Date: Fri, 4 Apr 2014 18:59:16 -0700 (PDT)
From: James Stephens <buck4darkbear@yahoo.com>
Subject: Leo and James - Chapter 22

Chapter 22: Starting Over

        Before "the fight" I tried talking to several people at bars, all
causing me to lose faith in humanity. The first person, Dave, struck up a
conversation with me which quickly ended when I tried to talk to him about
Leo. After he feigned interest he said for us to go back to his place and
fuck. End of conversation Then there was Sam, who looked around the room
the entire time I was trying to talk to him about losing a loved one. His
cruising eventually led to him getting up in the middle of a sentence to
talk to someone else. Then there was Steve who listened intently and said
he knew just how I felt because he recently lost his great aunt.
        "I'm so sorry James." he said disengenuously, followed by "I'll
meet you in the bathroom so I can suck your dick." I politely refused.
        Finally there was an older queen who wouldn't stop touching my leg
as I tried to talk to him,leanin gover to kiss me. "I'm not here for that."
I said.
        "Well honey, I am so why don't you just give in." as he continued
to touch and grope me.
        "No thanks. I've got to go." I said.
        "What I'm not good enough for you?" he said as he grabbed my arm,
not letting go.
        I warned him to let go but he refused.  The next few minutes were a
blur. I remember pushing the guy off his bar stool and wrestling with the
hunky bouncer before waking up in a strange room, belly down,
cuffed. Shortly after waking up someone came in the room, a large Latino
man covered in tattooes.
        "You up?" he asked, sounding concerned.
        "Yes I am but damn my head hurts."
        "That because Randy knocked you the fuck out after you swung at
him."
        "Fuck, what the hell did I do?"
        "You were out of control man, we had to do something. You ready to
get out of the cuffs?"
        I had never been cuffed and it hurt like hell. "Yes please."
        "My name is Jose" he told me as he removed the metal rings around
my hands.
        "Thanks Jose, and I'm really sorry if I caused problems. Where am
I?"
        "At the bar man. We took you back here and you fought us."
        "Damn. That's fucked up – I'm really sorry."
        "No biggie – but it's time to go home.  Need a cab?"
        "No thanks." Not having a home I didn't know what to say.
        "Man you're not walking home. Not in this condition." Jose helped
me up and put me in front of a mirror – I had a serious black eye
developing. "I'll give you a ride. Where do you stay?"
        I made up a street intersection nearby not wanting to admit I was
homeless.
        "Unless you're living on the streets you got the wrong address."
said Jose.
        My silence told the story. Jose saw the situation I was in. "You're
shitting me. You're homeless man?"
        Before I could get the words out I broke down and started crying
uncontrollably. Jose stood silently by, obviously affected by my state of
mind. "Damn that's fucked up. Well you can't stay here man."
        I got myself together long enough to tell him it was okay, that I
would find a place to go. As I got up to leave Jose took me by the arm and
sat me down. "I can't let you do that man, not like this. If someone kills
your ass I'll be thinking I could have done something.  You're coming home
with me."
        I really didn't want to put him out, nor did I know where he lived
but I was glad to have a place to lay down other than concrete or a hard
cot. "Thanks Jose, I really appreciate it. My name is James."
        "Let's go, they're about to lock up." We left the back room and
walked through the bar where a large Black man was sitting. Jose
stopped. "I think you owe this man an apology. He kept you from getting
arrested. Randy – this is James – I'm taking him home."
        "Take his white ass home then instead of drinking with us. You're
always such a fucking bleeding heart Jose."
        "I'm really sorry man, and thanks." I said extending my hand for a
shake which he refused.
        "Go on home, and stay the fuck away from here." said Randy as he
turned his back to me and continued drinking. Jose led me away out into the
cool air.
        We walked in silence to his car in the alley – a beat up Pontiac
that was very messy. He tossed stuff aside, giving me an indication he
didn't have too many people in his car. We made small talk for the 30
minutes or so it took us to get to his place in Brooklyn. All I could tell
was that he was quiet and reserved. He stayed in projects and I did feel
uncomfortable walking past several shady looking young people on the way to
his apartment – but it was definitely a lot better than where I was
living. His apartment was a mess – clothes laying all over the place,
newspapers and food plates. Obviously he was alone. He knocked the stuff
off the couch making room for me. "If you decide to leave in the middle of
the night just be sure to close and lock the door."
        He was very dry toward me but seeing that I was a homeless stranger
I was truly lucky to have him any way. "I'm thirsty, can I help myself to
water?"
        "Sure, go ahead. I'm off to bed – later dude." said Jose as he
disappeared into his bedroom.
        The cockroaches were everywhere in his kitchen but , once again, I
reminded myself how much better this was. I found a clean glass and downed
a a lot of water before laying on the couch.  I sat up thinking about Jose
and wondering: Was he gay? He sure didn't give any indication, nor could I
find any proof in his place. Why was he being so friendly? Would I be given
the opportunity to stay more than a night? Just then Jose came out of his
room, stripped to his boxers to go to the bathroom. The bathroom door was
left open just enough so that I could stare at him as he brushed his
teeth. He had a beautiful body – chunky but solid, his brown skin
covered in tats, nipples pierced. His close cut haircut and goatee made him
very handsome.  After brushing he took his dick out to pee but it was out
of view. I hadn't had sex in over a year since Leo died but I was beginning
to get the drive back after watching Jose. I got up from the couch to get a
better view.  His dick was enormous, uncut and fat. After a few shakes he
left out of the bathroom before I could get myself settled on the couch. I
was caught and looked guilty.
        "Can't sleep?" asked Jose as he went into the kitchen to fix
himself a meal.
        I had vowed to be totally honest with people since my days of
telling lies to Leo ended up in disaster.
        "Sorry man, I was checking you out." I said.  Jose laughed. "Damn,
at last you honest." He showed no indication of being upset nor interested.
        He continued to fix his meal and went back into the bedroom. The
door would not close all the way so the light and sound from the TV was
noticeable. I watched as he lie on the mattress on the floor while eating
and checking out TV which was on a Spanish station. I debated whether or
not to initiate conversation, eventually getting to his sexual preference.
I decided not to push my luck – within minutes I was asleep on a soft
surface. One day I would properly be able to show my gratitude. Hours later
I awoke to sunshine knowing that I had to leave. Jose was sound asleep,
loudly snoring.  I checked him out through the open door, he slept on top
of his covers on his belly. His ass was gorgeous, round, firm and
definitely protruding. The crack of it was clearly visible through his
boxers that were drawn down. I missed this. I quietly showered (finally hot
water) and dried myself from a washcloth that was left on the floor. His
housekeeping was horrendous – a sign that he was most likely straight. I
got dressed and left out into the sunshine with a new attitude and
hopefully, new acquaintance.