Date: Mon, 17 Jun 2002 02:03:07 -0700 (PDT)
From: Bob Archman <bldhrymn@yahoo.com>
Subject: Catfish & Company 12

Catfish & Company 12

By Bald Hairy Man

This is a sexual fantasy with no effort made at real life experiences. If
you object to gay fiction, DO NOT READ. This story is not for you. If you
have any comments send them to bldhrymn@yahoo.com or bldhrymen@aol.com.


Sally was missing and Ovid, Wayne and Bert, sat in jail.  I think my own
interrogation techniques would have speeded things up considerably.  My
lesbo officer could have found out anything we needed and made sure the
bastards never had any kids, to boot. This is America and we can't do that.

I got a visit from one of my old friends on the force, Captain Londry. He
said, they needed some inside the jail information. He had a suspicion the
men would brag about their achievements if given a chance.

"There is something smug about them, they have that sanctimonious look that
drives me up the wall.  They are fucking proud about what they did and
would jump at a chance to tell someone to bask in the glory!" the Captain
said.  I knew he was riled.  He never used profanity in day to day life.
It took something special.

"We need someone who would never be suspected of being a cop." Londry
continued. "No offense, but you came to mind immediately." I laughed. He
had often complained about my lack of Police-like authority.

"I know Ovid." I said.

"We know that, I talked to Sheriff Earl." Londry said.  "Each is in
solitary, they can't talk to each other at all. Wayne is the brains behind
it, we think and I'm not sure he would fall for it. Bert is the man for
us. You don't know him, do you?"

"Not at all." I said.

"They are in solitary, but in two-man cells.  We're going to feed him a
line about overcrowding and a need to double up." Londry said. "I think a
firearms violation would do the trick. Do you think you could be a member
in good stand of a gun running ring?"

"I kind of think I can." I said. "I sure got the look. He didn't see my
picture with the kids at the bombing?"

"Have you looked in the mirror lately?  You don't look the way you did at
the time of the bombing. Your new haircut is a wonder.  And you do have the
look of a gun runner." the Captain said. I was in jail that night. I had
been a prison guard and I ran into some old playmates manning the gates.
They told me to be free and easy about what I did in the cell. They would
only interrupt if I needed help. I said, it was more likely he would need
the help.

"It's amazing how guys get hurt in a prison, pure accidental like." my old
friend, Ed, said. "Don't do it unless you need to, but if you need a
witness who can swear on a stack of Bibles it was an accident, I'm your
man.  If you have time, after you're done, you could drop by my apartment
and we could talk about old times?"

I grabbed his crotch and told him , "Sure. Are any of the old gang around?"

"Yep, Carter and Chuck bunk with me." Ed said.

"Hot damn!" I said.  "I'd love a reunion." With that information, I got to
the cell and became Bert's cell mate.

Bert wasn't what I thought he would be. I had guessed smart ass, but hadn't
dreamed he was both dumb and a know it all. I also hadn't guessed he was
good looking. He had been pumping iron and had boyish good looks.  The cell
was hot and he was stripped to the waist. He had a shaved head and must
have shaved the rest of his body too. He wasn't an outdoors man and was
white, with delicate pink tits.

He was surly and rude until he discovered my crime. I told him I was
smuggling guns. I went into a tirade against the Feds and the Constitution
and threw in a few comments about the UN and black helicopters.  Bert knew
an intellectual when he met one. An hour later we were best friends and he
was filling me in on all his deepest thoughts. We were sitting on our
bunks, wearing boxers only and sweating like pigs.

I'd hate to think Captain Londry was right, but Bert obviously hadn't a
clue in the world I was a cop. I thanked God that I had listened to enough
talk radio to know how the wacky Right thought.  I could speak the lingo
and could suppress the urge to tell him to shut up and cut the shit. I took
it slow and purported to have no interest in his exploits at all.

I fed him a line about running guns to Anti-Communists in Mexico. I had
meant to say Cuba, but miss spoke. As it turned out, I could have said I
was running guns to anti-Communists in Switzerland and it wouldn't have
made any difference to Bert.  He knew so much about everything, he didn't
need to do anything like read or study. We got dinner. It tasted like
shit. I was called out of the cell because of an error in my records.

Ed told me they had found Sally's body. She was burned to death in a
trailer on the south side of Richmond.  The Fire Department suspected
arson. We were dealing with Christians of another sort from the
Presbyterians back home. He also said, he had slipped something into our
food that might make Bert a bit more trusting.

"What in hell is that?" I asked.

"Let me tell you first, it takes one to know one. I have a hunch our boy
here likes man meat. I slipped some Viagra in the stew. I figure it will
inspire him." Ed said. "I think nothing would inspire confidence more than
some cock play."

"What if I ain't inspired?" I asked.

"You got the same dose."  Ed said smiling. "Just close your eyes and think
of England!"

"I guess I've never passed up a cock before." I said, laughing. He put me
back in the cell.

It was even hotter and Bert was looking at me like a cat at a mouse. He
knew easy prey when he saw it.  Bert was big and downright pretty and I am
a scrawny runt. It has always seemed to me when guys are in heat, they
don't much care about physical appearance.  I looked good to him.

Bert didn't seem to know anyway to get the conversation to sex.  I had a
thought.

"You're mighty muscular, are you a wrestler?" I asked. "You look like one
of the WWF stars."

"No, but I've done some in High School." he said.

"I was a wrestler in High School too." I said.

"You little runt! You couldn't have been a wrestler." he said with the
assurance of a guy who didn't have any idea what he was talking about.

"I may be small, but I'm tricky, want to fight me?" I said. "I'll prove
it."  There was an announcement in the hall, "Lights out in ten minutes!"

"They never turn the lights out in here. They had me on suicide watch."
Bert said.

"You ain't going to kill yourself, are you?"

"Shit no!" he said. "They're dumb asses. They're going to erect a monument
to me when America sees the light. A fucking monument."

"That's good. I'd hate to be in a bloody cell." I said.  Bert laughed. I
could see his cock peaking out of his boxers.  He was getting excited. The
lights went out.

"You're a hairy bastard. You ready to wrestle?" he asked.

"What's the prize for winning?" I asked.

"The usual. I get your ass." Bert whispered.

"We got no lube here." he laughed.

"You get to suck it before I fuck ya." he said. He seemed to think this was
real clever.

"What if I win? Did you think about that?" I asked.

"I'm a good sport. Turn about is fair play." he said.

"Have you ever lost before?" I asked.  He didn't answer right away. I knew
what the silence meant. He had more experience than he was willing to
admit.

"Shit no, let's wrestle." he said.  Bert was a shitty liar.

My playtime with Mark meant I had no problem losing. I could take a cock as
well as any guy.  What I had glimpsed of Bert's meat assured me he wasn't
one of the wonders of the modern world. I planned to win. He was bigger
than me, but I was smarter and it was hot as hell.  We were sweating like
pigs and I was as slippery as a greased pig.  The lights went out.

Bert was stupid and knew shit about wrestling. After about 30 seconds I
confirmed he had a solid six incher, with some heft.  He was dribbling
precum and I wasn't too sure he wanted to win. Ed was a smarter guy than I
had remembered.  He had figured Bert out.

Bert went straight for my boxers and had planned to trip me up with them. I
had shucked them the minute the lights went out, so I was naked.  He tried
to use a few standard holds, but I was too slippery. By then Bert had begun
to figure out how big my cock was and he began to fight harder. He wasn't
so sure he wanted to be rammed by my donkey dong.

The harder he fought, the more he sweat and the harder it was to get
me. The rubbing of our bodies together did nothing to reduce Bert's
erection, or mine for the matter. I was horny as hell, the Viagra had taken
its effect.

He was big and I was getting tired. Fortunately, Bert finally found my cock
and he deep throated it. The match was over. Bert as in love. Not with me,
with my dong.  Bert was a true cock hound and he had discovered the mother
of all cocks. He was worshipping my cock, lapping up the juices flowing
from my balls. My balls were oozing like Mt. Vesuvius. This wasn't Bert's
first time. The jerk could have gotten a doctorate in cock sucking.

We got in the 69 position and I took a lick. Bert's cock was coated in
precum. After the crappy jail dinner, Burt was oozing the food of the
gods. I postponed my interrogation and ate desert. I moved my finger to his
hole and doubled the flow when I poked it deep in his ass and reached his
prostate. I felt sorry this idiot, who could have had a perfectly good life
as a cock sucker, had fucked it up by following some sicko "born-again" and
become a mass murderer.

Bert oozed another massive glob and I lost my train of thought. It's
amazing some sex tastes and smells seem to mainline directly to your brain
and you can't think. The sucking was real good, but you can't get any
information out of a guy when his mouth is filled with your cock. Bert's
mouth was overfilled.

"Bert, my cock has an itch I can only scratch with your asshole." I
said. "Move and open up."

"You're awfully big." he whined. Bert wasn't a good liar and he didn't
sound that worried.

"You're a big boy.  You can take it.  It may sting some, but you can take
it." I said. "You've slobbered me up good.  It will fit just fine, it'll
slip right in."  That wasn't true, at least with anyone I had fucked
before, but you can't make an omelet without breaking an egg. Bert was
game.

He was already on his back in preparation to being pinned.  My cock was
dripping with Bert's saliva and my precum.  I pivoted and got his legs on
my shoulders. I spit on my fingers and worked a few into his ass.  He
tensed up when I touched his ass hole, but as soon as I forced my way past
his sphincter, he relaxed. This was no virgin ass.

I got my cock at his hole and pushed. I took it slow. He was a real
muscular guy and if he tensed up too much I figured his muscle bound bubble
butt could close me out. I also didn't want to tear him. My cock was the
uppermost limit of what Bert could take. He wanted it bad and that helped.
It was a slow path deep into his shit tunnel, but I did it and poor Bert
was in heaven.  My cock filled him completely. Once I was in he clamped
tight and it was good for me.

"Do you want this to be fast or slow?" I whispered.

"As slow as you can make it." Bert said. That was fine with me. I calmed
down some. He had my cock in a vice-like grip, but with my extra skin, once
I relaxed a bit, I could pump my cock shaft while his ass held my skin
tight. I was in all the way, but as he relaxed I could still slip in
deeper.

"Nice tight ass." I said as I slowly pulsated. These little half inch
movements of my cock head seemed to drive him crazy. He was trying to get
his hands so he could stroke his cock to climax, but I wouldn't let him. He
consoled himself by playing with my tits and chest hair.

"If I'd known jail was this much fun, I'd have blown up something years
ago." Bert said.  I'm not sure, but I think my cock had found the truth
button deep in Bert's rectum. As long as I kept on pressing it, he
continued to talk.

"You blew up something?" I asked.

"Sure did. It was in all the papers." he said. "Didn't you see it?"

"Nope. I don't read papers much." I said. "Big thing? Did you get the guys
you were after?"

"It was real big, we made a name for ourselves." Bert said. "As I said,
they're going to build a monument to us when America comes to its senses."
I rubbed the special place and Bert moaned some. "We only got collateral
damage. We were trying to get an abortion clinic, but we couldn't park
close enough.  We only damaged it, but we sure blew the shit out of a Jew
Temple."

"You did this by yourself?  It sounds like a big job." I said, hoping my
big dick in his ass diverted his attention from my poor acting
abilities. It did.

"It was a bunch of us guys. We're from Nowheresville and we sure taught
some guys a lesson." he continued. "Truthfully, we killed the wrong
people. Mostly cops and firemen.. I felt bad about that, but Reverend Tommy
said, you need to be strong. He and Rev. Paul planned it. I thought Rev.
Paul did all of it, but he was working for Rev. Tommy, the Reverend Tommy
Carter his self."

"The TV preacher?"

"That's him. You've heard of him?"

"I sure have, big time preacher man."

"He told us we were his army.  Too many people were watching him for his
people to do the work themselves. He paid for the whole thing." Bert
said. "He'll get us good lawyers and get us off.  They will get me out of
here one way or another." With that comment Bert relaxed and my cock got a
little deeper.

"Shit. I'm going to shoot!" I said.

"Fill me up!"

I did.  It's embarrassing to say, but I shot one massive load in Bert's
ass. This was no dainty spray of cum, I drained my balls and came fucking
close to passing out. Tommy Carter, television evangelist and friend of
Presidents was at the core of the bombing. It all made sense.  How could a
little church in an abandoned town, plan and execute such a plot?  They
were fronts for the big boys and no one was bigger than Reverend Tommy.

I was still draining my balls when Bert asked if he could fuck me.

"I've never done it before." he said.

"I thought you said you always won." I said.

"This isn't strictly speaking true." whispered Bert. "Until I started
working for the Army of God, I was kind of a loser. They're the only ones
who saw how good I could be. This was my first chance to be famous." I
pulled out of his ass, went over to the built in sink and washed off.

Bert was still lying on the floor with his cock hard and pointing straight
up.  It was dripping with precum.  I straddled him, positioned his dick at
my ass and sat back.  His cock head popped in my ass easily.  Bert moaned.
I eased back and the entire precum coated shaft slipped in deep.  I
steadied myself by pinching his pink tits and began doing a little dance on
his cock.

It wasn't long before his entire body began to twitch.  He shot a good one
in my ass.  Bert was crying.  He said, he had never felt anything so good
in his life.  I was out of the cell the next morning and I never saw Bert
again.

I reported to Captain Londry the results of my night with Bert.  He was as
excited as I had been and wanted to co-ordinate an expanded investigation.
I was discussing this with Londry when word came, Bert was sent to the
emergency room.  He was dead an hour later.  Someone had given him an
overdose.  Bert was right, they did get him out, one way or the other.