Date: Thu, 10 Dec 2015 16:47:04 -0500
From: Jesse McMillan <writingafewstories@gmail.com>
Subject: Giving Us A Chance-Chapter 5

Though Mason Alexander now sat staring into the shadows of his dark
apartment, his heart heavy with grief and remorse, he still could not help
but feel the slightest bit of pride at his resolve. It was true, he'd lost
control as he'd recognized Aidan's reaction at his admitting having
feelings for him. But despite having sobbed in humiliation Mason had
managed to pull himself together, regain control of his mind and faculties,
and had managed to calmly and rationally discuss the situation with
Aidan. And as if this had not been enough, he'd managed to lie to Aidan
(albeit not with words so much as facial expressions and body language) and
drive away, leaving a stunned Aidan convinced that he'd taken the rejection
much better than was actually true.

Mason knew he should've felt guilty for deceiving Aidan into believing he'd
taken the whole matter in stride. But though he was ashamed to admit it,
there was some tiny bit of him that took great pride in the idea of having
dealt Aidan's ego a blow, the idea that, though Mason had been humiliated
to admit his feelings for Aidan, he'd still been able to walk away of his
own choosing, without looking like a love-sick teenager. But though he'd
forced that smile onto his face as he'd stepped into his car, as if to say
"I'm fine, really," and waved to Aidan as he'd driven away the all-too-real
truth was that he'd only held his resolve long enough to round the first
curve in the road. It was nothing short of a miracle that he'd made his way
safely home without blearily weeping and sobbing his way into a head-on
crash.

He wasn't sure how long he'd spent on the sofa. When the soul hurts time
has a funny way of playing dirty tricks on the mind, at times seeming to
drag out every excruciating second, at others seeming to somehow skip whole
hours or days of consciousness. He'd not bothered to look at the clock.
What did it matter? He knew he'd lain on the sofa long enough for his back
to ache, and at some point he'd awoken from a restless sleep. His rational
mind reminded him that he had a hot shower and a much softer bed mere steps
away. But the half-empty bottle of Scotch that sat on the coffee table
seemed to convince him otherwise. What was the point of moving anyway?
Moving was a risk, especially being drunk as he was. Moving from the safety
of the sofa to attempt walking was too risky. Didn't the memories that kept
replaying in his head prove just how risks truly paid off in life? Whoever
had come up with the old idea of "great risks bring great results" was full
of shit! Just look where his risk of a lifetime had gotten him!

===============================================================================

Betty Jo McManus had dialed half the digits of her son's cell number before
thinking better of it and replacing the receiver. She'd not slept well the
night before. After he'd returned from his stint in the Middle East she'd
grown accustomed to Aidan calling every night, just before bedtime. It was
silly, especially as her 25 year old son now towered over her like a
massive tree. But it was their silly tradition, and one that brought her
much joy. The silent phone last night had brought her more than a bit of
worry. If there was one thing in this world the military had instilled in
Aidan it was reliability. You could count on Aidan to be on time, every
time, all the time. It wasn't like him to disappear. It was true, Aidan
didn't need her to hold his hand throughout life any more. But she was
still his mother!

She'd started to simply take a drive over to the apartment building Aidan
and Mason lived in and check on her son in person. But were she to be
honest with herself, though she'd given Mason her blessing to approach
Aidan about his feelings, she was more than a little nervous at what she
might prospectively interrupt! She didn't think Aidan would be that quick
to "jump ship," but she'd watched enough HBO to see how these things work!
So fearing the idea of barging into an apartment of half-naked young men,
doing God-only-knew-what to each other, one of them being her son, she'd
opted for option number two; pace the floor and wait for when she was given
the news. But this was proving one of the most difficult tasks she'd taken
upon herself in some time.

===============================================================================

The sound of the rain pounding onto the vinyl top of Aidan's car woke him
from an uneasy sleep. A small trickle of water had found its way through
the crack in the vinyl convertible top and was steadily dripping onto his
shoulder. Shit! As if the day couldn't get any better! Now he'd spent the
night out here, the Mustang was gonna be ruined in this rain! Of course it
had to happen like this! His dad's 1967 Mustang GT. His dad's and his own
pride and joy, the only fucking thing he had left of his father, would have
to pay the price for his stupidity in this deluge!

He hadn't been able to bring himself to face the apartment building, not
when he knew that just two floors above him his best friend would probably
be grieving for what he'd believed might've had a chance between them. So
coward that he was, Aidan had simply slouched into the driver's seat of his
car and spent the night staring out from the Parkway pull-off into the vast
sky above the valley below. He didn't know when he'd gone to sleep. Hell,
he didn't know how he'd gone to sleep! He'd shed more than a few tears
himself last night. Looking Mason Montgomery Alexander in the eyes and
telling him that he didn't love him had been the hardest thing he'd ever
had to do.

Had he been given the choice, Aidan would've gladly gone back to being shot
at in Iraq before having to reject Mason as he'd had to do yesterday. He'd
seen the hurt in Mason's eyes. Mason had smiled and waved as he'd driven
away. But Aidan knew the truth. They hadn't been friends for almost twenty
years for Aidan to be so dense as to believe Mason was actually okay with
this whole thing. No one is ever okay with rejection! And to make matters
worse, how the hell could rejection from someone's best friend not be
anything less than emotional torture? But Aidan had let Mason walk
away. He'd tried to be gracious enough to at least allow Mason to keep that
much dignity. It was clear Mason had been humiliated beyond words. Whether
he knew the truth or not, Mason deserved the dignity of believing he'd made
the choice to walk away.

Aidan's head throbbed as the rebuilt engine in the Mustang ignited. He had
to talk to his mom. She'd know what to do about this.

===============================================================================

Betty Jo heard the Mustang coming long before she saw Aidan drive up. How
she despised that car! It was a terrible thing to say, because Aidan
treasured it. When his good-for-nothing excuse of a father had left for
Oregon or wherever it was he'd gone he'd left his '67 Mustang to
Aidan. Aidan knew the truth about his father's philandering. In fact it had
been Aidan who'd discovered his father and whichever of the countless
strumpets it had been that night and confronted him. How her heart had bled
for Aidan that night! When her massive 18 year old had crushed her in an
embrace of despair and heartbreak, having realized the truth behind the
countless missed ball games and school events, she'd wanted to take the
small pistol she kept in her purse and shoot Bradley McManus where he
stood! Yet despite his seemingly having written his father out of his life
permanently the Mustang had remained.

She knew something was wrong. Aidan never drove that godforsaken car out in
weather like this! And the forceful pounding on the door only confirmed her
suspicions. She had to stifle a gasp as she flung the door open to greet
her son. "Aidan! Oh my word, son, you look terrible!" The assessment wasn't
an exaggeration. Aidan eyes were dark and his hair rumpled. He never
stepped out of the house without keeping enough gel plastered in his sandy
hair ("for that messy look") to walk through a hurricane! She waited for
the characteristic sarcastic response from her son that was their way. But
today no playful insult was returned to her, only a clouded look and deadly
serious words. "I need to talk to you about something."

===============================================================================

Aidan made his was over to the worn sofa that had sat in his mother's
living room for most of his life. He needed the comfort of familiarity as
he dealt with this. His mother followed and sat next to him, pulling his
large hands into her own. "Aidan what's going on?"

How did he begin? How did he even breach this subject? Admitting to your
mother that your best friend had told you they were in love with you wasn't
the most comfortable topic of conversation! But Aidan had not been Betty Jo
McManus' only child and source of joy for naught. "Son whatever's going on,
just tell me. I can tell something's upset you."

"I......I had a talk with Mason yesterday." It struck Aidan as strange as
his mother stifled a small gasp at his mentioning Mason. Had Mason already
been by here to tell her? "We uh.....well, he......he told me he
was........in love with me."

Suddenly Betty Jo McManus' entire 60 years seemed to be displayed across
her face. Her normally expressive round face clouded and fell as she stared
into her son's eyes and heaved a great sigh. "And you told him you didn't
love him back?" Aidan couldn't explain why, but a red-hot shame suddenly
flushed within him. "I.......I told him I didn't love him in that way. He
know's I love him. We're like brothers. But.....well, my god Mom, this is
Mason!" "I know son........that's why I told him he should talk to you."

===============================================================================

Had Betty Jo not been filled with dread at the explosion she knew was
imminent as her son realized what she'd just admitted the flash of half a
dozen emotions that crossed his face in an instant would've been
humorous. But knowing Aidan as she did "funny" would've been the last word
she would've chosen at that moment to apply to the situation. Aidan was
angry, no, judging by the expression he now wore as he leapt to his feet,
Aidan was furious.

"What do you mean `you told him?' He didn't say anything about you." If she
survived the oncoming storm with Aidan, Betty made a mental note to hug
Mason with all her might for attempting to spare her own relationship with
Aidan. Bless him! He would be that considerate.  But her gratitude would
have to wait. Right now it was clear by the murderous look of comprehension
that was dawning on Aidan's face that she had a more pressing issue. So
mustering her courage to face the impending row she could see simmering
just below the surface with Aidan Betty met her son's eyes defiantly. If he
was going to be furious with her, he might as well hear the whole story!

"I meant just what I said; I told Mason to talk to you about how he
felt. I've known for years that he felt something more for you than just
friendship. He'd acted strangely for several months; he hardly had two
extra words to say. And shy as he may've been around strangers, I've not
spent twenty years listening to you two constantly laughing and joking for
nothing. I knew something was eating at him, so I asked him. He admitted
the truth to me, and I told him that, before it became too late, he should
talk to you about the situation."

===============================================================================

Aidan felt himself shake with rage. How dare she? His own mother! He
attempted to keep his voice under control, but could not hide the strain or
tremor that boiled from his white-hot fury. "I cannot believe you've gone
behind my back and spoken with him about this. How could you? How could you
do this to either of us?! I can't believe after all this time Meagan and
I've been together, not to mention all the other girls I've dated through
the years, you would go and pull some idiotic, some.......some stupid stunt
like this! This is............this is fucked up!"

He'd hurt his mother. He saw it flash in her eyes. Yet cruel as his words
had been, Betty Jo recovered her composure. And when she spoke her voice
was forcibly soft and calm. "Aidan you and I have had this discussion
before; I will not tolerate language like that in this house." Aidan's
protests were cut short by his mother's upheld hand. "No! We'll not discuss
that particular issue any further! Now as to this with Mason; you should
consider yourself lucky to have someone like him who would be so interested
in you. It's clear he practically worships you!......" She drew a ragged
breath before continuing, her eyes boring directly into his.

"Aidan I want you to take a second and think about what I'm going to ask
you. Can you honestly stand there and tell me you've never seen the signs
of how Mason might feel about you? Can you honestly say you've never seen
the way he looks at you? Can you say you've never considered how he can
suddenly rearrange everything on his schedule, just because you're in the
mood to catch a movie or a football game together? Have you never stopped
to consider how, being such a lovely young man with a huge heart, he's
hardly ever had any relationships of his own, how they never seem to work
out? Don't you think these things could, just perhaps, point to his having
feelings for one person.........for you?"

Try as he might Aidan couldn't stop his anger temporarily deflating. He
knew everything his mother had spoken was true. He wasn't an idiot. He'd
seen it, he'd realized it all. Hell, he'd even thought about confronting
Mason about it himself! "Mother I know you meant well. I'm sure you thought
you were doing something for Mason and myself, but I'm getting married
tomorrow! I'm going to marry Meagan. She's......." "Aidan I've never been
one to pry into your love life before now, but Meagan's a bitch."

===============================================================================

Betty Jo wasn't sure which gasped louder, she or her son. She'd never used
language like that before in her life! She'd spent the last ten years
berating Mason and her son for occasionally using foul language. And
now..........

"Son.......I'm......I'm so very sorry. I don't know what I......I can't
believe I...." Aidan's face had grown stony and cold. His voice was quite,
almost a whisper. "I'm glad to see I'm not the only one surprised by your
colorful description of my fiancé. So does the cursing reprimand
thing only work toward Mason and myself? No matter. At least you've been
honest with me. I'm glad to at least know where you stand on the issue. But
tell me, if Meagan and I were only sleeping together would you feel
differently?" "Son I don't like to hear..." Try as he might to retain
control, Aidan couldn't restrain his voice from rising to a shout. "Or
perhaps you would feel better about it if Mason and I really could become
some kind of item. Perhaps if I was fucking him instead of a girl, Mason
wouldn't be a bitch!" "Son!"  "Let's see, what colorful word can we use for
him instead? Bastard perhaps? No? Perhaps you could call him a little
queer......" But whatever other description Aidan might've used to inflict
pain on his mother was cut short by the resounding "SLAP" the echoed
through the room and stinging pain he felt across his cheek.


Some small part of Betty Jo's mind told her she should be horrified at
having just struck her son. She'd hardly ever had to discipline him at all,
let alone to slap him through the face! Yet sorrowful as she was she still
shook with a rage that brought tears to her eyes and caused her every
syllable to shake.

"Go ahead, think me a hypocrite! Perhaps I am. I've never used language
like that before in my life, and for what it's worth, I have no intention
of ever doing so again. I feel horrible about it.......But if you want the
truth, then yes, I utterly despise your `fiance!' She's the most rude, vile
woman I've ever met, not least of all because of how she's treated your
best friend! If you've not seen that by now then you are as big a fool as
your father! It's your business if you want to ruin your life by marrying
her. But I cannot condone it, and I will not stand here and listen to you
insult the one person on this earth who truly loves you as much as I do. If
you don't love Mason beyond your friendship, fine. But you will not
belittle him just to hurt me! It was I who told him to approach you with
the truth of how he felt about you, and it will be I who bares the
consequences of that decision! If you want to hate me for what I've done,
go ahead! I never dreamed I'd be condoning my son to think of a homosexual
relationship, but compared to that sneering, despicable little bimbo you're
gonna stand next to tomorrow I'll take Mason, or any other boy for that
matter, any time!"

=============================================================================

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