition."

	"Cliff, how can I thank you?"

	"You can't and you don't have to, so don't try," Cliff said. "Oh,
by the way, Jim, have you contacted your, uh--your 'young friend'?"

	"No. I didn't know how it would look."

	"Why don't you give him a call and see if he'll come over and be
with you?"

	"I'd feel too guilty, Cliff."

	"Yes, but at least someone would be there with you to make sure you
don't fly off the handle and do something stupid, like going after Harm."

	"I won't go after Harm, Cliff."

	"Just the same, I'd feel better, and I know damned well, that you
would too, if you had some young company to be with you."

	"It sounds as if you're giving your approval to my extra-marital
relationship, Cliff," Jim said with a kind of dazed wonderment.

	"You don't need my approval or my condemnation, Jim. As I recall,
you told me that Nina gave you her approval of the relationship. If nothing
had happened to her, would she have minded if you had a visit from your
young friend?"

	"Well, no."

	"Then, if she were awake and well, she wouldn't want you to be by
yourself in your hour of despair. So, go ahead and call Tom!"

	"You knew from the start that it was Tom, didn't you?"

	"Jesus, Jim! Even Roger knew!"

	"Damn! And we thought we were being so careful and discreet."

	"Jim, there's no discretion possible or any way to hide it when two
people are in love. Their body language emits a glow that even a blind
person could feel. You said so yourself whenever you see Roger and me
together."

	"Yeah, especially last Friday when you two walked into the Lion's
Roar.  It's almost electric with neon signs, bells, and whistles."

	"Roger and I don't make it a point to display our affection to one
another in public, nor does anyone else. It's just there...and someone who
has felt it himself recognizes it, even in total silence."

	"My God, I wonder now how many people know about Tom and me?"

	"Does it matter? Are you looking for stone casters? Jim, this is
not the right time for me to say this, but you're gonna be stuck in the
middle, wondering what to do, if and when Nina recovers."

	"I know that, Cliff."

	"Of course, you don't have to make that decision right now, or even
in the next few days. I think it's something that you should openly discuss
with Nina and Tom together. You're all three involved in a romantic
merry-go-round and you won't be able to rest until you decide what to do
when the music stops."

	"I'm gonna need you to help me when that time comes."

	"I told you, I'm here for you, day and night, just as I am for
Nina...and hopefully now, Tom, too."

	"Cliff, don't read anything untoward into this, but I love you and
Roger."

	"No more than we love you, Jim. I'm glad you finally stopped
thinking of me as your priest and 'father-confessor'. I'm your friend just
as Roger is, Jim, now and always!"

	"I know I should hang up and get some rest, but could I just ask
you a couple of questions?"

	"Sure, buddy."

	"You don't have to answer this, but were you ever involved in a
hetero situation before you and Roger got together? I know that's a strange
question to ask, but Roger is the love of your life. I don't know what it's
like to go from female/male love to a male/male relationship. Before I met
Tom, I never had any homosexual feelings in my life."

	"There's no difference, Jim. You love whom you love or what you
love. There are little old ladies who have never had a husband, boyfriend,
or even a prom date, who love their cats or their dogs as much as I love
Roger...not physically, of course, but the thing is, there is something in
their lives that they can love or give love to. If it's a man you love, so
be it! If it's a woman, then, so be that, too! God gave each of us the
ability to love, and if we don't find someone or something to bestow it on,
then that's like a slap in His face."

	"Why are you so unique? Why don't any other ministers, priests, or
rabbis see things as clearly and openly as you do?"

	"That's just one of the things God gave me, I guess, and I use it!
I don't know if you know it, but before Roger came to Briarwood and set up
his Institute, he was a priest just as I. He sees the world from both
sides, perhaps more than I because my main focus is on spirituality."

	"I think I WILL call Tom, Cliff."

	"Good. Have sex if it'll help you feel better. Nina would approve.
She's resting nicely here at Cole and she'd want you to do the same thing,"

	"Thanks, Cliff."

	"You got it, Coach!"

	"Good night, give my best to your other half...and CALL ME!"

	"I will.  Good night, Jim."


<><><><><><><><>

	Tom was slightly tipsy when Jim dropped him off at the dorm...not
drunk, just pleasantly euphoric. He had been pleased to see Jim, the other
coaches, and the team so exuberant over the past weekend's victory.  He
gave a wave and a smile to Harry at the desk just before he walked up the
stairs to his floor and his room. Bed would feel good. He was
tired...happy...but was looking forward to a good night's sleep. He entered
his room without turning on the lights. There was enough lightspill from
the outside street lamp to illuminate the room. He stripped off all his
clothes but his boxers and slumped down on the bed. It was only after he
settled down into his favorite sleep position that he became aware of the
presence of someone else in the room. He held his breath to listen for the
sound of another person's breathing.

	"Who's there?" Tom said, sitting up, slightly startled.

	"It's me, Tom...Harm," said a voice in the dark.

	"Harm? What the fuck are you doing here? The whole school's been
looking for you all day...the whole weekend, to be exact."

	"I've been laying low."

	"Why, for God's sake?"

	"Well, for starters...Sandy..."

	"Shit, Harm, you didn't really kill her, did you?"

	"I think so, Tom...but wait...there's more..."

	"Whaddya mean?"

	"I...I followed you the other night and saw you at Shoney's..."

	"And...?"

	"I saw who you went home with."

	"Goddamn, Harm! You had no right to do that! Jesus!" Then a flash
of horror went through Tom's mind. "Oh, dear God, NO!...The kid!...Ray!...
the waiter at Shoney's...you didn't cause his accident, did you?"

	"I'm not admitting anything to you or anybody else." Harm said,
flatly.

	"What the fuck were you thinking? What's wrong with you, for God's
sake?"

        Only silence met his ears.

	"What's wrong with you?", he asked again, this time more quietly.

	There was a long pause before Harm spoke.

	"'I love you, Tom'...'I love you, too, Jim'...SOUND FAMILIAR?" Harm
said, mockingly.

	"Jesus, how did you...?"

	"I was THERE...hiding in the back row of lockers. I heard...I
saw---EVERYTHING!" Harm blurted out, sounding hurt.

	"Look, Harm..."

	"NO! YOU LOOK!" Harm interjected. "He's a married man. He's old
enough to be your father!"

	"So?" Tom replied, defensively.

	"SO?...What about US?...YOU AND ME?"

	"US?" Tom replied, strongly. "Harm, there's no US!"

	"What about the other night? Right here on this bed? There was an
US then."

	"We had sex, Harm. That's all it was...sex!"

	"It meant nothing more to you?"

	"NO!"

	"Well, it meant MORE to me. I killed for you, Tom! TWICE! That's
how much it meant to me!"

	"Oh, my God!" Tom uttered. "Are you THAT insanely jealous?"

	"Maybe..."

	"Who's next? The coach? Me?"

	"Time'll tell," Harm said in a quiet warning manner.

	"You need help, Harm. You've got to go to the police. Check
yourself into a hospital and let the psychiatrists examine you."

	"The police have no proof. They can't connect me to Sandy! She
slipped on the ice! Remember?...And as for your waiter boyfriend...let them
try blaming me with his accident! The road was slippery. He lost control of
his car and slammed into a tree. I had no control over the ice in the
road. That was just poor driving on his part...and as for me checking
myself into a psych unit...do you think I'm nuts?"

	"Harm, I want you to get out of here."

	"You don't want to continue where we left off the other night
before we found Sandy hiding beneath the bed?"

	"No! I just want you to leave!"

	"How 'bout a good night kiss?"

	"I'm not kissing you!" Tom said, getting out of bed to face Harm.

	"God, your body looks beautiful. Aren't you getting just the least
bit excited?"

	"I'm excited...but not sexually!

	"Let me ask you something, Tom. How long have you and the coach
been carrying on your affair?"

	"That's none of your business!"

	"It might be. I wonder what Mrs. Kerr would say if someone told her
about you and her husband?"

	"You wouldn't dare!!!"

	"Oh, wouldn't I?  Remember Hell hath no fury..."

	"You say ONE word to her and I swear to God, I'll go to the police
and tell them everything!"

	"You'd better pay some attention to me or I'll go to the betrayed
wife with a story she'll believe."

	"Maybe she already knows!" Tom said.

	"Damn, you're just full of surprises, Tom. The plot just gets
thicker and thicker."

	"Harm, if you don't leave, I'll get Harry to call campus security
and have you removed...if not arrested for murder!" Tom said, again warning
him.

	"All right, I'll go...but remember...you never know who's watching
you..."

	"Is that meant to be a threat, Harm?"

	"No, I'm just telling you to be careful. Strange things...bad
things... can happen when you least expect them."

	On that note, Harm left, closing the door quietly. Tom's body was
shaking and covered with goose bumps...not from the cold, not from standing
there nearly naked ...but from nerves. He couldn't decide what to
do... Call Jim to warn him?  Call the police?

	Just then, Tom heard knock at his door.  It was Emory Philips, the
new dorm night desk monitor.

	"Tom?"

	"Yes?"

	"You have a call down at the desk. I think it's the coach. He asked
me to come get you and bring you to the phone."

	"Thanks, Emory," Tom said.  He opened his door and followed Emory
to the desk.

	"Too bad about Mrs. Kerr, wasn't it?" Emory asked.

	"Whaddya mean, Emory?"

	"I heard she was killed in a car wreck this evening. You hadn't
heard?"

	"Jesus Christ---NO!"

	"Maybe that's why Coach Kerr wants to speak with you on the phone."

	Just as if he were behind Emory in a hundred yard dash, he sped
around Emory, all but diving for the phone.

	"HELLO?"

	"Tom?"

	"COACH?"

	"Yes, Tom--now calm down."

	"Coach, Emory just told me something about Mrs. Kerr being in an
accident. Is that true?"

	"Yes, Tom."

	"Well, for fuck's sake, how is she? SHE'S NOT..."

	"No, Tom, she's in ICU at the Cole Institute.  She did have an auto
accident and..."

	"WHAT CAUSED IT? WHAT HAPPENENED?"

	"Apparently she had a mild heart attack while she was driving and
drove her car into an oncoming vehicle."

	"IS SHE GONNA BE ALL RIGHT?"

	"We don't know just yet, Tom."

	"Where are you now?--at the hospital?"

	"No, I'm home. Father Cliff is with her and he's keeping me posted
on her condition. He and Ed, her doctor, sent me home to shower and rest
awhile. Father Cliff suggested that I call you and ask if you would come
over to my house for a while."

	"Stay there--I'll be there in two shakes!"

	"Would you like me to drive over and pick you up?"

	"No, I can sprint there before you can get your car out of the
driveway! I'll be there shortly!"

	"Thanks, Tom."

	Tom slammed down the receiver and flew upstairs, dressed hurriedly
and sped out the door of the dorm. Any sign of having too much to drink
earlier had disappeared as a result of his confrontation with Harm and the
phone call from Jim.  He was grateful for the night air as it sobered him
up completely as he ran.

	Jim decided to finish his often-interrupted shower to make sure he
had rinsed all the soap off himself. He stood beneath the shower spray for
at least ten minutes after he had shaved. He turned to face the water and
let it pulsate against his face when he suddenly heard the shower door
open.  Startled, he jumped back against the tiled wall, almost slipping. He
thought he was dreaming when he wiped the soap from his eyes only to open
them and see Tom standing there, holding the shower door open--Tom, stark
naked.

	"Tom! My God! You almost scared the life out of me!" Jim said.

	"Sorry, I didn't mean to alarm you. I locked the front door before
coming upstairs. I heard you in the shower and thought you might like me to
join you...to massage your back....or just to hold you."

	Jim didn't even offer an invitation to Tom. He grabbed the young
athlete's hand and all but jerked him into the shower. He moved back just
enough to stand Tom under the water so that both their bodies would be wet
before joining. After that, Jim pulled Tom's body toward his and their arms
embraced one another so tightly, it was if they were trying to mesh their
two torsos into one.

	"Jim...I...," Tom started to say.

	"Hush a minute." Jim said, closing his mouth over his young lover's
full lips. This was suddenly the strongest, deepest, most meaningful kiss
that either of them could ever remember experiencing in his life. Nature
took its course. When two beautiful muscular bodies touched, supported by
this much love and emotion, matching erections were inevitable. Each felt
the rising of the other's organ and they began to writhe, grinding their
crotches into each other.

	"Jim, should we---should we be doing this?" Tom broke the kiss,
long enough to say.

	"Why not, Tom? If Nina were here, she'd let us do it." Jim replied
in a whisper. "Though she might have never openly said it, Nina does
approve of our relationship...yours and mine.  She and I DO love each
other...and we each approved of whatever made the other one happy. Nina
knew you were making me happy...I've thought it all through this
morning. What I said to you yesterday in the locker room about my loving
you...that means TODAY, too."

	"Do you want to talk about the accident and tell me what happened?"
Tom asked.

	"Not just now. Let's just share this moment. I'll tell you
everything later."

	"OK."

	"Now, does your offer of a massage still stand?"

	"Sure! Where do you want me to massage first?"

	"Do I have to resume the role of teacher to instruct you on that?"

	"Nope, on that subject, I could teach the course myself!...Just
don't let me drown while I'm on my knees." Tom said, chuckling.

	Carefully, Tom knelt and engulfed his love's water-soaked organ in
his mouth and for the next ten minutes, Jim journeyed over the rainbow into
the most sublime sensation of raptured bliss. All perturbations he might
have been experiencing suddenly disappeared. Jim took casual notes of his
actions so that he could recreate them for Tom when it was his turn to
reciprocate. Jim wanted Tom to feel the precise ecstasy that he had
received, since Tom was unknowingly showing him just what he, Tom, liked
best.

	Jim's orgasm was fast and furious and he once again beckoned Tom to
stand, thanking him with a multitude of osculation before "taking his turn"
and going down on his young lover. Tom showed very little control and he
came sooner than he expected. They reached for the bar of soap at the same
instant, looked at each other a moment, and then cleansed each other of all
the seminal fluids that had overrun their mouths. Jim opened the shower
door, reaching for two large bath towels and handed one to Tom. They
blotted each other's body, absorbing most of the bath water before Jim took
Tom's hand, once again, and led his Adonis to the bedroom where they took
turns fucking for the next half hour.

	They lay on their backs, looking at the ceiling in satisfied
exhaustion. They hadn't had sex.  This time they had made love, and they
both realized it was different from before, different from anything either
one had ever known. Their "first time" would be something neither of them
would ever forget.  Neither said a word for a few minutes as they savored
the moment which had bonded them together. This was real! This was love!
This was their beginning! Only why did it have to take Nina's accident to
let this happen?...Just one more unanswered question...but one that didn't
need to be answered yet, as the spell might be broken and they might be
forced back to hard, bitter earth.

	Their unleashed physicality having relieved their momentary
tensions, Tom and Jim once again showered, but this time there was no
hanky-panky, just the gentleness of lovers as the reality of here and now
focused their minds on the immediate questions before them.

	"You don't think Harm had anything to do with Nina's accident, do
you, Jim?"

	Tom's words had hit Jim as if someone had slapped the back of his
neck with an icy cold wet rag. Did Tom know something he was keeping from
him? Nina wasn't involved with Tom.  Was there the remotest possibility of
Harm punishing him by doing something to Nina? " My God!" Jim thought, "I
AM going nuts!"

	"NO WAY!" Jim exclaimed, "Harm wasn't in the car with her.  There
was no damage on the rear of Nina's car, so no one had rear-ended her into
the on-coming traffic."

	But still...SOMETHING had made her break her normal pattern of
behavior, leaving the house before her favorite TV show was over! Nina
would never do that! For seemingly the millionth time, Jim forced myself to
relive the horror of last night.  And for the millionth time, he found no
answer.

	"Tom?" Jim began.

	"Yes?"

	"What you said...about Harm...Nina...and the wreck..."

	"Yes?"

	"Is there something you know that you're keeping from me?"

	Tom looked at his older lover for a few moments before replying.

	"Uh...yes...and no."

	"Tell me...No matter what it is---tell me." Jim pleaded.

	"I didn't want to bother you...I mean, hell, you've got enough to
contend with right now."

	"I'm not a weak man...what do you know?"

	"Well, very frankly, I don't think Harm caused Nina's accident."

	"Why?  Did you think he might have?"

	"I didn't really, but...Harm was waiting for me in my room when you
brought me to the dorm last night."

	"Dear GOD!"

	"Yeah, and he confessed to killing Sandy and implied he had caused
the accident of that waiter, Ray, from Shoney's."

	"Goddamn!"

	"What else did he say?"

	"He made some threats...some idle...some possibly serious...about
going to Nina and telling her about us."

	"That bastard!"

	"But Nina's accident had already happened when Harm was in my
room...around eleven o'clock. So if he had bumped Nina's car or ran her
into the on-coming vehicle, I don't think he would have talked about going
to squeal on us."

	"What did you say to him?"

	"I tried to calm him down by telling him Nina already knew about
us...I didn't know if he would buy it or not, but I was trying to stop him
from going to see her."

	"Did you quarrel or have a fight?"

	"No, but I told him to get the fuck out of my room...and he left."

	"How did he know about us?"

	"He was hiding in the locker room the other day and saw us
kissing---he heard our whole conversation."

	"Jesus!" Jim sighed, heavily, "but, Tom, why was that so important
to him?"

	"Harm got the idea that he and I had a thing going."

	"Why would he think that?"

	"The night Sandy died, he and I had been fooling around and she
caught us."

	"You and Harm were having sex?"

	"Now don't go ranting on your high horse. It happened...I don't
know why...Too much to drink maybe...testosterone... tension...It meant
NOTHING, Jim, honest...not to me anyway. But Harm---well, he became jealous
or something and flew into a rage at Sandy."

	"Well, how does the waiter--Ray, you said?...how does he fit into
the picture?"

	"Shit! Jim!" Tom's face was turning red...a cross between anger and
embarrassment. "OK, so I went to Shoney's and he waited on me and then we
went home and had sex. That's all it was...just sex!"

	"Damn, you've been a busy little man, haven't you?"  A wry grin
surfaced on his face for a moment. His eyes softened a moment as he looked
at Tom.

	"It's not as bad as you think. Hell, what was I supposed to do?
Hang around in the shadows while you decided if you wanted to stay with
your wife? Who could predict what would happen in the next twenty-four
hours?  OK, I'm sorry. It wasn't like you and I were lovers or
anything...at least, not then. Things are different now!"

	"And now you're saying we ARE lovers?"

	Tom paused a bit, then said "We love each other, don't we?"

	"I suppose," Jim said, in a subdued response of self-realization.

	"And we just made love, didn't we?"

	"Yes."

	"Then wouldn't you think that qualifies us as being lovers?"

	"Yes, I guess it does.  Forgive me-- no 'I guess'-- it does." He
reached to touch Tom's arm.

	"It's just I didn't want to talk about any of this right now. Your
mind is rightly preoccupied with Nina...and her condition."

	"It is...but my thoughts also include you." Jim said, placing his
hand over Tom's. "I longed to have you with me tonight. I did feel
guilty. You're right, I should've been thinking about Nina...but all I
could think about was you and having you with me...You didn't really lie to
Harm. Nina DOES know the way I feel about you. She all but gave me approval
to pursue you. She saw how happy you made me and how miserable I was when I
didn't know where you were and what you were doing. With what you've just
told me about you and Harm and you and the waiter...it would look as if I
DID have cause to be concerned."

	"You had nothing to be concerned about, Jim." Tom replied. His hand
covered Jim's. "I'm yours...if you want me...for as long as you like."

	"Oh, if that were only true."

	"Trust me...I know we've both got some hard times ahead of us, but
I'm here...ready to give myself to you. The rest is up to you."

	Jim squeezed Tom's hand in reassurance, telling him that all was
right between them.

	"Jim, I know this is looking far into the future, but could the
three of us...you, me, and Nina all live together?"

	"I'm not certain, Tom, but it's a possibility."

	"Jim, what if things changed? What if you suddenly had to choose
between us?"

	"I've already been thinking about that. God would probably strike
me dead in other circumstances, but right now I'd have to say..."

	"Don't answer that!" Tom said, placing his hand over Jim's
mouth. "That was unfair. I won't ask you that again, I promise...not ever!"

	"Needless to say, Tom, you've changed my life completely."

	"You mean, I fucked it up! Is that what you're trying to say?"

	"This is sounding more and more ridiculous! You haven't fucked up
my life. You may have confused me a bit, but Cliff told me that I might
have had suppressed gay instincts all my life without knowing it. You only
brought my real world to light."

	"Jim, I can only hope that Nina recovers. I don't want her to
die. If she did, I suppose I'd be filled with guilt, thinking that my
happiness resulted from her death."

	"Tom, even if Nina-- if she--doesn't get better and she...well, you
mustn't look at that as an obstacle in our relationship. She encouraged
it...she endorsed it."

	"I know you've told me that, but even still, she's too great a lady
to be hurt."

	"Tom, let me ask you something---if this thing between us had
happened in the same way, and say, I were single, never having been
married...shit! I don't know what I'm trying to say, but there is one giant
hurdle we've never discussed and that's the difference in our age. I mean,
as handsome and attractive as you are, wouldn't you be better suited with
someone closer to your own age?"

	"I was hoping this conversation would never come up, but I've been
expecting it. Jim, from the people I've known...friends of mine and my
family, lots of times, a guy reaches thirty or mid-thirties before he
decides to either marry or settle down with a mate.  Look at Brad Pitt, he
was over 35 before he married Jennifer Aniston.  But to make my point
further, most straight guys in their thirties want to marry a girl in her
late teens or early thirties. Does the girl worry about her husband being
fifteen or so years older that she?"

	"I don't suppose."

	"Then why should it matter with us? And you're less than fifteen
years older than I, right? It's not like you're in a wheelchair, headed for
a nursing home."

	"But there IS a big difference in our generations. Music is
different, television and movies are different, even morals and morés are
separated by many changes."

	"What, are you saying that you're getting too old to cut the
mustard? Jesus, Jim, you're talking like you're sixty years old and we both
come from different planets."

	"I hear what you're saying, but there is always the fear that the
day may come when someone, younger and more attractive than I, takes my
place."

	"You mean the way that I momentarily have replaced Nina in your
life, because I'm younger, more attractive to you sexually?"

	"I guess that's what prompted my feeling of insecurity."

	"Who knows, what you feel for me could change...the younger
attractive person who came into your life. Who's to say that, by the time I
reach 25 or 30, you won't want someone even younger and more attractive
than I?"

	"I won't. That's where love comes in and builds a trust."

	"Like yours and Nina's?"

	"Goddamn! This is all so confusing and it shouldn't be."

	As they were talking, Tom had noticed a car which had passed by
Jim's house several times, or at least several cars had passed by once, but
every time it, or they, passed, the driver cut off the headlights until he
had gone past Jim's property and they once again, turned the headlights on.

	"Jim, I don't want to alarm you, but I've seen a car driving by a
few times in the last thirty minutes and he cuts off his lights every time
as he passes the house."

	"Do you think it's the police?"

	"No, but I want to go out on the porch in the dark and see if he
passes again, and see if I recognize the car."

	Tom turned off the lights in the foyer so that he could open the
front door and exit unnoticed. He scrunched behind one of the rattan chairs
on the porch and waited. Five minutes later, the car approached again,
again cutting off the headlights. Jim was standing in the shadows of the
doorway when Tom noticed that the car was a blue Mustang. The car quietly
slowed and stopped, the engine was cut off.

	"Jim! My God! Look!", Tom whispered.

	"What?"

	"That's Harm in that car!"

	"You're kidding!"

	"No, look!"

	Jim saw Harm sitting behind the wheel. Jim wasn't afraid to call
out to him because he knew the boy was in trouble and might "open up" to
his coach.

	"Harm!" Jim screamed. "HARM!"

	When Harm saw Jim approaching him, he started his engine and
squealed his tires and raced his car down the street.

	Both Jim and Tom stood there looking stunned as Harm's car sped
away into the early morning's oncoming light.

	"Tom, what the fuck is going on?" Jim shouted.

	"I don't know, Jim. I don't know---but we'd better be careful."

	They stared at each other and suddenly a few of the unanswered
questions were beginning to be revealed.


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(To be continued in "Briarwood"---BOOK SIX--chapter-sixty-one).