Date: Sun, 12 Sep 2004 00:13:49 -0400
From: S N <sum1plezzcall_911@hotmail.com>
Subject: Ladulcevida, Chapter 16

       Disclaimer: This is a FICTIONAL story describing the life and
problems from the POV of a young man.  If you find this type of story
offensive, or viewing this material is illegal where you are, then refrain
from reading it.

      This story is a continuation of Rain_On_Me (found in HIGHSCHOOL
section of nifty)
       Feel free to send email or comments about the story to
       sum1plezzCall_911@hotmail.com or sammie_g86@yahoo.com

-Sorry about the wrong email that I had up before.

Edited

POV will switch between two main characters, Damien and Adrian. Thanks T.W,
you know why.

      LaDulceVida- The Sweet Life

                                          PANDORA'S BOX

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Adrian

I had never felt so close to Eric in my life as I did when I was wrapped up
with him on the bed at that moment. The feeling of how his dick was in me,
his arms surrounding my torso to keep our chests close to one another. It
had been hours of strong, almost endless humps deep into my body with balls
beating against my cheeks. There had been heavy breathing, sweating and
even curses that had come from the sensational feeling of closeness. We had
been fucking hard, harder than we had in a while. He had fucked me until I
was afraid I would be like a little girl and scream for him to slow down. I
didn't scream though. I bit into his neck to muffle the sound. My teeth
left a little imprint on his skin as he bellowed in pure ecstacy. I felt
sedated as the sweet caramel dick rampaged even harder into my ass as
though in revenge for me biting down on his neck so hard. I was a little
loose, feeling almost like I was going to faint from the power of it all.

I had wrapped my hands around his neck because I needed some sort of
support as he raised my ass up in his palms until I was at the tip of his
dick, then slammed it back down. It felt like a jailhouse fuck, like I was
being raped or something. Of course, I was the one who wanted it like
this. Eric was way too gentle to do something like this on his own. I
wanted him to tear into my ass the way he was doing. It wasn't pain. Pain
was a word for the weak. This was true emotion.

That was when Damien came in.

Damien...Damien! Damien...Damien?

He was standing there looking at us. I wanted to do something, but didn't
know what. I felt Eric suddenly stop moving, both of our bodies going
increasingly numb until I even felt Eric's chest stop taking in air. His
chest was completely still against mine. Me, on the other hand, my heart
was beating way too fast. I was breathing way too much air. My mouth had
dropped open completely.

"Oops," he finally broke the silence.

I wanted to run off the bed and kill him just then. I knew everything could
fall apart. I felt so alone, almost needing some sort of advice. Where was
Jay?! What would Jay do if he was in this position?! Fuck, I felt like a
deer caught up in headlights.

"What---I...what...." Eric stuttered underneath me.

He was trying to talk, even though he couldn't even breath. He couldn't
even move. His dick was still stuck in me, still hard. In fact it was
twitching now. He was staring out at Damien (who seemed like he was slowly
trying to back out of the room).

"I'll come back later," Damien finally managed to say and I saw him turn
around.

That was when Eric let out a sound. I had never heard a sound like that. It
was sort of like he was trying to say 100 things at the same moment. It was
loud like a scream but then deep like a moan.  Suddenly I felt his whole
body start to move again, like people did when they were cold and
shivering. It was like he had finally gotten his body to move, but now he
didn't know how to control it. The sensation of his vibrating dick sent
such an ENORMOUS tension between us. I knew that he was cumming.

Eric shot semen into my ass, while all the while he was looking out at
Damien in disbelief. String after string began to explore my inner
regions. The liquid flowed into me thoroughly, shooting up so far that I
think it went into my stomach. He seemed to have filled me up, in this long
sort of orgasm that didn't seem to stop. I couldn't help but start to moan
with him from surprise or whatever emotion I was feeling at the time. I had
to pull up, feeling too much sperm entering my ass and no way for it to get
out.

That was when Damien shot out of the room, probably knowing that it was
time to leave.

I didn't know what to think or what to do! The complete unexpected moment
seemed to make me turn blue in the face. Eric pushed me off of him
immediately, probably knowing it was real by the breeze that came after
Damien closed the door again.

When Eric came off of me, sperm was still coming out of his dick, even
though it seemed to have softened up a little now. He ran across the room
and out of the door, naked and with creamy, thick sperm leaking off his
cock. He ran after Damien.

"Eric wait!" I called out, not knowing what else to say.

He wasn't listening. I had never felt so ignored in my life. He had
completely tossed me off of him after such good sex. I had to chase him...I
had to cause some type of intervention. I didn't know what to do. I didn't
know what to say. I just wrapped the bed sheet across my waist and started
to run after him.

Running down the stairs I began to get afraid. What kind of luck did I have
that Damien showed up exactly the weekend that I was spending at Elle's
house? Then I wondered what he wanted and how he got past the locked
door. I had made certain I locked the door.

I felt almost naked running down the stairs, in a house that wasn't mine
with a bed sheet wrapped around my waste. Then I realized Eric. He had left
a sperm trail coming down the stairs. He was standing at the door. He had
caught Damien! I couldn't believe it. Part of me wanted to take off down
the street before Eric found out what I did, but then another part of me
knew that if I did it, I would only be giving Eric back to Damien. I
couldn't let that happen. I desperately didn't want Eric to find out what
had happened.

I saw how Eric was holding onto Damien. Damien seemed a little scared, well
sort of apprehensive and for what I thought was for good reason. It wasn't
everyday a hot, naked, orgasmic guy chased you down the stairs and had his
hands holding onto you like you were sacred Gandhi. Eric's eyes had that
concentration in them that I had NEVER seen. He was completely
concentrating on Damien now.

He was lost for words, I could tell because at time his lips were moving,
but nothing could come out. He was just holding him. I felt sort of aroused
to see Eric there. I mean, I had not cum and the horniness was there no
matter how uncomfortable I was now. Eric's strong ass muscles and his godly
features were so much for me that I wanted to jerk my cock right there and
then. His dick was not erect, but still thick and long. It swayed back and
forth, with semen surrounding its olive colored head. I wanted to cry and
suddenly I just did. It was because of how Eric pinned Damien down. There
was nothing in the world that could deny how united they seemed. Eric's nut
was filling my ass right now and I still knew it meant nothing, if Damien
was still in the picture. I never wanted to be someone else as much as I
did now. I never wanted to be Damien as much as I did now.

"Umm...hi," Damien said, looking a little freaked out by the whole
situation. His mouth twisted up and I could tell he didn't know who Eric
was.

"Damien...is it really you?"

Damien's face frowned up as Eric asked the question. I looked around
desperately from the middle of the stairs. They were standing at the
door. I wanted to do something. I had the urge to set the house on fire or
something crazy that would take attention off of the situation. I saw Elle.
She was watching. Suddenly I realized. This must have been all of her
fault.

"You know me?" Damien asked, finally not feeling as freaked out by Eric. I
could see his growing interest in Eric. Things were slowly crumbling.

I watched Elle. She was enjoying this. She was enjoying everything that I
worked on slowly being ripped apart. I saw the smirk grow in the corner of
her lip. She looked like she was watching some romantic movie or
something. It seemed like she was about to cry in anger, she was about to
cry in happiness. It must have been her. Who else had the key to the room?

"Damien, its me Eric," he told Damien.

"Eric...Eric..." Damien repeated slowly and said, "You are the one who
wrote me that letter. It was the only thing that I had from my past. There
is so much I want to ask you."

They looked long in each other's eyes. It was like they were communicating
without any words.  Eric didn't even care that Elle and I were standing
there as Damien had the door open. Half of the community was probably
looking at Eric's naked body by now. I saw people from outside the
window. They were staring wondering what was happening.

Eric's eyes were confused a little by now, "You...don't remember me?"

That was when I saw Elle talk, "Damien has no memory of what happened. Most
likely it is from the accident where he was presumed dead. Somehow he
survived."

Eric was fighting back tears now. I never saw him fight back to cry so
much.  Usually he just cried if he felt like it. Now, it was like he was
trying to show off for Damien. He was putting on a front of self-confidence
with all that was going on. I knew he was just as scared as everyone.
Damien just stared back at him. Damien seemed to be more comfortable with
Eric's naked body now. Eric pulled him closer, slowly. Soon enough, their
bodies were pressed up against one another. Eric's naked body was against
Damien's nice outfit. I didn't think that they could get any closer. Eric
lips might of well had been on Damien's lips. It was strange that Damien
wouldn't feel so uncomfortable with a naked person standing there, their
lips so close together. So close, that in a single gesture they could
kiss. Was he beginning to remember? No, it couldn't be. He would have said
he remembered.

"I'm so sorry," Eric said as he held him even closer, "There is so much I
prayed on telling you.  I'm so sorry that I didn't stop you. It is all my
fault what happened. I should have protected you. I feel... I dunno...I'm
sort of..."

Guilty...he let out a thick sigh. He was still trying to talk and trying to
calm down at the same time. He seemed so nervous. The way he had Damien
now, I could tell he didn't want to ever let him go. His arms held him
close, squeezing his sides. It was crazy how it was like a romantic movie.
Too much like a romantic movie. A fucked up one at that. The plot and
characters were all mixed up. This was the trash that came from it...two
confused souls with no real connection but a past.

"There is something that is so warm about your face," Damien suddenly said.
While Eric was nervous trying to chose his words as carefully as ever,
Damien seemed to be at full ease now.

Suddenly I saw a face at the door that I really had never planned on seeing
again. Antonio was standing there. His eyes were focused across at us. THIS
WAS THE WORST DAY EVER! First Eric finds Damien and now Antonio shows
up. Of all the rotten shit that could happen, this was among the worst. I
was tapping on the banister. I was trying to keep myself balanced, but
found it harder by the moment. I just wanted to explode on everything and
everyone.  They couldn't ignore me the way they were doing now. I was
standing there. Why didn't anyone see me? It would be clear to see how
pissed I was if they could just pay attention. Why was Damien the one who
got all the attention? They would have to understand soon enough. I would
make them understand. I wanted them to know that as long as an Adrian was
in the storyline, I would never be shunned.

"Damien, you must have a thing for strangers today," Antonio suddenly said
talking to Damien.

I wanted to piss my pants. The fact that Antonio knew Damien seemed to
ironic to handle. It was like a bad dream that you found out wasn't a
dream. What was more strange was what happened next. I saw Antonio walk in
and sort of give Eric a little shove away from Damien. Of course Eric
smacked his hand away quickly.

"Get off of him!"

Antonio looked a little irritated, "Look. I don't have time for this.
Damien, if you want a strange naked guy then I'll get you one. But you
might wanna take a look at the time."

By now I was figuring maybe Antonio was a blessing in disguise. Maybe he
would fix this without me having to do something crazy. They needed to be
separated one way or another.  Damien pulled up what seemed to be a watch
to check the time. It was the same exact watch that Antonio had given
me. Damien looked at the time and I noticed Eric looking at the watch. We
all were looking at the goddam watch. A smile spread out across Antonio's
face.

"The Syndicate watch..." Eric said softly.

Damien tried to pull away, "Shit I gotta go."

Eric didn't let Damien go far. I saw him roughly pulling Damien back into
him. I had known how strong Eric was. He definitely was stronger than he
looked. He grabbed onto Damien, almost selfishly.

"No please...its Robbie isn't it? Are you with Robbie?"

"Yes. You know Robbie?"

Suddenly I realized that I had to intervene. Antonio wasn't working fast
enough. I walked down the stairs, with the sheets wrapped around my waist
and all. It was getting late into the evening now.

I pulled at Eric, "Eric, come in. Let him go. Seems like he has someone
now.  He has Robbie. I have to talk to you about something anyway."

"Adrian, no," Eric suddenly said, "I'm so sorry. This isn't the time. I
want to talk to Damien...I only want to talk with Damien now."

He had said more, more stinging words, but I chose not to listen. I crawled
back on the staircase, completely hurt. My chest was hurting and I was
clutching it, trying to breath. Eric had finished dumping me and the whole
time he had not let go of Damien. He was STILL holding him. That was the
harshest part. While I clutched my chest in pain, he just forgot about me
and went to Damien. No one could know the kind of pain I felt.

"Shit, I have to go," Damien said and then gave Eric a smile, nonchalantly
speaking, "It was nice to meet you---"

"No!"

I turned my head and noticed what was happening. Eric had clutched onto
Damien's arm, squeezing it tightly. The bond that he wanted to keep with
Damien was probably making him a little crazy now. I bet he realized
exactly what I felt at that moment. He was trying to pull at someone he
cared about but the person seemed totally oblivious of how serious the
passion was for them. It was almost like he was replaying our whole
situation.

"He said we have to go! Robbie is waiting," Antonio said, adding the Robbie
part to sort of add a punch to the blow.

I knew he wanted to get physical with Eric. Probably force Eric to do what
he wanted. Antonio was a big guy muscle wise, but Eric was
stronger. Antonio wasn't stupid enough to go that path again though. I
guess he remembered what happened at the club and how Eric had hit him. I
knew Antonio knew that Eric could be as strong as he wanted to when he was
mad enough.

Eric ignored Antonio. No one meant anything to him but Damien.

"You can't leave now! I just saw you after more than two years of thinking
you are dead! How can you just leave?! I can't let you go."

"Look, I'm sorry. I want to get to know about you too. Maybe we can talk
later but I have to go now."

I wanted to spit at how cute Damien was making it sound. He seemed so
sophisticated, no emotion at all. He did what was expected of him but every
now and then there was a look in his eye full of passion and care. His
voice alone was a voice that you could easily pick from a crowd.  Damien
was just...different. Elle had walked up to Eric, helping him release his
grip on Damien.  It seemed like he needed help with doing it. It seemed
like it was probably the hardest thing he had ever done. His hands had been
shivering as he did it.

I felt sick as I thought he was going to cry. Where the fuck was this guy
from? He was either too emotional or just plain going crazy. It was like as
surprising as getting drunk on a Sunday night and not even throwing up. I
watched as Eric was standing at the door. I watched as Damien looked at him
and they exchanged that charade of anxiousness. Damien had no idea what was
going on, but yet he had still let a naked man touch on him.

Live from the living room of some crazy bitch named Elle, I watched a drama
unfold. They were the wrong characters. I watched Eric break down into an
emotional distress as he allowed Damien to just walk out of the door and
into a car with Antonio. I wondered if he would have let Damien go if
Damien hadn't want to go. I could have imagined the catastrophe that would
have come up if Damien actually wanted to stay with Eric. Eric would do
anything to keep Damien there and I knew that Antonio was a good enough
employee of Robbie to do anything to take Damien back. It would have ended
in tragedy. The dilemma truly ended the best way. Damien was gone again and
hopefully this time for good.

It was still so odd to me why these mature, FINE men were fighting over
this boy. I mean Damien was hot in his own way, sort of attractive in a way
you would be attracted to a childhood friend. Always the low voiced boy
with wide ears that you can tell your secrets and ambitions to.  His body
was something else too. He had incredible cheekbones, intense eyes and an
ass that seemed to reign supreme on a throne of attractive asses. It was
the dream of any man who owned a dick (and probably some women who wish
they did).  To tell the truth, I would have probably wooed him for sexual
reasons or maybe even more. The problem is that even with how Damien tried
to stick out of the crowd, he seemed to me like around all that deep
feeling and emotion was just a normal, confused guy. His mind had become
such a mess.

Eric was bent over by the doorstep. His ballsack hung like a ornament from
between his legs. I think by now he was growing aware that he was
butt-naked still. Elle had closed the door, leaving the room full with
leftover tension from what had just happened.

"What the fuck just happened?" Eric asked, not looking up at anyone as he
demanded his answers, "Somebody tell me that what happened was just a
dream!"

A dream. That was exactly what I had been thinking this whole thing was.

"Eric, you should calm first," Elle said and then reached her hand out,
"After that then we'll talk about what happened."

What?! I wanted to choke her. What did she mean they were going to talk
about everything? If it wasn't clear before that Elle had something to do
with Damien showing up, then I was sure now.  I couldn't believe she was
digging in his business like this. Elle had gone to him. I couldn't believe
the bitch at the moment. She went up to Eric almost like she was trying to
comfort him.

"Shut UP ELLE!" I hollered at her, completely forgetting where I was or
that Eric was even there.  I was just so pissed at her.

They both looked at me. Eric's eyes were full of tears. He had managed to
get one of Elle's old robes from the closet to wear, but soon enough he was
just slouching again.  Elle's eyes seemed the same solemn, sad way they had
been looking for days now. I didn't even care anymore. She deserved Jay to
leave her and probably even more. She had been a total bitch to me. For
what?  Because I could care less who she got pregnant by. Was I supposed to
care? I had the right mind to punch Elle in her goddam stomach and see how
she liked it when people fucked with her. I knew it was immature that I
wasn't handling this well, but no one could judge me. No one was in my
position. Someone had to tell her to shut up. She was talking "way" too
much. Jay had warned me that Elle was going to be a problem but I didn't
listen.

"Look, Adrian, we have to tell him," Elle said as though she was opening a
confessional, "We have to tell him what we did. There is no regret that I
can give that will aide this. William Cowper once said, 'Glory built on
selfish principles is shame and guilt.'"

Eric looked confused, "What was that?"

The BITCH was getting him thinking.

"Elle what the fuck!" I was crying by now, "Is this about Jay!"

Elle looked down and then bent her head. She was in deep thought I guess. I
couldn't stand it. I was shivering. I looked at Eric. I didn't know what to
say to him at all.  What if he found out what I had done? He would hate
me. How could she betray me like this?

"At first, it was about revenge," Elle explained, looking over at me and
then at Eric, "I felt so pissed that my own friend had abandoned me. Then I
saw the Damien and Eric together, so---"

"Elle, you better be careful what you say," I warned her, balling my fists,
"You can never take them back. This isn't just about me. We are all in
this."

There was a long pause. I saw Eric's wandering eyes. He was trying to
figure out what we were talking about. I wish she just had left the room
then. Maybe I could still make up something that would make Eric believe
me. There was still a chance that I could still be with him. There was
always that chance as long as everything wasn't revealed. A lie told often
enough becomes a truth. My heart could not believe these lies any more than
they could believe facts.

Elle could use all the quotes from men as she wanted. I remembered one
though, from school.  One by Adolf Hitler. He was an evil man, no
doubt. Still he believed in something. He believed in his dreams. And he
said, 'No one ever asked the victor if he told the truth.'

"I realize that we are all in this," Elle finally said and then looked over
at Eric, "I hope you can forgive what we have done in this house. There are
no words that I can say that will lessen this blow. I just can't take it to
lie anymore. I have to tell you."

"What are you talking about?" Eric asked.

I knew Eric was not emotionally or mentally ready to handle what Elle was
about to say. I wanted to run again, run out the door and not have to face
up to this.

Elle's stare turned cold as though bracing Eric, "Jay, Adrian and I knew
Damien was alive for a while now. We found him. He had no memory about what
was going on. He had scars from the accident on the bridge. It was clear
that the accident was the reason for his memory lapse. We didn't call a
hospital. We didn't call his family. We didn't tell you.  Robbie wouldn't
have this because the hospital, his family and you would have taken Damien
away from him. We told Robbie so that Robbie will let you guys go back on
tour. We handed him to Robbie."

Her words weren't very comforting. I turned my face because I knew Eric was
looking at me for some kind of answers. I didn't want to lie to him
anymore. A part of me had that feeling that Elle had. There had been way
too many lies going around. I still hated her, I hated her more than I
hated anyone...even Damien. That was saying a lot, since Damien was the
only person that I ever wished would die.

"Adrian, you lied to me? How long did you know about this?"

My look traveled off of his. It had been way too long that I had kept the
secret. It was the truth to me. It was what my heart decided to believe. I
turned my head about to answer him but then I felt his hands rushing
me. Suddenly I felt like he was going to hit me. He raised me off the
ground in a threatening way that I never thought Eric would do to me. I
felt so afraid. I had seen this look in his eyes before. I saw it the day
that he hit Antonio back at the club trying to defend me. The innocent, shy
guy had once again become the emotional, sentimental guy. It was like
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

He shook me violently, "You lied to me all this time! Right to my face!
Making me feel like I'm obsessive over a dead person while you all along
know that he is alive!"

"You are!" I spat back at him, "Regardless if he was dead or not. You are
showing your true colors now! I couldn't tell you because I knew you would
leave me for him.  Just like you are doing now. I've been here while he has
been out there having Robbie change his fucking diapers!  So go ahead hit
me! If he is alive or not, you still said you loved me. Why should things
change?  Hit me if you want, but I still love you!"

He looked at me and then I felt him drop me.

Half of me really wanted him to hit me. Maybe I would have felt better if
he hit me. Maybe I wouldn't have felt so guilty about the shit I had done,
if he hit me. I felt like maybe we would have been even. I felt the a sort
of passion in his eyes. I wondered if it was because he really did care
about me. Suddenly when he dropped me, I felt that big guilt again.

"I'm leaving," he finally said.

"Where are you going?" I answered, following him upstairs.

I chased behind him as I watch him start to get dressed in his things. I
couldn't let him go. I didn't know what he was going to do. He was dressing
so rapidly. I was afraid on whether to touch him or not, because I knew
that he might snap on me in the mental condition he was in.

"Eric, please forgive me!" I begged, putting down my pride once again only
when my only true love was around, "I never meant to hurt you."

He ignored me, his beautiful eyes turned completely red from the strain of
tears that he had put on them earlier. His caramel smooth skin had become a
dark maroon from the amount of blood circulation that was flowing through
him. He looked like he was a glass that had just been broken. His eyes
didn't even look at me. I guess I knew this would be the reaction that
would occur if Eric ever found out, but I never dreamed Eric would actually
find out.

I had dreams of us going on tour. I had dreams of us leaving New Jersey and
never coming back.  We had only come back because Elle was pregnant and now
she was using this to ruin my life.

"Stop making tired excuses," he finally mentioned to me as he packed up his
clothes and was on his way out.

I wanted to hit him, punch him in his face or something. I knew when Eric
was mad he was strong, but I figured so was I. I wasn't the fighting type
or truthfully not really the masculine type compared with guys like Damien,
Eric and Jay. Still I wanted to smash his goddam head in for denying me for
long. But then again...I just wanted to kiss him.

"You have to believe me," I pleaded again with an urge to fall to my knees
and suck him off until he forgave me, "Things got out of hand. I was going
to tell you about Damien. I swear it. I was just waiting for the right
time."

"And what about Robbie? What's your excuse for telling Robbie about him
instead of me?"

"I...well..."

Shit! I couldn't think about it. Before I knew it, he had stopped waiting
on my answer and started heading down the streets with me chasing him. Then
he was gone, taking off in his father's car down the street and away from
the house. I didn't believe how fast he walked out.

I knew that I had to get him back. I didn't know how. I needed to try
something desperate. I would do something that would make him believe that
all I ever wanted to do was be with him. I trusted everything that had
happened. The protection I felt when Eric was always with me suddenly
seemed to break off and away. I had become just another boy. I only knew
one place to go. Jay had got me into this mess so he would have to get me
out. I picked up the phone silently and began to dial Jay's cell phone
number. Something about me didn't know Jay would pick up his phone. He
hadn't picked up his phone all week mostly because we both knew for sure
that I was probably calling to ask him more about Elle. He didn't want to
deal with that. Now his pregnancy problem had led my problem into getting
completely exposed.

It rang once...I could see that it was raining heavily outside by now. It
reminded me of all the tears that I saw Eric cry. He seemed so
overwhelmed. I hated Elle for putting him through that.

It rang twice...my mind had gone over to Damien and the Syndicate. He had
looked just like he was among them now. If you hadn't known who he was, you
would see no difference from him and Antonio. They seemed so close,
probably like they were friends now. Two of the people who I abhorred the
most liked each other. How ironic.

Suddenly Jay picked up the phone.

<Hello,> his voice said, in a sleepy manner. He always slept at the oddest
hours.

<Jay. Eric found out. Elle got mad about the pregnancy thing and complained
on how we were treating her. She told him everything.>

There was a short and yet intense silence.

<Ok, ok. Don't worry. I knew something like this was going to happen. Let
me tell you exactly what we are going to do...>

With those words I knew my life wasn't going to be the same. I knew that
everything that I had, I would have to fight to get back. That meant no one
would get in my way. Not Damien or Elle. I realized that as the times
called for it, Jay would only get more and more cynical.

Elle had opened Pandora's box. There was a smell of flowers and it is the
cynic who figures that there must be a coffin nearby.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




DAMIEN


"That was crazy!" I finally said as we got into the car.

Antonio wasn't half as smiley as I was, "Never again."

"What are you talking about?"

"I mean, I can't let you go back there anymore. I am definitely going to
get into deep shit. Robbie is going to kill me!"

I looked at him. Antonio was becoming a worry wart. I had just had the
craziest moment of my life happen and all he seemed to care about was what
Robbie was going to think about it. It had happened so fast. I had walked
upstairs and saw Adrian's boyfriend sexing him up like Adrian was a
sissy. Then I walked out, like anyone would. What happened next was crazy?!
Adrian's boyfriend had chased me down the stairs, naked and all! I thought
he was going to kick my ass for intruding. Instead he hugged me! It was
crazy.

Antonio's face went into a serious like stare, "You have to stop laughing.
Really. This isn't funny.  This is really serious."

"Who was that guy?"

Antonio's face went pale. I definitely exceeded my five minutes and I knew
that the driver was probably going to rat out to Robbie everything that had
happened that day.  It was worth it in a strange way. I mean it wasn't
everyday that some hot naked guy ran up to you and hugged you while his
semi-erect cock nailed into my stomach region. The guy was SO hot.  I had
this attraction to him that was enough to send me flirting with him just to
see what he would say.  Of course I had no idea what he was talking about,
when the guy did speak, but I liked looking at his lips.

"I can't tell you..."

"Gimme the cellphone. I'll ask Robbie. God, Antonio."

I wanted to tell him to grow some balls or something but I was way too nice
of a guy to go that far and insult his masculinity. He handed me his
high-tech gizmo and I realized Robbie's number was on speed dial. I
probably didn't remember where I grew up or who my parents were, but I did
have enough intelligence to know how to work a phone.

<Hello.>

<Hey, Damien. I missed you so much.>

His voice wasn't helping. He had this sexual voice, even on the phone his
voice had SEX written all over it. It was like he was the voice of a phone
sex operator or something. It was smooth and low, deep and romancing. All I
wanted to do was touch him up or something. I was so horny right now it was
unbelievable. In one day, two guys had hit on me. One of them had a 8 inch
cock that swung like a jungle vine and had grinded up against me for a good
5 minutes. If I weren't horny now than I didn't know what horny was.

<Robbie, I met someone today. His name was Eric. He wrote me a letter a
long time ago. It was a love letter Robbie. Do you know who he is?>

I guess I said it to make him sort of jealous. He had made it perfectly
clear that no one under him would try to hit on me as long as he was
there. I guess I proved him wrong.

<What! How did you meet him! Was Antonio there!>

Dang...I didn't wanna make him 'that' jealous.

<Robbie calm down. Answer my question and I'll answer yours. Who is he to
me?>

<Damien don't fuck with me! How did you meet him?>

I couldn't believe he was acting so shitty all of a sudden. He was acting
like he owned me. The way he said it was almost like he was demanding that
I tell him immediately.  I wasn't a stubborn person (at least as far as I
could remember) but this was really pissing me off.

<How am I fucking with you? This isn't fair. You answer me and I will
answer you.>

<You know what. Just put Antonio on the phone.>

<Whatever.>

I handed the phone over to Antonio and watched as he completely and totally
ratted me out to his boss. He didn't even look me in the eyes as I did
it. I didn't blame him though. I mean it was Robbie that I was mad at. He
really thought that he owned me or something like he did the rest of the
people there. I guess they could handle it, but I wasn't used to it. I
hated the feeling of someone holding me down and telling me what to do. Yet
constantly, it seemed like it was all Robbie seemed to be doing. Was I
someone who always had to be taken cared of?

We had gotten back to the hotel real late. I remember feeling such mix
emotions. At first I had been having a good, testosterone driven day. Now,
my day had become as dramatic as a fairytale.  I began to see it in my head
that maybe Robbie wasn't the only one that found me attractive. It was a
strange thing. I mean, he wasn't at all. Two other guys found me
attractive. I mean Quarrion seemed to be a real intelligent person, driven
by his philosophies and thoughts. I guess he found me intelligent. The
other was Eric. There was such a limitless attraction I had to him and I
guess since he was naked it was basically physical. His body was sexy, in a
slim and sort of cuddly way, unlike Robbie's body that seemed so good that
it was almost untouchable. Eric's body seemed to be welcoming and warm.



The attraction that these boys had towards me began to feel...free. I felt
like I had nothing but now I had it all. The security that Robbie offered
was being robbed by the insecurity of youth.  Antonio had told me that I
should just let shit slide, calm down and breath like a housewife. I wasn't
a woman and dame sure wasn't a wife. I was as much a man as Robbie,
probably more.  Robbie had told me the city would be mine. They were
carving me I guess. I don't know. I guess it was their way, to change
people. I wanted to take it away now. I sat there sitting on the entrance
of Robbie's balcony. I was alone. The feeling of being alone wasn't
pleasing, but I found myself daydreaming constantly. It was a selfish
dream, all about identity and past history.

I flexed my muscles and looked up at the moon. The stars, everything around
there. This wasn't a night that I wanted to be alone.

<Hello. This is Damien,> I said, <I must be out of my mind to be calling
this late. I know you're probably asleep now...>

I had called Quarrion. The number that was still written on my hand. I
didn't copy it to paper. I figured I would only call him this one
time. Still since I got the voicemail, I figured destiny had taken its path
and that I shouldn't pursue much longer.

<No, I'm here...> I heard the voice picking up.

The deep masculine, sort of jock voice picked up. He seemed too young to be
scanning his phone. Made me wonder why, but I didn't wonder too long. No
matter what secrets he had, mine were probably worse. He talked slow across
the phone, with laziness that suggested either he had just woken up or he
was on his way to sleep.

<I'm sorry to call this late.>

There didn't seem to be much excitement on either of our parts. Maybe it
was because it was so late at night or maybe because it was a phone
call. Either way, we were calm, speaking softly like we had known each
other for years.

<You wanted something?>

His voice was thin, suggestive and yet clandestine. It was a comment that
made you think about your answer before you said anything. I had thought
and thought and yet got no real answer.

<We are strangers. I know that. Everyone is a stranger to me these days,
but I guess I'm just calling because there is something in my brain that
whispers to me to call.>

<A voice?>

He was whispering. He sounded like there was someone else in the room. I
guess it was definitely because we were on the phone. I was
amused. Probably a fuck that he had just laid or maybe his lover. It was
maybe his wife. Who knew? The thing about us was we didn't know each
other. The whole time we talked, we never asked a personal question besides
our names. We knew totally nothing about one another. All we knew was that
we were strangers who liked to read French plays about Revolution.

<To call me crazy wouldn't be unheard of. I guess I'll just be crazy until
I find a good reason not to be. You know what I mean?>

There was an awkward pause.

<Not really--->

I began to think that maybe this had been a bad idea. Quarrion and I were
strangers. Perhaps Antonio was right, I should be more careful who I got
involved with.

<---but I love the way it makes me feel when you say it.> he lightly
finished off, <If you want we can talk now...we can meet.>

I agreed thoroughly. I knew he was telling me the truth. I guess it could
have been Quarrion was so good of a liar that I had no choice but to
believe the things that came out of his mouth. Still I didn't need proof to
know how truthful he was.

There was no substitute for the truth. The realness of the moment.. I
wanted to know him, not sure if it would be romantically or otherwise. It
was almost like I knew this man from another life. Still, I knew quite
certainly that he didn't know me. He had just met me in the shop. There was
no real chemistry besides the little flirting and no real conversation
besides the meaning of literature. I couldn't base my meeting this guy out
of any real reasoning.

If Robbie found out, he could be in every right of mind to leave me
homeless again. I would risk that to meet someone I didn't know? I wasn't
intellectual. I wasn't smart at all. I just felt like doing it. Its better
to live a day near the edge then a life time in the valley. It was just a
feeling I guess.

Nothing can stop the way you feel.