Date: Thu, 8 Dec 2005 02:09:44 EST
From: RitchChristopher@cs.com
Subject: briarwood:father-jeff-47
All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or
are offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language,
please exit now.
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"BRIARWOOD"
Copyright Ritchris, 2005
aka "Whence Cometh My Help"
Copyright Ritchris, 2002
Revised Version
A dramatic saga
by
Ritch Christopher
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BOOK FIVE
"FATHER JEFF"
Chapter Forty-seven
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"I May Never Pass This Way Again
Never, ever, in my life have I seen so much love...
So many people sharing as I have witnessed today
And I just wanted you to know, by the Good Lord above,
I pray with all my heart it shall forever stay this way
All of you here in this place mean so very much to me
And, without asking, I am sure all of you feel the same
For nowhere else can anybody find such a lasting beauty
Outshining such things as money, power and fame
Nowhere else can we bring our pain, heartaches and bad dreams
And know we will not be laughed at or be told to get over it
Knowing that here we can find a refuge from life's bitter schemes
Knowing that each time we pass this way we feel better for it
No, I don't think that I will ever find the kind of love we share
Where the family always sticks together through thick or thin
Working out our problems lovingly, showing each other we care
Come hell or high water, staying brothers and sisters (just like kin)
I don't think that I will ever pass this way again without regret
That others out there cannot know what we have come to know
That no matter what happens, none of us shall ever, ever forget
That here we can hold on to each other while letting the pain go
In sharing our daily lives, our hearts, our souls, and our laughter
We build bonds that strengthen over time and through space
As an invisible chain of poetic hearts linked now and forever after
Survivors of war, rape, abuse, or just victims of this tragic human race
Yes, we will hold on to each other as our love continues to grow
Honoring those brave soldiers who gave their all and then some
Loving our heroes who made it back alive, letting them know
We will enlighten the world until our minds and hands go numb
We may not have a greater chance to teach our future generations
So, until the Lord of Lords comes back to win the war we could not win
Until He brings this unruly world to its knees in final reparations
We must continue the good fight, for we may never pass this way again!"
Copyright Nancy L. Meek
2001
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Johnny was surprised and excited when he saw what the residents had
built for him in the way of a new facility for Mackintosh. There were brand
new computers with scads of CD-ROMs and large indices containing every
imaginable phone number and links around the world. Johnny didn't question
how they had acquired the funding for the office equipment because Johnny
had more than a better idea where the money came from for God wasn't the
only one who worked mysteriously 'behind the scenes' as God had a
competitive benefactor who lived in Briarwood who just LOVED funding AIDS
organizations. Johnny knew that the technology, and his ability to access
much needed knowledge, was there to benefit all of them. It was almost as
advanced as the equipment he had had at the Cole Center which was a
definite clue who had supplied the money. The setup was similar to the one
Alex had in Los Angeles, so Alex felt at home immediately with all that he
saw.
Alex's L.A. center encompassed thousands of potential clients,
while Johnny's new facility would cater to somewhere around 3,500 local
residents. The smaller caseload meant that Johnny would be in closer
contact and on a more one-to-one interaction with the smaller population.
Thoughtfully, before Johnny left his duties at Cole Center, he
downloaded every link, every drug being prescribed, and every on-going
pharmaceutical experiments, enumerating both the successes as well as the
failures. He had CD-ROMs containing the newest research projects for HIV
and AIDS, along with the latest advancements in treatment and technology.
AIDS is a strange disease, unlike any other known to medical
science, since there is so many strains to diagnose, treat, and
combat. Thousands of cases had been reported to the CDC in which a guy or
gal had infected his only partner and the virus affected the partner in a
completely opposite way--so much so, that the donor's medication had
absolutely no effect on his partner..
One of the biggest myths concerning HIV patients, creates the
gravest danger. Quite often two guys, both HIV+, meet in a bar, trick, go
home and have sex, thinking that since they're both infected, no more
damage can be done to either of them, so why bother with condoms? This is a
HUGE and incorrect assumption. One participant's strain of the virus may be
more severe and varied than his partner's. Thus the end of an evening's
unprotected sex leaves the partner, not only affected by his own strain,
but also now having a newer and more deadly strain of the virus to cope
with, in addition to his own. Suddenly the two strains, when combined,
create, in effect, a totally new virus, one where neither participant's
medications have any remissive power whatsoever.
The average teen or young adult doesn't want to hear about such
things. They are too infatuated with their newly found
'partner-for-the-night', and it never occurs to them what could happen to
their own immune system. Another argument is the pros and cons of oral
sex...safe or unsafe? Science speculates that HIV is transmitted through
body fluids and the most concentrated forms are in blood and semen. Suppose
a guy, going on a date, spruces up at home...showering, donning deodorant,
brushing his teeth to remove all plaque and mouth odors. Accidentally, he
brushes too hard and irritates his gums, just enough to cause an invisible
cut just above his tooth line. Two hours and three drinks later, he's going
down on his 'partner for the night' that he met at a bar. This 'partner' is
HIV+, unbeknownst to either of them, and unable to control his urgent
desire for sex, excretes preseminal fluid or even ejaculates in the other
person's mouth. This fluid just happens to minutely enter a tiny cut on the
gum left by the rigid tooth-brushing. A few weeks later, it's a mystery to
the guy how he had acquired the HIV virus. He'd had no anal sex. He hadn't
taken intravenous drugs. He had been given no blood transfusions from a
dirty needle. All he had engaged in was a quick blowjob and EVERYONE does
that...girls and boys alike...and there are many reports touting that oral
sex is safe...EVERYONE knows or assumes that! So how in hell could he be
HIV+? It's a pity that the government or some agency can't do a few more
television promos about the dangers of EVERY KIND of unprotected sex. The
doctors and scientists at the Cole Institute would be the first people to
tell the public that there is no such thing as SAFE sex with an unknown
partner unless some kind of protection is used...anally OR orally.
Johnny had the latest statistics showing that most high school
females engage in oral sex more often than intercourse. Kids are
experimenting with oral sex beginning at the age of nine and ten years of
age, with the boys being able to climax as early as eleven or twelve. Would
there soon be an oncoming AIDS epidemic among grammar school age children?
Even the CDC won't rule out the possibility since oral sex has become
popular with fifth and sixth grade girls 'going down' on their fifth and
sixth grade boyfriends. Twenty years ago, teen boys didn't experiment with
ejaculatory masturbation until they were 14, 15, or 16. Johnny, Alex, and
Jeff all agreed that it should be mandatory for today's school kids to
watch the 'R' rated movie, "KIDS", a 1995 film by Larry Clark, depicting
high school sex where everyone in the school has sex in a chain-link
fashion, where one guy screws a girl, who in turn screws another boyfriend,
who screws another girl, who screws or performs fellatio on another
boy...and only one girl is infected at the beginning of the film. She
hasn't learned of her diagnosis yet and goes to a party and has sex with a
room full of kids throwing a sex party. By the end of the evening, everyone
has had some form of sex with everyone else, and now it's possible that the
whole room full of kids is now HIV+ and ignorant of their condition. They
can go to a different party the next weekend and meet new people. Within a
very few short weeks, the entire school population could be HIV carriers.
Ignorance or assuming 'it can't happen to me' are two of the main
reasons why AIDS is growing so rapidly. There are millions of kids, teens,
and adults going their merry way into the night and spreading the virus
faster than the CDC can track it. The prediction of 100,000,000 cases in
five years is not only possible but also probable. Parents should make a
point of buying the VHS or DVD of "KIDS" and watching it with their
children. Sure, there's a lot of rough language and nudity in the film, but
there's a message in it that apparently is not being taught anywhere else.
Even though Johnny had headed the Cole AIDS Crisis Center in
Briarwood and Alex, on the other coast in L.A., they had made it their duty
when they were handing out pamphlets from the AMA and the CDC concerning
the disease, to give each of their clients a copy of the movie, "KIDS". It
was presented in a language that the 'kids' could better understand.
As Johnny and Alex inspected the new premises, Johnny found a small
box about the size of a small carton of unrecorded CD's. It was marked,
"Top Secret. To be opened only by John Kane." Johnny wondered if this was
another gag gift left by Jay, the prankster.
Alex, too, saw the tiny box and told Johnny, "I'll leave while you
open it. Apparently, it's for your eyes only."
"No, stay!" Johnny exclaimed. "If this is some kind of practical
joke the brothers are playing on me for my first day of work, I want you to
be here in case it explodes or I get sprayed with bug juice or something."
At Johnny's request, Alex stayed to watch Johnny open the package,
but he kept three feet behind Johnny in case it contained a 'bang' or an
explosion of laughing gas or some other joke object.
Inside, Johnny found a stack of CD-ROMS, each of them labeled with
a number. Johnny picked up the first one and slid it into the nearest
computer.
"It's probably downloaded with the latest Colt or Higgins
models. Come here, and get a better look!" he said to Alex.
The computers weren't equipped with DSL or cable, so it took a few
minutes before the first screen appeared with the title, "The Red Ribbon
Roster" and "ENTER". Johnny hurried to click to the next page where there
appeared a list of names and links beside each one of them. Johnny
highlighted the first one, "Alan Aaron" and up popped Alan's complete
medical history; when he had first been diagnosed; his doctors; his
medications; his treatments; and the latest progress and prognosis. Also,
there was as much family history included as possible. Aaron's parents,
schooling, employment, and the names of the last person or persons whom
Alan had dated or been in close contact with.
These were secret files containing classified medical information
of every living resident in Mackintosh. Toward the bottom of the box were
discs containing the histories of those who had died. To have this
information was highly illegal and broke all rules of
confidentiality. There was a note attached to the inside of the top of the
box. It said, "Johnny, don't worry about having these files. Every resident
in Mackintosh came in privately and gave all their bios and information
freely while being discrete. They thought it would help you in your work,
getting to know who they are and everything you might need to help them."
It was signed, "Good Luck! Larry".
"My God, Alex! Do you believe this?"
"Not if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes."
"This saves me days, weeks, even months of work, getting to know
who's who and what's what." Johnny said.
"I guess they trust you." Alex replied, "Or either that's their way
of showing you that they'll accept help if you offer it to them."
"My records at Cole don't even come close to the thoroughness on
these discs!"
"Mine don't either."
"Jesus Christ!" Johnny exclaimed. "Maybe I was MEANT to come here
with Jeff."
"It would appear so." Alex agreed.
Johnny scrolled further down Alan's page and the information became
even more astonishing. There was a box for Alan to write his personal
comments. The message was written in first person, as if he were talking
face to face with Johnny, revealing details of his former sex life and his
relationship with his parents, siblings, and friends. He gave an account of
most of his sex partners and the moment (and the person) when he believed
he had gotten the disease. There were many small details that Alan had
probably never revealed to anyone, not even his doctor.
"It looks like you're going to start work sooner than you'd
anticipated, Johnny!"
"Alex, I just can't get over this," Johnny said, going to the next
name. "They're all here...all thirty-five-hundred of them. They came in and
typed out their thoughts and secrets to me. My God, it must've taken days."
"It's very important to them that you know all about them. They've
learned to live in a world where life is short and you have to do something
today in case there's no tomorrow for them."
"I can't wait to tell Jeff about this."
"You two still share everything together, don't you?" Alex said,
almost envious of the two of them.
"Sharing is a pseudonym for love, Alex." Johnny said, looking
straight at his brother-in-law. "It's only when you stop sharing, that's
when your relationship begins to stray. I know lots of times gay guys, even
straight guys, who go home from work and want to talk about what happened
to them at work during the day. And maybe their mates want to talk about
the busy day he or she has had, cleaning house, cooking, tending to the
kids or pets. And maybe there are times when neither of them wants to hear
about the other's day and they either close their ears to their mates or
walk away. They don't seem to care enough to hear what's important to the
one that they love most. That's only the first indication of NOT sharing,
which leads to NOT caring, and after a while, they start avoiding each
other at the dinner table and later in the bedroom. The secret to a lasting
relationship is wrapped in a big word called, 'listening'.. That's all a
psychiatrist or psychologist does. He never offers advice, if he's good in
his profession. He sits and listens to his patient talk and sometimes he
steers the direction of his patient's monologue until the patient comes to
his own conclusion of what his problem is...and how he must solve
it. Listening is sharing and sharing is loving. I don't mean the
psychiatrist loves his patient, but at the end of the therapy sessions, the
patient understands himself better, and the person at home who wouldn't
listen to him."
"God," Alex replied, "I wish I had recorded your last speech and
played it back for Ted to hear."
"You two are having a rough time, aren't you?"
"No, not really..." Alex said, but quickly added, "Yeah, I guess we
are."
"Do you still love each other?"
"I guess...at least, I love him anyway."
"But you doubt if Ted loves you?"
"Johnny, when Ted comes home after one of his trips, we laugh, cut
up, wine, dine, and make love like two rabbits. But the day after he leaves
to cover his next story, I'm left alone. I sometime feel that when he walks
out the door, he's walking out of my life, and I become afraid he won't
come back this time."
"Have you ever told Jeff about this?"
"Yeah, Jeff knows...and so does Roger."
"And what did both of them tell you."
"Johnny, you told me about 'sharing'. Jeff and Roger said the most
important thing in a relationship is 'trusting'.
"Don't you trust each other?"
"I don't know. I've never given Ted a reason NOT to trust me. But
with him being gone most of the time, I'm not sure if I trust him."
"You know what you ought to do?"
"What?"
"You should tell Ted about the things you're thinking. Tell him
about your doubts, but do it in front of Jeff, Roger, or Father Cliff. Open
up and give him a chance to verbalize his feelings too. Get to know one
another again in the presence of a mediator. Outside of Father Cliff and
Roger, there's no better people in the world to help the two of you than
your own brother. What he knows, he learned from Father Cliff, and there's
no better teacher in the world, except for Roger. Father Cliff gives
wonderful philosophical advice while Roger, even though he's a former
priest, gives common sense worldly advice."
"I know you're right, Johnny. I need to have a long talk with Ted,
but it never seems the right time. I'm always so glad to see him when he
comes home. I know his time with me will be short until he departs on his
next assignment. I hesitate bringing up serious matters that will put a
damper on the time we have together before he leaves."
"Alex, when the matter is as serious as you're letting on, you've
got to make the time, or else some day there won't be any time left to
discuss what you should...matters that could destroy yours and Ted's
relationship."
"I didn't even leave him a note or a message on his machine,
telling him I was coming to Mackintosh to see Jeff. That was probably a
huge mistake. But since I didn't expect him home until the latter part of
next week, I thought he'd never know the difference if I was at home or
three thousand miles away from California."
"When was the last time he called you?"
"Five or six nights ago. I don't remember"
"That's not good."
"You're telling me? How well I know!"
"Alex, don't you think it would be fantastic if you and Ted could
come here and stay with Jeff and me for a week or two?...Hell, make it a
month or two! We're family! We all love one another!"
"I wish Ted felt the same way as you, Johnny. I'd be lying if I
didn't tell you how envious I am of you and my brother. Jeff was so wild
growing up. He was a regular 'throw-a-pie-in-your-face-for-a-laugh'
monster! It never stopped my loving him, though. That was just Jeff, being
Jeff. I never thought he would settle down and find someone as wonderful as
you. When he met Father Cliff and later, Roger, his demeanor changed
completely."
"Oh, Jeff hasn't changed that much." Johnny laughed. "I still dodge
when he takes a banana cream pie from the refrigerator!"
"You mean he still throws them?"
"Yes, and he also taught me the real meaning of 'tossed' salad."
"At least you have fun together. That's what's important! God! How
I would like to believe Ted loved me enough to throw a banana cream pie at
me!"
"Yeah, it's fun until you've dressed in your best suit and get
ready to go out to dinner or a concert and he decides to turn the lawn
sprinklers on while you're going out to start the car! If you wanna call
that fun, go ahead!"
The two of them shared a warm laugh.
"That's the old Jeff." Alex said. "God, if I ever turned the
sprinklers on Ted when he went out the door, that would be grounds for
divorce of maybe murder!"
"Speaking of divorce...did you and Ted ever have a commitment
ceremony?"
"No, but I always wanted one. But I was always afraid that Ted
would think of it as being 'too gay'. In his world of sports, he plays it
completely straight. Whenever we meet one of his co-workers or some athlete
that he's interviewed, he introduces me as his roommate...his STRAIGHT
roommate. He doesn't say 'straight', but he knows that I should never let
on that there's nothing more between us. I sat at a restaurant with him and
some of his sports buddies and Ted has lied telling about two whores we
brought home and fucked together!"
"Goddamn, Alex! That's not only mean, it's cruel and unthoughtful!
This is the twenty-first century. Hasn't Ted looked at the calendar
recently? Times have changed. Mores are different now! Gays are no longer
discriminated against... even sports journalists like Ted."
"Tell him that."
"I'd love to...if I could meet with him long enough to set him
straight. Sorry, I didn't mean that...long enough to set him 'gay'!"
Alex laughed. "No wonder my brother fell in love with you. I
would've too, if I had met you first."
"You're not 'hitting' on me, are you Alex?"
"You wouldn't recognize it if I were."
They laughed again.
"Don't you know that if anything were to transpire between you and
me, well, that'd kinda be like incest?" Johnny kidded.
"It wouldn't be the first time I was guilty of that crime." Alex
jokingly retorted.
"Yeah, I know," Johnny, replied. "Jeff told me about all the things
you two used to do in his bedroom. What did he call it, 'menstruation'...?"
"Jesus! You have me at a disadvantage. Jeff's told you everything
about him and me, and I don't know a thing about you and him."
"And you're not gonna know either!"
"Don't tell me that Jeff has learned to keep secrets instead of
blurting the first thing that comes into his mind."
"That all changed, I guess, when he took his final priest
vows. He's kept every secret that every guy in Briarwood has told him in
the confessional and he never divulged the tiniest bit to me. Sometimes
when one of my clients at the Center needed help or had even become
suicidal, it would take me hours to get the client to tell me the cause of
his pain. A day or two later I would mention the episode to Jeff and he
would smile. He knew all along what the client was keeping from me and I
guess if the client had killed himself, Jeff still wouldn't have helped me
solve the client's dilemma. I used to tell Jeff that his middle name was
'confidentiality'."
"That little dickens!"
"Yeah, Father 'Dickens' to me!" Johnny noticed the new clock on his
desk. "Hey, it's almost time for lunch. Why don't we stop what we're doing
and go home and see what 'The Naked Chef' has prepared for lunch? We can
come back here later and organize more of this shit."
"Sounds like a winner!" Alex said.
Just as they started to leave, Alex grabbed Johnny and hugged him
long and hard. "Thanks, Johnny. I'm so grateful having you for a brother."
"Just remember, I'm always here for you, just the same as Jeff is."
They broke their embrace and went out the door to head for the
'gingerbread' house.
Jeff became tired of unpacking cartons and refilling them when he
couldn't find a place to put the items he had retrieved. He stopped around
11:00 AM to have lunch ready when Johnny and Alex returned from the center.
He was a man of his word and vowed not to give the slightest hint
to his brother about the surprise guest for this evening. Jeff had ridden
in the back seat of Ted's car many times when Alex and Ted had brought him
along on their 'dates'. He knew how fast Ted drove, so he expected Ted to
arrive around 6:00PM from New York.
Jeff planned to have the guest room all spruced up for Alex and
Ted's reconciliation. He had already placed a new box of condoms in the
drawer of the bedside table, hoping that the latex would be put to good
use. In the first years that Jeff and Johnny lived together, they used no
less than three condoms apiece, nightly. Five years later the two of them
had reduced the number to a total of three per night...one each for them to
perform oral sex and the remaining one to be used by the one who had the
most energy left to be the top for the night.
Jeff turned on the Food Channel and watched Martha Stewart make
some kind of tuna surprise dish. Martha had made it look quick and easy, so
that's what Jeff decided to prepare for lunch. He could never understand
why Martha and every single cook on the food network chose to use thyme in
every dish... even omelets. Both, he and Johnny hated the taste and smell
of thyme. No one in his right mind should ever put such a putrid spice in a
meal. To Jeff, thyme had the same aroma as an open jar of Vick's
Salve. Yuck! Vick's and tuna, mixed together? NO WAY! Jeff knew that both
his lover and brother loved peanut butter, so why not substitute a dollop
of Jif for the dash of Martha's Vick's flavoring? It made sense to him.
So, he used a large can of white tuna, a heaping spoonful of Jif
peanut butter, a glob of mayonnaise. a huge tablespoon of pickle relish, a
dash each of Tobasco and Worcestershire sauce, a splash of clam juice, and
a squirt of French's mustard for good measure. He stirred the concoction
like one of the witches in "Macbeth" over her cauldron, and scooped a
humongous portion on three plates covered with lettuce leaves. Next he
placed the plates in the refrigerator to chill them while the flavors
gelled together. Since he was serving fish, he decided on a nice white
wine. He drank red wine daily at communion, so a Chardonnay would be a
pleasant treat for him. Jeff looked at his masterpieces on the shelf in the
refrigerator and thought that they needed a ripe olive on the top of each
one for a garnish. Now, they looked lovely...worthy of old Martha, herself!
Pleased with his luncheon entree, he set the table with cloth
napkins, brightly colored china cups and saucers, crystal goblets for the
wine, and he took the time to polish the gold-plated dinnerware. Jeff went
out to the backyard to pick a bouquet of roses and daisies. The table
looked picture perfect! This was the first time Jeff had ever fixed a meal
for his brother and he wanted everything to be just right!
Johnny and Alex arrived shortly after 12:30 PM. Jeff met them at
the door, kissing each of them as they entered the Dutch door. Alex went to
the guest bathroom while Johnny went to his and Jeff's to wash their hands
before lunch. The two of them returned to the dining room almost at the
same time. Jeff stood by his table setting to see the look on their
faces. Johnny and Alex were both impressed with Jeff's display of playing
the role of housewife.
"This is beautiful, babe!" Johnny said, going to Jeff and kissing
his cheek.
"You did ALL this?" Alex asked in amazement.
"Well, don't both of you look so fucking surprised! I can do a lot
of things you don't know about."
"I thought I knew about all your talents," Johnny said.
"Me too," Alex echoed.
"That'll be enough from both of you! I might start revealing a few
things that I know, that you might not want me to say in front of the other
of you."
"Kiss and tell!" Alex said, "That's the way he was when we were
growing up."
"Alex, I never told a soul that I kissed you." Jeff retorted.
"You just did, 'Father'!" Alex quickly added. "You just told your
husband!"
"I guess I'd better even things up, Alex," Johnny said. "Come here
a sec."
Alex walked slowly toward Johnny, who quickly grabbed Alex's cheeks
with his hands a planted a kiss on Alex's lips. Alex was so surprised, he
didn't know whether to pull back or stand there and be embarrassed.
"There!" Johnny exclaimed when he released Johnny's face. "Now
everyone here has kissed everybody and your threatening little remark
backfired on you, my boy."
Jeff knew when he been "had". He laughed and walked over to his
brother and lover and placed an arm around each of their necks, kissing one
and then the other.
"I love you two so very, very much." Jeff said earnestly.
"We love you too, bro." Alex replied.
"And I can't live without you," was Johnny's remark to Jeff.
"God, I'm so happy to have the three of us together." Jeff said,
just above a whisper.
"I wish that 'Te'..." Alex started, but couldn't finish his
sentence.
"We do too, Alex." Johnny interjected and pulled their huddle
closer together. "We wish Ted were here too, to be a part of this. Don't
worry Alex, things have a way of working themselves out."
Jeff felt a stir inside him. "If only Alex knew that Ted would be
here in less than five hours," he thought to himself.
"We're all just one big family, Alex." Johnny continued, "and one
day Ted will know the feeling that we're sharing right now."
"I hope you're right, Johnny. I really hope you're right!" Alex
said, quietly.
"OK," Jeff said, trying to get off the subject of Ted, "Let's eat!"
"My Lord, Johnny," Alex said, recovering from his hidden remorse,
"Don't tell me that she cooks too."
"After a fashion," Johnny replied.
"No wonder you made an honest woman out of her when you married
her."
"Just you wait, 'enry 'iggins!! Just you wait," Jeff sang in his
worst Cockney imitation.
Jeff and Johnny sat at the table while Jeff went into the kitchen
to place his prized meal on a serving cart that he proceeded to roll into
the dining room.
"It looks wonderful, sweetheart," Johnny said, eyeing the decorated
food.
"Yummy!" Alex added as Jeff placed a plate before each of them.
"You gonna say 'grace', babe?" Johnny asked Jeff.
"No, I want Alex to. In all the years we lived at home together, I
never once heard him say 'grace', and now that he has a priest for a
brother, it's about time that a little religion spring forth from my older
sibling."
Alex was embarrassed now, for sure. It was true. Never in his life
had he offered thanks for a meal and now Jeff had put him on the spot.
"You DO pray, don't you, bro?"
"Well, sure. I guess. I mean...well bow your heads!" Alex
stammered.
Jeff and Johnny waited patiently for Alex to get the courage to
find the proper words for a blessing. The wait was interminable as Jeff
and Johnny sat silently in perpetual anticipation.
"Almighty God," Alex began, clearing his throat. "or rather, Dear
God, I want to thank you for this food, prepared so elegantly by my little
brother. I want to thank You too, for giving me Jeff for my brother, and
for giving him Johnny, whom I've come to love as a brother." Alex stopped,
not knowing whether to say, "Amen" and finish or continue since he had
gained the bravery to pray out loud for the first time in his
life. "I...uh, want you to bless the two of them...and I want to ask that
you watch over Ted, wherever he might be. Keep him safe and if you see
fit...well, please let everything work out all right between the two of
us. Amen!"
Jeff and Johnny finished Alex's prayer by signing the cross and
saying in unison, "In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy
Spirit!" Alex had opened his eyes and decided to mirror their action, only
being a novice at this ritual; he signed himself backward as the Greek
Orthodox did.
There was another moment of silence while the three of them sat
there looking at each other and smiled.
"That was beautiful, bro," Jeff offered.
"I'm uh...I'm afraid I'm a bit awkward when it comes to praying."
"You'll get used to it," Johnny added. "Now let's eat."
The three of them picked up their forks and plunged them into the
ball of tuna. It only took two chews only for each of them to savor the
mysterious flavors that had been assembled. None of them could say a word
about the horror that had placed in their mouths. Johnny and Alex couldn't
decide whether to swallow nicely or spit it out and make a mad dash to the
phone to call poison control.
The tuna surprise was so horrendous; Jeff was the first to discover
what a purulent conglomeration he had mixed together. The taste and smell
together would've rivaled the potion that turned Jekyll into Hyde. Yul
Brynner could have grown a full head of hair by rubbing it on his bald
dome. Jeff was the first one to gag. He was too embarrassed to look at his
lover and brother. "What a fucking piece of shit!", he thought. "I'll never
trust Martha Stewart again as long as I live," he said to himself. "Fucking
cunt!".
Johnny and Alex noticed that their chef was about to throw up, just
as they were. The two of them politely wiped their mouths with the cloth
napkins, trying to hide their action as they slowly spit out their first
and only bite of this "god awful" mess. Jeff was no dummy for he saw what
they were doing. He thought it best if he were the first one to comment
"Jesus Christ! Don't even try to swallow this shit...either of
you!" Jeff screamed, as he spit his mouthful back on his plate. "I'm sorry,
guys, but I watched Martha Stewart on the Food Channel and followed her
explicit directions."
"Jeff, was this yours or Martha's idea to mix peanut butter with
tuna?" Johnny managed to say, downing a large glass of water.
"Hers! I did everything just the way I saw her do it.." Jeff said,
trying to cover his embarrassment.
"Martha MIXED all these things together for human consumption?"
Johnny asked, sputtering water.
"Well, I DID leave out the thyme."
"Thank God for small favors." Johnny said, still trying to compose
himself. "And she used the rest of the ingredients?"
"Well, no," Jeff replied, quietly. "The peanut butter was really my
own idea."
"Instead of white wine, maybe you should've served it with stomach
pumps!" Johnny said, holding back a heave.
The mention of stomach pumps caused all three of them to explode
their suppressed laughter.
"I'm sorry, guys." Jeff said, while laughing through his
embarrassment.
"Sorry?" Johnny joked. "I wish you'd never told me about the money
Roger gave you because now that you know that I know, I'll fear for my life
every time you choose to cook a meal."
Alex was listening but not talking, as he covered his hilarity
behind with his napkin.
"You know, Jeff, if I survive this, I may just divorce you. There's
not a jury between here and Briarwood that wouldn't find you guilty of
attempted uxoricide and fratricide."
Jeff was too tickled to cry, He stuck his fork back into the tuna
substance, gathered another big biteful, placed it in his mouth and with a
great deal of fortitude, he managed to swallow it, It must have stuck
halfway down his throat because his eyes filled with water. He was
determined not to let his lover and brother get the best of him. He licked
his lips and smacked them loudly. "Now isn't this delicious?"
"It looked like you had just finished performing cunnilingus on
Martha Stewart," Johnny joked. "No wonder you like men."
The three of them broke up in hysterical laughter.
Alex finally decided to add a comment, "Bro, will you promise we
one thing?"
"What?"
"As long as I stay here, will you NOT cook anymore meals for me? I
think I noticed a nice soybean burger joint downtown."
"Just for that, you two can stay home this afternoon and fix
dinner! We're having a guest!"
"God, I hope he brings a bottle of Ipecac with him and an I.D. with
the name of his next of kin." Johnny said as they convulsed again. "Who's
coming, babe? Who's the guest?"
"I don't know. somebody or other that Larry wants us to be nice
to." Jeff said, lying about Ted's expected arrival.
"In that case, let ME do the cooking. I'd hate for us to be run out
of town before we even get unpacked!" Johnny added. "You can help if you
want, Alex, or if you prefer, you might want to go for a walk around the
town. ALSO, you might want to stop somewhere for lunch!"
"I think the walk would do me good." Alex replied. "I WOULD like to
take a tour and gather my thoughts. I have a lot to think about."
"Go on, and if you get lost, call us or stop anyone you see and
tell them that you're Jeff's brother. They might try to accost you, but
they'll help just the same."
Alex gave each of them a hug before he left to discover the shops
of Mackintosh.
"OK, now, spill it!" Johnny quickly said now that Alex was
gone. "Who's the guest? I know damned well that Larry isn't sending some
stranger over for dinner."
"Well, if you must know...it's Ted."
"My God! You're kidding? How? When?"
"He called me this morning from New York and told me he was driving
here to see Alex."
"Honey, that's wonderful news! How did he sound?"
"Pretty encouraging, Johnny. He asked if I had ever performed a
commitment ceremony, so I think he's decided to make a few changes for the
better in his and Alex's lives."
"And that's why you didn't tell Alex?"
"Yep! I didn't want to ruin the surprise. I wanted to see the looks
on their faces when they met face to face."
"What time is he due?"
"I figured around six o'clock, knowing the way he drives."
"Alex will be thrilled, or at least I hope he will be."
"Me too, Johnny. I love my brother so much and it pains me when I
see him upset as he is. They've been together so long, it's hard to think
of them not making amends and working things out."
"You never cease to amaze me! Every day I find something new to
love you for. It's just the way you care about people. I see it by the way
you look at Alex and any of the guys from Briarwood. It's then that I stop
and thank God that you're mine." Johnny went to Jeff and kissed him
passionately. "I love everything about you, little guy."
"Then why do you raise such a ruckus whenever I try to cook a
meal?"
"I seem to recall that your Jesus pitched a fit and threw out all
the tax-collectors from the temple."
"So?"
"I'm throwing away all your cookbooks and locking the parental chip
on the Food Channel. I'll do all the cooking from now on unless you can
make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches from memory. That would really be
hard to fuck up!"
"I remember how to open cans and heat soup! I'm not a total loss in
the cooking department. Now why don't you go to the store and buy whatever
we need for a nice dinner. I'm going to decorate the guestroom for Alex and
Ted. I think I'll place a bouquet of roses in every nook and cranny in the
room."
"Don't overdo it. Alex might become suspicious before Ted gets
here."
"You do the cookin', doll, and I'll do the decoratin'!" Jeff said,
emulating Humphrey Bogart.
"Done deal! Now kiss me before I go, that is, unless you want to
take time out for a quickie before I leave!"
"Sorry, no nookie for cookie. I have to clean up the mess I made in
he kitchen! The tuna surprise may scare the hell out of the garbage
disposal!"
Well don't try to force it down the poor thing. Feed it a spoonful
at a time and give it time to digest. You might just clog up the entire
Mackintosh sewer system!" Johnny shouted.
"Fuck you!"
"Huh uhn! Remember no nookie for cookie by the rookie!"
They were still delirious as Johnny left to go shop.
<><><><><><><><>
Andy had followed Chris from Starbuck's to Cole Institute where
Chris took him immediately to the admission office to be processed as a
patient. Chris introduced Andy to Troy who told Chris to go see Ed while he
(Troy) took a case history on Andy and would have him seen by the admitting
doctors in the clinic. Ed was surprised seeing Chris at the Institute so
early in the day until Chris explained the phone call and meeting with Andy
to Ed. Ed knew all about Andy and his and Chris' dilemma in Atlanta and
promised Chris that he would oversee Andy's physical examination and tests
to determine his exact diagnosis and make preparation for a treatment plan.
Ed was not at all jealous because whatever had transpired between
Chris and Andy was over eight years ago and any involvement between the two
had ended back then. Ed was glad that Chris had persuaded Andy to come to
Cole for treatment. Ed only hoped Andy hadn't waited too long and Andy was
one of those whom the new medications and procedures might not work their
miracles. Ed gave Andy's case top priority for Andy AND Chris' sake by
admitting Andy to a private room with intensive care which was usually
given to patients with end stage diseases.
Once Andy had settled into his room, nurses and technicians began
drawing blood and taking samples of skin, saliva, urine, feces, and
anything else which might assist in a quicker diagnosis. In spite of being
stuck and probed in nearly every part of his body, Andy was enjoying his
first-class attention, something he'd never really known or experienced
before. After the fluids had been extracted from him, Andy received a
delicious meal and propped himself up in bed to surf all the premium
channels on cable TV. He was actually glad he had let Chris talk him into
coming to the Institute.
On his nightly visiting rounds at the Institute, Chris stopped by
to see how Andy was doing and also, Chris brought Ed with him to meet Andy
personally. Chris had been twenty-eight years old when he and Andy had
their brief affair. Chris was now thirty-six and Ed was at least over
forty, according to the way Andy eyed Ed.
Andy thought, 'Why would Chris have chosen an old man over me?
Granted, Ed was nice looking for a man of his age, but Ed must be very dull
as a sex partner. After all, men his age often lose their sex drives!' When
Andy and Chris had gone to bed to have sex that 'one' night, Andy was a
virgin, but now with many, many men and sexual experiences he had
encountered across the country, no one could please Chris more now than
he...if only he hadn't told Chris about his having AIDS, it might be easy
to seduce Chris and allure him away from the 'middle-aged' doctor.
Ed was very nice and cordial to Andy and told him that he should
have the first test results back in the morning and then the treatment team
could plan his road to recovery. Andy was disappointed when Chris told him
that he would be busy with his church duties all the next day, but would be
by to see him on his evening hospital visitation tomorrow,
Ed asked Andy if he would like to have a sitter spend that evening
with him in case he was scared about being in a strange hospital in a
strange city? Both Ed and Chris were a bit 'taken back' by Andy's
response..."I wouldn't mind if the sitter was a young male...preferably
gay."
Ed replied nicely that he didn't know the sexual orientation of his
staff, but he would try to assign a male sitter approximately the same age
as Andy. In Chris mind he wondered, 'Is this a ploy of Andy's to make me
jealous?' But Chris kept that thought to himself.
Chris and Ed went home shortly after, Rick, a male orderly came in
to 'sit' with Andy for the rest of the evening. Rick was a nice looking
young man, about twenty-one years old and left no doubt in anyone's mind
that he was definitely gay.
During dinner at the manse, Chris and Ed tried to keep Andy from
being a topic of conversation. After dinner, the two settled down on the
couch in the den for brandy and a DVD movie. Then, they went to bed and had
a wonderful time making love. They had been together over seven years and
had found a way to make every night in bed together new and exciting...as
Ed was a late bloomer in gay sex and Chris had denied himself sex while he
was a Roman Catholic priest. So, their love life was good.
The following day around lunchtime, Chris gave Ed a call at his the
Institute to learn the pre-diagnosis findings from Andy's tests.
"Hi, sweetheart!" Chris said when Ed answered the phone.
"Hi. my love!" Ed replied. "I was hoping you'll call or otherwise I
was going to call you."
"Any word yet about Andy?"
"Yes, several tests are back."
"AND...?"
"Chris, you've been coming around Cole for nearly seven years and
you've seen just about as many patients as I..."
"So...?"
"So I think I'll let you be Andy's doctor for a few minutes and
I'll be his priest..."
"What do you mean?"
"You said you haven't seen Andy in eight years."
"That's right, I haven't."
"When you first saw him at Starbuck's yesterday, how did he look to
you compared to the way you remember him? I realize he's matured from an
adolescent into a young adult, but how did he look to you?"
"I,,,I thought he looked wonderful."
"Describe what you saw...his skin, his weight, his coloring, his
eyes..."
"For an average twenty-four year old male, he looked sensational."
"You used to go on your meal buggy runs, taking dinners to AIDS
patients. How did they look compared to the way Andy looked to you
yesterday?"
"Actually, Ed, there's no comparison. My AIDS patients in Atlanta,
just like the ones at Cole, mostly are frail, pale-looking with sunken
eyes, and practically no energy at all."
"So, if that's the way an end stage AIDS patient looks, then Doctor
Curtis, what would you say about Andy's condition?"
"He doesn't look sick at all, Ed."
"You're a pretty good diagnostician because that's what the early
results of Andy's tests show."
"You're kidding..."
"No, and I'm pleased I'm not. Chris, everything about Andy is
normal. Unless some of the impending tests show something different, Andy
lied to you. He doesn't have AIDS OR HIV. I can't find a damned thing wrong
with him. You saw yourself...he's strong, muscular, good color to his skin,
bright-eyed and energetic...."
"Why would he lie, Ed?"
"Maybe to attract someone's attention..."
"Oh my God! Surely he didn't come all this way just to think
that..."
"It appears that might be the case. Either he's still in love with
you or he's playing a joke on you...or, well, I'd rather not say what else
I'm thinking."
"You mean he wants to get even with me some way for leaving him and
deserting him."
"That was my third choice."
"Jesus Christ, Ed! I'm no longer in the Roman Catholic
clergy. Surely to goodness his motivation isn't blackmail! After all, over
half the congregation at St. Genesius knows I'm gay as they do about Cliff
and Roger. There's no reason to blackmail you. Your position as
administrator is secure for the rest of your life by Roger's decree. What
in God's name could Andy want?"
"If I only had one guess, I'd say what he wants is 'you'."
"But that's impossible and you know it as well as I, Ed."
"I know, but if the rest of his tests return negative from all
diseases and ailments, I wonder what he'll do when he's discharged from
Cole?"
"Only time will tell, Ed, but I fear the worst..."
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
A light mist of rain peppered Alex's face before he reached Main
Street. The slight drizzle was refreshing to him, as it seemed to relax him
as he walked on the cobblestone road. He had an uneasy feeling about not
leaving a note or a message for Ted. A tinge of guilt accompanied his
feeling. He tried to reason with himself that he was on family business,
meeting his father and step-father and visiting his brother whom he hadn't
seen in a couple of years, but on the other hand, Ted was his family,
too. Just a, "Hi Ted, I'm going to see Jeff for a few days. I'll be back by
the weekend so don't worry. I love you." would have been enough to ease his
remorse.
God, the town of Mackintosh was peaceful. The air was so fresh and
clear. No wonder the residents afflicted with the virus had chosen this
place to spend their final days. The streets were calm, not like the busy
L.A. freeways or the buzz of the 'wannabe discovered' guys that occupied
every available position in every restaurant, department store, office, and
other places that offered short-term jobs. There was no smog...yes,
definitely no smog. Alex wondered if he could be happy living in a pastoral
setting or would the complacency of this haven soon become boring to
him. Mackintosh was certainly not an ideal locale for Ted. Ted would be
ready to leave within twenty-four hours, if he managed to stay that long.
The closer Alex got to the township; he realized how much he envied
his brother and his brother's lover. They seemed to have it all. The two of
them had been together over five years and both of them acted like school
kids. They had managed to find fun in their relationship. Even those things
that had become routine were still new to them in their daily lives. Was
that the "sharing" that Johnny had talked about?
Alex had often pondered what life would be like if he and Ted were
to split up. Sure, life would go on, but it would be different. A part of
him would be missing. A part he had had practically all his life. He and
Ted had been friends from the time they were just toddlers, and lovers
since the age of fifteen, and a gay couple for the past five years. He
wondered how Ted's life would be without him. Did he matter to Ted anymore,
or did Ted take him for granted...like coming home to his automobile. or to
his desk with the computer containing all the sports bios and documents he
had written?
Alex knew it was time to sit down with Ted and discuss all these
thoughts that constantly crowded his mind. Did Ted know that he really
loved him? Did Ted really love him too? Were they going to spend the rest
of their lives in L.A., filled with quick memories between their "hello's"
and "goodbye's". every time Ted had to leave town to cover a new story or
event? Then Alex's focus shifted to Jeff and Johnny. Did the two of them
ever have doubts about their love for one another? No, definitely not!
Anyone could tell just by the way they looked at each other.
The first shop that Alex stopped in was a clothing store which
handled faux designer brand names. so that the residents on fixed incomes,
could feel like they were wearing the latest Calvin Klein, Giorgio Armani
or Tommy Hilfiger fashions. Everything that he saw to buy, was something he
wanted Ted to have. Ted was in every thought. He took out his American
Express card from his wallet and bought three shirts and two sweaters that
would look perfect on his lover. but bought nothing for himself. As the
young salesman was about to ring up the purchase, Alex quickly added a
bottle of Calvin Klein's "Eternity", the cologne that both of them
wore. The scent always reminded them of one another. They choose to wear
the same brand so that the aromatic fragrance didn't compete with the
other's when they were dining out or going to a party, etc.
Having had no lunch, so to speak, Alex went into a quaint little
restaurant, which, to Alex's amusement, DID have a wide variety of soybean
burgers. He ordered the Camino Real burger which reminded him of
California. He was amazed at the flavor of ground soybeans. It actually
tasted like beef. He also treated himself to a side order of Francais
Frisent, which was a combination of shoestring potatoes, zucchini, and tart
apples, coated in a batter and crisply fried in hot oil. It was strange
mixture of flavors, but it was good. For dessert he had peach ice cream
made from soy milk. He thought for a second he could easily become a health
food nut if everything else lived up to this sampling.
These residents were supposed to be terminal AIDS cases by their
own choice, but all of them looked so goddamned healthy. Was it because of
the environment, the fresh air, or the food? Perhaps it was a combination
of all three, but then again, maybe it was the idea of "getting away" from
the world's pressure of having to constantly put on a facade to hide, what
they had been made to believe, their disgraceful disease?
Alex wandered up and down both sides of Main Street. Although he
was not a drinker, he wanted to visit the Powder Puff Pub after all he had
heard about it. It was nearing 3:00 PM and he didn't think the bar would be
crowded this time of day. His assumption was correct; the only person in
the gay club was Scott, the bartender, who immediately reminded Alex of
Nicky Katt on "Boston Public"...handsome without being pretty and manly
without looking like a hunk. Scott's hair was raven black. He had piercing
blue eyes that made Alex think for a moment that disguised X-ray
vision. Scott could probably see you naked through your clothes or count
the number of your ribs if he chose to use his powers.
"May I help you?" Scott asked in smooth mellow voice.
"Yes, please, can I order a Coke?"
"Sure! One Coke coming up!"
Scott reached in the cooler and got a bottled drink, opened it,
poured it over crushed ice, and set it before Alex.
"Thanks," Alex said, dropping his eyes. He didn't want to stare too
long into Scott's baby blues for fear of being hypnotized.
"You...uh...visiting someone...or maybe thinking about moving
here?" Scott asked, knowing that Alex's answer would tell a whole story. If
he was moving to Mackintosh, that could mean only one thing.
"I'm...uh...visiting my brother here?"
"Oh?"
"Yes, his name is Jeff Clayton, or rather I should say, 'FATHER
Jeff Clayton."
"You're the priest's brother?"
"Yes, I'm Alex...Alex Clayton."
"Nice to meet you Alex, I'm Scott Valenza," Scott said, offering
his hand to Alex.
"Hi, Scott," Alex replied, taking Scott's hand, which instantly
created a slight tingle in his spine and psyche.
"Your brother's quite the talk of the village."
"Were you at mass yesterday?"
"No. I wanted to come, but it takes a long time to clean up this
place after the Saturday night crowd whoops it up here. I did meet him and
his friend Johnny. They seem like a nice couple."
"Yes, they're both excited being here. They have great plans for
the residents."
"May I ask where you're from?"
"I live in Los Angeles, but Jeff and I grew up in Briarwood."
"I guess this town seems pretty dull to you, coming from the bright
lights of L.A."
"From what little I've seen of it, I like Mackintosh. It's so
peaceful and serene, I find myself enjoying it."
"It takes a special kind of person to get used to a place like
this...and, as you probably know, all of us here in Mackintosh are special
people who moved here because of a special reason."
"You mean the sickness?"
"Yes, the sickness...and the dying."
"I'm sorry, Scott, I shouldn't have..."
"No, it's all right. It was I who brought the subject up. You know,
when I was just a kid, I used to tell my friends that I was going to grow
up, become a millionaire, and retire in 'Happy Valley', somewhere."
Alex didn't reply because he wanted Scott to keep talking.
"Well, I didn't make my million, but I guess I wound up in 'Happy
Valley'!"
"Mackintosh IS beautiful," Alex said.
"It's a lot better coming here to die than going to some fucking
charity ward of some fucking hospital were no one gives a fuck about you."
Alex knew all too well about the horrible places that some states
housed their AIDS patients in. Most of the victims had no insurance and
relied on Medicaid to pay for their services. The current Washington
administration had done nothing to keep up with the treatment and needs of
its AIDS population. The Cole Institute had been funded solely by Roger's
endowment without any federal funds. It took years before some hospitals
would even admit patients who were HIV-positive. And if they died, it was a
bigger dilemma trying to find some undertaker who was willing to embalm or
even cremate the bodies. In the early days of the AIDS epidemic, only
ambulance-chasing-funeral-directors would agree to take an "infected"
corpse. Families of the deceased, tried desperately to hide their shame and
ease their guilty consciences by sky-high prices to some greedy asshole to
dispose of their "loved" one.
"I know it's bit forward of my saying this, but your brother and
his friend pulled no punches by announcing that they were gay. Does
it...uh...run in the family?"
"Are you asking if I'm gay?"
"Well...yes. You don't have to answer because it's none of my
business. I'm just curious, that's all. It's not like I'm trying to put the
make on you or anything."
"In that case, yes, I am."
"You're HIV-negative, I presume?"
"Yes. Yes, I am." Alex felt almost ashamed of being healthy and
AIDS-free.
"You're lucky," Scott said, "You have a long life ahead of you."
"You shouldn't sound so hopeless, Scott. With the new drugs and
treatments that are coming out, there's no reason shy YOU shouldn't have a
long life."
"I've tried all that stuff and it's all just a bunch of hopeful
bullshit! Everything I took, worked for a while, and then my viral lode
would increase and they'd start me on something new which brought on more
vomiting and diarrhea...and just when I got used to the dosages and got
myself in control, I'd have to switch to ANOTHER new drug. I got fucking
tired of it! I finally gave up. When I die, I'll die with a clear head and
unclogged veins without all that high-priced medication!"
"Yes, I know what you're talking about. I work in a crisis center
in L.A. where 90% of my clients are HIV-positive."
"You chose to do that for your life's work? Why, for God's sake?"
"I'm afraid I'm very much like my brother, only I'm not as
religious as he is."
"You're not?"
"Oh, I believe," Alex replied. "I'm not sure exactly what I believe
in, but I'm content with my feelings about God and such."
"I come from a long line of Italian Catholics. My parents even met
the pope once. But when they found out that their youngest son was
gay... not only gay but HIV-gay. Well, that was too much for them. What
would the Pope say? It was like they were trying to hide me or letting me
disappear under a rug or riding me off into the sunset. ANYWHERE, as long
as I moved out and far away from them."
"I'm sorry, Scott."
"I guess you've heard a thousand or a million stories like mine."
"I've heard a few."
"We're like fucking lepers, Alex. My brothers, my close friends,
not one of the self-righteous motherfuckers wanted me around anymore. To
them, I was nothing more than a cocksucker or a fudge packing Catholic who
was taught NOT to use condoms. So I didn't use 'em and look what happened
to me! Oh, I thanked my mom and dad for that, for years. The Catholic
Church denounces the use of rubbers and in the same breath, they're against
homosexuals and abortion. So if we practice unsafe sex as the church
teaches, we wind up screwed no matter if we're straight or gay."
"Jeff's religion is not Roman Catholic and it accepts you no matter
what you are."
"Thank God, something does."
"I'm not trying to convert you, but I wish you WOULD come to one of
Jeff's masses. You might find out something about yourself...something you
may be been missing in your life."
"Oh, I'll get around to going. I mean, hell, society dictates that
everyone has to have a funeral. So if I start feeling like my end is
nearing, I'll start going to mass."
"God, why is he so negative!" Alex thought to himself. "Do all the
residents here have the same attitude? No wonder they refuse advanced
treatment and drugs. They come here to hide and die...nothing more!!! Jeff
and Johnny have their work cut out for them. I hope that they know about
the problem that they're facing here in Mackintosh."
Alex finished his Coke and thought it was time to leave. His
thoughts of Ted already had him depressed, and listening to Scott was only
adding to his depression.
"Well, I guess I'd better head home," Alex said. "It was nice
meeting you, Scott."
"Same here." Scott replied as Alex got up to leave, "Hey, I'm
sorry. I don't usually rant and rave about my personal life. It's just that
you were a stranger who's not going to be in town long, and I guess I chose
you to dump on. I'm VERY sorry."
"Scott, back home, this is what I do for a living. I'm there to
listen to guys like you. Guys who need to open up to someone. Guys who
never seem to find someone to listen to them."
"I suppose...but I'm sorry, just the same."
"No reason to be." Alex said, "Do you mind if I come back again, in
case you need to vent some more?"
"I'd like that, Alex. There's just something about you... something
that told me I could trust you and say anything without being judged."
"I'm gay or did you forget?" Alex said. "I don't intend to ever
judge anyone for being himself. I think you'll find that Jeff and Johnny
will be friends to you, that is, if you want to get to know them better."
"I'll try."
"Promise?"
"Yes, buddy, and thanks!"
"I'll be back!"
"I'm looking forward to it. Maybe you've got things on your mind
you'd like to tell me about!"
"Could be."
"Then, I'll listen to YOU, next time."
"I just might take you up on that!"
"So long, buddy."
"Goodbye, Scott."
The rain had stopped when Alex returned to the street. The air was
a bit muggy now, but a thousand times fresher than any he could inhale in
L.A. As he neared the final block of the shopping district, a car pulled
up beside him, honking the horn twice.
"Hey, handsome! Wanna ride and a quick fuck?"
Alex was angered by the remark and turned to give the driver a
"what for", until he saw that it was Johnny behind the steering wheel.
"Come on, get in, I'll drive you home." Johnny said,
A deep sense of relief fell on Alex when he realized he wasn't
being hit on, although he still had to calm his momentary anger.
"You thought I was being serious, didn't you?" Johnny said as Alex
opened the door and sat in the passenger seat. "I could tell by the look in
your eyes. I can see you don't like it when someone aggressively tries to
pick you up."
"You got that right!" Alex replied.
"I see you spent your day shopping. Find any bargains or unusual
items for sale?"
"I bought Ted a bunch of stuff but didn't see anything I wanted for
myself."
"You're a true Clayton all right, always putting your other half
first. I recognized that trait, first in Jeff, next his father, and now,
you."
"I guess Jeff and I both pattern our lives by the way Dad brought
us up."
"And if you don't mind my saying it, he did a damned fine job with
both of his sons, not to mention the way he's guided Kyle and Ryan. They've
turned into really loving parents. Of course, I'll never be able to thank
Walter and Dave for the way they took me in and treated me as if I were
their own son."
"Thanks for saying that, Johnny. I guess we're all pretty damned
lucky."
"I had to go grocery shopping. Don't worry; I'm doing the
cooking. I've threatened Jeff's life if he ever tries to cook another meal
by himself!"
"I know he was just being thoughtful, trying to add ingredients to
his luncheon dish that you and I both liked. But tuna fish and peanut
butter? I'll remember that flavor as long as I remember the first penis I
sucked!"
They both enjoyed a hearty laugh. Then Johnny asked, "Did you meet
any of the residents?"
"A few,"
"What did you think?"
"They're all extremely nice, but I found most of them so goddamned
negative when it comes to treating their illness. It's like most of them
WANT to die."
"That's the same impression Jeff and I got. We're both aware of the
problem. We've just got to find a way to solve it and get them to want to
live."
"That's gonna take some powerful persuasion, especially with the
bartender at the Powder Puff."
"You mean Scott?"
"Yeah, listening to him, I'd say he's just one bullet short of
committing suicide. I invited him to come to mass."
"That was nice of you, Alex."
"I went into the Powder Puff and no sooner had we introduced
ourselves to one another...it was like he instantly became one of my
clients from my center back home."
"I'll talk with Jeff and see if we can put Scott's name at the top
of our priorities' list."
"I think that's a good idea." Alex said, "Did Jeff ever tell you
who the mysterious guest was, coming to dinner?"
"No," Johnny lied. "But don't worry, if he's a friend of Larry's,
he'll be all right."
"I hope so." Alex said, "I may excuse myself early and go to
bed. I'm rather tired."
"And depressed?"
"Yeah, kinda."
"I hope you'll stay with us a week or so, and get things sorted out
in your mind. That way, when you DO see Ted again, you'll know how to cope
with yours and Ted's situation."
"I hope."
"Things'll work out, I'm sure of it!"
"Damn! How can you stay so positive about everything?"
"Being around Jeff, I guess. I can't be negative whenever we're
together. You should know that. He's your brother. You grew up with him."
"Yes, Jeff's glass is always half full."
"And yours should be too."
"I suppose."
Johnny drove the car up the hill to the front door of his and
Jeff's cottage. Alex helped him carry the bags of groceries inside.
"Is all this food just for tonight?"
"Yes,"
"Jesus! If I have to eat a big meal, I WILL have to go to bed
early."
"Maybe...and maybe not!" Johnny said, thinking once more about
Ted's surprise arrival.
Alex offered to help Johnny with the piddley things such as
scraping carrots, chopping onions, and peeling potatoes, while Jeff
continued to make the house look nice...primarily the guest room.
Around 5:45 PM (just fifteen minutes before the anticipated arrival
of the "guest"), Johnny suggested that Alex go shave, shower and get
dressed for dinner. Alex agreed and went to the guest bathroom with his
toiletries and a change of clothing.
Johnny turned all the eyes on the stove to "low" while he asked
Jeff to join him in the shower. They always took time to bathe together
even after five years together. It was one of their favorite events of the
day. There was no time for the usual sexual games they loved to play with
the bar of soap on a rope or the massage control on the showerhead. They
wanted to look their best when they met Ted at the door...which should be
any minute!
When seven o'clock rolled around, a touch of panic hit Jeff. Johnny
shared his uneasy feeling. Alex didn't notice the time. He wasn't hungry as
he was still full from his late lunch, He went in the den to watch Peter
Jennings on the news, followed by "Wheel of Fortune" and "Jeopardy" which
took him up to eight o'clock. Then he went into the kitchen to be with his
brother and Johnny who were trying their best to keep worried looks from
their faces.
"No word from your guest, yet?" Alex asked.
"No," replied Jeff, and then he lied. "I called Larry and he said
that the guest might be a little late."
"Weren't you expecting him around six?"
"Yes."
"Well, two hours is more than being a 'little' late." Alex said.
"Alex, if you're hungry, I can fix you a plate or you can get an
early start on the hors d'oervres."
"No, I'll be fine."
"Johnny, why don't you take Alex into the den and watch TV until he
arrives?"
"Good idea!" Johnny replied. "Let's go see what movies are on
cable."
The two of them went to watch TV, leaving Jeff alone in the kitchen
to worry by himself. Johnny clicked the remote control until he found the
familiar faces of Barbra Streisand and Robert Redford. Both, he and Alex
had seen "The Way We Were", and the background music of Marvin Hamlisch
always sucked them into watching it again and again. The movie came on at
eight and didn't finish until a little after ten. Johnny had tried to look
at his watch every fifteen minutes without drawing Alex's attention to how
late it was getting.
"You know the moral of that movie?" Alex asked.
"What?"
"That is OK to get divorced. Some times people love each other more
when they both realized their marriage was a mistake. They recognize the
fact that they will both be happier separated and most of the time, they
remain good friends. The look that Streisand and Redford gave one another
as the embraced in the final scene. I suppose when you first meet someone,
you love him from afar, and if you can separate in a humane way with
dignity, years later you can meet and see that you did that right thing and
once again, love that person from afar."
"That's a good philosophy, Alex. Since Jeff and I got together,
I've never imagined living my life without him."
"That's because you two were meant for each other."
"You've been with Ted longer than Jeff and I."
"I know, but somehow it's different."
"What are you trying to say, Alex?"
"I don't know. I'm not sure. It's just different, That's all."
The phone rang around ten-thirty. Jeff made a mad dash to answer it
while Johnny and Alex looked on.
"Hello?" Jeff answered. "Oh, hi Father Cliff,"
Pause.
"No, we haven't begun to eat yet."
Pause.
"Yes, he's right here in the kitchen with Johnny and me."
Pause.
"Yes, Father, I'll put him on."
Pause.
"Alex, it's for you. Father Cliff wants to talk with you."
Alex took the receiver as Johnny gave Jeff a 'what's wrong' look.
Jeff shrugged his shoulders but he had a worried look on his face.
"Hello?" Alex said. "Hi, Father."
Pause.
"What do you mean?"
Pause.
"No, the last I heard, Ted was in New York."
Pause.
"No, you must be mistaken. I think he had to be in Atlanta by
tonight."
Pause.
"Father, you MUST be wrong. THAT CAN'T BE!"
Pause.
"WHEN?"
Pause. "
WHERE?"
Pause.
"WHAT HAPPENED?"
Pause.
"THAT CAN'T BE!"
Pause.
"HOW IS HE?"
A long pause.
"OH, MY GOD! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Alex dropped the phone.
<><><><><><>
(To be continued in "Briarwood--BOOK FIVE--"FATHER
JEFF"--Chapter-forty-eight.)