Date: Tue, 31 Jul 2007 10:29:32 -0700 (PDT)
From: Kirk Landers <ilj4ever44@yahoo.com>
Subject: Phases- part 31

Copyright and Disclaimer:
1. This is a fictional story with fictional
characters.
2. No one is to steal this story under any
circumstances.
3. This story deals with relationships and not sex, so
if you're looking for a story with a lot of sex in it,
this isn't the story for you.


Hey everyone, welcome back.  Here's chapter 31
entitled 'Phases Three aka Denial'

'PHASE THREE aka DENIAL'

It was two weeks since Nick's death.  It was the day
of Nick's funeral.  Jesse was sitting in the living
room with Leo while they waited for Kurt to finish
getting ready.  Leo was in total shock over the whole
situation, he still couldn't believe his best friend
was gone.  Jesse held his hand tightly, doing
everything he could to assure him that he wasn't alone
in this.

"How are you holding up?" Jesse asked.

"It's still unreal," Leo replied. "I still can't
believe that he's gone."

"You've been holding up really well given the
circumstances," Jesse said. "I'm proud of you."

"I have to," Leo said. "I don't want to fall apart in
front of Kurt.  I have to be strong for him."

"I've been wanting to talk to you about him," Jesse
said. "Is he okay?  When I've seen him he doesn't seem
to be really affected by all this, he's been acting-"

"Numb," Leo finished Jesse's sentence.

"Yeah," Jesse said.

"I know," Leo replied. "I just think he's really in
denial over all of this.  I think he feels that if he
falls apart then it will just make it that much more
real that Nick isn't coming back."

"Have you talked to him?" Jesse asked.

"I tried," Leo answered, "But he just tells me he's
okay.  He won't talk much about it."

"Maybe he should," Jesse suggested. "Maybe you and him
should both go to some grief counseling.  Help you
deal with this."

"I can't think about that now," Leo said. "Right now I
just have to try and make it through the day."

"We should probably get going," Jesse said looking at
his watch.

"I'll get Kurt," Leo said getting up and knocking on
Kurt's door, "Kurt, you ready?"

There wasn't an answer, before Leo could knock again
there was a knock on the front door.  When Leo
answered the door, Ryan was standing there dressed for
the service.

"Hey," Ryan said giving Leo a hug, "You okay?"

"Doing my best," Leo replied. "Thanks for coming."

"Of course.  Nick meant a lot to me too," Ryan said.

"Hey Ryan," Jesse greeted giving him a hug.

"We're just waiting for Kurt," Leo said. "He better
hurry.  We're going to be late."

"Why don't you two go on ahead and I'll go get him,"
Ryan said.

"You sure?" Leo asked.

"Yeah, we'll meet you two at the church," Ryan
replied.

"All right," Leo said grabbing his jacket as him and
Jesse left.

Ryan went and knocked on Kurt's door. "Kurt, it's
Ryan.  Can I come in?"

Again, there was no answer.  Ryan then slowly opened
the door and saw Kurt blankly looking into the mirror
as he absent-mindedly adjusted the tie on his suit.

"Kurt," Ryan said softly, "We have to get going."

"Huh?" Kurt asked snapping out of his daze, "Oh yes,
right.  We should go."  Kurt then gave Ryan a smile,
"Nice of you to come."

"Are you okay?" Ryan asked noticing that Kurt was
acting a little too chipper to be going to his best
friend's funeral.

"I'm fine," Kurt replied. "Let's go."

"Kurt, wait," Ryan said taking Kurt by the hand. "You
can talk to me.  It's okay if you're really upset
right now."

"Ryan, really I'm okay," Kurt said. "These things
happen.  We have to move on though right?"

"I guess," Ryan replied, but knowing that Kurt was
acting strangely.

"Where's Leo and Jesse?" Kurt asked as they headed for
the door.

"They went ahead," Ryan said. "I told them we'd meet
them down there."

"Oh, okay," Kurt replied. "Well, do you want me to
drive?"

"No, I'll drive," Ryan said. "Is Gabriel coming?"

"Apparently his flight got canceled so he won't make
it out here until this evening," Kurt sighed, "Just
can't trust those airlines sometimes."

"Kurt, why are you acting like this?" Ryan asked.

"Acting like what?" Kurt replied.

"Like nothing happened," Ryan said. "I mean, I'm not
saying that I want you to be crying and destroyed, but
you're acting like Nick just moved away."

"Well, he was going to move away before he died," Kurt
said, "So, inevitably I was going to have to face life
with out him right?  This is me facing it."

"I don't think you are facing it," Ryan said.

"Ryan, we don't have time for this," Kurt said, "We
have to get down to the church and you know how I hate
to be late."

Kurt then headed out the door in front of Ryan who
stood in shock for a moment at how lightly Kurt was
taking the whole situation.

When Ryan and Kurt got to the church they went and sat
in the front row by Luke, Jesse, Leo and Nick's
parents.  Kurt put a comforting arm around Leo who was
already starting to shed tears.  The church was filled
with people.  They consisted of family, friends,
co-workers, anyone that Nick touched and that was a
lot of people.  The service was being lead by a young
female pastor.

"No one can fully understand why some are taken from
us so suddenly, so unexpectedly," the pastor said. "We
are here today not to say goodbye to Nick, but rather
welcome him to a different destiny in store for him.
He can look on and watch over us all and we can be
blessed to know that he has now found peace."

Through out her words Leo broke down crying.  Jesse
held his hand tightly as Kurt put an arm around him to
comfort him.  Everyone was crying except for Kurt.  He
remained emotionless through out the ceremony, not
letting on how he truly felt.  Ryan looked over and
noticed that Kurt wasn't crying and couldn't help but
be shocked and a little disappointed at his lack of
emotion.

"We have two people here who would like to share some
thoughts about Nick.  They were his best friends, Kurt
Parker and Leo Washington," the pastor said.  Kurt and
Leo then both went up to the podium to talk about
Nick.  On their way to the podium Kurt looked over at
Nick's closed casket where he now laid.  He gave a
look of wonder and almost confusion looking at the
casket.

"Kurt," Leo said getting Kurt's attention.  Kurt shook
his head and then joined Leo at the podium.

"Kurt's better at the speaking then me so he's going
to start," Leo said to the people in the church.  Kurt
then looked at all the people in the church, all of
them there to mourn Nick.  He then gazed towards the
ground and again gave a look of confusion.  The people
in the church were waiting for Kurt to talk, the whole
place was in silence.  Ryan and Jesse both exchanged
glances with each other and Luke and then Leo who was
trying to get Kurt to say something.

"Are you okay?" Leo whispered, "Say something."

"Huh?" Kurt asked snapping out of his daze.

"We're sharing our thoughts on Nick," Leo replied.

"Right," Kurt said shaking his head. "Right."

"Do you want to begin?" Leo asked.

"No, it's okay," Kurt said looking out into the people
again, "Nick's a great guy.  There's no one better
then him.  He is always there for people when they
need him.  He is my big brother."

Ryan couldn't help but notice that Kurt talked about
Nick in the present tense as if Nick was still alive
and well.  Kurt grew silent again, not knowing what
else to say.

"I'll go ahead and finish," Leo said taking out a
piece of paper where he wrote down a little speech,
"No matter what went on in our lives we always knew we
could count on Nick for guidance, for support, for a
listening ear.  He was the type of person who everyone
wants in their lives, the type of person who loves
unconditionally and who does everything he could to
help out those who need it.  He was the best friend to
us, the best boyfriend to Luke, the best son to Hannah
and Lionel.  He was successful in everything he did
and we will always love him and remember him."  Leo
set the paper down to say a few words from his heart.
"I don't know if many of you know this but I wouldn't
be here today if it weren't for Nick.  A while back I
was on this downward spiral and became an alcoholic,
Nick was the most instrumental in making sure I got
help.  He wouldn't give up on me no matter how many
times I told him to leave me alone.  He knew I could
fight it and he knew that I needed him.  He saved my
life."

Some of the people in the Church started smiling,
remembering what a great guy Nick was.

"Nick and I were always getting into stupid little
fights because we were so opposite of each other," Leo
said. "We'd fight about such small little things and
Kurt always had to mediate between us."

"It isn't easy breaking those fights up," Kurt said.
The people in the church all laughed a little,
welcoming a brief moment of relief.

"I'll miss those fights," Leo said. "I'll miss our
banters and our disagreements."

Leo looked into the audience and made eye contact with
Luke.

"One thing that I know Nick was most proud of was his
relationship with Luke Grayson.  Him and Luke didn't
have the easiest relationship.  There were things that
complicated matters and made things difficult and I
was one of those things.  For that I am truly sorry
and will regret every day the fact that I was a
hardship on that for so long.  Nick loved Luke so much
and Luke loved him.  I remember Nick telling me how
happy he was with Luke.  There was a period of time
when Nick never seemed truly happy, but when he was
with Luke you could tell he had a look that was so
happy and so complete."

Luke gave Leo a grateful smile.

"Nick was with out a doubt the big brother to Kurt and
I.  He always watched out for us and always made sure
we were okay.  We always knew we could turn to him for
help and I will be forever grateful to that." Leo
said.

Kurt and Leo then stepped down from the podium and sat
back down as the pastor finished up the service.

After the service there was a wake at the house of
Nick's parents.  Ryan, Kurt, Jesse and Leo were
standing together when Joey came up to them.

"Excuse me," Joey said, "Sorry, I don't mean to barge
in on your conversation."

"Joey" Ryan said, pleased to see him again, "How are
you?"

"I'm okay," Joey replied. "I can't believe that Nick
is really gone."

"You knew Nick?" Leo asked.

"Yeah, he had helped me out a few times in the past,"
Joey replied. "I just wanted to come and give my
condolences."

"It's sweet of you to come," Ryan said.

"Had to," Joey said. "Nick and you were the only
people who actually took a chance on me.  I really
appreciate that."

"What did he help you with?" Leo asked, "If you don't
mind me asking."

"It was months ago, my mom had kicked me out of the
house for being gay and he talked to her and tried to
get her to understand me more," Joey said, "And it
worked for a bit, but she just could never get used to
it.  So when I turned 18 I moved out."

"And where do you live now?" Leo asked.

"I was living with some friends, but it didn't work
out.  So now I'm just going from place to place," Joey
replied.

"What?" Leo asked saddened to hear that. "Listen, if
you ever need anything stop by the Gay and Lesbian
Center.  I work there so just look for me and we can
talk."

"Thanks," Joey said gratefully. "I should go, I just
wanted to pay my respects."

"Thank you," Kurt said shaking Joey's hand.

Joey then left the wake as Luke walked up to them.

"Hey guys," Luke said sadly.

"Hey Luke," Kurt said giving Luke a hug.

"How are you doing?" Leo asked.

"Horribly," Luke replied. "I don't even know what to
think anymore."

"I know," Leo sighed.

"I just wanted to tell you guys that I'm going to San
Diego still," Luke said.

"You are?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah, I have to get out of here.  Everything just
reminds me of him and it's too hard," Luke replied.

"I understand," Leo said.

Kurt grew silent not knowing what to think about the
situation.  With Luke going it was starting to be that
much more real to Kurt.

"Will you please keep in touch?" Leo asked.

"Yeah," Luke replied. "I'll stop by tonight before I
leave."

"Okay," Leo said.

"I have to leave here," Luke said wiping away some
tears, "I can't be here anymore.  It's too hard.  I'll
see you guys tonight."

Luke then left the wake as well.

"It's real now," Leo sighed. "With Luke going it just
makes all of this that much more real."

"You okay?" Ryan asked Kurt.

"I'm fine," Kurt lied. "You know, it's just really
depressing here.  I'm going to go home."

"Are you sure?" Leo asked.

"Yeah.  I'll see you guys later," Kurt said as he
headed out the door.

"What's going on with Kurt?" Ryan asked.

"You've notice it's too huh?" Leo asked.

"It's kind of hard not to notice," Ryan said.

"I just think he's in denial," Leo said.

"It is one of the stages of grief," Jesse said.

"Stages?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah, there are five stages of grief," Jesse replied.
"Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and then
finally acceptance."

"How do you know that?" Leo asked.

"I read it in an article in the waiting room when I
was in therapy," Jesse replied.

"Impressive," Ryan said.

"So how do we help him?" Leo asked.

"Have him face what happened," Jesse replied.

"If going to Nick's funeral today didn't help him face
what happened then what will?" Ryan asked.

"Maybe taking him to Nick's apartment," Jesse
suggested.

"I don't think Kurt's ready for that, I don't think
I'm ready for that," Leo said.

"He's only been gone a couple weeks," Ryan said.
"Maybe we should just give it time."

"Kurt needs to grieve," Jesse said. "He needs to feel
it.  It's a part of moving on."

"You should talk to him Leo," Ryan said. "You're the
one who knows what he's going through the most."

 "Do you really think that I should take him to Nick's
place?" Leo asked dreading going there himself.

"Listen babe," Jesse said giving Leo a comforting hug,
"If you're not ready to go there then don't take him
there, but just talk to him.  I think he needs you now
more then you know."

"Okay," Leo said. "I'll see you guys later."

"Good luck babe," Jesse said giving Leo a kiss.

Leo then left heading home to talk to Kurt.

"So how are you doing?" Ryan asked Jesse. "This has
really been a hectic time for you.  Getting your
memory back, then Nick."

"I'm doing okay," Jesse replied. "I'm really sad about
Nick, he was a great guy and a great friend, but I
have to be strong for Leo.  He needs me now."

"That's good," Ryan said.

"How about you?" Jesse asked. "What's going on between
you and Kurt?   He's still with Gabriel right?"

"Nothing's going on," Ryan said. "There were talks
about something maybe, but with everything that
happened we just kind of pushed all that to the side."

"You okay with that?" Jesse asked.

"Yeah," Ryan replied. "Because I know now isn't the
time to be talking to Kurt about that.  He has enough
on his plate he has to deal with, I don't want to be
an extra burden on him."

"That's noble of you," Jesse said. "You worried at all
he might move on from you though?"

"Kurt and I have this connection with each other,"
Ryan explained, "No matter what, I know that in the
end we'll find a way to each other."

"Hope you're right," Jesse said. "Don't get me wrong,
Gabriel is a great guy, but from what I remember about
you and Kurt together and the way you've been there
for both him and Leo through all of this, it just
shows how much you really love him.  I think he
deserves that kind of love from someone."

"Thanks," Ryan said gratefully.

"You know, this is probably the first time you and I
really had a chance to talk with each other," Jesse
pointed out.

"Yeah, I think you're right," Ryan replied realizing
it as well.

"We should hang out some time," Jesse said. "When Kurt
and Leo have their time with each other, we should go
grab a drink or something."

"Definitely," Ryan replied.  From that moment Jesse
and Ryan started to form a friendship with one
another.

Kurt was sitting on the bed in his room, motionless,
thinking over everything that's happened.  It was
still unreal to him, he still couldn't accept that
Nick wasn't there anymore, he didn't understand it, he
didn't want to understand it.

"Kurt," Leo said knocking on the door. "Can I come
in?"

"Yeah sure," Kurt said wiping away tears that were
beginning to form.

"How are you?" Leo asked walking in.

"I'm doing okay," Kurt replied. "How are you?"

"Terrible," Leo said. "I can't even really explain
it."

"I'm sorry," Kurt said. "Come here."

Leo went next to Kurt as he hugged him tightly.

"You'll be okay," Kurt said.

"I know," Leo said. "I know that eventually I'll get
through this.  The question is, will you be okay?"

"Yeah," Kurt replied. "I'm fine.  These things happen,
it's sad, but they happen every day."

"But not to our best friend," Leo pointed out.

Kurt grew silent, not knowing what to say.  He didn't
want to talk about Nick.  In fact since Nick died,
Kurt made it a point to talk about Nick as less as
possible.

"Kurt, we need to go somewhere," Leo said. "Nick's
parents want us to go to Nick's apartment and finish
packing some stuff up."

"They do?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah," Leo lied.  They didn't ask him, but it was the
only thing he could think of to get Kurt to go over to
Nick's place.

"You know, I would, but Gab is coming in later today,"
Kurt said.

"You can see him later," Leo replied. "We won't be
there long."

"Maybe tomorrow, or next week," Kurt said trying to
get out of going to Nick's place. "Why don't we wait
and we'll go with Jesse and Ryan and Gab."

"Kurt, please," Leo begged. "I don't want to go there
by myself."

Kurt looked in Leo's eyes and saw how desperate he was
for Kurt to go with him.

"Okay," Kurt sighed, "But promise me we won't be there
long."

"I promise," Leo said.

"Fine," Kurt sighed.

On the way to Nick's place Kurt and Leo were silent,
both not wanting to go to Nick's apartment.  Leo knew
he had to take Kurt there, he had to get Kurt to not
deny the reality of what happened anymore.

When they got to Nick's front door Kurt stopped
suddenly.

"What's wrong?" Leo asked.

"I can't go in," Kurt replied backing away from the
door.

"Come on Kurt," Leo said taking Kurt's hand, "We need
to do this."

"No," Kurt replied. "Why can't someone else do it?"

"Because you need to," Leo blurted out.  He then
realized he blew his cover, "I mean, Nick's parents
want us to."

"What?" Kurt asked.  He then realized, "Nick's parents
didn't want us to come here.  You wanted to bring me
here."

 "Yes," Leo sighed. "I wanted you to come here."

"Why?" Kurt asked.

"Because the way you're acting now is not right," Leo
replied. "You're avoiding what happened.  Nick died."

"Don't say that," Kurt said.

"Why not?  It's the truth," Leo said. "I hate saying
it, but it's true.  Nick is dead."

"Stop it Leo," Kurt snapped, his eyes starting to fill
with tears.

Leo opened the door to Nick's apartment.

"Look inside there," Leo said pointing through the
doorway.  "He isn't here anymore."

"No," Kurt said not wanting to face that.

"Kurt, I hate saying it.  You know I loved Nick just
as much as you did," Leo said. "He was our best friend
and it doesn't make sense that he's gone, but he is.
We have to face that."

"He can't leave me," Kurt said shaking his head. "He
wouldn't."

"He didn't have a choice sweetie," Leo said.

"No!" Kurt yelled.  Leo quickly grabbed Kurt and
pulled him into Nick's apartment and closed the door.

"Be quiet," Leo said. "You don't want to bug the other
neighbors."

The two of them looked around, both realizing that
they were standing inside of Nick's apartment.  Kurt
quickly headed for the door, but Leo stopped him.

"No," Leo said. "We have to stay here.  We have to
face this."

"I don't want to," Kurt said.

"Well you have to," Leo said. "Kurt, we went to his
funeral today.  He's gone.  You just have to accept
that."

"You make it sound like it's an easy thing to do,"
Kurt said.

"I know it isn't," Leo said. "I know it's hard.
Especially for you since you've known him the longest
out of all of us, but we have to get through this."

"I can't," Kurt said. "He's been there for me for
twelve years!"

"I know," Leo said hugging Kurt tightly, "I know.  But
you have to be strong and face this.  Face it with me.
 I don't want to go through this alone and if you keep
living in denial over this then you will never move
on.  Look around Kurt, he's not here anymore."

Kurt and Leo both took a moment to look at the
apartment, while Nick's things were there it still
felt very empty at the same time.  Feeling the
emptiness inside is what finally hit Kurt, who broke
down in tears and fell to the floor.  Leo quickly
rushed to him.

"Just let it out," Leo said holding Kurt tightly.

"Why was he taken from us?" Kurt cried, "Why?  It
wasn't supposed to be this way!"

"I know," Leo said. "It's not fair."

"I want him back," Kurt cried, "I want him back so
bad."

"I do to," Leo said. "I do to."

"Please come back Nick," Kurt cried and begged,
"Please come back.  I need you here."

"He's not coming back Kurt," Leo said sadly, "He's
gone."

There was a light knock on the door and then Ryan and
Jesse came in.

"What are you guys doing here?" Leo asked.

"We realized that you two might need some support,"
Jesse said. "Two of you coming here alone I'm sure is
tough on you."

"Thanks," Leo said gratefully.

"You need me to help?" Ryan asked as he leaned down
and rubbed Kurt's back.  Kurt leaned into Ryan's chest
crying, finally feeling the pain of losing Nick. "It's
okay Kurt.  It's going to be okay."

"No it's not," Kurt cried.

"You'll make it through this," Ryan assured. "I
promise."

"How could he just leave us like this?" Kurt asked.

"Kurt, it wasn't his decision," Ryan said.

"We didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to him,"
Kurt said. "He was just gone.  How could he do this?"

"I'm so sorry Kurt," Ryan said holding Kurt tightly.

"Come on," Jesse said taking Leo's hand, "Let's leave
them alone."

When they walked outside Jesse put his arms around
Leo, holding him close. "You did good babe."

"You think?" Leo asked.

"Yeah, he's feeling it," Jesse replied.

 "At the end there it almost sounded like he was mad
at Nick," Leo pointed out.

"I think he's starting to move to stage two of
grieving," Jesse replied.

"Anger," Leo said remembering the five stages of
grief.

That night Ryan took Kurt home and walked him to the
front door.  Kurt finally stopped crying and was
really tired.  He was emotionally and physically
drained.

"Thanks for taking me home," Kurt said.

"It's no problem," Ryan said. "Just get some rest
okay?"

"Yeah," Kurt nodded.

Ryan started to walk off.

"Ryan?" Kurt called out.

"Yeah?" Ryan asked walking back to him.

"Thank you for being there for me at the apartment,"
Kurt replied. "It meant a lot."

"You're welcome," Ryan said giving Kurt a hug, "If you
or Leo need anything.  I want you to call me okay?"

"Okay," Kurt replied. "Thank you."

"Kurt!" a voice called out.

Kurt looked over Ryan's shoulder and saw Gab walking
up to them.

"Hey Gab," Kurt said as him and Ryan separated.

"Hey, I'm sorry I couldn't be there earlier today,"
Gab said giving Kurt a hug, "How are you doing?"

"I'm all right," Kurt said. "Ryan helped me out a
lot."

"Thanks for that," Gab said shaking Ryan's hand.

"No trouble at all," Ryan smiled, suddenly feeling out
of place.

"Well you have me for the next two days," Gab said
giving Kurt a kiss.

"Great," Kurt smiled as he opened the door to his
apartment.

"I should get going," Ryan said backing away.

"Do you want to come in for a bit?" Kurt asked not
wanting Ryan to leave.

"No, another time," Ryan said. "I'll check in on you
later."

"All right," Kurt said. "Thank you again Ryan."

"You're welcome," Ryan smiled. "Good night Gabriel."

"Good night Ryan," Gab replied as him and Kurt went
inside Kurt's apartment.

Ryan then walked alone to his car, hoping that one day
soon it would be right again for him and Kurt.

A little later on, Kurt, Leo, Gab and Jesse were
sitting in the living room of the apartment together.
Gab was holding Kurt while Jesse was holding Leo.
They all were very quiet, not too sure what to talk
about in the situation they were currently in.  The
silence was quickly disrupted though by a knock on the
door.  Leo answered it and was happy to see Luke.

"Hey," Leo said giving Luke a hug.

"Hey, I just came by to say goodbye like I promised,"
Luke said.

"You're really leaving?" Kurt asked, his eyes
beginning to fill with tears again.

"Yeah," Luke said. "I can't be here anymore.  I'm
sorry."

"We understand," Leo said.

"We'll give you three some privacy," Jesse said
motioning for Gab to follow him into Leo's bedroom.
"Good luck with everything Luke."

"Thanks," Luke replied as him and Gab left the room.

"Do you want to sit down?" Leo asked motioning to the
couch.

"No, I should get going pretty quick," Luke replied.

"You take care of yourself," Kurt said giving Luke a
hug.

"I just wanted to thank you for always being so great
to me," Luke said to Kurt. "When Nick and I got back
together I'm sure you were a bit hesitant of it, but I
appreciate you welcoming me back."

"I saw that he made you happy and you made him happy,"
Kurt replied. "That's all I could want for both of
you."

"You've been great," Luke said.

"So have you," Kurt replied, tears coming down his
cheeks. "With you going it just makes it that much
more real that he's gone.  I'm going to miss you."

"I'll miss you too," Luke said crying as well, "But I
have to do this."

"I know," Kurt sighed.  Luke then turned to Leo.

"Luke, I know that I made things rough for you since
you came back into Nick's life," Leo said.

"Leo, you don't need to apologize," Luke replied. "I
understand.  You were just looking out for him."

"I hate that it took me so long to see how happy he
was with you," Leo said tearing up, "In the end,
that's all that matters.  You made him happy and I
couldn't be more grateful for that.  You were the
great love of his life."

"And he was the great love of mine," Luke said. "I
don't think I'll ever find anyone I love as much as
him."

"You are a good person Luke," Leo said. "I can see
just how much you changed and how great you really
are.  You will find love again.  I'm sure of it."

"You think?" Luke asked.

"I do," Leo replied.

"No one will ever by like Nick though," Luke said.

"No one ever could," Leo replied. "He was too special
of a person."

"Yeah," Luke sighed missing Nick so badly.

"You're the only person I know who could possibly know
the pain that Kurt and I are feeling," Leo said.

"I do," Luke said. "I miss him so much."

"Me too," Leo said hugging Luke tightly.

"We've had a long and complicated history Leo," Luke
said. "I'm glad that we're at least saying goodbye on
a good note."

"It's not goodbye," Leo said. "You still have to keep
in contact with me okay?  You promised you wouldn't
leave my life again, remember?"

"Yeah," Luke nodded. "I'll write you."

"Good," Leo said giving Luke a hug. "Take care of
yourself."

"You too," Luke replied.

Luke then slowly headed for the door.  He turned back
to Kurt and Leo and gave them both a brave smile.
Kurt and Leo quickly went up to Luke and the three
held each other tightly, all crying, all mourning the
loss of Nick.  After a few moments Luke finally left.
While they told Luke to keep in touch, deep down
inside they knew that they probably would never hear
from him again.  They realized that keeping in touch
with them would just make it harder on him to move on.
 All they could do now was just wish him the best in
life and hope he makes it through all of this okay.

In the middle of the night Leo woke up from a dream he
had about Nick.  Ever since Nick died he dreamed of
him every night.  It was always the same, he was
trying desperately to reach out and grab Nick's hand.
But right when their hands were about to touch, Leo
would wake up.  Leo got out of bed and went to get a
glass of water.  When he opened the door to his room
he saw Kurt sitting in the dark on the couch in the
living room.

"Hey, couldn't sleep either?" Kurt asked.

"Had a dream about Nick," Leo replied.

"Me too," Kurt said.

"It seems like the world is a lot scarier, doesn't
it?" Leo asked. "It's like Nick was this great
protector, our super hero."

"Yeah," Kurt agreed. "Now we've lost our safety net."

"I guess there's only one question that scares me the
most to even ask," Leo said.

"Where do we go from here?" Kurt asked, knowing that
was the scariest question that Leo and Kurt both
didn't know how to answer.  The two stayed out in the
living room together in silence for the rest of the
night holding each other and mourning the loss of
their best friend, their big brother, their Nick.



To Be Continued...

 I know many are still upset over the loss of Nick,
but please keep reading because I promise that I did
this because I think it will ultimately serve to be a
good change for the story.

With any comments, questions or feedback please e-mail
me at ilj4ever44@yahoo.com.