Date: Fri, 16 Feb 2007 03:18:25 -0800 (PST)
From: Kirk Landers <ilj4ever44@yahoo.com>
Subject: Phases- part 15

Copyright and Disclaimer:
1. This is a fictional story with fictional
characters.
2. No one is to steal this story under any
circumstances.
3. This story deals with relationships and not sex, so
if you're looking for a story with a lot of sex in it,
this isn't the story for you.

I know many of you feel that this story is getting on
the depressing side, but I want to assure you that
things are going to get back on a lighter tone.  I put
them all in that dark place now so that leading them
to the light will bring on fresher and fun storylines.
 So hope you all enjoy.  Here's part 15 entitled,
'Starting Over'

'STARTING OVER'

 It's been two weeks since Ryan left, two weeks since
Nick broke up with Adrian, and two more weeks of
drinking for Leo.  Kurt was very upset for a week, but
decided to try and hide his pain and try to focus on
the positive in his life, today was the best day to do
it.  It was his first day at West Coast Style
magazine.  Nick has since refocused on work and has
been carefully watching over Leo.

It was a Monday morning. Kurt decided to not let his
worry for Leo get in the way of his first day of work.
 It was a new start for him, he was newly single, and
at a new job.  He did everything he could to push
aside the fact that he missed Ryan terribly and was
going to do his best at work.  He came into the office
at nine AM and went to his office which was a couple
doors down from Reese's office.  Kurt really wasn't
even supposed to have an office, but being friends
with the editor gave a few perks here and there.  Not
only did he get an office, but Reese welcomed Kurt a
two bags full of men clothes that designers have sent
to the magazine in hopes to get photographed.  So far,
it was not a bad first day for him.

     Kurt was sitting in his office going over old
issues of West Coast Style to get a good feel of the
tone he should have in his writings when Reese came
in.

"How's it going?" Reese asked.

"Good," Kurt replied. "Everyone here is really nice,
the clothes you gave me are amazing, and this office
is great."

"Glad to hear it," Reese said sitting down in a chair
across from Kurt's desk. "So are you ready for your
first assignment?"

"Definitely," Kurt answered eager to start working.

"All right," Reese said handing Kurt some photographs
of models wearing some of the latest trends in
clothing, "For men, the big trends right now are the
return of cardigans, full cut pants, and thin ties for
example.  I want you to write about your thoughts on
them and how to make them work for people.  Can you do
that?"

"Yeah," Kurt nodded looking at the photographs. "So
cardigans are in huh?"

"Oh, cardigans are huge now," Reese said, "It's
bringing back that classic look.  The emo look is
over, it's time to get back to basics."

"All right," Kurt said. "I'll see what I can come up
with."

"Great," Reese said getting up, "So, how are things
with the boyfriend?"

"Non-existent," Kurt sighed, "He left a couple weeks
ago."

"Oh I'm so sorry," Reese said, "Mind if I ask why?"

"Long story," Kurt replied.

"How are you holding up?" Reese asked.

"I have my bad days," Kurt replied, "And then my days
that aren't so bad."

"Well how about we go out to eat tonight to celebrate
your first day?" Reese asked.

Kurt nodded, "I guess I can do that.  I could use a
night out."

"Great," Reese said, "After work we'll go eat at
Houston's."

"Sounds good," Kurt replied.

Reese left the office as Kurt got to work on his first
story for West Coast Style.  Meanwhile, Nick went over
to Kurt and Leo's place to check up on Leo.  Inside
the apartment Leo was throwing his bottles of alcohol
in a trash bag when he heard keys unlocking the front
door.  He quickly threw the bag of alcohol in his
closet and came outside to the living room when Nick
walked in.

"Hey," Leo said nervously, hoping he wasn't obvious
about hiding anything.

"Hey Leo," Nick said.

"What's up?  What are you doing here?" Leo asked.

"I just came by to hang out with you," Nick replied.
"It's been a while since we did that."

"Has it?" Leo asked as he tried to make himself seem
upbeat and happy.

"Yeah," Nick replied. "You haven't really talked to me
since that party a few weeks ago."

"Well, you didn't exactly seem like you were to fond
of me that night," Leo pointed out.

"Leo, I was just worried about you," Nick said, "I
still am."

"Why?" Leo asked. "Look at me, I'm fine."

"Are you really?" Nick asked.

"Absolutely," Leo lied. "If I had a problem, don't you
think I'd come to you about it?"

"No," Nick replied. "Not if you're having a problem
you don't want us to know about.  Do you?"

"What do you mean?" Leo asked.

"Leo, you seem to not really be dealing with Jesse,"
Nick replied.

"I'm fine with it," Leo dismissed, "I moved on."

"Already?" Nick asked. "After the accident you didn't
leave his bedside for a month.  Now suddenly you're
over it?"

"Yes," Leo replied.

"How'd you do that?" Nick asked.

"I found a way to put him out of my mind," Leo
replied.

"Just like that?" Nick asked.

"Just like that," Leo affirmed.

"And you're sure you're okay?" Nick asked.

"Positive," Leo answered. "I appreciate you stopping
by, but I really have some things I need to do today."

"All right," Nick said giving Leo a hug, "Call me
later okay?"

"Okay," Leo replied.

"I'll see you," Nick said as he left.  After Nick left
Leo went and grabbed his keys and headed out.

Back at West Coast Style, Kurt was mid-way through his
first article.  He felt this was really good stuff, he
was funny and witty in his writing and felt it had a
good feel with the tone of the magazine.

"Kurt, there's been a delivery for you," Frank, the
receptionist said as he came in with a  bouquet of
flowers.

"This person found me here on my first day?" Kurt
asked in shock.

"Who?" Frank asked.

"Oh, it's nothing," Kurt said taking the flowers,
"Thanks Frank."

Frank left Kurt's office, Kurt took the flowers and
set them on his desk and took out the card. 'Loving
you from afar.  You'll know me soon.'

Kurt sighed to himself, getting real fed up with these
mystery gifts.  He took the vase of flowers and threw
them in the trash.  After Kurt sat back down at his
desk Reese came into his office to see how the article
was coming.

"I'm half way done," Kurt said as he was reading over
what he had so far.

"Great, now Kurt, I really want you to work with the
style coordinators too.  They are your partners in
crime with your editorials, okay?"

"All right," Kurt replied.

"I'll come back later to see your progress," Reese
said.

"Thanks," Kurt replied.

Reese was heading out when he saw the flowers in the
trash.

"Uh oh," Reese said, "Gift from the ex?"

"No," Kurt replied. "Gift from some mystery person
who's been sending me gifts for the past few week."

"You don't know who it is?" Reese asked.

"No," Kurt replied. "And each time there's a card
telling me how much this person loves me."

"Who do you think it could be?" Reese asked.

"I wish I knew," Kurt sighed. "It's really starting to
piss me off.  If this person doesn't have to balls to
tell me he loves me then he should just leave me
alone."

"Well, maybe this person is just trying to be
romantic," Reese floated that idea.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Are you serious?"

"Hey, I'm just trying to give it a nicer spin so you
don't get so worked up over it," Reese said, "Be
flattered someone cares about you that much."

Reese left the room leaving Kurt alone to think if
maybe he had a point.  Maybe instead of getting
annoyed he should be flattered someone loves him.  A
secret admirer.  But where Kurt was now, this person
could be the greatest guy in the world and Kurt
wouldn't care, because he's still in love with Ryan.
Kurt reached into his briefcase and pulled out a
picture of him and Ryan from Christmas.  Kurt set the
photo next to his computer and admired it.

"I love you Ryan," Kurt sighed looking at the picture.
 Kurt then went back to work.

 Leo drove for about ten minutes before he arrived at
his destination, Jesse's apartment.  Jesse had given
him a key before the accident so Leo would go in and
be there all day.  Leo walked into his apartment and
looked all over and sighed, it was just as Jesse had
left it, it looked as if the owner of the apartment
wasn't in a coma, but simply out for a bit.  Jesse's
parents bought the apartment after the accident
because in the chance that he woke up again they
wanted to make sure Jesse would have a place to stay.
Leo went into Jesse's bedroom, on the dresser by the
bed there was a big framed picture of him and Jesse
together.  He laid down Jesse's bed thinking of the
times he spent in that bed with Jesse, holding each
other, loving each other.  He tried his best to face
his memories with Jesse instead of resorting to
drinking when he thought of him.  He thought coming to
Jesse's place would help him, but it only made it
worse.  He quickly left the apartment to get a drink.
He had work later that night but decided to just have
a couple drinks before he went in.

That night after Kurt finished his article he and
Reese were getting ready to go eat.

"Well, it's a lot different from what I usually write,
but I think it's all right," Kurt said.

"I'm sure it's fine.  I'll look over it tomorrow,"
Reese gave Kurt an encouraging hug. "Come on, lets go
eat."

The two arrived at Houston's and sat down at their
table and ordered some drinks.

"I still can't believe you're back," Kurt said
sincerely happy to see an old friend again.

"Well, when I was working in New York, it was a lot of
fun," Reese said, "Made some great friends, I'll miss
Adrian and Neal, but I never felt I was going to get
anywhere working at Fashion.  Once you're in a
position there, there really isn't much room to move
up.  So when my friend hooked me up with an interview
for West Coast Style, I knew it was just something I
had to do.  It's better for me, career-wise."

"And you get to have me bug you all the time," Kurt
joked.

"I'll admit, you were a definite perk about coming
back here," Reese said, "And when that editorial
position opened up, I knew you had to have it."

"Well thank you," Kurt said, "This is a really great
opportunity for me."

"I'm just glad you agreed," Reese said giving Kurt's
hand a squeeze. "And I have to admit, I do still
sometimes think about our little thing in Vegas."

"Really?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah, it was a wish fulfilled for me," Reese said.

Kurt smiled politely, but inside was feeling
uncomfortable with it.

"You think you might want to go out again sometime?"
Reese asked.

Kurt was silent.

"Or maybe I should have asked this question later to
keep from making the rest of our dinner being
awkward," Reese added in feeling like an idiot.

"Oh no," Kurt said quickly, "It's not that."

"So are you interested?" Reese asked hopeful.

"Reese, I would say yes," Kurt replied, "I'll admit
that there's always been a certain thing between us."

"I sense a 'but' coming in," Reese said.

"But, I just got out of a relationship with someone
and I'm just not ready," Kurt said.

"I'm not trying to rush you," Reese said, "Maybe just
start out slow, work our way towards that.  What do
you think?"

"Maybe," Kurt said coyly, "Is that good enough for
now?"

"I'll take it," Reese smiled.

The two spent the rest of the evening catching up on
old times and enjoying each others company.  It was
the first night that Kurt really felt he'd be okay
since Ryan left.

Later that night after Kurt got home he had Nick come
over to talk about his first day.

"Leo here?" Nick asked.

"I don't know, I knocked on his door, but he didn't
answer," Kurt replied.

Kurt went to the refrigerator to pull out a bottle of
wine he had in there, but when he opened it he found
that it was gone.

"My wine is gone," Kurt said closing the refrigerator
door.

"You didn't drink it?" Nick asked.

"No," Kurt replied. "I don't drink wine unless it's to
celebrate."

"Well I had a long day of doing nothing but work, I
can use some hard liquor if you have any," Nick
suggested sitting down at the kitchen counter.

"Yeah, I should have some scotch here in the cabinet,"
Kurt said going to the cabinet by the refrigerator,
but when he opened it up he saw that the bottle of
scotch he had in there was gone too. "That's gone
also."

"Really?" Nick asked curious.

"That's weird," Kurt replied.

Nick then had a sinking feeling he knew what happened
to it.  He got up and went over to Leo's room.

"What are you doing?" Kurt asked.

"I think I know where your alcohol went," Nick replied
opening the door to Leo's room.  When they walked in
they were shocked at how messy it was in there.

"Wow," Kurt said looking around the room, "Leo's
usually so clean."

"Well he hasn't exactly been himself," Nick pointed
out.

"True, but this is gross," Kurt commented picking up
some of Leo's dirty clothes, "I'm going to do his
laundry."

"I think I found something," Nick said pulling out a
heavy trash bag filled up.  He opened it up and dumped
out tons and tons of bottles.  It was enough to
satisfy a large party and the fact that it was all
consumed by just Leo scared Nick and Kurt.

"Oh my God," Kurt said gravely. "How could I not have
noticed this?"

"It's not your fault," Nick said. "Leo just obviously
needs help."

"He's not going to get help if he doesn't want it,"
Kurt pointed out.

"Then we'll have an intervention," Nick floated, "I
don't care what we have to do, but we're going to make
sure he gets help."

Nick picked up his cell phone and tried calling him,
but Leo didn't pick up.  Frustrated, Nick then put on
his jacket and grabbed his keys.

"Where are you going?" Kurt asked.

"To find him," Nick replied.

"Nick, he could be anywhere," Kurt said, "You'll be
looking all night."

"With the way it looks I'll probably find him at a bar
or liquor store," Nick said.

"Hold on, I'll go look to," Kurt said putting his
jacket on.

"No, stay here," Nick said, "If he comes back, call
me."

"I don't want you out there looking for him by
yourself," Kurt said, "I'll feel completely helpless
here."

"Kurt, I don't have time to argue with you on this,"
Nick said, the 'big brother' attitude kicking in,
"Just stay here."

"Promise me you'll be careful?" Kurt sighed.

"I promise," Nick replied giving Kurt a hug. "I'll
call you if I find him."

"You better," Kurt said as Nick closed the door to
leave.

Nick spent the rest of the night looking around the
city.  Anywhere he could think of that Leo might be.
He first started with the restaurant Leo works at, but
they said he didn't show up for his shift.  He then
went to Melrose and checked out all the restaurants
and bars in the area.  With no luck he proceeded to
look at liquor stores around the area they lived, but
no luck.  At around three in the morning he got a call
from Kurt.

"Anything?" Kurt asked hopeful.

"No," Nick replied.

"Where did you look?" Kurt asked.

"Everywhere, the restaurant, bars and restaurants
we've been too, liquor stores in our area," Nick
sighed.

"I'm really worried Nick," Kurt said, "What if
something happened to him?  What if he's hurt?"

"Can you think of any place he might be?" Nick asked
not giving up.

"Have you tried the hospital?" Kurt asked.

"I'm sure he's not hurt," Nick replied.

"No, do you think he's with Jesse?" Kurt asked.

Nick shook his head, he couldn't believe he didn't
think of that, "Kurt, you're brilliant.  I'll call you
in a bit."

Nick hung up the phone and drove to the hospital.
When he got there he realized visiting hours were
over, but he had to try.  Luckily when he walked in
one of the nurses on duty was one that he'd gotten to
know during the month when Leo came everyday.

"Hey you," the nurse said, "Long time no see."

"I know," Nick said, "Is Leo here?"

"Leo?" the nurse asked, "No, he hasn't been here for
quite some time."

"What?" Nick asked curious, he thought that Leo would
show up every now and then to check on Jesse.

"Just one day he stopped showing up," the nurse
replied.

"Are you serious?" Nick asked.

"Yeah," the nurse replied, "It's funny, he used to be
here every day and now nothing."

"I can't believe it," Nick said to himself.

"I'm sorry honey," the nurse said.

"Thanks," Nick said as he turned and left the hospital
defeated.  Nick called Kurt and told him he had no
luck.  The two decided to just call it a night and
look again tomorrow.  Neither one slept well that
night, Kurt would wake up and go check in Leo's room,
but found he wasn't there.  Nick tossed and turned
frustrated, angry, sad, worried, he was full of
emotions.  Nick was mostly thinking of what the nurse
said about Leo not visiting anymore, he knew that his
drinking and not visiting Jesse were related, but he
wasn't sure what Leo was trying to do.  Was he trying
to just move on and forget about Jesse?  Or was he
just dealing with the pain?

The next day Nick got woken up by his phone ringing.

"Hello?" Nick asked answering.

"Is this Nick?" a male voice asked.

"Yes, who's this?" Nick asked.

"My name's John.  I'm a co-worker of Leo's.  He's here
with me now at the restaurant and needs someone to
pick him up."

"He's there?" Nick asked, "How did he get there?  When
did he get there?"

"I guess he's been here in the restaurant the whole
night, we found him passed out behind the bar when we
came in this morning," John said.  "Luckily we got
here before the manager, so he won't get in trouble,
but you should hurry and pick him up."

"How'd you guys know to call me?" Nick asked.

"Your name was the only one he said when we asked him
who can come get him," John said. "We got your number
off his cell."

"I'll be right there," Nick said hanging up.  He
grabbed his car keys and went to the restaurant.  When
he got there Leo was sitting down at a table laying
his head down.  He went up to Leo and tapped him on
the shoulder.  Leo opened his eyes and looked up to
see Nick looking down at him in disappointment.

"Hi," Leo groaned.

"Come on," Nick said getting Leo up. "Lets go."

He helped Leo get up and outside.  When Leo reached
outside he pushed away from Nick and hurried to the
bushes outside the doors to the restaurant and threw
up.  When he was done he wiped his mouth and then
headed to Nick's car.  When he sat down inside he
closed his eyes and rested his head back.

"You're welcome," Nick said starting the car.

"Thanks for picking me up," Leo sighed.

"What the hell were you doing drinking all night?"
Nick asked. "Do you have any idea how worried Kurt and
I were about you?  I was out the whole night looking
for you and Kurt stayed up waiting for you to come
home."

"I was just out," Leo replied. "It's nothing serious."

"Yes, it is serious," Nick said, "How did you get into
the restaurant anyway?"

"I have a key," Leo said.

"You're lucky your co-workers covered your ass," Nick
said, "Otherwise you'd be out of a job."

"I don't care," Leo said.

"Leo, you have a drinking problem. Kurt and I saw the
bottles in your room."

"You went looking through my room?" Leo asked angrily.

"When we noticed that Kurt's alcohol was missing we
added it to the fact that you've been acting strange
and put two and two together," Nick said.

"How dare you go through my room," Leo snapped.

"Don't try getting mad at us," Nick said, "Explain all
those bottles of alcohol you had in your room."

"I don't have to explain anything to you," Leo said.
"I am not an alcoholic!"

"Yes you are," Nick said.

"I may like a drink now and then, but that does not
make me an alcoholic," Leo retorted.

"You call a trash bag full of empty alcohol bottles
'drinking now and then'?" Nick asked.

"This is because of Jesse right?" Nick asked.

"Don't mention his name," Leo said, "Don't say his
name."

"Why?" Nick asked, "Why haven't you gone to see him at
all?"

"You told me not to!" Leo said.

"I told you not to go there everyday and neglect to
live your life," Nick said, "I didn't say to just
forget about him completely."

"Well that's what I'm trying to do," Leo shrugged.

"I'm taking you to see Jesse."

Nick called Kurt and told him to meet them at the
hospital.

"What?" Leo panicked, "No, I can't.  Don't take me
there!"

Nick didn't say anything he just proceeded to drive to
the hospital.  When Nick parked Leo tried to get out
and get away from the hospital, but Nick grabbed him
and the two went inside.

"I don't want to go," Leo frantically said as Nick
dragged him down the hallway.

"You need to," Nick said.

"Why are you taking me here?" Leo asked.

"For your own good," Nick replied.

When Nick and Leo got to Jesse's room Kurt was already
waiting for them inside.  Nick dragged Leo inside who
was doing everything he could to not enter that room.
Once he was inside Nick forced Leo to look at Jesse.

"Look at him," Nick said holding Leo.  Leo kept his
eyes closed. "Dammit!  Look at him!"

"No," Leo shouted. "I can't."

"Leo, look at him," Nick said one last time.  This
time, Leo complied and looked at Jesse.  Leo looked at
him in horror, Jesse was still laying there, helpless,
tubes stuck up his nose, IV's in his arms.  Leo tried
looking away, but Nick forced him to look at Jesse.
"Look at Jesse, do you think Jesse wants to see you
this way?  You're disgusting.  Is this how you want to
honor Jesse?  By becoming an alcoholic?"

Nick then turned Leo to a mirror and forced Leo to
look at himself. "Look at you Leo.  This person you
are seeing in the mirror isn't you.  The Leo I know is
high spirited, full of love and life.  What happened
to him?"

"You two have no idea how hard this is," Leo said
turning to face both Nick and Kurt, "I tried dealing
with it, but whenever I thought of him the memories
just became too much and I had to drown them out.  I
can't do anything when I think of him.  He was
everything to me and now he's gone!  He haunts my
every waking moment.  The only way I can get a moments
peace is when I drink.  I need to drink.  It's the
only thing that helps me."

"So is that why you're drinking?" Kurt asked. "You
want to forget Jesse?"

"Yes," Leo replied. "Just for once, I don't want him
consuming my thoughts.  I can't move on with my life
if he's always there in my mind."

"Leo, you can't just erase him," Nick said, "Yes he's
in a coma and I'm sorry, but you can still honor him
and your memories with him.  You don't need to erase
him to move on."

"It's too hard moving on if he's always there with me
in my mind," Leo cried. "I don't come here anymore
because I see him just laying there and I don't
understand why he can't just wake up and be with me
again."

"I know," Kurt said putting his arm around Leo, "I
wish he could Leo, but he can't and you have to accept
that."

"Leo, you've experience something with Jesse that so
few people get to experience in their lives." Nick
began, "You got to have true love.  You know how many
people would kill to have just a moment of what you
had with him?  You and Jesse were in love and that
love should be honored."

Leo turned to look at Jesse laying helplessly in the
hospital bed.

"Sure he may not be with you physically," Nick
continued, "But you know he's always with you in
here."  Nick put his hand over Leo's heart.
Immediately Leo thought of the dream he had with Jesse
in it a while back when Jesse told him that he'd
always be in his heart.

Leo began sobbing as Nick and Kurt held onto him
tightly.

"I miss him so much," Leo cried. "I can't do this with
out him.  I need him.  I need him back."

Leo, Nick and Kurt spent the next two hours in Jesse's
hospital room, Leo was crying into their arms.

*************************************************************************

To Be Continued...

With any comments, questions or feedback please e-mail
me at ilj4ever44@yahoo.com.  Thanks so much!