Date: Fri, 27 Oct 2006 01:02:09 -0400
From: Sam Davies <samsam345@gmail.com>
Subject: "Harvest" Chapter 8:Change

"Where's Em?" I asked Ryan.

"Oh, she's going to try and stop by later.  She has a doctor's
appointment or something this morning." Ryan replied softly.

We sat quietly in the waiting room anticipating the return of the nurse.
I leaned my head on Ryan's shoulder in an attempt to get some sleep.  He
didn't seem to mind, but at the same time wasn't very accommodating.  He
was shaking like Jello from all the caffeine he'd ingested in the past
twenty four hours.  I really needed him though, so I didn't complain
much.  My eyes were closed tightly to shut out the bright fluorescent
lights that hung above us, but no matter how hard I squinted they still
shown through.  The skin on Ryan's neck smelt wonderful.  So strong and
masculine.  He had been with me since the moment I stepped foot in the
hospital.  I wouldn't let him leave... he was my security blanket.

At last I felt my body begin to surrender to sleep.  My muscles relaxed,
my mind slowed.  I didn't fight it. But it was not meant to be, for I
quickly received an elbow in the gut.  My eyelids snapped open and I
jettisoned to 110% consciousness.  I immediately sat up and took note of
the approaching nurse.  Ryan wiped his palms (greasy from eating potato
chips) on his worn jeans and stood to great her.  I was too tired, so I
remained seated.

"If you two gentlemen would follow me, I have been instructed to take you
to your friend's room." She said without emotion.

I can barely remember how things played out that night.  I remember my
mom tossing me aside violently as she attempted to take care of him. I
remember her climbing into the back of the ambulance with the paramedics
and leaving me standing in the dark.  I remember my dad flying out of the
driveway and speeding down the road towards Justin's house.  And I
remember Ryan holding me in his arms as I shook with fear.  He must have
been the one who brought me here, cause I didn't have my car keys.

About six hours ago a couple of cops approached us and started asking a
bunch of questions.  I relayed to them what I could, but overall I doubt
they got much out of me.  They explained that they strongly believed
Justin's dad was responsible for the beating.  Deputies had stopped by
his house this morning and could not locate him.  They further explained
that they believe that he had fled town and was probably too intoxicated
to remember why.  I explained to them that if it took a badge to figure
all that out they mine as well make me the sheriff.   Ryan apologized
repeatedly to them for my behavior, but said nothing to me about it.

We followed the nurse through a maze of white walls and glistening tiles
for what seemed to me like a half mile before she finally made an abrupt
right turn into one of the rooms.  Ryan went in first, and I followed
close behind.   I was scared to death of what I was going to find in
there.  As I stepped inside the darkened room, the symphony of clicks and
beeps from out in the main ICU fell silent.

Justin was lying in the bed, enshrouded by his green hospital gown.  My
delusional mind found this funny for some reason. Justin... in a gown.
The nurse explained that we were welcome to sit quietly, but were to take
all precautions against waking him up.  I plopped down onto one of the
pink chairs by the window. Ryan watched the bouncing line on Justin's
cardiogram. Finally she left.

I looked at Ryan who also looked at me.  What were we supposed to do
now?  Justin had wires hooked up to him everywhere imaginable, as well as
an oxygen tube up his nose.  This was not the Justin we knew.  The tough
as nails, "I don't give a shit about you pussy ass wimps" Justin who had
just two days earlier claimed to spit on a hippie because he felt like
it.  This was a stranger.  A monotone "beep" emitted from the corner of
the room as a new round of morphine was dripped into the IV bag that
dangled there.  I peaked out the venetian blinds into the bright world.
None of those people walking below me had the slightest clue that my
friend nearly had the life beaten out of him.  That just earlier that
morning he had been taken off the respirator.  Even though my world had
been turn upside down with worry, life went on as normal everywhere else.
I looked over to Justin lying there in his drug induced sleep, and
wondered where his mind was roaming right now.  Hopefully far away from
his shitty life.

Ryan stood next to the bed solemnly.  Ever so gently, he took Justin's
pale hand in his and squeezed it.  He looked up at me with red eyes.

"This is so screwed up." he said sorrowfully.

"I know." I responded.

"Hey." Ryan said to Justin as he choked back tears. "We're here for you
man."

I don't know if it was the lack of sleep or what, but I swear, as Ryan
spoke the slightest hint of a smile ran across the blank face of our
friend.  Ryan stepped back from the bed, and slumped down into a blue
chair next to mine.  A soft whirring came from the air conditioner.  I
closed my eyes and listened to Ryan breathing.  In all this chaos, I felt
safe, and within minutes I drifted to sleep.

Several hours had elapsed when Ryan shook me back to life.

"Hey, we gotta roll." he whispered.

"Hmm. Yeah. Whatever." I grumbled, still half asleep.

Grudgingly I stood up, stretched, and rubbed the lingering fatigue from
my eyes.  I stepped across the room and took a closer inspection of
Justin.  His stomach was swollen from the thirty plus kicks he had
received to it.  Half of his face was buried in black and blue. It was
terrible.  I had waited so long to be able to see him, and once I did, I
fell asleep.  What an ass. I felt horrible leaving him all alone, but I
knew I would be back again before nightfall.

"Yo," I whispered to him, unsure of his capability to here us in his
slumber, "Me and Ry are gonna take off for an our or so.  Brian is back
in town, and they are giving him a parade.  Can you believe that.  Brian
having a parade."

I knew if he could respond he'd rolling on the floor with laughter.
Brian was the last guy in the world who would want a parade in his
honor.  Ryan stood at the door anxiously waiting to leave, so I said
goodbye, and headed out the door.

My eyes burned as I stepped into the bright sunlight.  The heat and
humidity embraced me like an old friend, and I began sweating nearly
instantly.  Ryan, consistently five steps in front of me, kept on looking
back to see where I was.  I felt like telling him to slow down, but I
knew how excited he was to see Brian.   He'd been waiting a really long
time for him to come home, it just sucked that his arrival had to be
marred with all the shit happening to Justin.

After ten minutes of walking we found ourselves strolling down the main
street that ran through town.  Up ahead people lined the road with lawn
chairs and picnic baskets.  It looked kinda like the July 4th parade all
over again. Ryan and I strolled across to the other side of the road, and
sat down on the curb with Kyle who was saving a spot for us outside the
Dairy Queen.

"Hey." he said wearily.

"Hi." Ryan and and I replied in unison.

"So you guys finally got too see him?" Kyle asked.

I let Ryan do the talking. "Yeah, we just left the hospital.  He's doing
really shitty.  His face is all bruised and his stomach is enormous from
the swelling.  He looks kinda like he got hit by a train or something. I
don't know... I am sure he will start to improve in a day or two."

Ryan mumbled himself into silence.

"Was he awake? I called your mom and she said he was sedated."

No, he is still out cold." I said quickly in an attempt to keep Ryan from
opening his mouth.

Even though most of the sunlight was screened through the fluttering
leaves of the cherry tree above us, I could feel its heat pounding on my
back. It had to be the most oppressive day we'd had all summer.  Between
the heat and the humidity, I was surprised people weren't throwing
buckets of water on the street and calling it a sauna.  I know it
probably sounds really rude, but I was not in the mood for a parade.
Even if it was for a good friend.  I didn't feel well and was too tired
to be much company.

"Did you see Brian yet?" Ryan asked, with a giddy tone.

"Yeah for a minute.  He came home like three this morning.  I spoke with
him for like twenty minutes earlier before he had to go be interviewed by
the Herald.  I took off too right after he left." Kyle said monotonously.

"Where did you run off to on such a big day?" I asked.

"Oh. I went over to see Anna," his expression suddenly changed, "I broke
up with her."

"You What! Why?" Ryan practically yelled.

"No fucking way." I said, far too fatigued to voice my contempt.

"Come on Ry... don't give me a hard time." Kyle mumbled, "I just wasn't
getting what I wanted out of the relationship."

I gave him a disapproving glare.

Even in the million and one degree heat I got chills down my spine when
he said this.  Was this?... Did this happen?... Because of me? My already
overwhelmed head churned with the possibilities.  "It would appear..." I
thought to myself, "That you have made quite a mess."  I quietly prayed
as the high school marching band (minus the best sousaphone player
ever...me) stomped towards us that I had not screwed up Kyle's head by
doing gay shit with him.  This was not good at all.  Unfortunately though
this was not the venue to discuss it.

"I know what you mean." Ryan said as he placed his hand on Kyle's
shoulder, "Sometimes I wonder why I put out so much for Emmy when I get
so little in return.  But then I remember how much I love her."

A smile crawled across his face as he said this.  Kyle look like he was
going to be sick.  Maybe he just realized what he had done.

Maple Avenue was filled with all the typical things you would find at a
small town parade.  The rotary club, the mayor in the shiny car, lots of
little kids on bikes decorated with yellow ribbons and American flags. To
be completely honest it was almost a little too cheesy at times. Until
you experience it, you would never believe events like this ever happened
in real life.  After about a half an hour the fire truck pulled down the
road, and let out a long wail with its siren to signal the arrival of the
guest of honor.  As it approached everyone began to wave and cheer and
clap.  It was such a corny crescendo I really didn't want to take part in
it... but I did.  Brian deserved it.  He had seen hell when he was over
there, and god damn it, he needed to know that his friends weren't killed
in vain.

The fire truck was about two hundred feet down the road before you could
even see Brian.  There was such a glare on the windshield it was nearly
impossible to look into the cab where he was sitting.  As he got closer,
the crowd reached a frenzy.  My head pounded but I cheered just like the
rest of them. Brian had a sheepish smile on his face, and stuck his hand
out the window every couple seconds to wave.  He was the guy every man
wanted to be, and every woman wanted to marry.  Strong broad shoulders, a
chiseled chin, and dark hair cropped close to his head.  His uniform of
dark green made him seem even more masculine.  It was shocking how much
older he looked.

I glanced to my right to see Ryan's bright expression.  The only relation
I can draw to his demeanor is that he looked just like a puppy, wagging
his tail because he's glad to see you.  Kyle on the other hand looked
absolutely miserable.  He was slouched over, his chin resting in his
palm.  I couldn't tell if he was angry, or bored, or even a little
scared.  I just knew he was miserable.  You would never have known that
this was his brother who was returning from war. All his body language
seemed to portray significant indifference.

The truck drove past, and there was suddenly a mad rush at the dairy
queen behind us.  It seemed like every person in town and their cousin
was trying to seek relief from the heat.  I stood up wearily, and
addressed Kyle.

"I'm gonna take off.  I am going to go home, eat, sleep, and then go back
to sit with Justin. I'll talk to you later." I mumbled in one big long
breath.

"Ry, can you drive me home?" I asked.

"No problem." was his response.

We strolled leisurely back towards the hospital parking lot.  Ryan
unlocked his truck, and we both hopped in, simultaneously burning our
shoulders on the metal seat belt latches. I laughed meekly and slid into
the cushioned seat.  I felt like shit... all hot and sweaty, exhausted,
hungry, worried... the list could go on forever. The truck must have been
a hundred and twenty plus degrees inside, and I had my finger on the
button to lower the window before the it even started up.  We pulled out
of the hospital, and within minutes were cruising down one of the back
roads towards my house.

The quickly moving air provided much needed relief as it whipped past my
face.  I squinted my eyes shut and fell quickly into my thoughts.  I
thought about Justin, and how he was all alone.  How helpless he was for
the first time in his life.  I thought about Brian and his triumphant
return.  I was excited to see him again, but I really didn't feel like
getting caught up in the whirlwind of activity that was following him
around town. Maybe once things quieted down a little I would stop over to
chat.  I thought about Kyle and how he lied in front of me.  I didn't
know what to do.  How could I help someone who didn't want to acknowledge
all the elements of the problem. I wanted to take him by the hand and
lead him through the darkness, but I couldn't.  I hadn't even found the
way out yet.

I was startled back to reality by the metallic sounds of "La Cucaracha"
coming from Ryan's pocket.  He slowly pulled out his cell phone, and
checked who it was.  His eyes softened and a wide smile appeared.  I knew
that without a doubt it was Emily.

"Hey Sweetie." he said cheerfully.

He quickly described Justin's condition and the parade.  I tried not to
listen, but it is hard not to invade the privacy of someone sitting two
feet away. There was a long pause in the conversation.

"Okay." he said.  Another long pause.

I watched anxiously as his fingers tightened on the steering wheel, and
the color drained from his face.  He became as white as the bleached
linens that fluttered on clotheslines throughout the county.

"Alright." he said, while nodding, "No I am fine."

The truck slowed to a crawl.  I had absolutely no idea what it was that
had shaken him up so much, and honestly didn't even want to guess.  He
switched hands that he used to hold the cell phone, and wiped his sweaty
palm on his jeans.  His chest rose and fell heavily.  There was something
going on, and I was terrified of what it was.

"Yeah. I know," he said in a near whisper, "Okay.  I will call you in a
bit.... Love you too....Bye." He flipped the phone shut.

"Fuck!" he said as he banged on the steering wheel.  I looked at him in
confusion.

He turned slowly, and looked me straight in the eye.

"Emmy's pregnant."

I was frozen.  There was no way I just heard that.  Ryan's words echoed
in my head again and again.  There was no way.  There was absolutely...

"What?" I demanded.

"I know," he said in a low voice, "She was three weeks late and today at
the doctor they gave her a test. I don't know what I'm gonna do."

I  sat in absolute disbelief.  Neither sad, nor happy.  Just shocked.

Ryan pressed his foot against the accelerator and the tires spun in the
dirt.  The truck sped down the remainder of the straight, dust covered
road at easily seventy miles an hour, before shooting off down a small
access road to the right.  This was not the way to my house.  I was a
little confused; but what could I do?  We snaked through the woods for a
few minutes before emerging into a small clearing that was home to a
pump house. Past it... a spectacular opening to the lake.  I looked to
Ryan for explanation, and he addressed my concerns.

"I'll be back in a few minutes.  I need to chill." he said as he exited
the car.  Whatever.

I watched him meander down to the waters edge and crouch down low to the
ground.  Three weeks ago.  How simple things used to be back then.  I
thought about how much we had all changed in that time.  How everything
had become so crazy. Kyle and I, Justin, and now Ryan.  What the fuck was
going on.

Ryan picked up a small stone and tossed it into the water... and then
another...and then another.  With each toss a new set of rapidly
expanding concentric circles, reaching out and touching those circles
which grew next to it.  A thick and sticky breeze blew through the open
windows of the truck.  The leaves in the surrounding forest rustled in
excitement.  I waited.

 Ryan was gonna be a dad.

I laughed at myself.  As if he wasn't already.  Emmy must been scared
shitless, but I knew Ryan wasn't.  I think he was just worried  about how
he was gonna add more weight to his already heavy load.  As it stood he
had a full plate between work and helping out his mom.  Now this?  It
seemed highly unlikely that he was gonna be able to pull it off.  But I
knew he would find a way.  That was just who he was.  He could always
find a way.  Over the lake a hazy gray sky began to block out the sun.
The breeze picked up a little more.  The whole world seemed ripe with
uncertainty.

I leaned my head back into the seat and listened to the whispers of the
woods.  Birds sang. Water lapped against the shore.  A couple squirrels
chirped from high in their trees.  They were all talking about
something.  Sharing a secret I wasn't supposed to know.  But I did.  The
meaning of their hurried song was clear as day.

A change was coming.