Date: Mon, 24 Oct 2011 16:49:44 -0700 (PDT)
From: Dave Ledge <mikedave01@yahoo.com>
Subject: Older and Younger 15

Sorry for the long intro, but no other place to start this part. I rewrote
some of the intro, too, since I finished the last chapter too late at
night.  Grin. And I'll change the quotation marks, which didn't work this
time for some reason... Hope you enjoy this one, too!  Let me know if you did
at Mikedave01@yahoo.com.  Couple more things, before we get back to what's
happening in West Texas at Christmas.  First of all, if you can support
this site financially please help out.  Secondly, can I just say that I
feel that it is an honor to be able to write for you (all)?  I know by now
that thousands of guys have read my work.  I know lots of those guys have
gotten off to the stories, too. Grin again. I had a new fan write from East
Africa.  Know I have fans in Europe and Asia, too! Grin. Can't tell you the
kind of deep pleasure all of this gives me.  Hugs to all!  This is a very
long chapter filled with lots of emotions.  I think the next chapter may be
the last, finally!  Guess we'll see.

"The TV stars got out of Jorge's and Chuck's shuttle van.  Surprise?  Not.
Who else would have the honor of driving them, but two of the owners of
this incredible place?  And the fact that they were young, adorable, and
cute...?  Grin. The stars came into what was now the reception/lobby of the
main house.  Jon and I prepared to greet them before anyone else since Jon
had set up their visit.

And then everyone yelled, `Merry Christmas!' I had forgotten today was
Christmas!  Unbelievable.  I hadn't even gone to church, not even thought
about it!  Jon gave me a quick kiss, which told me that we'd make up for
forgetting soon.  OK.  That's what we'd have to do then.  No choice now.
Still!  Anyway, what happened next made me forget totally about forgetting
Christmas!

To my ultimate astonishment, my `counterpart' on the TV show came up to me,
running, gave me a huge hug and a huge kiss!  I think I gasped!

He smiled and said, `We are so going to be best friends!' I know I looked
gape-mouthed and stupid.  He laughed.  He looked at me more closely.

`Hmm, maybe best friends with benefits'

He laughed again. I saw Jon in what looked like a difficult conversation
with the other TV guy, his cousin, who certainly did look him.  They didn't
look happy, but did look like they understood each other.

The two TV guys soon were whisked upstairs to the room Jon and I had had
until today.

At this point I was sort of at a loss.  I had missed Christmas.  I had just
had a weird meeting with a celebrity I hadn't even heard of until last
week.  WTF was going on here? Chaz looked at me and tried to comfort me.

`Mark', he said. `Everyone's here. Everyone has arrived. No cancellations.
The fact that the TV stars are here will leak out very carefully.  I don't
want to tempt fate but I think we're going to make serious money and set up
this place for profit for a long time!'

Claudio remained unconvinced by Chaz's optimism and took Jon and me aside
and took us outdoors then.  `What do you smell and feel? You told me this
afternoon you could feel the snow coming.  So now what do you feel?' he
asked.

We laughed at him, and the notion that we were some kind of `weather gods',
but we both agreed that we thought the snow would hold off until tomorrow.

He nodded, pleased.  `If you have weather control, let the snow happen
tomorrow night at 10 in evening.'

Jon and I laughed again.  As if we could do that!

We both were happy to go back to bed then.  And did Teddy let us know that
he had set up our pillows and mints earlier?  Yep.  He left us both a note
in real handwriting.  He wrote, `My Daddies, I am leaving you a token of my
love tonight and I know you will give me many back tomorrow night!'

LOL!

Despite laughing at Teddy's outrageousness and believing Chaz's words, I
was still unsure about so many things, if not about my man and our
love... I gave him a quick reassuring smile, which he returned.

Hmmm...

I guess we'll be talking to the TV stars tomorrow. I really want to know
what that big hug and kiss was all about.  Why did the guy single me out?
How did he even know who I was?  Inquiring minds want to know!  I mean
seriously!

Our time with Teddy is approaching rapidly very soon, too, as he hasn't
hesitated to let us know!

Anyway, all that is for tomorrow! Sleeping with my man now! Night all!"

Jon and I woke to our next to last day at the Ranch.  I became sad thinking
about that.  Jon looked over at me and noted my expression.  He reached
over and pulled me into his arms and kissed me softly.  I nestled into his
big, hairy, body.

"We'll be back, Mark, my love," he said quietly. "More than once of course,
too! We have so much invested hereÑand not only our money, but also
ourselves, even our souls.  Our love was first declared here.  In fact, if
Texas permitted gay marriage, I'd want us to finally get married here."

He looked at me with his sweet and loving eyes and smiled the smile I loved
so much. My eyes brimmed with tears.  Damn, I love this man!  I didn't even
mind he read my mind again!

I snuggled into his arms and just had him hold me, until I had to piss.
Grin.

I had just come back into the bedroom after doing my business when, you
guessed it!ÑTeddy entered the room without knocking, bringing a breakfast
tray!

He took one look at me, naked, walking back from the bathroom, and Jon,
naked, lounging in bed, and announced, "Damn, Daddies, I'm hard already!"
He made an exaggerated gesture, pointing at his crotch, and damn if he
wasn't telling the truth!  Ah youth!  LOL.

And as he flat out ogled both Jon and me and stroked his cock, I remembered
what a tiger he had been in bed and how beautiful he had been, riding my
cock like the cowboy he was, and started to get hard, too.

Jon noticed my expression again and saw my rapidly hardening cock and
laughed out loud.  "That good, huh?" he asked.

I know I must have blushed scarlet.  This time I was not glad he could read
my mind!

Teddy laughed his very wicked laugh.  He came over to me and pulled me into
our bed with him, placing himself between naked Jon and me!  His hands
roamed over our bodies as we tried not to writhe in pleasure.  He grabbed
our equally hard cocks and gave us some strokes as he purred in pleasure.

"I can't decide if I have died and gone to heaven or was just allowed into
the candy shop and told I can have whatever I want. And I know I'm
overdressed for the occasion; but sigh, I really do have to get back to
work.  So," he said, squeezing our hard cocks, "I'll have to take a rain
check until tonight.  Daddies", he said, releasing our throbbing cocks and
grabbing our hands and covering his super hard crotch with them, "save it
up until tonight.  No cumming today!  You'll be glad you waited!  Oh, and
Daddies, don't plan on getting much sleep tonight.  I've been waiting for
your return visit (pointing at me) for far too long and Daddy (pointing at
Jon), you'll finally get to sample what your lover remembers so fondly and
I'll finally get to have your hunky, Daddy, huge muscle bear body give me
what I want, too!  Yum!"

With that he reached over and gave each of us a quick deep throat kiss of
such passion as to take our breath away.  He bounced out of bed and started
to leave the room.

"Oh," he said over his shoulder, "Eat up and get decent.  Our celebrities
have asked to meet each of you separately as soon as you're up and moving.
And why separately?" He shook his head in confusion.  "Bets are being
placed as I speak!" He laughed wickedly again, and bounded out of the room.

Jon and I did look at each other with questions in our expressions then.

We ate up, as Teddy told us to, and got dressed.  We decided to go with
"cowboy business informal"--tight, well-fitting jeans, slightly loose dress
shirts partially unbuttoned, boots and unbuttoned suit jackets, no hats.

I thought Jon looked hot.  His leer right back at me told me what he
thought of me, too!  Slight blush this time...

As we entered the salon from the stairs, Chuck met us to direct us to
different rooms to meet with the stars.

Jon was directed into his room before I was.  Wow, he and the TV star did
look a lot alike!  Guess that's not too surprising since they are cousins,
even if distant cousins.  His cousin had a grave and worried expression.
He gave Jon a quick hug and the two retreated into the room speaking rapid
Spanish.  Oh yeah, forgot about the fact that both were native
Spanish-speaking.  Jon's English is also native, so I tend to forget about
his Spanish at times.  And since I'm just starting to learn Spanish, I'd
certainly have been left out of that conversation!

Well, having the two of them meet separately made sense, but what did the
other star want with me?  I followed Chuck's cute butt down the hall to
another room farther along the corridor.  I experienced a quick moment of
regret that Jon and I had run out of time to repeat our quality time with
Chuck and Jorge.  Oh well.  Guess that's what next times are for?  Right?

However as soon as we reached the other room, all of those thoughts were
quickly forgotten. As soon as he saw me, the other star leaped up to greet
me.  He pulled me into a clinch, put his face against mine, and burst into
tears!  WTF?

I held him and tried to comfort him, but having no clue as to what was
going on here.  I felt like I had walked onto the set of some drama, but no
one had given me my lines.

He eventually ran down and was just quietly sobbing in my arms.  I
continued to stroke him and held him tight.  Had to admit he felt good,
too.  After Jon it was odd to hold someone who was the same size as me.
Not bad, just odd.  I got slightly hard from the physical contact.  He
noticed and I could tell that amused him and helped him finish calming
down.

"I'm sorry, Mark", he said.  "I didn't mean to be so dramatic and out of
control. But when I saw you finally, everything came to a head. Come on
into the parlor.  Let's sit down and talk and I'll try to explain what's
going on in a civilized manner.  And I do apologize for my presumption and
just assuming you'd be my best friend and help me.  But I think you're the
only person who can help me.  Maybe you and your Jon?"

Well, I didn't like the syntax in that last phrase, but I let it pass.

"I'm sorry", I said.  "I'm totally clueless.  It's like you know me.  You
certainly know my name and my partner's name anyway.  I guess you know we
represent the Ranch's donors.  But I don't know you.  In fact I didn't even
know you existed until last week when a bunch of young women mistook Jon
and me for you and Jack Walker at DFW.  Only then did I hear about your TV
series for the first time.  Jon explained who you both were then and told
me that Jack Walker was his cousin.  So you're `Don Reed', then?"

He nodded and said, "Yeah, and talk about two stupid as hell stage names!
Jack Walker sounds like some kind of cheap whisky and Don Reed sounds like
some kind of skinny adolescent!"

I did chuckle a bit at that statement.

"I did look at some clips from the show on the Internet after I heard you
guys were coming to open up the Ranch", I said.  "Pretty good show, I have
to admit.  While I'm not a TV fan, you guys are both really good actors.
The show is well filmed and I liked the writing, too.  Also liked the
strong buddy aspect to the show, too!" I grinned at him at that.  He lost
his tentative smile though, then, and his lip even trembled!  Not the
reaction I counted on!

He took a couple of deep breaths, got a hold on himself, and continued,
"Yeah, the show is making the network a bundle.  Anyway, I figure you know
Marcelo is Jack's real name.  Mine is Simon, Simon Noble.  Frankly I think
that'd make a much better stage number, but Hollywood is Hollywood.
Anyway, to cut the story short, Marcelo and I love each other.  Or at least
I believe we do.  I love him.  I've told him that many times.  I lust after
him incredibly, too. If you could see him in the shirtless scenes we have
to do together! Oh, I'm gay, by the way."

I nodded at all of these statements.  No surprises here.  Even from the
short glimpses I'd had of Marcelo, I had to admit he was very handsome and
attractive.  Even if he wasn't Jon, he looked an awful lot like the man who
had taken my heart.  I could see why this guy who really did look like my
younger brother would want a man like my Jon.  They would make a fine
couple, I thought, much like it seemed Jon and I did.

But then he started to cry again.

"I know he loves me.  The way he holds me.  The looks in his eyes...
Sometimes I can feel him getting hard when he holds me... But he says he's
straight and that's all there is to it! We can be friends. We can be best
buddies.  But we can't go to bed and `consummate' our love! I fucking can't
believe that.  I fucking can't believe him.  I know the fuck he is lying.
I know what he feels.  I can feel what he feels for Gods' sake!  Oh fuck,
oh fuck, oh fuck!"

And then the dam did burst again.  All I could do was hold him again.  I
didn't have a clue as to what else I could do or say.  While I didn't know
that many straight guys very well, I doubted that a completely straight guy
would want to ever have a gay relationship, even with someone as cute as
Simon.

He looked at me and said, "I know that Marcelo is not totally straight, no
matter what he tells himself." Geez, could everyone in the world read my
mind through my face?  "I know he loves me.  He just has to open up and let
himself become the person he really is inside."

He registered my continuing doubt.

"I hate to say it, but you and Jon are my last hope.  If I can't get him to
open up on this trip, I'll have to quit the show and hope to get another
gig and start over again."

What?

"Let me explain.  When Jon contacted Marcelo about coming to do the opening
as a personal favor for the family, I could tell Marcelo was hesitant about
coming to a gay resort.  I decided to convince him to do the opening as a
favor to me as well as the family.  He obviously knows I'm gay.  So, I told
him that his gay fans would love hearing about the visit, but that we'd be
sure only they did.  And yeah, security has been tight.  And you know what,
Mark?  I could tell he actually wanted to see what a gay resort was like,
deep inside.  I could tell he was secretly intrigued to experience what it
would be like to be with a big group of men who loved other men.  And,
Mark, that gave me hope.  So, I decided to learn more about the Ranch. I
got the prospectus for the Ranch from Claudio, using a false identity.  I
wanted to learn everything I could.  I looked for Jon's name in the
prospectus, but it wasn't there.  I finally contacted Claudio directly,
using my real identity.  I told him I was really interested in the Ranch
and I was interested in investing in it.  Grin.  You could hear the dollar
bills turning in his head.  He offered immediately to set me up as an
investor.  I demurred.  I said that I had heard that Marcelo's cousin, Jon
Perelmutter, was involved in the Ranch?  Claudio immediately responded that
Jon was a representative of a big group of donors who had helped bankroll
the Ranch's renovations and building.  I suggested that in the interest of
concealing my identity perhaps it would be better if I worked with him and
let him deal with my investment.  He agreed, if reluctantly.  He gave me
Jon's contact details."

He stopped for a moment to look at me.  He again accurately gauged my
reaction.

"Yes, Mark, I came to your town.  I met with Jon and explained who I was
and that I was interested in investing in the Ranch.  And did I do a double
take when I first met him and he shook my hand with his firm grip.  I
actually sprang a boner when he smiled at me!  But don't worry, Mark, while
he seems like a fabulous man and looks enough like Marcelo to make me ache,
I don't want him.  I want Marcelo.  However, when staying in your town, I
made some inquiries among people in the gay community there and found out
about you.  I know this sounds like I'm some kind of lurker, but I followed
you off and on for a few days.  I thought about just going into your office
to meet you as a prospective investor, but somehow didn't.  I did another
double-take when I first saw you close up though.  If Jon looked enough
like Marcelo to make me ache, you looked enough like me to make me wonder.
So, I decided to find out everything I could about you and Jon and the Marc
Foundation.  I had to get back to the set so I hired a private detective.
Don't hit me or hate me, Mark!"

And yes, both of those thoughts had gone through my head!

"When I read the detective's report and finally talked to him on the phone,
I cried for the first time since I had met Marcelo.  Mark, I learned about
Marc, your love, and his early death.  I learned about why the Foundation
had his name.  I heard about you and Jon.  Everyone in your town admires
your relationshipÑor is jealous of it!  But they all know that you truly
love each other.  And what you and Jon have is what I want with Marcelo.
So, I thought if he could see you and Jon and how happy you are together
that he might finally open up himself and allow himself to be as happy with
me as you guys clearly are with each other. Is that so wrong?  Can you
forgive me for invading your privacy?"

Despite myself, I nodded my head, yes.  I looked into his eyes and saw his
desperate pleading.  It was as if my younger brother had lost his best
friend and was asking me to help get him back.

"What do you want us to do?" I asked.

"Have lunch with us.  Joke and laugh at lunch.  Put Marcelo at his ease.
Then after lunch would you talk to him about how you feel about each other?
I can't ask any more than that.  Please?"

"I'll have to talk to Jon first.  But I think he'll go along, Simon."

His face broke out in a beautiful smile finally.  The clouds had cleared.
He really was good-looking then. I thought that if I did look like him,
hmmm...

I "tackled" Jon before lunch and we shared notes.  I gave him the outlines
of Simon's story, omitting his stalking and private detective.  I told him
Simon wanted us to put Marcelo at ease and then talk to him frankly about
our lives, our partnership, and our love.  I then asked him what Marcelo
and he had talked about.

He smiled ruefully.  "Pretty much the same thing, but from a different
angle.  It seems that Simon's `crush' on him has Marcelo worried to the
core.  Marcelo's a bit like me.  Like me (until I met you) he's never been
in love.  He's had great sex with women but, unlike me, never really
thought about having sex with a guy.  He certainly has never thought about
loving and being in love with a guy either.  Simon's `crush', as he calls
it, has really shaken him and his self-image, especially since I think he
might actually have real feelings for Simon, too. Those possible feelings
of real love, I think, are new to him and very troubling, especially since
they're for a guy... I mean, he knows I'm bisexual and has for some time. But
I think he always found that odd.  He couldn't quite wrap his head around
that.  Well, after meeting Simon, I could tell he has started to look at me
differently.  I could tell he was appraising me.  If a guy as big and macho
as he is would want to be with a man, what did that say?  Was it actually
`ok' to have sex with a man?  Mark, I'd have to say that Marcelo is about
as confused as it gets.  I'm not sure I have a lot of hope for a future for
him with Simon, but I'm willing to have lunch with them and talk about us,
if you want me to?"

I took his hands and we walked in for lunch hand in hand.

The waiter sat us down in a very public area that was just enough separated
from the other tables for a modicum of privacy.  Marcelo and Simon were
already seated as we walked in.  I saw Marcelo's eyes widen as he saw us
hand in hand and saw Simon give a small gleam of triumph.

We sat down and proceeded to enjoy a wonderful lunch.  No effort was
spared.  Soon Marcelo and Simon were exclaiming about how amazing the food
was and joking that they were going to get the studio to steal the chef.
At that point Claudio was walking by to check on us and he answered, "Over
my dead body, or more accurately, over your dead bodies!" He belied his
threat with a smile, but...point taken!  Grin.  The light and low alcohol
white wine had the tiniest bit of sparkle that matched the shellfish
Italian meal perfectly.  Hmm... A kind of "prosecco" I wasn't familiar with.
Wonderful!  Instead of a heavy meal that would beg for a nap afterwards,
this was a meal to invigorate and initiate real discussion.  After I
realized this I looked at Jon and he looked at the far end of the room to
where Claudio had now gravitated.  Once again I realized how far I was
behind at times.

As all four of sipped our after-dinner cappuccinos (cappuccini?), I could
feel the table's atmosphere change suddenly.  Marcelo stuck his lower jaw
out and looked at Jon challengingly.

"So, tell me about you and Mark, Jon.  I have to say I don't get it.  You
had Isabella, Miranda, Lucinda, and I don't know how many women in your
bed.  I admit for a guy Mark's pretty damn good-looking.  I can already
tell he's pretty intelligent and nice to be with, too."

I saw him look at me, admiringly, and then give Simon a similar look before
he continued.

"But he's a guy.  I just don't get it.  When you could have had any of
those women and so many others, why are you with a guy?"

If he hadn't sounded genuinely curious, I think I might have gotten angry.

I could tell Jon was not quite as calm as I was.  However he said,
"Marcelo, you just don't get it, do you?  It doesn't matter what kind of
`equipment' someone has, it's who they are that matters.  Yeah, I loved
having fun with all of those women over the years.  I found some of them to
be beautiful and some of them were incredible in bed, too. No question,
cousin.  But I never loved any of them.  I doubt that any of them loved me
either.  I could have married many of them, had kids, and done the whole
family thing, but it would have been wrong.  It would have been wrong for
me and it would have been wrong for them."

At this point his raised voice had caused a reaction in the big dining
room.  I realized that other conversations had started to drop off as the
other guys in the room were wondering what Jon was saying to the TV star
and why his voice had become so passionate.

"Marcelo, my cousin, we only have one life to live.  We're only here on
Earth once.  I could have married any of those women and had a `normal'
life.  But I'm not alive to only survive.  I've always realized I really
wanted to live life to the fullest.  And love is the greatest thing in
life.  To be honest I never expected to recognize real love between two
men.  However, when Mark, here, and his first partner, Marc, came into my
office for financial counseling the first time, I saw true love.  Their
love fucking blinded me.  And I knew immediately that I wanted what they
had.

I went back to all of the women I still knew.  I looked for this kind of
love with them.  No spark.  No smolder.  No fire.  No blinding light.
Obviously I had never met the right woman.  Looked like I never would.  I
tried traveling, hoping to meet her.  I even went on cruises, which I
normally would hate.  Have to admit a side benefit was meeting Claudio, who
is now working here and doing a fucking brilliant job."

I think I heard applause then.  I looked at Jon in open-mouthed admiration.
I had never heard this side of his story before.  He was flushed.  He was
passionate.  He was so articulate, too.  I began to wonder if he wouldn't
rival his cousin as an actor.  However, he was making up his script as he
went.  Wouldn't he be a brilliant preacher or defense lawyer?  My love and
admiration for him grew even greater, if that were possible.

"And then I heard that Marc had died, suddenly and prematurely, and that
Mark was howling in the darkness in grief." He looked at me with such love
that I started crying, despite myself.  He had tears in his eyes, too.  "I
ached to go to him to try to comfort him.  But I knew that would be wrong.
He had to find himself. He had to find strength in himself to go on.  The
gay community tried to help him find that in indirect ways.  However, he
wasn't ready to find it. It took him years to get over Marc's death.  And
when he finally did get the strength to go onÑand I know he feels it was
God-givenÑand when he appeared in my office, finally looking again like the
Mark I had wanted for so many years, I felt like raping him to have what he
had had.  I couldn't help but tease him sexually, though.  Mea culpa.  And
when he responded to me in confusion and was so vulnerable, so beautiful,
but showed he was excited by me, I lost it completely.  I fell head over
heels in love with my Mark.  He offered me such a trust, a purity, and an
innocence that I lost it.  I knew there would be no one else for me but
him."

He looked at Marcelo and Simon who both had tears in their eyes.  And who
in the big dining room who could hear him wouldn't?  He reached over to me,
pulled me to my feet, and in full sight in the middle of the room of guys
kissed me as passionately as he ever had!  And this time the applause was
deafening!  When the applause finally stopped he held me in his arms and
continued.

"And to show my Mark how much I loved him, I asked him to make love to me
the first time we hade love, right here at the Ranch!"

I could see the shock on Marcelo's face when he realized what Jon meant.

"That's right.  I don't think anything else could have convinced him just
how much I loved him.  He took my virginity.  And you know what, cousin?
Since it was Mark who did this, I wound up loving this, just as I love
everything we do together. And yes, we're equal in everything we
do. Anyway, I loved it since it was Mark, since I love him.  Period."

More applause and I'm sure more tears shed.

"And now, cousin, I hear you've been offered what I offered and have now
received back in so many incredible ways."

He smiled at me again and my heart melted again.  He looked at Simon who
was staring at him in beautific admiration.

"But I hear that you're rejecting this offer without even thinking about it
or examining it, through a knee-jerk reaction.  That is your right and your
decision.  But I wanted you to know what you are rejecting.  I would ask
you cousin, as a family member who's known you your whole life, to really
consider what it is you are rejecting before you do."

There wasn't a sound in the room.  We all looked at Marcelo.  He looked at
no one. You could see how stunned he was though.  He looked like he was in
shock after an accident.  Simon decided to stand up then.  He looked down
at Marcelo and smiled an achingly bittersweet smile that brought new tears.

"Marcelo, I love you. I always will.  I know that you love me, too.  I've
seen the footage they cut from the show when you're looking at me when you
think no one is, since that footage is way too `gay' for our show.  I
brought you here to show you that men can love each other in all ways,
sexually as well.  I asked Mark and Jon to talk to you about their love for
you to see how natural male love is.  However, I have to say that Jon went
way beyond what I expected!  Frankly, that was an Oscar-winning
performance!"

There were some slight laughs, but not many.  Everyone was too focused on
this unexpected live drama unfolding before them.

"I'll always love you, Marcelo.  However, I'm going to have to try to move
on if you can't, at least, talk to me about you and me.  I'll have to quit
the TV series..."

Major groans.

"...without being able to give any reason for doing so, to protect you.  That
will hurt my career and maybe even destroy it.  I don't know. But I'll have
to do that for me.  I can't work with you any more feeling how I feel and
feeling rejected all the time.  I just can't.  This is destroying me as a
person.  I'd rather destroy my career than destroy me."

With that he got up and started to leave the room.  He was truly
resplendent then.  No Shakespeare actor could have been more magnificent
than he was.  He turned back one last time.

"And Marcelo, the choice is now yours.  Come up to our room and talk or
find a new room.  I never meant to make this a public thing as it has
turned out.  I apologize for that.  And I can guarantee that no one in this
room will talk about today or "out" me.  The only guy gay guys ever "out"
is the anti-gay guy who declares he hates gays while being gay.  I'm not
that obviously."

Nervous laughter then.

"I love all of you guys in the room," he said, sweeping the room with a
look.  "Love me back."

With that he did leave.  No more sound.  Everyone waited to see what
Marcelo would do.

It must have been at least ten minutes before he stood in turn.  He did not
look good at all.  He was very pale.  He looked Jon's age or older, instead
of over ten years younger.  He looked like he'd rather be anywhere else in
the world than here.  He started out in a small voice that got steadily
stronger and firmer as he spoke his innermost thoughts out loud.

"I know this isn't going to make me popular here.  But I grew up in a
culture that despised gaysÑor at least it said it did.  The word, `macho'
is Latino after all, and that's my culture.  Both Jon here and I grew up
speaking both Spanish and English.  You know what gays are called in Spain?
`Mariposas'.  That means `butterflies'.  Why that? It means that gays, like
butterflies, are pretty and flit from flower to flower looking for nectar
to suck up.  Is that accurate about the gay world?  Tell me!"

He looked out at the dining room.  He could see some very angry faces, but
also some shame-faced people, too.

"Yep, there is truth in all stereotypes, I guess, but lies, too.  I have
always admired mi primo Juan.  He was always my favorite cousin. You can't
imagine how smart this man is.  I always wanted to be like him.  And when I
heard he was bisexual and messing around with men as well as women, I
couldn't believe it.  In fact I refused to believe it until this morning
when we had the first tough conversation of the day.  I mean, miren
ustedes, À no hay hombre m‡s macho que Juan, no?"

I saw Jorge and Chuck out in the audience nodding their heads up and down
very exaggeratedly.  LOL.

"So, when Simon (and yes that's his real name, just like mine's Marcelo)
came on to me and let me know he wanted me to want him, I had no frame of
reference.  I have never been with a man sexually, ever.  If primo Juan was
a virgin in some ways with Mark, I'm a total virgin with a man."

I could see all kinds of leers and lust in the room.  Lots of the gay guys
in the room would give everything they had to be first man in this man's
pants.  Sigh.

"So, I'm going upstairs to talk with Simon, for real."

Cheers!

"But I don't know where this is going to go.  I honestly fucking don't.  I
am so far out of my depth I'm not sure I can stay afloat.  Look, he's
always been honest with me. I'm going to try to be that with him.  And I
don't even know what I feel. Whether I move into another room after talking
with him or not, I'll ask all of you to keep what happened here today as
our secret.  While some guys can finally be openly gay in Hollywood, Simon
can't.  If I decide I'm bi or whatever I can't either.  I can promise I'll
work for gay rights in any way possible from now on though.  However, I'll
have to do it from the sidelines.

Can you guys respect that?"

The entire room nodded, again with tears.

He left, deeply in thought.

Jon and I hugged each other, so even more deeply in love.

At that point Teddy came over (and from where?) and hugged us both.

"You both were wonderful", he said.  "Jon, you were magnificent! Now, I
really, really, love you both, not just Mark.  But no cumming before
tonight! Take a nap now and rest up.  You'll need to!"

We both laughed and did go upstairs for a long nap in each others' arms.

I wondered about what was happening in the Presidential Suite and wondered
about when the snow would fall and whether it would interfere with Jon's
and my flight out late tomorrow afternoon.  But later, later... And later
would bring Teddy here, too!

Snoring now...