Date: Mon, 17 Feb 2014 04:43:52 -0800 (PST)
From: James Stephens <btmbuck4blkbear@yahoo.com>
Subject: Leo and James - Chapter 20

Chapter 20 -- Things Go Terribly Wrong

Upon returning from our sex filled week in San Francisco Leo and I returned
to our routine of work, TV watching and and bed. But our sex life was
getting less satisfying after what was now 8 years of being a couple. Leo
was having problems getting hard and our attempts at sex resulted in
frustration. It got to the point where all we did was oral and I was being
satisfied with a dildo because Leo knew how much I enjoyed anal sex. Leo
finally agreed to see a doctor about his condition and once we knew what
was wrong things were not the same.  He was severely diabetic and had a
incurable heart condition that required a transplant. At night I would lay
on his chest and listen to his heart beat irregularly, wondering would I
wake up one day and not hear his heart at all. Leo began drinking heavily
and staying out all night gambling. He started smoking again and my plead
for him to live a healthier lifestyle fell on deaf ears. He was giving up
on life and uninterested in things he used to love -- music, sports, and in
general, having fun with friends. Leo was not paying his bills and credit
card companies frequently sent him late notices and his credit and money
disappeared. What I thought was helping, I only hurt him further by paying
his bills and hoping the problems he had would go away as long as I showed
him my love. Nothing was working.

Then one day things went terribly wrong. Lawrence, whom I previously met
years ago had been e-mailing me on a regular basis. We never met after the
day we had sex but he never gave up. He now had a partner himself but would
on occasion write me making small talk. Late at night, Leo came to bed
looking very sternly at me and not saying a word. He lay down without
taking off his clothes and looked blankly at the ceiling, breathing
heavily.  "Is something wrong Leo" I asked, not having the slightest idea
what was going on. He didn't say a word, just kept staring at the ceiling.
Something was seriously wrong. He finally turned to look at me but his cold
stare remained.  "You left your e-mail open." He continued his gaze into my
eyes, penetrating my inner thoughts which were consumed of guilt. I was
trying to figure out what e-mail could cause him to be in this emotional
condition.

"Which e-mail Leo?"

"The one where Lawrence told you how much he loved fucking you." My heart
raced and I got dizzy. I didn't know what to say. "Is that true?" he asked.

My lips were dry and I could barely get out the word "Yes".

"You lied to me James. You fucking lied to me."

"That was along time ago Leo -- I couldn't tell you because I was afraid of
losing you." I was almost faint at this point -- I figured I'd better come
clean at this point.

"Did he come in your ass?" he asked coldly.

Now I was really being tested at how truthful I could be. "Yes he did Leo."

Leo jumped up quickly and was furious. "I called that motherfucker and
asked him did he do it and he said yes. Not only that, I heard his bitch
ass partner say that you didn't use rubbers."  Although not totally true we
did go bareback and I was defenseless. All I could manage was a soft "I'm
sorry Leo."

"You sure are sorry James. I fucking spent the last 8 years with you and
your lies -- no telling what else you have done. I'm through man."  Leo
began to gather some clothes and putting them in his gym bag. I couldn't
believe what was happening -- my deception had caught up with me.

"Leo, please don't leave. I fucked up -- please stay."

"Fuck you James -- I don't care if I die right now -- just regret that I
have trusted your sorry ass. Never again." Months of frustration had built
up and he was now letting loose -- on me. For the next 5 -- 10 minutes Leo
laid into me about my character and how honest he was with me but he could
no longer trust me. I felt so bad but deserved every word.

"Leo, I really wish you'd stay -- you're in no condition to be out right
now, being as mad as you are. I'l sleep on the couch."

"You don't have to worry about me anymore James. I'm gone. Sleep wherever
you want to, and with whomever you want to."

With that, Leo left. I spent the rest of the night crying and looking for
Leo. I ended up falling asleep at around 6 am after giving up trying to
find Leo. I missed work for the next two days, depressed, and worried. I
tried everywhere, called every acquaintance. Finally, early one morning I
heard the door open, fumble around with a few things, then sit on the
couch. I got up and saw Leo sitting there, a blank expression on his face.

"Hey."  I said softly. Leo looked at me, said nothing, then turned around,
continuing to look ahead with a blank stare. "I've been worried Leo."

"I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself." said Leo dryly.

I didn't know what to say or what to do so I stood sheepishly, hoping Leo
would say something to me. He did after a few minutes. "We need to talk
James."

"Anything you say Leo. I'm happy you came home." I sat next to him but
there was a cold feeling between us.

For the next hour or so I got an earful from Leo, sometimes angry,
sometimes calm. But it was an attack on my character that I deserved.  He
was right about everything. I wasn't able to respond -- every time I tried
I was silenced by his look. He was obviously still angry but softened his
words by the time he was done with me. He told me to go to bed, that he
would be sleeping on the couch until he found a place to stay. He was
breaking up with me. I broke down and cried -- having realized how badly I
fucked up and that there was no way out.  I went to bed but could not sleep
that night. I woke up the next day, quietly dressed and went out for a
walk. It was bitterly cold but I didn't care. My whole world was collapsing
around me because of my selfishness and dishonesty. I wished I had a second
chance -- I told myself I had to try. I went back- telling myself to be
totally honest and upfront. I waited until he woke up, about an hour after
I came back.

"Care for breakfast?" I asked.

"Yeh."  said Leo still half asleep. I was encouraged -- he actually spoke
to me without reminding me of my fuck up.

"Great."  is all I could say -- I did not want to push success.

I served Leo breakfast and we ate mostly in silence. It wasn't until I was
doing dishes that I finally broke the silence. Although Leo became angry at
first, he calmed down and actually had kind words for me. I was making some
progress -- after I said what I had to say, I kissed Leo on his forehead,
thanking him for listening. I got no response but wasn't turned away
either. I was now hopeful. We spent the rest of the day making small talk,
slowly warming up to our old selves.

That night I was hoping we could have make-up sex. I was so horny I was
willing to do anything. I sat on the couch smoking weed, Leo sat next to me
and joined me. He got up to go to the kitchen, returning with a beer. We
sat,drank, smoked and watched TV for about an hour when I made my move. I
removed all my clothes standing before Leo, knelt down before him, and
kissed his feet.

"Get up." demanded Leo.  I stood up, afraid that I did the wrong thing.

"You don't deserve me bitch." said Leo. "But I'm going to fuck you because
I'm horny, no other reason. Understood?"

I was dumbfounded. Before I could get a word out Leo stood up quickly,
grabbed me by my throat with his big hands. "You sorry motherfucker." said
Leo, as angry as I've ever seen him. The drugs and alcohol weren't working
in my favor -- or so I thought. I noticed his dick was hard but was about
to pass out from being choked when he let me loose. From there was the
wildest sex I've ever had. I can't say that I enjoyed any of it -- just
that I knew Leo was releasing his anger and at the same time knowing I was
the center of his attention -- that's all I wanted.

Leo grabbed me by the hair and yanked me up so I was at level with his
groin. With one hand he lowered his sweats while he continued pulling my
hair with the other. His dick smelled bad - like he had not washed in days
so I hesitated opening my mouth. Next thing I felt a strong smack on the
side of my head, causing me to lose my senses for a minute but I felt my
head being pulled back up by my hair. This was getting bad -- I was a bit
dizzy from the hard hit to my head but didn't have time to recover before I
felt Leo's hand on my jaw.

"Open your mouth bitch, you're gonna suck me like you did your buddy." I
opened my mouth and realized what was happening -- payback. I went to take
Leo's half hard dick in my mouth when he pulled back. " Is this how you
sucked him -- on your knees bitch?" I remained silent -- not knowing what
to say. Again I felt a hard smack,this time on my face. I fell backward and
lay, partially conscious, in pain. Leo spit on me adding to the
degradation.

"I fucking hate you bitch." said Leo as he pulled up his pants, gathering
his bag.

I put my head down, trying to recover from the smack down while at the same
time trying to respond to his anger. I managed to get some words out. "Leo,
please -- don't leave again."  "What did you say bitch? Don't leave? Why
not bitch?"

"I love you Leo." I said, slowly sitting up. My head was throbbing.

With that I heard another long string of obscenities directed towards me --
calling me everything from a slut to a common whore. I just sat and
listened. I was getting tired of hearing the same thing over and over
again. I finally had to say something.

""Leo I said I'm sorry, I don't know what more can say or do. If you hate
me that much then just go."

Then things got worse. "What the fuck you just say?" He put his bag down
and stood over me. I just shook my head and said nothing knowing it would
make him even angrier. Then I felt a kick to my side. The pain was
excruciating and I screamed out. But he didn't let up.


"So that hurt huh? Not nearly as much as me finding out you giving up ass
to strange niggas. And didn't bother using a rubber -- damn. You going to
suck my dick bitch." Leo said, almost falling over to get to me. He was
very drunk and high. I had never seen him, or anyone else like this. I
wasn't sure how this would end. He yanked me up and put me on my knees
while he lowered his sweats. His dick was fully engorged and I opened my
mouth to receive him. The smell was awful and I gagged but it made no
difference. He pushed the entire length of his dick in with a quick thrust,
forcing me to gag again except this time making me vomit some beer. But he
kept on face fucking me and I did my best to take him but had to struggle
to get away. I didn't want to hurt Leo -- I had done enough to ruin his
life so I tried to get way. I headed toward the bedroom to try and lock
myself in but not quick enough -- just as I was about to slam the door Leo
pushed it open.

"Leo -- stop. You're hurting me badly." I tried to reason with him but he
was completely out of control. I'll never forget the look on his face --
anger, determination and rage. I was truly scared and thought I'd better
give in. Already naked I got in front of Leo and begged his forgiveness and
for him to stop hurting me. His dick was still fully hard. Leo bent down,
took me by the arms, lifted me enough to push me onto the bed where I
landed back first. I watched as Leo completely removed his sweats, seeing
the familiar club like dick fully erect. He raised my legs hard, causing my
chest to hurt again from the earlier kick. Leo was going in without lube or
spit -- I tried to get away but he was too powerful. The pain as Leo forced
his dick in my dry ass was enormous -- I knew there was going to be some
damage. The more I struggled to get loose the worse it got -- Leo's hand
was on my throat as he fucked me, causing me to have breathing difficulty
so I had no choice but to try and pry his arm off of me. Luckily due to our
sweat I was able to get his hand off of my throat and get from underneath
him. But there was no where to go - Leo was between me and the door,
standing, breathing hard.

"Leo -- please stop. I am hurting so bad." I begged him.

"You leave out of here -- you will never see me again. Now there's the
door." Leo stood back and opened the door. As much as I was ready to go due
to the pain, I remembered how badly I wanted to see Leo -- and there he was
-- standing before me, naked with a hard on. I did what I thought was best,
knelt before him and took him into my mouth and sucked. I sucked his dick
like I had never before, had no trouble deep throating him. Leo's moaning
was encouraging -- I wanted him to cum because my ass could take no
more. Within minutes he ejaculated into my mouth -- I was relieved that
this ordeal was about to be over. He pulled out and immediately laid on the
bed -- still breathing very heavily. I didn't know what to do at that point
-- his hatred for me was obvious.

"Mind if I sleep with you Leo?"

"I don't care James -- do what you want."

He was still angry but at least willing to put up with me in the same
bed. After taking a few aspirin I laid next to Leo, being careful not to
touch him. We fell asleep that night, waking up late the next day -- good
thing it was a Saturday.  I heard Leo get up to use the bathroom and
realized how badly I felt -- physically and emotionally. Leo got back and
stood at he side of the bed.

"Damn -- I did that to you?" I wasn't sure what he was talking about -- I
knew I was knocked around pretty good but wasn't aware of any signs of
it. I just knew I could not sit up due to the excruciating pain in my
chest.

"Did what?" I asked innocently.

"You're full of bruises and you got a black eye -- damn."

I tried to sit up but couldn't -- the pain was too great. And my ass was
stinging as well. "Damn I'm hurting Leo."

"Fuck man, I'm really sorry -- no one deserves what I did."

"We were both pretty fucked up Leo. I guess we're even now?" I tired to
infuse some humor in the situation.

No James -- this got out of hand." Leo placed his hand on my chest where
there was apparently a large bruise. I winced with pain. "Let's get you to
a hospital."

"Hospital?  Damn -- its that bad?"

"You have broken ribs James."

"How you know?"I asked before I remembered Leo was an X-ray tech.

Leo gathered some clothes and tried helping me get dressed. When I finally
got up I heard Leo say "Damn -- turn around."

When I turned around I saw blood on the bed." I turned around and Leo
gently bent me over -- nothing like last night.

"Motherfucker -- your ass is tore up. Goddamn James." Leo was in a bit of a
panic -- rushed to the bathroom and brought out washcloths and towels and
began attending to my sore asshole. I could see they were red when he
finished. This was not a good situation -- all I could think is what the
hospital workers would think -- I was badly bruised, had broken ribs and my
ass was bleeding. This was what rape felt like.

After we finally got dressed Leo helped me get into the car where he rushed
me to the hospital where Leo worked. I sat in ER for about an hour when a
doctor came in to examine me. Obviously he was an acquaintance of Leo --
which I was relieved about.

"Well we've got a few things going on James. You have anal fissures which
will require surgery -- and we have to get you in to X-ray your chest looks
like you have a few broken ribs." the doctor went on to explain all that
will go on for the next week or two. I was indeed in bad shape.

Leo and the doctor left out and talked for awhile before I was wheeled into
X-Ray where it was discovered that I had 2 broken ribs and 2 fractures. I
had surgery the next day to repair my anus and spent 3 days in the hospital
-- with almost every minute being with Leo at my side. After weeks of
recovery all was good again. Leo and I never mentioned the events that led
up to the beating, or the beating itself. We were back to the loving couple
but there was still something strange about Leo's behavior -- he was
depressed and not eating well. One night I discovered him doing lines of
cocaine which explained everything -- no sex, mood swings, and Leo staying
out all night. I was losing Leo to drugs -- I blamed myself.