Date: Thu, 24 Dec 2015 06:45:13 +0000
From: Max Dowling <maxieplus@hotmail.com>
Subject: Never Give Up- Codes you awake 5

Codes you awake 5
Maxieplus

I sat inside with my dads and tried to form an inquiry that wouldn't get me
involved in all sorts of questions I couldn't answer.

"Dad do you know anyone on the local council?"

"Of course son, plenty. We work closely with them so does Uncle Jamie,
what's up?"

"Oh nuthin, I just wanted to find out if they own the bluff up the beach
that's all. There's something I want to do."

"And what's that Cody?"

"Nuthin dad, just thinking about something that's all."

"Something to do with Mitch?" Dan asked.

"Maybe, do you know if they own it or not?" I was avoiding what I didn't
want, a barrage of questions.



They went quiet for a while. I suppose waiting for me to elaborate but I
didn't.

"We own that land Codes, its part of our, for a better word, compound."

"We do? I never knew that, I thought it was public land?"

"No son, your great grandparents opened the walking tracks to the public
years ago. They even put a small car park in. We kept meaning to do
something with it but by the time we decided, Jimmy was killed so we
immediately closed it down to the public. That's why you can only access it
from our drive, we thought it was too beautiful up there to hide away."

"You knew about Jimmy?"

"Yes son, it was a terrible thing to happen. Such a tragic end for a
beautiful little boy but we didn't realize Mitch was his brother. He
confused us the other week but then when we thought about it the dots were
joined. Jimmy did have a brother called Mitchell. They used to come here
when you were little, not much, but they came to a couple of your birthday
parties."

"I don't remember them dad."

"You wouldn't, you were only four or five then and I think Mitch went to
the other school in town. It was his father that landscaped Rory's place
and Trent's. He was a gorgeous man, so fucking tragic son."

"Dads, I want to erect a safety rail across the cliff face and do something
else but I can't tell you."

"Oh Codes, we thought about that but when it happened nobody wanted to go
there anymore. So we put up private property signs and closed it down. But
yes by all means erect a fence, just give us the invoices."

"No dad, this is for Mitch and me, I've got my birthday money from the
estate I can use."

"No honey that was from your dad, he would want you to do something for
yourself with that money."

"I am dad, believe me, I am."

Tears stated to flow down my face by this time. I didn't know why and I
prayed my plan worked. I'm no healer but I can give it my best shot.

"Thanks dad, I'm going for a drive into town."

"You okay Codes?"

"Yes dad, just a moment that's all, I'll come good."



I drove into town to organize a couple of things. Firstly to the fencing
company and then next was the library. I collected the information I needed
and called into the council chambers to talk to dad's friend. He was more
than helpful with permits and with my special request. I then hit up the
engravers.

It was a full afternoon for me but I wasn't finished yet. I called into
dad's cafe and organized a picnic basket for Mitch and I.

"I won't be home tonight dad, I'm having a picnic with Mitch."

"Okay Codes, how did you go today?"

I sat next to my dad Dan and he put his arm around my shoulder.

"Good dad, everything's organized. I hope it works and I hope more that his
parents hear of it, that's my next step."

"Well whatever you decide we will be behind you one hundred percent son, we
are very proud of you, you know."

"I know dad and I need to try and fix Mitch before we move forward."

"Well I'm sure you know what you're doing."



He hugged me then Cody came over and hugged my other side.

"Dan we need to work out what to do with that land. Jamie and Luke were
going to build their house on it because the views are awesome. I think
Jamie has still got the plans somewhere."

"They were going to build their dream home on it but Lukey kept changing
his mind. He just wanted to stay with us in the end and Jamie seemed good
with that, it was a funny time then. I don't suppose you would like to
build your house on that block Codes, it would change that landscape
forever?"

"Oh dad what a brilliant idea but sorry I've got no money for million
dollar houses." I chuckled.



"Let us buy you a present son, maybe you can think about it and let us know
by the year's end." Dan smiled at me.

I was grateful for their offer, it would be wonderful to build up there, a
bit windy but wonderful. I might ask Uncle Jamie to show me his plans.

"Thanks dads but it wouldn't feel right. If Mitch and I get to that stage
we can re-visit the idea. It might just be too much for him to cope with
now."

"The unlucky bluff," Cody mused.

"What's that Codes?" Dan asked.

"Nuthin Dan."



My phone went off and it was Mitch, he was just coming up the drive. I went
out to welcome him and maybe get a grope or two in; he was a little off,
maybe, but soon cheered up when I suggested a picnic. It was starting to
get dark so I said I wanted to go to the bluff to watch the moon and stars
come out, he hesitated but then agreed.





"Hold my hand baby." He walked me over to the grassy area and I looked
about then dropped my shorts. I had my black jock on this time and he was
on me straight away. There was no one about; in fact I've only ever seen
Mitch up here. He sucked my balls through the elastic fabric while running
his hands over my ass then he sucked on his index finger and inserted it
into my bum. I felt my nerve endings come alive, my dick was now in his
mouth and his finger found my prostrate. I humped him wildly until I came
down his throat and I nearly collapsed with wonderful feelings. He grinned
at me then dropped his shorts, a red jock poked out and it was overloaded
with cock and balls, so I did the same to him. Inserting my finger he
squealed so I had to retract it. Instead I turned him around and smelt his
bum, he was freshly showered so I let fly with my tongue and rimmed him, he
didn't squeal this time, just moaned.



"Oh Codes, Codes, that's awesome, keep going, it's wonderful."

So I did for the next ten minutes. I wet his hole and stroked his dick, he
came in the end. He just couldn't hold off any longer. His heavy breathing
continued as I opened the picnic basket and took out two cokes; then laid
out the foil packages on our blanket.

"Codes, that was awesome, I love you so much."

"Look, a shooting star, make a wish."

"Oh God, your sky is beautiful tonight."

"Thank you," I replied.

"Get some photos," Mitch suggested.

I took many and loads of Mitch with one or two in his jock as he posed for
me, his boner showing signs of going again.

"Good memories, Mitch, good memories," I whispered.

We ate in silence but I did manage to play the chicken game with him. I
popped a piece of chicken in his mouth and quickly retracted my fingers
before he bit them. He did the same and no one won because I didn't want to
hurt him. Conner on the other hand lost loads of times I chuckled to
myself.

"Hold my hand baby, keep me safe."

"I always will Codes no matter what."

He walked me back to the car and it was now or never.

I opened the back door dropped my shorts and laid face down on the back
seat.

"Do me."

"What?"

"Do me, fuck me, stick it in me, do me now."

"Codes, you just can't do that without preparing for it, that's insane."

"Prepare me then, do it."

"Not here, not now, get up Codes your driving me to distraction."

"What?"

"Come on, let's go home, my head is spinning."

"You don't want to fuck me then?"

"Of course I fucking do, it's all I ever think about but not here, not
now."

"Okay, later on in bed?"

"No, I've got to go home and study."

"What?"

"You heard me."

I pulled my shorts up and went and sat in the front, I pouted all the way
home.

"You sure you don't want to stay Mitch?"

"Yep, I've got to go home."

"I'll tongue your ass again."

"Cody stop that, you're driving me nuts."

He climbed into bed and I flipped him over, yeah he's so easy.



I met the contractor at the bluff the next day. He had some great ideas. We
talked about what I wanted and we both agreed on a nice sturdy double fence
well back from the edge. He would start in a few days. So I handed him a
deposit, then sat on our grass and surveyed the area. I thought yes, a
house would be good on this spot. But then I thought what would Mitch say,
what would his parents say? I mulled over these questions for ages. My dad,
Dan, arrived and sat with me. He just looked out to the sea while I was
deep in thought. Finally I made a decision.

"It's not urgent dad, Mitch and I are so new, he might not even like me
after I do this, he might get worse."

"He won't Codes, he loves you. He told me you're the best thing that's
happened to him since he was a kid, he's going nowhere." A tear escaped my
eye so I wiped it with my shirt then answered,

"It's the same with me dad. I got him and I love him but every hour of
every day I am so scared I am going to lose him. I don't think he would
cheat or even leave me, but he might resent my intrusion in his private
affairs."

"I still think that today after many years I would die if Cody left me and
I still worry I'm not good enough for him."

"You can't think like that dad, he's going nowhere. He adores you, any
idiot can see that."

"Well don't think so much on how Mitch would react. Just be there for him
when he does."

"I will dad, the fence is going to look good, it will be waist high, rust
resistant and strong.



During the following days I took Mitch up to our grassed area to watch the
stars. Sometimes we made love and sometimes we just sat in silence. On
Wednesday night we parked and I took his hand as we walked over towards our
spot. He stopped and looked, blinking as something had caught his eye. The
fence had been done the day before.

"What's this?" he asked.

"The owners put it up, it's a safety fence baby, hold my hand and let's
go."

He kept looking at it, the moon was a full on and it lit up the area, it
was shining its subtle light upon us. He didn't notice at first but when he
did he looked at me, his face unreadable.

"A bench, they put a bench in for us?"

"Wow, that's great babe now I won't get my butt wet."

We sat down and he kissed me, I turned to look the bench over.

"What's that Mitch?"

"What?"

"That." I pointed to a large brass plaque that had been attached to the
back of the seat. My gut was in knots, it's now or never.

"I don't know, there's writing on it, hang on let's see."

"In loving memory of our much loved son and brother Jimmy Dyson."

He stopped dead and I heard a deep gasp. He swallowed, his tears started to
flow and he unconsciously reached for my hand fumbling in the moonlight to
hold it tightly.

"What was that Mitch?" I asked quietly.

He took ages to get his head around it but finally said,

"In loving memory of our much loved son and brother

Jimmy Dyson

"Died August sixteenth two thousand, aged four.

Result of accident."

"Look to the skies and see the beauty in God's gifts."

Mum, dad and Mitchell.

He read it ten times until he was emotionally exhausted and drained of any
energy.



Eventually I got him up onto the seat and wiped his eyes then hugged him
closely to me. He cried and cried until there were no more tears. I thought
I might steer him to the car. This was too much for him but he didn't want
to leave, so we sat and looked at the stars, he was holding onto me with a
death grip.

He whispered,

"Look to the skies and see the beauty in God's gifts."

I took my time to answer, I had rehearsed what I was going to say...well
here go's nothing.



"You only saw the cliff baby, you didn't see him smiling back at you every
time you came here. He's been waiting for you to notice him because he
wanted to tell you something important, something you had maybe forgotten."

"What's that?" I could barely hear him.

"The second to last line Mitchell, result of accident, and it was an
accident. In a little six year old boy's world things get a bit distorted,
especially if he blames himself for his brother's accident. You didn't take
him to the toilet, you never let go of his hand and you certainly didn't
kill him. He ran to the edge because he was chasing seagulls while you were
helping your mum to prepare lunch. It was your dad who was supposed to be
looking out for him but he was momentarily distracted. The cliff gave way
and he fell, an accident Mitch not a little six year old boy's fault." I
kissed his hand and wiped the tears again from his beautiful face, he
stared into my eyes.

"How?"

"Public records at the library, then I read the police reports. It wasn't
your fault, it wasn't your dad's either. Just an overexcited little boy
chasing seagulls, an accident."

I had to push those two words into Mitch's brain and hope to God he got it.

"You can let go now baby, your safe with me."

He held our hands up, looked at them and me then let go. He sat back down
on the grass leaning on the seat just looking at the plaque for
ages. Reading and re-reading it then he looked at me. His eyes were swollen
and red as he took my hand again and kissed it repeatedly.

"You did all this for me?"

"For us."

"Thank you."

"Your most welcome, now would you like to go home and get some rest?"

"Yes."

I pulled him up but before we went I took photos of the plaque and Mitch
with his arm over it.

"Take my hand baby."

"No Codes, take mine." He held it tightly.

"Thank you, my beautiful Mitchell."



Silently we drove home then I steered him inside. I think it's going to be
an early night. My dads hugged him and kissed his cheeks but he didn't say
anything just followed me into the bedroom where I got him undressed and
into bed. After pulling him into my chest he cried until he went to sleep,
I cried with him.

Sometime in the night I heard.

"Codes, you awake?"

I pulled him closer and said,

"Go to sleep baby boy, your safe now."



The sun was out in the morning, I had left Mitch to lie in because he was
totally exhausted, I knew he had slept restlessly all night.

"How did it go?"

"Okay I think, I just have to get him to believe it was an accident not an
innocent little boy's fault. He cried a lot and held me, which is a good
sign but it's only the start of his healing dad. There's much more to come
when I figure it out. Dad Codes, how well do you know Mrs. Dyson?"

"I see her in the coffee shop from time to time, her office is in the
complex son, why?"

"I don't know dad, I haven't figured it out yet."

"Codes, this is too much for you to do on your own, so please let us help."

"Maybe you're right, last night took a lot out of us but I want to get
Mitch and his dad talking again and I got as far as trying to let his mum
know about the park bench. Maybe that will spark questions. I am guessing
here but I think you will find Mitch's dad blames himself as much as Mitch
does. We have to make them believe it was an accident, we just have to." I
was getting agitated.

"Its okay son, don't get worked up. I know how to help. Mary, who I'm very
friendly with, comes in regularly at lunchtime so I will mention the plaque
to her. She's a secretary at the real estate and if I know her, she will be
running back to tell Roz."

"Problem solved, thank you dad."

"I have tried my hardest to replace Mitch's sad memories with good ones. I
hope to God if only a little bit sunk in, then it would be good."

"You did Code's, you got more than a few good memories going," Mitch said
as he came out the door, my face went red, he kissed my lips.

"I missed you this morning, why did you leave me?"

"Coffee Mitch, I needed coffee." I smiled, dad looked at Cody and laughed.



We sat on the beach most of the morning, and talked about a lot of things
that were very personal to Mitch. He really didn't remember the accident
but he did blame himself. Then the subject came around to his studies.



"I really don't understand a lot of it Codes, it confuses me but sometimes
it is interesting. I am only looking for answers."

"Well maybe that's some of the problem Mitch. I don't think you will find
the answer in any books. Reality presents a lot of answers depending where
you are looking. Maybe your studies are making your depression worse
because you've become frustrated with looking all the time. It's a constant
disappointment if you get my reasoning?"

He looked me in the eyes, and shook his head, then I remembered something I
had to show him.

"Uncle Bobby's birthday present, you have to see it."

"The one of you and Conner, it is a beautiful painting."

"Well Bobby has added to it, it wasn't finished, and he did it the other
day."

We went into the house and I found the magnifying glass while Mitch looked
at it. He gasped.

"That's not Conner, it's me."

"My god so it is, he must have touched it up again. It is you, he's psychic
you know, and very good at it, look." I handed him the glass and pointed to
the little sign.

He read it then re-read it then looked at me and shook his head.

"How did he know?"

"I told you, he's psychic."

He blew his breath out and held my hand.

"Let's go up to the bluff, I want to see it in the sunshine."

"Okay."

We got out of the car and Mitch said to me,

"Take my hand Cody."

"Sure baby."

He walked me past the safety fence over to the seat and read the plaque
again.

"I love you little brother and I miss you." He kissed his hand and put it
on the sign. I turned around and gasped.

"My God."

"What's wrong?"

"Look at the clouds." I pointed to the fluffy white clouds, there were
thousands of seagulls flying around in them and they looked so
beautiful. Mitch smiled from ear to ear then he picked me up in a bear hug
and kissed me deeply and I felt really loved. He was like a little kid. He
started waving to the birds and laughing. He ran back and forth along the
fence screaming at the clouds, my eyes teared up at this awesome sight.

I told Mitch about the bluff being owned by my dads and they had given it
to us and about their offer to build us a house and he was blown away but
like me he wanted the bluff left undisturbed for awhile. It was our place
and his little brother was there every time we went to visit. It was
something we will never stop doing.



A few days later, on the Thursday, Mitch had to run the gauntlet. That
means he had to meet my nana, that wonderful person I grew to rely on so
much when growing up. She was Luke, Mike and Dan's mum and my nana. Her
smells, at night, made me feel safe too. Violets were her favorite flower
and I always took a small posy to her and she would put them in our special
vase. I had given it to her one Christmas and she and Pop's room smelt of
lavender every time I visited. But it wasn't only about me. Conner and I
slept with them from the very start. We had so much fun, she would read us
stories and I remember we hung onto every word she spoke. She was as gentle
as she was tough. Now Mitch gets to know her, God help him.



We pulled up in the driveway, no horses waiting at the gate for us nowadays
just this wonderful rosy-cheeked nana on their porch. I ran up and hugged
her; she was tiny so I was careful not to squeeze her too tight.

"Nana this is Mitchell, Mitchell my nana."

"Pleased to meet you Mrs. Lawrence."

"Welcome Mitchell, give nana a hug, handsome, then you can help me make the
tea, we need to talk."

"Gulp."

"Oh it's not hard son, we just boil the kettle and pour the hot water into
the pot. Cody and Dan are coming up the drive and I always have a pot on
for them, well don't just stand there, nana needs a drink." She laughed.

"Yes Mrs. Lawrence."

"Nana."

"Eh?"

"Call me nana."

"Yes nana." Mitch was confused, I giggled behind my hand, she is so loving
this.

"You're a handsome devil Mitchell, Cody is very lucky to find you; I
thought he would never get himself a man."

"No, nana, I'm very lucky to have Cody, very lucky."

"That's it, now pour it in the teapot and pop the lid on, we will let it
stand for a bit."

"Cody darling, could you get the cups and saucers please?"

"Yes nan."

Dan and Codes came in then hugged and kissed her and asked where Mike and
Conner were.

"Oh they went into town to get some things for Mitchell here."

"For me nan?"

"Yes darling boy."

"Mum stop that," Dan said.

"Stop what son?"

"Winding Mitch up, I know what you're doing."

Cody laughed and said,

"Go on, let him have it."

"I don't know what you mean Cody Mitchell or is it Lawrence, bubby have you
married this wonderful boy yet?"

"Mum stop it, you know full well Cody and I can't get married."

"Why not son, it's those bloody Liberal's fault isn't it, tea Cody my boy?"

"I'll get it mum, you go sit down. Mitch do you want coffee or tea?"

"Coffee thanks Mr.Mitchell."

"Anyway as I was saying, the boys have gone into town to get Mitch a
special present."

"Okay I'll ask nana, what present?" I asked.

"Well, a welcome present, that's it, a welcome to the family present." She
was really fucking loving this.

"And?"

"And what Dan?"

"Punch line mum, out with it."

She moved next to Mitch and looked up at him.

"Well its sort of a welcome present but more of a survival kit."

"What nan?"Mitch had to ask.

"Oh stuff you probably didn't think to bring with you that's all."

Mitch by now was sitting and his legs were shaking.

"Just some lube, condoms, a vibrator and a harness, yes that's it. I don't
suppose you brought your jock straps boys; the barn's been pretty quiet
nowadays?" She shrieked with laughter, Mitch went bright red and when it
caught up to him he looked like he was going to crawl under the table but
he did manage.

"Codes help."

I couldn't help; I was too busy laughing and tears dripped from my eyes and
Squirts.

"That's the best one yet mum, what a crack up," he finally got out.

Mitch didn't look happy so nan went over to him and said,

"Welcome to the mad house you gorgeous hunk. Be good to my grandson or I'll
get Dan to hunt you down." She shrieked. Mitch started shaking his head,
he's not used to happy families but I think he got it.

"She loves a joke Mitch, you are going to be laughing for the next three
days so don't overdo it on the first day otherwise you won't get through
it." He started laughing and got up to hug nan.



We hit the barn not long after just to have a look and no we didn't play
long cause I think Mitch missed nana.

"She's so funny Codes, I love her already."

"We all do Mitch, she's the family's rock, ask her to do anything and she
will find a way to get it done."

"Quite a lady, where are Mike and Conner?"

"Doing tours Mitch but they will be back soon."



"Help me with the carrots Mitch, which one would you prefer, this size or
this size?" She held up two identical, huge carrots, Mitch was laughing his
ass off.

"Neither, you got any Zucchinis?

"Of course but we better hide the one you want, Cody and Dan always take
the biggest ones." Roaring with laughter I looked at dad and he was in
fits, the peas he was shelling went everywhere.

"Knock, knock." It was Luke and Jamie; they kissed everyone and hugged nan.



"Oh son, I am so glad you're here, I want to talk privately with you later
if I could?"

"Sure mum, is something wrong?" He pushed her hair in place gently, I
detected he really was feeling her forehead.

"We can talk later darling, I have a very worrying problem I want you to
look at, is my temperature okay?"  She winked at me.

"Oh mum, we can do that now, what is it, yes it's fine." Luke was
concerned.

"Well if the boys don't mind I suppose we could do it here." She bent over
the table and winked at Mitch.

"Could you look at my piles, they are acting up."

"Mum!!" Luke screamed. The laughing didn't die down until Con, Rob and Mike
showed up, poor Nan she's going to damage something one day, she shook so
much. Uncle Luke sulked, Mike looked at us all and said,

"She's been at it again hasn't she and my guess is it was directed at
Lukey.... again?"

"Uncle Mike, this is Mitch, Pop meet Mitch." They shook hands and Mitch
looked at Luke then Mike, he saw a resemblance but they were pretty
different twins like Conner and I. Then he said something way out there, he
was trying to fit in.

"I guess Jamie lucked out and got the whiney twin." The room went silent,
Mitch went red again and Luke said,

"Jamie got the better twin and I'm not whiney, do you hear me Mitchell, not
whiney at all." He started banging on the table laughing then he hugged
Mitch to pieces.

"I love you sons, you both crack me up," Nan said to Luke and Mitch. She
looked at dad Cody and chuckled.

"What's the matter Squirt did I pinch your favorite punch line?" Cody
shrieked so much he took Dan's hand and they went to sit outside for
awhile.



We had a very pleasant stay. Mitch rode horses so each day we saw a
different part of the forest that bordered the farm. We made love by a
secluded stream whenever we had the chance, our meals were country and nan
and Aunty Deb made all sorts of food for the backpackers and campers that
stayed at the farm. We used dad's old caravan to sleep in, they bought it
when Dan was doing his Australian campaign across the country. We went with
them but I don't remember much, only that I was hot. They had stored it at
pop and nan's place and they in turn rented it out. There were backpackers
working the farm for cheap lodgings and Uncle Mike had a good business
going. He had a chain of tour desks dotted throughout the country and did
very well.

We showered in the toilet block, it was spotless and I took great delight
in perving on the French boys that were there. Sometimes they showered
together when the stalls were full, my, oh my!

Mitch fit in beautifully and by the time we left he was another member of
our large family. Rob did the welcome speech and Mitch was touched.



******

We sat on our porch at home and talked about our time at the farm. Mitch
couldn't wait to get back there. He'd had such a good time. He told me he
was dropping his psychology classes all together. He really didn't
understand most of it and was only doing it because he was looking for
answers. His football career will carry him financially and there was no
need for him to work. He thanked me a million times. Oh, not so much in
words, his gentle touches said it all. I was still confused as to what I
wanted to do. My grades were very good but more and more I was leaning
towards the foundation; it would be good working with my dads.

We went to the bluff several times a week; it now had become a good place
for us, Mitch especially. Sometimes we would eat up there and sometimes
just sit and watch the stars. We talked about everything, our parents, our
relationship and made plans for the future. Mitch would even go for a walk
along the fence. I knew he was secretly telling Jimmy how he was feeling.



"Thank you Cody, thirteen years of agony and I now see I had it wrong all
that time. I miss him and I feel him here with us. It's a happy feeling I
have inside now. I wish dad could at least have some of it."

"He will Mitch, give it time."

"I just hope so, that's all." He hung his head.



On one balmy, warm evening we arrived with the picnic basket in tow. The
breeze was cool up there and I wanted to make out with my man. We walked
towards the seat but then I noticed two people sitting on it, as we got
closer Mitch said,

"Mum, dad?"

"Oh Mitch, we were hoping to see you here at some stage, how are you?"

"I'm good mum; this is my boyfriend, Cody Lawrence; Cody, my parents, Ros
and Michael." I shook both their hands and thought, now I know where Mitch
gets his looks from, his dad, not as muscled but just as handsome. We sat
with them.

"How did you know about the seat mum?"

"I think you should ask Cody that son." She lightly smiled as I blushed.

"Well I thought he might have had something to do with it."

"It's peaceful here, now isn't it Michael?" Ros asked.

He didn't say anything just nodded. He didn't hug his son and he didn't
look at him, and I thought, well it's now or never.



"Mitch why don't you take your mum's hand and show her the fence?" I
indicated to him to give us some time together. Luckily, he was on the same
page.

He took his mum's hand and they walked the length of the safety fence then
I saw Mitch fold her into his arms and hug her, I also heard them laugh.



"Sounds like they're having a good time Michael."

"Yeah, Mitch has always got on with his mum, they understand each other."
He looked their way.

"You don't get along with him?"

"He's my son and I love him. I'm so proud of what he's achieved in his
young life, but he has sort of shut me out, so anything to do with his life
I hear from his mother. I guess I deserved it," he said sadly.



"Oh I don't see it like that Michael. Mitch talks about you all the time
but I must say he's less depressed and more at ease nowadays. He's changing
Mike and I definitely know he misses his father immensely." I sort of raved
on.

"I just don't know what to do anymore. My life is over, has been for years
now, I can't help him."



"Can I say something Mike?"

"Sure Cody."

"You just said three very important things in your last statement. You said
you loved him, you are proud of him and you shut him out, why?"

"I never said I shut him out, he shut me out."

I lifted my eyebrows, like dad does, all the way up and said,

"Oh sorry Mike, I thought you said you had shut him out."

I continued.

"For thirteen years a six year old boy blamed himself for his brother's
accident. He had the real story locked away in his brain and he truly
believed he had killed him. It wasn't at all what he had imagined and it's
not what you imagine either.  Please Mike read the second to last line and
try to believe that one simple, absolute fact.

He looked at me with tears in his eyes and turned to read that most
important line. He stared at it for ages then realized I had him by the
hand.

"You're safe now Michael. No one is going to hurt you and no one is going
to accuse you. They all know the real story and you have to believe your
son loves you, with all his heart. He needs you just as you need
him. Please don't shut him out anymore; you are missing something so
wonderful in your lives." My tears came swiftly.

"I had no idea he blamed himself for Jimmy's death Cody. I was too ashamed
to talk about it with him. Kids find a way of moving on." His head bowed.

"Yes that's probably true Mike but the way Mitch found was a nightmare for
him. He needed his dad; he loved his father and still does.



He went silent for awhile and Mitch had come back to the bench. I could see
Mike mulling over something, pretending he was looking at the ground. He
looked at the plaque then the sky then turned to Mitch.

"Can you bring me here again sometime son, just us two?" he whispered.

Mitch was silent. I think he just didn't know what to say.

"Can you son?" came a barely audible question.

"Of course I can poppa, sunset is the best time." It was now dark but I
could see a shiny patch on Mitch's cheeks, his brick walls collapsed right
in front of me.



"I will pick you up from work tomorrow if that's okay dad, no problem."
Mitch smiled.



Ros and Mike shared our picnic basket, there was little talk but I noticed
Mitch and Mike smiling at each other off and on.

"Oh my God look, he's smiling at us again." I jumped up and held my phone
out to take pictures.

My stars were on full display, the moon was a half one and it was
awesome. After many more photos we kissed and hugged then Mike and Ros
started walking over to their car.

"Take my hand dad?" Mitch asked.

Mike did and when he looked at me I detected a small smile as he shook his
head from side to side and said to Mitch,

"He's something else son, hang on to that one."

"Oh I'm in for the long haul dad, did he tell you his dads gave him this
land?"

"No son, are you going to build here Cody?"

"No Mike, this is our special place, I actually would like to open it to
the public again but I will leave that decision to you, Mitch and Ros."

Mitch's mum smiled.

More hugs and we departed for home.



"You awake Codes?"

"Umm yes I am now."

"Thank you for everything."

"It's my pleasure baby, go back to sleep."

Silence.

"Codes do you feel like sucking me off?'

"Ummm," I said as I slipped down the bed.

"Codes, uh Codes, oh codes." Pure joy was all I heard tonight.