Date: Wed, 5 Apr 2006 17:48:26 EDT
From: RitchChristopher@cs.com
Subject: briarwood:unto-the-hills-80
All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or
are offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language,
please exit now.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
"BRIARWOOD"
Copyright Ritchris, 2005
aka "Whence Cometh My Help"
Copyright Ritchris, 2003
Revised Version
A dramatic saga
by
Ritch Christopher
<><><><><>
BEGINNING OF BOOK EIGHT
"UNTO THE HILLS"
Chapter-Eighty
* * * * * * * * *
"With a fine young son, to take my place,
I'll leave my son in my heaven on earth,
with the good Lord's grace."
"Gonna Build A Mountain"
from "Stop The World,
I Want To Get Off"
Music and lyrics by
Anthony Newley and
Leslie Bricusse
Copyright 1961
<><><><><><><>
Cliff was reading page eight of Vittorio's letter with eight or ten
pages to go. He almost copied Jay's action of reading the last page to find
out where and how Vittorio was. Before buying a novel at a book store, Jay
would flip to the final chapter and thumbnail read it to see the ending. If
the novel ended unhappily, Jay would put it back on the shelf and keep
perusing a dozen or so until he found a "happily ever after" conclusion and
he would buy it.
Cliff heard a tapping on the door to his study and assumed it was
his secretary, so he had no reason for not saying, "Come in." He was
surprised to see that Walter and Roger were together entering the office. It
was nine in the morning. Roger should be at the hospital and Walter, certainly
had things to do at his law office.
"Hey, guys, come on in," Cliff said.
Roger walked straight to Cliff's desk and kissed him on the cheek.
"Good morning, 'better half'," Roger said to Cliff.
"I suppose you're a bit surprised seeing us," Walter said.
"To say the least," Cliff replied.
"It's just that I wanted to discuss something with you and Roger,
together, and it couldn't wait. I stopped by Cole and picked up Roger on my
way over," Walter continued.
"Do you know what this is all about?" Cliff asked Roger.
"Haven't the slightest. Walt wouldn't give me a clue. I could only
assume that someone wanted to make a donation to either Cole or
St. Genesius and he wanted to tell us together."
"I...I have a gift to offer both of you, but it's not monetary."
"Good God, Walt!" Roger interrupted. "Don't tell me someone wants to
give us another god awful painting or Romanesque statue?" Roger's remark made
Cliff laugh.
"It's a rather unusual gift...one that could cost YOU money and a
lot of your spare time."
"You want us both the contribute and work for the upcoming
Democratic campaign? Is that it?" Cliff asked.
Cliff's remark, in turn, made Walter laugh out loud.
"Enough mystery and jokes," Walter said. "It seems I have temporary
guardianship of a certain fifteen-old-boy who is in desperate need of a
home."
"You're talking about Billy, I presume?" Cliff asked.
"The one and the same. As you know, Judge Horton upon hearing what
happened between Billy and his parents issued a nolo contendere order for
self-defense. Billy will NOT have to stand trial or be sentenced even more
manslaughter. He listened to Billy's story and my plea and nixed a motion for
a court hearing, but there IS one catch. Billy will be on a limited
probation if I can provide a family that's willing to assume responsibility
for him. Dave and I would love to have him come live with us, but since I
am his lawyer and court-appointed legal guardian, there's a matter of
conflict of interest. I thought about Ryan and Kyle, but in sight of their
precarious circumstances, plus their already having Little Pete and Danny,
not to mention Jake and Lee at the moment, it wouldn't be fair to ask them to
consider housing and caring for a troubled teenager. Troy and Jay,
virtually, live with the two of you...and the next two people that came to
mind were..."
"Us?" Cliff and Roger responded simultaneously.
"Yep. Neither of you have ever raised a kid, except for half the
boys in Briarwood. But you've never had one of your own," Walter said.
"But, Walt, don't you think Billy should have some 'say so' with
whom he wants to live and act as his parents?" Cliff asked.
"I've already asked Billy."
"And?"
"Cliff, that day at the jail when I left you and Billy alone, the
kid fell in love with you almost instantly. I don't know what you said, but
every time I mention your name, he lights up like the Rockefeller Center
Christmas tree. As for you, Roger, somehow he's learned about the fantastic
work you're doing at the Institute. The day of the twin's christening, he
couldn't keep his eyes off you. Privately, he refers to you as a handsome
hunk."
"Good Lord!" Roger said, as his face turned red.
"So...what do you think?" Walt asked.
"Walt, you old devil, you know I could never turn ANY kid away, but
to become his guardian and keep track of him 24/7...I just don't know."
"Oh, I don't want you and Roger to become his guardians...and neither
does Billy."
"I hope you're not going to say what I'm thinking," Cliff said.
"I won't say it out loud unless I have to."
"Parents? Us? REAL parents?" Cliff and Roger announced together.
"There are no finer men in this world than the two of you. Since
both of you are Dave's and my best friends, I think it would be wonderful
for all three of you. Billy would be ecstatic."
Cliff looked at Roger and asked, "What do you think, babe?"
"I've always thought you needed a son of your own. As for me, I
always wanted a goldfish," Roger joked.
Cliff looked sternly at Walter. "Walter Clayton, you old sneak! I
suppose you've already drawn up the adoption papers, haven't you?"
Walter looked at the floor, sheepishly. "They...they're in my
briefcase. Judge Horton is ready to sign them as soon as you both agree."
Roger seemed more enthused, "You know Cliff, that while I'm at the
Institute and you're here at the church, Troy and Jay are always at the
house to look after him."
Walter chimed in, "Just think! He's only fifteen. You both can have
long father-son discussions. You can teach him to drive a car. You can go
to Briarwood High and watch him play sports, dress him for his first prom,
teach him to become a man with proper schooling, manners, love of the
arts. You could give him things nobody else in the world could dream of
giving him. Lord in heaven knows that Jeff was my real flesh and blood son,
but you both raised him more AND did a better job than I. Who else could
influence the wildest boy in the neighborhood to become one of the finest
priests in New Hampshire? Jeff, and even Alex, are the way they are because
of you two."
"Yes, but I seem to recall that Jeff and Alex are both gay, married
gays at that. Suppose Billy wants to grow up heterosexual?"
"Then, treat him as such! Jesus Christ, Cliff! Half of your
congregation is straight and they love you as much as the rest of us do who
are gay."
Again, Cliff, as always, looked at Roger for guidance. "You want
him, don't you, Rog?"
"I think we both NEED him, especially you...and better yet, I think
he needs US."
"My God, what am I thinking?" Cliff exclaimed. "Walt, open up your
damned briefcase and get out the papers. Roger and I will sign them
immediately."
Walter opened his briefcase as Roger mused out loud, "I can take off
from the Institute Saturday and Billy and I can drive into town and buy him a
whole new wardrobe..."
Cliff laughed, "Yes, and I'm sure while your at it, Billy will need
a Playstation 2 and a Game Box, dozens of cartridges, his own TV with DVD
and home theatre speakers, and at least a hundred new DVD's that
15-year-old kids like to watch."
"Yes, and you forgot the M3 player, Cliff," Roger said, excitedly.
"My God, how could I be so thoughtless. He'll definitely need an M3
player and every tune on the Billboard top 100 chart! I hope you know a good
acoustic engineer who can soundproof his room so that Matchbox 20 won't
drown out my Mahler's Fourth in our den," Cliff joked.
"What else do 15-year-old boys like?" Roger asked.
"They like 15-year-old girls or maybe in Billy's case, he might
prefer 15-year-old boys or maybe older men that look like hunks, as he
prefers to call you."
Walter smiled. "You sound as excited about adopting Billy as the
kid did in 'A Christmas Story' when he finally got his Red Ryder BB gun."
Walter handed the adoption papers to Cliff and both Cliff and Roger
signed all the blanks where Walter had "X'd".
"Who's going to break the news to Jay and Troy that they've just
become permanent baby sitters?" Cliff asked Roger.
"I will, but I don't think either of them will feel like baby
sitters, they're getting a new kid brother."
"Oh, Jesus!" Cliff exclaimed, "Jay will throw a party for Billy
every chance he gets. In sight of six months, Billy will weigh four-hundred
pounds from all the cakes that Jay will bake for him."
"Who in the world loves giving parties and baking cakes more than
Jay?" Roger replied.
"That's what scares the bejesus out of me!" Cliff said.
Walter took the papers from Cliff and placed them back into his
briefcase. "I'll take these over to Judge Horton now to have them
finalized. What time are both of you planning on being home for dinner?"
"Around six," Cliff and Roger replied.
"I'll bring Billy by around six-thirty, if that's OK with the two
of you."
"Six thirty is fine," Cliff said.
"Come on, Roger, and I'll drop you off at Cole."
"Thanks, Walt," Roger replied. "You know we could've taken my new
Ferrari!"
"Just hold onto it, Billy can get his driver's license in one more
year."
"Oh, God!" Roger exclaimed, "I hadn't thought of that! Maybe he'd
look better driving a Lamborghini to Briarwood High every day?"
"Not on your life, Rog! He'll have a Mustang like Alex and Ted had!"
"Only if YOU take him shopping for cars before I get the chance!"
"FORD MUSTANG! Listen, I'd better call Jay and Troy with the news.
It's almost nine-thirty. I expect that by four this afternoon, Jay will
have remodeled and redecorated a room for Billy...only NO lavender or
puce."
The three of them laughed as Roger leaned over to kiss Cliff and say
'goodbye'.
"Did I forget to tell you today that I loved you?" Roger said.
"I love you, too...DADDY!" Cliff joked.
"Hey, you know, I kinda like the sound of that!"
"Thank the Lord there's no two A.M. feedings or diapers to change,"
Cliff said.
"Amen and hallelujah! That's even better!" Roger said as he went out
the door putting his arm around Walter.
Cliff paused at his desk to offer a prayer of thanksgiving. When he
finished praying, he stared at Vito's letter and said, "Sorry, Vito old boy,
you're just gonna have to wait. I just became a father...a REAL father!"
Cliff was gleefully excited as he dialed home and Jay answered the phone.
"Jay?"
"Cliff?"
"Guess who's coming to dinner?"
"Cliff if you say the Archbishop, I'll shit in the floor and it'll
take me two days to clean it up."
"In that case, you'd better get a tub of water and an elephant
scrub brush when I tell you the news..."
<><><><><><><><><>
The mountains of New Hampshire were similar to the Smokies of North
Carolina only steeper with crests of snow. Wade wouldn't be so homesick as
he thought as he surveyed the countryside. To most guys his age who had
never been as much as one hundred miles away from home in his entire life,
moving up north had a subliminal connotation of tall buildings in big
cities occupied by unfriendly people.
Both Steve and Wade took an instant liking to Rob and Timmy. Of
course, the Broadway Briarwood boys were practically famous in New York
circles, each having won a Tony award for "Green Dolphin Street". Rob and
Timmy's apartment was posh but homey. They were both successful and ranked
among the affluent ritzy crowd of New Yorkers, that is, when they were both
working. A star on Broadway isn't really a star unless you're working in a
hit show. Otherwise, you're just one of the massive out of work actors
waiting for the next big "something" to come along.
Stephen Sondheim had been interviewed by one of the renowned
critics of theatre and Steve had stated firmly that "Broadway was
dead". Arguments could be made on both sides of that statement, but the
pure Broadway musical aficionados would agree. Rarely in the past decade
had a new musical been written with a singable score and memorable
dialogue. Sure, there were big hits that needed millions of dollars of
special effects such as falling chandeliers, gondolas which tracked across
the stage in a misty fog...actors in cat costumes, lion and beast heads,
etc. But, the old fashioned musical was only remembered by countless revivals
of yesteryear when they wrote songs "like they used to".
Steve nor Wade could never have imagined the wondrous display of
music and dance when they saw Rob playing Tommy in "Brigadoon". The
traditional Scottish reels had been replaced by cloggers a la "Riverdance"
and the entire show was a spectacle to behold. Wade's hands were still sore
from applauding after each number. He wouldn't have been more excited if
he'd seen Elvis in person. And then to top it off, he and Steve met with
the star and conductor of the show, had dinner and drinks with them at a
famous restaurant filled with stars from both New York and Hollywood. All
of them seemed to know Timmy and Rob personally.
Steve was more interested at looking at Wade's expression every
time Wade saw a star he'd only seen on screen. Wade was "gagaed" by
everyone and everything he saw. Rob made sure that he introduced his guests
from Hawthorne to every star that greeted him. Was that REALLY Tom Cruise
who shook Wade's hand? Tim Robbins was there with Susan Sarandon, Sean
Penn, and Robin Wright. Walking into Joe Allen's was like walking down the
red carpet at the Oscars only there was no red carpet.
Steve took it all in, too, but he was happy, primarily, because his
new young lover was having such a great time. A couple of times, Steve
hugged Wade or held his hand and neither of them were ashamed or reticent
about being a new gay couple. In New York, it was all right to be gay and
the two Carolinians felt free to be so open about their relationship. They
were moving to Mackintosh, but as far as the two of them were concerned,
they spent their honeymoon up and down Broadway.
Now, the end of their journey was almost here...the end of the
journey from Hawthorne to Mackintosh, but it was just the beginning of the
rest of their lives together. Their hearts pounded in anticipation of
seeing Johnny and meeting Jeff and the twins. Nothing in the world could
upset the happiness the two were experiencing when they reached Mackintosh
city limits.
"My God, Steve," Wade exclaimed. "Look at all the shops...and the
houses! They look like something from a fairy tale. It's a whole new
world!"
"Johnny told me that the townsfolk built everything by hand, but I
never expected anything like this. I told you that Mackintosh was created
as a respite for people with AIDS and HIV. I don't know why I thought it
would be gloomy and depressing, but just seeing as little of Mackintosh as
I have, I feel like gettin' out of the car and dancin' down the
street. It's beautiful, Wade! I only hope that my mom comes to visit, this
place will seem like a haven to her."
"You probably have some idea of what my mom would say about it!"
Wade said.
"No, no, no, we're not gonna think or talk about your mom. This is
OUR life now...yours and mine and we're gonna be happy from now on."
"In the past few days, have you stopped and wondered how we
could've been just buddies all those years and now, we're in love. Nothing
changed really. We're still the same Steve and Wade that have always known
each other..."
"But now, we're a family," Steve said, cutting off Wade's remark.
"I hadn't thought of it like that, but we ARE! We're a family!"
Wade, all but shouted. "I love you so much, Steve."
"And I love you just as much, my little guy."
"I like it when you say things like that...'my little guy'. I AM
your little guy. I belong to you, heart and soul...and you...you're mine."
Steve almost steered his car off the road as Wade made a lunge to
kiss him. Ten minutes later they drove into Jeff and Johnny's
driveway. Jeff stayed inside the house to be with the twins while Johnny
went to Steve's car to welcome him.
Steve bounced out of the car and grabbed Johnny around the waist
and spun him around as he had often done when they were teenagers. Johnny
responded with a tight hug hold on his cousin.
"Good Lord, Johnny, you look great!" Steve exclaimed.
"You don't look so bad yourself!" Johnny replied. When Steve
released Johnny, Johnny took a step backward to get a good long look at
Steve and said, "Well, you certainly don't look gay!", a remark which made
both cousins laugh out loud.
"Want some proof?" Steve joked.
"Not THAT kind," Johnny replied.
"Stupid, I wasn't trying to put the make on you, I want you to meet
the guy that brought me out. Come here, Wade."
Wade, timidly got out of the car to meet Johnny.
"Cuz, this is my...my boyfriend, my lover, my other half, and the
person I love most in this world. Johnny, this is Wade."
"Please to meet you, Johnny," Wade said putting out his hand.
Johnny wanted to make Wade comfortable in what might have been an
embarrassing situation and Johnny did not take Wade's hand. Instead, Johnny
put out his arms and embraced Wade.
"This is the way southerners greet one another," Johnny said,
"especially kin folk."
Wade felt relieved by Johnny's instant acceptance of him and
reacted by hugging Johnny.
Johnny released him and said, "You must really be quite a guy to
make the biggest stud in Hawthorne give up about a million girls and
cross over to the male side of the pasture."
"I...I don't know if it was me, exactly, I...it was Steve who made
me find out about myself," Wade said.
"It doesn't matter who did what to whom," Johnny said. "The
important thing is you found each other and that's what counts. I don't
want to ask personal questions standing here in the driveway, Wade, but do
you go to church? Do you believe in God?"
"He was practically raised as a holy roller," Steve jutted in.
"Then, it's obvious who brought you two together. Jeff and I
believe that when someone finds his soulmate, it's an act of God and it was
meant to be."
Johnny's explanation had never occurred to Wade, but suddenly a lot
of things made sense to him. Maybe it was God that had brought him and
Steve to an understanding about their true feelings. Wade's face lit up
with a pseudo-spiritual countenance and he knew he liked Johnny,
instantly. He and Steve were not going to be judged by anyone. If Jeff was
anything like Johnny, and there was little doubt, coming to Mackintosh was
the right thing to do.
"Come on in, you two, we'll get your bags later. I want you to meet
the rest of your new family," Johnny said, putting an arm around each,
Steve and Wade, and walking them into the house.
Jeff was seated on the couch with two bassinettes in front of
him. He arose to meet his guests.
"Steve, Wade, this is my lifetime mate, Jeff."
"Hello, Father," Wade said.
"Hi, Jeff," Steve added.
"No, no," Jeff said to Wade, "none of that 'Father' stuff if we're
going to be family. I'm just plain Jeff, or Cousin Jeff, whichever you
prefer."
"OK, Jeff," Wade corrected himself.
"Well, the three of you...don't be shy," Johnny said, "let's see
some hugging and kissing among you."
Jeff embraced Steve and Wade in a triangular hug and Johnny joined
in to make it a quartet.
Jeff said, "Steve I could've picked you out of a crowd of ten
thousand. You and Johnny could pass for brothers."
"Only I'm better looking, right?" Johnny kidded.
"I would say that," Jeff joked, "I don't remember you ever having a
stud reputation if what you said about Steve is true."
"Oh, it's true all right," Johnny said. "I just never seemed to
find any guys who were brave enough to be attracted to me whenever I went
to Hawthorne to visit Steve."
"Johnny's right, Jeff. I had no idea that ANYONE in Hawthorne even
had gay thoughts until about the last week I spent down there and suddenly
the whole town was crawling with gay guys...most of them were my best
friends. I hope I don't embarrass Wade by sayin' this, but Wade was my
first and only."
"I don't mind your telling them that. It makes me feel more
secure," Wade spoke up.
"You see," Steve interrupted, "Wade can say that, but I can't. I
wasn't his first. I was his second."
"Well, it was your own fault, if you'd've gotten your way with
Noah, there might not have been a 'you and me'."
The mention of Noah created a sudden quietus on the moment. As soon
as Johnny heard Noah's name, he gave a somber look at Jeff and Jeff knew
immediately about his agreement to break the bad news to Steve and
Wade. Steve sensed something serious had just happened or was about to
occur when he looked at Johnny and Jeff's faces.
"What's wrong, Johnny? You looked like you've just seen a ghost,"
Steve said.
"Nothing, I thought I heard one of the babies about to cry," Johnny
lied. "Both of you come over here and meet your new cousins, Little Cliff
and Little Roger."
Johnny picked up Little Roger and handed him to Steve and then gave
Little Cliff to Wade.
"They're beautiful," Wade said. "They are really identical."
"Get used to holding them, Jeff and I might want to put you on baby
patrol real soon," Johnny said.
Steve, nor Wade, had ever held a baby before. They tried to hold
the twins gingerly but firmly.
"They won't break," Johnny jested. "Who knows? If you get into the
routine you might want one or two of your own some day."
"I...I don't know about that just yet," Steve said. "Havin' kids is
a long ways off."
"Still using condoms, huh?" Johnny joked while Wade blushed, then
the four of them broke into laughter. "Wade, why don't you and I go out to
the car and get your bags and stuff. I think Jeff wants to talk privately
with Steve."
"Oh?" Steve and Wade said together.
"Yeah, Jeff wants to talk to him about...about, oh, some kind of
job he might be interested in applying for," Johnny lied again.
"OK," Wade said.
Johnny and Wade went back to the car, leaving Steve with Jeff and
the twins.
"What kind of job?" Steve asked. "I didn't expect to get an offer
so soon. I just got here in Mackintosh."
"Sit down, Steve," Jeff said, putting the two babes into their
cribs. "I...I don't want to talk to you about a job...at least not
yet. It's something important that I have to say to you and I guess Johnny
didn't want Wade to hear."
Steve sensed the seriousness of Jeff's voice. "What is it, Jeff?"
"Steve, your mother called Johnny two nights ago."
"My mother? Is she all right?"
"I didn't speak to her, but your mother is fine."
"I don't understand. Why would she call Johnny with something
you're gonna tell me."
"I suppose your mother and Johnny felt that since I was a priest
and I've had more experience in...in baring bad tidings."
"Jeff, I'm sorry but you're scaring the hell out of me. What is
it?"
"A couple of seconds ago, Wade mentioned a guy named Noah. I hope
you won't be angry with Johnny, but I was here the night you called Johnny
about a Hawthorne boy you were interested in at the time. You and Johnny
had quite a long conversation about gay sex. When Johnny hung up the phone,
he relayed your conversation to me."
"And?"
"That was Noah, wasn't it?"
"As a matter of fact it was. You also should have picked up on what
else Wade said, I never had sex with Noah. It wasn't that I didn't' want
to, it's just that things worked out with Wade and me instead."
"Then, I'm more grateful than ever that the two of you have one
another."
"But what's this got to do with my mother and Noah?"
"Steve, I don't know any other way of telling you than, your mother
called to say that Noah is dead."
"WHAT??? OH, MY GOD! What happened?" Steve's heart was pounding
against his chest.
"Steve, he was murdered."
"OH, MY GOD, NO!!!" Steve shouted. "Was he in Hawthorne or in
Chattanooga?"
"He was found just outside Chattanooga. He was naked. The coroner
said he had been raped and apparently strangled to death."
"Who did it, for Christ's sake?"
"Some of Noah's schoolmates saw him getting into a car at the
entrance to the school with a young blonde male before they drove off. Noah
didn't return that night or the next. His body was found three days later."
"Did they catch the guy that did it to him?"
"Your mother didn't know, but apparently not."
Steve's fear turned to tears. "Oh, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, why...? I
loved Noah...and what Wade said was true, I think if I'd had relations with
him...I ...I, well, I don't know what would have happened between Noah and
me. I guess I'll never know now."
Jeff moved closer to Steve on the couch and put an arm around him
as Steve wept.
Steve continued, "I guess I'd better tell Wade not to unpack our
things, we should just head on back to Hawthorne."
"NO! That's what your mother told Johnny for you NOT to do. She
said he would be buried in Hawthorne by the time you tried to return. There
was nothing you could do. There was nothing for ANYONE to do. It's all up
to the Hamilton County detectives to catch the guy and bring him to
justice."
"Oh, God, Jeff! None of this had to happen! Not Noah! He...he was a
little flirt and sometimes carried a joke a bit too far, but he didn't
deserve this! Oh God, this is going to be as rough on Wade as it is to me."
"How so?" Jeff asked.
"I know I'm telling tales out of school, but you're a priest, and I
suppose 'family' now, but Wade and Noah lost their virginity to each other,
the day before Wade and I hooked up for the first time."
"Good heavens! Neither Johnny nor I knew."
"No one did...just Noah, Wade, and me."
"Steve, do you want me to tell Wade?"
"Yes, please! Let me go to the bathroom before he and Johnny return
and I'll wash my face and wait in there until you've told him."
"Steve, please come back soon. I think you should be here to
comfort Wade and he, you. You are going to need each other a lot to get
over this tragedy."
"I STILL can't believe it!"
"I know. I've been dreading the thought of having to tell you, but
remember you have Johnny and me now and I hope we're going to stay together
for a long time."
"I think...I think I hope so, too."
"Maybe there was some kind of conflict between you and Johnny in
the past, but that's all erased now. We are going to be as close as
brothers, the two of you and Johnny and me. My real brother and his lover
live about ten minutes from here. You're going to have more friends,
brothers, and caring neighbors than you've ever known before. There's an
unbreakable chain that links us all together in Mackintosh and you'll soon
feel a part of it."
"Jeff, all this gay love business is so new to me. What Johnny told
you about me is true. I'm the last person in the world who could ever fall
in love with another guy. I couldn't understand how two guys could do that
and lead a normal life. But...but, seeing you and Johnny together...and
your two kids. Everything seems to make sense now. I can see why Johnny
fell in love with you. I can see why no girl in the world would ever be
right for him. You're what he wanted and he has you."
"Yes, Steve, and you and Wade have each other in the same way. You
say you love each other now, but just wait, your love for him will grow
every day and every night. You'll become as one person, one entity that
will be joined for the rest of your lives."
"Jeff, I've changed my mind," Steve said. "I think it's best if I
tell Wade about Noah."
"Johnny and I will be close by if you need us," Jeff said.
"Oh, I'm gonna need you...a lot! And so will Wade. I don't mean
right now, but times in the future, I'm sure."
"That's great of you to say that. I can only hope that you and Wade
will be there if Johnny or I should need you."
"You better believe it!" Steve exclaimed, hugging Jeff. "You know,
I've only known you fifteen minutes and yet, I feel like I love you as a
best friend or brother already."
"That's the nicest thing you could've said to me, Steve."
"Well, I meant it!"
Johnny had stalled outside with Wade to give Jeff ample time to
talk with Steve. Johnny had taken Wade to the back of the house to look at
the view of the valley and distant mountains before unpacking the car. Wade
felt the same sensation that Steve had expressed. Being with Johnny reminded
Wade so much of Steve. The cousins remarkable resemblance went beyond good
looks, Johnny and Steve's personalities were similar. They spoke with
authority but had a good sense of humor and both had big hearts. Wade felt
as if he had known Johnny all his life.
Johnny, on the other hand, was so used to meeting strangers and
clients for many years, trying to make them feel comfortable and safe. Wade
was his cousin's new lover, so he was more than just a client to
Johnny. They almost had acquired a big brother/little brother relationship
in their first meeting.
Wade was surprised when he turned around to see Steve joining
them. Steve gave Johnny some excuse that Jeff needed him in the house so
that he could be alone with Wade to tell him about Noah. Johnny got the
drift and left the two of them alone in the backyard.
Once inside the house Johnny and Jeff went into the kitchen and
peered outside to watch as Steve gently told Wade what had happened. Wade
got a look of shock on his face and sank to his knees bursting into
tears. Steve dropped to his knees to put his arms around Wade, consoling
him. Steve was crying too.
Johnny and Jeff let the two young lovers comfort each other while
they went to Steve's car and got the luggage and brought it inside to the
room which they had prepared for the new residents. Shortly, Steve and Wade
came back into the house, both trying to force smiles through their
sorrow. Johnny and Jeff went to them and once again embraced.
The bad news had been revealed and the healing process had
begun. The four of them would be close for years to come.
<><><><><><><>
In three days, Ryan, Kyle, Little Pete and Danny were set to embark
on their undetermined time limited excursion to Europe and places to be
named later. Not knowing how long they would stay where, choosing the
proper wardrobe was a problem, meaning they would have to pack summer
clothes as well as being prepared for countries with a colder climate
requiring jackets, gloves, etc.
The travel arrangements and planning had been made at Briarwood
Travels Unlimited. Kyle drove down to pick up the tickets, passports, and
travel itinerary. Danny's school teachers weren't aware of Ryan's illness,
which was the primary reason for the trip, but they were delighted that
Danny would get to see so much of the world at such a young age. A picture
of the Tower of London or the Taj Mahal can say a thousand words, but
seeing the real thing was immeasurable.
Ryan had had a long chat and a final physical exam by Harvey Whitman
at the Institute and Harvey had prescribed every known medicine that Ryan
might need in case they were needed unexpectedly, especially if there were no
pharmacies available in the foreign countries, including steroids to build
muscle tissue, antibiotics, pain killers, and a massive amount of vitamins.
There were so many bottles of pills, it took a small extra suitcase to tote
them. Ryan joked that he might be arrested for being a drug pusher if he
were to be questioned in customs. Harvey had written an affidavit that the
pharmaceuticals had been prescribed by him and his personal phone number at
Cole if there should be any problem.
Jay had bought the kids a small laptop DVD player with a DVD disc
carrier which held twenty of the most popular Disney classics. Both, Danny
and Little Pete could probably recite every line of dialogue and sing every
Disney song from memory and never seemed to get tired of watching them over
and over. Danny's favorite was "Peter Pan" while Little Danny loved 'Scamp'
from "Lady and the Tramp-Part Two".
Cliff offered to take the family of four to the airport and give
them his blessing for the trip. Even though St. Christopher was out of
favor with the Vatican, Troy had bought four medallions of the traveler's
saint for luck or just in case old Christopher might still have some power
in other parts of the world. Kyle, Ryan, Danny, and Little Pete were
delighted with their gifts.
Kyle returned home with the tickets and several other items he
bought downtown. He opened the door to his house and found Danny and Little
Pete in the den, surfing page after page on the computer which was linked
to "Mr. Roger's Neighborhood" website. Kyle pause at the door to look and
listen as his two sons sang, "It's You I Like", with Mr. Rogers. Kyle
smiled and thanked God that there had been a Fred Rogers for the ages. Kyle
had learned Fred's song twenty years earlier on PBS and sang along with the
boys.
"It's you I like, It's not the things you wear, It's not the way you
do your hair-- But it's you I like The way you are right now, The way down
deep inside you-- Not the things that hide you, Not your toys-- They're just
beside you. But it's you I like-- Every part of you, Your skin, your eyes,
your feelings Whether old or new. I hope that you'll remember Even when
you're feeling blue That it's you I like, It's you yourself, It's you,
it's you I like."
Kyle thought how wonderful it is to re-live your youth through your
own children. He smiled and walked down the hall to the bedroom to deposit
his bundles on the desk. The bed was empty but rumpled where Ryan had been
resting. Kyle assumed that Ryan was in the bathroom.
"Hey, Lucy, I'm home!" Kyle shouted in his best Arnazian accent. He
waited for a reply from Ryan, but none came. "Hey, LUCY!"...still nothing.
"Ryan?"..."Honey?"..."Sweetheart?". A surge of panic struck Kyle in the pit
of his stomach as he ran to the bathroom.
Ryan was lying on the floor next to the toilet. His pajama bottoms
were around his ankles, appearing that he had fallen while sitting on the
commode. His breathing was erratic and his eyes clinched as if he was in
great pain.
Kyle screamed, "Ryan! My God! What happened?"
"I...uh...fell, I guess," Ryan replied through a strained
whisper. "I think I hit my head on the side of the lavatory."
Kyle could see the mark on Ryan's left temple. He reached for a
washcloth and moistened it under the cold tap, then squatted and began to
wash Ryan's face gently. The coolness of the wet cloth felt good to Ryan.
"Ryan, can you tell me what happened?"
"I...I'm not sure. I felt fine walking from the bed to the
toilet. I sat down and...and it was like all the muscles in my body
collapsed. I had this...this tingling sensation...and...and I knew I didn't
have enough strength to stay balanced on the toilet seat. I...I tried
to...to steady myself by holding on to the side of the lavatory, but my
hand was too weak to hold on...and...and then I fell."
"Sweetheart, don't move," Kyle said, "I'm calling for an
ambulance."
Kyle rushed to his cell phone he had dropped on the desk and
quickly dialed "911".
An hour later Kyle was sitting in the waiting room of the ER at
Cole, nervous as hell. It had been years since his old bar-cruising days
that he craved a cigarette. Of course with the new no-smoking rules in
every conceivable building in the United States, he knew he would have to
go outside to light up and perhaps miss word on Ryan's condition. Twenty
years ago, Kyle would have gone through half a pack of Marlboro 100's in an
hour's time when he was fidgety. None of the Briarwood boys smoked now, as
all of them had in the past. Leave it to Jay to come up with the reason
that there was so much hubbub about smoking. Granted, smoking was and is an
addiction, but Jay's theory was that the anti-smoking laws resonated from
former smokers who had quit and it drove them crazy to see someone else
light up. Non-smokers or people whom had never started rarely criticized
secondhand smoke because they had never had the reason to fight the
addiction. They never seemed to complain. But, let some old codger with
COPD or emphysema get a whiff of the smoke and he'd immediately ask the
smoker to dowse the fag.
Dr. Clay Lawson was the attending physician on duty in the ER. He
was a young dashing physician around 30-35 years old...unmarried, great
body, and a facial countenance that would rival a soap opera lead with
streaked blonde hair, ruddy complexion, and cold blue eyes. Many nurses had
been shunned by their advances toward him. He was either a very dedicated
physician or a "friend of Dorothy's" or both. As luck would have it, Clay,
had written a thesis for his doctorate on Hodgkin's disease. His father had
died from it years ago and since in many cases it was hereditary and the
gene might be passed on to him. He came out of the examining room and met
Kyle.
"How is he?" Kyle asked, anxiously.
"Kyle, let's sit down and have a talk."
"I...I'm always reticent and fear for the worse when someone asks
me to sit down and talk. It's usually bad news."
"I'm afraid, this situation is as you feared," Clay said.
"Ryan's very sick, isn't he?"
"I'm afraid so...VERY sick."
"But, I thought everything was in remission. We were ready to leave
on our trip. He...he looked perfectly fine earlier today."
"Normally, I would say that he could rally and bounce back, but
reading his history...I hope you won't get angry, but I took the liberty of
reading your case history after reading Ryan's, just to see if either of you
had ever had a similar illness together, such as STD's, hepatitis...things
which some gay couples sometimes experience. I...I read that you came to Cole
to be treated for AIDS a few years ago."
"Yes, but Dr. Ed pronounced me totally cured. My AIDS went into
remission four or five years ago...and what's more, Ryan never was HIV
positive, nor did he have AIDS!"
"Just the same, I DID check him and you're right, he was HIV and AIDS
free. Maybe it was from a childhood illness or some disease Ryan had before
the two of you met...but something caused irreparable damage to his immune
system. Not having access to his early medical records, we have been unable
to find what it was...but this SOMETHING seemed to lying dormant or on hold
for many years...just as AIDS might...or hepatitis C. That often doesn't come
to fruition until twenty or thirty years after a person has contracted it. But
now with the onslaught of Hodgkin's, there doesn't seem to be enough immune
efficiency in his body to combat the new illness. Ryan's war pawns just seemed
to have run out of steam and there's practically nothing left to
combat a major disease or illness."
"Are you saying that he's dying?"
"I'm sorry," Clay said, calmly but firmly.
"Oh, my God," Kyle uttered, on the verge of tears. "Everything was
arranged for the four of us, Ryan, myself, and our two boys. We had travel
plans for Europe, Africa, Asia, particularly India and Tibet. Ryan wanted
to see the Dalai Lama."
"I know how disappointing and shocking this must be to you...to all
FOUR of you."
"Clay, will he get better enough to come home?"
"Kyle, I wouldn't count on it."
"Oh, Jesus Christ! I can't imagine going home without him knowing
he'll never see it again."
"Kyle, is there someone I can call to be with you?" Clay offered.
"I want Cliff here...Father Cliff," Kyle said, and quickly added,
"And Roger."
"Certainly. I'll call Mr. Cole, myself."
"Can I see him...Ryan, I mean?"
"Sure, he's a bit lethargic. I've given him some steroids and some
pain medication. Why don't you go into the room and visit with him while I
make the call?"
"Thanks, Clay."
The two of the stood up simultaneously and Clay offered his hand to
Kyle. The moment was too much for Kyle, he embraced Clay and began to sob
on his shoulder. Clay held Kyle fervently, letting his hand go up and down
Kyle's back in a gesture of comfort. They stood locked together for several
minutes until Kyle regained some sense of composure. Clay had a packet of
hospital tissue in his white doctor's coat and gave them to Kyle to wipe
his eyes, face, and blow his nose. Finally, Kyle got a grip on himself,
sighed, swallowed deeply and headed toward the examination room where Ryan
was. Clay watched as Kyle walked bravely across the room and entered the
swinging doors before he went to make the call to Cliff and Roger. God! How
Clay hated to break news of sadness to a family member, but this was all
part of his medical territory. He'd told many people about the impending
doom of their loved ones and would do so, many times in the future...but it
never got any easier.
Kyle entered Ryan's room and was a bit stunned when he saw the O-2
mask covering Ryan's face. Ryan had an IV in each arm and a multitude of
wires stretching from his body to monitors with sprawling green lines of
light beeping and racing across the screens. Kyle approached Ryan's bed
cautiously and gently took Ryan's hand which was softly flaccid and
cold. Kyle leaned over to kiss the back of the hand which caused Ryan to
stir slightly and open his eyes.
"Hi, baby," Kyle said, with a sturdy effrontery so as not to break
into tears.
Ryan smiled, as best he could under the mask and replied "Hi",
which sounded more like "Humph".
"Are...are you in any pain?" Kyle asked.
Ryan replied by moving his head side to side.
"That's good," Kyle said. "I...uh...talked to Clay, your doctor,
and he said you'd be sorta out of it for a couple of days until you get
your strength back. You need lots of vitamins and rest...so that we can
leave on our trip," Kyle said, cheerfully lying. "We...we've been through
lots together and we always seem to manage to come out smelling like a
gardenia bush in May. We...we'll get through this too."
Even though Ryan's thinking was muddled by his weakness and the
medication, he knew his lover too well. He knew exactly when and if Kyle
was lying. Kyle WAS lying, but he didn't want to break the spell of the web
of lies Kyle was spinning for both their sakes.
Kyle took his hand away from Ryan's and walked across the room to
drag a chair next to the bed. He sat and once again gently grabbed Ryan's
hand to hold. Ryan closed his eyes, pretending to sleep. He didn't want to
hear any more news of the trip that they would never take. He didn't want
to upset his lover, nor did he want to dwell on the inevitable.
Kyle was unaware that he was rocking. He started humming a
Streisand tune, "Why Did I Choose You", making it sound like a lullaby.
"Why did I choose you?
What did I see in you?
I saw the heart you hide so well
I saw a quiet man who had a gentle way
A way that caught me in its glowing spell
Why did I want you?
What could you offer me?
A love to last a life time through
And when I lost my heart so many years ago,
I lost it lovingly and willingly to you...
If I had to choose again,
I would still choose you..."
Kyle sat there beside Ryan for an hour or so, hushed, just the two of them
until Cliff and Roger arrived.
<><><><><><><>
(To be continued in "Briarwood"---BOOK EIGHT--chapter--eighty-one.)
"Why Did I Choose You?"
from the Broadway musical, "The Yearling"
Lyrics by Herbert Martin, Music by Michael Leonard
copyright 1965