Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2004 17:53:18 EDT
From: RitchChristopher@cs.com
Subject: nifty/gay-male/adult-friends/if-love-were-all-11

All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or
are offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language,
please exit now.

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                                IF LOVE WERE ALL

                                       by

                                Ritch Christopher


                           With literary enhancement by


                                    Les Martin




                                  Chapter Eleven


                                  "DAYS GONE BY"


                * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

	Toby hadn't really understood completely what he'd overheard during
Buddy and Clint's conversation. He knew that it was serious and he became
scared when Buddy said something about being ill and dying. What frightened
Toby even more was the part about Clint wanting to stay with Buddy forever
and then the noises Clint and Buddy were making while having sex. Toby felt
rejected as if he had been replaced in Buddy's life by Clint. Therefore
Toby decided not to knock or try to enter Buddy's room as he had
planned. He turned to walk down the hall to his own bedroom instead, but
then he suddenly changed his mind and went into Marc's room instead.

	Marc was sound asleep but woke instantly when he felt Toby crawling
into bed with him. At first Marc didn't say anything, but waited to see
what Toby wanted to do since Marc was aware of Toby's late night entries
into Buddy's room. Marc decided to lay there quietly until Toby settled
down. Marc was facing the outside of his bed and Toby eased in to allow his
back to cuddle into Marc's front assuming a spoon position. Toby's final
move was to take Marc's hand and drape it over Toby's waist and he lay
still. Marc felt the urge to speak.

	"Toby, what the heck are you doing?"

	"I...I want you to hold me, Marc."

	"I thought that's what you expected Buddy to do."

	"Not tonight."

	"Frankly, Toby, I don't think I'm up for this. I mean you've never
so much as looked at me twice as your older brother, much less shown any
kind of physical affection...course, I guess I'm just as guilty as you."

	"Marc, will you hold me close to you, please?"

	"Why should I?"

	"Because late at night, I get scared...real scared. Buddy
understands and he holds me tight until I feel safe."

	"How long as this been going on, Toby?"

	"A long, long time."

	"What are you afraid of?"

	"Things I see and hear in my room while it's dark."

	"What things?"

	"Shadows on my wall from the street light outside my window...and
this time of the year, when the wind blows, I hear branches scraping the
roof and the wind whistles and howls like a wolf."

	"You've just told me what they really are...branches, the wind..."

	"Sometimes my bedroom door opens and closes several times after
I've gone to bed. I...I'm sure...or at least, I HOPE it's MOM...but I'm
never sure."

	"Well, I can promise you that I've never opened your door...but you
know what? When I was about your age, MY door used to open several times
late at night. It didn't frighten me though, I just felt safe that Mom and
Dad were checking to see if I was all right."

	"Marc, can I ask you something?"

	"Sure."

	"What does 'HIV positive' mean?"

	"Where did you hear that?"

	"On television," Toby lied, "it was on a commercial."

	"HIV is a condition of the body where your immune systems stops
fighting germs and diseases that we come in contact with daily."

	"What do you mean?"

	"Toby, nearly everything, everywhere has germs on it...the dish
cloths, the towels we use in the bathroom, even the food we buy at the
grocery store like fresh produce...they have hundreds of germs on
them. That's when the built-in immune system in our body takes over and
fights the germs so that they don't stay in our bodies and make us
sick. But when a person gets HIV or AIDS, the system stops working and all
kinds of bad things can get into our bloodstream or other parts of our
bodies and the immune system can no longer combat them or fight them off."

	"How do you get it?"

	"Several ways...infected blood transfusions, using a dirty needle
while shooting up drugs, exchanging body fluids during sex...many ways."

	"Can a person die who's HIV positive?"

	"Yes, if they don't take medicine to strengthen their immune
systems and it gets worse and goes into AIDS. By then, your body is
susceptible to any kinds of germs and something as slight as a head cold
can kill you."

	"If you get it, can you get well?"

	"Not totally, but you can keep it in check with diet, exercise, and
medication so that it won't go into AIDS."

	"And if you don't, you can die?"

	"Maybe."

	Toby respected Marc's knowledge of science and knew that Marc was
telling him the truth. Now Toby was horrified with the thought that Buddy
had HIV and could die from it and he tried to snuggle closer into Marc's
body.

	"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Buster! What do you think you're doing? You're
not trying to start some kind of sex with me, are you?"

	"No, stupid! I just want you to hold me...PLEASE, MARC, PLEASE!
Buddy and I have never done anything nasty like Mom accused us of...and I
don't want to do anything nasty with you. I just want you to make me feel
safe."

	"All right, Toby, but wouldn't you feel safer with Buddy's arms
around you?"

	"Probably, but Buddy has his arms around Clint, just now."

	"How do you know?"

	"I heard them while they were doing things to each other."

	"Are you sure? BUDDY AND CLINT? What kind of things?"

	"Things Mom would call nasty."

	"You mean they're having sex?"

	"Yes."

	"Marc you must be mistaken. I mean, sure, we all know Buddy is gay
but we also know that Clint is NOT gay."

	"Maybe he wasn't before he came over here tonight, but he sure is
now!"

	"Son-of-a-bitch!" Marc exclaimed. "In all the books I've read about
homosexuality, I've never seen anything about anyone changing from straight
to gay so quickly. This contradicts everything printed on the subject."

	"Marc, I don't know what your books tell you, but I think
everything that happens at this house contradicts everything on every
subject."

	"You might be right, Toby, you just might be."

	"Marc, I'm sorry I called you stupid a few minutes ago."

	"That's all right, Toby, I'm beginning to see that I've been stupid
about a lot of things lately."

	"No, Marc, you're the smartest brother of us three."

	"You know, Marc, I guess I've been a bad brother to you."

	"No, Marc, you haven't been a bad brother...just not a very good
one."


<><><><><><><><><>


	The following day, Scott made an appointment with Charles Alford to
have his blood checked. Charles asked no embarrassing questions. If Scott
was Buddy's secret 'partner', there was no reason to exploit the
situation. Charles became puzzled when Clint Walters came by his office
seeking the same blood test. Now Charles was confused wondering whether
Buddy's partner was Scott or Clint... since Buddy had told him that there
was only ONE partner. So, in trying to ease the doubt of everyone's minds,
Charles ordered a twenty-four hour prelim report that would come back to
his office the following day.

	Scott didn't go to sleep at all the night Buddy had told him the
HIV news. He called in sick at the university the next day to keep his
appointment with Dr. Alford. Neither Buddy nor Scott made an effort to
contact one another. Scott told Kathy that he had come down with a virus
and needed to isolate himself from her and the boys and so he made out the
sofa bed in the den to try to get some sleep. However, feeling over-anxious
about the initial lab finding, he couldn't go to sleep that night
either. So, once again, he called the university to say he wouldn't be in
due to a 'bug' he was fighting.

	It was nearly four in the afternoon when Charles called Scott with
the bad news. Charles took time to explain about the 'false positive'
report and what it meant, as he had explained to Buddy. Scott was stunned
after Charles' message and started to panic. What he feared most had
suddenly become a reality. There was no 'false positive' since Buddy's and
his results were the same...two negatives and two positives always revealed
a positive answer. He was certain now that he had it, but what was he going
to live with it for the rest of his life?

	Charles had tried to reach Clint at Clint's house but George told
Charles that Clint was spending a few days at the Browne house and offered
to give Charles, the Browne's phone number to which Charles thanked George
and said that he had the Browne's number. So next, Charles called Buddy's
house to speak with Clint.

	"Clint?"

	"Yes?"

	"This is Dr. Alford calling with the preliminary results of your
HIV exam."

	"Yessir?"

	"Clint, I won't be absolutely sure what the final report will say
in two weeks, but the one I got today shows you are HIV negative."

	"Doctor, that is so good to hear!"

	"Now, I don't expect bad news from the later report, but there is
always a chance."

	"That's OK, Doctor. I'll wait before I celebrate, but I knew I was
all right."

	"Then why don't you accept this as a clean bill of health and
practice safe sex from now on?"

	"I always have, Doctor...and always will!"

	"That's good, son! Keep on doing it!"

	"I will, sir."

	"I...I understand from my son, Seth, that you're Buddy's best
friend?"

	"For years, sir."

	"Can I ask how he's doing?"

	"He was a little upset last night until I came over to stay with
him a few days, but then after we went to bed, he seemed to settle down
completely."

	"Then I think he's very lucky to have you as his best friend."

	"Doctor, there's no reason for us to quibble words or semantics. I
know what Buddy's HIV report said and I want you to know that whatever his
final result reveals, I'm here to take care of him...for the rest of our
lives if necessary."

	"You...uh...are willing to commit yourself to him, no matter what?"

	"No matter what, Doctor."

	"Then Buddy is indeed lucky."

	"He's not just lucky, Doctor Alford, he's loved. I love him and I
told him so last night."

	"You're saying that..."

	"That I'm gay? Yes, you're the first person I've told besides
Buddy. I wasn't sure until last night, but no one has ever meant as much to
me as Buddy...or ever will. If he IS sick or HIV positive, then I'm going
to be with him to take care of him from now on. SO, if there are any
doctor's orders you want to give him...or any medicines he has to take, I
want you to include me with whatever you have to say to him."

	"I...I will, if Buddy agrees."

	"Oh, he will! I can promise you that!"

	"It sounds as if Buddy has acquired a guardian angel."

	"I'm no angel, believe me, but I am Buddy's lover."

	"Then, congratulations, Clint...to both of you! If I had been able
to prescribe anything for Clint, it would have been someone like you."

	"Thanks, doctor. I'm glad you called with my good news. I hope to
hear from you in two weeks about me...AND Buddy!"

	"I'll call you as soon as I hear something."

	Charles hung up the phone and surmised, 'If Clint is negative, does
that mean Buddy had sex with the teacher? DAMN! Times...they certainly are
a changin'!'


<><><><><><><><><><><><>


	Amy Alford came by to visit Lisa at the hospital Wednesday
afternoon to tell Lisa how marvelous she looked after her rest-cure
confinement. Amy was delighted to hear that Lisa and Ted would be leaving
on their trip four days earlier than originally planned and was more than
willing to go to Lisa's house and pack two suitcases of clothing for her,
primarily for two reasons. First, Lisa didn't trust Ted to include every
item she would need in Schofield, and secondly, Amy had been with Lisa when
Lisa's new clothing was bought and Amy would know just what to pack... and
with matching accessories. Lisa had also written a brief list telling Amy
to find the other things she would need. This pleased Ted to no end as it
took the responsibility, and possibly future blame, off his shoulders. At
this point, Ted could care less whether Lisa wore a black Versace original
or a pair of coveralls from The Navy Store.

	If Ted had had any idea about the report Charles Alford had read to
Buddy, he would have cancelled the trip immediately. But since he didn't
know, all of Ted's thoughts were concentrated on seeing Rex again.

	Ted called Manhattan directory assistance and got Rex's office
number and dialed it the day of Amy's visit to see Lisa. Ted was nervously
excited with jitters and heart palpitations as the phone rang. Rex's
secretary answered the phone and transferred the call to Rex's private
office.

	"Hello?"

	"Rex?"

	"Yes...TED? Is that you?"

	"Yes, it is!"

	"Damn! I was just thinking about you."

	"I suppose some things never change because I've been thinking
about you for a whole week now..."

	"Then you've changed your mind! You ARE coming to the reunion!"

	"Yes, but my plans have changed slightly and I called to see if you
could rearrange YOUR schedule to fit mine."

	"What IS your schedule, Ted."

	"Well, a lot has happened since we talked...and I DO mean a lot! I
don't want to go into all the details over the phone, but Lisa has gone
through some things which upset her, emotionally, and she's been in the
hospital."

	"My God, Ted! I hope it isn't something serious?"

	"No, she's been having some family problems with the boys and I
talked with her and we decided that we'd come to Schofield on Monday
afternoon and stay the entire week. I thought that the extra few days might
be good for her."

	"Monday, huh?"

	"Yes, and I was wondering if it were possible for you to come
Monday, as well?"

	"Where are you planning to stay?"

	"At the Beekman Hotel."

	"Ted, can you hold on for a few minutes? I have something I need to
tell my secretary!"

	"Sure, buddy, I'll hang on as long as you like."

	"Thanks!"

	Rex pressed the button on his phone to put Ted on hold and then he
rang for his secretary.

	"Yes, Mr. Hastings?"

	"Mary, I want you to do me a favor. Please stop whatever you're
doing. This matter is top priority!"

	"Yes, sir!"

	"Mary, I want you to call the Beekman Hotel in Schofield, Vermont,
and see if you can reserve me a suite beginning next Monday. Can you do
that ASAP, please?"

	"Yes, sir!"

	"If the hotel can accommodate my request, then I want you to call
the Hill House in Schofield and cancel the room I have reserved for next
Thursday. Got that?"

	"Yes, sir."

	"I'll wait until you can confirm the Beekman reservation."

	Rex's mind began to race while he waited. He couldn't believe that
Ted had called and wanted to see him three days earlier. Something serious
must have happened between Ted and Lisa's relationship, otherwise Ted
wouldn't have invited him to join him on Monday.

	Three minutes later, Mary buzzed Rex and told him that everything
was arranged and Rex sighed a happy relief. Then he returned to Ted's
call."

	"Ted?"

	"Yes?"

	"Guess what?"

	"What?"

	"I...I just confirmed a suite at the Beekman for myself for
Monday."

	"What about your work? Can you get away a few extra days?"

	"Buddy boy, I'd close down and sell my business for those few extra
days to spend with you."

	"Thanks, Rex."

	"Jesus! Don't thank me!"

	Ted's voice took on a more serious timbre. "Listen Rex, I...I heard
about what happened to your family and I can't tell you how sorry I am."

	"Thanks, Ted. It's been hard trying to readjust my life. Maybe this
is something we shouldn't talk about on the phone, either, but...but I
almost ended it."

	"Good God, Rex!"

	"I might have done it, but then I saw the invitation to our reunion
and picked up our old annual and looked at your picture. Then I found your
class ring...and suddenly I wanted nothing more in the world than to see
you again."

	"I...I have your ring in my safe at the office. I tried it on last
week and it still fits."

	"Was there some particular reason why you tried it on?"

	"I suddenly missed you, too."

	"Ted, are you trying to say something to me...? Something we BOTH
should have said twenty-five years ago?"

	"You mean that I loved you back then?"

	"Yes, and I loved you too! God, what a mess we made by not being
truthful to one another!"

	"I know--I've had years to regret it!"

	"Did you ever get over it, Ted?"

	"I guess I thought I had..."

	"And now...?"

	"What do you mean, Rex?"

	"Do you think you could ever love me again?"

	"I don't think I ever stopped loving you, Rex."

	"I KNOW I never stopped loving you."

	"Damn! Looks like we're a couple of old fools."

	"Can you believe that we're having this conversation?"

	"No...I guess I'm more surprised than you. I mean, you...you're
alone now with no family and I still have Lisa and my three sons."

	"Ted, is there any chance...?"

	"Yes, Rex, a BIG one!"

	"You mean that you and Lisa...? Or rather, you and I...?"

	"Yes, to both of your questions."

	"My God, Ted! I don't think I can wait until Monday to hold you in
my arms."

	"I've longed for years to hold you once again, too."

	"Jesus Christ! I won't sleep a wink from now until Monday!"

	"You'd better! I want you rested and ready to spend all of Monday
night with you!"

	"What about Lisa? How will you get away?"

	"Lisa has so many goddamned tranquilizers. If she takes one, she
just might sleep through Friday and miss the reunion dance. I don't think
I'll have a problem getting away from her. Maybe I shouldn't reveal this,
but Lisa and I haven't slept in the same bed for years. She'll probably ask
me to rent her a room all by herself in Schofield. Then you and I can get
together in my room or yours!"

	"You realize as we're talking that we're rearranging our whole
lives?"

	"I don't give a damn, Rex. I want to be with you!"

	"Want me to set the phone down while I cry tears of joy?"

	"As long as they're happy tears! You and I have waited so
long. It's time we both shared a little of the happiness we've missed out
on for a quarter of a century."

	"I have lots of things I'd like to say right now, but I want to say
them to you while we're alone."

	"Me too. I'll hang up now by saying, 'I love you, Rex.'."

	"And I love you, too, Ted."

	They ended their conversation, each in his own dream world of what
might've happened and what was YET to happen.


<><><><><><><><><><>

	Thursday morning, Scott decided he couldn't fake his influenza any
longer and needed to return to work. The marching band had to perform for
Saturday afternoon's game. He hoped that Buddy wouldn't be at practice and
he's use Phil Newsom as drum major as he didn't want to risk Buddy getting
tired and perhaps collapsing due to his unofficial HIV-positive status. But
as soon as Scott arrived at the CU band room, there was a note taped to his
office door saying that Dean Cunningham wanted to see him as soon as he
arrived.

	Scott took a deep breath to go face the music, so to speak, but not
the kind Sousa wrote. Before he left, he told Phil to organize the
rehearsal and that HE would be drum major at Saturday's game. Then he went
to see the Dean.

	Clare, Dean Cunningham's secretary, was expecting Scott and ushered
him into the Dean's office.

	"Good morning, Scott."

	"Morning, sir."

	"I hope you're feeling much better?"

	"Yes...I had one of those twenty-four hour bugs which decided to
stay with me a couple of days more."

	"Please, sit down, Scott, and let's talk."

	"Thank you."

	Scott sat down opposite Dean Cunningham at his desk and the Dean
took a long look at Scott and sighed before he spoke.

	"Scott, do you have any idea why I wanted to see you this morning?"

	"I...I could think of a number of reasons...to inquire about my
health... to ask how the band routine is going to be this Saturday! Lots of
reasons..."

	"You...uh, didn't mention the one that concerns me most."

	"Sir?"

	"Scott, there are more rumors flying around this campus than
hornets in a nest."

	"Sir?"

	"There is ONE rumor I'd like you to dispel if you can...."

	"I'll try, sir."

	"The one about YOU and Buddy Browne going to a motel together... Is
that true?"

	"I...I suppose I could deny it, but I'm sure you have a witness
that says otherwise. I see that Louise Drummond wasted no time in calling
you."

	"Louise Drummond, huh? The call I received was from an anonymous
caller. She didn't give her name...but the mere fact that you know who it
was makes me think that what she said might be true."

	"Then there's no sense in trying to deny it. YES, I was at a motel
with Buddy Browne!"

	"Was it more than just you two stopping at the motel coffee shop
for coffee and a snack?"

	"Dean, Buddy and I went there for the usual reason that people go
to a motel in the afternoon."

	"To have...sex?"

	"Yes, sir."

	"You realize that by admitting what you just did, that you have
committed a violation of the university code concerning faculty and student
intimate relations, don't you?"

	"I'm afraid I do, Dean."

	"If this were an isolated incident where no one knew about it, I
might be able to let you off with a reprimand, but since so many students
and professors have heard the same rumor, I'm afraid you've gone too far
and the matter is out of my hands. The University Board will ask me to
demand your resignation or terminate your employment."

	"I understand your position, Dean, and accept the consequence of my
actions."

	"I'm glad, Scott. That will make everything easier for both of us."

	"May I ask what's going to happen to Buddy?"

	"There's nothing in the code about punishing the student. I might
call him into my office and talk with him, but he won't be suspended, in
case you're worried."

	"That makes me feel better. I guess it's just as well. Bad things
come in a streak."

	"Something else bad has happened? Your family, maybe?"

	"No, my family is fine, at least for a little while anyway."

	"Do you care to tell me about it, Scott?"

	"Dean, I just got word two days ago that I might be HIV positive."

	"Oh, dear Lord! We...the university has no rules about terminating
an employee due to an illness. Very frankly, I wish that THAT had been the
rumor! I guess we can be glad that Louise didn't know about that!"

	"Yes, because Buddy's reputation at school would have been ruined
for sure."

	"Scott, are you intimating that Buddy is HIV positive as well?"

	"I'm afraid I don't know the answer to that. If he IS, then that's
his business and not mine. I'd be worse than Louise if I said that about
Buddy...and I WON'T because I don't know!"

	"You haven't told Kathy about your condition?"

	"No, I've been too much of a coward to tell her because once she
hears, she'll snatch my two sons away from me and I'll never see them or
hear from them again!"

	"You WILL tell her, won't you?"

	"Eventually, but...hell, I'll have a tougher time telling her that
I've lost my job, here at the university. Her imagination for the reason
will be worse than the truth."

	"I'm so sorry, Scott! I wish there was something I could do."

	"It's my row to hoe, so it's my decision how to plant it."

	"Scott, I realize that this is a bit premature to ask, and also
that you don't owe me an answer, but do you have any idea what you might
do?"

	"I...I might tell Kathy to take the boys to see their
grandparents... Kathy's mom and dad, and then I might go home to visit my
mom in Florida. I had a best friend when I went to high school in
Florida...Clay Lawson. He's a doctor, working in medical research. I may
try to look him up and see what he can do with my physical condition."

	"Pardon my offering you fatherly advice, but that seems like a good
plan."

	"I...I haven't seen my mother for several years...and, well, as for
Clay... I'll find him somehow."
	"I...I wish you luck, Scott."

	"Thanks, Dean Cunningham."

	"I am indeed sorry."

	"I, too. Dean, is it all right if I just leave without having to
say goodbye to the band?"

	"I can see how you'd want to do that...so, yes, go ahead. I've got
to call the board to see what we can do about replacing you immediately."

	"Goodbye, Dean."

	"Goodbye, Scott."

	Scott carefully sneaked to his car and drove home.


<><><><><><><><>


	The simplest way to say it is that Buddy and Clint were in
love. Clint's new found strength in helping Buddy to cope with this
possible illness gave Clint a sense of responsibility he'd never
known. Buddy was still showing no outward signs of being HIV positive,
which gave him the courage to ignore his initial diagnosis until the final
lab report was sent to Dr. Alford. But Buddy loved this new feeling of
being loved and cared for. In all the years Buddy and Clint had been best
friends, they'd never had a big quarrel or fight...a fewdisagreements
maybe, but nothing to jeopardize their brotherhood. Since the two of them
knew practically everything there was to know about each other, it was
wonderfully easy for them to take their relationship to the next level.

	During the course of their first full week together, they had
learned to enjoy sex in every conceivable safe way, for sex was only an
extension of their love and the stronger feeling they now shared. They both
were a bit reticent the first time they tried anal sex, but aswith nearly
all gay guys, the initial pain passed and they learned to enjoy it. Buddy
insisted though that when Clint performed oral sex on him, Buddy would
cover himself with a condom. They felt that there was no sense in taking a
chance and endanger the long future they now planned together.

	Ted could easily see that the two boys' relationship seemed to
progress each morning at the breakfast table and more so at night before
they went to bed. Needless to say, Ted was envious when he thought how he
and Rex might have enjoyed an almost open romance and he was pleased to
afford them the chance that had never come to pass for him when he was
their age. Ted had had several private conversations with George Walters,
Clint's dad, and George seemed to be as pleased as Ted when Ted reported
that their two sons were no longer just best friends, but a couple.

	The only problem George would encounter was how much it was going
to cost him to get his wife, Clint's mother, to accept having a gay son
with a lover...maybe a mink coat, a diamond ring, or a Mercedes or
Jaguar...something terribly expensive for sure, but in the long run,
nothing was too costly for his son's happiness.

	Ted wasn't the only one envious of Buddy and Clint, Toby had gone
into a semi-withdrawal thinking he'd lost his idol forever. Toby had always
lived and breathed for Buddy's attention, but now most of it was going to
Clint which made Toby sad. Marc might have been the least educated in
affairs of the heart, in spite of getting Sandy pregnant, but Marc became
aware of the new closeness between Buddy and Clint and saw that Toby felt
as if he had been cast aside. So, to ease matters for Buddy and Toby, Marc
began inviting Toby to come into his room every night to be held, though
Marc still didn't like the idea that Toby wanted to be so close to his
body.

	It wasn't that Toby turned Marc on in an incestuous way because
Marc never got a boner when Toby scrunched himself tightly next to Marc,
but to be on the safe side and to make sure that Toby didn't get any funny
ideas, Marc began to put on two pairs of white briefs and a jockstrap
before he went to bed. After the usual one or two hours 'holding' session,
Toby would go back to his bedroom and Marc would take off one pair of
briefs and the jock to make the rest of his night comfortable.

	Marc had never felt a strong affection for either of his
brothers. They rarely played sports together and only occasionally competed
on computer or digital games. They talked, ate together, and lived
together, usually peacefully, and that had been about the extent of Marc's
involvement with Buddy and Toby. Marc was no dummy, he had seen the changes
in Buddy and Clint during the week and had accepted it. If that's what it
took to make Buddy happy, then so be it! Besides, in many ways Marc liked
Clint more than he did his own brother and he all but gave Clint and Buddy
his blessing because that meant Clint might be moving in at the Browne
household permanently...at least until his mom came home from the hospital
to boot Clint, and possibly Buddy, out the door.

	So things ran smoothly through Sunday and Ted announced to the four
boys that he was taking Lisa to Vermont for a full week beginning the next
day and the five of them settled on chores and house rules...no drinking,
smoking, partying, or unnecessary messing up the house. Ted gave Buddy
two-hundred dollars to pay for groceries, take-out food, DVD and video
rentals, and a night at the movies the following weekend. The boys promised
to behave themselves and hoped that Ted would have a great time at the
reunion. Not one of his three sons wished the same for their mom because,
strangely, she was never mentioned...and for some uncanny reason, not one
of them had missed her for the entire past week. It was as if they had
enjoyed being away from her but no one dared to say it out loud. Ted was
mindful of this, but he was even more cognizant of Lisa not wanting to come
home to see her sons.

	Ted wondered, 'Did she mean it when she said that they were now MY
sons and she wanted nothing more to do with them?'. Could Lisa never
forgive Marc for getting his girlfriend pregnant, or catching Toby
masturbating? But the greatest problem facing them as a family was Lisa
having to accept that Buddy was now openly gay! If these were her true
feelings, would she ever come home to see them again. Would she want a
divorce or want to separate and give custody of them to Ted completely?
But, even more important, if she decided to leave the four men in her life,
would or could this be a miraculous opening for Ted to pursue a new
relationship with Rex? So much had happened over the past two weeks at the
Browne house and yet, it looked as if MORE things were about to happen!


<><><><><><><><><>

	On his way home from the university, Scott decided that the best
course of action would be to follow his proposal he'd made in Dean
Cunningham's office. He knew after living all the years with Kathy, it was
pointless to lie to her. Even the smallest white lie he'd told her always
came back to haunt him twofold when and Kathy had found out the truth, as
she always did. He didn't want to quarrel with her or create a scene in
front of Skip and Bobby, so when he returned home, he asked Kathy to come
into the bedroom to talk.

	Scott knew that Kathy would cry at first and then get very
angry. He had so many things to tell her, it was difficult to decide which
bad news to break to her first. He began by telling her that he had just
been fired from his job which caused, as expected, a tearful, angry
outburst from Kathy. Then his second confession about Buddy and having sex
with him at a motel, drove her right to the edge. Finally Scott went in for
the kill, announcing he more than likely was HIV positive and this sent her
packing. She stormed out of the bedroom to the hallway closet, got down
three large suitcases and began to pack as many of hers and the boys
clothes as would fit into them. She didn't say a word to Scott, nor would
she even look at him. If she had a gun, no doubt she would have shot him
dead instantly.

	Next, she took the bags to her car, came back inside to get the two
boys and told them that they were going away on a trip to their
grandparents. Scott knelt down to kiss his two sons goodbye, but Kathy
yanked them away before Scott could even hug them. She took Skip and Bobby
to the car and fastened their seatbelts and returned to the house for one
final time to see if there was anything else she had forgotten or wanted to
take with her. As she got to the door, she turned to Scott and said, "I
hope your HIV turns into full-blown AIDS and you die and rot in hell for
all eternity! I'll be back here in two weeks and I don't want you to be
here! As far as I'm concerned, you've seen the kids for the last time. I
never want them to be around ANY degenerate like you! Scott, our marriage,
for what little there was of it, is over! IF you live long enough, the only
time that I want to see you again is in the divorce court! GOODBYE, QUEER!
IT'S BEEN A GAS!"

	Then Kathy went to the car and sped away toward her parents' house,
leaving Scott totally alone, slumped on the floor weeping. He stayed in
that position for nearly an hour without moving. When he finally got up, he
decided to continue with step two of his plan. He called the airlines and
bought a ticket on the eight o'clock flight to Fort Lauderdale, just across
Highway #441 to his mother's house in Plantation. When he called her to say
he was coming for a visit, his mother was delighted and said that she would
meet him at the Fort Lauderdale/Hollywood Airport.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX A QUICK AUTHOR'S NOTE: If any of you are
reading this story and have yet to read, "Lush Life", this would be a good
time to read, "LL" in the Nifty adult-friends section to learn of Scott's
attempt to find Clay, his teen best friend and first lover.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

	Everything went according to schedule on Monday. After filling the
trunk of his car with four suitcases for Lisa, which Amy Alford had packed,
and one small suitcase containing his clothes, Ted went to the hospital to
pick up Lisa after she was discharged, then they headed straight for Logan
Airport. Just over an hour later, they landed in Schofield, Vermont. Ted
could have counted on one hand, with fingers left over to spare,the words
Lisa said to him during the flight.

	From there, Ted and Lisa took a cab to the Beekman Hotel where Lisa
insisted on seeing the room before she agreed to register. They left their
bags with the desk clerk and took an elevator to the seventh floor. Lisa
took one quick look and went back to the lobby, insisting that the
accommodations would not do. She wanted a two bedroom suite with a
connecting bath. She explained to the hotel manager that she had spent the
last two weeks in the hospital due to an emotional condition and she needed
to rest in a private room and NOT in the same room with her husband. Ted
stood speechless as he watched his wife rearrange their lodging, while
privately to himself, he hoped she would get her wish. This way, he could
come and go without her seeing him and he could sneak away for a liaison
with Rex.

	After making a few changes in his roster, the Beekman manager
complied with Lisa's request and found a large suite of rooms on the
eleventh floor. However, again Lisa insisted on seeing them first. When Ted
saw the size of the rooms, he knew the cost would be sky high, but this
didn't seem to bother Lisa because the new setup met with her approval and
she asked the manager to have her bags sent up to her private
bedroom. Knowing that he would have more chance to be alone with Rex, he
deemed the expensive cost of the new rooms well worth the price.

	When they were settled in the adjoining rooms, Ted knocked before
entering Lisa's to ask about dinner plans. She told Ted that the long,
strenuous, hour's flight had exhausted her, and after all, she'd just been
discharged earlier from an arduous two weeks' stay in the
hospital. Therefore, she needed her rest and would order dinner from room
service; afterwards, she would take her medication and do the best she
could to get a good night's sleep. She suggested that Ted go to a nearby
restaurant and maybe to a movie later. Ted replied nicely for her not to
worry, he was sure he could find something to do to entertain himself.

	Ted had seen a men's salon across from the hotel, so, as soon as he
left Lisa, he went back down the elevator, out the door, and into the
barber's chair. He asked the female barber to style his hair and change the
color slightly, if she thought it appropriate for a man his age. After
cutting his hair, the stylist chose a warm chestnut-brown hair dye and
streaked it with golden tips before styling it. Then Ted treated himself to
a facial and manicure. When the makeover was finished, Ted was more than
pleased, hardly recognizing himself! He left the salon feeling like the
million dollars he would never make and headed to a nearby men's clothing
store. Hell, if Lisa could spend a small fortune on clothes, why shouldn't
he?

	A very obvious gay clerk waited on Ted and Ted told him to pick out
lots of clothes that would make him look younger...all the latest men's
fashions! Ted tried on nearly a dozen new outfits...things he normally
would never select for himself, but he wanted to look special for Rex. By
the time he left the store, Ted had purchased nearly two-thousand dollars
worth of clothing. Thank God, he only had to carry the tall pile of boxes
less than a block to return to the hotel. One of the bellmen saw his
dilemma and rushed to help him carry his new wardrobe to his room.

	Ted took every item out of the boxes and hung them in the closet or
stored them in a bureau drawer, but only after taking time to pick out what
he wanted to wear for dinner. The hairstylist had sold him a shower cap to
keep his hair from being mussed while bathing. So, donning the cap, Ted
took a long relaxing shower, dried off, and dressed himself to become the
new, younger Ted. As he looked into the full-length mirror, Ted thought he
looked better than he had at any time of his life. 'God, if only Rex feels
the same way!'

	He wished to God he had stolen one of Lisa's tranquilizers when he
saw his hand shake when picked up the phone to call the front desk. he had
difficulty controlling his voice as he asked if Rex Hastings had checked in
yet.

	"Yes, sir, he arrived a few minutes ago. We had a little trouble
with his room and he is now in a suite on the seventh floor."

	Ted thought to himself, 'I might yet get to sleep in that room that
Lisa didn't like!' "Could you ring his room for me?"

	"I'll be happy to, Mr. Browne!"

	The phone rang ten rings and Rex didn't answer.

	"Shall I keep trying, sir?"

	"No, thank you, I'll...I'll try again, later."

	"Yes, sir!"

	Ted became more nervous, more excited, impatient, and fearful all
at the same time, wondering where Rex was? Ted sank weakly, sitting on the
side of the bed with the phone still in his hand. He got up and tapped on
Lisa door to check on her. She didn't reply to his light knock, so he
carefully cracked the door just a few inches and saw Lisa sleeping, out
like a light. If she had taken at least one pill from each of her new
prescriptions, more than likely, she'd sleep through dinner and the rest of
the night to boot!

	Ted closed Lisa's door and went to the dresser for one final look
at his new appearance. THE COLOGNE! Damn! Ted had bought several fragrances
he had never tried before and wanted to pick JUST the right one for
Rex. The handsome young man at the men's boutique had shown Ted how to
spray just a dab on a piece of light cardboard to sample the essence of
each one. He took the cardboard which lined one of new shirts and dispersed
a small amount from each of the six new bottles on various areas and began
to whiff. Ah, 'Contradiction' by Calvin Klein, was definitely the most
alluring. So, as by instruction, he shot three or four sprays into the air
in front of him and walked through the mist. Why had no one ever showed him
to do this before?  He, like most men, always poured Old Spice or Aqua
Velva in his palms and splashed it on the face, neck, and shirt
collar. Wasn't that the way REAL men donned fragrances?

	Being totally certain of the way he looked, he decided that since
he had no access to a tranquilizer, perhaps a drink at the bar in the lobby
would do the trick. He locked the outside door leading to his bedroom and
did a quick knob turn on Lisa's door to make sure it was locked and then he
headed to the elevator which took him downstairs to the bar in the lobby.

	The Lion's Lair Lounge was crowded because it was two-for-one
cocktail hour and all the barstools were taken. A waiter saw Ted and was
instantly attracted to him and pointed to a small table for two in one of
the corners.It had been so long since Ted had been noticed by
anyone...female or male, that he lapped up the attention that was being
paid to him, not only by the waiter, but from many men and women as he
crossed between their tables. Damn! Why hadn't he ever made himself over
before? This new feeling was more than Ted could've ever imagined. If he
looked that good to everyone here in the bar, then Rex would surely take
notice of him!

	The waiter introduced himself to Ted as Terry and asked if Ted
would prefer a cocktail or an aperitif? Not really sure what an aperitif
was, Ted asked the waiter what he would recommend. Terry was pleased by the
confidence in his taste and told Ted that he would bring him one of his own
favorites. A few minutes later, the waiter returned with a small pony
filled with clear liquid. Ted thanked him and took a sip of the mysterious
concoction. It had a slight taste of mint, chocolate, and orange
flavor. Terry was watching from across the room to see Ted's reaction...yea
or nay? Ted raised his glass to the waiter, nodding his approval and Terry
actually winked at him. Ted was sorry he had failed to get the name of the
drink since it tasted quite good to him.

	After his eyes became adjusted to the low lighting in the lounge,
Ted looked around casually to see if perhaps there were other former
classmates who had also arrived early for the reunion. At first glance, he
saw none that he recognized, but he enjoyed looking at the other couples
seated at twenty or thirty tables like his. Most of the crowd was about his
age...very attractive men and women, sharing nice conversations over
drinks. Then he noticed several male/male couples who appeared to be
relaxed while looking moony-eyed at one another. Some were even holding
hands across the table. Were men more openly gay in Vermont? Wasn't this
the state that had sanctioned gay marriage? He doubted that gays were THIS
overt in New York City! Ted had to admit to himself that he liked what he
saw.

	The music from the ceiling speakers was recorded, not live, and
sounded like the old George Shearing Quartet...piano, vibes, bass, and
drums...something right out of the 50's and 60's. Ted remembered the names
of many of the tunes which he hadn't heard in eons..."Isn't It Romantic?",
"I Didn't Know What Time It Was", "Tenderly", "My Romance", "When I Fall In
Love"...on and on. It was literally music to Ted's ears...if only Rex were
here to share the atmosphere with him! Ted thought about Lisa, even though
only for a moment, and toasted her for letting him have one of his most
enjoyable evenings...thus far.

	When the last drop of Ted's drink was gone, he raised the empty
glass for Terry to see it and Terry instantly went to the bartender to
order a second. The drink refill took longer to arrive than the first
because when Terry arrived this time, he not only had a drink, but he set
one long-stemmed white rose in front of Ted, which pleased Ted to no
end. There was just one puzzling thing about the flower, it had two ribbons
wrapped at the calyx, one maroon and one white, Yardley High's school
colors. How did Terry know? Then Terry solved the mystery.

	"Oh, the flower is not from me, sir,...although I wish I had
thought of it. Do you see the gentleman standing by the door? He asked me
to give it to you."

	Ted strained his neck toward the door...and there stood Rex. Rex,
looking more handsome than Ted could ever have imagined. When their eyes
met, Rex made his way through the crowded tables and Ted stood to greet
him. When Rex got close to his old buddy, he embraced Ted and gave him a
quick kiss on the lips...openly and unashamed. Ted ran his gaze past Rex to
see if anyone had noticed their display of affection and no one had even
turned his head, for it seemed quite natural.

	"My God! Look at you!" Rex exclaimed.

	"Jesus! Look at YOU!" Ted replied.

	"I saw you when you crossed the lobby and ran to my room to set
down my luggage and hurried back, stopping at the flower cart."

	"That was so romantic. I don't seem to recall ever getting flowers
from you in high school."

	"I couldn't afford them back then!"

	"Here, sit down, and let me look at you!"

	Terry had been standing beside the table observing every moment of
this reunion with a small tear in each of his eyes.

	"Sir, can I get you a drink?"

	"Please, get me whatever my friend is having and bring another for
him."

	"I...I just got a refill. Thanks, but remember I'm all but a
teetotaler!"

	"You haven't changed your drinking habit in twenty-five years?"

	"Not really...Lisa doesn't approve."

	"I'm sure she wouldn't approve of a lot of things we used to do!
May I be so bold as to ask where she is?"

	"She...she's under the haystack fast asleep!" They laughed. "She's
sleeping soundly after taking her new medications. She probably won't
awaken until morning."

	"Then...that means we have the whole night to ourselves?"

	"The whole night!"

	"Damn! I AM glad I came a few days early. I thought I'd have
trouble seeing you alone, even for just a couple of minutes."

	"If she keeps poking down those pills, we might have the whole week
to spend together." Ted realized that his heart was pounding with hope.

	"That should give us time to make up for a couple of years,
anyway."

	"Rex, I can't believe that you're here...and we're alone. You look
positively wonderful."

	"Want me to strip right here so you can see the rest of me?"

	"I'd say 'yes', but I know damned well you'd do it!"

	"Then, for now, take my word that the parts you can't see look just
as wonderful! I already undressed you in my mind while I was standing at
the door."

	"Did your x-ray vision like what it saw?"

	"Babe, I would have liked what I saw if you'd been bald with a halo
of white hair and weighed three-hundred pounds. The fact that you're the
most handsome man in this room makes it even better."

	"Maybe the second most handsome..."

	"What's this deal with Lisa and the pills? She's not ill with some
disease, is she?"

	"She...she was in the hospital for two weeks. She was discharged
only today. She says she's had a nervous breakdown!"

	"I'll bet if Lisa's had a nervous breakdown, you're in worse shape
than she. The Lisa I knew could drive a schizoid to sanity and back."

	"She...she hasn't changed much...only worse. My three boys are
ready to start the Prozac trail because of her."

	"What about you?"

	"Don't ask! I've started drinking cooking sherry to escape."

	Terry returned with Rex's drink and gave Ted and Rex a 'knowing'
smile and left.

	"What's happened between Lisa and the boys?"

	"Something more sordid than, 'As The World Turns'. Toby, my
youngest--he's twelve--got interrupted during his first big masturbation
session!  Lisa caught him in action!"

	"Oh, boy!"

	"The kid was so embarrassed and humiliated, I thought his penis
would contract up inside his body and never come out again."

	"That's probably the first time Lisa ever saw ANYONE
masturbate. She must have fainted."

	"No, she fainted when she discovered, that same day, that Marc, my
fifteen-year old son, got his girlfriend high on pot and proceeded to have
his first sexual intercourse, resulting in her getting pregnant!"

	"Good God, Ted. She must have been livid."

	"Just wait! There's more!"

	"She found out that your oldest son is gay!"

	"Christ! How did you know?"

	"One of them had to take after their dad and like boys!"

	"At least I never had an affair with one of my teachers!"

	"You've got to be kidding!"

	"No, Buddy was seen coming out of a motel with his band director
and some little cunt called Lisa and told her, just after Marc's
girlfriend's mother was telling her about the pregnancy!"

	"Where did Lisa go? To the nearest psycho ward?"

	"I wish she had...it would have been a helluva lot cheaper."

	"And I suppose Lisa blamed all of this on you!"

	"You seem to know more about my family than I do."

	"Right now, I don't care about the rest of your family. I'm only
here because of you."

	"I would have given my right testicle last week, to have you to
talk with."

	"Only 'talk'?"

	"No, damn it! I would've given all I own just to hold you the way I
used to."

	"Ted, sweetheart, I'll hold you tonight...all night long!"

	"I...I just got a chill when you said that. Dear God, how I've
missed you!"

	"I'll be at your beck and call from now on whenever you need me."

	"Rex, I'm so sorry that I wasn't there when you lost your family in
the accident."

	"Ted, I won't lie to you and say that I miss Miriam, but I do miss
my two kids."

	"You...you and Miriam were having problems before the accident?"

	"Miriam took the boys to her parents while we worked out a way to
get a divorce and find a child custody solution. If she had only gone to
Springfield by herself and left the boys in New York with me...things would
have been so goddamned different. I hope this won't upset you, but I used
to dream how it would be if I had my two kids and you for the rest of my
life...but that was only a pipe dream when both boys were snuffed out of my
life."

	"Damn! I'm so sorry!"

	"I apologize in advance for what I'm about to ask...but have you
ever thought of leaving Lisa?"

	"Wanna know the truth?...DAY AND NIGHT!"

	"What about your boys? Who would get them?"

	"After what they put Lisa through week before last, she now says
that she doesn't want to see them ever again."

	"Do you want them?"

	"Of course I do. I'd grab 'em in a minute and be the kind of dad
I've never been to them."

	"You're blaming yourself for your fatherly shortcomings?"

	"I really don't know my sons...ANY of them...and they don't know
me! I have so much to make up to them."

	"You...uh...wouldn't want some help, would you?"

	"You mean you'd be willing to...?"

	"In a minute, big guy! As long as you came ias the main part of the
package!"

	"But that would be almost impossible. You have your business in New
York and I have mine in Holyfield..."

	"The way I see it, it's just a matter of who shuts down and goes to
work for the other. Of course, it might be best if your boys decided
whether they'd rather live in New York or Holyfield."

	"At the present, I think all three would jump at the chance to get
away from Holyfield. Their lives seemed to be fucked up there."

	"SO?"

	"I don't know what's happening with Buddy. He says he's in love
with his teacher and just this week, he seems to have also fallen in love
with his best friend!"

	"I told you he was a chip off the old block! Like father..."

	"Buddy would have to decide for himself, Rex."

	"Well, if he chooses his best friend, then let the friend come to
New York, too. We'd have four sons."

	"It might not be so simple. I know this will make you laugh, but a
few nights ago, I mentioned your name to Buddy and told him a little about
you and me. Then, supposedly, according to Toby, Buddy slipped into my
bedroom to look at my high school annual to see what you looked like."

	"Oh?"

	"I think he fell in love with you instantly and even jerked off,
fantasizing about you."

	"God damn! He's more like you than you realized!"

	"I'm afraid so."

	"We...you and I, still haven't said the 'l' word, Ted."

	"You want me to say it right here in this cocktail lounge or do you
want to wait until we're alone."

	"You...you could give me a sneak-peek preview."

	"Two weeks ago, when you called, I made a vow never to see you
again."

	"And now?"

	"I...I think I love you more than anyone in the world."

	"I know that's how I feel about you."

	"You...uh...want to go upstairs for a little while?"

	"I thought you'd never ask."

	"Your room or mine? I have a private bedroom away from Lisa."

	"Your room, then. There was some mix-up in my reservation and the
manager put me in a different room on the seventh floor. It seemed some
woman didn't like that room and asked to bemoved. Even though she was only
in my room for a few minutes, the manager insisted on changing the sheets
and linens...some kind of hotel rule."

	"Rex, I'll give you three guess who that woman was..."

	"Shit! I don't have to guess! Come on, let's go to your room and
let me see what I haven't had the chance to see for a quarter of a
century!"

	Rex left a fifty-dollar tip for Terry and paid the check. The two
old friends walked arm-in-arm to the elevator to go to the eleventh
floor. They played grabass like two kids all the way down the hall and
Buddy unlocked his door. Both made a mad dash to the bed and fell into the
soft mattress, each smothering the other with kisses. Ted could forget
about his new clothes and hairstyle because Rex was in sheer delight
ripping Ted's clothes off his body.

	Soon they were both lying in bed, totally naked. They each took a
long look at the other, recalling how they had once known every inch of
each other's body. Neither was embarrassed as their erections yearned to
meet after so many years, and they meshed together in unity while they
tongues dueled, each trying to enter the other's mouth. It was as if
nothing had changed. They were meeting the day after high school
graduation, not two and one-half decades later.

	The two were so busy trying to please one another with their
ravenous lovemaking, that neither of them heard the connecting door open,
nor were they aware that Lisa had entered the room and stood at the door,
watching them.

	"MY GOD IN HEAVEN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! LOOK AT YOU! NASTY! NASTY!
NASTY!"
	Ted wanted to die, instantly, but Rex raised his head and said,
"Hi, Lisa, it's nice to see you too..."


<><><><><><><><><>

(To be concluded in "IF LOVE WERE ALL-12).