Date: Sun, 15 Jan 2006 00:27:55 -0600
From: Jeff STL <jeffstl@hotmail.com>
Subject: Office Fantasy/Chapter 25

Sorry for the hiatus, guys.  I have been a little distracted and facing
writer's block.  Hopefully this chapter will bring back the creative juices
(as well as maybe a few others... <grin>)

CHAPTER 25

I jump awake.  Something has woken me up.  I lean up and peer at the alarm
clock.  4:15.  Gads, it's early.  What was it...WHOA.  The pain in my side
suddenly reaches my brain.  It's been a couple of weeks since I last felt
this.  That danged stone is still moving.  Sighing, and grasping my side
(which does NOTHING) I sit up, groaning.  The twisting knife in my ureter
takes a turn and I cry out in pain.  I stumble to the john, grabbing the
pain pills and not caring, down two of them.  I pace the bedroom, frustrated
and hurting.  I'm supposed to catch a plane in a few hours.  How the
hell....oh shit....it hurts.  Tears run down my face as I try to manage the
pain, but it isn't helping.  I have an irresistible urge to call my mother
and apologize for the 14 hours of labor I put her through.

Finally, I can take it no longer.  The pain is not subsiding.  I look at the
clock again.  Has it really been an HOUR?  Usually it subsides by now.
Desperate for relief, I stumble to the phone and dial the person who lives
closest.

"Jesse?!" Mom's voice answers, urgency in her speech.  "What is it?"

For a moment, I'm surprised, but then I realize..duh...Caller ID.

"Mom" I croak out. "Help me...please."

"What is it, babe?  Your stone?"  I hear Dad's voice in the background,
asking questions.

"Mom, it won't stop hurting.  I took...gasp...two pain pills about an hour
ago, it won't stop...please...I need..." I bite down...unable to finish.

"We're on our way, honey.  Try to hang on."  She hangs up without waiting
for my response.  I grab shorts and a t-shirt, and my sandals, and hurriedly
get dressed.  I ease my way down the stairs and sit near the front door on
the floor.  I beg for their arrival.

Finally, after an eternity (ok, 10 minutes), I hear a car outside, followed
by some quick footsteps.  I haul myself up and paw open the door.  Amazing
how such pain can make you clumsy and awkward.  Dad comes in, hauls me up,
and putting my arm over his shoulder, helps me to the car.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry" I keep repeating.  Mom "shushes" me, wiping my
face.  Dad stuffs me into the back seat, and Mom jumps in.  She tries to
hold me, but it's too hard to sit still, so she does the best she can.
Every bump again hurts, and finally after an eternity (Ok, 10 more minutes),
we pull up in front of the ER.  This feels very familiar.

They haul me into the ER, and without delay, begin to administer some pain
meds.  I'm not sure what they shoot me up with, but after a few minutes, I'm
floating.  I hear them say that they want to admit me.  I try to protest,
saying I have a plane to catch.  Dad looks at me with one eyebrow and says
"You can just forget about that for now."

I drift in and out of sleep.  Upon my waking, the sun is out and I look at
the clock on my hospital room wall.  11:13am.  I missed my plane.  I stretch
and sigh, wondering exactly what's going on now.  I press the nurse's call
button, and after a few minutes, a pleasant young lady walks in.

"Yes sir, can I help you?"

"Yeah, what's going on with me?  Last I remember, I was having a major pain
attack."

She consults my chart.  "Ah yes.  I just came on, but it looks like you have
a kidney stone, which I guess you already knew.  They did a CAT scan on you,
and it's very close to the bladder.  You should be about ready to pass it
any time now.  That's what it says here, anyway."

Wow.  It's about time!

"Are you in any pain?"

"No, not at the moment." I answer truthfully.

"Well, good.  We're going to keep you here for a bit just to see how you do,
and if you don't have any more pain in a couple of hours, we'll probably
send you on home.  Of course, that'll be up to the doctor.  Excuse me."  She
smiles and whisks out of the room.

I take a look around.  Standard IV, nothing else seems to be amiss.  I sit
up, feeling a little light headed from the medication.  I notice a plastic
urinal on the bed, and decide I need to relieve myself.  Maybe this damned
thing will pass today.  I'm still nervous about it's final journey,
but...they assure me it's painless.  Yeah, right.  Putting the urinal under
the blanket, I pull my dick out of my underwear and stick it on in.  I have
to force my stream to start.  Dang those nervous muscles.  I just know
someone's going to walk in.

And sure enough, in walks Mom.

"Mom!  I'm kinda..."

"Oh, Jesse, please.  You used to pee with the door wide open to the
bathroom." she says, chuckling.  I'm glad she finds amusement in my
embarrassment.  I quickly finish, and snap the lid on.

"Yeah, but I was EIGHT!"

"Whatever.  How are you feeling, sweetie?"  She's getting a real kick out of
this.

"I'm fine.  I guess.  I don't hurt now."  To prove me wrong, a slight twinge
hits the base of my dick, or what FEELS like the base.  Not painful mind
you, just annoying.

"Well, good.  I'm sorry you had to miss your trip."

Oh man!  Kevin!  What is he going to think?

An older man walks in.  "I'm Doctor Wolters.  I'm a urologist on staff here.
  They referred me to your case."  He shakes my hand.

"So, how are you feeling?"

I describe the twinge I just had and relate to him that I'm no longer
hurting.

"Well, that's good!  That means the stone is probably in your bladder, and
the worst part is over.  How about if we let you go home?"

I sigh.  "OK, doc.  If you think that the pain won't return."

"Well, we only saw the one stone, so if it's in your bladder, the rest is
easy.  We'll get you signed out."

Two hours later, I'm back at home. I keep having twinges there, which is a
weird feeling.  It's not horrible, but like I said....annoying.  It shoots
right up my dick.  I decide I need to call Kevin and explain.  Luckily, he's
understanding.

"No problem, man!  I mean, you gotta take care of yourself.  Unfortunately,
I'm going to be in Washington for the next two weeks working on a deal with
the government.  I'm hoping to get some government funding, but it's not
going to be easy convincing those conservative guys that this is a worthy
cause."

"Well, no problem," I reply.  "I will do what I can.  How about if you send
me the literature and I'll look it over?"

"Sounds good.  My partner will get everything together that you need and
mail it out."

My heart sinks.  His partner.  He's with someone.  Well, so much for THAT
idea.

"Great!" I put some enthusiasm into my voice.  "I'll look forward to it and
we'll talk soon.  Bye."

Hanging up, with a sigh, I begin to realize that this dating thing is a
complicated thing.  It was so easy when I courted Leslie.  Of course, we met
in college, and I'm not exactly in the dating pool, so to speak.

Two days later, I'm taking a piss, using a plastic cup to pee into so I can
strain the urine, and finally the little bugger shoots out.  Sure enough, I
didn't even feel it.  Just a brief interruption of my stream, following by a
click as it hit the side of the cup.  Amazing that such a tiny piece of
grain could cause such agony.  I pour the urine through the strainer, which
is so fine, you can't even see through it.  I dump the stone into a small
pill bottle I had kept, and immediately called the urologist for an
appointment.  They'll analyze it to see what it's made of which will help
them know what caused it.  Relief floods through me to realize that this
ordeal is now over.

I decide to have a celebratory bowl of cookies 'n' cream ice cream.  As I'm
enjoying it, the phone rings.

"Hello?"

"Uh, hi, Jesse?"  A familiar voice says.

"Yeah?"

"Hey man, how's it going?"

"It's going fine.  How are you...Mark?"

To be continued....

OH what a tangled web I weave...  :-)