Date: Mon, 26 Jun 2006 14:14:54 -0700 (PDT)
From: Farrell Mc Nulty <brendanchenowith@yahoo.com>
Subject: Detectives Log - Chapter 66

  CHAPTER SIXTY-SIX - Lonely Little Lads

MIKE - When Jake burst into the house, making one last vain attempt to
shoot me-n-Eddie, he did get me pretty good - a graze to the ribs, but I
was gonna be okay, Eddie really saved the day, jumpin' on him and wailin'
the tar outta him. The last few days had been very painful for me. I
really missed my boy in my arms in our nice, soft, warm bed, his nice,
warm, firm, ripplin', rock-solid body next to mine, his nipples which I
love to lick, his torso which I love to caress, to hold, I love the
feeling of my hands on his arms, and his hands on my arms. We'd switch
back and forth, burying my head in his chest, or the other way around.
That had all been missing the last few days. I felt my boy didn't want me
anymore. I mean, he had a hot young prizefighter goin' down on him, so
what did he need me for. I did somethin' that in my life I never did
before. I walked away. I gave in. The fight with Jake just now, with
Eddie by my side, Eddie had my back, taught me somethin'. You never walk
away, you fight to the death, you let your enemy know you're not gonna
take anything lyin' down. You charge at your enemy, you look your enemy
in the eye and throw every punch you have in ya. God, I was dumb - I was
lettin' AJ win, I was lettin' all my insecurities win, I was fightin'
with Eddie when I shoulda been fightin' for him. I realized all of this
when Jake burst into the house. As Eddie might tell ya himself, when
Robin was drugged and was against Batman, he didn't fight him off, he dug
his heels in and fought for him, and he won. That's what I was gonna do.
I went right for the hall closet and dug out our bat-suits - naw, these
weren't for sale anymore - I didn't even put it up on e-Bay just yet. My
boy was gonna wear this and be back with me if it took every last breath
from my body. I want my boy back and I'm gonna get him. I was startin' to
get the suits out of the closet when I caught a glimpse over at the guest
house. I saw him cryin'. He lowered the shade on one of the windows, but
I could still see him in the other one before he lowered that shade, too.
"My God", I thought to myself, "he's all upset. I better race over there
and get him back before it's too late."

No matter what it took, the two of us were gettin' back together. I was
pretty rough on him, and I was all wrong for it, too. I'd give anything
if Eddie would just forgive me. I didn't care about catchin' him with AJ
anymore, all I knew was Batz & Robinson were gonna ride again. I swooped
into action, racing across the way. I walked into the guest house and
went straight for the bedroom. Eddie was fast asleep. Didn't matter, he
could sleep later on - next to me. It must've been pretty warm in there
because he was sleepin' in the raw on top of the sheets. Then, outta the
corner of my eye, I spotted somethin' - it was a bottle of pills. Pills?
They were knocked over, some of the pills fell onto the floor. There was
a pad of paper on the nightstand, I picked it up to see if anything was
written on it, and sure as shootin', it was a note that said, "Mike,
I....." and then nothin'.

Holy Sweet Mother of God, the kid's tryin' to off himself. What if he was
already dead? I tried to wake him up - nothin', but at least his body
still felt warm - good sign. I kissed him a few times, shoutin' his name
- come on, Eddie, wake up!

"My God, he's unconscious, he's not movin'!" I was too late - why did I
let him leave the room? Jesus Murphy I'm the stupidest guy alive, why'd I
walk away and say good night? Why'd I let him go? Why didn't I make up
with him right then and there? Why'd it take me so long to realize what I
had to do to get him back? Now you've done it, Batz. Ya killed the love
of your life. Ya happy now? Oh, so strong and proud, ain't ya - not so
right now, are ya, ya putz! What was I gonna do? I turned my back and
wept buckets. Punches, bullets, ropes, nothin'...nothin' hurt as much as
this. My boy was gone and it was all my fault.

As I sat sobbing, I heard a groan in the back. "My God, it's Eddie, he's
still alive!"

I turned around and grabbed him, shaking him awake, "come on, Eddie, come
back to me, come on, snap out of it!" I begged. He opened his eyes.

"Mike, what's...what's goin' on?"

"Oh, Eddie, I thought I lost ya there, but you're back now, you're gonna
be okay."

"I'm back? I'm gonna be okay? What're ya talkin' about?"

"These damn pills ya took! Why'd ya do it?"

"Pills? I - - "

I grabbed the empty bottle and scooped up the pills off the floor.
"These. Ya took all of these, didn't ya - just because I threw ya out.
Eddie, I had no idea you were that broken up. I'm so sorry."

Eddie started to regain his sea-legs and thought for a minute.

"Oh, gosh. No. Mike, ya got the wrong idea. Read the label."

I read what it said on the bottle. Somethin' about 1 each night. It was a
prescription, dated in April 2005.

"You takin' medication? For what? Robin never woulda..."

"Remember the universal bat-antidote, Mike. I only took one, got groggy
and knocked the bottle over after I took a sip of water. I have chronic
insomnia."

"Insomnia?"

"Yeah, I could never sleep a wink - not on my own, anyway."

"Were you takin' these all this time? I don't get it. You always slept
like a baby with me."

"Well, that's because you made me cum so hard, I always just passed out."

Oh, I had to let this one sink in. I thought for a sec and then a huge
smile came over my face and I chuckled, "I did, huh? Heh-heh, how about
that!"

"It relaxed me - that and the fact that I had my head on your warm,
sturdy hairy chest. It was better than down."

I still didn't get this insomnia thing, "how did you get insomnia? How
long have ya had it?"

"Ever since I could remember. I couldn't ever get to sleep, even when I
was a kid. I couldn't sleep when my mom and dad were fightin', when he
slugged her and I jumped up and slugged him back. I was a bad-guy buster
even then. I couldn't sleep when they were fightin', I couldn't sleep
when he was out all night and mom was drinkin' non-stop. I lay there with
one eye open, waiting for her to moan, or to fall down and I had to go
out and pick her back up and take her to bed. I couldn't sleep when they
finally split up and she had other boyfriends over to the house. Then
when my dad kidnapped me and I was tied up in that closet. I couldn't
sleep when he kept sayin' he was gonna get rid of the dead weight -
meanin' me. He didn't wanna pay child support and offin' me was gonna be
his way out. Then you came in, rescued me. You slammed the door open, I
saw your coat swing back and forth, as you stood spread eagle, bendin'
down to grab me. Ya swept me up in your coat, your arms around me, I hung
onto you for dear life. You said, 'come on, kiddo, your mom's been
worried', and ya took me home. That was the first time I slept for real
in a long time. I hung onto your arm and slept on it as ya drove me back,
then we got home and ya carried me in, brought me back to my mom. I just
loved you so much, but I didn't know the way I loved you. I thought ya
might be my new dad. My mom thanked you, you tipped your hat to us, and
rode off into the sunset, your black coat swingin' back and forth as you
walked. I had nightmares for years after that, then I finally went to see
someone about it, and then the doctor gave me these pills. I didn't take
very many, 'cuz that's when I met up with you again. That night at the
hotel, when we got together and styaed together. I didn't need them
anymore. You rescued me again. You were my hero again. You've always been
my hero. I've always loved you."

He grabbed me and held on so tight, just like he did as a child.

"Oh, God, Mike, I've missed you. I know I did somethin' wrong and I'm
real sorry about it. I never meant for it to happen. AJ was just all
broken up and I just looked at him and tried to comfort him. I know I
stared at his pic and thought he was hot-lookin' and all, but I had no
real feelings for him. He was into me, and ev'rything, and I kept tellin'
him this was wrong and he went down anyway. I saw that look of hurt on
your face, and I've been real broken up about it ever since. Mike, I
don't know how I can ever make it up to you. I don't wanna lose you,
Mike, please don't leave. I'm sorry, I'm sorry......"

He cried buckets. Just like at the closet. Just like at the hotel. I
could see that I was ev'rything to this boy. This boy was ev'rything to
me. We held each other like there was no tomorrow.

I stroked the back of his soft, warm, sweet-smelling hair, saying "ssh -
it's okay, let it out. I'm right here. Your Boss-Man's right here and
he's never goin' away again, that is, if you want him to stay."

Eddie pulled back and looked at me, "Of course I want you. Why would ya
think otherwise?"

"Look, kid, I carried on the way I did 'cuz it seemed like all my worries
were right."

"Worries?"

"Yeah, In the back of my head I always wondered what ya saw in me. I know
how ya felt about me when I dug ya outta that closet, and all, but your
love for me went beyond hero worship and I sometimes thought you could do
better. Ya know - bein' around a broken down old man like me."

"What makes ya say that?"

"Come on, kid, I'm at least 20 years older than ya. You're always so
wide-eyed, gung-ho, ya really love life, and I had to wonder was I
suckin' the life blood outta ya."

"No, way. Ya put the life blood back into me, not only bein' my hero when
I was a kid, but havin' the chance to actually give ya back what you gave
me. It's like when a cop saves a kid's life, pushin' him outta the way of
a speedin' car, the kid never forgets and grows up to be a cop, too. I
wanted to do good for others just like you did. Outside of your physical
attributes, you have the most beautiful heart. I see how ya look at
people when they come in askin' for help, I see ya lookin' so hurt when
it turns out they were stringin' us along, lurin' us into a trap, and
ev'rything. You have such sweet soulful eyes, a really warm voice, you're
a great protector. You've dedicated your life to the good of others and
you make people feel as safe as you do me, and I think that's so
beautiful and I thank God ev'ry day 'cuz I'm right there doin' that with
ya. Yeah, there's still some hero worship but I also got to know you as a
man, as a powerful, gentle lover, as a friend. It takes a real special
kinda guy to do all that, and you are that, and....then ya have me there.
You took a chance on me. I always wonder if I'm good for you."

"If you're good for me?"

"Sure. I mean I'm a good fighter and all. I'm pretty strong, I work out
and have the muscle and all, but I get insecure, too. You're the best and
I wanna be the best right with ya and I wonder if I can cut it
sometimes."

I had to chuckle when he said that. "Geez, what're ya talkin' about? You
have the same thing inside you as I do. You're a hell of a crimefighter,
you're the best partner I've ever had. You're my Boy Friday. Sure, I love
my work, but since you came along, ya made it - - well, ya made it more
fun. I sometimes smile when I see ya gettin' all excited about a new case
and the way ya throw yourself into it. That sweet smile of satisfaction
when we win one, the passion that comes across ya when things don't look
so good, 'cuz you, too wanna make the world a better place and you're
such an all-american, ya got such a great body."

"Yeah, well, the body's okay, I guess. I never really looked at it much.
Sure I got muscles, but that's cuz I need to stay in shape - I wanna
fight crime for the rest of my life. It's what I'm s'posed to do and I
love it. I only look the way I do 'cuz that's what heroes do - it's to
show the bad guys we mean business. I never thought it turned anyone on."

"You're serious!"

"Yeah, I mean, I appreciate the things ya say about me, and all, but I
didn't start gettin' in shape to meet some guy, that's icin' on the cake,
but...when we got together the first time, I wanted to work with ya and I
thought you were hot, I never thought I was such a turn-on. I'm just this
big, goofy-lookin' kid with stars in my eyes, is all."

"You don't know. You've never seen yourself as I see ya. As AJ saw
ya...Skip, or anyone else for that matter."

"Naw, I can't say I have. I'm just doin' my job is all. My body's a tool
for the job, it's like an office supply. Heck, even the way I dress is
part of it - we gotta move around a lot when we get goin'. I never, ever
knew what that was doin' for other guys, and it's sweet when they tell
me, and all, I mean, who wouldn't blush when someone gets a crush on
them, but....all I am is just this kid who got lucky and really loves
what he does...and who really loves you. We're like a couple of lonely
little lads who found each other."

I smiled from ear to ear, my eyes brimmin' with tears.

"Eddie, I dunno what to say. I'm...moved, touched. Choked up."

He leaned in and wiped my eyes with his fingertips.

Then I stopped for a second, scooped up his stash of insomnia pills.

"You're never gonna need these again."

I walked over to the bathroom and flushed the whole thing down the toilet
and tossed the bottle out. I walked back over to Eddie with my arms
outstretched. He looked up at me kinda quizzical. I smiled and nodded to
him. He gets up and embraces me, and I do likewise. One arm around
him...I stroke the back of his head with the other. I kiss his neck.

"Welcome home, baby...welcome home."