Date: Tue, 29 Jan 2002 16:19:54 -0800 (PST)
From: Bob Archman <bldhrymn@yahoo.com>
Subject: Catfish & Company

Catfish & Company

By Bald Hairy Man

Email, bldhrymn@yahoo.com or bldhrymn@aol.com

This is an adult story for adults. It is not intended for minors, nor for
persons who are offended by alternate life styles. Some of the characters
are escapees from Millennium Construction Company.  No effort is made to
use safe sexual practices. It's intended to be fun, not a sex manual.


The new Police Chief was able to destroy the department in a remarkably
short period of time.  The last election in Richmond had unusually low
turnout and the new Mayor and Council were dominated by born-agains, whose
primary interests were in the moral purity of the city. They were worried
about homosexuality, abortion and Christian education. They fired the
Police Chief who had overseen the reduction of the crime rate by 30% and
replaced him with Randall Q.  Odinmeyer.

Odinmeyer had no interest in the ability of the Policemen or women to catch
criminals, or deal with crime. He felt sexual and alcohol abstinence and
strict monogamy was the prerequisite of serving in the police. Six months
later twenty percent of the force was gone. There were several open witch
hunts, one of which resulted in the suicide of the Chief of Detectives and
soon the department was ruined.

The effect on the crime rate took several years to determine, but Odinmeyer
had the support of the Mayor and the ultra-reactionary newspapers. The
general public was unaware of what was going on, for a while at least.

I got out of the force after the Chief's right hand man asked me why I
wasn't married or seeing a girl. I saw the writing on the wall. I have a
lawyer friend who told me I could sue their asses, but I didn't want to do
that. I'm no virgin and I've been with a lot of guys. Some are out and some
aren't. I couldn't expose or embarrass any of them, plus I like being a
policeman. If I sued I might never get another job, or might always be
"that gay cop."

I'm Wildridge Noland. Everyone calls me "Catfish". I found myself 45 years
old, with medals and commendations galore from the police force and
unemployed. I was drowning my sorrows in the ass of my best friend, John,
when he came up with an idea. John's a building contractor, a good one and
he's made lots of money.  For some reason, he really took a shine to me.

I actually know why he likes me. I'm a spectacularly unimpressive looking
hair ball with a cock three sizes bigger than my body. The first time I
shoved it up his ass, John seemed to glow. I liked it okay. I always like
to be appreciated, but the second time, he glowed again and I began to have
a warm and fuzzy feeling.  The third time, John and I were on the same
wavelength. It was a perfect fit. His ass and my cock were made to fuck.

You might think that nine inches of cock in a quivering ass hole is a
slender connection on which to base a friendship. You would be wrong. First
of all, there is nothing slender about my cock.  Secondly, it seems we got
to like each other, starting with the cocks and moving outwards. We aren't
married and we aren't lovers. We are friends who like each other a lot and
really like to fuck.

I'm not the kind of guy who spills out his guts and tells everyone his
problems. I figure it's my problem and I'll figure a way out of it. John
likes to be slow fucked and I like that too. I discovered I tend to be a
bit more personal when I'm deep in a guy's ass. Talking takes my mind off
the fucking and I can go longer before I shoot. You can't be standoffish
when you're talking and rubbing a man's prostate with your cock.

"I don't know what in hell to do." I said. "I guess I could move to a new
town, but I've got lots of friends here. I don't know if want to start
again from zero."

"What about the suburban police forces. They need people, don't they?" John
asked. He squeezed his ass and it felt great.

"I'm not made to be a traffic cop. I want to catch bad guys, not
speeders. That's the problem with the State Troopers too." I gave him a
good thrust. I was stroking his cock. I had been thinking of putting some
lube on it, but as I thrust, he oozed enough precum to slick it up.

"I can see your point." John agreed with me. "What about becoming a private
dick?" I burst out laughing. He looked puzzled and realized what he had
said. We both laughed. I pulled out far enough so only the head was in his
ass. Then, I thrust deep. As soon as my pubic hair touched his ass, he
clamped tight. I slowly pulled out again. By the time I was out, he had
pulled my foreskin over the head again. I've got a lot of skin.

"Why don't you run a security service?" he asked. "There must be lots of
people and organizations looking for extra protection, especially with this
ass hole in charge of the police." I popped through the hole and John's
sphincter peeled my skin back. I loved that. It felt great, so I repeated
it again.

"I can't see myself looking at I.D.s at the gate of an apartment complex."
I said. I loved it when my cock was in to the hilt. John liked it when I
was poking half way with the head giving his prostate a bath in my
precum. I always took care of him, unless I shot off too early.

"There must be a lot of people who need more than that. It would be good to
have an undercover man in addition to the uniformed man out front. I know
the downtown theaters want real protection for their patrons. So do the big
civic organizations." John added. I stopped my deep thrusting and massaged
his prostate. John stopped talking. He couldn't think when I did that.
When I said I liked deep thrusting it didn't mean I didn't like what John
liked. It felt good, but wasn't the sort of good that makes you shoot.

John was really enjoying it and I toyed with the idea of pushing him over
the edge. I decided to talk more, so I shoved my cock deep and John relaxed
some. "Do you think there's a market for that?" I asked.

"You have a great record for catching petty crime, purse snatchers,
muggers. They are the people who terrorize the patrons to the theaters, or
the ballet. The uniform men at the door help, but the problem is at the
parking decks and lots." John said. "I know all those people. I could get
you in touch with them."


"That might work." I said. "I would love to do the special jobs. I'm not
sure I'm the kind of guy who inspires confidence. I can do it, but I don't
look like the kind of guy who can do it."

"What is Butch doing?" John asked. Butch had been my partner on the force
and looked like a recruiting poster for the Marines. "Is he available?"

"He's in the same fucking boat I am in. There are several other guys who
might be interested in this too, Roosevelt Jones, Freddy Williams, and
Virgil Goodhue.  They're all good men." I said.  John got me thinking. We
were all good men, top notch police officers with a taste for man meat.
John's idea made some sense. It wouldn't be easy, but it might work. While
I was thinking things over my cock made up its mind and I shot off.

One of the nice things about orgasms is they're always good. You don't
build up a tolerance for them like antibiotics, an orgasm is an
orgasm. That being said, I had a top of the line, deluxe, A-number One
orgasm. It caught me off guard. I drained my balls into his ass and I came
damn near shooting a couple of internal organs through my cock into his
love tunnel too.

I'm not a very lovie-dovie guy either, but John and I had some no fooling
kissing and hugging time. When I came to my senses I was about to apologize
for not getting him off when I realized we were damn near cemented together
with his cum. He had shot off while we were kissing. We took a shower and
washed it off. Dried cum is a bitch to get out of body hair. We sat down to
have a drink. John brought the subject of my future again.

"If you don't mind, Catfish, I'm going to call some people up and see what
the market is for a new security company." John said. "You talk to Butch
and see what he thinks." John was still leaking a bit from our play time
earlier. I licked his cock for a while before we went to bed. I had been
feeling down when I dropped in earlier that night. I was feeling real good
by the time I fell asleep.

John is a smart man and a good judge of character. That's true even though
we are friends. I know I wasn't equipped to be the front man. Butch
was. Butch was good looking, muscular and well spoken. He inspired
confidence. We are best friends. Butch immediately liked John's scheme and
expanded it. Most of the security operations in town were staffed by
minimally paid men and women, whose primary function was to call the police
when something happened.

Catfish & Company provided special services for when one of their clients
had trouble. There could be a rapist in a shopping center lot, or a purse
snatcher attacking theater patrons. We would work for the security and do
some real policing when they had big problems.  We knew the men left at the
city Police force and knew that some real policing would be needed.

John picked the name, Catfish & Company. He wanted to make sure we didn't
sound like a security company. We might be a seafood place, or a sporting
goods store. Most of the time we were low profile, pretending to be working
for the security company. I have no great respect for the cop-for-hire
companies, but I was wrong about that. Most, sincerely wanted to protect
their clients and most of the old guys who worked as night watchmen were
sincere.  They just couldn't stay awake all the time and weren't strong
enough to do battle with a drugged up perp.

The new Mayor and Police Chief provided our first clients. Because of the
loss of personnel in the police department, the Mayor announced that
patrols in the restaurant and residential areas would be reduced after 9:00
at night. He volunteered that respectable people should be at home and in
bed by then. Richmond isn't New York, but there are a lot of people who are
going out to dinner or a club at nine, not coming home. The Mayor scared
the restaurant and nightclub owners.

Our first client was a group called "The Western Alliance". It was a joke
name too, like Catfish & Company. The Western Alliance was a group of civic
organizations serving neighborhoods to the west of Downtown Richmond. They
included several commercial associations as well as the prosperous,
restored residential areas.

The city had closed the Precinct Station which served the area. This might
have been okay, if the City hadn't opened an office to concentrate on
fighting cyber porn. They wanted to make sure that 13 year old boys weren't
exposed to naked girls on line. It seems to me when I was 13, wanting to
see naked girls was about as natural as anything can be for kids that
age. I wanted to find pictures of naked men and couldn't find them.

The Western Alliance neighborhoods weren't high crime areas and wanted to
make sure they didn't become high crime.  These districts felt exposed and
threatened.

We rented a storefront off Main Street and set up shop. We asked the
President of the Western Alliance over to talk about what we might do for
them. Elinor Salina was a beautiful woman, blond, delicate and well
dressed. She came with Ari Metropolis, a restaurant owner and President of
the Cary Merchants Association. He looked like a gorilla.

Butch introduced us and I made a little speech. "Up until this time," I
said "I had thought the Mayor was a fool, but I have had to revise my
opinion. No mere fool would announce he was reducing police patrols at
night. He might as well send engraved invitations to known criminals giving
them appointments to rape and pillage." Elinor broke in.

"I don't think he's a fool. He's doing this on purpose." she said. "He
wants to punish us for voting against him. He thinks our neighborhood are
populated by feminists and fags and we deserve to be punished."

"I think he's playing to the Bible thumpers in the rural areas. That ass
hole wants to be Governor and he wants to destroy us to launch his career."
Ari said. "He's reducing police protection so the crime rate will rise. He
will say the crime is the result of our immoral ways and close us down. A
friend said he was originally planning a curfew. 9:30. He wanted the
streets cleared at 9:30!"

"We need to nip this in the bud." Butch said. "Without protection, your
neighborhoods are ripe for picking. Our criminal elements will be ready to
move in as soon as the Mayor gives the all clear." Butch then outlined a
proposal. We were to train citizen patrols and provide muscle for their
anti-crime efforts. He figured a combination of increased citizen
participation and professional help would solve the problem.

Butch introduced Roosevelt who gave an outline of his training
scheme. Roosevelt was a six foot four, black man who looked like a
professional football player. He was organized and well educated.  He
proposed a scheme that was sensible and doable. We had all talked about
this among ourselves before, but I was still surprised how good it sounded
coming from Roosevelt.

He gave a budget.  I though they would walk out the door when they heard
it.  They didn't even blink. There was some big money in the area and they
were scared. They said, `okay". We had our first job.

I walked Eleanor home. She knew I was the guy who had caught the purse
snatching ring several years before. I didn't know many women as pretty as
she was. She seemed to know her stuff. I didn't know that eventually she
planned to run for Mayor and solve the problem from the top.

When I got back to the office Ari was still talking with Roosevelt. Butch
had gone home. I lived above the store and I asked them up for a beer. My
apartment was basic. I thought of it more as a dorm than a home. As it
turned out, my apartment and the office were much more like fire stations,
where the firemen sleep above the trucks. I had furniture loaned to me by
John and his friends and a simple galley kitchen. The place was straight
`Home Depot' stuff.

The only nice thing in my apartment was the bath and shower. It was a big,
walk in type, covered in expensive tile.  An old friend put it in for
free. I had done him a favor and the tile and the plumbing fixtures were
mis-ordered for a big house in the deepest West End.  The owner had
demanded it and didn't like it when it came. It couldn't be returned, so he
had to buy it. My tile friend got it for free. The apartment suited me
fine.

Roosevelt was Butch's friend. I knew him, but not very well. Apparently Ari
knew him too. After a few beers we all loosened up. Ari went off to the
bath to take a leak.

"Where in hell did that come from?" he exclaimed from the bath.

"What?"

"The bath! It looks like it had just escaped from Architectural Digest!" he
answered. Roosevelt and I went back to see him. Ari looked dumb-struck as
he stood in the middle of the room. A decorator friend said it was Azure
blue with celedon highlights and with five foot high tropical birds in bas
relief. I thought of it as a blue and green room with pretty
birds. Whatever it was, it was nice. The toilet and double lavatory sat
behind a short wall.  The rest of the room was the shower.

Roosevelt was impressed too. "It's something you'd expect to find in
Hollywood." he said. "Does it make you feel like a star? It's
unbelievable."

"Can I try it?" Ari asked. I figured he may have had more to drink than I
had thought. I said `sure', there was enough room for half the city. Ari
and Roosevelt stripped and I followed suit. I later found out Ari and
Roosevelt were a lot closer than I had known and this wasn't the first time
they had been naked together. The shower had four heads and a steam
feature.

"Where in hell did that come from?" Ari exclaimed again. This time he was
looking at my cock.  "That's the biggest piece of meat I've ever seen on a
white man!" Roosevelt bellowed in laughter.

"I asked Butch how a guy as short as you ever got on the force. He said
there was more to you than meets the eye." the black man said. "Shit, half
your body weight must be in your cock and balls!"  Ari was already on his
knees slurping his tongue inside my foreskin.

"I always have trouble with short guys like you." Roosevelt said.

"Why?" I asked. I know all the stories of short guys who want to be
Napoleon. I can be a bit aggressive, but I never wanted to conquer the
world.

"It hurts my back to get down far enough to suck their cocks." he said. Ari
wasn't having any problem at all.

"I bet we can work something out." I said.  And we did.