Date: Sat, 01 Oct 2005 06:43:37 +0000
From: Jeff STL <jeffstl@hotmail.com>
Subject: Office Fantasy / Chapter 15

Sorry everyone!  Things in my life had sort of erupted into a nasty
situation not unlike Jesse and his (ex) wife.  Luckily, my situation
has resolved itself better than his, but all the same, I have hardly
been in a mood to write.  Thanks for all who have shared concern.
I'd rather not go into detail, but I'll tell you all that all is
well again.

Chapter 15

I nearly jump out of my skin.  Catching my breath, I say "Scott!!
You scared the shit out of me!  I thought you went to work!"

Standing up in the shadows, Scott says again "I asked you who the
fuck that is?"

Immediately the defenses kick in.  "Hey, first of all, I don't
appreciate the tone, buddy boy.  Secondly, it was a friend of mine
from work, and thirdly, I thought you went to work, and you're not
my father, so I don't know why I feel the need to defend myself!"  I
stomp off to the kitchen, deciding to make that drink something
stronger than just water!

Scott follows me.  "Well, maybe I just thought that we had something
going, and you're talking to somebody else about a relationship!"

I wheel around and jump back a step, not realizing how close he is
to me.  "We do have something going, man, but we've only been
together a couple of times.  I didn't realize we were married."

His face goes from anger to incredulous.  "You asshole." he says,
shaking his head.  "I didn't realize just how self-centered you are,
Jesse.  Maybe it's best I find this out NOW."  And with that, he
stalks toward the door.  "Oh, and to answer your question, I came
back in because I forgot this."  he says as he holds up his
briefcase.  And he's out the door, slamming it behind him.

I stand there, holding my drink, trying to figure out what just
happened.  I go over the events in my mind.  Let's see, we met, had
a couple of dinners, I moved in, we slept together once or
twice....How is it that it's "serious" already?  I inwardly shrug
and head back to my bedroom, closing the door.  I strip down the
rest of the way and climb into the cool sheets.  As I stare at the
turning celing fan above me, I visualize Mark and Scott in a weird
tug-of-war.  I really feel lousy about what I've done.  What is it
you've done? a voice asks.  Well, I led them on.  Did you?  Sure!
Why didn't I?   Have you pledged love to them?  Have you said you'd
be monogamous?  Did you REALLY sleep with them?  "Shut up." I say
out loud, and drift to sleep.

The next morning, I'm at the breakfast table, ready for work.  Scott
stumbles into the kitchen, wearing just pajama bottoms.  Dang he's
built nicely.  "Hey" he says, a little sheepishly.

"Morning" I say cooly.

"Uhh...Jesse.  I'm sorry about blowing my top last night." he says,
as he sits down.  "I guess being cheated on has made me a little
overly-sensitive."

I study his face for a moment.  Blue.  Those eyes are SO blue.
Smiling, I tell him "It's cool.  But I'll tell you that Mark is a
guy that sort of shared a moment before we met, and some things
happened, and to be honest, I'm not really sure how I feel about him
yet.  BUT, I also need to say that you and I are still also very
new, and I wasn't really sure what we had, you know?"

He nods, considering.  "Yeah, I guess I had us pretty much partnered
without really discussing it.  Truce?"  He reaches his very nicely
muscled arm over.

I shake his hand, smiling.  "Truce.  Now, I have to get to work.
Get back to bed...you look exhausted."  He smiles, and agrees and
lumbers back toward his room.  I thought I heard him come in around
4:00am.

Upon arrival to work, I discover some people standing around Vic's
cubicle.  I slow my pace as I listen to them talk.  It's his
managing supervisor and a couple of people from his team.  They're
talking about what to do about his project.  I walk over to my
teammate who is faxing something, and ask what's up.

"Oh hey, Jess.  Yeah, seems they've discontinued Vic's contract.
Apparently he got some guy in trouble over in the other building,
and it got to his manager that he was causing trouble and they let
him go."

Stunned, I walk back to my desk.  My voicemail light is blinking.  I
dial in, enter my passcode.  On the message is a voice, sobbing...

"Jesse, it's me.  They fired me, man.  That son-of-a-bitch Vic
reported me, and they fired me!  I don't know what I'm going to do,
man!  I need that job!  Please call me."  and the line goes dead.
Shocked again, I quickly dial his cell number.

"Mark, it's me, what's up?"

More calmly, he answers "Hey.  I just can't believe this.  They
fired me because Vic told them I'm fucking around in the bathrooms.
I mean, it was his word against mine, and they fired me for it!"

"Well, I just found out they let him go, too, Mark." I reply, hoping
it'd help him feel at least a little better.

"Oh.  Well, he deserves it."

"Mark, please...tell me something.  Why?  Why HIM?" I ask.

Mark sighs.  "OK, the truth."  He sighs again.  "The truth is, I'm
seriously in love with him.  I know, I know, he's married, and all
that, but we've been going out for awhile now.  My ex-wife found out
about it while we were still together, and called HIS wife and told
her everything.  Naturally, she freaked as well, and kicked him out
of the house.  My wife got back at me by fucking my brother.  Well,
I guess he wanted to get back at me, so he decided to screw around
with you.  I saw you guys come out of the bathroom, and I knew.  He
saw me and gave me a look like "take that.""

"Anyway, I confronted him, and that's why he turned on you that day
because I told him he'd better end it or I'd out him at work.  I saw
him do that to you that day I introduced myself.  So, I decided a
little getting even would be good for me, so, I talked you into
going with me."

My hand is shaking the receiver, I'm so angry at this point.  I was
a fucking pawn in their game?!  Trying to stay calm, I force my
voice to work.  "Mark, you came to Arizona after me, and you have
been asking me..."

He cuts me off.  "I know!  I know what you're thinking, but it only
started out that way.  I found myself really attracted to you, and
I..."  CLICK

I hang up the phone.  I don't want to hear any more from him.  A
PAWN!  They BOTH USED ME!  My eyes are darting back and forth across
my computer screen, but the words might as well be Sanskrit because
I forgot how to read.  The phone rings, and it's him.  I ignore it,
wiping my hands on my pants.  I got DIVORCED because of him!
Why...?  How...?  I can't even form the questions.

Daniel walks by, notices my livid state, and stops.  "Jess?  Are you
ok?"

In a whisper, I say "No.  I'm not."  I walk to the bathroom,
stiffly, my body not wanting to cooperate with my brain.  I go into
the stall and toss up my entire breakfast.  When my stomach calms, I
turn around, drop my drawers and sit, having a full-blown anxiety
attack.  Finally, after a few moments, my blood stops pounding
through my veins, my vision focuses, and I return to normal
breathing.  Collecting myself, I stand up, return to dressed state,
and flush.  My cell phone gives a short single vibrate.  I look and
there's three messages and missed calls.  Amazing, I never felt or
heard it go off.  They're all from Mark.  Turning it off, I make my
way back to my desk.  Daniel steps out of his office and calls me
in.  Great, just what I don't need.

"Jesse, I'm worried about you.  You look like you've seen a ghost,
and I am no expert, but I think something is up.  Do you need to
take some more time off?  You're a good worker, Jesse, but I got to
be honest, you've not exactly been yourself and it's starting to
show.  You just skipped a meeting regarding this weekends' release,
and ..."

"Screw the release" I say harshly cutting him off.  "I don't need
this shit." and I get up and walk out of his office.  Sitting down
in my chair, I stare at the screen.  Daniel walks up.  Gently, he
says "Jesse, I think you better call the number on here, ok?" and he
lays the sheet next to my keyboard.  I pick it up and notice its for
the Employee Assistance Program.  A form.  A mandatory order to
call.  Great.  I stare at the sheet for a few minutes then figure,
why not?  Going into a conference room, I call the number and they
ask me the standard questions of am I in danger of hurting myself or
anyone else.  After assuring them I'm not about to hurt anyone, they
line me up with a psychologist.  As luck would have it, Dr. Susan is
on their plan, and they set me up for 20 visits.

I return to our area, and walk into Daniel's office.  "I called" I
say bluntly.  "And I'm taking a couple of days off.  I got some days
left."

Daniel nods.  "OK, Jesse.  Take them.  But you'll need to pull some
overtime to get caught up when you're better."

Without giving an answer, I return to my computer, set up my "out of
office" message, and leave.  As I am walking away, I notice my
voicemail light is blinking again.  Screw it.  Out of the building I
go, and start driving.  I crank up my classical music CD, which
helps me relax when I'm tense, and roll the windows down.  If I
can't hear, I won't be able to think about what I've just learned.
My appointment with Dr. Susan is tomorrow, so I have to deal with
this alone today.

I get home, and Scott's gone.  I guess he's working again.  I make
my way into the kitchen, and sure enough, there's some good booze
under the counter.  I'm not much of a drinker, but right now, I
figure I'm home, I'm throwing caution to the wind, and I'm going to
drink until I pass out.  After about 1/2 of the bottle, for some
reason I decide I should be naked at this point, and I'm sure I
somehow got my own clothes off, because they're in a pile and how
else would they get there?  The next thing I know, it's dark, and
someone's talking to me in a gentle voice.  How nice of them.

"Come on Jesse, let go of the door.  Come on, let's go to your
room."  I feel a hand on my forearm, and I'm grasping something hard
and cold, and round...the doorknob?

My brain reroutes traffic and finally the signal arrives to my hand
to let go, and I feel warm hands on on each side of me, guiding me.
Some mystical force gets my feet to move, and another weird force of
nature keeps tilting the room from side to side.  Finally, soft,
warm...my bed.  Covers pulled over me.

"There you go buddy, get some rest now." Scott's voice says from
somewhere in the cosmos.

LIGHT!  Rude light!!  Some birds, irritatingly cheerful outside the
window, chirping and singing like there was something good in life.
A soft knock on the door and Scott pokes his head in.

"Hey guy, you awake?"

I groan, and immediately regret it as my head nerves inform my brain
of pain!  "Who ran me down?"

Scott chuckles.  "Well, judging by the empty broken bottle of Jack
Daniels by the front door, I'd say it was your own doing."

Broken?  "What do you mean 'broken'?"  I ask, wishing those damned
birds would quit SCREAMING.

"Well, near as I can tell, you drank the entire bottle, threw it at
the door, were buck naked for reasons unknown.  I came home and
found all of this, and so I covered you up on the couch, and let you
sleep.  A couple of hours later, I heard you screaming something at
the top of your lungs, and you were trying to get out of the door,
but it was locked.   What did Mark do that makes you want to kick
his sorry ass, as you put it?"

Memory floods the brain, and I close my eyes against it.  But it's
still there.  "Mark is a huge prick and I never want to see him
again.  He fucking USED me to get back at someone, then tried to
sell me a line of shit about how he fell in love with me.  FUCK
him." I spit out, wishing I hadn't.

Scott's silent for a moment.  "I see.  Well, my prescription for
you, my friend, is to stay in bed until that monster of a hangover
dissipates, then you better reschedule your appointment."

My appointment!  "I gotta get up.  I have to see Dr. Susan at 11."

Scott laughs.  "Dude, it's 4:30....PM!"

"Holy shit.  I've never drank like this before.  My liver is
probably suing for abuse."

"Undoubtedly" Mark says wryly.  "Get some rest."

The bed tilts, and I fall back asleep, musing on the fact that when
I was in the hospital, I didn't feel this badly!

What seems like just a few minutes later, Scott's gently shaking my
shoulder.  "Jesse, wake up.  You have a call."

"I ain't talking to him!" I say, wishing he'd quit bugging me so I
could rest.

"Jess, it's your mom.  You need to take this."

The urgency in his voice wakes me up a little more.  I turn over and
meet his gaze.  Something's wrong.

"Hello?"

"Jesse!  Where have you been, I've been trying to call you all day
and you're not answering your cell phone, and I didn't know where to
reach you..."

"Mom!" I say, cutting her off.  "What is it?"

"Jesse, you need to get down to the hospital.  Your dad's had a
heart attack."

To be continued


Author's note:  OK, I'm not a drinker, so I have no idea if drinking
a whole bottle of Jack would be something you could survive or not.
I also have NO idea what a hangover feels like, so I'm guessing on
that too.  :)