Date: Wed, 05 Sep 2007 20:08:37 +0000 From: Steve Thomas <stevethomas535@hotmail.com> Subject: Dilemma for Tony Ch. 9 This is a work of pure fiction, but based on the author's feelings, beliefs, and in some cases, experience. Come to think of it -- it might not be all that pure! There may be graphic sexual encounters at times between men, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat. If you are too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kind if story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here. If not, - - ENJOY! Cast of characters: Tony diMarco -- yeah -- I am he! (CA) Ben Hastings -- First love (Maui) Ben Fisk -- First sex (+4 years) Lucas diMarco -- my dad Wendy diMarco -- my mom. Joseph -- my Brother -- 17 Levi -- my brother - 15 Fred Stumpf -- 31 year old inactive member. Johnnie Weinberg -- LDS Missionary Ashton Staedler -- New friend Mike Hoffman -- Ashton's Half-Brother Geoff Redmond -- Mike's Friend >From Ch. 8: "Ash?" "Yeah?" "Do I have to go back to my own bed?" "No." I didn't ask if I could spoon him. I just did it and he hugged my arm, which was over his side. He shuddered once again and breathed deep. "Night." He whispered. "I love everything about this night." I said. "Love you too," He seemed to only breathe. Chapter 9 I woke up feeling my hand and arm being stroked. The window revealed that it was light outside. I could see blondish curls blurred in front of my face. It took me a couple seconds to put together where I was. Once I did, I kissed his neck, sucking in a loose curl of hair. He shuddered. "G'morning." He mumbled, kissing my hand. He sucked in two of my fingers and said, "Mmmmmm." Then, "Oh, Tony! That was the most perfect night I could have imagined. I was hoping to make it special for you and it turned out to be the night of my dreams." "It was sweet." I said, Hugging him with my body. "And -- thank you for not -- demanding -- um -- more -- from me. You are so intuitive! You seemed to know exactly what I needed -- wanted! I know you are much more experienced than I am." "Not `much more', Ash." I said. "Oh, I know, but you are my first. You even taught me how to kiss." "I just don't want you to think I am some kind of slut. You are just so easy to love." I said, nuzzling his hairy neck again. "Thanks!" he said hugging my arm. "Last night I was worried I had freaked you out -- um -- when I said that." "The way you explained it -- took some of the threat out of it. But it's true: I couldn't feel comfortable even doing what we did -- with someone I didn't love." "Yeah -- I was worried I might be crazy or something. I mean, how could I feel this way about someone I just met yesterday?" He paused, then, "And yet -- I do." I hugged him even closer and breathed deep of his morning odor. His deodorant -- or maybe it was his cologne -- was just enough to make it very sexy in the morning. He squirmed and giggled a little when I exhaled. "So -- what time do you need to be at the airport?" He sounded reluctant to ask. "I figured 11:00 would be fine." "Why do you have to go all the way to Kuhio? Kapalua has flights to Honolulu -- and it's less than 15 minutes away. Hey! I could fly you! I'm certified for daylight flight!" "Um -- better not. I really don't want to have to drive home late Sunday night all the way from here. I have to get up at 12:30 Monday morning." "Ohh -- okay." He pouted. "Ash - I don't want to lead you on -- or anything." "huh?" "Ash -- the guy I am going to Oahu to see him dive - ? You don't do that just for anyone.." "Huh? Oh! You mean it's -- a date? OOoohhhh! Oh, that's right you said that you're coming home - Sunday -- so -- you're spending tomorrow night with him!" Up to this point I was spooning him from the back. He turned around and looked directly into my eyes. "Don't go, Tony!" He said, looking back and forth between my eyes. I looked into his eyes for a few seconds. I rolled away from him. "Ashton -- you can't ask me that -- not at this time. It's not fair. It's too soon." "I know but -- after last night -- after all we just said - " "Ashton -- we haven't done anything. We have shared a very loving moment in time. There will have to be many more of those before you could ask me to not see anyone else." "How old is he?" He pouted. "Ashton -- you don't get to do comparisons. If you did that -- based on logic -- you'd lose. But love is not logical." "I'd lose -- why?" "Fred and I have so much in common. First of all, we are both Mormons. That may not seem to be too important to you -- but to us -- it is." "Oh." He said, completely deflated. "Ashton -- this is just no fair. It's not fair of you to try to make me feel guilty about -- about -- something that carries no guile I'm sorry, but it tells me something about you that I didn't want to know." I wanted to take those words back as soon as I said them. The look on his face almost made me cry. I might have if Mike and Geoff hadn't busted in. "Happy Birthday, Ash!" they both shouted. I drew back even further. "What!!??" I said. "It's your birthday!?? Why -- what -- I don't get it! I mean -- what the -- I didn't have any way to know!" I said. "I didn't want you to!" Said Ashton, looking daggers at the other two guys. My dad gave me last night for my 25th birthday.. I told him I didn't want you to know." "WHY!?" I demanded. "Why would you do this to me? I feel like crap now. I didn't want to spoil your birthday!" "I -- uh -- guess -- we came in at a bad time?" Said Mike as they backed out and re-closed the door. I turned my back to Ashton and plopped back down on the bed. I felt physically sick. So much for "having it all!" I thought to myself. "Tony -- I'm sorry -- I didn't mean to - " "It's not your fault -- it's not MY fault! Well, it's a little your fault! You can't expect someone -- after knowing him 2 days - " "I get it, Tony -- I get it. Please -- forgive me." I wheeled around to face him on the bed. "Dammit, Ashton! It's not about forgiveness! Of course I forgive you! But that doesn't make my stomach feel any better. I'd actually be tempted to -- stay -- here. But I can't hurt Fred. As it is, now I have to go see him and pretend I'm fine -- and I'm not!" I forced back the tears. He turned away from me. "Okay. I am sorry -- you probably better go -- and -- let me know -- if -- he's not the one." "What?" "I don't want to get in your way." "Oh, stop being so dramatic! I'm not in love with him. I'm not in love with you. I'm not in love with Ben!" I said. "I am in love with someone -- but he doesn't love me -- not that way." "Sorry -- please -- don't be mad." He said. I slumped down almost to the floor. "I'm not -- mad -- Ashton." I felt suddenly worn out. "Wow -- I can tell when you're -- um upset." He said. "You keep calling me Ashton." I turned and looked into his eyes. "Do you think it would be possible to -- pretend -- well, no -- not pretend -- but -- just -- forgive -- each other -- and -- turn our backs on this last few moments -- as if they didn't happen?" "I wish they didn't happen!" "Okay -- you told me that we could do something for breakfast. Are you still open to that possibility?" "Huh? Are you?" He asked. "C'mon, Ash -- gimme something to work with here!" I said, grabbing my crotch. "You made me completely lose my wood! You owe me!" My face was stern -- which didn't exactly match what I just said. His eyes were shaking, and his lips were trying to smile, but he was confused. "You mean -- you're not mad at me?" "No -- ASH -- I told you I wasn't mad." "I thought -- I thought -- I'd lost you!" he still pouted. "Ash -- you are 25 -- you're a big man now! Shit! You never had me! Get over it and let's move on from where we are!" I made a mean face -- then grinned. "I've never -- felt this way about anyone before." I chuckled. "Well -- get used to it. You may feel it several times in your life -- in the next year!" He searched my eyes to see if I was serious. I think he got it - - that I WAS serious. "Where -- where -- do you want to go for breakfast?" He asked, tentatively. "We have to go somewhere?" "We could stay here." He said. I think we have some pop tarts. "But -- ew -- that's not breakfast." "You've never had pop tarts and Papaya? I know I saw a few papayas in the kitchen last night." "Pop tarts and papaya?" He repeated, incredulous. "Got any lemon -- or lime?" "We did but some of that lime juice -- for drinks. It's in the fridge." "Let's do it!" I said. I cut a papaya in half and spooned out the seeds, then pierced each half with a fork -- many times -- before pouring some lime juice in the fork holes. Then I put 2 pop tarts in the toaster. They were chocolate -- fruit ones would have more to my taste. When they were ready. We ate them with the papayas. "This is really good!" Said Ashton. "I think I want more!" I fixed another round and we polished it off too. "Now what?" Said Ashton. "Where'd the other guys go?" I asked. "I dunno -- probably out to breakfast." "Ash -- last night -- you told me you loved me. I said not to be saying that so soon. You then told me that you loved me like you love your brother -- or even Geoff. That's fine. Then when I told you I loved you -- this morning -- you freaked out. I have to go now -- um -- can I kiss you good bye -- and maybe expect to see you again?" He got completely serious. "Yes. Please -- I'm new to all this -- even though I'm 25! Come here." He pulled me into the bedroom and took off all his clothes. "Please take yours off too. I don't want to do anything -- really. I just want to feel your -- body." I complied with his wish. I stripped and we came together in a warm, close hug and kissed good bye -- I thought. Then he pulled me toward the bed. He lay down and beckoned me to lie on top of him. I did. This was the first time our bodies were completely touching with no clothing between us. "Ca -- can I -- um feel you?" He said, hoarsely. "Yes." I said. I expected him to go for the gold, but he didn't. He stroked my face then moved down my neck and played -- ever so gently -- with each nipple. That made me press my torso into his -- and of course our wood was hard and moving against each other as our pelvises seemed to move of their own accord. He moved to the side slightly and rubbed my tummy, working his way down to my very curly pubes. He worked them a bit, reaching his fingers around my stiff pole, and between my legs. "I do this to myself. I hope you like it." He said. "It's better when someone else does it." I said and started to work on him. He wrapped his fingers around my shaft and I shuddered a little then did the same for him. His sharp intake of breath pushed his dick deep into my hand. He moaned. "Omigod! Can this be for real?" He said. I stroked his no more than five times and his eyes got a panicky look. "I'm coming!" He screamed. "Stop!" "To late for that, Ash!" I said, seeing the first spurt hit my chest. I stroked him hard and fast. He came and came -- all the time closing his eyes tightly and holding his breath. When he was finished, he still heaved and puffed for another 5 minutes. Then he started to cry. "You okay, Ash?" I asked He looked at me and couldn't talk for a moment. Finally he whimpered, "I -- just -- never knew anything could be that good. And -- I'm -- I'm -- so happy it was you that did it for me. "I'll be okay -- fine -- now." I chuckled to myself. I don't think it ever crossed his mind that I never got off. I hugged and kissed him again and got up to get dressed. When I was sitting on the bed putting on my sandals he touched me and said, "Thanks. Call me again -- please?" "I -- um -- yeah! That's a pretty sure thing!" I said. I hope your 25th birthday is great." "It's hard to -- haha -- it's hard to think it could be anything but downhill from here. I already climaxed!" He was laughing and his whole face shone like it did last night. I came back to him -- he was still completely nude -- and picked him up easily -- he's a small guy! He wrapped his legs around me. He buried his face in my neck and kissed it. I kissed his lips once more and said -- "I gotta go." I grabbed my back pack with my clothes and walked out of the house to my car. He stood at the door, cracked open because he was still nude -- and I walked around my car and waved to him. He smiled and waved. I looked down and noticed that where he wrapped his legs around me -- he dripped cum all over my shirt. I laughed to myself. Ashton is such a little boy! It'd be hard not to love him! I drove the 1/2 hour to the Kuhio airport and went to the counter for the Hawaiian Air inter island flights. I bought one for the next flight to Honolulu -- in 50 minutes -- and then went to the bathroom and washed the cum out of my shirt. I put it back on to let it dry on me. I thought about Ashton. He's so immature -- for a 25 year old. Yeah -- and on the other hand -- I'm sooo experienced. HAH! I smiled to myself. I kind of like that. I like teaching him. And then -- Ben's almost 26, and seems so mature. I think it's his church service that makes him appear that way. Even as Elders Quorum President -- he was kind of forced to be more mature than the guys that looked up to him. Then there's Fred. He IS more mature, and yet he sometimes acts like a kid. But -- he IS still living with his parents. But some would say -- good for him -- duh! He's got it pretty sweet! I arrived at Honolulu at 12:35. I pushed Fred's cell number. "Hey you! You here in the park?" "Naw -- I'll grab a bus -- should be there in about an hour -- right?" "No, it takes that long by car. You may not make it in time to see me dive." He sounded disappointed -- but no more than I was. "I'll do my best to get there, Fred. I really want to see you." "We'll see each other, but yes, I will be disappointed if you can't make my exhibition." I ran all the way to the bus terminal that was in the Sky Harbor air terminal at Honolulu. All out of breath, I waited impatiently in a line of 4 people in front of me -- and only one behind.. "I'm sorry sir, but the next bus going past Waimea Falls Park isn't in yet and won't be leaving for 1 ½ hours." I felt like crying -- but I didn't. Still, something about my countenance must have touched something in the lady behind me. "Where did you say you were going, young man?" Said a very attractive Hawaiian lady. "I was hoping to get to Waimea Falls Park in time to see my friend dive." "Oh. I happen to be going there myself. You look familiar. Have you been to Kahului?" "I LIVE THERE!" I said. "You look familiar too. Have we -- ooohhhh! Are you -- Sister Stumpf?" "Yes, I am." I stepped away a half pace and extended my hand. "I'm Tony diMarco, a friend of your son." "Oh yes -- from church. And your parents are Luke and Wendy?" Yes!" I said then suddenly felt naked as I perceived that she was seeing through me and reading me. "I was just making some reservations for my sister to ride to Waimea Falls Park next month. My husband and I will be there at one of the pavilions. I am hoping that Fred can get his friend to let him fill in diving for him that day." "Oh. And you say you're going there today?" "Yes. I want to surprise Fred. I haven't seen him dive since he was a teenager." "And Brother Stumpf? Will he be there? "Oh no. He has church responsibilities to attend to. Well, in all honesty, so do I, but you know that family is more important than church -- well to most anyway. So would you like to ride up there with me?" I felt like such a hypocrite. I was asked to ride with Fred's mom to see him, then go spend the night with him somewhere and - - "I'd love a ride!" I said. "How soon are you leaving?" "As soon as I make this reservation and I want to stop by the ladies room." "Good!" I said. I'll just go and make a pit stop myself and wait for you by -- that ladies room there?" "Wonderful!" I wondered how a surprise like that might affect Fred. I decided that he deserved to know. I punched in his number. "Yo -- Tony! Get a bus?" "Even better. I got a ride -- with your mother." "WHAT??!!" "Your mom is planning to surprise you and - " "Well, I guess that little surprise got spoiled!" He said. "Oh, I'm sorry, I just thought - " "No, I'm joking. You are a life saver. She hasn't seen me dive since high school. The speedo I wear is more like a thong. She would not be pleased. I'll borrow one from my partner." "You -- have a partner?" I said. "My DIVING partner, Tony. Don't worry -- I'm all yours - - this weekend. So -- you met my mom. Well, to fill you in a little -- she -- and Dad -- know I'm gay, but -- we don't talk much about it. She'll probably guess that -- well -- that you are somewhat more than a casual friend -- since you flew over here to see me dive." "You mean she will guess that we -- I mean that - " "That you're gay and are meeting me for more than a handshake and dinner." "Thanks -- I needed to know that. I already have felt naked in front of her." "Why -- what did you wear?" "It's more like what I'm NOT wearing -- my temple garments." "Oh." He said. "Well, I'd like to tell you she wouldn't notice." He said, leaving me to assume the worst. "Well, at least you may make it to see me dive. Thanks for the heads up. I'll act surprised. Bye!" In the toilet stall, with the door closed, I sat and opened my back pack. I reached down and brought out my garment top. I put it up to my face. I closed my eyes and tears started to flow. I know I'm crazy -- and it never even entered my mind to put them on. I just threw them in -- not really thinking about it -- as I packed. Oh I thought about it all right -- at least subconsciously. I don't feel worthy to wear them. But no one told me I couldn't have them with me. I put them back -- at the bottom of my back pack, and then finished my business and left the stall and went to the wash station. I looked at myself, I had apparently cried more than I realized. I was a mess. I washed my face as well as I could and when I came out of the restroom, she was waiting for me! I was doubly embarrassed. "Are you okay, Tony?" "Oh -- yeah -- it's just -- erm -- allergies." I said. I knew that she knew I was lying, because my voice even broke telling her that. "My car should be waiting for us. Shall we go?" "How long have you and Fred known each other?" she mused as we pulled out of the airport. "Um -- several weeks." I said, searching for almost anything to change the subject. Um -- this is a very nice car. I didn't know you could rent these -- is it a Mercedes?" "Yes. It's really nicer and newer than my own car, but isn't that what you want when you rent car? So - you must have become very good friends -- in such a short time -- for you to come over here to see him dive." "Well -- um -- yes, I guess you could say that. We did hit it off. I came because he invited me and I didn't have anything else to do (well, that wasn't necessarily so!) so I decided it would be fun to come over. I haven't been here since last spring." "Oh? What did you come over for then? Oh listen to me! I'm such a busy body sometimes." She said. "It's okay. I came to see a friend get married." "How nice. Where was that?" "At the Laie Temple." I said. "Isn't that a beautiful Temple? There's nothing so beautiful as seeing a beautiful groom and bride standing in a sealing room, with those mirrors on each side of them." She said, then added. So you must have served a mission. Where did you go?" This was a valid assumption for someone who assumed that a young unmarried man is temple worthy. I surreptitiously buttoned my shirt beyond where the tee shirt would have appeared. "I -- uh -- was sent to the Arizona Tucson Mission." "Oh -- kind of hot there!" I saw her look my way and I feigned a yawn. "Oh, I just talk too much, sometimes. You probably were going to sleep on the bus. You go right ahead! Knowing my son, you will be up all hours tonight! He is a party boy -- but you probably already know that." "I -- uh -- have never been out with him." I said, then felt uncomfortable with that expression and stammered, "I mean -- we never -- that is -- we haven't been out to any -- any -- place at night -- yet -- er -- before." "Well, trust me you probably won't be getting up any time in the morning tomorrow!" One of her brows was raised high. "Um -- do you go to the Young adult ward?" "Um -- I've been before". I said. "Oh." She said almost curtly. "I mostly go to my parent's ward -- 4th ward." "Oh you're in 4th ward! Oh! Then you must be the one he went there to see a couple weeks ago!" "Yes, that was just after we met." "But he said you weren't there." "I was hiding -- sort of -- not from Fred, but in the corner of the overflow. He didn't see me and when I didn't see him, I escaped -- to the Young Adult ward. One of the girls there asked me to come to her Sunday school class." "Hm." She said. I could almost see the wheels turning in her head. I felt more and more like a hypocrite. I was worried that I was giving her some hope that -- wasn't there. I closed my eyes and thought about Johnnie and Ben, both trying to walk the straight and narrow. And I was piling one half-lie onto another! Thinking about them, I really did fall into a troubled sleep. The road to Waimea Falls Park was windier than I remembered. Before I knew it, we were passing under the entrance of the park, with peacocks and the lush planting that only gets better as you get further into the park. As soon as we were parked, she said, I know you want to see Fred dive. I can't run, but I`ll catch a tram. Do you know the way to - " "Yes, I know the way to the falls." I said. I ran all the way and was quite out of breath by the time I got there. I lay down under a tree and cooled off as my chest was about to burst from running so far. "You made it!" said a voice that echoed into my head. I shook out the cobwebs and looked up. "Where is my Mom?" "She took a tram." I looked up and though the sun was in my eyes, I could see he was clad in a tight but well covering speedo. "Wow did you get here?" "I ran all the way." "Ohh! How sweet! You didn't want to miss me, huh? Well, no problem. The last show isn't for ten minutes. Thanks for the heads up about my mom. She may have been embarrassed to see me in -- well, you'll see my suit. My partner -- my DIVING partner -- will be wearing it. Hee hee. I had to promise to take him out to dinner with us tonight -- to get him to wear it." "That bad huh?" "Well -- you'll see!" Ten minutes later I was watching several guys climb up the face of the cliff that the falls cascade over. All of the guests were asked to swim to the opposite edge of the water. All of the guys up there were wearing Speedos. Out of the four of them, the other two were somewhat more revealing than Fred's, but Fred's partner was clad in a thong that only surrounded his parts -- he must have had to shave his pubes -- and it was strung between his cheeks so that his rear was completely exposed. That was what Fred was GOING to be wearing! When it was Fred and his partners turn, they stood on a rock overlooking the steep cliff which fell down into the small pond below. They stood there with -- well, Fred's arm was over his partner's shoulder and his partners hand looked like it was on Fred's butt. He looked about 16 years old, but so did Fred from that distance. There was not an ounce of fat on either of them. Fred whispered something to him. He moved his hand to Fred's shoulders. Fred and -- I later learned his name is Rollin -- did several very intricate mirrored, synchronized dives and at the end both climbed up higher than I have ever seen anyone climb and dove at least 50 feet down and across each other's path, twisting around each other to each enter the water feet first with their fronts to the audience. They got a thunderous applause, most of which they didn't hear because they were still under the water. When the spectacle was over, the announcer invited the onlookers to come and speak to the divers. Of course I went and so did Fred's mom. "I had no idea you could dive like that, Freddie. It must be genetic! You grandfather could dive like that! And you too, - um -- is it Rolly?" "It's Rollin, Ma'am, but most people call me that." "Anyway, you were magnificent. And where did you get that marvelous suit? I believe a chiseled Hawaiian's body is an art form all its own!" "Thank you ma'am." Blushed Rollin. Actually he had covered himself with a towel, so up close no one could quite see his magnificence. Rollin grinned at her and then his eyes moved and locked on to mine. His purely innocent look melted me. That and - - his delicious smile! Having just got out of the water, his hair was hanging in his face. All the other divers had found a way to get their hair in place, but he seemed to be oblivious that it may even be important. "Well, you three look like you must have many things to talk about." Said Sister Stumpf. "and I need to check on our fixtures at the Polynesian Expo Pavilion." "Oh." Said Fred. "I thought -- oh well. Okay, see you later - - Mom?" "Oh I doubt you boys want an old woman around to bring you down! I'll see you at home -- when -- tomorrow morning, Freddie?" "Um -- I dunno. I may -- um - stay here for a day or so more, depending on what Tony and Rollie are doing." It was interesting -- sad really -- to see the change in Fred's countenance when he realized that his mother was not really there to see him dive. He was confident, with his head up when she arrived, but now he was looking down, shuffling his feet, and fidgeting. It was like all of a sudden he went from a confident 20 something (He'll never seem in his 30's to me!) to an insecure, young teenager. When he did this, Rollie moved closer and put his hand on Fred's neck -- seemingly to reassure him. "Alright, Dear. Please let us know so we won't worry." "I will, Mom. I always do." She disappeared up a path that turned behind some thick tropical shrubbery. There was an uncomfortable silence, as Fred kept making circles with his bare toes on the ground. "You okay Fred?" I said. "Oh -- (sigh) -- yeah." "It's gonna be fine, Fred. What -- did you have in mind for the three of us, anyway?" "Oh, sorry, Rollie, I was just trying to be vague -- to -- um -- well, you know, I didn't want to be pinned down by my mommy." If possible, Fred's shoulders seemed to slump even more. "I'm 32 years old and -- she still makes me feel like a baby." "Well, you two probably have a lot to do, then, you can buy me that dinner later." Said Rollie with smile and an upbeat tone, "So if we can change these suits, I need to be getting away." "Are you sure you have to?" I said, not thinking. Fred looked stunned. Then as if he were suddenly on my page, he added. "Hey, yeah! I was gonna take Tony -- I mean -- we were going out to dinner -- over in Laie -- to the big luau at the Cultural Center.. Wanna come?" Again, Fred was his 20-something confident mode. "I -- I -- don't want to impose. You guys are a couple -- and -- I mean -- aren't you?" Fred looked at me questioningly. "I don't know -- are we? I don't think -- um -- not yet." He said to Rollie. "Oh. Well -- um -- the truth is -- I could never afford to get in the Cultural Center, much less the Luau." "When I invite someone to dinner, I don't expect them to pay, Rollie! It's my treat." Now it was Rollie's turn to fidget. "Look, I don't wanna spoil your night out, I - " He looked down. Fred frowned at me and motioned toward Rollie. "Are you kidding?" I quipped. "Spoil what? I was just hoping to get to know you better. And it's obvious that Fred wants you with us! Please come!" Fred slapped him on the butt and said, "C'mon Rollie, lets go get changed." Rollie looked at us both and grinned sheepishly, then shrugged. They disappeared into the restroom, Rollie let his towel drop, exposing his be-thonged butt cheeks. They were light tan, as compared to his dark brown body -- and -- made my tummy -- and something else -- quiver. I involuntarily took a step in that direction, then I decided it wouldn't be good to follow them into the restroom. They came out in a few minutes and Fred led the way to his car. It was a Solara convertible. "You and your mom like to rent nice cars!" I said. "Yeah, well, - `can't afford to own one, so - " Rollie was quick to hop in the back seat. I got in the front and started to adjust the seat forward. "NOooo! It's okay. There's plenty of room." He leaned forward and put his hand on my seatback, and his hand brushed my neck. It sent goose bumps over me. Fred winked at me. He didn't miss much, that's for sure! When we got to PCC (the Polynesian Cultural Center in Laie) the first place I headed for was the bathroom. I was finishing my business at the urinal when Rollie came in. We were the only two there. "I heard you call Fred's mom, Sister Stumpf. I didn't know he was LDS. Are you a Mormon too?" "Yes. Are you?" "Yeah -- sort of." "Sort of?" "I don't do it very well." "You're not alone." I said. "Yeah, but I should know better -- or at least that's what they say." "They?" "I served a mission in Switzerland." "Really?" I said, excitedly -- "That's awesome. I was in Arizona." "You did a mission -- too?" He said, suddenly animated. "Yeah. But -- um -- I'm gay -- so it was - " "Hard to live with some companions that -- um -- lets say -- turned you on?" He said. "Yeah, me too." He zipped his fly and turned to me, and we connected in a way that I have never felt before. It was uncomfortable but -- it was like -- I dunno -- like I just came home -- or something. He finally spoke. "Did you do anything -- um -- that - " "No -- except masturbation. Mission president asked me if I was fantasizing about a girl. I said no. He said it's not a problem unless I let it rule my life." "And -- it wasn't a girl, either!" Said Rollie. "Was it?" "It was my companion." I said. "I know! What made it worse was -- one of my companions -- one that I was crazy about -- used to jack off all the time too. We both knew it, but didn't talk about it. I am sure he was thinking about a girl, but -- I doubt he told mission president about it. We'd just get off together, but never talk about it." "Geez! I never had that experience. I mean I had a couple companions that I knew did it, bit I just pretended I was asleep. It was their wanking that woke me up in the first place." We keyed in each others cell numbers as we walked out and Fred looked at us strangely, as if wondering what took us so long. "We got another one of us, Fred!" "Huh?" "Another Mormon." I said. "Oh -- yeah -- I figured." "But you never said anything!" Said Rollie. "Rollie's been to Switzerland -- on his mission!" I said excitedly. "Well, then -- you two must have a lot to talk about!" Said Fred, almost sarcastically. Rollie and I looked at each other. "I knew I wasn't supposed to come tonight!" Said Rollie. "I'm sorry, Fred, we just seemed to fall into finding out -- about -- it." "No, no. It's okay. Maybe you guys were supposed to meet." He said, as if accepting his fate. I could see the top of the temple in the background, and it made me think of Ben Hastings -- with a small ache. Rollie also looked at it, and got a pained look on his own face. "I shouldn't be here." He said, as if seeing the temple suddenly reminded him of something. "I -- I -- have an aunt who lives next to the university. I'm gonna go stay there for the night." "Aw -- c'mon, Rollie!" said Fred. "You don't need - " Rollie sighed sadly. "Yeah -- I do. See yah." And with that he walked away. He turned and said -- I'll see you next time you fill in for Ryan, Fred. And it was great to -- um -- meet you, Tony. Let's talk." He waved and flashed us both a sweet smile and ran toward the entrance of the park. Fred and I stood for a moment in stunned silence, looking in the direction that Rollie disappeared. "Well, I sure fucked that up!" Said Fred disgustedly, shaking his head. "You guys have a lot of promise!" he said. "Well, let's got to the Luau!" It was all said in chagrin and maybe a little anger. I didn't feel any of it was toward me. As we were eating -- in silence -- it was easy to ignore the elephant sitting between us, because there was a constant banter of the M.C. or some group or other performing a dance or songs. I broke the silence while we waited for our dessert. "Fred, I came here to be with you. I LIKE you -- a lot." "Well, - yeah -- I know, but -- it's obvious you like Rollie too." He said. "We did hit it off. But then -- Fred? You know I saw the Temple tonight and was taken back to when Ben was married to Al. It was deeply hurtful -- for a moment. I guess I still love him." "So -- why did you go to the prick's wedding?" He said irritably. "It wasn't his fault. I broke up with him!" "Oh." "Fred, yes, I do like Rollie -- but I also like Ben Fisk, Ashton Staedler, and Elder -- I mean Johnnie Weinberg. But -- tonight I'm with you." "Yeah -- you're with the runt of the whole pack!" "Boy, you have a dark side that won't stop, don't you!" I scolded. "Sorry, but -- This just seems to be the story of my life." "Well -- if that's so, maybe you should start a new book!" "What's that supposed to mean?" "It seems to me that you're trying to -- well -- maybe -- drive me away. I flew over here to be with you. And --- my gosh! Runt??!! You may be short, but don't do that to yourself. You are awesome. And -- you were beyond awesome this afternoon. That twisting turn you did with Rollie was stupendous! Does this Ryan guy do that with him?" "Naw. And the show coordinator scolded us immediately after for throwing in something new and something that wasn't approved. Ryan is -- a haoli -- and -- well, what can I say? Rollie and I are both Hawaiian -- well, I'm not exactly -- but really every Hawaiian came from another island -- in reality. We just -- are made for each other. I mean to dive together!" "Well, anyway, it was awesome. I'm sure your mother was impressed." "Yeah, I suppose. But it really was a disappointment that she didn't really come to see me." "There you go again with that dark side. Just be happy she was here -- and please be happy that I'm here! Fred -- I'm here for one reason. And that's - - you." "I know." He kittenishly put his head to my arm. "But don't worry - - If it can be fucked up -- I'll find a way!" I turned to him and said, "STOP THAT! Unless you want me to get a ride back and just fly back tonight!" "Now that's just silly. There is no ride to Sky Harbor tonight from here -- unless I take you." "Fred -- if you do this to every guy that likes you -- and I DO still like you - - " "Yeah! No wonder I'm 32 and not -- not -- attached to anyone!" "You said it -- I didn't." "But you were gonna!" He said. I looked at him. I spoke softly, "Fred -- will you just be mine -- just for tonight? And I will be -- just -- yours. Okay?" "I want that more than you know." He whispered in my ear. Then he looked into my eyes. His smile was genuine -- as were his tears. Notes: Is our boy confused? Maybe, but mostly he's - - 22! Comments are always welcome. Email to: Steve at stevethomas535@hotmail.com. Thanks and love, Steve.