Date: Wed, 19 Jan 2005 17:15:19 -0500
From: Cathartic Confessioner <catharticconfessioner@hotmail.com>
Subject: "Catharsis"

My first gay experience occurred when I was 19. While
working at The Gap during summer vacation after my freshman
year at Purdue, I became friends with Todd, a coworker who
had just graduated from high school.  Todd lived with his
parents in a modest home in an area of the city that some
might describe as lower middle class or even trashy.  He was
immediately impressed by my suburban, upper middle class
address.  Surprisingly, despite our disparate backgrounds,
we found ourselves to be very compatible with each other.
We were both in a place in our lives where we needed a tight
friendship.

At 19, I could be described as a handsome, sunkissed,
swimmer's build, tall, blond, friendly, funny guy, but who
was a bit of a loner with not many close friends.  I had
dated several girls in high school and college.  I had one
girlfriend I dated for a couple years.  We lost our
virginity together during our first weekend together at
college.  Sweet, pretty girl - nice fit with me - great
first love experience.  But I never had any close male
friends.  I wasn't much of a man's man - not into contact
sports, binge drinking, or objectifying women. Actually,
loner that I was, I didn't really have any friends outside
of my relationship with my girlfriend, and my friendship
with her friends by association.  So, I was pretty primed
when Todd came along.

Todd was a young 18.  I guess you do a lot of growing up
your first year away at college.  So, from my perspective, I
thought Todd was kind of immature.  But, he was so outgoing
and funny, I couldn't help but be attracted to him as a
potential friend.  Todd was a big fish from a little pond
former homecoming and prom king, very social, was known by
everyone in his small high school, with an eclectic, wide
group of friends.  Maybe that attracted me to him too.  Todd
was about my height and build, with dark hair, and those
cheeks that flush up easily like Rob Lowe's.  He was
attractive, gregarious, and fun.

Up to that point in my life, I had never seriously
considered getting myself in a situation where I might have
a sexual encounter with another guy.  Looking back now,
though, I see many little signs that suggested I might have
been directed towards the more gay side of the scale - like
fucking around with my mom's vibrator when I was a kid, or
taking note of the writings on public restroom stall walls
where guys were looking for blow jobs.

Anyway, Todd came along, my girlfriend was away for the
summer working on an internship, I had no friends of my own,
and he was making an effort to be friends.  So, one day I
invited him over to my house after work to enjoy a relaxing
swim in my family's pool.  It didn't take him but a second
to accept the invitation.  He was practically peeing his
pants, he was so excited.

So, after a long day at The Gap, servicing the needs of the
billions of back-to-school shoppers, Todd and I left work
and headed to my house.  As soon as we arrived, we slipped
into our swim suits, popped open a couple beers, and headed
out to the pool.  I had been a diver and swimmer in high
school, so I have a pretty graceful presence in the water.
Todd wasn't uncomfortable or out of place in the water, but
I don't think my diving and gliding through the water went
unnoticed.  We didn't get into any rough-housing in the
water - no touchy, feely just a couple young guys enjoying a
cool dip on a hot summer day.

My parents were conveniently out of town for the weekend, so
I invited Todd to stay for dinner and more drinking - still
no hidden agenda here - just enjoying having a bud to hang
out with.  Well, one thing led to another, and five or six
hours later, after polishing off a case of beer, we're
playing strip poker. Okay, two guys alone, blitzed, playing
strip poker - I'm still clueless.  I swear I need a bat
swipe to the head sometimes to see what's going on around
me.  Final hand, loser has to run around the pool naked.
Still clueless - we both end up running around the pool
naked. Honestly, despite all of this fun activity, which to
those with acute gaydar would be clearly construed as
foreplay, I still didn't know what we were setting ourselves
up for.

After our sprint around the pool, and having finished off
all of the beer, we were ready to crash.  It was too late,
and Todd was too wasted to drive home, so I invited him to
spend the night.  Despite the number of empty beds and
couches throughout the house, somehow Todd ended up sharing
my bed.  Wearing only our underwear, we climbed into bed and
turned out the lights.

Laying in bed next to Todd, I felt a strong sense of peace
and comfort.  I just had this fun afternoon of male bonding
and felt like I had the makings of a real friendship with
someone who could be my very own friend rather than a friend
by association.  As we lay there, settling into comfortable
positions, relaxing our breathing, awaiting sleep to envelop
us, Todd's foot brushed lightly against my leg. Ding!  I
felt like one of Pavlov's dogs. Suddenly, my day of
heterosexual male bonding switched to something else.  I
felt my heart rate increase, the hair on my legs stand up,
and a slight tingling in my groin.  But I didn't move my
leg.

Maybe he was already drifting off to sleep. Maybe the leg
brush was unconscious.  Still, I didn't move.  Next, I felt
Todd shift position, and then his leg was resting against
mine.  Okay, something is definitely going on here (Ya
Think!).  Where is that baseball bat when I need it?

I decided to test the situation.  Feigning sleep, I shifted
my position and rubbed my leg against Todd's.  To this day,
feeling a guy's hairy leg rub against my hairy leg is one of
the hottest, most arousing ways to get me excited.  The next
few minutes were filled with subtle position changes by both
of us until we ultimately found ourselves with legs
intertwined, laying on our sides, facing each other just
inches separating us.  Todd moved his arm and placed his
hand next to mine in between us.  I moved my hand closer to
his so that the edges of our hands touched.  Todd covered my
hand in his and we pulled closer to each other until our
faces were only a breath apart.

Todd slid his hand up my arm and rubbed the hairs to
attention.  I boldly placed my hand on his waist and slid my
hand around to the small of his back.  We moved in closer
still, feeling our hot breath wash our faces, until our lips
met.  Softly kissing each other at first as we continued
rubbing legs, embracing, feeling for the first time my cock
pressing against another guy's cock.

I had always been a great kisser - very passionate, very
demonstrative, soft full lips, with a dexterous, probing,
not-too-shy tongue.  But when Todd and I kissed, it was
nothing like I experienced before.  Kissing another guy is
nothing like kissing a girl.  There's a heat and passion
there when too guys on equal footing exchange a deep, erotic
kiss.  Kissing Todd in my bed for the first time that night,
wearing nothing but our underwear, feeling our bodies
pressed together, embracing, was the hottest sexual
experience of my life to that date despite the number of
sexual encounters I had already had with former girlfriends.

Our kisses became more heated.  Our hands roamed freely over
our bodies, uninhibited, grazing over all of our erogenous
zones.  Hell, we were one big erogenous zone.  I pulled Todd
on top of me and squeezed his ass while he plowed his tongue
deep into my mouth.  I pressed my pelvis into his, rubbing
our hard cocks together as our pre-cum wet our briefs.

I reached under the waistband of Todd's briefs and pushed
them down over his bubble-shaped ass - running my hands over
the bare skin of his ass.  He raised his pelvis off of me
long enough to allow his underwear to come off and free his
young, rock-hard, 8-inch, cut cock.  We flipped over so I
was on top and Todd pushed my briefs down as well so my
matching 8-inch dick could join his.  Now, nothing separated
us from each other.  We were both totally into
what we were doing, lost in the pleasure of this heated
experience, sharing the freedom of our nakedness and
passion.

We continued our heavy kissing and body contact, grinding
our groins together, feeling the soft, warm, smooth skin of
our rigid dicks rubbing together, building a fire in our
groins like never before.  The wetness of our sweat and
precum was the only thing that prevented us from rubbing
each other raw and causing friction burns.

I never felt so rock hard before.  I felt my cock throb and
pulsate as Todd's did the same against mine.  Our heavy
breath, deep strong kissing, roving massaging hands, dueling
cocks, and enveloping embraces built our fire to an inferno
of passion, sweat, and primal, carnal desire.  We were fast
approaching the point at which we would abandon ourselves to
each other's climax - not caring how loud we were or how
much we were giving into our desires.

I felt my balls tighten up and my deep insides tingle with
that indescribable feeling signaling release.  Our kissing,
grinding, and groping reached a feverish pitch.  I know Todd
could feel my climax building as I felt his.  I pressed my
cock hard against his as we rubbed our bodies up and down
against each other, building my inner tension and restraint
to my limit.  And then I released.  While still bound
together by our embrace, I shot load after load of my hot
cum onto his belly, his groin, and his rigid, throbbing
dick, creating a new sensation of slick lubrication between
us.  That was all Todd needed to send him over the edge and
he spurted his creamy load so that it mixed with mine
between us.  It seemed like we were both cumming forever
jolts of electricity shook our bodies as we spent the last
of our loads - all the while, still kissing and touching all
over, and embracing as if we had never had someone to hold
before.

We lay together, panting, totally spent, and at peace for
the pleasure we gave each other and found in each other.  We
fell asleep in each other's arms and slept more deeply and
soundly together that night than ever before.

This was my first gay experience.  Todd and I were best
friends for several years after that as we explored our
sexuality together.  I wouldn't say we were in love with
each other, but we were two hot, young, 6-feet tall,
handsome guys packing 8-inches each, who discovered the fun
of having sex together, and later, having others join in on
our fun.

More about Todd's and my escapades and my other sordid
experiences to date later if you're interested.  Send me a
message and let me know what you think.