Date: Sun, 25 Jun 2006 04:42:21 -0700 (PDT)
From: Bob Archman <bldhrymn@yahoo.com>
Subject: Catfish Ride Again 3

Catfish Rides Again 3


By Bald Hairy Man

If you are offended by gay sex or are underage, DON'T read this story. This
is a fantasy, not a sex manual. No effort to portray safe sex is made in
this story.  This story is part of an extended group of stories listed
under Millennium Construction Company. If you have want to know more about
the characters look it up.  If you have comments write me at
bldhrymn@excite.com or bldhrymn@yahoo.com



Donnan was a good man but he wasn't built for speed or stealth. I'm afraid
a herd of Buffalos had a better chance of a sneak attack. After searching
fruitlessly for the prowler, we returned to the RV and called the cops and
Donnan called in reinforcements.

"It could be a looter, but it could be someone who had left something, or
wanted to find something in the house," Donnan said. "We need to do a fine
tooth comb search."  He also called in the State Police.

"You'll piss off Chief Thompson," Scooter said.

"I'm not too worried about that," Donnan said. "He hasn't exactly been
helpful.  The whole situation smells bad. There's trouble in River City and
it ain't pool."

I offered to stay and watch for the rest of the night, but Donnan said he'd
do that. "I'm wide awake now."

Scooter and I returned to the farm. I was bushed and went right to bed. I
hate to sleep with a full load still brewing in my balls, but it happens
sometimes. The next morning I asked my Mom what the found in the lock box
at the bank.

Mom hesitated. "Come on Mom. Someone murdered her.  There may be a clue in
the box."

"Catfish is right," Aunt Ellen said. "It was a big box and filled to the
brim. We didn't find the will, but there were deeds, stock certificates and
certificates of deposit."

"No will you said?"  I asked.

"No will." Mom replied.  I went to the phone and called Donnan.  I told him
the will was missing and might be somewhere in the house.

"The big crime scene unit from Roanoke will be here at noon," Donnan
said. "If it's in the house, they'll find it."  I returned to the kitchen
table.

"Mr. Wampler said the properties didn't have any value," Ellen said.

"I might like a second opinion on that," Elizabeth said. "Byron Wampler
isn't crooked, but he has been known to stray near the edge once and a
while.  Did he offer to take the properties off your hands?"

"How did you know that?" Mom asked. Elizabeth gave a knowing smile.

"Let's just say, his offers reflect the assessed valuation rather than the
market value," Elizabeth said. "When my husband died, he offered me
$150,000.00 for the farm. Scooter was insulted."

"How can we get a realistic valuation?" Aunt Sarah asked,

"I know a retired real estate man," Elizabeth said. "He's an old friend and
a card-carrying member of the Courthouse gang. He'll know."

"Did you ask about the checking account?" I asked.

"Darn, we forgot," Mom said. "Maybe we can do that today. We do have to pay
for the funeral expenses and cleaning up the house. When can we go to the
house?"

"Not now," I replied. I told them about the events of the last night and
they understood.

"Edith had some of Momma's things," Ellen said. "Can you ask them to be
careful? Edith got a majority of the things in the house when Momma
died. She wasn't married at the time and didn't have anything.  Did you see
the big green soup tureen?"

"No, I didn't but everything was sooty," I replied.

"Our mother used to put important things in the tureen," Ellen said. "If
there are important papers in the house, that's where Edith might put
something like a will."

"Well, Donnan said they were going to use a fine tooth comb. I take that to
mean they're going to be careful and look at everything."

I wanted to go into town and see what was up. My Mom and Aunts needed the
Buick, but Elizabeth offered the use of the jalopy. It was the car Scooter
had as teenager. "It still runs well, but it not an impressive vehicle,"
she said.

The jalopy was an old, slightly souped-up Dodge Dart. There were NASCAR
stickers on the worst rust spots.  It was perfect. I felt 18 again.  I went
into town.  I stopped first at the funeral home to see of there was any
word on the body.  Billy had called the Medical Examiner. They thought the
body would be released that afternoon.

"If it's of any comfort, she was dead well before the mutilation and the
fire," Billy said. "A single blow to the head. She died instantly."

It was odd, but I did feel better.  "Scooter told me you are a big boy,"
Billy whispered.

"Are you into size?"

"No," Billy said decisively. "Well, maybe a little."  He looked at me
sheepishly. "You may think you've run into a bunch of fags, but we aren't
gay. We just mess around some."

I looked him in the eye. "I am gay and I mess around lots."  The door bell
rang and some customers came in, so I left.  I went to the diner. It was
closed. I went to the back and found a doorbell next to a rear
entrance. After pressing it, Andy appeared.

He looked mad until he saw me, then he smiled.

"Closed because of the robbery?"

"Hell no!  This is my fishing day," Andy answered. "This is a small town
and they understand that.  Come on in."

We went upstairs and he gave me a cup of coffee. "Is sex with you always
that good?" he asked.  "I'd forgotten what it was like.  I'm not much of a
lady's man."

"Sex with me depends what you're into," I answered.  "If you like your men
manly and don't mind if they're short, I the guy for you."

"Short and hung like King Kong?"

"You noticed?"

Andy laughed. "I sure did. It looks like something you would find preserved
in a bottle at the Smithsonian.  It's huge.  Would you mind if we did it
again?"

"Well, I'm fully loaded and cocked," I said.  "Do you think you could suck
me until I shoot?"

Andy looked uncertain.  "I can try."

"Do you like to get fucked?" I asked.  Now Andy looked really uncertain.  I
continued talking, "Hey Andy. I drained the cum from your entire
reproductive system last night. I'm not the shy type and what you like or
don't like is fine with me." I was getting undressed as we chatted. I
figured that would keep Andy interested.

"Well, I've done a little experimenting," Andy admitted. "Not with guys,
but experimenting."

"Dildos?"

"Sort of," Andy said, "I've used what's available."  Andy was naked now and
really excited.  I couldn't figure out what Andy was talking about, then I
realized he was a cook. I guessed a carrot or zucchini would meet his
needs.

"Was your experimenting successful?" I asked.  He blushed, then
nodded. "Have you worked up to something big, like a zucchini?"  He blushed
again. I had guessed right.

"I did a cucumber," he admitted.

"How was it?"

"Good," he said. "I liked it."

"Never had a cock in your ass, though?"

"No, I was too embarrassed," he said. "I don't know anyone who would do it
with me.  It's a small town."

I was hard as a rock now.  Andy was staring at my engorged cock.  "Do you
think you'd like to try the real thing?"

"Can you take it slow?" he asked.  I took that as a yes.

"You just relax and leave yourself in Dr. Catfish's hands," I said. "I want
you to enjoy this as much as I do. I've done this before and I know what
I'm doing."

"Do you get many repeat customers?"

"I sure do," I replied.  "I'm still getting Christmas card from a guy I
fucked once in 1983."

Andy laughed. "Maybe I'll take just half?"

It was my turn to laugh.  "You just want to get half fucked?  Do you have
some lubricant?"

"Extra virgin olive oil," he said.  "I'm a cook.  It's always available."

"I need to open you up some," I said. "Do you have something I could work
in your hole?  I've never used a vegetable as a dildo before.  It kind of
turns me on." Andy got the olive old while I checked out his vegetable
drawer. I picked out a large and long carrot and a beefy zucchini. The
carrot had been cleaned and I suspected Andy might have had other plans for
it.

I'm not usually much of an asshole man, but when I got Andy on his back
with his legs spread and his hole exposed, I liked what I saw. He had
swirls of hair covering, muscular buns. In the center was the pink pillow
of the sphincter muscle with a delicate rosebud in the middle. It was
pretty.

I put some oil on my finger and played with the rosebud. Andy twitched when
the cool oil touched his ass. I planned to finger fuck him, then use the
vegetables.  For a grande finale, I would fuck him to the moon and
back. Somehow my tongue made the first attack on his ass.

Neither Andy nor I expected that. His ass was tight, but eventually he
relaxed enough for me to get my tongue past the sphincter a little. He was
moaning and begged me to get something deeper into his ass.  I got the
carrot, coated it in oil and eased it through the pucker. Damn if I didn't
get my tongue back in his hole, pushing the carrot deeper.


I pushed his legs back and as his body reacted normally, trying to expel
the foreign object from his ass, I started to nibble on it. I'm not into
shit, but Andy was clean as a whistle. I ended up munching on it.  Andy was
going crazy.

There was a zucchini waiting, but I couldn't wait. It was time for the main
attraction. "I can't wait any longer. I've got to get in your ass," I
said. "Are you ready?"

"Shit yes!" Andy exclaimed.

I stood up and coated my cock with the oil. I pulled him to the edge of the
bed and the pushed his legs back so they were against his chest. His ass
was wide open and defenseless.  While he looked a little worried, he looked
more excited.  While I had been working on his ass, he had been leaking pre
cum.  His gut was covered in the stuff. I collected some on my hand and
added it to the oil on my cock. Natural lube is the best and he was oozing
buckets of it. You don't often get to fuck a guy using his own precum as
lube.  It was a nice touch.

I nosed my cock head into his quivering hole. I told myself to slow down
and take my time. I bounced my cock head against his pucker. With each
little bounce I got a little deeper. "Relax and let me in," I whispered.  I
remembered when I had touched his tits the night before he got excited. I
reached over and pinched each tit gently.

Andy's tits were like an automatic garage door opener. As I pinched, he ass
lost its muscle tone and my cock slipped slowly into his ass. I didn't
shove it in, I just eased forward until every inch was in his rectum. Andy
moaned and his eyes rolled back into his head. It was beautiful.

I let go of his tits and his ass contracted, grabbing my cock with his ass
muscles. I thrust a little. He had a sphincter or iron. It was a natural
cock ring, keeping me rock hard. Then I tweaked his tits and he opened
wide.

The next fifteen minutes were great. It was good for me, but it was
phenomenal for Andy. I knew he had discovered parts of his body he didn't
know existed and he was feeling all new sensations. It was a battle for me
to not shoot off.  He had the ass of my dreams. Andy began to shoot.  When
he did, his ass convulsed.  That was enough to push me over the edge. My
cock shot the ripe cum in my balls into the deepest recess of his body.

"What in hell happened?" Andy asked once he got his breath back.

"I hate to break it to you, but you aren't a virgin anymore," I said. "And
unless I have badly misjudged what just happened, you're also a man who's
seriously into his ass. You liked what just happened?"

"Damn, I didn't know you could feel so much," he said. "I got dizzy it was
so good. I had no idea "

"I have to get over to the house, but I sure want to do this again." I said
as I got up.

"Is it always this good?" Andy asked.

"For you it will be," I said. "You're a natural bottom. There is nothing
but good spots in your ass." Andy was still on the bed.  I leaned over,
quickly worked my finger into his ass and pressed his prostate.  Andy
moaned.

"Damn, that's good," Andy cried. "But not as good as the cock."

"I have to go, but I'll be back," I said. I washed up, got dressed and
left.

I got to Aunt Edna's house five minutes later.  There was another RV on the
street.  This was a State police crime scene unit. Donnan was talking with
a trooper. I went over.

"Trooper Morris. This is Catfish Noland," Donnan said in
introduction. "He's the nephew of the victim."  We shook hands.

"My Aunts said to look in the soup tureen for the will," I said. "It's a
traditional family hiding place."

"Trooper Smith," Morris bellowed. "Look for a soup tureen."

"What in hell is a tureen?" Smith yelled back.

"Watch the fucking food channel! Get some culture!," Morris replied. "It's
a large covered bowl for soup. Usually there's a place for the ladle. Don't
ask me what a ladle is!"

"There are some antiques and heirlooms there. My Aunts are worried they
might get broken.  They're not valuable, just important to my Aunts," I
said.  Donnan burst out in laughter.

"Catfish, Trooper Morris is called Bull by those who know him.  He's a
regular Bull in a china shop," Donnan explained.

A Buick appeared coming down the street. It stopped and my mother and two
Aunts got out and came over to us.

"Catfish, I remembered something. I though you should know." Mom said.  I
introduced her to Donnan and Morris. "When we were girls, we had a secret
hiding place under the bottom step of the attic stair. You might look
there."

"Thank you Ma'am," Morris said. He went into the house.

"We went to the bank. Her checking account was much depleted," Ellen
said. "A series of four and five hundred dollar checks made out to cash.
They were all within the last six months."

"Is there an obvious explanation?" Donnan asked.

"Very odd," Ellen said. "Edith was a skinflint. When we went on little
vacation, she would cash a check for twenty and expect it to last a week."

"It sounds like blackmail," I said.

"That would be hard to believe," Sarah said. "Her life was blameless,
except for the lack of charity and kindness to others, of course."

"It might be one of her fire and brimstone charities," Mom suggested. "Just
give us the money in cash.  We can get it right to the need that way. Edith
would fall for that line. She distrusted everyone except religious con
men."

"Give that lady a gold ring!" Morris bellowed from an upstair window. " I
found the will. I found two wills."  Morris was with us a minute later with
two envelops.  Trooper Smith emerged from the house with a large,
soot-covered tureen at the same time. We took them into the Police RV.

The tureen contained some antique jewelry, and a ledger book.  There was
also something that looked like a deed.  There was one will was dated six
months earlier, the other was two weeks old. Trooper Morris was a stickler
for procedure and he wanted recorded and professionally examined before
they were examined. It was disappointing, but I understood his reasoning.
The police wanted to know what was in the will and other information before
it became general information.

My Mom and Aunts were probably heirs, and thus possible suspects.  I
explained this to my Mom.  She was actually flattered that anyone could
consider that option. "I've never been a dangerous woman before," she
said. They had an appointment with Billy Graves to make final arrangements
for the funeral. They heard the body was on its way.

One of the Police men told me to go to the Station to give my statement on
the attempted robbery of the dinner. That took all afternoon. Wythetown's
Police Department didn't have two crimes at the same time.  Their resources
were stretched thin.