Date: Wed, 01 Sep 2004 00:50:07 -0400
From: "Navita, Sammi, Tali, Greg Greg" <sum1plezzcall_911@hotmail.com>
Subject: Ladulcevida, Chapter 14

       Disclaimer: This is a FICTIONAL story describing the life and
problems from the POV of a young man.  If you find this type of story
offensive, or viewing this material is illegal where you are, then refrain
from reading it.

      This story is a continuation of Rain_On_Me (found in HIGHSCHOOL
section of nifty)
       Feel free to send email or comments about the story to
       sum1plezzCall_911@hotmail.com or sammie_g86@yahoo.com

-Sorry about the wrong email that I had up before.

Edited

POV will switch between two main characters, Damien and Adrian.

      LaDulceVida- The Sweet Life

                             ZODIAC

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

ADRIAN

Still Adrian, still the guy who had to push more weight than Popeye just to
be happy. I was still the Cancer. Have you ever realized how realistic the
Zodiacs were to you?

Was it just me or was some crazy stranger defining my personality to be
similar to the personality of a million people just because we were born
around the same month? The Zodiac had told me that because I was Cancer,
then I was emotional and intuitive. I was emotional and innate enough to
know that if I believed in something enough then it would come true. I was
the Zodiac sign most likely to call up a friend and start crying...for no
reason.

I had fallen in love with Eric, a Pisces. He was supposed to be the type to
shower me with gifts of love by now. I guess the Zodiac was wrong
there. There was one thing the Zodiac did hit on the head though. It was
the fact that the Pisces were always in a state of consciousness and
unconsciousness. The Pisces always seemed to hide things until they felt
the moment was right.  Pisces always seemed to live in their heads,
escaping the truth of the world through daydreaming.

Two months had passed and the tour was finally over. No doubt, the tour was
fucking aching. I felt like I was going to die. I woke up early in the
morning, every morning to warm up for another performance. It was so
depressing.

The money that we had been waiting for didn't matter much to me. Eric said
he was saving it up, while Jay jumped at the choice to buy himself as much
sex as he could before returning from tour. What did I do with the money? I
sent it to my fucking whining mother who had run out of money from all the
relocating she had been doing. She said that if I didn't send her money,
she would have to file bankruptcy for all the debt she was in.

<Hello,> a voice on the other side of the phone had called one Saturday
night, <Adrian...Adrian is it you?>

The voice was clearly Elle, but she didn't seem as upbeat as she usually
did. Something was definitely off about her. I heard the short loss in his
voice. The droning sound was like a cat scratching at a bedpost.

<Hey what's up?>

<I need you to come visit me,> she told me softly, <Bring Jay...>


Of all the shit that I been through, I knew that this would probably just
add to it. I had never known Elle to actually ask me favors or never did I
know her as the type to seem down or frustrated (even if she was). She
seemed like the type of girl to always hide stuff like that, which I
selfishly loved most about her. I couldn't bother with her problems to tell
the truth.

I didn't tell Jay that Elle had requested to bring her. Jay was always
quick to get over-think things and he would probably think that she liked
him or something like that. I figured since Jay seemed to have a little
crush on her, it wasn't a good idea because a girl like Elle wouldn't be
very nice about turning him down.

Since the tour was over, I had packed to stay with Elle for a little while.
Eric had went to stay with his parents, who lived in the same city as
Elle. I figured I would be able to see him more because of this, so I was
very happy to go visit Elle. When going to visit Elle, Jay seemed a little
happy about it when I told him, while I made quite sure that Eric didn't
go.  I didn't know how Elle was really reacting to that whole lying thing
we were doing with Eric, so I figured I would keep them as far away from
one another as possible.

"Hey," she said, opening the door.

She looked just like her voice seemed to look. Her eyes were watered up in
a new vehement display that was causing Jay and I to both feel
uncomfortable right at the door. She tried to hide her tears at first,
while we entered. She turned and entered into her house, not saying anymore
but her cold and very unaffectionate welcome.

Jay at first was trying to whisper stuff to me, asking me what was wrong
with her like I would have any idea. I ignored him and his stupid questions
as we entered into the house. We found Elle sitting there at the table,
almost like a ghost would. I wondered if something terrible had happened to
her. She definitely looked like something terrible had happened to her. She
was hiding something in her lap, but I really couldn't see it because her
hands covered it.

"Hey what's up, ma?" I asked her. Ma, was the nickname that I had given her
the first day I met her, but a name that I rarely used for her.

As I was about to sit, she suddenly stopped me.

"You'll probably want to be standing up for this one..."

"Well I wanna sit," Jay said, rudely.

He pushed past me and sat in the chair immediately. I saw the way Elle
stared at him. I wondered it was because he had sat down after she told him
not to. Jay was the type to feel very comfortable around strangers, but
even this was kinda funny. He definitely seemed very comfortable with a
woman that he had only met one time.

"Elle, what's going on?"

"Here..."

She threw whatever she had in her lap across the table. She wasn't sliding
it at me though, it was directed for Jay. I looked at whatever it was. It
wasn't something that I was very accustomed with. I wasn't really sure what
it was at first. It looked like a thermometer I guess. Was she sick?  Jay
acted strange when he saw the thing though. He gave it a little look and
then sent it back to her almost immediately. His face shriveled up a
little. I knew Jay enough to know that he was pissed and I knew that the
only reason Jay was ever pissed was when he didn't get his way.

"What is this supposed to mean? I can't read that!" he barked on her,
dusting off his hands as though he had just picked up a piece of canine
shit. I wondered why he was so pissed.

"What is it?" I asked.

There was a long silence. I guess it surprised them that I didn't know what
it was. It was strange to see them talking to one another like they knew
each other well or something. They looked so tense on whatever the fuck
that thing was.

"It's a pregnancy test," Elle said, her head buckled to the floor like a
little kid who had done something wrong, "Its my pregnancy test."

"Elle you're pregnant!" I called out.

I didn't know whether to hug her or scowl at her. I mean Elle definitely
wasn't the type of girl who had kids, but it definitely seemed like her
lonely little house could use the warmth that a child could bring. I sort
of crossed the table to take a closer look at the pregnancy test and tried
not to seem too concerned about it.

Suddenly I saw Elle push me away, "Jay is the father."

My mouth dropped. I looked at Jay, we both looked at Jay. Jay looked
back. I had never seen him look so angry. What was Elle talking about? It
was definitely a surprise that she would first say something like that out
of the blue.

"She's lying!" Jay said getting up and slamming his fist on the table. He
hit it so hard that it caused Elle to shake.

I looked at Elle, in her eyes trying to see if she's lying, "Elle, why are
you lying? Jay isn't the father...you know that. You and Jay didn't
even..."

"We didn't sleep together?" Elle asked almost immediately after the thought
rose in my head, "I'm sure we did. Ask your cousin Adrian. After the day we
met, he started talking to me and before I knew it...it happened. We didn't
have any protection..."

I looked at Jay. Was this idiot crazy? I still couldn't even believe Elle
would do something like that with a guy like Jay. She said that she liked
older guys anyway, so why would she be with him who acted half of his age?
I definitely figured she was lying about this thing. My cousin was stupid,
but I kept wondering if he was stupid enough to do something
so...well...stupid. I kept looking at him and he couldn't look me in the
eyes. He was sweating. I couldn't believe my ears or even believe my
eyes. He wasn't denying that they slept together?

"You stupid idiot!" I looked at Jay, wanting to run over and hit him,
"Aren't you going to deny this?"

By now Jay was crying. I felt bad, but I knew tough love needed exercising.
He looked down, not denying it, but instead just tearing up like a bitch. I
couldn't believe he had put us in pregnancy shit even after all the shit
that we were already going through! God, I wanted to punch him in the face
for acting so stupid. He was such a hypocrite. He had judged me forever
with that Antonio slip up (which he still brought up all the time), while
he was out having sex with Elle without protection! God, I didn't even know
what to do to get us out of this one. I knew that I couldn't just leave
him...the two of us had been there for each other since the beginning.

"Tell her she's fucking lying!" I told him, gripping onto his shoulder.

"Get the fuck off of me!" he said pushing my hand away, "I did do it...but
that baby isn't mine!  We only had sex once!"

I turned away from him. He was getting more pissed every moment that he had
to sit there. I thought he was going to hit Elle at first, but I wondered
if I was going to end up hitting her first. I didn't believe what she was
saying. This baby could mess up Jay's life. What would the girls think if
he had a baby? What would the music industry think about it? I snatched the
pregnancy test away from Elle. I didn't even know how to read it.

"How do you read this shit?" I demanded of her.

"Blue is pregnant."

I didn't believe her, "Lemme see the box."

She handed me the box. Blue was pregnant and the test was blue. I looked at
Elle now. I definitely saw her in a different light. She looked exactly the
same to me as Damien did. She was an obstacle now. Jay looked at me and I
looked back at him. I nodded. She was definitely pregnant. I saw him
punching the wall, punching it so hard that there was a dent in the
wall. Elle just sat there, lifeless and crying silent tears.

"How could he know its his?" I asked her. She paused and I had to ask her
again just to get her to clear her tears for a moment and answer the goddam
question.

"I've been celibate, Adrian!" she called out, "I can't believe you are
avoiding this! You know me better than this Adrian. I wouldn't even tell
him if I wasn't one hundred percent sure!"

The crazy thing was I did believe her. Jay was a very clean and safe
person, but he wouldn't pass down sex just for the fact that he didn't have
a condom. Elle thought condoms were spiritual enough (whatever the fuck
that meant).

The only thing that came out of my mouth was, "God..."

"Fuck this!" Jay cursed, pulling on his jacket and turning towards the
door, "Talk to your fucking friend Adrian. I had sex with that girl one
time and it didn't take much to get in her panties. So as far as I'm
concerned she's a slut!

I looked at Jay and then looked at Elle. I felt bad for her a little. It
was overwhelming and I couldn't believe any of it. It definitely wasn't my
concern and thinking about it, I didn't want it to be my concern. I just
wanted to turn off all my censors and go to sleep somewhere. Elle had been
a good friend to me and Jay was my cousin. I definitely didn't want to hurt
anyone. That was the last thing I ever, ever wanted to do. Half of me
wanted to deny this kid too, leave Elle crying in the house and leave with
Jay. The other half of me wanted to stop Jay right in his tracks and work
the whole thing out here and now, so that Elle wouldn't have to bring the
child into the world all alone.

I decided that I would let Jay leave but stay with Elle. It was my only
skimpy choice to stay as neutral in this as possible, for as long as I
could.  I guess I would have time to talk to her about what happened and
then I could call Jay to calm him down about the whole touchy subject.

See...Jay has always been the Leo. He always thought he was right and never
wanted anyone to deny what he figured was his god-given gifts. On the other
hand, Elle was the emotional, indecisive Libra. She was on the calmer side,
but believed in loyalty to the fullest. It was a tough choice to be in. If
I allowed Jay to get his way, yet again, I would be betraying the full
loyalty that Elle had in me. I hated being put in the middle of
things...maybe the Zodiac forgot to add that part.


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

DAMIEN

The truth about Robbie was that he was always charming. There was something
he said perhaps...or the way that he moved that just seemed to catch me off
guard.  Antonio said that it was because Robbie was a sexy
Scorpio. Whatever that meant.

He had spent two months trying to make up for what happened at the club. I
hadn't even had a chance to really talk about it before he started to
flatter me to a slow, heavenly death. I began to float on Cloud 9 again,
waking up to gifts of exquisite things and stuff that I didn't really have
any use for. He bought me more watches than fit around my wrist and more
clothing that fit in my closet.

At first I was afraid that all these gifts was just another way that Robbie
was hoping to control me. He seemed to be the type of guy that always
seemed to speak more with his actions than his words. I tried to think that
all this wasn't just him trying to dominate me.  I hoped that he had a
deeper meaning than all that seemed to show. It was like Robbie was
constantly putting on a play. Like he was putting on a show of some sort.

One day he took me down to the ground basement, where we sat locked in a
steam room for half of the day. He said he had taken the day off just to
relax. I knew it was more because in two days he would be leaving for the
week for business and he wouldn't see me. I could tell by the flirtatious
look in his eye, while I sat there, still coy as ever.

"You know, we could stay in here for hours and no one will ever find us,"
Robbie said, looking a little moved by the locked steam room idea.

I looked at him up and down and almost wanted to giggle like a school girl
by his flirts. We both had towels wrapped around our waists, but of course
Robbie's towel seemed to be a lot lower than intended. From the back I
could see half of his ass and in the front I saw what was only a little
piece of heaven, stemming from trimmed, but not shaved pubic hairs.

Before I knew it I could see his hot steamy body coming closer to mine. His
pecs were staring right at me, his thick already erect muscles slowly
getting up. Nothing on Robbie's body was more perfect then the other. As he
came up to me, giving me a fashion-inspired smile, I caught myself about to
drool.

He stood looking at me in a sort of comfortable way, his eyes barely opened
and squinting with sexiness. His crotch area was in direct view with my
head. The bulge that showed in the towel was lively.

"So why wouldn't you want anyone to find us?" I asked him, leaning back and
realizing that I was being coy. I sat up immediately, crouching my back, my
eyes closed a little bit, not trying to look too aroused by his body.

He looked at me closer. His cold impersonal manner seemed to drive my
libido against the tiled walls of his large, private bath steam room. I
just wanted to touch that huge bulge so badly.

He told me, "You know what I want. I know what you want..."

He put his hand on his chest and sort of began to wipe the sweat away with
an open palm. I fought of the urge to lick my lips as I saw his manly chest
and nipples. I saw him glide his hand up and down his torso and abs. I
tried to play hard to get, finding his vanity and security to be alluring
and at the same time challenging to me. It was almost like my body wanted
to give into him but my mind fought profusely to maintain leverage in this
sensual tug-of-war.

I laughed a little and flashed him a smile, "You are so full of
yourself. If I wanted, I could easily walk out of here right now."

"But you won't..."

This guy was really starting to turn me green by now. He had the model
smile on but that smile didn't mean that his words were in fun. He was so
serious about his words. I could hear the weight in them. It was his way of
sexually taunting me.

He was standing almost so full of himself. The way he stood. The sparkle in
his eye. He was the single most conceited person perhaps in the world. It
seemed like no Pop Star, rich guy or even Casanova loved themselves as much
as Robbie did. It made me wonder if he had room inside his heart to really
have emotional baggage for me. If he did have it, he didn't show it. It was
all a physical thing with Robbie. He showed everything. The money and the
sex. He didn't hide either.  He spelled out the sexuality immediately.

Suddenly I got up and made an attempt for the door. Robbie was quick,
quicker than me at least.  He grabbed me by my wrist and swung me back
against the wall. At first I got real defensive, thinking that he actually
meant to hurt me. Then Robbie pressed up against me on the wall, pinning me
there with his two heavy athletic arms serving as gatekeepers for my own
body which had began to take on its own masculine shape from the attention
given to it by Robbie's cohorts.

"What are you doing?" I asked at first, a little pissed by his unnecessary
and sudden roughness, "Get the hell off of me."

"You know you want it..."

His face was so close to mine as he began to play Cops and Robber's with my
lips. He desperately tried to kiss them as I was pinned against the
wall. Each time he had gotten close enough to nipple, but not enough for a
full on wet kiss.

I turned my head away completely, "Look, you have the wrong idea about me.
I'm grateful for all you did. But I think you need to dig a little deeper!
I'm not just that old senator."

He gave a little laugh as I felt his lips press against my ears, "Is this
what its about?"

"What? No."

"Sure it is, you are jealous of that old little senator aren't you?" He
said and licked my ear, making me finally let out a deep sigh of pleasure,
which was probably also me slowly giving into him.

It really wasn't jealousy or envy for the old woman. I truly just didn't
think it was fair. I believed in balance, sort of like scales.

"Two can play that game. Especially if you're leaving for a week!"

I realized that I was a little, probably even more than a little pissed
about everything that had happened that night. I had gotten over the whole
gun thing, figuring those guys were used to being threatened and
abused. Where would I be to step in? I guess it was Antonio who forced me
to pay more attention to that senator Robbie had sex with. It was
irritating to know that he would just go out and fuck people then come home
everyday to continue to woo me.  It wasn't jealousy.  It was annoyance that
he felt I would just sit there and not care or get overwhelmed with
jealousy about it. It made me feel like a 18th century wife who couldn't
say anything when stuff like that happened.

"Don't be stupid. No one in this building is going to even talk to you
without my consent."

I grumbled at the way he said it, but I knew it was true. No one in that
building was dumb enough to do that. I had seen how Robbie treated them. To
be truthful, they were assholes (so Antonio says) who deserved to be
treated like that. All the big dogs did it to the little dogs.

I suddenly broke away from his arms, my full on strength coming through. I
was pissed that he would say that. It definitely wasn't a very sensual
thing to say even if he whispered it while he blew in my ear.

"I'm not your fucking puppet Robbie," I told him, "You make me feel like
I'm nothing..."

It was strange when I said that. I didn't know what I meant by it. With all
the stuff he gave me.  With all the guards and protection he ordered for
me, he made me feel above everyone else. But as long as it came to a
balanced relationship with him...there never was one. He wanted me to think
I was better than everyone, except him. I was lower, we were all lower than
Robbie.

"Look. If you find a guy who likes you," he told me, "Go ahead. Do what you
gotta do. He is going to be the stupid one..."

His words were pissing me off so much and I just wanted to sit in silence
away from him and probably have him think of what he was saying. There
wasn't a lot of thinking on Robbie's part though, before I knew it he was
climbing up on me, again.

"Get off!" I cried again.

This time the only respond I got was him slowly kissing down, slowly his
head going down my chest. I wondered what the hell he was doing just then,
as I saw him slowly pushing down to my belly button. I couldn't believe it
by the time he was unfolding the towel from my waist.

"You want me to do it?" he asked, suddenly catching me at my most fragile,
sort of like shutting me up immediately.

I would have been straight to tell him no, "Of course."

As soon as he took the towel off, my dick was pointed towards his lips
immediately. I looked down not really believing what was happening until I
felt his soft lips pushing up against my cock, engulfing my head
completely. He pushed down on my dick harder, until his lips were sucking
deep onto my shaft. The tingly sensation seemed to be enough to bring my
mind under the influence of quick sensations. Then he began to deep throat
my dick, taking it all into him until I felt like I just wanted to fuck his
face.

"God, its good!" I cheered him on, as if he need more assurance of how
perfect he was.

The talented Mr. R. Knight was sucking my cock. It felt great, like the
feeling where I had to go tell somebody immediately. I was breathing
deeper, watching his tongue play funny tricks on my dick as he sucked
deeper and harder onto me. I found myself biting onto my lip until it bled
from the ecstacy of it all. I couldn't even look down. I couldn't imagine
how his perfect face would look on a dick.

"You want me to play with your balls?"

"Ahhhhhhhh yeah!"

I felt like I had just betrayed all my morals, but I really didn't give two
cents by now. His hot mouth around my cock area made me groan with
excitement. I wanted him more and wanted to feel him more.

After he sucked me to near orgasm he pulled away and I saw pull out a dish
from behind the window screen, where a cool breeze entered the steaming hot
room. I was sweating now, more than ever. The sweat was rolling
everywhere. It definitely was wet. I watched Robbie pull out his bag of
goodies and empty them into my lap. I had never seen someone bringing so
many condoms. Of course they were all extra rugged and thin. Robbie picked
up the one that had rested right on top of my dick.

Suddenly he pulled off the towel and whipped it out. It was like a Python.
The long, incredibly thick dick came out and slapped against his thighs. It
looked like candy and at first made my mouth water. I figured I would suck
it off a little bit, just to pay him back, but not too long to give him
another ego boost. I didn't want him to know that I would probably enjoy
sucking it.

He opened it with his teeth and without hesitation he slipped it on his
dick. I saw him getting the lube ready and I was almost speechless. THIS
GUY WAS FULL OF HIMSELF! I wondered what made him think I was just going to
let him fuck me so easily. I watched, backing up a little and making sure
my ass was stuck on the seat.

"I hope you are just doing that because it feels better to jack to," I
sneered at him, watching him spreading the lube all over his dick.

"Stop fronting. I wanted this for so long. I know that you wanted it to. I
could see the way that you were staring at my dick since you came here. I
been watching that ass of yours forever. It wants my dick. It feigns for my
dick. "

I began to laugh sort of embarrassed that he caught me starring at it. I
wanted to deny it badly, but before I knew it I saw him touching the back
of my neck.

"No, seriously. Don't do it..."

"Its ok, relax. I just want to play with it a little."

He moved his tongue from one side of his mouth to another sort of signaling
me. I guessed it was rim job. I hesitated as I stood up and stood against
the wall, my dick pressing against it. I closed my eyes as I felt Robbie
coming up behind me. He began to lick my ass and my asscheeks. I groaned
happily as he played around them with his finger, separating them until his
lips were kissing my hole playfully. His tongue gave my ass this urging
feeling. I knew that he wasn't really trying to rim me, it was his attempt
at foreplay. I tried to resist, but it was definitely getting to me. I
wanted to say something to him, but nothing came out. I just pounded the
wall as he teased my ass, slowly taking his tongue and whipping it in
circles around the entrance of my ass. He never allowed his tongue to go
too deep into my ass or even bring his finger to dig into my ass.  He just
teased, torturing me slowly until I felt like I was going to die.  His lips
puckered around my ass, blowing into them lightly, making them hot for some
kind of entrance.

"Fuck me!" I suddenly pleaded with him, "I give up. I want you to fuck me.
Please do it, do it now!"

I knew soon that he was no longer on his knees. I felt his hands scaling up
my back. As he lubed of my ass with his large basketball hands, I couldn't
complain. His broad shoulders against mine.  His heavy set abs sent from my
thighs to my ass cheeks. Then there was something else on my ass. This time
it was his stiff, very, very hard cock. It seemed like a piece of
wood. There was nothing, soft, little or gentle about this dick.

"Breath deep," he told me.

I let out a deep sigh as I felt him enter me. The pain wasn't excruciating
at all as he entered me. I felt fully absorbed by him. His dick folded past
the bowels of my tight thrusting ass. Anal sex had never been smooth with
so little effort.

This was the first time Robbie seemed to show a little bit of pleasure,
boosting my esteem a little, "Oh shit! Its just like I thought it would be
like! Ugh..Oh yeah!"

I guess he had lusted after my ass for a long time. He sure seemed like it.
He had made it his mission since I came to the house to find a nonchalant
way to brush against my ass. Whatever had happened in the past seemed to
cause him to want to fuck me slow, taking his time with it.  He began to
rock his hips back and forth, fucking me deeper in my ass. I turned my head
enough to see how his dick was sliding in and out of me. Robbie had his
head bent out towards the roof, his eyes squinting like he was staring out
at the sun or something. His hips moved with mine, pushing his dick further
into me

"Fuck me! Fuck my ass," I said in someone else's voice.

He pushed harder and harder. He fucked me and fucked me whispering shit
into my ear that I wasn't even paying much attention to. His dick kept
entering my ass and sliding completely out only to bring a new pain of
reentering. The squeaky, wet sound of lube filled the room when we both
weren't busy screaming obscene stuff at one another.

He thrusted in and out of me, making a new sensation in my insides every
time that he did so.  Soon he was fucking me in different positions,
bending me over the bench, then near the fountain and then making me ride
his dick for hours.

He cummed multiple times, but Robbie definitely had a sex drive, because
within a minute or two he was back at it. We had used up every single
condom in his condom-full bowl.

****************

"So what, you're just gonna fuck me and leave me?" I asked him, after the
hours of hot sex.

He leaned over and kissed me on my cheek. I think I lost weight from being
in that steam room for so long. My hands were pruned up and my skin felt
like I had just been born. My ass...well that was another story. I was so
sore that I couldn't even sit right. I knew he could see it and I knew that
he probably liked that his dick had gotten me to ache.

"I gotta go, business in Cali needs some investigating."

I wanted to beg him to stay, but I just nodded and looked down soberly. I
hated being alone. I definitely didn't want to be alone after having such a
tender experience.  Robbie wasn't the kinda guy to cuddle after he tore
your ass apart, but I still wanted some kind of comfort with him.

I felt a little bitter from being left, "So you think I'm just gonna wait
around for you?"

"That's exactly what you better do," He laughed and leaned over to kiss me
on the mouth. I pulled away, letting him instead get my cheek again.

He seemed to find my stubbornness amusing as he started to pet my forehead.
I knew even though we had no more condoms, he still would fuck me if I let
him. He seemed to be hinting to that fact now with as he continue to pet
and pamper me. He was rubbing my ass again, trying to finger it and get me
warmed up again. I wondered if I could let him fuck my ass raw. Suddenly
there was a knock on the door. They had been knocking for every ten minutes
of the day. It was becoming annoying now.

"Hey, don't feel bad," He told me suddenly and I saw him smile, "How about
tomorrow I have Antonio take you to buy some stuff? Take your mind off of
missing me."

I nodded soberly, still wanting more from this strange sort of relationship
that we had. I didn't pay much attention to what he was saying about the
shopping, I just wanted to get my mind together. I was so comfortable and
yet I felt so uptight all of the time. It was almost like I was
over-indulging in all this. I was getting too comfortable and it seemed
like I was just letting the world pass me by as I sat around lavishing. I
had a feeling in my stomach like there was something I should have been
doing or someone out there that I should have been talking to. I wanted to
find out everything about my life, but instead I was just told that I knew
this one guy.  This one guy seemed to give me everything I needed, but
didn't allow me to know anything that I wanted to know. Robbie was very
precise about my past, choosing only certain events to tell me about and
those all involved. I had the feeling that there was something else I
should be doing this whole time.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Robbie left late that night, saying that he had to rush to California for
whatever reason. I was left a lone again, sometimes having Antonio to cheer
me up but he seemed to be a little interested in himself as well. He was
very excited about Robbie's shopping spree and the next day I found myself
driving up the streets of Downtown.

He had left me with my ass hurting enough for Antonio to make notice of it,
"Why are you walking like that?"

I just sort of shrugged and tried to straighten out my walk. My ass was
still pulsating from what had happened the day before. I didn't know how to
handle it. It was a feeling that I rarely had.

We were walking through the mall, Antonio and I. It wasn't just us. I knew
that Robbie wouldn't just let me go out on myself. He had that protective
thing about him. He kept saying things like, "I'm not going to lose you
again." It was very suspicious making me wonder what he meant by it.
Either way I was being trailed by Robbie's personal terror mafia. It was
almost like they were more dangerous than anything out there for me to
face.

I had an urge to get away. I had bags of stuff and nothing that I really
needed. They were material things, things that seemed to cost more to the
dunce than to the wary. I caught my eye on a bookstore, it was strange. I
took a step towards it.

"Hey, you're going the wrong way," Antonio said, pointing the branch of
Gucci where he wanted to buy gator shoes, "Come this way."

"Nah, you guys go on ahead. I'm gonna take a look in here."

Antonio changed glances with the other strange men in black. I could see
the hesitance in his eyes. Suddenly I saw him pulling me away from the
group, so they wouldn't be too nosy.

"Are you serious? Robbie would kill me if I left you."

"Relax. I wanna go get some reading done. I'm sure I could read that whole
library by the time you finish picking out the right jockstrap."

He laughed and then I heard him sigh, "Ok fine. But stay there. Don't walk
around."

I rolled my eyes at him and turned around the bookstore. I felt a fatuous
felicity from being surrounded by so many works of literature. I wanted to
know more. The feeling that I had in me was bringing me to a state of
happiness. There were rows and rows of books, it was almost like you could
get lost in it. I could see a couple of eyes following me. I knew I looked
strange in the store. I mean, I was dressed like I was worth more than the
whole mall. I tried not to pay too much attention to them, I was used to
looking out of place. The literature works seemed endless, to the point
that I was finding myself completely dressed by them.

To kill a Mockingbird, the Odessey and a Wrinkle in Time were among the few
books that caught my eyes as I dressed the aisles. Sometimes, I so
desperately wanted to be like the people in those books. I wanted to have
something happen to me that would make me into a hero.

Reading between the highlights of these books, I imagined that before I
lost my memory, I was a character from one of them. I began to think that
before I had lost my memory, I was Holden from A Catcher in the Rye. I was
like Denver from Beloved, the shy, intelligent, introspective, sensitive
person inclined to spend hours alone in my "emerald closet."

Suddenly there was a book, a book that seemed to take me immediately. I
read the back. It was about a man who opens up his heart. He becomes a
testament to the redemptive power of love and compassion.

"Les Miserables," a voice suddenly said, "You have refined taste."

I turned around to see a guy. He was tall and had a thick, yet attractive
masculinity to him. His face was genuine, sort of like one of those people
who would criticize other people for being fake because they were so
"real". He definitely was a sexy guy. His torso showing through halfway
buttoned shirt. His body was shaped slim and tall like a basketball player.
He seemed to have a maturity and understanding that just seemed to come out
of his eyes. I realized that he was definitely one of the many people that
eyed me as I was walking into the shop.

"A french book," I realized, already beginning to flip through the pages.

"Yes, it's a play," the strange boy said, "Its about a guy named Jean
Valjean. He is an ex-convict that comes out of French prison after 19 years
for stealing a loaf of bread.  The story dwells on the hope of
change. Valjean's love for others in particular, for Cosette is what keeps
him from going in desperate times."

"Cosette? Is it his lover?"

He paused a little and laughed unsteadily for reasons that I really don't
know, "There are many types of loves, but no its not his lover."

I started to talk to this guy more. He definitely loved to talk about
literature. His words were at times shallow and at other times very deep. I
wondered at first if he was flirting, but then realized he was way too shy
to do something like that. He was generally trying to have a good
conversation, making points about the motifs and symbols that are found in
the story. I realized halfway throughout our conversation that he had
definitely ruined the whole book.

His name was Quarrion. A strange name that he insisted wasn't sexy. The way
he said it definitely turned me on. I kept making small references about
how I wish I had a boyfriend with that name.

When I said it, I saw his eyes kind of bulged and then he just slowly put
on a small smirk of probably confusion or complete discomfort. I wasn't
quite sure. It didn't scare him off though. I had never seen a 'straight'
person so intrigued about me being gay as a matter of fact. If anything,
after I said that I wanted a "boyfriend" and his name in the same sentence,
he only seemed a little more interested in the conversation.

He had the biceps of a god. I patted his shoulder at one point after
laughing and pretending like it was just a motion to keep me from falling
over from laughter. Instead I just wanted to feel him up. His body was
hard. He laughed too as I touched him, not making any gesture to move my
hand away. His body was definitely sexy like he was about to be in a porn
movie or something.

I didn't want to stop him though, his voice seemed to find a comfort about
me. I urged him to keep talking, giving him what I guess he wanted. He kept
explaining about this love affair between the girl Cosette and a man named
Marius from the book. Our conversation turned quickly to passion and
romance. This was when I definitely found the mind to flirt, slowly moving
close to him and looking deep in his eyes just as Robbie had did me.  Of
course I spoke a lot more than Robbie had any need to do and with a lot
more interest. I guess he liked the outcome of the little mixup that I had
going because before I knew it he felt comfortable enough to touch the side
of my face.

"You must be a Libra," he told me and then he sort of put the book back,
"You're so charming and you don't even seem to notice it."

Charm. So that was what I had that made Robbie like me so much. I had no
idea what the hell I was to tell the truth. Robbie said that when my
birthday came I would know because he would throw me a party or something.
I guess my own birthday was not going to be a surprise.

"I can be more than just charming," I played with the words, trying to make
my eyes twinkle.

He laughed, "Nah, you aren't a Scorpio. There is a difference between charm
and manipulation."

Robbie was a Scorpio. I looked at this guy. He seemed very in touch with
literature and the finer things in life. It wasn't a surprise that he knew
a lot about that too. We seemed to definitely both have deep words in this
conversation. I guess I had no other reason but to start blabbering on as
well.

I loved it that he didn't ask me about my past and I didn't ask him. We
only knew each other names and yet by that hour we were hitting it off like
old friends. It was almost like he didn't have to know my whole agenda to
get to know me. We didn't need our experience to make a conversation. We
could just start talking.

"I'm not a charmer," I told him and turned around, "Yet all the time I'm
constantly charmed.  There is no length to measure beauty, but once you see
beauty in its truest form, it becomes more like a curse than a blessing.
Sometimes I hope that when I do fall in love, it will be an easy love.  It
will be a forever young love, where the charming is hard and the torture is
worth it. I'm not a charmer, Quarrion, I barely know the beginning. I can
only tell you what I want. I want love... I don't want love in mixed in
with the tradition and expectations. I want the purest form of love. A
fairytale love that you can always feel through a kiss."

There was a brief silence and then there was the sexual tension that sprang
out of some hardy but very different type of flirting. Before I knew it,
our eyes were locking. It was almost like I knew that the stares could only
mean so much since we had just met, but still we stared. We thoroughly
stared, until finally I saw him leaning forward. His lips were puckering up
to embrace that funny feeling I knew that we both were suddenly having in
the midst of our stomach.

Then I saw Antonio suddenly interrupt us, "Damien, stop!"

I looked and saw Antonio. The mob was probably waiting outside. He came and
grabbed me by the arm taking me away from Quarrion. I knew that I was
probably getting carried away anyway so only half of me wanted Antonio dead
for stopping the kiss from happening.

"Relax Antonio," I told him, taking the "R" word from Antonio, who seemed
to use it every 5 minutes telling me to relax for one reason or another.

Quarrion reached his hand out to probably shake Antonio's hand, while
asking me, "Is this your...ah...your friend?"

Antonio declined Quarrion's hand. I worried on how it would look to him. I
mean Antonio wasn't the MOST masculine type guy and it wasn't hard to know
that he was gay if you looked at him long enough, with the careful way that
he carried himself. He seemed like he could definitely pass as a guy from
QueerEyeForTheStraightGuy. Quarrion knew that he was gay and by the way
Antonio was acting, he looked a little like a jealous boyfriend. I hoped he
didn't think Antonio was my boyfriend.

"We are just friends," I poised, stressing the word 'just'.

"Good," Quarrion said suddenly, seeming a little relieved with his quick
smiles.

I wondered what he meant by good. Was it a good like "good that he didn't
have to be embarrassed" Or was it a "good, because then he won't get in the
way of me being your boyfriend." Either way I sort of hesitated about him.

"Damien, be careful of the guys you talk to," Antonio warned me, making no
attempt to hide his defensive words from Quarrion at all, "You can get us
both in major trouble."

"Relax Antonio," I repeated and looked at Quarrion, "I guess I'd better get
going. It was nice to meet you."

"Wait," he told me stopping me immediately in my footsteps. I hoped he
would stop me.

"Yeah?"

"Well here's my number," Quarrion said, quickly taking a pen and scribbling
his number on my hand, "Maybe you can call me sometime."

I smiled and walked out. It was definitely nice to meet someone new even
though Antonio was getting whiney about it. Antonio didn't trust that guy
at all and I guess the close kiss thing probably didn't help my cause. I
guess I did that just to prove to myself that I wasn't depending too much
on Robbie if I needed a little bit of romance. Now I guess I wanted to
prove it to Robbie. I kept the number, knowing that I might have a reason
to use it later.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

THANKS FOR YOUR EMAILS AGAIN. I READ AND REPLIED TO ALL OF THEM AS I
PROMISED THAT I WOULD. I REALLY DO APPRECIATE THE FEEDBACK ON THE
CHAPTERS AND WOULD LIKE NOTHING MORE TO FIND OUT WHAT EVERYONE
READING LDV IS THINKING AS THEY READ IT.