Date: Thu, 11 Sep 2008 16:50:03 -0400
From: ronyx <ronyx@woh.rr.com>
Subject: Brittle as a Bird  Chapter 20

The following is a work of fiction. Any similarities to anyone are purely
coincidental. The story is intended for a mature audience. It may contain
profanity and references to gay sex. If this offends you, please leave and
find something more suitable to read. The author maintains all rights to
the story. Do not copy or use without written permission. Write Ron at
ronyx@themustardjar.com with your comments. Ronyx is a prolific Nifty
writer.



Brittle as a Bird     Chapter 20



"This is breathtaking," said Allen. We were standing on the shore of
Sullivan Lake. I was behind him, as the setting sun silhouetted his naked
body. I don't think I'd ever seen anything so beautiful.

I walked up and put my arms around him and caressed his soft skin. He had
put on weight over the past few months, and his body was firm and lean. He
looked now as I imagined him in high school.

"Mmmm," he purred, as he pushed himself against my rapidly growing
cock. We'd made love twice, but I was ready to go again. I reached down and
grabbed his hard cock in my hand and stroked it.

"I love you," I whispered in his ear. He turned and our erections pressed
against each other as we kissed. He led me over to the blanket and we lay
down, him on top of me.

"I never thought I could ever feel this way," he said as he kissed me
again.

We had spent the past two hours making love. Our bodies had melted into
each other and we had shared a love that had been repressed for years. When
he entered me for the first time, tears of joy ran down my cheeks as I
thrust my body against his, wanting more. When he pulled out I immediately
missed his closeness and the togetherness we shared.

For months I had been afraid that when we made love our feelings would be
diminished because of his health. But in fact it made it greater. I think
because we weren't having sex with wild abandon and we did have to be safe,
it made us go slower, thereby intensifying our feelings.

After slowly stripping me, he had roamed over my body slowly with his
tongue. There wasn't a part of me he didn't explore. It was something I'd
never experienced. Before, my main motive had been to get a guy off,
collect my money and go home. With Allen, however, I wanted the feeling to
last forever.

We touched, kissed, and licked each other's body for an hour. I was
literally begging him when he finally rolled a condom over his cock and
penetrated me. When he pulled out and came on my chest, it only took about
five strokes of his hand before our cum was mingled together. Afterwards,
we lay back and looked skyward, as we came down from our emotional high.

After resting, we ran to the lake and played together as little kids. I
kept grabbing him and pulling him into the water. It wasn't a playfulness,
but a need. I wanted my arms around him. I needed to feel his warmth and
express my love for him.

When we had rested, he led me back to the blanket and then I made love to
him. Again, being careful, we entwined our bodies as I entered him. He
whimpered and moaned as I thrust into him. I literally saw stars when I
later erupted on his chest.

"God, Joey," he muttered as he straddled me. He leaned in and kissed me. I
grabbed his cock and began to slowly stroke him. He threw his head back and
moaned. Minutes later he shot another small load onto my chest.

"Come on." I grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. We ran together
and jumped into the lake to wash ourselves off. It was now that we were
standing side by side watching the setting sun.

"I wish today never had to end," I said. He turned and looked at me.

"I was just thinking the same thing," he replied. "This has been the best
day of my life." He took my hand and squeezed it. We returned to the
blanket and sat naked as the sun disappeared on the horizon.

We dressed and then headed for home. Home was his apartment. I had been
staying there regularly since I was working at the cleaners below his
apartment. I'd usually return a couple of days a week to Ticker's house,
but those times were becoming less frequent. Now that our love had gone to
a new level, I was looking forward to spending my evenings sharing his bed,
instead of sleeping on the sofa.

On the way home we stopped at the bridge where we had first met. Now it
seemed years ago. We looked over the side at the rapidly flowing
water. Neither of us said a word for several minutes.

Allen turned and looked at me. "This is where it all began," he said
thoughtfully. "Who knew months ago, that two lonely guys looking for a way
out would meet and fall in love?"

"Things have really changed since then," I said as I took his hand and held
it. "You told me that day to jump and I did." He looked at me with a
puzzled look. "I jumped right into your life."

"I'm glad you did." We embraced and kissed. In Allen's arms, the lapping of
the water against the banks sounded peaceful and soothing this time.

********************

'6'

"Would you hold still." Star was trying to straighten my tie. We were in
the lobby of the arena where our graduation ceremony was getting ready to
take place.

"I've never worn a tie before," I complained. "I feel like I'm being
strangled.

"You have to look good, Joey," she reminded me. "You are giving a speech."
She reached up and straightened the sashes that were draped around me,
indicating that I was a member of the National Honor Society.

Ticker walked up and whistled. "Don't you look good?" He reached out and
straightened the cap on my head. I smiled when I saw the gown he was
wearing. The largest size was only an extra large, so it was snug around
his body.

"Do you have your speech?" Star asked worriedly. I reached into my back
pants pocket and showed it to her. I had been working on it for two
weeks. For years I had envisioned giving a speech, filled with hatred,
denouncing the student body.

But the past year had been a different experience. I still wasn't popular,
but students treated me with respect. I think Gene had a lot to do with
that. Even though we weren't good friends, he did socialize with me
occasionally at school. Other students followed his lead and treated me
better. I hadn't heard the word fag once my senior year.

As if on cue, Gene walked up and put his hand on my back. "You ready,
Mr. Valedictorian?" I looked at him and gave a nervous nod.

By being valedictorian of my senior class, I received a full scholarship to
the local state college. I had been saving the money I made working, and I
was set to begin in the fall. Gene had been accepted on an athletic
scholarship to a university in another state. Star had been accepted to the
same school I was attending. Ticker had applied, but he still hadn't
received a confirmation. I kept trying to tell him not to worry, but he was
afraid if he didn't get accepted, then he and Star would have to attend
different schools.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, please line up." Mr. Walters was running around
nervously trying to get everyone in their proper line. Since I was
valedictorian I was to lead the others into the arena.

"Good luck," said Star as she tiptoed to kiss me on my cheek. Ticker and
Gene reached out and shook my hand.

"Show time," I laughed nervously.

Mr. Walters walked over and pulled me out of line. "Can I talk to you for
just a second?" He led me about ten feet away from the other students.

"I may not have time to tell you later," he said as he stood before
me. "I've never had a student I have been more proud of. There was a time
when I was afraid I wouldn't see you standing there in line." Both of us
were blinking away tears.

"But you stuck in there and tonight is your night. I really wish you all
the best that life has to offer."

I reached out and threw my arms around him. "Thanks, Mr. Walters." I
whispered in his ear. "Thanks for being there for me." He squeezed me
tightly, and then I walked back and took my place in line just as the first
bars of Pomp and Circumstance began to play.

I was nervous as I approached the podium. Mr. Walters had announced me with
a glowing introduction. It surprised me when my classmates stood and
applauded. I became overcome with emotion when I looked into the stands and
saw Allen sitting beside his mother. He was smiling down so proudly at
me. Tears filled my eyes when he gave me a thumb's up.

Since we had rehearsed the graduation exercises several times, I was able
to easily find Ticker and Star. Whenever I needed encouragement to
continue, I'd look down at them for the strength I needed.

"As we stand here looking down the road to a new beginning, let us not
forget the roads we've already traveled. Nor let us ever forget the people
who walked beside us on the journey to where we are today."

As I was completing my speech, I was looking around the filled
arena. Suddenly, a lone figure captured my eyes. I squinted to make out the
figure. It was my mother! She had attended my graduation.

Choked with emotion, I was able to conclude my speech and returned to my
seat; once there I broke down in tears. A girl to my left put her arm
around me and held me as I cried. I had regained my composure by the time
my name was called to receive my diploma. When Dr. Hatfield placed it in my
hands, I held it up and waved it for my mother to see. I watched as she
wiped tears from her eyes.

After the recessional, I left the lobby without talking to anyone and ran
to the bleachers, looking around for my mother. I finally saw here just
before she was ready to exit the doors.

"Mother!" I shouted. I saw her body tense when she heard me call her
name. She turned and looked down as I approached.

"I'm glad you came," I said softly. She looked up at me with a tear-stained
face. She stiffened when I leaned forward and hugged her. She kept her arms
to her side.

She looked up at me as tears began to roll down her face. "I'm proud of
you, Joey."

She opened her purse and fumbled around inside. She pulled out an envelope
and handed it to me. "I was hoping I could give you this."

I started to open it, but she stopped me. "Open it later. I have to
leave. Your father doesn't know I'm here." She touched my arm gently and
then disappeared through the door.

I put the envelope in my pocket and returned to the lobby to find Ticker
and Star. Allen's parents had reserved a table at a very expensive
restaurant for a post-graduation celebration.

Later, alone in Ticker's room, I opened the envelope. It contained a debit
card to a savings account in a local bank. My mother had written me a note,
again telling me how proud she was of me. She said she'd been saving small
amounts since I was five, and she had deposited the money periodically in a
savings account in my name. She wanted me to use the money for my college
education. The account contained $13,367.

**********************

'35'

The Epilogue

"Happy Birthday, Mr. Carpenter, Happy Birthday to you!"

Twenty two smiling fifth graders were standing around me singing very
off-key. In front of me was a large cake with my name on it. Instead of
placing thirty-five candles on the cake, they had one large candle- a big
yellow Mickey Mouse figure.

"Blow it out and make a wish," one of the students shouted. They giggled
when I sucked in a breath of air and held it for as long as I could before
finally blowing out the candle.

"What did you wish for?" Another student asked.

"If I tell you, it won't come true." I responded.

"Here, Mr. Carpenter." Angela, one of my students, walked up with a present
hidden behind her back. "Open it up. It's from all of us."

I couldn't help but smile from the anxious looks on their faces. To add to
the excitement, I took longer than usual opening the gift. They had given
me a coffee mug that read, "World's Best Teacher."

"Thank you," I said appreciatively. "Now I have to go out and buy glasses
that say, "World's Best Students." They grinned and giggled.

"Cake and ice cream," yelled one of my student's mother. She winked at me
when the students ran over to the table and grabbed a plate and starting
devouring the cake.

"Thanks. Now I'll have to handle twenty-two kids on a sugar high all
afternoon," I laughed.

"If anyone can handle it, you can," she replied.

After eating, I dismissed them to go to the playground for recess. One of
my colleagues had agreed to supervise them while I took a break. She said
it was my birthday gift from her. Of course, I had to promise to do the
same when her birthday rolled around in a couple of months.

I walked over to the table and looked down at the remaining slices of
cake. I turned the gold band on my finger as I thought back to when I had
my first birthday party at Ticker's house when I was eighteen. My world had
changed a lot since that time so long ago.

I lost Allen two years ago. He got sick with the flu and ended up in the
hospital. He developed pneumonia and he was put on a respirator. Years
earlier, we had drawn up living wills, and it was his wish to die
peacefully at our home if that moment ever came. I was holding his hand
when he took his last breath.

His father visited him about three days before he died. It surprised me
when he walked into the bedroom and looked sadly down at Allen. Allen
looked up and forced a weak smile. I quietly left the room. When I returned
later, his father was sitting on the bed rocking Allen in his arms. He
never again left his side. After Allen died, Mr. Albright got up, walked
over to the window and opened it. He then turned and came over to me,
clutching me in his arms as we cried together.

Allen defined who I am today. His love and overwhelming support made me the
man I became. Looking back, I wouldn't change anything. I guess because we
both knew that our time together was limited, we lived each day fully,
never wasting a precious moment.

Ticker and Star tell me it's time to move on, but I'm not ready for that
yet. Allen was my life for fifteen years, and his love is wrapped tightly
around my heart. I want it to stay there, at least for a little while
longer. I know I'll probably love again some day, but to do that means I'll
lose a part of Allen. Right now I'm not ready to let him go.

I cry myself to sleep each night, but they are not tears of sadness. They
are tears of joy. I'm glad I had the chance to love, to experience a life
with Allen, as brief as it may have been. I may love again, but I'll never
love as deeply.

Allen is still with me. I know it each time I look into the sky and see all
the stars at night. He's the warmth I feel on a sunny day, and the chill on
a cold, winter night. He's the smile on a stranger's face, and in the
giggle of one of my students. He taught me how to feel life and make the
most of each day.

Because of that love, I can get up each day and face life without him. I
know he would want me to. So when I return the smile to a stranger, I share
it with him. When I am amused by a child's giggle, he's there with me,
smiling as well. Allen will always be a part of me.

Ticker and Star married three years after graduation. They were going to
wait until they finished college, but they couldn't bear being apart for so
long. I was the best man at their wedding. The big lug dressed up nicely. I
cried when Star walked down the aisle holding her father's arm. I don't
think I'd ever seen anything more beautiful.

I am the godfather to their two children. They have a nine year old
daughter named JoEllen. Her name is a combination of mine and Allen's
name. She is beautiful like her mother, but then again I'm prejudiced. She
calls me Uncle Joey. They have a seven year old son named Jeffrey. After
all the years I'd known him, I didn't know that was Ticker's middle
name. Star wanted to name him Albert, Ticker's actual first name; but
Ticker said he'd always hated his name and he didn't want to have his son
be stuck with a name he himself didn't like. It doesn't matter anyway,
because everyone calls him Booger. I'll let you figure that one out.

Ticker is also a teacher.. He teaches English at the same high school we
attended. He's put on even more weight since then, so the kids have
affectionately named him Giant. He loves teaching, but kids today are more
difficult than when we were in school. He comes home exhausted most nights.

Star works for an interior design company. She majored in computer
programming, but after a few jobs that she found boring, she ended up doing
something she really enjoyed. She helped decorate our home. She and Allen
conspired and kidded me about having a pink living room. At first I threw a
fit until they started laughing. She ended up giving us a pink flamingo
figurine which we put on a table in the foyer. It is the first thing people
see when they enter our home.

I attended the local state college and decided to get a degree in
elementary education. I think that day I helped Ticker with his math and he
said I'd make a good teacher made me realize that was what I really wanted
to do. I had received a master's degree in school administration and was
working on my doctorate when Allen died. Everyone was trying to convince me
to go back and continue my education, but I really wanted to remain in the
classroom. I felt it was where I was needed.

Gene went to California to play college football. He did very well; he was
scouted by a couple of professional teams, but he was never drafted.
Instead, he stayed there and married a girl he met while attending college.
Today, he works for a pharmaceutical company as a district manager. It
allows him to do a great deal of traveling.

We usually see him and his wife, Tina, at Christmas each year. On a few of
those visits, he stayed at our home. They have no children, although it was
obvious Tina wants a family. Allen told me once he didn't want children
because he didn't want to bring them into a bad situation. He never
explained what he meant by it, but I'm sure I understood.

He still looks remarkably handsome. It was as if time didn't affect
him. But inwardly he seems hollow. I look into his blue eyes and I see the
reflection of sadness. He has everything a man could want, yet he appears
to have nothing. His life has become an empty shell, and he seems resigned
to accepting it.

He flew back for Allen's funeral and stayed with me. We sat up all night
talking. He told me he was envious of what Allen and I had shared. After
talking with him, I realized he'd locked his heart away and denied himself
love and happiness. I felt pity for him, realizing he got up each day and
did what was expected of him. He had lived his entire life like that, and
he had resolved to continue doing so. It seems like such a tragedy. He
still calls occasionally, but our conversations usually depress me. I hope
that someday he'll be able to live happily, but I don't think he will.

"Watcha doing, Mr. Carpenter?" Eddie interrupted me from my thoughts when
he came bounding in the room and looked up at me. I smiled when he reached
out and ran his finger along the cake pan, scooped up the left over icing
and licked it clean.

Eddie had been an introverted student who I took under my wing the first
day of school. He was rather small, and he was an easy target for the
larger boys. With his long brown hair that covered his forehead and the
big, beautiful brown eyes, he was rather effeminate in his appearance.

At the beginning of the school year, he sat in the back of the room and
isolated himself from the other students. When I'd look back at his little
body sitting drooped over in his seat, he reminded me of another boy who
twenty-four years earlier had shut himself off from the world. Slowly, I
tried to include him in our classroom activities, and I was able after
several weeks to gain his trust.

His trust was cemented the day I saw a larger boy push him into a wall and
call him a fag. Without mentioning names, I spent an hour that afternoon
with my students sitting around me on the floor explaining to them about
discrimination. I explained that there were words that weren't acceptable
to call each other, and that bullying others was something I wouldn't
tolerate. At the end of the day when the other students had left, Eddie
came up to me and wrapped his small arms around my waist. He held me for a
minute, burying his head into my chest before turning and leaving out the
door.

Nothing was said, but I understood everything that wasn't said. I thought
how different my life would have been if someone had taken the time when I
was his age to stop other children from picking on me. I carefully watched
how other students treated him, and I would only interfere if I thought
someone had violated the rules I had laid down that day. Eddie had over
time, moved to the front of the class and he was one of my better
students. I know teachers are not supposed to have favorites, but I can't
resist the charms of my brown haired, brown eyed little Eddie.

"Happy Birthday, Mr. Carpenter." Eddie put his small arms around me and
gave me a hug. Suddenly he pulled back, and said, "Wait a minute. I made
you a present." He ran over to his book bag and pulled out a piece of
paper. He ran back over to me with a wide grin on his face.

"I made this for you last night," he said timidly as he handed me the
paper. "It's a birthday card." Tears fell from my cheeks when I saw what he
had drawn. It was a picture of him holding my hand as we stood before a
rainbow.

The End.

********************

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