Date: Thu, 1 Dec 2005 01:59:40 EST
From: RitchChristopher@cs.com
Subject: briarwood:father-jeff-44

All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or
are offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language,
please exit now.

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                                  "BRIARWOOD"
                             Copyright Ritchris, 2005

                          aka "Whence Cometh My Help"
                             Copyright Ritchris, 2002

                                Revised Version


                                A dramatic saga

                                      by

			        Ritch Christopher

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                                   BOOK FIVE

                                 "FATHER JEFF"

                               Chapter Forty-four


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	"I need you to be with me day and night,
             To tell me what I do is right,
	     Forgive me every time I'm wrong,
	     And sing to me my favorite song.
             I need you.

	 I want you to say the things I want to hear,
             To be my nerve when I have fear,
             To chase away my greatest doubt,
             And teach me what life's all about.
             I want you...the better half of us two.

         You are my castle made of golden sand--
             Everything I've planned.
         You fill the bill of my one demand.
             You strike up my big brass band!

         I'd love you to be with me when I'm growing old,
             To spin one lasting dream of gold.
	     And when it's time to go away--
	     To say close by my side you'll stay.

             I love you.
             I want you.
             I need you."

		 Music and lyrics by
                       Ritch Christopher Snyder
                         from "Pumpkin Man"
            	 Copyrighted by the author,1964,NYC.



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	Jeff stopped by St. Genesius around 10:00 AM. Father Cliff was
reading in office as he usually did that time of day. He gathered notes for
his next sermon in the solitude of his sanctuary. Jeff tapped on the door.

	"Come in," Cliff said,

	"Hi, Father." Jeff said with his usual beaming smile.

	"How was the wedding?"

	"You've seen more weddings than I have. You should know more about
them than I." Jeff replied, hedging from telling Cliff where he really had
been. "Anything important happen while I was gone?"

	"Same old, same old, except I DID get a disturbing call this
morning around three."

	"You mean about the double suicide?"

	"Yes. You heard about it?"

	"Yes, Johnny told me about it before he left for the clinic."

	"He left at that hour?"

	"Yep. You know Johnny!"

	"Yes, I do." Cliff said, smiling. "Jeff, I'm going to be honest
with you."

	"You meant you aren't ALWAYS honest with me?" Jeff joked.

	"You little squirt! Or should I say Father Squirt?" They both
laughed. "What I was going to say is that I constantly worry about Johnny
and I know that you do too."

	"You mean about working night and day?"

	"Exactly. He puts in far too many hours at the clinic, He has a
well-trained and educated staff to cover a lot of the things he could pass
on."

	"I know."

	"You two ought to get away for awhile. Take a month or two off. Go
to Europe. Heck, be like Roger and go see the Dalai Lama...anything to get
away from the stress of the clinic. God knows you can afford it. You boys
are young. You're in love. You should be having the same kind of fun that
young men your age do. Have you ever thought about it?"

	"Sometimes. But Johnny and I are both alike on the score that work
and people come first over our own pleasure." Jeff said.

	Cliff had just opened the topic that would be the ideal time to
tell him about Mackintosh, but he knew he couldn't...NOT until he had
discussed it with Johnny first. Jeff took a moment to just look at
Cliff. Cliff looked serene almost saint-like. Roger had more of the rugged
appearance in contrast to Cliff's but they were so much alike. Maybe it is
true, the longer you live with someone, you not only think alike but in
many ways look alike by mimicking the other's facial expressions, hand
gestures, and even vocal inflections. The very thought of leaving Cliff,
Roger and this wonderful church scared Jeff for a moment. He COULDN'T leave
and that was that!

	Maybe it would be best if Jeff just blatantly told Johnny
everything, and maybe sounding it out loud, would show himself what a folly
it would be to even consider the Mackintosh proposal. If Jeff had decided
NOT to go, telling Johnny could do no harm. At least he would no longer be
concealing the truth about his secret and deceptive trip. Hell, while he
was confessing that to Johnny, Jeff might as well get everything out in the
open and tell him about the money in the bank. The endowment legally became
Jeff's when he turned twenty-one and he hadn't spent a cent of it. Since
his dad handled the trust, Jeff didn't know how much he really had in the
bank, what with the interest building on it for seven years.

	On the way home from Mackintosh, Jeff thought about the secret
money and wondered if Roger had given it to him to further
St. Genesius. Would Roger object if Jeff spent some of it on his whim of
changing parishes?  Probably not, but just the same, it was only right that
Jeff ask Roger in person, not second handed through Cliff. Roger had
rebuilt St. Genesius. He had also created and built the Institute. Jeff
came to the conclusion that because of Roger's venturesome attitude, Roger
would probably suggest to Jeff to spend the whole lump sum on the residents
of the tiny town.

	Jeff knew in his heart that if he told Cliff and/or Roger about his
plan, they would each say, "You know I love you and I'll miss you...but GO
FOR IT! As Dietz and Schwartz put it, go build a world of your own!"

	Yes, that's what both of them would say...but what would Johnny
say? That remained to be seen or rather, heard!

	Jeff left Cliff's study and went down the to his own office, while
stopping to chat with Chris who was assorting books on the shelves of his
office. Jeff and Chris discussed the items on the 'must do' list while
dividing their tasks evenly. There were two impending marriages scheduled
the following week, the Brenner's and the Cutter's. Since neither couple
had mentioned a preference as to whom would perform their ceremonies, Jeff
tossed a coin and "won' the Cutter's, leaving the 'Brenner's' to
Chris. There was not much difference in the two weddings as both parties
wanted a high-mass ceremony. Next, Jeff and Chris looked over the patients'
list at the Institute and once again all but split the roster down the
middle.

	They ranked their patients by the severity of the illness, placing
those who might expire first at the top, leaving the ones about to be
discharged from the hospital to their homes last. The order of this list
was supplied by Ed, who all but knew every patient's history, diagnosis,
and prognosis by memory. Over the past few years, with Cliff and
especially, Jeff and Chris working side by side so closely, daily deaths
and the administering of extreme unction was practically routine for all
three as they had learned not to shirk from dying patients since they
seemed to be in a more immediate need for a priest than those who were
asking for a blessing before they returned home.

	Probably because Jeff was the youngest of the three priests. he
seemed to be better at seeing the children under the age of twelve by
easing their painful bodies and sending their young souls into
eternity. None of the deaths were easy to face for any of the St. Genesius
clergy. Often, a teenager or young adult had more fear of dying at the end,
especially when they were aware they were saying a final farewell to they
lovers, husbands, or wives. Cliff, Chris, and Jeff confronted each case as
it was the only one on their list, giving each of the patients an extra
share of TLC. Although death was a daily procedure, none of the three
'fathers' ever became hardened about it.

	After the hospital visits came the five o'clock confessions at the
church, followed by Evening Vespers which was celebrated by only one of the
three of them. At the end of the long day, Jeff paused to imagine what a
full day of being the rector at St. Aloysius would be like. TWO funerals in
one day? JESUS! In spite of its calling compounded by its beautiful
surrounding of nature, Mackintosh could turn out to be Stress City in the
long run. The only saving grace of the hectic roster of duties would be
having lunch with his lover and that would be the highlight of his day...of
course until he got home in the evening and made love to Johnny before and
after dinner.

	Jeff left Chris and continued down the hall leaving Chris to finish
filing his books alphabetically when Chris' phone rang. He rushed to answer
it since had hadn't spoken with Ed since breakfast.

	"Hello?"

	"Father Chris?"

	"Yes?"

	"It's me, Andy."

	"Well, hello. Where are you?"

	"I'm here in Briarwood."

	"So soon? I didn't expect you until tomorrow or the next day."

	"I...I just couldn't wait to see you!"

	Andy's remark was the first inkling Chris had had that Andy's visit
might become trouble. Chris seemed to sense more than 'disappointment' in
Andy's voice when Chris had told him he was involved with a partner. Chris
and Andy's little one night sexual fling was eight years ago when Andy was
sixteen years old. Surely the kid hadn't harbored a romantic notion all
these years hoping the two of them could just 'pick up' where the affair
ended. After all, Andy was twenty-four or twenty-five years old now. He
must have matured or grown out of his adolescent crush on Chris..


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	Jeff's phone rang a few minutes after Chris', just as Jeff was
about to leave to meet Johnny for lunch.

	"Father Jeff." Jeff answered the phone.

	"Hi, son," said the voice on the other end of the receiver.

	"Hi, Dad.

	"How was the trip?"

	"Good, but tiring."

	"Was the bridegroom happy to see you?"

	Damn, now Jeff had to lie to his dad.

	"I...uh felt right at home being around all the people."

	"That's great. It's good for you to get away from St. Genesius and
the Institute every now and then."

	"How are you and Daddy Dave? I heard you had a big weekend."

	"It was wonderful, Jeff. We had Little Pete and Danny for three
whole days. I can't help but say, it was like having you and Alex running
around the house and romping all over the place like the two of you did
when you were their ages."

	"How do Ryan and Kyle feel about you and Daddy Dave spoiling them
rotten?"

	"Says who?"

	"Says me, that's who."

	"I don't think I did such a bad job raising you and your brother."

	"Good heavens, don't tell me they're showing signs of being gay at
their ages."

	Walter laughed.

	"You know it wouldn't've made any difference to me if you or Alex
were straight or gay. I'd love you no matter what."

	"I know, Dad. I was just trying to get under your skin about your
grandchildren."

	"Have you weaned them off their pacifiers, yet?"

	"Jeff, Danny is ten and Little Pete is eight. What are you talking
about?"

	"Well, I started sucking on a pacifier when I was a baby and I'm
still sucking on a pacifier."

	"You're incorrigible. What would Johnny say if you referred to him
as your pacifier?"

	"He wouldn't mind. We've been together almost eight years and he
still likes me to think of him as my pacifier."

	"I take back what I said a moment ago. Maybe I didn't do such a
good job raising you." Walter joked.

	"OK. And what about Alex? I'll bet he's still using Ted as a
pacifier for nearly twelve years." Jeff joked back and the two of them
laughed. "By the way, Dad, when did you last hear from my brother and my
brother-in-law?"

	"Saturday, as a matter of fact. I invited them both to come home
for a vacation, but neither one of them can ever find time to leave their
jobs for a day, much less a week. They're married to their jobs, the same
as you and Johnny are."

	"God, don't mention it!"

	"Jeff, have you or Johnny ever talked about going away for a month
or so? Say, maybe to Europe?"

	"I see the inking of a conspiracy. Have you been talking to Cliff?"

	"About what?"

	"Cliff said the same thing to me about an hour ago."

	"That's because Cliff and I love you and Johnny and we both think
you should get away and take a trip."

	"Well, now that you mention it. I have thought about taking Johnny
on a little tour of the Northeast...like Vermont or New Hampshire, but I
haven't discussed it with Johnny."

	"That sounds like a wonderful idea! It's beautiful country up
there."

	"We're having lunch together today and maybe I'll confront him with
the idea."

	"If you need a little help in convincing him, I'll help, as I'm
sure David, Cliff and Roger will too."

	"Thanks, Dad. I may need your help. I'm glad you called but I have
to scoot if I'm gonna meet Johnny at noon. By the way, was there some
special reason that you called?"

	"Do I need one?  You're my son and that's reason enough. I love
you. How's that for an excuse to call you?"

	"I love you, too. Kiss Daddy Dave for me and maybe the four of us
can plan dinner one night this week."

	"Sounds like a winner, son."

	"Bye, Dad."

	"Goodbye son."

	Jeff held onto the phone as he replaced it on the receiver. "So
everyone around who loves me thinks that Johnny and I should go away for a
while?" Jeff thought. "I wonder what they would say if they knew I was
thinking about going away with Johnny for a LONG while?" he mused.

	Jeff ran out the door and told Chris where to reach him in case of
an emergency.

	"Have a nice lunch, Jeff and give Johnny a hug for me!" Chris said
as Jeff was leaving.

	"Thanks, Chris."

	Jeff made it to the Institute in less time than Ezekiel's 'wheel in
the road'.

	"Hi, sweetheart," Jeff said as he entered Johnny's office at the
clinic. "Ready for lunch?"

	"Hi, babe," Johnny replied. "I'm almost ready to go. You got a
preference? I mean what kind of food are you in the mood for?"

	"Why don't we lock your door and I'll show you?"

	"Don't think I wouldn't like to, but I'm a little tired."

	"You LOOK tired," Jeff said, "You didn't get more than an hour's
sleep."

	"So what else is new?"

	"Johnny, you can't keep going at this pace. You've got to slow down
or I'll be visiting you in a hospital room."

	"Jeff, you have the same problems that I do; a lot of our
caregiving overlaps. I treat the mind and you treat the soul. I don't see
YOU slowing down in your work."

	"That's because I'm younger than you."

	"You twit! How much younger? A year, maybe."

	"That still makes me younger!"

	"Well, I don't see you walking with a cane at the bright age of
twenty-four!"

	"Uh oh! I can see you're in one of your moods."

	"I'm not. Look, I'm sorry, babe. Come here and give me a kiss."
Johnny beckoned.

	"That sounds like a good idea."

	Jeff walked over to Johnny's desk and planted a big tongue kiss on
his lover.

	"I don't think I could go on if I were to lose you like Father
Cliff lost Roger when Roger went away on his trip."

	"That's the way I feel about you, Johnny, and that's why I worry
about you. This place CAN operate without your being here twenty-four hours
a day."

	"Oh, you're saying that you could find someone to replace me if I
were to go on a world adventure and never come back? You got someone picked
out already?"

	"You KNOW better. If I should lose you, I'd join a monastery and
spend the rest of my life as a celibate."

	"Yeah, you and a bunch of horny old monks." Johnny said in jest.

	"Wow, I hadn't thought about that!" Jeff said, playing along with
Johnny's joking. "Get your coat and let's go! I'm starved. I didn't eat
breakfast. How about you?"

	"I've had three cups of coffee."

	"Yummy, that's nutritious! Where do you want to go?"

	"How's Brook's Nook?"

	"Super! Now let's go."

	Jeff was glad that Johnny had suggested Brook's Nook. It was quiet
and the tables were secluded in individual nooks built in the walls. They
could talk privately there. Heck, it was so dark and intimate you could
have sex in one of the cutouts. No one would ever see except the waiter,
and he was probably gay and wouldn't say anything. BUT, it wasn't sex that
was on Jeff's mind, it was Mackintosh and the move.

	The two of them arrived at Brook's and were seated in a corner
niche, away from everybody. There were no windows and the lighting was so
dim, if you weren't wearing a watch you'd never know whether it was
daylight or dark outside.

	Johnny decided he'd have breakfast and Jeff ordered the same...  an
orange souffle omelet laced with Amaretto, spicy French sausage rolled in
crepes. The waiter took the order and gave Jeff and Johnny a 'knowing'
smile.

	"Who was that waiter coming onto...you or me?" Johnny asked.

	"More than likely, me."

	"Why you? Oh yeah, I remember, you're younger."

	"See age does make a difference." Jeff joked.

	"Did you sleep well?" Johnny asked.

	"Yes, considering I had a difficult time going back to sleep when
you left. I had to masturbate three times."

	"Are you kidding?"

	"Don't ask and I won't tell." Jeff said smugly.

	"Were you fantasizing about me?" Johnny asked.

	"Good Lord! YOU? I've had you. I have to fantasize about guys I've
never had."

	"Three times? My God! Who the hell were you fantasizing about? Who
takes three orgasms to get you off?"

	"Well, number one was Brad Pitt; the second, Jude Law; and I saved
the best for last, Colin Farrell."

	"Brad, Jude, and Colin? I guess I'm in good company with those
three. After all, I'm the one you married."

	"And I'm gonna stayed married to you as long as you don't kill
yourself working day and night at the clinic."

	"Oh, we're back on THAT again?"

	"I was going to ask you about the two guys that 'offed' themselves
last night, but I don't want to talk about the clinic."

	"OK, we'll talk about the wedding you went to," Johnny said,
sipping his water. "You promised to tell me all about it, so talk!"

	Jeff hesitated and reached for his water goblet. He drank all the
water to stall for time. The moment that Jeff feared had come to pass.

	"Johnny." Jeff started, halfway dropping his eyes. "Johnny, I lied
to you. I...I didn't go to a wedding?"

	"Didn't Doug get married?"

	"I don't know. Heck, I haven't talked with him in almost six
months. I don't even know it he has a steady girlfriend."

	"Well, since you told me you lied, do I want you to tell me the
rest...where you actually were and with whom?"

	"I...I went to New Hampshire."

	"Why for God's sake? Why New Hampshire. Did you go alone?"

	"Yes."

	"Did you go to meet with someone?"

	"Yes, but it's not what you think."

	"What's his name?"

	"Frank...Frank Madsen."

	"You'd better stop, Jeff! I don't think I want to hear about this."

	"I TOLD you it's not what you think. I didn't cheat on you if
that's what you're worried about."

	"All right then, why did you drive hundreds of miles to see Frank
Mattson?"

	"Madsen?"

	"Sorry, all right, Frank Madsen. Who is he?"

	Jeff took a big breath and began telling Johnny every detail about
his trip, including the ice cream parlor and the ovation he received after
making a small speech. Johnny listened intensely to Jeff's saga. Johnny's
face didn't change expressions one time during the entire monologue.  Jeff
had been interrupted while the waiter brought their order. The food sat
there. Neither of them picked up a fork to eat until Jeff was finished with
his story.

	"There, now you know everything," Jeff said.

	Johnny exhaled a long sigh. "Jesus! You wanna move to Mackintosh?"

	"I don't know. It all depends on how you feel about the idea."

	"The ENTIRE population has HIV or AIDS?"

	"So Frank told me."

	"God, Jeff, I don't know what to say."

	"I tried to put myself in your shoes to see what I would say if you
had gone to Mackintosh secretly without me."

	"I have the clinic, here!" Johnny said.

	"Yes, and I have one of the largest Anglican churches on the
eastern seacoast, or at least it will be mine some day."

	"Just drop everything and go? Is that what you plan to do?"

	"Only if the two of us make the same decision."

	"And if I say, 'no'?"

	"Then, I'll just forget about the whole thing."

	"But that's not what you want to do, is it, Jeff?"

	"Johnny, I've made no decision. Nothing is set in stone. I'd only
consider going if we went together. I'd never leave you, even if I no
longer worked at St. Genesius!"

	"But aren't you happy, doing what you're doing?"

	"Yes, babe, but I'm not challenged. Mackintosh is a challenge to
me."

	"You can say THAT again." Johnny replied, cutting into his souffle
for the first time and starting to eat. "Three-hundred-fifty dollars a
week, huh? Damn, that's less than the guy who cleans up vomit at the clinic
makes. What would I be doing and how in hell could we live off that little
money. Even if I were matching your income, it still wouldn't be enough for
us to live on. That brings up the next topic. Just what the fuck am I
supposed to do in Mackintosh? Be a postman?"

	"No, they have a postman."

	"Great! Do they need a sanitation worker? I'm good at emptying
garbage cans, but I doubt if Mackintosh pays their sanitation workers more
than minimum wage."

	Johnny took two bites of his food, hoping that time would give him
the courage to tell Johnny his other secret.

	"Johnny," Jeff said, putting down his fork and drinking from the
new goblet of water. "As long as I'm getting everything out in the
open. There's something else I have to tell you."

	"Good God! I don't think I can take any more of your 'secrets'!
Don't tell me that you told Frank that you'd take the job."

	"NO!" Jeff interrupted him. "I would never do that unless we both
came to the same decision."

	"Thank God for that! Is this where you tell me you've found someone
else that will go to Mackintosh with you and leave me?"

	"NO! I'm NOT gonna leave you ever! It...well, it sorta involves
that three-fifty salary you're worrying about."

	"Oh, now you're gonna tell me that if you take the job, you'll work
for free."

	"No, I hadn't thought about that...but it is something to
consider."

	"Jeff, you're being ridiculous! You're behaving like a prepubescent
teenager."

	"I thought you liked me like that."

	"Only when we're alone in our bedroom, making love."

	Jeff smiled but then his face became serious.

	"When Roger almost died...well, my dad is his lawyer, and only he
knew how rich Roger is. Everyone was aware he had an abundant wealth, but
no one, not even Cliff, his lover, knew how extensive his estate actually
is,"

	"I know he has enough to build the Institute, the hospital, and the
clinic. That must've cost zillions!

	"That was his endowment to Briarwood and the gay communities
throughout the world. But that was not the personal trusts he made. He
included my brother Alex, Jay and Troy, Kyle and Ryan, Rob and Timmy, and
me."

	"I suppose the next thing you've kept from me was that he left you
a million dollars or something?"

	"No...not a million...ten million!"

	Johnny's face turned as white as sheet washed in OxyClean."

	"Are you serious?...You're kidding? Right?"

	"I was only seventeen years old when he went away. Roger put ten
million in trust for me until I was twenty-one."

	"You mean, you're NOT kidding?"

	"No, I haven't touched a cent of it. It's just been sitting in the
bank accumulating interest for seven years. There's probably more than that
by now. Only my dad knows how much."

	"Jesus Christ, when you mentioned Roger had given all you Briarwood
Boys part of his fortune, I assumed you were talking about, say,
ten-thousand dollars! Why in God's green earth couldn't you find the time
or trust me enough to tell me it was TEN MILLION?"

	"I, or rather, we didn't need it. I'm making good money, as you
are, and there's never been a reason to touch any of it."

	"Oh, you were afraid I'd marry you for your money?"

	"No, silly, when I became twenty-one, I had my dad put the account
in both our names. So whatever is there...well, half, or all of it, in the
event of my death, belongs to you."

	"Jesus! You are so full of surprises! I'm speechless! I don't know
what to say!"

	"Nothing. Money couldn't change the way we love each other. I
WOULD'VE told you. if we had needed it. To be frank, it kinda embarrasses
me when I think about it. I just felt keeping it a secret would be the best
thing. God, I've felt so guilty! I've wanted to tell you about it so often,
but I didn't know how you would react. I must say, you're taking it better
than I thought."

	"Now I see why three-hundred dollars a week didn't seem to faze
you! Damn! You mean we're millionaires?"

	"Yep."

	"All right, let me ask one favor of you."

	"Anything."

	"Let's just sit here and finish our meal without either of us
saying a word. Let some of this news digest into my psyche. I wouldn't have
been more dumbfounded if you had told me you had had a sex change and was
carrying our baby!  Agreed?"

	"That's fine. I won't say a word,"

	The two of them ate their meal slowly. Jeff wasn't sure if Johnny
even knew what he was eating as Johnny sat there putting food in his mouth
while staring into space as if he were in some kind of stupor.

	The waiter finally broke the silence by asking if either of them
would like a pastry for dessert. They politely refused. Johnny had finished
eating and wiped his lips with the red-clothed napkin.

	At long last, Johnny reached into his inner coat pocket for a
cigarette and began to speak. "Jeff, when you were growing up, you had a
very successful lawyer for a father. You didn't have to eat twenty-five
cent White Castle burgers out of necessity because they were all you could
afford. I bet you never had a pair of shoes resoled or heels replaced. You
never had to go to a discount movie and pass on popcorn because you
couldn't afford it. You always had a good meal three times a day. You never
had to put extra blankets on your bed because your father couldn't afford
to run the gas heat at night. I'll bet you never wore clothes from the
Goodwill or K-Mart. You probably had a dog, not just the neighbor's dog
that you petted and pretended it was yours. But, I did all these things and
more. I lived poorly...grew up with poor people and learned to sympathize
with them. When I got my first 'good-paying' job, I gave half of it away
for food and clothing on the guys and their parents that I'd grown up
with. I swore I'd become a champion of the underprivileged. Then, when I
was about sixteen, I discovered I was gay.  Personally, I was lucky because
every gay friend I had, died when the AIDS virus hit so big. I helped all I
could with my meager income. I worked at clinics and suicide prevention
phone jobs, doing all I could to help. Then a couple of years later, I was
contacted by you to assist you in some cockamamie debate with a red neck
preacher. Well, I had no idea I would fall in love with you, nor would I
eventually wind up with the position I have now, let alone, the humongous
salary I'm making. I guess I owe a lot or most of my success to you."

	"No, you don't," Jeff managed to say.

	"Now, don't interrupt I listened to your Mackintosh proposal, so
now it's my turn to talk."

	"Sorry," Jeff muttered, still feeling embarrassed by his
revelations to Johnny.

	"You say there are thirty-five hundred residents in Mackintosh?"

	"More or less, to quote Frank," Jeff said.

	"And they all have AIDS, or at least HIV infected?"

	"Yes."

	"Would you mind if I go see for myself?"

	Jeff's face brightened by Johnny's sudden question."

	"Are you serious?" Jeff asked.

	"If you feel that you love the place, then there must be some kind
of attraction. So, the least I could do, would be to go for a weekend
visit?"

	"Johnny!" Jeff said, fighting back tears. "How soon would you want
to go?"

	"Well, the longer you take to make up your mind, the longer the
residents will be without a priest."

	"When, then?"

	"How about THIS weekend?"

	Jeff was ecstatic! He was like a kid whose dad had just invited him
to go see Disney World for the first time. He smiled and tried to lighten
the conversation.

	"Gee, I don't know, Johnny. I just got back yesterday and well,
geez, I don't know if we both could afford to make another trip."

	"You have any money?"

	"A dollar or two in the bank. You?"

	"The same, I guess...Jesus Christ! We're millionaires?"

	"Yep, and you've been one for over three years. You just didn't
know about it."

	"Were you afraid I'd write a big check and run off to find a new
boyfriend or husband?"

	"Don't think the idea didn't cross my mind."

	"Honey, baby! I married you when I didn't have a cent. Do you think
I would love you less because I suddenly became rich?"

	"In that case, you won't live to spend any of it?"

	"You'd shoot me over money?"

	"No, but I'd try to fuck you to death."

	"God, what a way to go!"

	"Are you still mad at me?"

	"There's just one more thing."

	" Oh God, what?"

	"What ELSE are you keeping from me?"

	"Nothing, Johnny, I swear by all that's holy. There are no more
secrets and no more lies. I promise you on our love."

	"Then, if you can get away from the church, we'll drive to
Mackintosh this weekend."

	"God, I love you!" Jeff exclaimed and kissed Johnny there in the
restaurant for all to see!

	Their kiss was short-lived by the waiter standing at the table with
the check. He cleared his throat rather loudly. The kiss embarrassed the
waiter more than it did Jeff and Johnny.

	"Will there be anything else, sirs?" the waiter asked.

	"No thanks." Johnny said, reaching for the small silver tray that
held the check.

	"No, no, my treat." Jeff insisted.

	Jeff grabbed the bill and read it. It was for $35.00. Jeff looked
at Johnny and asked, "How much cash do you have on you?"

	"You broke?"

	"No."

	"I've got maybe $150.00 in my wallet."

	"Let me have it."

	Johnny opened his billfold and handed Jeff a one hundred dollar
bill, two twenties, a ten, two fives, and several ones. Johnny counted out
the twenty, the ten, and a five and handed it to the waiter.

	"This is for the food," Jeff said. Then he took the hundred-dollar
bill and gave it to the waiter, "This is for you."

	"Thank you, sir," the waiter replied in astonishment and walked
slowly away from the table.

	"Why did you do that?" Johnny asked.

	"We can afford it...and besides, I think the waiter needed to have
his shoes re-soled."

	Johnny took a long look at his lover and smiled. "No wonder I
married you."

	"You just now figured that out?"

	"No, I knew it the moment I first saw you."

	"Me, too. Now let's get out of here. We both have rounds to make at
the hospital."

	They left Brook's Nook, not knowing when either of them had been
happier. As they were getting back into the car, Johnny stopped and asked,
"Hey, you didn't ever sleep with your 'Uncle Roger', did you?"

	"Good Lord, no!"

	"He must love you the way I do."

	"He loves me but definitely NOT the way you do! Now I want you to
take a nap when we get home because I intend keeping you up all night!"


<><><><><><>

	It wasn't too difficult for Jeff and Johnny to get away for the
weekend. After all, it was Cliff, Roger and Walter's idea for them to take
some time off. Jeff and Johnny didn't lie about the purpose of the New
Hampshire excursion, they had told everyone that they were driving to God
knows where up in New England...maybe do a little mountain hiking, camping,
fishing, or whatever. Johnny insisted on doing most of the driving. Jeff
watched him out of the corner of his eye. He saw Johnny's facial
expressions and his body language relaxing the further they got away from
Briarwood and the woes of the Cole Clinic. The air was crisp and
invigorating. The countryside was beautiful as the two of them made their
way through mountain passes overlooking glens that appeared to be hidden
away from civilization. "Could there be more places like Mackintosh that
I've never heard of?" Jeff thought to himself.

	Johnny still wasn't convinced that the move was the right thing to
do. In his mind, he envisioned Mackintosh as being a beautiful AIDS respite
like a disguised colony for lepers in some exotic setting.

	"You tired?" Jeff asked.

	"Nope," Johnny replied.

	"Let me know when you want me to drive. OK?"

	"Sure."

	"I'm so glad that we were able to take this trip, even if we don't
accept Frank's offer. Do you realize this is our first vacation together in
almost eight years?"

	"Yes, the thought occurred to me."

	"We could sorta count this as our belated honeymoon." Jeff said,
smiling.

	"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! That's all you ever think about!" Johnny joked.

	"Only because I'm so much younger than you,"

	"You're never going to let me live down that remark, are you?"

	"Well, now that you mention it, Methuselah, most husbands would be
proud to have a young horny mate."

	"Most husbands would drop dead from exhaustion trying to satisfy a
mate as horny as you."

	"When's the last time you had a medical checkup?"

	"Last month. Why?"

	"And how was your EKG and BP?"

	"Normal."

	"Whew! That's a relief. Maybe the two of us should resort to more
oral sex. That wouldn't tax your body as much." Jeff said, still playing
along with the joke. This was a custom they had developed over their years
together. They would play act various scenarios for hours at a time.

	"Have I told you today that I love you?" Johnny said.

	"Now that you mention it, you haven't!"

	"Well, I do."

	"I love you, too, Johnny."

	"Listen, don't forget your promise that you won't get angry at me
if I don't like Mackintosh...and you'll be honest with me!"

	"That was part of the deal and I'll live up to it!"

	"Wanna stop for a bite to eat?" Johnny asked.

	"We don't have to stop! Just keep driving and I'll unzip your
pants."

	"You sex maniac! I want something to eat...FOOD!"

	"Oh, in that case. I'll settle for a burger and fries...for now."

	Johnny laughed. "That's why I love you. You've got all the money in
the world; to buy anything you like to eat; and you never stray from your
boyish burger and fries."

	"I like 'em. Why settle for Chateaubriand when all I want is ground
beef and greasy potatoes?"

	"That's what I used to think every time I looked in the mirror and
thought why you would want to love me?"

	"Well, believe you me, I'd never call you ground beef...maybe
chopped liver." Jeff said, laughing.

	The two of them kept up with the quips until they found a roadside
inn and stopped to eat. They were having fun, as when they first got
together. It was as if the clock rolled back and they were two teenagers
going on their first date.

	Jeff insisted on driving the rest of the way. He wanted Johnny to
see the beauty of the land and drink in his first impression of
Mackintosh. As they approached the city limits, Jeff stopped the car on one
of the mountain peaks and invited Johnny to survey the tiny hamlet from
above.

	"It's quaint, all right." Johnny said, and then added, "It's
certainly hidden, too. They DO have running water and indoor toilets, don't
they?"

	"Yeah, and electricity and phones with buttons that you can block
all incoming calls. Come on, I want you to see Main Street in broad
daylight."

	The shops, buildings, and houses were just as Jeff had described
them...like a Lilliput for grownups. Each structure was painted with a
bright color but the hues didn't clash with the building next to it. It was
as if the whole village had had a master architect designing the matching
color scheme...like a rainbow.

	"It's beautiful, Jeff."

	"I think so, too,"

	"Where's St. Aloysius?"

	"Way down at the other end of the town. It's kinda off to itself on
a sloped meadow."

	"And where would we be living?"

	"I don't know.  I didn't want Frank to show me the manse just in
case I liked it and became attached to it.

	"Good. That's one thing we can share together."

	Jeff didn't want to build his hopes up too high, but he was elated
over the fact that Johnny had only "plus" comments and no negatives. Jeff
knew Johnny well enough to know when he was faking, and Johnny seemed quite
sincere with his compliments.

	"Jeff, do you have any idea what I could do up here?"

	"A few. Don't you have some ideas, too?"

	"Yeah, a couple." Johnny replied. "The first thing I would like to
know is why these guys choose to live out their lives and not seek some of
the treatments that we provide at the Institute? It's as if they were
choosing early deaths, rather that fight the fight. There should be a
center, right in the heart of town where guys and gals could come to and
let someone steer them in the right direction. Probably some or most could
stabilize themselves into remission. You know of the advanced medicine and
treatment that we provide in Briarwood, Someone needs to tell them about it
and point them in another direction from the inevitable crematory."

	"And who is that 'someone' you're talking about? Any name come to
mind?"

	Johnny realized he had talked himself into a corner and there would
be hell to pay for a semi-commitment he had just made without a positive
resolution.

	Jeff drove slowly down Main Street. A few of the guys that Jeff had
met at the ice cream parlor raised their hands when the recognized
him. Some shouted, "Hey Father!" Jeff waved back at them and with his
peripheral vision he saw Johnny smiling.

	"You must've made a pretty good hit with the folks around here,"
Johnny said, waving too. "You think they know who I am and why we're here?"

	"Probably," Jeff smiled. "You've been gay long enough to know that
'ladies about the town' can't keep secrets."

	"Unless the 'lady' happens to be a priest!" Johnny quipped.

	"Johnny, close your eyes and keep them closed until I say it's all
right to open 'em. OK?"

	"Why?"

	"Just do as I say," Jeff commanded.

	Jeff continued his drive though the town until he drove to the
bottle of the slight hill where St. Aloysius stood.

	"All right now, keep your eyes closed until I get you out of the
car."

	"This is stupid," Johnny uttered.

	Jeff got out of the drivers side and opened the passenger door for
Johnny. He led Johnny to the best possible view of the church.

	"Now open 'em!" Johnny said.

	Johnny obeyed and stood still for a few moments to let his eyes
adjust and see the beauty of the structure.

	"Jeff, it's...it's..."

	"Ssssh! Don't say a word until you've seen the insides. I don't
want to hear any comment from you pro or con until then,"

	Jeff took Johnny by the hand and pulled him up the slight slope. He
was reminded of one of Uncle Roger's favorite DVD's, where Jennifer Jones
had pulled William Holden up a similar hill to enjoy the view.

	Jeff led Johnny into the church as each of them stopped to dip
their fingers in the holy water and cross themselves.  They then walked up
to the altar rail, genuflected, and knelt. Jeff closed his eyes to pray,
while Johnny who wasn't too fond of praying, stared at the altar and the
crucifix hanging above it. Johnny turned his head to observe the tiny
stained glass windows and the little pews that looked to be hand carved on
the ends. To Johnny, it looked like a chapel built for Sleeping Beauty's
castle in Disney World.  St. Genesius, back home in Briarwood, would rival
the splendor of St. John the Divine's in New York with all the statues of
the Apostles and various saints, and all the gold filigree on the altar,
railing, columns, etc.  St. Genesius was definitely the kind of church that
Roger would have built if God had told him to rebuild Solomon's Temple.

	But this church...this tiny church was so austere and reverent. It
gave the idea of religion a whole new dimension. It gave Johnny a warm,
peaceful glow inside him. He continued his visual tour making a 180 until
he saw Jeff's eyes closed in prayer.

	"So this is what enamored Jeff." Johnny thought, "No wonder he
became captivated by it. This is Jeff's dream. How could I possibly ruin it
for him? Marriage is give and take. Jeff has given me so much...my life, my
career, and his love. How much of a sacrifice would it be for me to repay
him with this move?" Johnny's gaze returned to the altar, and now, he
closed his eyes and prayed. When he sensed that Jeff had finished his
prayer, Johnny opened his eyes and looked into Jeff's.

	"Now you can tell me what you think," Jeff said. "But, remember,
whatever you say must be totally honest and from your heart."

	"Look at my face, Jeff. Tell me what you see."

	"I see the one person in life I love more than life itself."

	"Does my face tell you anything about how I feel?"

	"After nearly eight years, we both know how to read one another's
faces."

	"Then you know how I feel."

	"Yes, but just this once, I want you to say it out loud."

	"I think Ruth said it to Naomi better than I...'Whither thou goest,
I will go...and your people shall be my people...and your house and land
shall be my house and land."

	It was impossible to say which of them burst into tears first. Jeff
knew that Johnny had just committed himself and he loved him even more, if
that were possible. The two of them embraced and kissed softly, still
kneeling before the altar. Neither of them was aware they had been seen and
were still being watched.

	"Mmm hmn," came a sound from behind them...someone clearing his
throat. "Am I interrupting?" Frank asked.

	"No," Jeff turned and replied, "Hi, Frank, this is Johnny."

	"I hoped and prayed that it would be. I hoped he wasn't somebody
new that you had met along the way up here."

	"Nope, he's mine forever."

	"Hello, Johnny," Frank said, offering his hand to shake.

	"Hi, Frank," Johnny said, a bit embarrassed to be caught kissing in
public...and at a church at that!  "Jeff told me wonderful things about
you."

	"I'll bet he told me more about you than me, you," Frank said,
smiling.

	"Jeff...or rather Father Jeff has always had a gift of blarney,
even though I don't think he's Irish." Johnny replied, shaking Frank's
hand.

	"May I be presumptuous in asking how long you plan to visit?" Frank
asked.

	"The whole weekend...maybe longer!" Jeff quickly retorted.

	"That's wonderful." Frank said. "I hope you get to meet most of the
residents. We're having a party at the Powder Puff Pub tomorrow night. I'd
like both of you to attend. Normally it lasts until midnight but we can
stay longer since we don't have to get up early for church the next day."

	"Why not? No mass on Sunday?" Jeff asked.

	"No priest...no mass."

	"I'm here! I can celebrate mass with you." Jeff added.

	"I don't know if that's wise, Father."

	"Why not?"

	"Suppose everyone came and fell in love with you and you came to a
conclusion you didn't want to become our rector. It might cause more
heartache than good."

	Jeff knew he was being put on the spot. He was a bit uncomfortable,
especially since he and Johnny hadn't talked the proposal all the way
through.

	"Yes, Frank, I realize that," Jeff said, "but there IS the
possibility that they won't like me."

	"I doubt that, Padre." Johnny said to Jeff.

	"You wouldn't object?" Jeff asked his lover.

	"Hell, no! Excuse me, Frank, that's one husband talking to
another."

	"Whaddya say we give it a try, Frank?" Jeff asked, more
enthusiastically.

	"I suppose, maybe...if you really want to."

	"I don't have any vestments with me though,"

	"There are dozens of vestments in the priest's vestry. Some of them
you'd probably never want to wear."

	"How so?"

	"Have you ever seen a priest's robe designed by a drag queen?"

	"No."

	"You've got a lot to see then. Father Phillips never wore any of
them either. He, as I, didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings but some are
them are rather outlandish...colors, fabrics, beads, even sequins."

	Jeff and Johnny laughed together.

	"I gotta see them, Frank! My curiosity is getting the best of me."

	"Well, don't say you weren't warned." Frank added.

	The priest's wardrobe was a hoot and a half. Every time Jeff would
see one that was bizarre, he would find the next one even more so. Frank
joined them as they gleefully cheered over each vestment. There were many
which were much more reserved, that Jeff could choose from. But Jeff had
his own private joke imagining how Father Cliff would look in some of the
wild garments.

	"Is there a motel or a place we can stay?" Johnny asked.

	"You can stay at my house. But I only have one bed in the
guestroom, unless that presents a problem."

	"I think we can manage sharing a bed," Johnny replied. "We've been
sharing the same bed for almost eight years. So, yes, we'll take you up on
your offer. But you will let us buy the food as long as we're here."

	"Fair enough." Frank said. "Now I'm going to be the envy of dozens
of queens because you're staying at my house and not theirs."

	"We could split up and one of us could stay with someone else, if
that's better." Johnny offered.

	"Like hell, we will. You won't sleep in another bed while I'm
within shouting distance," Jeff exclaimed.

	"Good heavens," Frank chided, "do I detect a note of
jealousy... after all these years?"

	Jeff thought a second before answering, "You know, come to think of
it, neither of us has ever been jealous."

	"We've never given the other a reason to be jealous, Frank," Johnny
added.

	"I swear, I keep trying to find something wrong with you,
Jeff. Something I can blame, if you decide not to accept our offer. But the
more I'm around you, well, you seem to get better with each moment."

	"Oh, he has his flaws, Frank. Believe me!" Johnny said.

	"Well, I hope I never find one. You'll warn me if he's erring,
won't you?"

	"I won't have to. You'll see it for yourself."

	"I'm curious, Jeff, what would it take to get your dander up?"
Frank asked.

	"Let me answer that!" Johnny interrupted. "Just let Jeff see
someone deprive another of his rights, or let some politician come down on
the gay community and Jeff becomes a tiger with a buzz saw in his
mouth. He's fought so many battles for gays that if the entire population
should band together, they would elect Jeff, President of the Gay United
States."

	"Well, you were fighting the cause just as hard, or more so, when
we first met."

	"My God, what a team the two of you must make." Frank said,
proudly.

	"That's right, Frank, we ARE a team. So if you want one of us,
you'll have to take both." Jeff said.

	"I'm glad you brought that up," Frank replied. "We, older gays,
have been talking since your visit here, Jeff. Don't think any of us have
never heard of Johnny and the work he has done! We're more than aware of
it. AND, we also discussed what we could offer Johnny if it meant that you
wouldn't accept our proposal without him."

	"Did you come to any conclusion?" Jeff asked.

	"We had quite a few ideas," Frank said.  "The problem, of course,
is the salary. No matter what job we offer Johnny...I mean, even if he were
elected Mayor of Mackintosh, it wouldn't come close to what he's making
now, I'm sure."

	"You tell me the ideas, and let ME worry about the money!" Johnny
said, a bit stronger.

	"If you could choose to do anything you wished in Mackintosh,
Johnny, what would it take to entice you? I realized that's an impertinent
question, considering you've only been here less than an hour, and haven't
met anyone except me."

	"Frank, when we drove through town. Dozens of guys waved at
Jeff. He didn't know them personally, but the way they looked at him, they
looked like they knew him. They NEEDED him. I know how much he means to me
and all his parishioners, my clients, and the hospital patients. Gays with
the disease are the same anywhere...with the same feelings of hopelessness
and despair...the same fear of death...the loneliness they feel...the
unacceptance they've been shown by their families and so-called
friends. I've worked with guys like that for over ten years. I know all
about them! I know what they want; what they need; and what they can expect
after they've been disappointed or rejected...all too many times! If I can
help one, or if I can help all thirty-five hundred, then I can do it here
as well as Briarwood or anywhere else."

	Johnny's blatant honesty brought tears to Frank's eyes. Jeff's eyes
were full too.

	Frank's voice quivered as he tried to compose himself. "You'll have
to forgive me if what you've just said chokes me up a bit. I've never heard
anyone voice such dedication. I doubt if my late, Jack, ever heard it
either. I wish to God, I could record your speech and blast it throughout
Congress and the White House for all to hear. Jesus! It's quite difficult
to determine which of you is the preacher."

	Jeff eyed Johnny and socked him gently on the shoulder.

	"Johnny, let me put it this way. You know your talent best, and
what you can do to help us more than we know ourselves. Why don't you just
create a position...call it any name you like...commissioner of
whatever. You decide, and we'll make the salary offer as large as we can
budget it."

	"How much are they going to pay you Jeff?"

	Frank spoke up. "Four hundred dollars a week."

	"I thought you told me three-fifty, Jeff."

	"I did."

	"Well, that's before we had our little meeting."

	"Why don't you offer Jeff, three-fifty, as you did before, and that
way you can afford to pay me two-fifty per week?"

	Frank's face lit up with disbelief! It was like a 'third miracle'.

	"I...I don't know what to say." Frank said, again fighting tears.
"Am I to presume that you're both saying 'yes'?"

	"We haven't discussed it between us, yet." Jeff said.

	"Do we have to?" Johnny asked looking into Jeff's eyes. "Don't you
want to move here?"

	"Yes, I do, but only on the condition that you do too, and you're
happy with your decision."

	"Father Babe, you said it just a moment ago. We're a team...for now
and always.  We think alike we react the same way. We both fight the same
dragons and windmills. And we love each other as we always have. What makes
YOU happy makes ME happy...and vice versa."

	"Does the vice versa mean that you want to move here too." Jeff
asked in his Jeffrey boyish way.

	"Yes, babe, I want to move here with you."

	"God, Johnny, you are so wonderful. I could never thank the
Almighty enough, for giving me you."

	"The Almighty had nothing to do with it. I gave myself to you when
you gave yourself to me."

	The two of them hugged unashamed in front of Frank. Frank could
feel the love pouring out of the two young men standing before him.

	Jeff released Johnny to ask, "Frank, we're gonna need a place to
stay. I mean we can't live with you."

	"We have a manse, but believe me, when you're ready to move into
it, it won't look as it does now. You've never seen the way frustrated
queers can hammer. They'll remodel the whole place! Just you wait!"

	"I suppose we ought to make some kind of time frame of assuming our
duties here," Johnny said.

	"How long do you recommend?" Frank asked.

	"I suppose we could tie all our loose ends together in Briarwood
and be ready to move...say in thirty days? Is that enough, babe?"

	"A month sounds good!" Jeff replied.

	"Then, your house will be ready thirty days from today." Frank
said, joining into their hug. "Now, let's go drum up some sinners!!"

	They laughed and the three of them walked arm and arm out of the
church. The first place they stopped, of course, was the ice cream
parlor. Word spread around the residents faster than the whirlwind that led
the Children of Israel out of Egypt. The parlor was packed with spectators
and greeters to get a look at the man they hoped would be their new mentor
and the mentor's boyfriend.

	Those who had never met, or seen Jeff on his first visit, crowded
around him, patting him on the back, shaking his hand, giving him
hugs. Others who were not sure which one Jeff was. were doing the same
things to Johnny. Just in case they were greeting the wrong person, they
wanted to cover both bases.

	It was impossible to know which of the two, Jeff or Johnny, was
more elated. They both had friends in Briarwood, who would live and die for
them, but these guys and gals...these Mackintosh residents exuded a
different feeling than the Briarwood clan...a feeling of need, want, and
desire for someone to give them hope. Johnny felt it instantly, looking
into face after face and accepting the embraces of everyone who could get
near him.

	Johnny remained steadfast at this celebration until he knew he was
going to breakdown with emotion.  He somehow excused himself to use the
toilet.  He made his way into the yellow and white bathroom, retreating
into one of the booths where he locked the door and wept openly by himself,
Johnny had spent ten years of his life working with HIV and AIDS
patients. He had held their hands while they took their last breaths. He
had closed their eyes when they had died. He had witnessed several cures
and seen guys getting both good and bad news from their doctors, but never
in his life, had Johnny felt more needed. This place! This hidden Avon in
the mists of the White Mountains of New Hampshire had solely enraptured him
in less than two hours. Johnny thought that if there was such a thing as
Divine Intervention, this was positive proof that it existed. He composed
himself, wiped his eyes and washed his face with cold water before
returning to the revelry in the parlor.

	When he returned, the crowd had gathered around Jeff in a
semi-circle and were chanting, "Speech! Speech! Speech!". Jeff raised his
hands to quieten them down and spoke in the now, silent room.

	Jeff's voice broke from tears of joy and elation, "Guys! Guys and
gals! The last time I made a short speech to you. I don't intend to do that
today." The crowd made an "ooh" disappointed sound. "I want you to meet the
other half of my life. In case some you hadn't already figured out that I'm
gay." This brought tittles of laughter, and Jeff continued. "Some of you
have had lovers...some never have had a steady lover, I suppose, but God
has graced me with mine for over seven years. Those of you that get to know
me will already know him, because we, two, make up the sum of us. His name
is Johnny. That's him over there...the one whose eyes are swollen from
crying, in case you haven't noticed. I love him more than life and he loves
me." The crowd broke into applause and whistles. "The reason I'm not going
to give you a speech or any words of wisdom is because, day after tomorrow,
I'll be conducting mass at your St. Aloysius. and if you want to hear what
I have to say...well, just be there on Sunday." Spontaneous applause
erupted. "Looking at this big crowd, I somehow feel you won't all be able
to get in at one service. So, I'll be celebrating mass at seven-thirty for
you non-drinkers; nine o'clock mass for the casual drinkers; and eleven AM
for those of you who party late at the Powder Puff Pub." This brought
hysterical laughter and a huge round of applause. "And now if you'll
forgive me, I want to go and show Johnny the rest of the town, if all of
you will help me."

	The large gathering inside and outside of the parlor parted the way
to the door as each one of them tried to invite Jeff and Johnny to visit
their stores or houses. It was like several hundred guides trying to show
the city to two tourists.

	There was plenty of time and Jeff and Johnny didn't stop until they
had entered every store and shop on Main Street. Guys were offering them
free goods and samples...anything, that might make the two guests remember
them.

	It was nearly seven-thirty before Jeff and Johnny arrived at
Frank's house. Frank had left them around five to go home to prepare
dinner. They arrived at Frank's, exhausted but exuberant from the afternoon
visitations.

	Frank showed them to the guestroom where they placed their luggage
on the bed. Johnny smiled at the decor of the bedroom, consisting of
various frills and brightly colored knickknacks and folderol.

	"Tired?" Jeff asked Johnny.

	"Yes, but 'good' tired." Johnny replied.

	"You guys hungry?" Frank yelled from the kitchen.

	"Starved!" Jeff yelled back at him.

	"The bathroom is down the hall on your right. I placed clean towels
and washcloths for you by the lavatory if you want to freshen up a bit
before you eat. Dinner is ready."

	"Thanks, Frank," Johnny called back to him.

	The two of them washed their hands and faces and went into the
dining room. The room was dark, only lighted with candles. The china,
crystal, and silverware were placed so properly on a long white damask
tablecloth. The set up looked like a French restaurant you'd see in the
pages of Cuisine magazine.

	"Wow!" Jeff exclaimed.

	"Thank you, Jeff." Frank said to Jeff's response. "The dinnerware
consists of things that Jack and I collected on our various tours of
Europe."

	"Everything's beautiful, Frank." Johnny added.

	"You two are actually the first guests I've entertained since
Jack's passing. I thought tonight, being such a special occasion, Jack
would want me to do it up brown."

	"You and Jack had such elegant taste." Jeff said.

	"No, not I. That was mostly Jack. He taught me how to appreciate
the better things in life. Jack came from a wealthy family and he spent our
life together teaching me to appreciate good food, fine wine, and
longhaired music. I, on the other hand, had to grow up on cheap meals,
bought with food stamps, when we could get them. I only had one pair of
shoes for four years. I kept getting them resoled."

	This remark brought an immediate eye-contact between Jeff and
Johnny. They exchanged a 'knowing' smile between them.

	"Jack paid for my schooling at the Ft. Lauderdale School of
Culinary Arts and I became a chef...just for him. I wanted our life
together to simulate the kind he had known before me."

	The meal was more like a feast, consisting of canard roti, dressage
de chataigne, souffle d'igname de chine, and cocotte en terre de broccoli,
and a bottle of imported Chablis. For dessert, Frank had prepared his own
recipe combining Cherries Jubilee with Bananas Flambe. It was heavenly.

	Even though, Johnny was the only occasional smoker between the two,
it seemed only fair to end the evening with a cigar and a snifter of
Courvoisier while they listened to Leontyne Price's Puccini Arias on CD...a
perfect finish for a perfect 'new' day.

	Jeff and Johnny said their goodnights to Frank and drifted off to
the guestroom where they undressed and plopped into bed. They lay on their
backs, naked, for a long time, staring at the ceiling, reliving the past
twelve hours.

	It was Jeff who made the first move to disturb their reverie by
rolling his body next to Johnny's. Johnny followed Jeff's lead, and the two
of them were breathing into each other's face. Instantly, their arms
enveloped the other's body and they kissed...long and passionately. They
stopped at the same time to catch their breath.

	"Do you realize this is the first moment we've had all day to talk
and be alone?" Johnny asked, pecking at Jeff's lips.

	"Yeah, I know."

	They kissed once more.

	"Johnny? What do you think? Is this what you really want?"

	"If it's what you want, then I want it too,"

	"I knew you would say that...but, please don't placate, patronize,
or try to condescend me. Is this what YOU want?"

	"Yes, my love. I could live with you here, Briarwood, or
Timbuktu. It really wouldn't matter as long as we're together." Johnny
replied. "I saw it in their faces. They NEED you here...and I saw it in
your face...YOU need THEM."

	"I know. I thought I read in your eyes that YOU needed them too."

	"Was I THAT obvious?"

	"You think I don't know your thoughts?"

	"I know you do...and you're right. We could do wonders here, Jeff,
the two of us."

	"God, this is the happiest day of my life." Jeff sighed into
Johnny's ear, while waiting for Johnny's verbal response. "Can you say
that, Johnny?"

	"No, not really, because every day with you is the happiest day of
my life."

	Jeff pressed harder into Johnny and their bodies meshed
together. They made love, non-stop, for the next two hours.


<><><><><><><><>

	The next day, Jeff and Johnny drove around town exploring and
visiting many of the residents in their homes. Everyone greeted them as
long lost brothers. Every place they stopped, someone insisted that the two
of them sample some of his homemade goodies...candy, cake, pie, cookies,
cupcakes...on and on until they were about to burst or go into insulin
shock. Neither of them refused anything that was offered for fear they
would hurt someone's feelings. They became so stuffed, they thought it best
to quit the visitations before they choked on another ladyfinger.

	They drove through the hilly countryside, got out of the car, and
wandered though small fir forests, shady glens,and waded in rippling
waterfalls. They stopped at an enormous crystal blue lake which was
mirroring the sky above, filled with fluffy cumulus clouds...and the
mountains...those glorious mountains. Everything was perfect and a site to
behold! This must've been what Eden looked like! No, if Eve had lived here,
she wouldn't have eaten that eggplant or whatever and got kicked out. It
was going to be difficult to leave this place for a short while until their
return.  Another reality dawned on them... LEAVING BRIARWOOD! How could
they explain any of this to everyone...all their family and friends? What
would Father Cliff do without Jeff? How would the clinic continue to
operate without Johnny's guidance? What would they do with their home and
their furniture? Leave it? Sell it? Give it away? What to keep and what not
to? All these decisions to make in thirty days seemed like their first
drawback about leaving Briarwood.

	Neither of them spoke of these things, but since the two of them
thought alike. they kept their worries to themselves. Were they being
foolish? Had they become too whimsical by this fantasyland? They didn't
dare look at each other for fear that the other would see the doubt in each
other's face. Instead, they walked hand and hand squeezing them harder as
the reticent doubts popped into their minds. This was a form of
communication that each of them understood without saying a word to
discourage the other.

	Could they...would they...or should they back out now before they
told anyone at home about their decision?  Jeff had planned to announce his
intention to the Mackintosh residents tomorrow at mass. But what if somehow
word got back to Briarwood before they returned? What would Father Cliff,
Walter, and especially, Roger think or have to say. Jeff pondered this
silently. When his brother Alex had moved to L.A. with Ted, Daddy Walt and
Daddy Dave had been so supportive. Even Father Cliff and Roger had given
them a send off before they left for California. Alex had held down the job
at the clinic before Johnny assumed the position. But then, Alex hadn't
been given ten-million dollars from Roger as he had. Jeff wondered if he
would feel better giving his gift back to Roger. Oh God! Things had seemed
so wonderful, so possible, yesterday and now...this day had brought Jeff
and Johnny back to a reality that neither of them wanted to face or even
think about.

	They returned back to Frank's and had a quick drink...neither of
them were the least bit hungry after sampling what must've been hundreds of
Betty Crocker's, Martha Stewart's, and Charles Pillsbury's delights the
earlier part of the day...the kind that everyone's mom used to make.

<><><><><><>

	The Powder Puff Pub was packed. However, upon the arrival of Jeff,
Johnny, and Frank, the crowd parted as it had at the ice cream parlor to
make way for the three of them. Broadway show tunes were blasting from all
the speakers...Merman, Martin, Streisand, Stritch, and Peters rocked the
place. One section of the taproom was cordoned off for patients in
wheelchairs...even a place for them to dance. It was Saturday night and
nearly half of the guests, both men and women, were dressed in complete
drag. They looked great as if some Hollywood makeup artist had brought
Marilyn, Judy, Lana, and Rita back to life: not to mention Clark, Errol,
and James.

	Around 9:00 PM, came the blast of a huge trumpet fanfare, the one
Sondheim had written for the overture of 'Forum'. This meant the drag show
was about to start. The oddest thing though, all the performers used their
own voices. It was as if the room was filled with dozens of Jim Baileys.
First up was "Everything's Coming Up Roses", then, "Zip", from "Pal
Joey". The obvious piece, which brought down the house, was the three
strippers doing, "You Gotta Have A Gimmick" from "Gypsy". It was a hoot to
see "Sky of Blue" from "Little Mary Sunshine" with the roles reversed. A
Lesbian was singing the Mounties's role and a long-lashed queen imitating
Eileen Brennan as "Little Mary". The guys and gals did their best numbers,
probably because neither Jeff nor Johnny had seen them before. "Don't Rain
On My Parade", So Long Dearie", "Bosom Buddies", were wailed and whooped
for the next two hours. The best of Broadway and MGM musicals were
showcased. Then it was time for the finale. The room became totally quiet
as four men and four women joined hands across the stage and started to
sing, Jacque Brel's, "If We Only Have Love".  This moved Jeff and Johnny to
tears with nearly everyone in the audience joining them. Everyone sang the
last chorus of the song.

	At the end of the song, no one clapped or cheered, everything
remained silent as if they were at church or a funeral. Then the eight on
the stage parted upstage forming a 'V'. A solo spot hit a guy appearing in
the middle, dressed in white chiffon dress. Not a soul moved. This was some
kind of ritual that they had done many times.

	A voice came through the intercom, "And now we pause to remember
and reflect on our residents whom we have lost this month....James
Tyner...then a bell chimed once...Lawrence Burton...(another
chime)...Leslie Jacobsen....(chime) ...Jane Fairfax...(chime).  This
continued until fifteen names were called. Again, dead silence hovered over
the room. The guy in the white gown began to sing a-capella, "Sometimes
people leave you, halfway through the wood. Do not let it grieve you; you
decide what's good. You are not alone. No one is alone..."

	Almost from the time it was first heard, Sondheim's song from "Into
the Woods" had been adopted by the gay community as its anthem.  The boy
came to the lines, 'Sometimes people leave you halfway through the
woods. Do not let it grieve you, no one leaves for good. You are not
alone... No one is alone.", the lights came on slowly, and the party was
over. Johnny was so choked up, he gasped.

	Everyone left the pub, arm in arm, pushing wheelchairs, or
assisting others with crutches or walkers Three of them who couldn't walk,
were carried in someone's arms.

	This moment...this tear-filled, real moment, was all it took for
Jeff and Johnny to know they were doing the right thing. Their doubts were
gone. Jeff would hold mass the next day and officially announce that he
would become their new rector. Johnny would be there to do anything and
everything he could to make their lives better. This is where the two of
them would be until they were led to a new destination.


<><><><><><><><><><>


(To be continued in "Briarwood--BOOK FIVE--"FATHER
JEFF"--Chapter-forty-five.)