Date: Tue, 10 Apr 2012 09:12:04 -0400
From: Morris Henderson <bigmoh@post.com>
Subject: Caution_and_Courage_Part_8_of_8

CAUTION AND COURAGE

PART EIGHT

After two days of deliberation and frequent discussions with
Billy, Will made up his mind. "I'm going to visit my parents," he
said in an unusually casual way.

"GOOD!" Billy exclaimed. "I betcha decided to tolerate yur
daddy's criticisms, too."

"No. I'm going to do three things. One, I'm going to tell him ...
not ask him ... to lay off the criticism and insults. Two, I'm going
to tell him that I love him. That second part is because you've
opened my eyes to the possibility that he loves me but his pride
or whatever hasn't let him show it. He'll probably be surprised
that I stood up to his verbal abuse but I suspect he'll be
rendered speechless to hear me say I love him."

"I s'pose yur right on both counts. But ya said ya'd do three
things. What's the third?"

"I'd appreciate your help on that one, Billy. If you're willing and
can get a few days off work I'd like you to come with me. One
reason is that he would be more likely to control his temper in
the presence of a stranger. Another reason is that I want my
whole family to meet my life partner. And yes, that means I'm
going to tell them that we're gay and plan to live as a couple."

"WOAH!," Billy interrupted. "I'm not so sure `bout that. Based
on whatcha been tellin' me `bout yur daddy, he ain't gonna like
ya pickin' a country hick from Miss'ippi for a partner. I'm thinkin'
it'd just make `im madder for not pickin' a friend that's more like
he thinks ya oughta have. On top o' learning yur gay, it'd be a
real kick in the butt for `im."

"First of all, you are NOT a country hick. You've got more
smarts than you give yourself credit for. And if he dares to
challenge me on that count, I'm ready to set him straight. He
may have difficulty seeing past your Southern accent but it's
important that he meets the new member of the family. This is
speculation but I think his first reaction -- shock, disapproval, or
even anger -- will fade over time. A much longer time than it
took your father but I think ... I hope ... he will mellow as time
goes by. So, are you willing to come with me and help me with
my plan?"

Billy scrunched up his face in deep thought and finally said, "Ya
told me once `part' is the most important part of `partner'. That
means we stick together through thick and thin. If'n ya want me
by yur side, I'll be there for ya. `Course I gotta see if'n I can get
vacation time at work but that'll be no problem `cause I been
there for more than a year and the Union contract says I get a
week's vacation. When ya wanna go?"

"My mother's birthday is in five weeks. I thought I'd write to my
sister and tell her I want to surprise Mother for her birthday."

"That'll be a surprise, shore nuff!" Billy said. "Even bigger if'n I
tag `long with ya. Maybe ya better warn yur sister there'll be two
of us."

"More proof," Will exclaimed, "that you have superior `people
smarts' along with your uncommonly good sense. I'll tell her
more than that we're both coming. I'll tell her on the way from
the airport to the house that we're gay and partners."

"Is that such a good idea?" Billy asked.

"I think so. She's not at all like my father. Remember when I
told you about working in the soup kitchen because Dad wanted
me to see what `welfare leeches' were really like? Well, she
thought he was totally misguided and she seemed interested in
hearing my stories of the good folks who had to get their meals
in a soup kitchen. She's not as liberal as I am but I'm sure she'll
be okay with having a gay brother."

Will's letter to his sister went through several drafts until he and
Billy agreed on appropriate wording that included a strong
suggestion of their true relationship. Carolyn would, they were
sure, deduce the meaning but on the minimal chance that her
parents saw it, they would never suspect:

"...My good friend, Billy Simpson will come
with me. I hope you don't mind. He's an
important part of my life...."

<><><><><>

Will's sister, Carolyn, met Will and Billy in the baggage claim
area of JFK airport just past noon on a Saturday. She was, as
Will had predicted, very pleased to see her brother and was
very cordial to Billy. On the drive to her apartment the
conversation was carried mostly by her and Will in the front
seat. Eventually, however, she could not resist confirming what
she thought was the implication in Will's letter. "Hey, Will. Help
me out. You said in your letter that Billy is an important part of
your life. Does that mean what I think it means?"

Teasing his sister, Will replied with a grin, "Since I don't know
what you think it means, I can't answer your question."

Exasperated, Carolyn snapped, "Okay, smart ass! What does it
mean?"

Will learned long ago there was a limit to how much he could
tease his big sister. Her sharp comment signaled the limit had
been reached. "The short answer is that we're gay and
committed life partners. The long answer is that we love each
other. That love took root when we were in Basic Training and
flourished. It's the reason we were discharged from the Navy ...
not because we DID anything while on duty but just because
we're gay. Since that time, in Ann Arbor, our love has grown
stronger. New here's a question for you, Sis. How do you feel
about having a queer brother?"

The long pause before she answered disturbed both Billy and
Will but she replied, "I can't say I'm totally surprised. I
wondered about you when you were in High School and rarely
dated any girls. But I figured it was just another of your passing
phases. How do I feel? It isn't what I'd like but I'm smart
enough to know that your happiness is what's important. So!
Congratulations to you both! May you continue to be happy
together. But you know Mom and Dad will not be pleased when
they find out. Are you going to tell them?"

"Yes," Will answered. "It's not the sort of birthday present that
I'd normally choose for Mom but Billy and I have discussed all
the options and decided they have a right to know ... even if it
upsets them. There will never be a good time to tell them so it
may as well be done and over with."

<><><><><>

Will's mother's reaction when they walked into the house was
temporarily speechless surprise. Will broke the silence by
saying, "Happy Birthday, Mom. I hope you don't mind the
surprise visit."

The response was typical of her: a sugar-coated, veiled
criticism. "How sweet of you, Willard. I wish you had told me
you were coming."

"This is my friend, Billy Simpson. We met in the Navy."

Mrs. Benson summoned her practiced charm and gushed, "I'm
very pleased to meet you, Billy,"

"And I'm pleased t' meet ya, ma'am," Billy replied. "Will's done
tol' me `bout all the good things ya done for `im growin' up."

The woman was unsuccessful in concealing her disdain for the
accent and grammar but recovered quickly and said through a
forced smile, "Would you like to sit out on the patio? It's such a
splendid day. We can chat and get to know each other."
Without waiting for an acceptance of the suggestion, she called
into the kitchen, "Angela! Bring a pitcher of ice tea and four
glasses to the patio."

They settled into luxuriously padded outdoor chairs around a
large table shaded by a massive umbrella. Billy found the view
of the swimming pool and grounds was breathtaking for the
meticulously manicured shrubbery and abundance of colorful
flower gardens. Will had told him about the sumptuous house
his family lived in but seeing it made the description seem
completely inadequate.

"We're having a few friends in tonight after dinner. Jeffrey,
that's my husband, insisted on celebrating my birthday. It's
actually not until Monday but you know how hectic weeknights
are. You will join us, won't you?"

Will knew that "a few friends" meant a houseful of stuffed shirts,
many of whom had trophy wives who would not-so-subtly be
showing off their gowns, jewelry, and fleshy assets.
Consequently, he was prepared with what he hoped would be a
gentle way of declining the invitation. "Thanks, Mom. But
neither Billy nor I brought the proper clothing for a formal party.
We just wanted to be here to help celebrate your birthday.
Perhaps we can do that over dinner before your party."

Another mother might have said, "Nonsense! It's you that's
important, not the clothes you wear." Instead, she said, "That's
a pity. Maybe another time."

Only Will and Carolyn recognized their mother's response was
one of relief. Billy surely didn't.

Angela brought the ice tea and a tray of hors d'oeuvres -- tiny
cucumber sandwiches and some sort of vegetable bits that even
Billy with his farm background couldn't recognize. Without
saying `Thank you,' Mrs. Benson said to the housekeeper, "We
will be five for dinner tonight."

Will asked, "Will Dad be here for dinner?"

"Yes," his mother replied. "He's golfing with clients at the
moment. Or perhaps in the clubhouse having a few drinks. But
he promised to be home for dinner. You know how it is.
Working when you're playing." She chuckled at her own weak
joke; the others--out of politeness only--laughed. "My goodness,
she gushed. We're being rude, Billy. We haven't let you say
anything. Tell me about yourself."

"Ain't much to say, ma'am. Ya can tell from my accent I'm from
Miss'ippi. Grew up on a farm `till my folks moved to Detroit.
Wasn't there long, though `cause I joined the Navy." Will had
briefed his lover on tactics to deal with his parents so Billy
transitioned quickly. "That was a great experience, it was. The
Basic Trainin' was no fun but I learned a lot. That's where I met
Will. And bein' at sea was an adventure. We even crossed the
equator. Out in the middle of the Pacific. Funny thing is, we
lost a whole day crossin' the date line but got it back when we
sailed back home."

Continuing her probe into Billy's background (or, one might say
cynically and accurately), his worthiness to be her son's friend,
she asked, "Your family lives in Detroit?"

"Yes, ma'am." Billy was reluctant to say more. He was proud of
his family's loving nature and ethics but he was unwilling to
divulge details because they contrasted so sharply with the
Benson's affluence. He was grateful that the undisguised
interrogation was interrupted by Mr. Benson walking out of the
house.

"WILL!" he exclaimed. "I didn't expect you to be here."

"Hello, Father," Will said as he stood to shake hands. "I thought
I would surprise Mom for her birthday."

"And a surprise it is!" the man said. "I've wondered why you
didn't come home after leaving the Navy. In fact, I've wondered
why you left the Navy. I sincerely hope it wasn't a disciplinary
move. You never really explained it in your letters as I expected
you would. And I see you've brought another unexpected
guest."

Will Ignored the subtle chastisement behind his father's greeting
but couldn't resist giving a retort. "Good to see you, too,
Father." Will paused just long enough for the sarcasm to
register and then said, "I'd like you to meet my friend, Billy
Simpson. We met in Basic Training and were shipmates on a
couple of trips to Vietnam."

Billy stood, extended a hand to shake hands with Mr. Benson
(The gesture was rudely ignored.), and said, "Mighty pleased to
meetcha, Sir. I'm hopin' ya don't mind my taggin' along with Will
here."

"Not at all," the man lied. Turning to his wife, he continued,
"Can I see you inside a moment?" Addressing Will, he said,
"We won't be long."

"Take your time," Will said. "Billy and I will get our things from
the car."

"Right!" Mr. Benson said. "Put your belongings in your old
bedroom. Your friend" (pointedly not using Billy's name) "can
use the guest room. Show him where it is." That last sentence
was delivered more like an order than a suggestion.


Having deposited their luggage in separate bedrooms, Will went
to the guest room and said, "Just about what I expected.
Neither one of them said they were glad to see me. Both of
them acted as if I'm intruding into their lives."

"I'm thinkin' yur maybe puttin' too much interpretation on it.
That's just the way they is. Or at least whatcha told me `bout
`em. I figure it went purty well. A big sight better `n when ya
break the big news to `em."

"Because I trust your judgment, Billy, I'll concede that my
perception might be a little off base. Maybe my memories of
criticism and disapproval are warping my thinking. I'll try to
keep your counsel in mind."

"Have ya decided when yur gonna tell `em `bout us?

"Certainly not tonight ... what with their party and all. Maybe
tomorrow. It used to be their habit to go out for brunch after
church. If we're invited -- and I'm sure we will be -- I might tell
them in the restaurant. Neither of them will dare make a scene
in public. The tirade will come when we get home but perhaps
the shock will have worn off somewhat by then."

<><><><><>

The brunch at a posh restaurant was delicious but neither
Will nor Billy could fully enjoy the meal because they were
preoccupied with the looming prospect of breaking the news to
Will's parents who would undoubtedly be shocked and saddened.
Billy's anxiety was particularly high because he had never been
in such elegant surroundings for a meal. He participated very
little in the conversation for reasons beyond his nervousness.
He didn't want to embarrass himself or disappoint his lover by
saying something he feared would be stupid. His silence,
however, didn't seem to bother anyone else at the table.
Will's parents made absolutely no effort to include "the
stranger" in table talk.

Having eaten, they were enjoying a final cup of coffee when
Will said, "Thank you, Father, for a delicious meal. I also want
to thank you for something else. I know I haven't always lived
up to your expectations but I'm grateful for all you've done for
me and provided to me as I grew up. I love you for that."

Most fathers would reply with some variant of "I love you, too,
Son." But the man looked perplexed and merely took another
sip of coffee. Will anticipated his father's reaction and decided
to press the point. "I love both of you. I hope you never doubt
my love for you."

Mrs. Benson mustered the courtesy (It was impossible to tell if it
was a sincere expression of feeling.) to say, "That's most kind of
you to say that, Willard." Again, however, there was no reciprocity; she didn't say

she loved her son. Will had hoped she
would but reasoned that her omission was just a symptom of
habitual emotionlessness.

Will carried on with his plan. "It's because I love you that I want
to be completely honest. You deserve nothing less. The fact of
the matter is that Billy is more than a good friend. Much more. I love him deeply

and he loves me. We've decided that we're going to live together as partners."

The shock and dismay quickly became obvious in his parent's
faces. His father found his voice and asked, "What the hell does
that mean?"

"It means we love each other just as a husband and wife love
each other. It means we're gay. And we're committed to be
loving partners for the rest of our lives."

Mr. Benson leaned across the table to confront Will as closely as
possible and spat out, "No son of mine is going to be a goddamn
queer. There are places that will cure you of that disgusting
sickness. You're going to get therapy, young man!"

"It's NOT a sickness!" Will said assertively. "It's what I am. No
prayers or therapy can change that. I'm gay. I didn't CHOOSE
to be gay but I am. Just like thousands of other men. Some of
them -- to escape vicious bigotry and persecution -- never reveal
what they are. If I made any CHOICE in the matter it was to be
honest with myself and with others ... especially the family that I
love. Send me to therapy? It won't happen! I'm a grown man now
and not the child that you can control with your commands. There
was a time when that may have been appropriate but no longer. Not
even using your network to influence the Commandant of Great
Lakes and the Captain of the Brighton." (The man flinched but did
not deny his meddling.) "I'm an adult! As an adult I will lead my
own life that, by the way, includes gratitude and love for my arents."

"Listen here!" the man growled.

But Will interrupted and said, "I'll listen if you will. Did you hear
what I said? I'm gay. Nothing can change that. And I love you."

His father said nothing but scowled. His mother said, "If you love
us, how can you do this to us? Can you even imagine the shame
we'll endure in the community?"

"I'm telling you BECAUSE I love you and you deserve the truth.
Your `community' need never know. Unless you tell them. And
I'm certain you won't because it will damage your reputation."

Mrs. Benson then said, "If you will excuse me, I need to freshen up."
She walked hurriedly toward the ladies room.

Carolyn said, "I'd better go with her and talk to her."

In the restroom, Mrs. Benson was close to tears. Nothing Carolyn
said seemed to ease her mother's humiliation or her fretting over
being known as the mother of a queer son. Annoyed by her mother's
self-centeredness, Carolyn said, "He's your son, Mom! Can't you
see that he loves you? Can't you love him in return? Must you be
obsessed with your own reputation? I think you should go back and
tell him you disapprove but love him just the same." Completely
exasperated, Carolyn walked out and returned to the dining area
to find Will and Billy alone at the table. "Where's Dad?" she asked.

"He left to pay the bill. He said he would be waiting in the car."

"Is that all he said? No more condemnation for being gay? Certainly
not any words of support or wishes for your happiness."

There was a very awkward silence on the drive home. Mr. Benson
was uncharacteristically quiet but fuming over his son's ssertiveness
and depravity. His anger gradually amplified as he thought of his
son's `rebellion' and moral rot. He vowed to himself to `fix' both
problems. Mrs. Benson was consumed by self-pity. Her treasured
standing as a paragon of social virtue was jeopardized. (She failed to
recognize that her involvement on the Boards of Social Service
Charities was motivated by an insatiable appetite to be recognized
rather than helping those in need. She was also oblivious to her
compulsive drive to be respected as a leader of the high society
elite rather than showing genuine friendship to others.) Will's
thoughts focused primarily on regret over upsetting his parents
but knew that he had to say what he did if only to be honest and to
overcome the oppressive domination by his father. Yet another
regret was asking his lover to endure the traumatic confrontation
with his parents. He also worried about the barrage of abuse he
was sure to receive when they were no longer in public. Billy's
thoughts were sympathy for his lover and gratitude that his own
parents had received the news far more humanely. Carolyn's
distress was out of concern for Will first but also her parents.
She was also examining her own life and values, which reinforced
her resolve not to be a clone of her self-absorbed mother or her
dogmatic and bigoted father.

Upon entering the house, Mr. Benson jabbed Will on the chest with
his finger and said, "I want to see you in my den. NOW." He
stormed off.

"Are you still with me?" Will asked Billy plaintively.

"We's partners. Right?"

The two lovers walked into the den only to be greeted with a
snarling, "I wanted to see YOU, Willard! Not your fag buddy!"

"Billy stays," Will asserted. "He's very much a part of me. If he
leaves, so do I."

"Jesus Christ, Willard! What the fuck's gotten into you? Are you
maliciously trying to torment me? It's bad enough you think you're
queer. Now you have the balls to disobey me!"

"First of all, Father, I don't THINK I'm gay. I KNOW it. I've
known it for years. Secondly, I'm not trying to torment you. I'm
just being honest with you ... because I love you. Honesty is a
virtue, is it not? At least give me credit for that. Not that you've
ever given me credit for anything I've done. And finally, as I tried
to say earlier, I'm a grown man now and don't need an adult to tell
me what to do and what not to do. I tolerated that when I was little
but it's totally inappropriate and unnecessary now."

"You're SICK! A QUEER FAG! And this piece of shit you say
you're in love with is the cause of it all."

"Stop right there!" Will yelled. In a calmer voice he continued,
"Billy has more compassion and ethics than anyone I've ever met.
And that includes the arrogant, pampered snobs I went to school
with. He's not out to dictatorially manipulate other people; that's the
last thing he would ever do. He didn't turn me gay. I was gay long
before I met him. What he DID do was earn my love. And give me
the happiness that I've craved for a very long time. I'm truly sorry if
that doesn't meet your standards of RESPECTABLE behavior but I
cannot ... WILL not ... tolerate your demeaning his character!"

Will's defense of Billy served only to further enrage his father who
screamed, "Don't you realize that you're screwing up your life ...
your future? Why can't you see that engaging in a disgusting,
abnormal sexual relationship will preclude any chance of success? If
you aspire to success, you'll abandon the patently depraved life of a
queer. You'll choose respectable friends instead of an ignorant farm
boy."

"Ignorant?" Will exclaimed. "I've already said I won't tolerate
demeaning Billy's character. Either you weren't listening or you
don't give a damn about my feelings or his. As for success, it
depends entirely on how you define it. If success is wealth and
status, if success is USING people to achieve and maintain that
status, if success is measured by opulence and ostentation, then I
REJECT it. If, however, success is happiness, if it is compassion,
empathy, and helping others -- especially those in need -- if it's
living the Golden Rule, then it's the kind of success I will diligently
pursue."

The angry man had never been challenged so earnestly and he was
incapable of responding except by resorting to single-minded
authority. "I thought you were only sick, a queer. But it's worse
than I imagined. ALL your values are screwed up. You're fucking
crazy! And hopeless! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!"

"One more word before I leave," Will said calmly. "In spite of our
differences, I love you."

"BULL SHIT!" his father exclaimed. "The only thing you love is
some twisted notion that you have the right answers. You're
WRONG! And you'll live to regret your misguided life style. GET
OUT! NOW!"

Out on the patio with Billy, Will said, "Boy, I sure screwed this up.
I'd hoped to repair a relationship but I failed."

"I disagree," Billy said. "Ya done what ya planned doin'. Ya told
yur folks you loved `em. You told `em we's gay. And ya done it
good and proper like. Ya can't help how they reacted. And one
more thing. Ya knew it would be a shock. Ya knew they'd be mad
as wet hens. They been actin' in anger and ya can't hold it against
`em. There's still hope they'll settle down. Can't say it'll be easy or
soon but it's up t' them now. Ya was honest. Now they's gotta be
honest with their own selves."

<><><><><>

Life in the Benson household was filled with tension for the rest of
the day. Will and Billy were completely ignored and ultimately gave
up on attempts to engage the elder Bensons in conversation. The
stifling tension was relieved the next day, Monday, when Will's
father went to work and his mother spent the entire day shopping and
lunching with her friends. Will, Billy, and Carolyn had a chance to
reflect on the situation over lunch.

"Your news was probably received much as you expected," Carolyn
mused.

"Yes," agreed Will. "But I held out hope that it wouldn't be so
confrontational. I don't recall seeing Dad so angry. And Mom ...
she was a surprise ... thinking exclusively about the damage to her
reputation."

"Are you sorry you told them?" Carolyn asked.

"Yes and no. I regret upsetting them but I'm glad it's over with. I
tried to soften the blow by assuring them of my love for them. How
many times did I say that? And how many times was it ignored? I
tried to emphasize being honest but I suppose it's a classic case of
`the truth hurts.' God! It wasn't my intent to hurt them! Sure, I
knew they would be disappointed and would disapprove but I didn't
foresee the intensity of the pain and the anger. Knowing what I
know now, would I do it again? NO!"

Carolyn looked over to Billy and said, "We haven't heard from you.
What's your impression of the Benson family?"

Billy was caught off guard by the question and took a moment to
consider his answer. "Well, first off, they's prob'ly nice people. But
they's been caught up in what they reckon is the right way to think
and live. Can't argue with their success on that. Just look at this
house. And their friends. `Course if'n I can be honest, I don't cotton
to that sorta life. And I wonder how many of their friends are really
friends."

"What do you mean?" Carolyn asked.

"Back home in Miss'ippi, a friend was one who helped you out when
you's sick or in trouble. Most ever'body was like that. If'n yur
truck broke down, a neighbor would be right there to help ya fix it.
If'n the crops weren't no good one year, somebody would share
what little they had to fill yur stomach. That's what I mean by a real
friend. I ain't seen `nuff to be sure but I `spect that Will's folks
don't have no friends like that."

"I think you're more right than wrong on that score," Carolyn said.
"Let me speculate. You've got a loving family, the kind of people
you call a real friend. Do they know you're gay?

"Yup. Told `em `bout a year ago. They was upset but their love
won the day and we's getting' `long just fine now. `Course the
youngins don't know. Just my oldest brother. He's sixteen now. He
don't understand how two men can love each other but he knows it
happens sometimes. Purdy much like y'all ... not whatcha'd choose
but okay with it."

"You're indeed blessed to have such a family, Billy. And Will,
you're blessed to have a partner like Billy."

Just then the conversation was interrupted by Angela walking into
the dining room. "Is there anything else you would like?" she asked.

"No," Will smiled. "The meal was quite delicious and filling."

Angela paused before leaving, trying to decide whether to get
involved in her employer's family matters. But her affection for
Will compelled her to say, "Master Will, I couldn't help overhearing
parts of your conversation with your father yesterday. I just want
you to know that I wish you and Billy all the happiness in the
world."

She turned to leave but Will jumped up and caught her by the arm.
He gave her a big hug and said, "Angela, you don't know how much
your comment means to me." Then, using a term from his
childhood, he added, "Thanks a gazillion."

Angela grinned, giggled, and went back to the kitchen.

Will then spoke to his sister. "Billy and I have decided to return to
Ann Arbor sooner than planned. If we can change our airline
reservations, could you take us to the airport?"

"Of course. But only if you promise to stay in touch with me. I'm
disappointed that we can't spend more time together but under the
circumstances, it's probably best that you go home. I'll keep you
posted on Mom and Dad because it's not likely they will. One can
hope but one has to deal with realities."

"Thanks, Sis. I love you."

<><><><><>

Saddened and frustrated by the bitterness and hostility he had
created during his visit to his parents, Will returned with Billy to
Ann Arbor. He knew it was not likely that his parents would
receive the news of his being gay with understanding but he
hadn't expected the ferocity of his father's anger nor his mother's
obsession with losing the respect of her friends and her
unambiguous self-pity. He didn't even receive a warm greeting
when he arrived. Granted, it was a surprise but at no time during
the visit was he made to feel welcome. His repeated expressions
of love were never reciprocated, much less acknowledged. He
was left with only one conclusion: the trip was a colossal mistake.

Waiting for the return flight, they found a secluded area in the
airport terminal where they could talk privately. "I'm sorry, Billy ...
sorry for subjecting you to the firestorm at my parents' house. I
expected it to get ugly but it was much worse. I'm sorry."

"No need t' be sorry," Billy said. "Ya done told me what it'd be
like. I went along `cause ya might need support. `Sides, like ya
said, it was important that they meet me."

"I thought so at the time. But I really didn't anticipate they would
insult you so cruelly."

"It don't bother me none. Never has. When I was a little kid
my daddy told me the one `bout `sticks and stones.' He said that
mean people say bad things but I can ignore `em. Oops. I didn't
mean to say yur folks are mean. Took a while for me to believe it
but I do now. So what they said didn't hurt me none."

"Oh, but they were mean!" Will exclaimed. "I guess I got used to it
growing up when my father would constantly criticize me. So it
doesn't bother me as much now. But what they said about you
hurt me deeply. By any measure the trip was a total disaster."

"Listen up to what I got t' say, Will Benson, `cause ya need to stop
bein' so hard on yurself. First off, ya had to tell `em `bout us some
time or `nother. And it was right to tell `em in person. Second, ya
told `em ya loved `em. They needed t' hear that. So what if they
didn't say they loved ya back. That woulda been nice but ya
knew it weren't likely. Thirdly, ya didn't make no mistakes. Ya
was calm and broke the news easy like. Ya stood up to yur
daddy just like ya always wanted t' do. That took courage! And I
was proud o' ya for doin' it. Finally -- are ya listenin'? -- the
problem is not yurs. It's their's. They's successful in their own way
but they got mixed up ideas about what's honest ...and what's
really important. Can't say if'n they's happy but I got no doubt
a'tall that I am `cause we's partners."

Billy's efforts to console his lover were appreciated but did little to
lift Will out of his depression. It was two days before the bitter
taste of the visit home began to fade and another two days before
he was fully back to his normal self. Billy was patient, knowing
that it would take his lover time to heal from his emotional
wounds. By that time, both had returned to their jobs and their life
resumed.

Very late one night two weeks later, they were comfortably
relaxing in bed cuddling after an especially satisfying interlude of
loving sex. They were surprised to hear the doorbell and looked
at each other quizzically. "Who could that be at this time of
night?" Will asked.

"Only one way t' find out," Billy replied as he got out of bed. He
put on a robe and walked toward the front door of the apartment
to the accompaniment of repeated door chimes. Upon opening
the door, he saw a frail and obviously distraught young man --
about sixteen, he guessed. He wore tattered jeans and a torn
sweat shirt with dried blood stains. The long hair on one side of
his head was matted with dried blood.

"Oh, I'm sorry," the lad said. "I thought Mr. Benson lived here."

"He does that," Billy replied. "And who are you?"

Before the boy could answer, Will, now properly dressed in a
robe, came up behind Billy and exclaimed, "Justin! What are you
doing here? It's almost midnight."

Without answering, the young man pushed past Billy, wrapped his
arms around Will, buried his head in Will's shoulder, and began to
cry. Billy was only momentarily confused until he concluded,
accurately, that the troubled boy was one of Will's clients from the
Social Services Agency. Will silently comforted the unexpected
visitor until the tears subsided and then said, "Come in, Justin and
tell me what the problem is."

They sat in the living room -- Billy in an arm chair and Will and
Justin on the sofa. The distressed boy was clinging to Will and
fighting to stem the flow of tears.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Benson. I know the Agency discourages visiting
my case worker but I didn't know where else to go."

"It's all right," Will said softly. "If you're in trouble, I'm glad you
came here. Now tell me what's going on."

"Dad came home drunk. He asked me where Mom was. I said
she wasn't home. He yelled, `The whore bitch is out fucking some
scum bag, is she? I'll teach her a lesson.' He went to her
bedroom. You knew they have separate rooms since he kicked
me out of my room and made me sleep on the couch. He started
to trash everything. I tried to stop him but he screamed at me to
stay the fuck out of his way. I guess I didn't move fast enough
because he came at me with fire in his eyes. I've seen him drunk
lots of time but never this bad. He swung a table lamp at me. I
ducked but it broke across the side of my head. I'm no match for
him even when he's drunk so I ran out of the house. I waited
outside, figuring that he'd pass out and it would be safe to go
back in. Just when the commotion inside quieted down, a pickup
truck pulled into the driveway. I didn't know the driver but I saw
Mom next to him. I saw her kiss the driver and say, `It was fun.
See you again, stud.' When she got out and saw me, she starting
yelling at me for spying on her. I tried to tell her what Dad was
doing but she wasn't listening. She just kept yelling at me and
calling me names. I don't think you want to hear that part ... it
was pretty vulgar. I didn't know what to do. Both of my parents
were pissed at me. I left and walked the streets for an hour or so.
Then I remembered you saying I could call you any time. So here
I am. What can I do, Mr. Benson?"

"First of all, let me see where he hit you. I can tell it was bleeding
and we'd better take care of it."

Having cleaned the superficial cut and applied antiseptic, Will led
Justin back to the living room. Billy had gone to bed. After
extended disclosure of abuse by Justin's parents -- previously
unknown to Will -- they discussed the next steps. Will promised
to get more involved in the young man's situation but couldn't say
what the Agency might be able to do to help until he checked with
his supervisor.

"If you're not comfortable going home," Will said, "you're welcome
to stay overnight here. But quite honestly, I'm worried about your
safety if you go home."

"No," the young man said. "I've bothered you enough already."

"No bother, Justin. I'm happy to help. Of course you'll have to
sleep on the couch because I've only got one bedroom."

"If you really don't mind. And the couch is fine. That's where I
sleep at home." Justin paused before asking, "You've got only
one bedroom? Does that mean you share it with the other guy
that was here?"

"Yes. The other guy is my partner, Billy Simpson. I apologize for
not introducing you but I was more concerned about your
difficulties. And your next question is whether we're gay. The
answer is yes. We don't hide it but we don't broadcast it either.
Does that bother you?"

"No. Surprised? Sort of. I just never thought about it. I mean
you were just another case worker from the Agency. I know a
couple of gay kids at school and they're smart and friendly. So
I'm cool with it."

<><><><><>

After much bureaucratic manipulations, Justin was placed in a
foster home with an `empty nest' couple. Will maintained contact
with him and was amazed at the difference a loving home made.
No longer a frail, shy boy, Justin became a healthy, confident, and
happy young man.

Billy never tired of hearing about the dramatic change in Justin.
But was he surprised when, after a glowing report on the young
man's progress, Will said, "Success is what you want it to be."

"Whatcha mean?" Billy asked.

"For example, your family is eminently successful because
they've achieved their goal of a happy, loving family. I admire
them for their success. My parents are successful because their
priorities are affluence and social standing and they've certainly
achieved that. My most important success is finding and being able
to love you. But there's another measure of success. I'm proud of
what I've been able to do for Justin. That's my idea of success --
not just him but others like him ... helping them overcome
problems not of their making."


THE END


ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

My good friend, Iatia, added immeasurable value to this story with
his support and encouragement, his creative ideas and suggestions,
and his meticulous editing.


AUTHOR'S CHALLENGE

What you have read is prelude. Life goes on. There is obviously
more that could be told. However, I leave it to you -- if you so
choose -- to imagine the continuation of the story based on the
events thus far described and in a way most compatible with your
hopes and

fears.

<> Will and Billy: Will they continue to cultivate and cherish their
love? Or will the cultural and educational gap between them create
frictions that threaten their union?

<> Will's parents: Will they stubbornly adhere to their concept of
what's right and as a result irretrievably lose their son? Or will they
mellow with age and arrive at reconciliation?

<> Billy's parents: Will they continue to maintain the loving bonds
in their family ... even with their `wayward' son, Billy? Or will
something unexpected bring about a cleavage between them and one
or more of their children?

<> Sean, the pessimist and homophobe; Rod, the generous host and
advisor; and other minor characters: What does their future hold?

<> And finally:
- What is YOUR definition of success?
- How does one balance caution and courage?
- What is the danger of judging people by their dialect (or skin
color or sexual orientation) instead of their fundamental
character?