Date: Tue, 17 Feb 2009 19:09:18 -0800 (PST)
From: Bob Archman <bldhrymn@yahoo.com>
Subject: Catfish does Shakespeare 3

Catfish does Shakespeare 3

by Bald Hairy Man

This is a story about gay men and gay sex. If you don't like that DON'T
read it. You have been warned. It is intended for adults to read, not for
minors. It is a fantasy, not a sex manual.  No effort to portray safe sex
practices has been made.  If you have any comments send them to
bldhrymn@yahoo.com or bldhrymn@aol.com.

The next morning I looked into the Globe Theater Project and the ill fated
production of Hamlet.  One of my neighbors, Bobby Wilmot, loved the theater
and he kept clippings, programs and other information on local plays. When
I asked him about Hamlet he got excited.

"It was the play from hell. The director was a hot shot new faculty member
at UCV and this was his first play.  Tony, the Director, was very avant
guard and modern. I thought he was a bullshitter, but he really impressed
some, especially the local drama critics.  The build up for the play was
massive. Several articles in the papers and segments on the television
stations.

"And how was it?"

"Total disaster. The concept sounded good, but was bad on the stage. I just
didn't work. Tony was demanding and treated his actors like shit. He made
them bend to his will. He told them their ideas were stupid and immature,
but when the play failed he blamed it on them, publicly."

"Publicly?"

"He gave an interview saying the actors were too immature to carry out his
brilliant concept," Bobby said. "I've never seen anything like it.  You may
think that, or even say it to a few close friends, but never in
public. Then there was the mugging and the hit and run."

"Are you suspicious about those events?" I asked.

"They are curious," Bobby said. "There is more that that. Ophelia tried to
commit suicide. She thought Tony was in love with her.  He savaged her in
the newspaper."

"Did that information get out?" I asked.

"No, it was hushed up," Bobby said.

I gave him the list of the players in Midsummer Night Dream. Wilmot checked
those who were associated with Hamlet. Bruce and Mark were in the company,
but as spear carriers. Henry was the Stage Manager. Charlie played
Polonious.  Wilmot provided one unexpected bit of information. Ophelia was
now Henry's wife.  They had two children.

"Who paid for these two companies?"

"I don't know that, but I can find out pretty easily," he responded. Who
ever backed Hamlet lost big time.  It was an expensive production.  Of
course almost all plays lose money, but this was a total wipe out. There
was considerable ill feeling in the theater community, because it soured
potential donors from giving for several years."

"Was the former UCV Theater chairman Gustav Schmidt involved in the Globe
Theater Project?"

"Not directly. He hired Tony of course, but the Globe Project was
independent of the University," Wilmot explained."

"Where are Gustave and Tony now?"

"I don't know, but I can make inquiries," Wilmot said. "I take it you are
investigating something?"

"Yes, still preliminary, so there's nothing definite," I said.

'"I will ask around. I am a well known gossip. No one will think anything
of it. I'll call if I find something."

I went to my office and had my staff to a quick search on the actors and
others involved I took care of some other odd and ends that had accumulated
while I was rehearsing. There was no rehearsal that day, but I was to get
measured for my costumes.

I met Skyler DeVille, the costume designer. To say he was gay didn't do him
justice. Mega gay or Hyper gay would be closer to the truth. I'm not much
into flaming queens, but Skyler was so far beyond that, he sort of took
your breath away. He was hyper active and told me he designed and made the
costumes with limited help. He also was fast and got his work done quickly
as he chatted at a breakneck speed.

Skyler liked my hairy chest.  He had a grand scheme. The lovers and
courtiers were to elegant, sleek and smooth. The rude mechanicals, we
rustics, were to be crude and hairy. The fairies were to be dressed in
leaves, gossamer fabrics and sequins. "It's a huge cast and the audience
can get confused. I want each of the groups in the play to be distinct and
clearly defined," Skyler said. "Lord you are a hairy one. That will be
good."

"Are all of the rustics hairy?" I asked.

"Not as hairy as you, but hairy enough," he said. "You come with most of
your costume growing on your torso. It's convenient and economical."

"I'm glad to accommodate you,"

"I'm not sure what to do with the beard," Skyler mused. "How long will it
take for you to grow it longer?"

"A week or two."

Skyler laughed. "You get five o'clock shadow at ten in the morning?" I
nodded.

"Maurice! Come here," he yelled. A very small and very effeminate man
appeared. "Maurice is the production hair dresser. We're trying to save
money on wigs. We'll see what he can do."

"What in hell did the cat drag in?" Maurice asked as he gave me the once
over.

"Maurice is a flaming fagot, but he has the sensitivity of a turnip,"
Skyler explained. "Don't take a word he says seriously. He's a pig."

"I love you too," Maurice said.

"This man presents Wall in our play," Skyler said. "Rough-cast is the
phrase the Bard used."

"Rough-cast, that hardly describes him. He needs some ivy to hide the all
too obvious defects," Maurice complained.

"Damn it, once and a while you say something intelligent!" Skyler
said. "Fetch me some ivy, you worthless churl!"  Maurice vanished and
returned with a trash bag of plastic ivy.

"Would you take your shirt off,"Skyler asked. He wove the ivy into a crown
and made a necklace of ivy for my chest.  Five minutes later I was an ivy
covered wall. Skyler was happy. "I think an ivy covered jock will complete
it." I looked in the mirror and I was transformed. The effect was clever
and comic.

"What about the hole, the cranny?" Maurice asked.

"Maurice has an anal fixation," Skyler declared.

"My fixation isn't enough to let this bit of Rough-cast give me a poke,"
Maurice said.

"Don't you believe a world of that. Maurice can't pass a fire plug without
getting a hard on," Skyler proclaimed. "If it's even vaguely elongated he
wants it in his ass."

My fitting was over and I left. I ran into Charlie as I left. "They are
quite the pair," I remarked.

"Believe it or not, but they are both are good at what they do."

"Have there been any incidents over night?"

"No letters for several days," Charlie said. "Maybe it's over. Whoever was
sending them my have gotten his jollies and has moved onto something new."
As we talked the man playing Demetrius, Roland Smith, came over. He hadn't
been at the rehearsals due to hid Grandmother's funeral.

Roland was tall, dark and handsome. He seemed pleasant and affable. It was
hard to believe he and Skyler were the same species. Roland wanted to know
what he needed to do to make up for his absence. Everything seemed normal.

The next morning they found Maurice's body at the foot of the balcony
stair. He was dead. I didn't hear about it until after noon. It was treated
as an accident and not a crime.  There was no media coverage.

The crew was shocked. Skyler was devastated. While it was treated as an
accident I didn't believe that for one minute. No one in the cast, or crew
believed it either. While they bickered,incessantly Skyler and Maurice were
lovers. Apparently it was a mutually agreeable master slave relationship.

The stage manager told me there was no reason for Maurice to go up the
stairs he was supposed to have fallen down. "Maurice stayed in the costume
shop and almost never left it. It's hard to believe he had any reason to go
to the balcony." I called Bobby Wilmot to see what he knew about Skyler and
Maurice.

"Skyler's a character but genuinely talented and driven. His costumes are
always done on time. He was involved in the Hamlet disaster.  He was fired
because he wouldn't do what the director wanted."

"Isn't that his job? To do what the director wanted?" I asked.

"To a point. The costumes weren't workable," Bobby explained. "It was
physically difficult for the actors to move inside them. The reviewers
mentioned the wooden acting in the play.  Much of that was due to the
costumes."

Rather to my surprise, Skyler was a the show must go on man. He took a day
off for the funeral, but that was it. Several days later he had my costume
finished and I went in for a fitting. It wasn't so much as a fitting as an
attaching. He had the pieces ready, but wasn't sure how to attach them to
my body.

I stripped off my shirt and got down to my shorts. "I hope you aren't a
really modest guy, but your going to need to take more off," Skyler
said. "You need to wear my souped up jock." I took off my shorts. The jock
was one step more modest than a jock. It was covered in ivy, but lined in
silk. Next came grassy boots. They had vines that went up my legs and
attached to the jock.

One of he vines was actually a suspender that kept the jock from sagging
under the weight of the ivy.  The crown from my first fitting was now
greatly embellished and had birds in it. There were buttons in the jock to
make the birds sing. The whole contraption was pretty cool.  He told me to
walk. Several things poked me, so he adjusted them.

Throughout the entire fitting, Skyler never copped a feel or fondled my
equipment. I was shocked. I went to a rehearsal of the Pyramis and Thisbe
play after the fitting. This was more of a costume run through. Dress
rehearsal was weeks away, but Charlie and Skyler wanted to make sure the
unusual costumes worked. It was spectacular. The collection of hairy
rustics struck just the right tone for the farce. We had to stop a few
times the crew was laughing so hard.

Fred is a hairy Polar Bear. He was wearing a kilt, big horsehair Classical
Greek helmet and armor. The armor was made of tortoise shells
unconvincingly tied together. Robert, who played Thisbe was in a grass
skirt with squash gourd breasts. The costumes were imaginative, funny and
oddly attractive.

Afterwards in the dressing room, it took a while to undress me and then no
one there missed the opportunity to cop a feel or make a comment. It sounds
stupid, but I was relieved my cock hadn't lost it's magic. Even Robert was
interested. I've always said there's a world of difference between a red
neck and a big dicked red neck.

As I left Skyler came up to me. "Would you like to get together and have a
glass of wine?"

"I need to get something to eat," I said.

"Well I can solve that problem," Skyler said. "Follow me, my apartment's
just around the corner. I will whip up something fast and good."

His apartment was very nice. It looked like something you'd find in a fancy
magazine. He also made a good dinner. He broiled two steaks and made a
salad. Skyler was all business while he cooked, but we talked about the
play during dinner. The conversation turned to the poison pen letter
afterwards.

"I assume you are investigating the letters," he said. "You aren't fooled
by Maurice's death are you?"

"It doesn't smell good," I said. "Murder seems extreme."

"You're right about that. I thought it was a bitter hyper-sensitive
artistic type who was nasty," Skyler said. "Nasty is one thing; murder is
another."

"Did Maurice have enemies?"

"Maurice was harmless. He had spats. No one paid any attention to him,
except for me, of course," he said.

"You had spats too?"

"That was a game. Maurice had what we would now call an esteem problem. He
insulted people before they had a chance to insult him," Skyler
said. "Verbal abuse turned him on. It was a quirk. We would fight all day
and I'd fuck him silly all night. It was a satisfactory arrangement for
both of us. He was a size queen.  I was the biggest man he had met. He
thought he had died and gone to heaven when I fucked him the first time."

"He was a good bottom?"

"You must know what it's like when you find someone who can take your cock
and enjoy it.  He just loved it," Skyler said. "If he knew you were hung,
he'd have loved you. I promised him if I ever ran into a guy who is bigger
then me I'd bring him home. I discovered you a few days too late."

"I wasn't his type."

"I hate to sound tacky, but your cock is his type."

I laughed. "I've run into that a few times before. I don't mind
curiosity. You were good doing the fitting. You don't mix business and
pleasure?"

"Genitals and costume design are a bad combination," Skyler said. "It's
unethical. Actors can get really jumpy if they think you're going to jump
them."

I smiled.  "You're right about that."

"Through the grapevine I've heard you aren't opposed to a little show and
tell," Skyler said.

"You heard wrong. I never tell."

"If I changed it to a show and taste would it be more correct?"  Skyler
asked. I began to unbutton my shirt.

It was hard to believe how fast Skyler stripped.  One minute he was
dressed, the next minute he was nude. I had no idea what he would look like
naked. He was tall, slim and quite muscular.  He looked liked a swimmer, or
a dancer. He was shaved, except for his bush and genitals. They were
natural. He had blond hair on his head, but his pubes were black. His skin
was pale, but healthy looking. His large pink tits and cock head provided
the only color. The head was pinkish purple. The cock itself was seven or
eight inches long in a relaxed state.

He was attractive and masculine, or as masculine as a man as elegant as he
could be. The only discordant aspect of his body was his balls. Skyler had
Godzilla's balls. They were huge and contained in a hairy, low hanging
sack.  I guessed his cock was longer than mine, but I was thicker. I
wouldn't know until he got hard.

I cupped them in my hand. "Pretty," I said. "You have the meat and
potatoes."

Skyler smiled. "I like smooth men,"he said, "but I could never get a razor
near my family jewels. Maurice wanted me to shave my bush, but I wouldn't
do it."

"He was smaller than I am. Did he have any problem taking it?" I asked as I
stroked his cock. A bead of precum emerged from the slit.  Touched it with
my finger and spread it over his knob.

"He said it was hard to take, but he always came back," Skyler said. He had
peeled my foreskin back to expose my head. "Can I lick it?" he asked.

"Sure," I said. "I leak a lot. Do you like cock juices?"

"Maurice drooled like a leaky faucet," he said as took my cock into his
mouth. Skyler weeped as he licked and sucked my cock. My cock drool seemed
to being back memories of his late lover. No one had talked to him about
Maurice beyond the normal conventional condolences. Sex was at the core of
their friendship and no one talked about that and how much he had lost.

I asked him if Maurice had a tight hole, and did it open and relax as the
night wore on. Then I asked if he shot his load in the ass or down his
throat. Skyler wanted to talk.

"He loved it in the ass," Skyler reminisced, "He was totally passive. If I
had a friend over we'd both fuck him.  He'd beg until he got you up his
ass. We went to a party once where everyone took there turn. When we got
home, I fucked him again.  It was like churning butter. Have you ever used
your pals' cum as lubricant?"

"A few times," I said. "Sperm is good lube.  It may sound funny, but it was
a turn on when I knew my pals made it in their balls. Call me a romantic."

Skyler laughed. "I felt the same way.  It's messy, but exciting.  By the
way, your cock drool is tasty."

"Thanks. Good sex can be messy. That doesn't bother me much. I don't need
to look my best to have a good time," I said. We got on his bed so we could
sixty-nine. He must have been 12 inches. His cock was meaty, but I was able
to deep throat him. I must have suctioned a pint of precum from his balls
as I pulled back.

"I hate mess. I'm too much of a control freak," he said.  "Could you do
that again?  It was great."

I felt a bit like a suckling pig on a spit, but I did it again. He tried to
do the same, but I was too thick. He did do his best and I appreciated the
effort. I deep throated him again and this time I smelled the aroma of
lubricant coming from his hole.

I got my finger at his ass hole and played with his slippery sphincter.
"Were you expecting company?" I asked.

"I don't know what I was expecting," Skyler said. He may not have been
expecting, but he had a hope. Skyler didn't know he was a bottom for
another fifteen minutes. It took that long to get in. He had lots of lube
and poppers to easy the way.  Once I was in, I took the poppers and I
fucked him silly.