Date: Thu, 23 Sep 2004 19:52:06 EDT
From: RitchChristopher@cs.com
Subject: if-love-were-all-8

All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or
are offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language,
please exit now.

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                                IF LOVE WERE ALL

                                       by

                                Ritch Christopher

                            With literary enhancement by

                                   Les Martin


                                 Chapter Eight


                              "DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS"




                  * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


	Sandy was horrified by the scene of her dad giving head to Marc,
her boyfriend and the sire of her fetus. She ran as fast as she could to
find her mother. Marc was praying that the ground would open up and swallow
him instantly, while Burt was so high on marijuana, all he could do was
laugh hysterically. Marc's only recourse was to get away as fast as he
could. He could not confront Liz Sholler over what had just happened. He
ran out of the greenhouse, around the side of the Sholler residence, jumped
into his dad's car and sped home, breaking all posted speed limits and
ignoring traffic lights and stop signs. Marc no longer feared Mr. Sholler
harming him now because he was totally convinced that Liz would come after
him now with any and every weapon she could get her hands on.

	Marc's demise would have to wait, however, for Liz first had to
deal with her husband. When Sandy haltingly described what she'd seen in
the greenhouse, Liz pushed her daughter aside, flying out the back door to
see for herself. When she bolted into the solarium, she looked for Marc but
all she saw was Burt at the end of the third row of plants. He was lighting
another joint.

	"Liz, ba....by!" Burt said with a glissando slur, "come back here,
pussycat, and join the party..."

	"BURT! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR GODDAMNED MIND?"

	"I think I just found it and it feels wonderful!"

	Liz stomped down the aisle between the flower boxes to get to Burt
and, with her right hand, slapped him across his face, toppling him
backward until he landed on the floor with a thud.

	"You goddamned fool!" Liz shouted at him. "No, that's not right!
I'm the fool! How could you have hidden your homosexuality from me all
these years? Through our entire marriage?"

	"Liz, sweetie, I'm not a homosexual!"

	"Then did Sandy come running into the house and tell me a big lie?
She said that you were performing oral sex on Marc?"

	"Well, I did do that! But that doesn't make me a queer!"

	"Good lord, listen to yourself, Burt! You're as high as Mount
Everest and you just had sex with a minor...a MALE minor at that!"

	"Liz, calm down! It's not the end of the world. I was just getting
to know my future son-in-law a little better!"

	"How many other men or boys have you had sex with?"

	"None, sweetheart!" Burt said, staggering, trying to get up on his
feet. "I was just curious to see why Sandy found him so attractive."

	"You've done a lot of dumb things in your life, but this...this...I
don't have words to describe it."

	"Oh, if you'd had the chance you might have done the same thing to
Marc."

	"Burt! Honest to God! I can't believe those words are coming out of
your mouth! DID IT OCCUR TO YOU THAT MARC JUST MIGHT HAVE AIDS?"

	"Liz, for goodness sakes, sixteen year old kids don't get AIDS!"

	"You realize, of course, that I'm going to divorce you over this!"

	"What?"

	"You heard me. Sandy is my witness. You broke your marriage vow to
me. You had homosexual sex with a child. You molested him! I'm first going
to see you locked up in jail and when it comes time for our divorce
hearing, I'm going to have everything you own and everything you're going
to earn the rest of your life."

	"Liz, baby, you don't know what you're saying. Why don't you go
into the house and have a glass of wine or take one of your Xanax and after
you've settled down, we'll talk this over like normal people."

	"NORMAL? What the hell do you know about 'normal'? Do you have any
idea if word gets out about your...your being gay, I won't be able to show
my face anywhere in Holyfield."

	"How's word going to get around? Sandy and Marc won't say
anything. They're gonna get married!"

	"Like hell they are. As far as Sandy and I are concerned, Marc is a
dead boy! NO! I'm not going to kill Marc. I'm going to need him to press
charges against you for molestation and infidelity at our divorce
hearing. THEN I might kill him!"

	"Aw, let me go into the house and take a cold shower and see if I
can sober up just a bit. Sandy and Marc grew some pretty powerful pot! The
best I've ever smoked."

	"Burt, you're not going into the house. It's MY house now and it's
off limits to you. You can get into your car and...and go...go to the
nearest gay bar and see if you can find a new boyfriend who has a place for
you to stay."

	"A gay bar?"

	"You heard me, you faggot!"

	"Liz, this is getting ridiculous! I'm not gay!"

	"COCKSUCKER! YOU SUCKED MARC'S COCK, DIDN'T YOU?"

	"Liz, for God's sake, the neighbors will hear you. Sandy will hear
you!"

	"Why shouldn't she? She's seen the 'visual' of what you were doing
to her ex-boyfriend, she might as well have the 'audio' to go with it. I
just hope to God that Marc goes home and tells Ted what you did to him
because I want Ted to have you arrested for defiling his son!"

	"You're making a big deal out of nothing!"

	"Did you swallow?"

	"What?"

	"'Did you swallow'. That's the first thing you asked me when I
performed oral sex on you twenty years ago."

	"I don't remember that!"

	"You SHOULD! That was the only time I stooped to debauchery. I
never did it again. ONLY ONCE! And then you had the nerve...the
effrontery...to ask me if I swallowed. SO? DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT SWALLOW
MARC'S...I don't want to say the word out loud!"

	"Yep! I guess I did. I guess you're right, as usual. I guess I'm a
queer now. Maybe I can drive over to the country club and go into the
locker room and see how many dicks I can suck. It's kinda late but maybe
someone will like the way I suck and offer me a place to stay tonight."

	"Frankly, Burt, I don't give a flying fuck where you go tonight or
any other night. I...I suppose I'll be going to Wichita tomorrow and take
Sandy with me. You can come by after I'm gone and pick up whatever clothes
and other personal items you want to keep, because when I get back...any of
your stuff that's still inside MY house, I'm burning it in a big bonfire!"

	There was still plenty to say, but Burt, still in a stupor, walked
past Liz and out of the greenhouse to get into his car and drive away,
heading somewhere in the night.

	It would have taken the board of directors at the American
Psychiatric Association to render a logical explanation as to why Marc
Browne did not have a nervous breakdown, or in medical terminology, a
psychotic break, after returning home from the Sholler's. Sure, he was
shaken, a nervous wreck, but he had the intelligence to act nonchalant when
he saw his dad. Marc said 'hello' to Ted, walked passed him and went to his
room and fell apart. He didn't tell Ted about what happened with Burt that
night or any other night for the rest of their lives. He only told Buddy
about it, some time later.

	The following day, Liz flew to Wichita with Sandy, and Marc never
saw her again until years later. Sandy, being a science whiz, found a way
to abort the baby at her aunt's house. Sandy never had sex with another boy
or man. After she went to the University of Kansas, four years later, she
met a female soccer player, fell in love with her and maintained a lesbian
relationship with her even after she got her doctorate in nuclear science.


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	Lisa was recovering nicely in the hospital. She enjoyed the special
care from the nurses and the psych staff...so much so that she asked
Charles Alford if he would extend her treatment for a few extra days at
Holyfield General Hospital.

	The day after his encounter with Burt, Marc put a bar of Lava soap
under his armpit to spike a temperature on the thermometer, telling his dad
that he had the flu just to get out of school for the rest of the week and
avoid Sandy in case she was there at the school.

	With his mom away in the hospital, Toby felt more relaxed around
the house. Ted, Buddy, and Marc---all three knew about his secret and how
their mother had reacted upon catching him in his sordid act. Nothing was
said about it by him, his dad, or his brothers.

	Buddy was now torn between his feelings for Scott and his newly
discovered feelings for Clint that had been revealed in the episode in his
bedroom. If Buddy had ever had the slightest clue that anything might or
could develop into a relationship with his best friend, he would never have
gone to The Foxhole and certainly would never dreamed of going to a motel
with his favorite teacher.

	Things were better for Ted also with Lisa away in the hospital. He
visited her every afternoon and, after he'd prepared supper for the boys,
he went back to the hospital to sit with her until visiting hours were
over. To make her recovery more speedy, he, reluctantly gave in and cheered
her with faux excitement about their trip to the reunion. Actually, after
hearing about Rex's tragedy concerning his wife and children, Ted found
himself becoming eager to see his old best friend and lover.

	Even though Buddy, Marc, and Toby hated the idea of going to church
on Sunday, the three boys overcame their resistance and went with Ted
anyway. Marc almost got a stiff neck, craning his neck to see if any of the
Sholler family was at the church service, as he didn't know that Sandy and
Liz had gone to Wichita and Burt didn't want to confront Marc and
especially Ted, for fear he could be arrested.

	The next day, Ted went to see Charles Alford for the checkup he'd
promised Charles he'd have. He took Buddy along with him for his annual
physical examination. In the back of his mind, Buddy kept thinking about
what Clint had said about being checked for HIV, AIDS, or any other
STD. Buddy was comfortable about thinking Scott was disease free and the
guy at The Foxhole, his only other sexual encounter, was probably 'clean'
as well...at least hopefully.

	Ted was in one examining room and Buddy's room was further down the
hall at Charles' clinic. A nurse drew blood from both the Browne's and
after Charles had finished examining Ted, he went down to give Buddy the
medical 'once-over'.

	"Buddy, how are you?" Charles asked, cheerfully.

	"Fine, sir."

	"Everything going well at college? Are the band half-time shows
going to be up to par as usual?"

	"I hope so. We've been practicing day and night."

	"That's good to hear," Charles replied. "Now, if you'll slip off
that dressing gown, I'll check you over."

	Buddy had no qualms about undressing in front of Charles because
Charles was the only doctor the Browne family had ever seen. He took off
the backless green hospital gown and Charles listened to Buddy's lungs and
heart. Charles went through the regular medical routine; tapping on Buddy's
back and chest with his fingers. He checked inside Buddy's ears, nose, and
throat. Then came the worst part when Buddy had to stand, turn his head and
cough while Charles poked deeply into Buddy's scrotum. The final phase had
Buddy on his hands and knees on the examining table as Charles put on a
rubber glove and squirted an ample amount of KY jelly to probe into Buddy's
anus to feel his prostate gland. As soon as Charles inserted his finger,
Buddy responded with an involuntary erection, which he tried to hide, and
when his gland was touched, it took all of Buddy's willpower to keep from
having an orgasm.

	"Oh, God," Buddy exclaimed, quietly.

	"Feel good?" Charles asked.

	"Let's say it hurt good," Buddy laughed.

	"Buddy, you know that anything you say to me stays with me--by
law."

	"Yes, sir..."

	"I've been your physician since you were a wee toddler."

	"Yes, sir."

	"I've examined you countless times and, well, I think I know your
body pretty well."

	Buddy began to get a bit nervous. "I suppose so, Dr. Alford. Is
something wrong?"

	"I hope not. I mean, your vital signs are normal. Your lungs are
clear and your heart is VERY strong. I'd say that you're in excellent
health...that is until we get your blood, urine, and stool sample reports
back from the lab."

	"How long will that take?"

	"Oh, a couple of days..."

	"So do you...suspect something is wrong with me?"

	"Buddy, you know that anything you tell me...I can't tell your dad
or mom. It's just between us..."

	"Yes, sir."

	"Then will you answer honestly to a few personal questions?"

	"I guess so."

	"Buddy, when I was doing your anal probe just now, I noticed that
both your internal and external sphincter are slightly torn as if something
has been inserted. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

	"I think so."

	"Buddy, what I'd like you to tell me is if you've...well, I know
how young men like to experiment with parts of their body...have you had
anal sex, either by yourself with some kind of stimulating object...or with
another man?"

	'CAUGHT!', Buddy thought. "I...well..."

	"Come on, don't be shy. I'm your doctor, not your minister or your
judge."

	"Yes sir, I...I had sex with a man."

	"Then that explains what I felt. I...I don't need to know any of
the vivid details, but, I presume then that you are...gay?"

	"Yes, sir, I am...but my dad knows."

	"Then that's good. I hope he was startled or angry when you told
him."

	"No, sir. He kind of...accepted it."

	"How about your mom, Lisa?"

	"She...she knows, but I didn't tell her. Some anonymous person
called her on the phone and told her. That's when she freaked out."

	"And that's one of the contributing factors that led me to admit
her to the hospital. Is that what happened?"

	"That was only part of it. There were other things which involved
Marc and Toby, but I...I don't have to tell you about those, do I?"

	"No, no. I'm just here talking with you...doctor to patient or
rather, friend to friend. I hope, when you had anal sex, you acted safely
and used a condom."

	"No, sir, I didn't."

	"Oh, my! I guess just to be safe I'd better have the lab run a few
more tests on your blood."

	"Does it look like I have something wrong with me?"

	"There's no outward signs of the usual STDS...gonorrhea, syphilis,
chlamydia, no festers, boils or warts. Of course we can't be certain until
your bloodwork is finished."

	"And you'll know in a few days?"

	"The test for HIV and AIDS takes a bit longer, but if you KNEW the
person you had sex with, you must've had a pretty good idea that he was HIV
negative."

	"Yes, sir. I'm almost positive."

	"Then we have nothing to worry about. BUT, a word of caution, never
trust anyone, not your best girlfriend--or boyfriend--because you can never
be sure that she or he hasn't had sex with someone else who's carrying a
virus or disease. From now on...safe sex! Got it?"

	"Yes, sir."

	"Now, I'll go tell the nurse to add the order for your bloodwork
before it goes to the lab. There is a quick test that can be run in almost
twenty-four hours, but it's not reliable and often comes back as a
false-positive. I'll have that one done as well."

	"Whatever you think...you're the doc!"

	"So...you're gay?"

	"Yes, sir?"

	"Got a steady boyfriend yet?"

	"Kinda...well, almost two."

	"Wow! Sounds as if you're trying to make up for some lost time!"

	"Not exactly! Since I'm being honest with you...I've only had sex
two and a half times."

	"Half? Coitus interruptus?"

	"Sir?"

	"Ask your dad. He's the one that should be telling you about the
birds and the bees. That's his job! Of course, not many fathers know how to
talk with their sons about gay sex. If there's anything you need to know,
just call me. You know Seth, my son. You and he are rowing the same
boat. Surely you know he's gay by the way he looks at you. I've always
looked at you to see if you were getting his message. I think he's had a
crush on you for years."

	"Seth?"

	"Come on, Buddy, don't be coy. You know precisely what I'm talking
about."

	"Well, yes, I...I guess I do. I've seen him looking at me at
dinners on Friday night."

	"Well, if you find out some day in the future that you're
'unattached', maybe you and Seth could go out together...you know, to a
movie. I realize he's two years younger than you, but seeing that our
families are so close, the two of you are bound to have many common
interests. I hope that when Seth decides to come out openly, he'll find
someone nice like you to be with...that is, ONLY if you have a couple of
condoms in your wallet, if you know what I mean!"

	"Yes, sir, I'll remember that if ever Seth and I...well, you
know...I'll remember"

	"GOOD BOY! Now, I hope I'll see you at dinner next Friday night
when all of us go out. Of course by then, we'll have your lab reports back
and you'll feel more relaxed."

	"Yes, sir, I sure hope so."

	"Your dad is waiting for you up front. I'll call you as soon as I
hear something."

	"Thanks."

	Dr. Charles Alford wasn't aware that he'd just placed a thousand
pound weight on Buddy's shoulders. He would carry this burden of fear until
he found out he was disease free.


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	Rather than fan Lulu's fire of suspicion, Scott ignored Buddy
totally during band practice for the rest of the week after Buddy had
called him. Buddy realized Scott's motive for being a bit distant and went
along with it. This seemed to relax both of them. Also, Buddy remembered
his and his dad's appointments with Dr. Alford yesterday and he was more
than a little concerned about the blood test results after Clint had warned
him about unsafe sex. So the drum major and his band director hid their
feelings and decided to play it cool and not give Lulu any more reason to
play the sleuth.

	Having seen Buddy and Mr. Parsons at the motel actually didn't
bother Lulu nearly as much as the questions she was about Clint and Buddy's
relationship. She and Clint had 'separated' and she HAD called him a
cocksucker in anger, but now she wondered whether what she surmised in
haste actually was true. She and Clint had gone steady for nearly three
years and had had sex numerous times in practically every conceivable
way. They had never tried anal sex, primarily because she had imagined how
much it would hurt and probably would be messy.

	For the rest of the week following the motel sighting, Lulu had
avoided Buddy during band practice, but she eyed him constantly when she
was sure Buddy wasn't looking at her. Buddy was tall, handsome, much more
so than Clint and if Clint had even the slightest hint of being gay, Buddy
would be Clint's ideal choice for a sex partner/best friend...and the two
guys had spent many nights are each other's houses and only God knows what
they had been doing!

	The more she observed Buddy, the more, in her mind, he became a
rival. She began to doubt that she had pleasured Clint sexually and
wondered if Buddy was better at it than she. She tried to imagine Clint
going down on Buddy; the mental picture horrified her. Clint was excellent
at cunniligus, allowing her to reach multiple orgasms in a matter of a few
minutes. But could Clint really perform fellatio on Buddy? Damned right he
would, she thought...and Buddy would enjoy the hell out of it, not only
because it was Clint pleasing him, but because he had taken Clint away from
her!

	Lulu and Buddy had always been friends, but mainly because Buddy
was Clint's best friend. It was a package deal. If she wanted Clint for a
boyfriend, then it was automatic that Buddy would have to fit in somewhere
whether Lulu liked it or not. But the day following hers and Clint's break
up, she found herself actually hating Buddy for the first time. Maybe she
had ALWAYS resented him because of Clint and Buddy's brotherly
bond. Perhaps she wasn't too far off her mark, Clint just MIGHT be Buddy's
cocksucker and vice-versa! Her thoughts soon descended to the gutter! If
Clint had stuck his penis inside Buddy's ass and then had the nerve to fuck
her...it was more than she could take! She would have to find some way of
punishing BOTH of them! Then the thought hit her that Clint had never once
said he loved her, not before, during, or after sex. WHY? WHY, INDEED?
Because Clint loved Buddy! It had been obvious the whole time, she
thought. She had told Clint countless times that she loved him and was IN
love with him, but every time, when it was Clint's turn to return the
phrase, he would placate her by kissing her instead! That settled it !Buddy
HAD to go if she wanted to get Clint back...and when she did, she'd show
him who could fuck better and give better blowjobs! That was her only
method of recourse!

	Now, what would it take to break up Clint and Buddy's friendship?
Her mind began to race with many devious plans. She could casually let it
slip around the campus that she'd heard that Buddy was HIV positive or
Buddy had plotted to take Clint away from her to make Clint HIS
boyfriend. No, that would be saying that she doubted Clint's masculinity,
especially since he and Buddy were almost inseparable! The best approach
would be to tell some of her fellow band members about seeing Buddy at a
motel with Mr. Parsons. Of course, she would lose her band director AFTER
he had been fired by Dean Cunningham. That's exactly what she should do!
That would be her plan!


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	When Ted and Buddy left Dr. Alford's office, Ted returned to his
office and Buddy decided to go back home and brood. He wouldn't rest easy
until his bloodwork came back from the lab. If Dr. Alford was correct,
Buddy could get the result of a preliminary report by tomorrow
afternoon. If THAT was negative, that would temporarily relieve some of his
tension.

	Not since he was eleven years old had Buddy gone into his parents
room to explore through drawers, the closet, the medicine cabinet, but with
everyone gone except Marc who was in his room feigning an illness, Buddy
decided he would sneak into his dad's closet to find his dad's high school
annual which Ted had showed all three of his sons from time to time just to
demonstrate how tough things used to be when he was in high school.

	Ted had sparked Buddy's curiosity when he mentioned Rex's
name. Buddy simply had to see what his dad's old boyfriend looked like. As
he walked down the hallway, Buddy eased Marc's door open and saw that he
was asleep. Toby was at school; Ted was at his office; and Lisa was still
in the hospital, so all systems were 'go' for Buddy to enter his parent's
bedroom. He knew where his dad kept the yearbook, on the shelf of the
closet underneath a stack of sweaters.

	 Buddy took the book from the closet and sat on his parent's bed to
browse. He had seen his dad's picture before without paying much attention
to any of the other students. Buddy was amazed that nearly all the guys had
crew cuts or flat-top hair cuts. The girls were all wearing long full
skirts with enough material at the hem to stand straight out if they
decided to whirl around. All the guys wore blue jeans, v-neck sweaters,
white socks, and loafers. The girls wore white socks, too, turned down at
the tops to form a wide bulge around their ankles...and the shoes looked so
funny...saddle oxfords with white toes and heels and a big band of
contrasting leather around the middle. Some of the girls appeared to be
wearing tiny black ballet slippers. Many of the girls wore their hair in
pony tails with 'bangs' across their foreheads. They all seemed to look
like cheerleaders, whether they were or not.

	The senior pictures were in the front of the annual and were
alphabetized. If Ted had mentioned Rex's last name, Buddy couldn't remember
it, but how many boys in high school could be named, 'Rex'? Buddy perused
the pictures slowly, page by page until he reached the 'h's'. There he
was...Rex Hastings...Dad's boyfriend. Buddy was surprised to see how
handsome Rex was. 'Damn,' Buddy thought, 'Dad and I have similar taste in
men. No wonder Dad was attracted to him because I could have been attracted
to Rex as well. I wonder what happened to break them up? Of course if they
had stayed together, Dad would've never married Mom and none of us boys
would've been born.'

	Now that Buddy had a clear image of Rex in his mind, he looked
through other sections of the book for other pictures. When he got to the
sport section, he found several photos of Rex--Rex on the wrestling team,
Rex on the basketball team. The guys on the basketball team were wearing
extremely short shorts, not like the baggy mid-thigh uniforms the team wore
at Holyfield High. 'Damn! They all looked sexy with their full thighs
showing...especially Rex. There was one close-up shot of Rex playing
basketball, doing a hook shot, and if Buddy looked carefully, he was sure
he could see Rex's jockstrap, showing a full package.

	Buddy's imagination raced on, trying to envision his dad going down
on Rex. 'I wonder how far the two of them went when they were alone?' Had
his dad experienced anal intercourse with Rex? Which of them was the
dominant one in the relationship? Which did what to whom?'

	The longer his mind dwelled on his dad and Rex's and their sexual
antics, the more excited Buddy became. Soon he had a raging hard-on under
his jeans and he felt an unbearable urge to jerk off, fantasizing about his
dad and Rex together. No one was at home. Marc was asleep, so Buddy decided
to indulge in some one-on-one sex by himself. So he eased down his jeans
and briefs and slowly began to masturbate while looking at Rex. After a
while, he started to wonder how Clint would look in a pair of Rex's
basketball short pants? That's all it took to take Buddy over the edge and
he climaxed...not just a little, but too much. His ejaculation spilled all
over his parent's bedspread and some had even gotten onto the carpet!

	Buddy was a mess with white streams all over the top of his jeans,
his underwear and every place around him. A rather large splotch had landed
on Rex's picture. Buddy looked around for ANYTHING to clean himself when he
heard Marc ask, "Need a towel, bro?"

	"Shit! Marc! I thought you were asleep."

	"No, I was awake when you opened my door, then I heard you go down
the hall into Mom and Dad's room and I became curious when you stayed in
here so long. I wanted to see what you were doing..."

	"Did you see enough?", he blurted out.

	Marc laughed, "Certainly more than I expected to see!"

	"What is it with this family that no one ever knocks before
entering a room?"

	"I don't know. You didn't knock when you peeked in on me."

	"I guess you're right. I'm just as much at fault as anyone."

	"Do you mind if I ask what you were looking at that got you so
turned on? Since I know you're gay...it couldn't have been a picture of
some girl."

	"You wouldn't believe it if I told you."

	"Try me."

	"Come here, but watch where you step...part of me is on the
carpet."

	"Ooowee! You sure cum a lot!"

	"I swear this is the most I've ever cum in my life."

	"So show me the picture! Maybe he'll excite me too!"

	"I doubt it, but look at this guy doing a jump shot."

	"So?"

	"I...I really shouldn't tell you this because I promised I wouldn't
tell anyone...then I fucked up and told Clint accidentally."

	"Told Clint what? Come on, I'm your brother! If you can tell Clint,
you can certainly tell me."

	"Promise you won't breath a word to Mom or to Toby?"

	"Promise..."

	"OK, this guy...that one there...his name is Rex...Rex
Hastings...and, well, he used to be dad's boyfriend."

	"Shut up! Are you serious or is this some bullshit?"

	"Honest to God! Dad told me himself. I just had to get a look at
his picture in Dad's high school annual."

	"Dad was queer?"

	"Don't say 'queer'...'gay'! Dad was gay!"

	"Was or IS?"

	"WAS! He and Rex haven't seen one another since high school."

	"Dad told all of this to you?"

	"Well, Mom sure as hell didn't tell me!"

	"Holy shit! Does Mom KNOW?"

	"Heck, no! If she knew, she'd've left dad years ago. You saw how
she reacted when she caught me in bed with Toby! She freaked out and landed
in the hospital."

	"So it was you and Toby who sent her off the cliff? I thought it
was me and Sandy who did it to her."

	"Say, you never did tell me what happened when you went over to
Sandy's house to meet with Mr. Sholler?"

	"Shit, that's something YOU won't believe!"

	"He didn't get his gun after you, did he?"

	"No, it was MY gun he got."

	"YOUR gun? What do you mean. You don't have a gun! I was nearly a
teenager before Mom agreed to let me have a cap pistol!...I still have it!"

	"Good, I might want to borrow it the next time I see Mr. Sholler."

	"So, what happened? Damn, you know all MY secrets. You walked in
while I was shooting cum all over creation!"

	"Brace yourself...but like you told me...DON'T SAY A WORD TO
ANYONE!"

	"I promise."

	"Mr. Sholler blew me!"

	"Did what?"

	"When I got there he was high on pot and before I knew what was
happening, he had my pants around my ankles and he gave me a blowjob!"

	"Marc, are you making this up just so he won't come after you?"

	"Ask Sandy, she saw us!"

	"HOLY FUCK! What did you do?"

	"I ran like hell when she went inside her house to tell her
mother!"

	"Shit! And you didn't tell Dad?"

	"Would YOU have told him?"

	"No, he'd've been in the bed next to Mom's at the hospital!"

	"Have you seen any of the Sholler's since?"

	"They weren't at church yesterday. I suppose they're all hiding in
their house behind locked doors."

	"I guess they'll stay that way forever. We both know how
Mrs. Sholler is."

	"Heck, when I first got there, he told me about the wedding plans
he was making for Sandy and me."

	"You can't get married at your age without Mom and Dad's
permission."

	"Thank God for that!"

	"Did he say anything about what's gonna happen with yours and
Sandy's baby?"

	"I think I'm supposed to marry her and move in with the Sholler's."

	"Damn! Live in the same house with Mrs. Sholler? No way!"

	"At least all SHE did was scream at me and threaten to cut my balls
off. She didn't try giving me a blowjob."

	"Marc, I'm your big brother and I won't let you move in with the
Sholler's! Hell, within twenty-four hours, you'd be in the same room with
Mom and Dad. SHIT! Why don't we rent an entire ward at the hospital for ALL
of us? Y'know, we are one fucked-up family! Maybe when Mom gets home, we
should make a suicide pact...all five of us. Then we could seal up all the
windows and doors; blow out the pilot light in the stove; open the oven
door and turn up the gas as far as it will go. We're all fucking nuts! You
should have seen Dad dancing in the kitchen the other night when Toby and I
caught him..."

	"Dad was dancing in the kitchen?"

	"Naked...STARK NAKED and jerking off at the same time!"

	"God, no!"

	"Yep, Toby and I both stood there at the door while he pretended
Mom was sitting at the kitchen table and he shot off all over the table and
the floor."

	"What did he say when he saw you?"

	"I think he said, 'hello'? What else could he have said. Now, let's
recap the situation...Mom walked in on Toby while he was jerking off. Toby
and I walked in on Dad. YOU just walked in on me. That just leaves you. No
one has walked in on you yet...so what time do you usually jerk off so that
we can walk in on you and even out the score?"

	"I was walked in on by Sandy while her dad was blowing me. Doesn't
that count?"

	"Yeah, I guess it does, come to think of it!"

	"Wait, Buddy, you left out about Mom walking in and finding you in
the bed with Toby."

	"I guess I thought that DIDN'T count since it was so innocent. I've
been holding Toby like that since he was...well, since ever. You know full
well that I'd never touch him, not in a million years. There is ONE
'walk-in' episode, you DON'T know about!"

	"TELL! TELL ALL!"

	"Dad and Toby walked into my bedroom while Clint and I were messing
around."

	"CLINT?..STRAIGHT-AS-AN-ARROW CLINT?"

	"Yeah, but I won't go into vivid details about it."

	"Was Clint on his knees praying for you when Dad and Toby walked in
and thought he was giving you a BJ?"

	"No, heck. Well, Dad and Toby know about it, so why keep it a
secret from you? Clint and I were giving each other BJ's at the same time!"

	"Damn, dude! Looks like your belated sexuality is getting into top
gear."

	"Yeah, mine, Toby's and yours!"

	From the doorway, Toby said, "Hi guys! What are the two of you
doing in Mom and Dad's room?"

	"Well, Tobe, if you look closely, you'll see semen all over me, the
bed, and the carpet. So I guess I'd better tell you the truth. You see, I
thought Marc needed one more masturbation lesson. He's not quite up to par
as you and I are...but now, I think he's ready to graduate."

	Marc held back his laughter as long as possible and finally just
fell apart and began laughing out loud, hysterically. Only ten seconds
passed before Buddy joined him. Poor Toby had no idea why they were
laughing, but he laughed along with them anyway. This moment was the most
relaxed any of the brothers had experienced in days. Their laughing
continued for most of that afternoon.


<><><><><><><><>


	Ted came by the hospital from work to see Lisa before going home to
make dinner for the boys. Lisa was sitting up in bed looking at herself in
a hand mirror. Ted hardly recognized her because her hair, which was
usually chestnut brown, was almost platinum blonde and had been cut much
shorter. She was wearing an exorbitant amount of make up which really
looked good on her. It was if she had been totally made-over on Oprah's
show.

	"Lisa, is that you?"

	"Of course, silly?"

	"What? How?"

	"They have this darling little beauty shop on the first floor and
Charles thought it would make me feel better if I could make a few changes
in my life. Do you like it?"

	"Well, sure...you look beautiful!"

	"I thought I'd pop everyone's eyes out at the reunion next week."

	"You'll do more than that! They'll be buzzing about you for the
next twenty-five years!" Ted said.

	"I'm afraid twenty-five years from now, it'll take a lot more than
a beauty shop makeover for me to make an impression when we go to our
fiftieth reunion. I'll need some plastic surgery to get rid of a few lines
and wrinkles. Then, everyone else will look seventy-five and I'll be thirty
once again. I was thinking about a breast enhancement. I don't mean
twenty-five years from now, but soon. I wish the idea had occurred to me
three months ago and I'd really knock 'em dead next week."

	"Lisa, you don't have to get yourself all dolled up for me. I'd
love you if you were old and gray."

	"Who says we're going to be together when YOU'RE old and gray?"

	"What are you talking about? It's that medication Charles
prescribed for you, isn't it?"

	"Maybe, but if it IS the medication, I should've been taking it all
along to deal with the pressure of raising three teenagers."

	"Then I presume Charles is going to discharge you from the hospital
in a few days since you're looking so well?"

	"I love it here! I might just stay the rest of the week!"

	"But if you're well, our insurance won't..."

	"Who says I'm well? I might go home today or tomorrow and walk down
the hall from our bedroom and see what kind of sexual perversions your sons
are involved with and have a total relapse!"

	"Lisa, they're not MY sons, they're OUR sons!"

	"Not any more. You can have them all to yourself. I want no part of
them from now on."

	"Lisa, I don't know what you thought you saw, but there's no
perversion among our boys. You almost gave Toby a nervous breakdown when
you saw him masturbating."

	"I suppose he learned that from you! It was nasty and I wanted Toby
to know it!"

	"It WASN'T nasty, Lisa. Masturbation is normal. All boys do
it...even girls if you care to admit it!"

	"I never touched myself that way!"

	"That's probably true. You'd hardly ever let me touch you."

	"Ted, your sexual appetite has always disgusted me. If I hadn't
wanted children, I might never had allowed you to touch me!"

	"Too bad I didn't know that before we married. I might have made a
few changes in MY life."

	"It's not too late, darling."

	"Yes, but the kind of changes I need don't come from a barber
shop!"

	"I'd tell you to have an affair, but there's the danger that you
wouldn't be discreet...and you'd get caught! There would be a scandal and I
couldn't be president of the PTA any longer."

	"You'd honestly let me have an affair? Can you hear yourself? Do
you know how utterly insane you sound?"

	"No, dear, I'm just being myself for the first time. My visit to
the hospital has opened my eyes to a lot of things. I've neglected my
personal self by becoming a mere housewife and the mother of three
ingrates! Did you see your 'homosexual' son in bed with his youngest
brother?"

	"Lisa they weren't doing anything wrong. I discovered that Toby
quite often goes into Buddy's room just to be held...to feel the love that
you and I have failed to give him!"

	"I wish NOW I HAD had Buddy arrested for molestation. I would have
if I hadn't fainted."

	"DEAR GOD, LISA! Buddy was NOT molesting Toby!"

	"Then what was he doing in a motel in the middle of the afternoon
with one of his teachers?"

	"I...I don't know. I don't have all the facts yet."

	"It doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to find out that Buddy is a
queer!"

	"So what are you going to do when you come home? Have Buddy
arrested then?"

	"I'll let you deal with him. After all, he's YOUR son."

	"OUR son, Lisa, OUR son."

	"He's not my son any longer...neither is Marc. I hope Burt Sholler
has Marc arrested and sent to prison for statutory rape."

	"JESUS! What about Toby? Do you want to have him put in chains and
locked to his bed?"

	"Only if there's a way to keep his hands above his waist!"

	"Lisa, I'm going home. I have to fix dinner for OUR sons. I'll call
you later tonight."

	"Don't bother! You should concentrate all your time on your three
sex delinquents and forget about me. What you SHOULD do is give them a loaf
of bread and some water and send them to bed WITH their bedroom doors open
so that you can watch them. Of course, you think what they're doing is
'normal' so you might get a kick out of watching their perversion!"

	"GOODBYE, LISA!"

	"Toodles!" Lisa replied, coiffing her hair.

	Ted left the hospital in a huff. It was nearly six o'clock, but
dinner for the boys would have to wait! Ted needed a real drink, not
cooking sherry! He got in his car and drove around, not knowing which way
he was going. Finally, he saw a neon sign advertising cocktails. So he
pulled into the parking lot and walked into a bar called Andy Panda's.


<><><><><><><><><><><>

	Lulu sat by the phone with a hairbrush in her hand. It took a few
minutes for her to muster enough courage to hit herself in the nose with
the backside of the brush. She inflicted enough of a blow to her face and
nose to inflame her sinus passages and cause tears to come down her
face. She was ready now to make her phone call. She dialed a familiar
number and waited four rings before someone answered.

	"Hello?"

	"Mrs. Walters...?" Lulu said, in her best whimpering and sniveling
voice.

	"Yes...?"

	"Oh, Mrs. Walters...I'm so heartbroken..."

	"Louise...Lulu? Is that you, dear? You sound terrible! What's
wrong, dear?"

	"Mrs. Walters...it's just terrible."

	"What is?"

	"Clint and me..."

	"Clint and you, Lulu? What happened."

	"We broke up, Mrs. Walters."

	"I...I'm so sorry to hear that, Lulu. Clint hasn't said a word to
me about it."

	"I...I can understand why..."

	"Lulu, you're talking in riddles! I have no idea on earth what
you're trying to tell me."

	"I...I feel lost without Clint."

	"I'm sure you do, dear. But I'm sure whatever happened is just a
silly lovers' spat. You can work it out between you. After all, you two
have been sweethearts for such a long time."

	"Mrs. Walters...what happened is something Clint and I can never
work out."

	"Then tell me what happened, Lulu. I'll see what I can do."

	"That might help if you DID talk with him."

	"Lulu, give me some place to start. Tell me why the two of you
broke up."

	"He...Clint doesn't love me any more. He loves someone else."

	"Are you sure? You're the only girl that Clint talks about."

	Lulu began to cry louder. "That's the problem, Mrs. Walters,
Clint's not in love with another girl...it's a guy!"

	"Lulu, I don't know what kind of nonsense you're playing, but I
know for sure that Clint could NEVER fall in love with a guy!"

	"Why don't you ask him?"

	"I will!"

	"Don't look too shocked when he tells you who the other guy is!"

	"Why don't you prepare me for the shock by you telling me first?"

	"It's Buddy, Mrs. Walters, Buddy Browne."

	"I know I don't believe you now. Clint and Buddy have been best
friends since they were children."

	"They're more than just best friends. How many times have they
spent the night together at each other's houses?"

	"About the same number as all best friends do, I'd imagine."

	"Did you know what they were doing when they went to bed?"

	"Watched TV, played games..."

	"Games with each other's bodies..."

	"Lulu, how do you know this?"

	"Mrs. Walters, everyone on campus knows Buddy's a queer. It's
common knowledge among the band members...and Clint sleeps with him,
doesn't he?"

	"Oh, my Lord!"

	"Now, can you see why we broke up and it's impossible for us to
ever see one another again."

	"I...I'll have to find out for myself, Lulu. I can't accuse my son
of something without proof."

	"I'm sure Clint will lie about it! Why don't you ask him first if
he knows Buddy is gay?"

	"I will!"

	"Thanks for listening to me...good night, Mrs. Walters."

	"Good night."

	Lulu replaced the receiver on the phone. Her tears had turned into
a devilish grin, while at the Walters house, Vivian Walters hung up the
phone and shouted, "CLINT! COME HERE INSTANTLY! I need to talk to you about
something...NOW!"

<><><><><><><><><>


(To be continued in "If Love Were All-9").