Date: Sat, 4 Apr 2009 09:30:43 -0700 (PDT) From: Kirk Landers <ilj4ever44@yahoo.com> Subject: Luke- 28 Copyright and Disclaimer: 1. This is a fictional story with fictional characters. 2. No one is to steal this story under any circumstances. 3. This story deals with relationships and not sex, so if you're looking for a story with a lot of sex in it, this isn't the story for you. Hope everyone is doing well! We're only a couple chapters away from the final installment! Hope you are enjoying where everything is leading up to! Here's part 28, titled `Passion.' `PASSION' Luke is standing in an empty green field. He's never seen grass so green before or the sky so blue with out a cloud in the sky. The sun casts a warm blanket over his skin. He closes his eyes as he lies down to take in the beauty of this day. At this moment he feels completely at peace. He wishes he could stay like this forever. "Beautiful day, huh?" a deep, voice asks as he hears the footsteps of someone approaching him. Luke opens his eyes and his heart begins to speed up when he sees his old boyfriend, Nick, standing above him. Luke quickly scrambles to his feet and reaches out and takes Nick's hands in his. "Hi," Luke smiles, happier than he's ever been in his life. "You look great." He does, Nick looks better than he ever has before. His light brown hair shines as the sunlight hits it, his tan skin gives an almost radiant glow, and that sparkle in his eyes is brighter than ever. "Thanks," Nick replies. "So what are you doing just laying around here?" "I have nothing better to do," Luke shrugs. "So you just give up?" Nick asks. "I didn't want to give up," Luke replies. "I tried explaining it to Derek, but he wouldn't believe me. Why?" "Luke, that's not what I'm talking about," Nick replies. "I'm asking you why you're giving up?" "What are you talking about?" Luke asks confused. "I already said; I didn't want to give up. He left, I had no choice." "I know he left," Nick replies. "I know that." "Then what are you asking me?" Luke asks. Before he could reply a loud high-pitch ring fills his ears. Luke opens his eyes and realizes that he's not in an empty field, and he's not talking to Nick. He's alone in his bedroom. The morning light is pouring into his bedroom and the high pitch ringing from his cell phone filled the room. "What?" Luke mumbles as he answers his phone. "Get up," Shane says. "We're at the front door." "Go away." Luke mumbles then hangs up the phone. "Open the fucking door!" Benji's booming voice yells through the front door of his condo. Luke slowly gets out of bed and drags his heels as he heads to the entryway to open the door. "Why are you guys here?" Luke yells through the door, as he's halfway to the front door. "We came to bring you back to life," Benji replies. Luke opens the door and Shane, Benji and Ford are all standing in front of him with big smiles on their faces. "So you guys are the cheer-up squad?" Luke asks as the guys walk into his place. Luke walks into the living room and lays down on the couch. "No, no no!" Shane barks at Luke. "You've been asleep long enough. Stand up and go get cleaned up." "Why?" Luke asks. "Because we're going to lunch," Shane replies. "Now move it." "I don't feel like it," Luke replies. "That's been your catchphrase for the past week," Ford points out. "You need to move on. I know you're upset about Derek, but there will be other men." "You guys obviously don't get it," Luke sighs as he grabs a pillow and lays it on top of his head. "We do," Benji says pulling Luke up from the couch. "You thought he was your soulmate or your old boyfriend's soul or something. Point is, you have to move on." "It's only been a week," Luke says. "I'm allowed to be in mourning." "Being in mourning is one thing, but you've been in hiding," Ford says. "We miss you. Now go get cleaned up." "But-" "No!" the guys say in unison, cutting Luke off. "Go get in the shower and I'll pick out your clothes," Benji says. "Geez, thanks mom," Luke says sarcastically. "Less talking, more showering," Ford says. "Where are we going?" Luke asks as they push him into the bathroom to clean up. "Our usual place," Shane replies. "Fine," Luke mumbles as he goes to get ready. An hour later, the guys arrive at the Broken Yolk and sit down at a table together. After they order their food, they all look over at Luke who hasn't said much aside from ordering his food. "Honey, talk to us," Benji says. "We always talk these things out together." "What's the point?" Luke shrugs. "I had him and I lost him. End of story. Nothing I can do about it." "Then move on," Shane says. "Move on to the next stage of your life." "That's the thing," Luke replies. "I don't know what the next stage is." "I hear that," Ford adds. "Do any of us really know what the next stage of our life is?" "You had to go and ask us that, huh?" Shane asks after realizing that he himself doesn't know what's next for him, now that he's out of a job. "That's life though," Benji says. "I think it's exciting not knowing what's next." "I like having a plan," Ford explains. "I like knowing what my next step is." "So you don't know what that next step is?" Benji asks. "No," Ford replies. "And I have to decide soon." "What are you talking about?" Shane asks. "Well...it's kind of the reason why I wanted Luke here today," Ford takes a deep breath. "I got an offer from Pacey that I'm considering." "What?" Benji and Shane ask in unison. "He asked me to move to Denver with him," Ford reveals. All the guys stare at him with their mouths open in shock. "When did he ask you?" Benji asks. "Last week," Ford replies. "But you two haven't been together that long," Shane points out. "Are you sure you two are even ready for that?" "I know it's sudden," Ford says. "But I love him. It feels right with him." "You were pissed off at him last week and this week you're debating moving in with him?" Benji asks. "Honey, are you really considering this?" "And I thought you were going to buy a place here?" Luke asks, the news of Ford moving was more than enough to get him to start talking again. "So it sounds like you guys are against the idea," Ford senses. "It's not that we're against the idea," Luke counters quickly. "It's just that-" "We're against the idea," Benji is unafraid to say. "Sweetie, it's way too soon and you would be moving to another state. This isn't a little move." "I know," Ford nod, he then adds gently, "But I'm not asking for your guys' advice or permission. I'm just letting you know it's something I'm thinking about." "Wow," Shane says. "That's going to be a big change." "Well, I haven't decided yet," Ford says. "So don't start prepping for my departure yet." The guys all went silent, each one of them thinking about the next step for them. After lunch, Shane leaves the guys to go visit and talk to Brenda, while Ford and Benji stay with Luke and go to Benji's store. They plan to take Luke to the beach to relax, but before they can do that, Benji wants to make a few phone calls to New York to send some more clothes to Donna Vanderbilt. Donna Vanderbilt, is a New York socialite who spends tons of money on clothes at Benji's store. She first just bought stuff from his New York locations, but when Benji's San Diego store was losing money he got a hold of her assistant and she was perfectly fine with having stuff shipped from the San Diego store to New York. He's been sending her stuff every week from San Diego and he's amazed that she never returns anything. A couple strange things about the situation is that Mrs. Vanderbilt only buys men's clothes, Benji assumes it's for her husband and he's never actually spoken with her, he only talks to her assistant, Jenny, who happily accepts the charges for the purchases. In only a few weeks since he started sending stuff to New York, he's made an additional ten-thousand dollars from her purchases alone. "I'll be right back guys," Benji says as they walk through his store. "I just need to make a call to Mrs. Vanderbilt's assistant." Benji heads into his office while Luke and Ford look around the store. When he gets into his office he gets Mrs. Vanderbilt's number and places a phone call to her. "Hello?" her assistant, Jenny answers. "Hey Jenny, it's Benji." "Hi Benji. What can I do for you?" Jenny asks. "I just got some new men's clothes in that I was wondering if Mrs. Vanderbilt would be interested in," Benji says. He's about to explain what the clothes look like, but Jenny cuts him off before he can say any more. "Perfect. Send them over and charge it to her account," Jenny says. "Just like that?" Benji asks. "I haven't even told you what kind of clothes or how many items I'm sending." "I'm sure they'll be great," Jenny says. "Just send them over." "Are you sure?" Benji asks. "It's a lot of clothes." "That's fine," Jenny assures him. "Great, that's amazing." Benji can't believe how easy it is to sell this woman stuff. He's so grateful that she is willing to spend so much money. He then gets an idea, "Jenny, can I ask you a favor?" "Sure," Jenny says. "Do you think that I can arrange to take Mrs. Vanderbilt out for lunch? I'm thinking of making a weekend trip to New York and would love to take her out to show my appreciation for her business," Benji says. "I'll have to check with her first," Jenny says. "Can I call you back later?" Yeah, that's fine," Benji replies. "Thanks Jenny." "No problem. Talk to you later," Jenny says before hanging up. Benji goes back out to the store where Ford is looking at himself in the mirror as he tries on a jacket. Luke meanwhile, is sitting on a sofa in the center of the store still looking down and depressed. "What do you think of this jacket?" Ford asks. "It looks good on you," Benji says as he looks over the dark green blazer with blue pinstripes that Ford has on. "It would look good with that mustard color button-up that you have." "I think I'll get it," Ford says. "Do you see anything Luke?" "Nope," Luke sighs. "Okay, enough," Benji says. "You need to get over this because you are driving us crazy." "I'm sorry. I just thought that things would last between Derek and me," Luke says. "Maybe they will," Ford replies optimistically. "Maybe he'll come back." "He's not going to," Luke shakes his head. "And I don't blame him. I sounded like a crazy person when I was telling him about Nick." "You had to," Ford says. "You thought you would lose him." "And I did anyway," Luke says. "I just wish I never told him at all. Loraine told me not to." "Loraine?" Benji asks. "The psychic who told me that Nick was going to come back to me," Luke explains. "She said that he wouldn't believe me." Benji is quiet for a bit, before he gets an idea that will hopefully cheer Luke up a bit, "Let's go see her." "The psychic?" Ford asks. "Yeah, why not?" Benji asks. "Maybe she can help Luke out." "Do you want to?" Ford asks, looking at Luke. Luke thinks it over for a bit before nodding his head, "Let's do it." Meanwhile, Shane is at Brenda's house trying desperately to see his son again. Since Brenda found out that he lost Wyatt at Sea World, she no longer trusts him alone with their son. The two are sitting tense and uncomfortable on the sofa in her living room as he pleads his case to her. "Brenda, I know I screwed up. I dropped the ball and didn't take care of Wyatt the way I should have," Shane says. "But it was a really stressful time for me. I was exhausted and tired and I know it's not a good excuse, but it just happened." "Do you realize what could have happened to him?" Brenda asks. "He could have gotten kidnapped or worse." Brenda truly doesn't mean to be difficult or cruel, but she's protective of her son and is worried about what could happen again. "I know." Shane looks down at the floor in shame. He knows very well what could have happened and he thanks his lucky stars every day that nothing bad happened to Wyatt. "Brenda, I need Wyatt in my life." "I don't trust you with him," Brenda says. "Brenda, it only happened once," Shane pleads. "It only takes one time," Brenda says. "Please," Shane says. "I'm sorry Brenda. I don't know what else I can say." "I'm not saying you can never see him," Brenda says. "You can visit him and spend time with him here. I'm just not comfortable letting you have him for weekends anymore." "When can I see him?" Shane asks. "I pick him up from school in a couple hours," Brenda replies. "Can I go with you?" Shane asks. "Fine," Brenda agrees. Twenty minutes later, the guys arrive at Loraine's shop. Ford and Benji look at it questionably at the exterior of the rundown shop. The sign simply reads `Psychic Connection' and the paint on the sign looks faded and worn down. "This is the impressive psychic's shop?" Benji asks skeptically. "She knows things," Luke responds. "Come on." The three of them walk inside where Loraine is sitting at a small wooden table in the center of the room. "Hello Luke," Loraine smiles warmly. "You brought friends." "Yeah," Luke says as he approaches the table. "These are my friends Benji and Ford." "You work in fashion," Loraine says pointing to Benji. "Wow," Ford says in amazement. "Lucky guess," Benji says unconvinced. "She probably just took one look at my clothes and assumed." "I also see a trip back east for you," Loraine adds. Luke and Ford both look over at Benji who now has a look of awe on his face. "Okay, I believe you," Benji says. "Sit down," Loraine gestures to the empty chairs at the table. The three guys sit down in front of her. "So you have questions." "Yes," Luke replies. "I told Derek about Nick." "And he left you," Loraine says. "Yeah," Luke replies. "We want to know if he'll come back to Luke," Ford says. "We'll get to that in a minute," Loraine says. "Right now, I want to focus on you." She looks intently at Ford, locking eyes with him. "Me?" Ford asks. "That's okay. We're here for Luke." "And we'll get to him. I'll tell him what he needs to hear," Loraine replies. "But I want to focus on you." "Why?" Ford asks. "You are distressed," Loraine senses. "You are faced with a big decision, correct?" "This is freaky," Benji whispers into Luke's ear. "I told you she's good," Luke boasts. "I do have a big decision I need to make," Ford confirmed to Loraine, "I have to decide between moving to Denver with my boyfriend or stay here. I don't know what to do." "Yes you do," Loraine says. "If you just look deep down, you know what you want to do." "Do I?" Ford asks, more to himself than to anyone else. "You do," Loraine smiles. "I know you do." Ford grew quiet to think about this decision and figure out what his heart is telling him to do. "Okay. Me next!" Benji says enthusiastically. "Something is going to change on your trip back east," Loraine says. "What does that mean?" Benji asks interested. "You'll see," Loraine smiles. "Will it be a good change? Bad change?" Benji asks. Loraine doesn't reply, she just smiles cryptically at him. She finally looks at Luke who is staring back at her anxiously, hoping she has answers that he needs. "Now Luke..." "Yes?" Luke asks. "There's nothing more I can tell you," Loraine replies. "I've said all I can say, the rest will work itself out." "But-" Luke began to say. "No," Loraine interrupts him. "You did everything you could to bring Nick back, the rest is up to Derek. He needs to figure himself out and find himself without you." "So that's it? I lost him," Luke asks. "You told me that Nick came back for me and it's over, just like that? He's going to be off somewhere without me?" "I can't say," Loraine replies. "What I can tell you is that since Derek came into your life, you've lost yourself. You put all your energy into him and forgotten about your life. I suggest that you now focus on yourself. The rest will work itself out." "That's it?" Benji asks. "That's all you're going to tell him?" "Yes," Loraine nods. "But you said you would help him," Ford objects. "No," Loraine corrects him. "I said that I would tell Luke what he needs to hear, and I did." Later that day, Shane is with Brenda as she picks Wyatt up from school. They arrive at his school a few minutes early before the kids get out so they sit in the parking lot and wait. "Are we just going to sit here in silence?" Shane asks after a few minutes of sitting in the car without either one saying a word to each other. "What do you want to talk about?" Brenda asks a little annoyed. "How will my visits with Wyatt be from now on?" Shane asks. "You can come to the house whenever you want and hang out with him," Brenda replies. "I'm not trying to be a bitch, Shane. I'm not saying you can't be a part of his life. I just don't want him staying with you anymore." Shane shook his head in frustration. He wishes so badly he could change that whole incident when he lost Brenda's trust with their son. But he realizes that this is something he has to slowly earn back and he's willing to do anything to get that trust again. "Here they come," Brenda gestured to the kids that are rushing out of the school building. After a few moments, they both see Wyatt walking to the car. When he see's Shane, he begins to sprint to the car and scream, "Daddy!" "Hey partner!" Shane says getting out of the car and scooping Wyatt up into a big hug. "I missed you!" Wyatt enthuses. "I missed you so much," Shane replies hugging him tightly. Brenda observes the two of them and even though she's angry with Shane, she can't help but smile at seeing the two of them together. This was by no means the way she thought she would have a family, but for better or for worse, her Shane and Wyatt are a family. "Come on guys," Brenda calls out to them. "Let's go home so I can cook dinner." After Luke, Benji and Ford left Loraine's shop, they went back to Benji's house and ordered pizza for dinner. As they head into the living room, Benji's cell phone begins to ring. "Hello?" Benji answers. "It's Jenny." "Hey Jenny! What's up?" Benji asks. "I just spoke with Mrs. Vanderbilt and she would love to meet you," Jenny replies. "Perfect," Benji says. "I'll call you tomorrow after I arrange my travel plans." "Sounds great," Jenny says. "We'll see you soon." "Can't wait. Thanks Jenny," Benji replies before hanging up. "Who was that?" Ford asks as they sit down on the sofa. "That was Mrs. Vanderbilt's assistant," Benji says. "I'm going to be able to meet her when I go back east." "What do you think the big change is going to be when you go there?" Ford asks. "I don't know," Benji shrugs. "Maybe she'll like me and leave me a large part of her estate in her will." Benji daydreams momentarily about how nice it would be to have millions of dollars like Mrs. Vanderbilt. Ford gives a chuckle before looking over at Luke who is quietly sitting and looking deep in thought. "You okay Luke?" "Just confused," Luke replies. "Why wouldn't Loraine give me an answer?" "Luke, you're starting to depend on a psychic to tell you how to navigate your life," Benji replies. "I think it's good that she didn't tell you. You put all your eggs into one basket." "How do I do that?" Luke asks. "It's like Loraine said, you put all your energy into Derek and now you're putting all of it into finding out if you'll ever see him again," Benji says. "You have to have a balance in your life. Loraine is right, focus on yourself right now. You've given up on yourself and have consumed yourself with Derek ever since you met him." "I did?" Luke asks. "Yes. You gave up on yourself," Benji repeats. "You've stopped working on what your life and have focused it all on some far-fetched hope that Derek will suddenly remember all of Nick's memories and you two will live happily ever after. It's crazy." Luke thinks about Benji's words, has he given up? After a couple moments, he suddenly realizes what Nick was talking about in his dream, "Oh my God. That's what he meant?" he mumbled under his breath. "What?" Benji asks. "You're right," Luke replies. "I have completely lost focus of myself." "Just think about you for a while," Benji says. "Are you happy with yourself? Do you still like your job?" "I still enjoy it," Luke hesitantly replies. "Yeah?" Benji asks. "Well...kind of," Luke replies. Benji then lectures, "There's more to life than a relationship. There's work, there's your family, your hobbies, all that stuff." "You're right," Luke nods. "You're absolutely right." "So let's start with your job," Benji says. "Do you still enjoy it?" "I do," Luke nods. "I still like writing. It's just what I write about is the problem. I never really had a clear passion like the rest of you," Luke points out, "Ford, you have your love for fine food and wine. Benji, you have clothes. Shane loves the arts. None of my columns or blogs ever had a clear theme. They all revolved around things that interested me at the moment. I don't have a passion." "Yes you do," Ford says. He then tries to think of Luke's interest. "You really like...Huh. I guess you have a point." "Isn't that pathetic?" Luke asks. "I'm thirty-six and don't have any real passion. This is something I should have discovered when I was in my early-twenties, not when I'm four years away from turning forty." "Then there isn't a moment to lose," Benji smiles. "Now is the perfect time to reflect on yourself and what you're happy doing." Ford brings up, "You know what I think?" The guys look at him, anxious for him to reply. "It's not just Luke who needs to sort this stuff out. We all need to discover what we want in every aspect of our lives." Luke and Benji both nod their heads in agreement. Luke thinks that over, and begins to ponder all the possibilities of what he is truly passionate about. Ford meanwhile, thinks about the idea of moving to Denver with Pacey. And Benji thinks about his upcoming trip to New York, and even though he tells himself that he's over Donovan, he can't help but think of the idea of visiting him while he's in Manhattan. That night, Shane is eating dinner with Brenda and Wyatt and is having the best time being with his son. He missed being around his son so much. Brenda notices this as well and she can't help but enjoy watching the two interact with one another. Shane is so good with Wyatt, he's loving, he's funny, but he's also strict and doesn't let Wyatt get away with anything. He's the ideal father and even though he's not on Brenda's good side right now, she knows his heart is at least in the right place. After dinner, Shane helps Wyatt get ready for bed and reads him a story while Brenda cleans up. After Wyatt's asleep, Shane goes back into the kitchen to join Brenda and talk with her. "Thanks again for letting me stay for dinner," Shane says helping Brenda clean. "You're welcome," Brenda replies. "I really miss him," Shane sighs. "Shane," Brenda began. "You can still see him. I just don't want him staying nights at your place." Shane takes a deep breath feeling defeated, but then Brenda adds, "Not yet at least." "So you're saying that I can earn those overnight visits back?" Shane asks. "You really have to prove that you are responsible," Brenda points out. "I will," Shane promises giving Brenda a big hug. "I'll show you that you can trust me with him." "Don't get too excited," Brenda says. "Those overnight visits aren't happening again yet." "I understand," Shane nods. He knows it'll take time, but he's just glad that Brenda has opened up to giving him those visits back. When Shane gets home that night, he finds Jackson sitting in the living room of his sofa anxiously waiting for him. "Sorry I'm late," Shane says as he rushes over to Jackson and gives him a kiss. "I was with Wyatt and Brenda." "That's okay," Jackson replies with a smile. "Nothing can bring my mood down today." "Oh yeah? Why's that?" Shane asks as he sits down next to Jackson and holds his hand lovingly. "Was physical therapy good?" "It was great," Jackson looks into Shane's eyes and for the first time in a long time there's a sparkle in his eyes that hasn't been seen since before the accident. "How's Vince?" Shane can't help but ask with a little bit of distain. It's not that he doesn't like Vince, he just feel inferior to him for reasons he can't explain. "You say his name like he's some infectious disease," Jackson laughs giving Shane a little nudge in the ribs. "But be nice, because you are going to love him after I tell you about today." "Okay, so tell me." Shane turns to Jackson to give him his undivided attention. "Well, it's not really something to tell you, it's more something to show you." Jackson looks down at his legs. Shane follows his gaze and isn't too sure what Jackson is trying to show him, but after a few silent moments Shane's eyes grow wide in disbelief as he sees Jackson wiggle his left toes. "Oh...my...God." Shane can't believe what he's seeing. Jackson is able to move his toes on his own. "Can you believe it?!" Jackson is now glowing with delight upon showing Shane what he can do now. "It's coming back!" "I'm so proud of you!" Shane wraps his arms tightly around Jackson. "This is amazing." "So you can't hate Vince anymore," Jackson says. "It's because of his help that I can do this." "You're right. I love the guy now," Shane jokes as he gives Jackson a kiss. "I love you so much." "I love you too," Jackson kisses him back. Meanwhile, Ford is still with Benji. The two are sitting together watching, Roman Holiday (Ford's choice). The movie is at the end Audrey Hepburn has finished giving her speech to the press and subtly including a message to Gregory Peck of love and gratitude. She then leaves and the press disperses. Gregory Peck is left alone in the grand hall, thinking about her and their love. As he is leaving the news conference, he stops and turns back to check if Audrey Hepburn has returned, but she hasn't, she's left. He then turns around and leaves with only the memory of their time together. "That ending gets me every time," Ford sighs romantically. "Really?" Benji asks. "Yeah! Don't you think it's sad?" Ford asks. "You expect her to run out after him, and you wait anxiously and hope that she will." "You'll always be a romantic, huh?" Benji laughs. "It's such a sad ending," Ford says. "Imagine not being able to be with the one you love." Benji doesn't say anything, he sits quietly and thinks about Donovan. He knows very well what it's like to love someone you can't be with. He has to remind himself occasionally that they broke-up because they both want different things in life. "So...I've had time to think," Ford brings up. "I made my decision." "You're moving," Benji already knows. "I had a feeling." "I know it's a big change, but I love Pacey," Ford nods. "Then you should be with him," Benji encourages him. "But it's going to be weird without having you guys near." Ford hates the idea of leaving his best friends. "We're not going anywhere," Benji smiles. "Besides, I'm sure you'll come out to visit all the time." "That's true," Ford nods. "Perks of having a rich boyfriend who has his own plane." "Lucky bitch," Benji jokes. "Do you think it's a good idea?" Ford wonders. Benji gives Ford a sincere smile and rubs Ford's arm lightly, "I think it's a great idea." Ford feels better knowing that his best friend agrees that it's the right decision, "And you'll come visit me?" "Well, up to this point I never had a good reason to go to Denver," Benji says. "Now I do." The two hug tightly. Ford then asks, "So what about you?" "What about me?" "We were talking about being satisfied with every aspect of our lives," Ford reminds him. "Are you?" Benji shrugs his shoulders, "I guess so. I saved my store from this economy, I have my health, I have you guys-" "And you're love life?" Ford asks. "What about it?" Benji asks. "I tried it once and it didn't work out." "You really never want to get married?" Ford asks, bringing up the reason why him and Donovan broke-up in the first place. Benji gives Ford a deadpan look, "Me? Seriously?" "I guess you have a point," Ford nods. "But to not be able to be with someone you love." "You're not going to try to give me advice based on an old Audrey Hepburn film, are you?" Benji asks. "But to not be able to be with the one you love based on something like marriage," Ford mentions. "Marriage is a big thing," Benji brings up. "It's just a piece of paper," Ford simplifies it. Benji shakes his head, "It's not. It's a big deal. I am not the marriage-type. I'm a free-loving, hard-to-stay-monogamous-type of guy." "That's you from years ago," Ford points out. "You haven't slept with anyone since you broke-up with Donovan. You couldn't even do a no-strings-attached threesome. You were completely and totally devoted to Donovan." Benji stays quiet as he thinks about what Ford is saying to him. "You have some idea in your head that you need to stay the promiscuous person you were when you were in your twenties. You're not that person anymore," Ford points out. "That's who I am," Benji counters. "It's who you were," Ford corrects him. "You've grown and matured. Trying to stay that person you were will only make you lonely." "I've built myself around that identity," Benji says. "Who am I without it?" "Let me give you the same advice you gave Luke," Ford begins. "Focus on yourself. What is it that you really want?" That night, Luke has a dream, the same as the night before. He is in that beautiful green field. He is sitting up on the grass and looking at the beautiful greenery all around him and the bright blue sky and the sun shining down on him. Nick appears and sits down next to him and takes Luke's hand. "Derek might not ever come back, huh?" Luke asks. "I don't know," Nick replies. "But that doesn't mean that I'm still not here." "That is you inside of him, right?" Luke asks. "It was too much to be coincidence." "You don't need to ask me for my assurance," Nick replies. "You already know, but just because he might not come back doesn't mean that you get to just give up." "I know that," Luke nods his head. "I understand what you mean now. I gave up on myself." "You have too much potential to give up," Nick replies. "You're a smart guy, don't let that all go to waste." "I won't," Luke replies. "I just wish I had something I was passionate about...besides you." Nick lets out a little laugh, "Well you'll discover what it is you want to do." "Do you know?" Luke asks. "I do," Nick replies, he then smirks, "Some inside information that I got from up above." "Oh?" Luke laughs. "So what is it?" "You're passion is what brought you down to San Diego in the first place," Nick says. He then gets up. "I should get going. I shouldn't say anything more." "Wait," Luke says getting up from the grass, "How are you here right now? If you're in Derek's body, how are you here too?" Nick flashes his beautiful smile that melted Luke's heart every time he used to see it when Nick was alive, "I could give you the technical explanation, but I don't think you'll understand. So I'll give you the simple version. I can be here now because nothing will ever keep me from being in your heart." Luke takes Nick's hand and holds it tightly, "Thank you for coming." "Of course," Nick replies. "I'll always be here whenever you need me. So don't worry about that anymore, focus on you." "Okay," Luke nods. The two lean in and tenderly kiss each other. When Luke wakes up the next morning, he feels better...much better. He knows that it's time to focus on himself and get his life back on track. ************************************************************************** To Be Continued... With any comments, questions, or feedback please e-mail me at ilj4ever44@yahoo.com. Take care!