Date: Sun, 29 Mar 2009 01:32:25 -0700 (PDT) From: Kirk Landers <ilj4ever44@yahoo.com> Subject: Luke- part 27 Copyright and Disclaimer: 1. This is a fictional story with fictional characters. 2. No one is to steal this story under any circumstances. 3. This story deals with relationships and not sex, so if you're looking for a story with a lot of sex in it, this isn't the story for you. `THREE'S A CROWD' Ford wakes up to the sound of the shower running. He looks at the clock on his bedside table and sees the time. Six A.M. He buries his head in his pillow trying to fall back to sleep, but he's too awake now. He sits up in his bed as the shower turns off. Pacey walks out of the steamed filled bathroom tying a bath towel around his waist. "You're awake!" Pacey chimes as he crosses across the room to the bed and gives Ford a kiss. "Hope I didn't wake you." "You kind of did." Ford rubs his eyes. "Why are you up so early? "I wanted to get a work-out in before my meeting this morning," Pacey says. "Oh," Ford replies as gets up. "I guess I'll make some coffee." "Go back to bed babe," Pacey insists. "No point," Ford shrugs. "I'm already up." He walks past Pacey, but before he can leave the room, Pacey grabs his hand gently. "You've been a little distant since I came in last night," Pacey points out. "Are we okay?" "We're great," Ford gives Pacey a forced smile. As he walks into the kitchen he thinks about what Benji told him last week in Vegas. He is hard on people. He knows that he doesn't easily forgive, which he always thought was a good trait, but he sees now that it can be a bad thing as well because it's keeping him from being happy with the man he wants to be with. Anger has turned into a third imposing figure into their relationship which is preventing them from moving forward as a couple. Later that day at a more reasonable hour, Shane and Jackson are at the doctor's office getting the results back from some of the tests and scans that they took of Jackson's body to see if he'll ever walk again. "Things are looking really good," Dr. Joan Porter says after running a series of tests on Jackson. "This is the progress we've been hoping to see." "That's great," Shane says holding Jackson's hand as he gives him a gentle kiss on the cheek. "So is that burning sensation you feel just in your right leg?" Dr. Porter asks. "There's a burning sensation in my right leg and then on my lower left leg there's a little tingling feeling," Shane explains. "This is very good," Dr. Porter says. "So I'll walk again?" Jackson squeezes Shane's hand nervously. "Is it too soon to tell?" "Jackson, I know you've been very nervous about this," Dr. Porter gives Shane a sincere and caring smile as she brushes a wisp of blond hair away from her face. "Judging from your tests, I'm completely confident that with the continued medication you're on and increased physical therapy sessions we can have you up and walking soon enough." "I can't believe it." Jackson has a big smile beaming from ear to ear. "This is the best news I've heard in a very long time." "So what's next?" Shane asks. "We start you on daily physical therapy sessions." Dr. Porter writes some notes on Jackson's medical charts. "I spoke with your therapist Pam and she's unable to do daily sessions with you so I'm going to have you see my brother, Vince. He's great." "Sounds like a plan," Jackson replies happily. He's committed to doing whatever it takes for him to get on his feet again. "Everyday?" Shane asks. "That might be difficult for me. I'm on a job hunt right now so I'm not sure what my schedule will be." "That's okay," Dr. Porter replies. "Vince can come to your place if that's all right with you." "That would be great," Shane says gratefully. "Thank you." "No problem," Dr. Porter shakes Shane and Jackson's hands warmly. "So when do I start the physical therapy?" Jackson asks. "We can start you on it today," Dr. Porter answers. "Great!" Jackson replies. He doesn't want to waste a moment. "Good," Dr. Porter smiles. "Well, I'm glad this is turning out so well. I'll call Vince." Shane and Jackson leave Dr. Porter's office and embrace one another tightly in the car happily. "So, I was asked to be in a threesome last night," Benji mentions as he takes a bite of his salad while he's out to lunch with Shane, Ford, and Luke later that day. "Excuse me?" Shane isn't certain that he heard Benji correctly. "I was asked to be in a threesome," Benji repeats. "And how did this come about?" Luke wonders. "Did two guys just approach you and say, `Hey wanna join us?'" "No, it's not like that," Benji dismisses with a chuckle. "They're two friends of mine." "You have gay friends other than us?" Luke asks with mock insult and shock. "I don't hang out with them often cause they have a tendency to annoy me," Benji explains. "So they annoy you yet you're thinking of sleeping with them?" Shane asks. "Who are they?" Ford asks. "You will be so nauseated by the time I'm done telling you about them," Benji braces them. They're names are Marty Stevens and Matty Evens. Benji met them through his work. They are a gay couple that has become regular customers at Benji's store. To show his appreciation for their business, Benji occasionally takes them out for dinner or drinks. Last night was one of those occasions and Benji was a little taken aback when they asked him to join them in bed. He told them he needed to think about it. His first instinct was to say no. As much as he enjoys their business, he can't be around them for too long. They are just too much of a `cutesy' couple for him to be around. They always call each other `sweetheart' or `honey-pie,' which makes Benji nauseous. However, he woke-up this morning worried that if he said no that they guys would in turn say no to any further business with him and his store. "So you're going to sleep with them in order to keep them spending money at your store?" Luke asks trying to stifle a laugh. "Isn't that similar to the `oldest profession in the world?'" "Wait a second," Ford interrupts. "They're a couple?" "Yeah," Benji nods. "So what?" "And they want you to sleep with them?" Ford asks scrunching his face in disgust. "That seems wrong to me. It's like they're allowing each other to cheat." "It's not cheating," Benji says. "They're both there at the same time." "But they're going to be making love to you," Ford points out. "Ford, when sex involves more than two people, it's no longer called `making love.'" Shane laughs as he takes a sip of his drink. "Well, it seems dirty to me," Ford says. "Ford, sex politics are different in the gay world," Luke points out. "So you would participate in a threesome with Derek?" Ford asks. "He already is," Shane says. "It's him, Derek and Nick, remember?" "Oh that's right," Benji adds. "I forgot about that. So does Derek know you think he has the spirit of your old boyfriend inside him?" "No, he doesn't." Luke then gives Shane a little punch to the arm. "And it's nothing like a threesome. Derek and Nick are the same person." "Whatever," Shane shakes his head. He still doesn't believe that Derek could possibly have Nick's spirit inside of him. "Can we focus back on me?" Benji asks. "Well, it sounds to me like if you're going to have a threesome then you're doing it the right way," Luke says. "You're the special guest. You're not a series regular." "I tried having a threesome once," Shane remembers. "It didn't go well." "Why's that?" Benji asks. "I was the only versatile one there," Shane explains. "The other two were strictly bottoms, so I had to top both of them. By the time we were done I felt like I had run a marathon. It was too exhausting." "I've never done one," Luke says. "It just seems too complicated for me. I would feel bad if I spent too much time with one guy and not enough with the other." "I would never do one," states Ford. "None of us are surprised about that," Benji laughs. "I would think you would have loosened up about your sexual morals a bit," Shane says to Ford. "When you were all anti-relationship you had a different guy every night." "Yeah, but I didn't have them at the same time and especially not two men who were in a relationship with each other," Ford replies. "So should I do it?" Benji asks, once again bringing the attention back to him. "I say go for it," Shane encourages. "Have some fun." "Wouldn't this be the first time you've had sex since breaking up with Donovan?" Luke wonders. "Yeah." Benji looks down into his glass of water as he takes a moment to think about his old love. "It's time I get back out there." "Do you really want your first post-breakup sexual encounter to be with two men who annoy you?" Ford asks. "I would strictly be doing it for the experience," clarifies Benji. "I've never done a threesome." "Really?" Shane and Luke asks in surprise. "No," Benji replies. "The closest I ever got was a circle jerk." "Ew," Ford chimes in. After lunch, Shane goes home to find Jackson lying on the floor with a handsome, well-built man hovering above him holding Shane's right leg in his hand as he bends and straightens it. "Hey Shane," Jackson says as he turns his head to face him. "This is Vince." "Nice to meet you," Vince smiles as he sets Jackson's leg down and goes to shake Shane's hand. "Nice to meet you too," Shane answers hesitantly. He wasn't expecting Vince to be so good-looking. He hates to admit it, but a flash of jealousy came over him when he saw him on top of Jackson. "Jackson is doing really well," Vince says. "He still has a lot of muscle in his legs so his recovery should be faster than usual." "That's great," Shane smiles as he gives Jackson a kiss. "So how long have you guys been at it today?" "He came over about two hours ago," Shane answers. "Two hours?" Shane asks curiously. "That's a long time." "Well we want him up on his feet as soon as possible," Vince explains. "But I think we've done enough for today. So I'll see you tomorrow Jackson." Vince goes over to Jackson and helps him into his wheelchair. Shane raises an eyebrow when he sees Vince take Jackson's hand as he helps lift him up. "Thanks Vince," Jackson smiles. "See you later." "Bye," Vince says. He then shakes Shane's hand. "It was nice meeting you." "You too," Shane smiles. After Vince leaves, Shane turns to Jackson. "He seems nice." "Yeah, he's great," Jackson replies. "I like him." "I can see that," Shane nods his head casually. "He's a...good-looking guy too." "I guess so," Jackson shrugs indifferently. "I don't just mean good-looking, he's really handsome," Shane emphasized. "Okay, so he's a good-looking guy. So what?" Jackson asks. "Nothing," Shane covers. "Wait a second," Jackson says as he wheels his wheelchair over to him, "You don't feel threatened, do you?" "What?" Shane gives a laugh, "Don't be crazy." "You are aren't you?!" Jackson laughs as he reaches over to Shane and takes his hand. "That's incredibly cute." "I'm not threatened by him," Shane replies. "I was just pointing out the fact that he's a good-looking guy is all." "Well, in case you are threatened I think you should know that I'm pretty sure he's straight," Jackson points out. "How do you know that?" Shane asks. "He was wearing a Dolce & Gabbana t-shirt. It's practically the gay uniform." "I have the best gaydar in San Diego," Jackson boasts. "I've never been wrong." "Okay," Shane gives Jackson a kiss, feeling better. Meanwhile, Luke is in his condo writing his column for the San Diego Bulletin's website when he gets a call from Derek. "Hey you," Luke smiles as he answers the phone. He always gets that warm feeling in his stomach when he sees Derek's name flash on his cell phone when he calls. He loves that feeling. "What's up?" "Two things. First, I wanted to make sure we're still on for tonight," Derek says. "Yup," Luke replies. "I confirmed our reservations at Ruth's Chris for eight tonight." "Perfect," says Derek. "What's the second thing?" Luke asks. "I have news," Derek replies. "I received a call today from the hospital I was recovering at in Nevada after my accident." "Really?" Luke asks surprised. "What did they want?" "Well, they told me that some member of my family was trying to find me," Derek explains. "Family member?" Luke stops typing on his computer. "I thought you didn't have any family." "I didn't think I did," Derek says. "No one came to visit me at the hospital now suddenly I have relatives looking for me. It's weird, right?" "Very," Luke replies. "So what are you going to do?" "I don't know," Derek says. "I don't really know how I feel about all this." He then pauses to think about it a little more before finally saying, "I just need to think about it more. We can talk about it more later." "Yeah," Luke hesitantly answers. "I'll see you later." After Luke hung up the phone he began to worry about the possibility of Derek leaving California to go back to Nevada. Suddenly a third party has come into their relationship. If he leaves, he'll be losing Nick all over again. In the case of Ford, the third imposing member on his relationship with Pacey was his residual anger. He has been trying his best to get over it, but for some reason he just can't let it go and he doesn't know why. He's done everything he could think of. He took some boxing classes at the gym to try and let it out, but it didn't work. He also tried taking a yoga class, but that didn't work either. He tried writing out a list of reasons why he should let his anger go, but that didn't work. He even tried doing some new-age chants that he learned from Shane's old boyfriend, Rich. However, that also failed to work. Since Ford's work schedule was light due to the newspaper's budget cuts, he has been spending his time with his ongoing house hunt. He's at one now that he thinks has real potential. It's a colonial styled home near Oceanside in a gated community. It was everything Ford could see himself living in. Off-white walls, marble tile in the entryway that leads into a beautiful kitchen with a double oven and granite counter tops. The carpet in the living room and two bedrooms was plush and soft. It was beautiful. "What do you think?" Lynette, Ford's real estate agent, asks after giving him the grand tour of the home. "Oh my God," Ford walks around in awe. "This place is unbelievable." "And you are in a great position right now," Lynette explains. "You have money in a time where the housing market isn't great, which means you can get a great place for an even greater price." "Awesome," Ford smiles happily. Ford is not the type of man to boast about the money he has, but he can't help but feel pride that he has money right now. Especially since his work situation isn't so great right now. "Place is cute," Pacey says as he walks into the home. Ford had told him where to meet him when he meeting was over. "You were supposed to be here a thirty minutes ago," Ford says with a forced smile as he gives Pacey a tense hug. "Meeting ran late," Pacey answers. "Of course it did," Ford shakes his head in annoyance. "You like this place?" Pacey asks. "I love it," Ford answers. "Isn't it beautiful?" "Not bad," Pacey shrugs. "It's a little small, don't you think? How many bedrooms is it?" "Two bedrooms," Ford gives Pacey a little glare. "I don't need a big place." "You sure you want to tie yourself down by buying a home here?" Pacey asks. "Real estate is a great investment." Lynette's face tightens a bit as she tries to resist snapping at Pacey for potentially ruining a sale for her. "I know that," Pacey counters. "I'm just saying that maybe you should just stick to renting for a while. What if you end up moving to Denver?" "What?" Ford asks. Him and Pacey have never discussed the idea of him moving to Denver. "You never thought about it?" Pacey asks. Even though Ford is still mad at him, he still can't deny that there was a charm in the way he asked that question with a little hopeful smirk. "No," Ford replies resisting the charm. "I'm tired of renting. It's just wasted money. I want to own." "You never thought about moving to Denver?" Pacey asks. "Nope," Ford replies. "And why do you assume that I would relocate for you? Why couldn't you move here?" "You know I don't like it here," Pacey dismisses the notion. "So I would have to uproot my entire life for you?" Ford asks. "I would have to give up everything to please you? I either have to move to Denver or we'll never live together? Are those my two options?" "Okay, I get it!" Pacey raises his hands in surrender. "Forget I even brought it up. Go ahead and buy a place." "Thanks for the permission," Ford sarcastically says. Pacey eyes Ford curiously, he's not sure why Ford has been so snappy with him. He thought they had worked out their issues, but apparently not. Meanwhile, Benji is at his store still debating on his threesome with Marty and Matty. It's not so much a question of if he should or shouldn't, it more about if he even wants to. He hates to admit it, but when he has sexual fantasies, he still often thinks about Donovan. It kills him that he's still not completely over him. He figured that after they broke-up he would eventually become the free-spirited, sexually charged man he once was, but he found out that he's changed as he's gotten older. His sexual appetite isn't what it once was. Had this been years ago, he would have jumped at the chance to hop into a threesome, but now he's not sure if he wants to. Before he can think about it any further, his two potential bedroom buddies come into the store holding hands. "Hey Benji!" the two of them say in unison. Benji resists rolling his eyes at how cheesy the two of them are. The two of them even look similar to one another, both of them have blonde hair and blue eyes, they always wear outfits similar to one another, on this day Marty is wearing a lime-green polo shirt with khakis and Matty is wearing a blue polo shirt with khakis. And they both have white sweaters tied around their necks. "Hey guys," Benji replies. "What's up?" "Well, we just got done with our couples massage and decided to stop by and see if you thought any more about our offer," Marty says. "You know...I'm not sure if it's such a good idea," Benji says. "I mean, I don't want to risk ruining our professional relationship with each other." "You won't," Matty replies. "It'll be fine!" "Okay, the truth is, I broke-up with someone recently and I don't know if I'm ready to hop into bed with someone, much less two someones," Benji says with a laugh, trying to keep the conversation light. "Oh honey, we had no idea," Marty says giving Benji a gentle pat on the shoulder. "Break-ups are horrible," Matty adds. "I remember how much those hurt. I'm so glad to have Marty." He gives Marty a loving kiss. "Yeah, so you know what it's like," Benji says. "So I don't know if it's such a good idea." "I actually think it's a perfect idea," Marty says. "Think about it, do you want your ex-boyfriend to sleep with someone first?" "What?" Benji asks. "The break-up rules," Matty continues for Marty, "The one who sleeps with someone else first wins. And think about it, this way, you'll be sleeping with two people at the same time. You'll double-win." Benji thinks that over, he never thought about the idea that Donovan might possibly already be dating someone. He forgot about the break-up rules. What if he's already in a serious relationship? What if Donovan has slept with multiple guys already while he hasn't slept with any? This thought makes Benji more determined to move on. He has to move on and he has to do it now. He can't let Donovan move on first. "You're right," Benji says. "Let's do it!" With those five words, the three of them made plans for tomorrow night. That night, Luke and Derek are at dinner together and discussing the idea of Derek calling the hospital to get in touch with the family member that's looking for him. "Did the hospital say which family member is trying to get a hold of you?" Luke asks. "No," Derek answers. "They just left a message that a family member was trying to get in contact with me. I haven't called to find out more." "Are you going to?" Luke knows it's selfish, but he can't help but hope that Derek doesn't pursue this. He doesn't want risk losing him, losing Nick. "I don't know," Derek shrugs. "You know, they didn't give a damn to see me in the hospital while I was injured and scared, why do they want to see me now?" "How badly do you want to know?" Luke asks. "What would you do in my situation?" Derek is clearly torn over this turn of events. "I-" Luke began, but then he stopped himself. He can't be selfish. He can't give his opinion. "I can't answer that. This is one hundred percent your decision." "Part of me obviously is curious," Derek mentions. "They can tell me who I really am." "What do you mean? You know who you are," Luke points out. "I know my name, but what if I'm completely different from who I was before the accident," Derek says. "This family member can let me know who was and what I was like." "What if you don't like what you find out?" Luke asks. Derek takes a moment to think about that question. "I didn't think about that." "All I'm saying is, really think about this before you make your decision," Luke says. He tried his best to be diplomatic and unbiased on Derek's situation, but he couldn't help throwing in that doubt into his mind. "You know," Derek says after a few brief moments of silence. "I think I do want to know." He nods as he says it, "I feel I have to. I've had so many unanswered questions for so long that I can't let this pass me up." "I see." Luke looks down at the food on his plate, unable to think of anything else to say. "Do you think it's a bad idea?" Derek asks. "I can't say," Luke replies. "I think I need to," Derek nods. "I think I need to go back to Nevada to find out." "So...how long do you think you'll be gone?" Luke asks. "As long as it takes, I guess," Derek shrugs. He then realizes why Luke is asking. "I won't be gone forever. I promise." The two sit silently absorbing everything. They didn't realize that tonight's dinner would turn into their last supper. The next day, Ford is sitting at his table eating breakfast when Pacey comes in and pours himself a cup of coffee before joining Ford at the kitchen table. "Morning," Pacey says giving Ford a kiss. "Hi," Ford quickly replies before opening up the newspaper to read. "So I have two meetings today, but afterwards if it's not too late, do you want to grab dinner?" Pacey asks. "Whatever," Ford replies coolly. "If you're free fine, if not, I'm not surprised." "Okay Ford, I've had about enough of this," Pacey says pissed. "What the hell is wrong with you?" "Nothing," Ford shrugs indifferently. "Bullshit," Pacey retorts. "You've been giving me the cold shoulder the whole time I've been here." "I didn't force you to come here and visit me," Ford shoots back. "Ford, I came here because I wanted to see you. But if I'm just going to get this attitude from you the whole time then I can leave," Pacey threatens. "Do whatever the hell you want!" Ford says angrily. "It's what you're good at anyway!" "What is that supposed to mean?" Pacey asks. "Doesn't matter," Ford snaps. "I'm going to go to work." "Fine, but we need to talk," Pacey says. "Okay, should I make an appointment with you?" Ford asks sarcastically. "What?" Pacey asks. "Pacey, don't act like you came out here just to see me and spend time with me," Ford says. "You came here because you have work to do here and I just happen to be in the same city." Ford gets up and grabs his jacket. "I'm going." "We have to talk tonight," Pacey says. "Fine, but for once you can wait for me to get home," Ford says. "I'll come back tonight when I'm good and ready." Ford storms out of the house, for the first time letting his anger out and he doesn't want to admit it, but it felt good. It was a release that he needed. Over at Shane's place, Jackson is sitting in the kitchen reading the San Diego Bulletin as Shane is making him breakfast. "You sure you don't want to go back to the Bulletin?" Jackson asks as he flips through the paper. "I've already spotted three errors. Terrence is not going so great as the new editor-in-chief." "I want nothing to do with a newspaper," Shane replies. "I want something different, something that challenges me and I'm passionate about." "What are you passionate about?" Jackson asks. "I don't know," Shane says sitting down at the table and handing Jackson a plate of eggs and bacon. "So what are your plans for today?" Jackson asks as he takes a bite of his food. "I'm going to meet with a couple people I know who might know of any job openings that might interest me," Shane replies. "But I won't be gone long. We're still on for cooking dinner tonight, right?" "Yup," Jackson replies. "I printed out the recipes." "That'll be fun," Shane smiles. "Staying in, you and me cooking together." "It will be," Jackson agrees, he leans over and gives Shane a kiss, which is prematurely disrupted by a knock on the door. "That's probably Vince." "I'll get it," Shane says getting up. He then looks at Jackson, "You're sure he's straight?" "Yes," Jackson laughs. "Stop being jealous and answer the door please." "All right," Shane says as he goes to the door. "Hey Shane," Vince smiles as Shane opens the door. "Hi," Shane replies shaking Vince's hand. "How are you?" "I'm great," Vince smiles. "Is Jackson ready?" "He's just eating breakfast now," Shane moves to the side of the door to allow Vince to enter the apartment. "Can I get you something to eat?" "No I'm good," Vince replies. "I actually just came from breakfast with my boyfriend." "Boyfriend?" Shane raises an eyebrow. So much for Jackson's `gaydar,' he thinks as the two walk into the kitchen. "I didn't realize you were gay." Shane makes sure that Jackson hears that statement as he takes a seat next to him. "Yup," Vince nods. "You're gay?" Jackson asks. "Yes I am," Vince says taking a seat at the table. "I would never have guessed," Jackson says. "Imagine that," Shane raises his eyebrow as he glances over at Jackson who gives him an innocent shrug. "Well, I should get going." "Okay. So I'll see you later," Jackson smiles. "I'll see you for dinner tonight," Shane says giving Jackson a kiss. He makes the kiss longer than necessary just in case Vince had any ideas. "Good seeing you Vince." "You too," Vince replies beaming his perfect teeth. Shane then leaves, now feeling more jealous than ever about Vince or `Hot Vince' as he has come to think of him. Luke picks up his phone at his condo an answers, "Hello?" "It's me," Derek replies. "Hey," Luke says. "Did you call the hospital?" "Yeah," Derek answers. "They told me that my sister has been trying to get a hold of me." "Sister? Wow," Luke replies. He then takes a moment to absorb the fact that Derek has a sister. A sister who can take him away forever. "Yeah," Derek replies. "I already talked it out with Terrence and he's going to let me just e-mail him my column while I'm in Nevada." "When are you leaving?" Luke asks. "Tonight," Derek replies. "Why so soon?" Luke asks. "I can't wait," Derek tells him, "The longer I wait the more anxious I get. I have to go tonight." "But-" Luke stops himself. He was just about to blurt everything out and tell Derek that he's Nick, but he forced himself to keep quiet. "I know it's sudden. But I'll only be a call away," Derek says. "Of course," Luke tries sounding positive about the situation. "This is great for you." Luke and Derek talk for another few minutes. Luke tries his best to sound happy for Derek, but he is dying inside. He's losing Nick again... That night, Benji goes to Marty and Matty's place for their threesome. He walks into the bathroom next to their bedroom and looks at himself in the mirror. Can he really do this? He takes a deep breath and decides that he has to do this. He needs to move on and get back in the game. He walks out of the bathroom and looks at Marty and Matty, stripped down in front of him. "You look hot," Matty says as Benji walks up to them. "Damn hot," Marty adds. The two of them slowly unbutton Benji's shirt. He closes his eyes as they remove his clothes and tries to get into it. He then feels both of them kiss his neck. He usually would love the feeling of someone's hot breath on his body, but tonight he's not feeling it. As much as he thought he wanted to do this, he can't deny the fourth imposing person that's keeping him from going forward with it, the fourth person that he really wants to sleep with, Donovan. And while Benji was more than ready to handle a threesome, a foursome is one more than he can handle. Benji politely excuses himself and goes home. As much as he wants to get back out there, he knows now that he has to fully move on from Donovan before he can ever be intimate with someone again. When Shane gets home that evening, he goes into the kitchen to find dinner already made and Jackson waiting for him. "What's this?" Shane asks when he sees a bowl of hot gumbo sitting on the table. "I thought we were going to cook together." "Well you were gone all day so I thought you might be too tired," Jackson says. "But how did you get around the kitchen?" Shane asks. "Vince helped me out," Jackson answers. "You cooked with Vince?" Shane asks, obviously uncomfortable. "He was here all day?" "Shane, he just helped me out. That's all. Nothing else went on," Jackson clarifies. "I didn't suggest anything," Shane defends himself. "But you're thinking it," Jackson says. He reaches for Shane's hand. "We were just cooking." "That was supposed to be our thing tonight," Shane mumbles as he sits at the table. "I'm sorry if you're upset about that," Jackson says. "I honestly was just trying to make things easy for you. I wanted you to come home to a nice, relaxing dinner." "No, I understand," Shane nods, even though he still feels jealous. Jackson gives Shane a kiss. "You have nothing to worry about. Gay or straight, Vince isn't my type. You are." Shane smiles as he gives Jackson a kiss back, "Okay." He still may be jealous, but he knows that he can trust Jackson. Over at Ford's place, when he gets home, Pacey is there waiting for him. The two stand on opposite ends of the living room. They both know they have to face each other and either work out the problems between the two of them or end things. "Ford, you need to talk to me," Pacey says. "I can't read your mind." "I know that," Ford replies as he paces back and forth trying to gather his thoughts. "Do you not want to be with me?" Pacey asks. Ford looks into his eyes and sees a childlike innocence as he asks that question. He's never seen Pacey vulnerable before. It seems as if Pacey is letting him into his heart in a way that he never has before. He's letting himself be raw and exposed. "I do," Ford says honestly. "I do want to be with you." He then tries to find the right words, "...it's just that...I'm angry." "Obviously," Pacey says letting them both laugh a little for the first time in a long while. "I admit it, I don't let things go easily," Ford replies. "I hold on to my anger for a long time and it's a bad habit, I know." "And I know that I gave you reason to be angry," Pacey says. "I am really sorry for sleeping with someone else." "It's not just you sleeping with someone else. I'm actually not that mad about that, because I do understand that you thought we were broken up," Ford replies. "It's more than that." "Then what is it?" Pacey asks taking a step closer to Ford. "I have to know that I'm a priority for you," Ford begins to explain. "If this relationship is going to work, I have to know that it's important to you. I have to know that I'm important to you." "You are," Pacey says taking another step towards him. "You are the most important." "That's the thing," Ford shakes his head, "I know I'm not. Or I don't feel I am at least." He takes a step towards Pacey. "You have this tendency to always put work ahead of us." "Ford, I-" Pacey began, but Ford cut him off. "I know that there are times when you need to work and I understand that," Ford replies. "But you're a workaholic and I can't always be second place. There are times when I need to know that I come first." Pacey took a few more steps until he was standing right in front of Ford. He wrapped his arms around him and nodded, "Okay. I understand." "Do you?" Ford asks making sure. "Yes," Pacey replies. "I will work on that. You're right, I do put work ahead of everything and that needs to stop. I'll try to be better." "Thank you," Ford smiles giving Pacey a kiss. "I will need your help though," Pacey says. "Breaking a twenty year habit of making work my life won't be easy." "I'll keep you in line," Ford smiles. "You know how you could do that?" Pacey asks. "How?" "Move to Denver," Pacey replies. Ford looks at him curiously, not sure if he's being serious. "Ford, I love you and want you to be with me." "Move to Denver?" Ford asks making sure he heard him correctly. "Yes," Pacey replies. "I don't want to be away from you for weeks at a time. I want you to be the last person I see every night and the first person I see every morning. What do you think?" Ford looks into Pacey's eyes and sees how much he wants this. But is this something that he's ready for? Meanwhile, Luke is at Derek's apartment saying goodbye to him before he leaves for Nevada to meet his sister. "So you sure you want to do this?" Luke asks. He wants to tell him to stay, but is doing everything he can to resist that urge. He has to let Derek do what he wants to do. "Yeah," Derek nods. "I have to. I have to find out about myself. I have to find out who I really am." "Do you know how long you're going to be there?" Luke asks. "No," Derek shakes his head. "I'll call you though." "Okay." Luke looks down at his feet, he can't face looking into Derek's eyes, because whenever he looks into them, he sees Nick and he can't face saying bye to Nick again. "Well, be safe." "I will," Derek replies. He then gives Luke a kiss. "I'll miss you." "You better go," Luke says softly, avoiding telling him how much he'll miss him. "You don't want to miss your flight." Derek grabs his suitcase and the two walk out to the parking lot. They embrace one last time, giving each other a kiss before Derek heads to his car. As Luke walks away, he begins to think about Nick and how he vowed to not lose him again once he met Derek. He promised Nick's friends, Kurt and Leo, that he wouldn't lose him. He promised himself. He knows deep down that if he lets Derek go now, he'll also be letting go of Nick. Luke turns around and calls out to Derek. "Wait!" Derek turns around to face Luke. Luke runs over to him and grabs him by the arms. "You say that you want to go to Nevada to find out who you are, but I already know who you are." "Luke-" Derek begins, but Luke cuts him off. "No, I know who you are Derek...I've known who you are since I first met you. You're Nick." "Excuse me?" Derek asks confused. "I know this is hard to believe and it sounds crazy and impossible, but it's true. You're Nick," Luke knows that it's completely crazy to be telling Derek like this, but he feels as if he has no choice. "I don't understand. What are you talking about?" "Derek, a couple days before I met you, I ran into this woman who told me that Nick would find a way back to me," Luke tries to explain. "Nick, you're old boyfriend who died?" Derek asks. "Yes," Luke replies. "She told me that Nick would find a way to be with me. She said that while Nick may be dead, he's still very much alive and then I met you and ever since I met you I knew there was something familiar about you." Luke rubs his hands nervously as he tries his best to explain this in a way that seemed logical and made sense. "Then I found out you got in an accident the same day he died and it all made sense to me." "You think I'm your old boyfriend reincarnated?" Derek asks furrowing his eyebrows trying to make sense of all this. "Yes," Luke replies. "I know it's insane and crazy, but you are. Think about it, you have no prior memory to your life as Derek before the accident. After you recovered you became an advice columnist, the same job Nick had. Then you suddenly move to San Diego where I live and get a job at the same newspaper I work at. Don't you see?" "So let me get this straight," Derek says. "The only reason you've been dating me has nothing to do with me-`Derek', but because you believe that I'm `Nick?'" Luke saw a flash of hurt and anger across Derek's face as he came to this realization. "Derek-" Luke tries to explain again, but Derek doesn't want to here it. "I've heard a lot of fucked up things, but this is the most fucked up," Derek says angrily. "You don't even care about me. You just want me around because I remind you of your old boyfriend. Well that's insane. I'm not your old boyfriend. You obviously has some issues Luke cause you're so unable to move on that you are believing some crazy fantasy that Nick came back from the dead to be with you. Well, I'm sorry Luke, but I'm not him! And the fact that you only want to date me because you think I'm him is just proof that you don't really care about me at all." "No, Derek, that's not what this is," Luke says trying to take Derek's hand, but he brushes him off. "It's a good thing I'm leaving," Derek says as he backs away. "Because obviously I wasn't in a real relationship to begin with." Luke doesn't say anything back. He knows that part of what Derek is saying is true. Truth is, he doesn't know if he would have been with Derek had he not thought that Nick's spirit was in him. Derek gets into his car and drives away leaving Luke alone. A wave of deep depression washes over Luke has he helplessly watches the car drive away. He lost Nick again. ************************************************************************** To Be Continued... With any comments, questions or feedback please e-mail me at ilj4ever44@yahoo.com.