Date: Tue, 31 Oct 2006 01:34:49 -0800 (PST)
From: Kirk Landers <ilj4ever44@yahoo.com>
Subject: Phases - part 4

Copyright and Disclaimer:
1. This is a fictional story with fictional
characters.
2. No one is to steal this story under any
circumstances.
3. This story deals with relationships and not sex, so
if you're looking for a story with a lot of sex in it,
this isn't the story for you.

Hope everyone is enjoying the direction this story is
taking.  Here is part 4 entitled ,"Feelings Unfold"

"FEELINGS UNFOLD"

It's been a week since Kurt and Scott broke up, a week
since Nick went on another bad date, and a week since
Leo and Jesse kissed.  Leo's kept his kiss with Jesse
a secret from the guys because he knew the other guys
wouldn't be happy with that surprise.  Today the guys
were hanging out at Kurt's apartment having lunch
together.  All of them decided to take the day off of
work and enjoy a day of doing what they wanted to do
and not worry about work.

"So nice to take a day off," Nick said taking a bite
of his salad. "I love doing my column, but sometimes
it just gets exhausting."

"I know what you mean," Kurt replied. "I've been
working on that short story non-stop it seems."

"How's it going?" Leo asked.

"It's going," Kurt replied. "I know what I want to
write and what I want to say, but because I know Ryan
reads my articles in the magazine so I have to
disguise it so he doesn't know it's about him."

"Still haven't told him you like him yet huh?" Nick
asked. "I thought that was the whole reason you broke
up with Scott."

"It's complicated," Kurt said. "He's with someone.
And I can't make things awkward between him and me.
After all, we do live together."

"True," Leo agreed. "Just let time unfold and see how
things go."

"Exactly," Kurt said.

"Hey Nick," Leo said changing the subject, "Jeremy
seems to be under the impression that you and him had
a good first date.  He wanted to know why you haven't
called him."

"Because he's a pervert," Nick replied.

"What?" Leo asked. "No he's not."

"He kept making sexual innuendos the entire night,"
Nick said. "He obviously was only interested in just
getting sex out of me that night and I'm not going to
put up with that again."

"I don't know what I'm going to tell him," Leo said.

"Tell him to not be such a pervert," Nick suggested.
"Did I tell you that I never want you to set me up on
a blind date again?"

"Believe me, I give up trying," Leo said. "You're on
your own finding a guy."

"Thank you," Nick said.

"So when are you going to back to the Gay and Lesbian
Center Leo?" Kurt asked.

"I was thinking of going in today," Leo replied. "I
was there a couple days ago and Ryan was really
cramming this week to get this big event set up for
the center."

"What is the event?" Nick asked.

"Its a food drive and we're also going to have some up
and coming gay and lesbian singers and bands
performing," Leo said. "It's a pretty big event."

"Sounds cool," Kurt said.

"You know," Leo suggested, "You should come and help
me."

"Yeah," Nick agreed. "You can go and spend some time
with Ryan."

"You think?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah," Leo said. "It'll be fun."

"I guess I could," Kurt said trying to hide his
excitement.

Leo's phone then began ringing.  He looked at the
caller ID and saw Jesse's name on it.  He quickly
silenced his phone and went back to eating, hoping the
guys wouldn't ask about it, but then...

"Who was that?" Kurt asked.

"Who was who?" Leo played dumb.

"Who was that calling?" Kurt asked again.

"Calling me?" Leo asked innocently.

"Why are you playing dumb?" Nick asked.

"I'm not playing dumb," Leo replied. "Have you thought
that maybe I just am dumb?"

"Starting to think so now," Kurt jabbed.

"Oh my God," Nick sighed realizing, "That was Jesse
huh?"

"Jesse who?" Leo tried one last time.

"Leo," Nick said sternly.

"Okay, so what if it was Jesse?" Leo asked.

"If it was no big deal then why were you trying to
hide it?" Kurt asked.

"Okay," Leo confessed. "If I tell you something, you
guys promise not to get upset?"

"Why don't you tell us what it is and we'll go from
there," Nick said.

"Last week Jesse came over," Leo said. "And we kind of
kissed."

"You kind of kissed?" Kurt asked.

"Okay, we made out," Leo said.

Nick rolled his eyes, "Leo, what are you doing?"

"What?" Leo asked. "I told you him and I were trying
to be friends right?"

"We're friends," Kurt said. "You never tried kissing
me."

"Do you want me to try and kiss you?" Leo asked
jokingly hoping to change the subject.

"Don't try and change the subject," Nick said.

"Nick, I really don't need a lecture right now," Leo
said.

"Leo, when you wanted to take a lot of time to grieve
over the break-up, I understand that," Nick said. "But
what you and Jesse are doing is not helpful for you."

"Are you two trying to work things out?" Kurt asked.

"I really don't know," Leo replied.

"Leo unless you two plan on working things out again
then just don't see him," Nick said. "It's not helping
you."

"Nick, it's tough for him," Kurt said sympathizing
with Leo.

"I know and I'm only being hard on him because I don't
want him to get hurt," Nick said.

"I understand and I appreciate it," Leo said giving
Nick a kiss on the forehead, "But let me do what I
want."

"That won't happen," Kurt joked.

"What?" Nick asked.

"Oh come on Nick," Kurt replied. "You know you're
always trying to tell us what to do."

"Are you saying I'm bossy?" Nick asked.

"Extremely," Leo added with a laugh.

"It's the 'big brother' type of personality you have
with us," Kurt said.

"And don't get us wrong," Leo said. "We appreciate it,
but you have to let us make our own decisions."

"And our own mistakes," Kurt said. "Leo, what you're
doing with Jesse, if it makes you happy then great,
but it sounds kind of risky to me."

"I know," Leo sighed.

Later that day Nick went to take some time to read and
relax while Kurt and Leo went to the Gay and Lesbian
Center.

"Are you sure it's okay for me to be here?" Kurt asked
as the two got out of the car.

"It's fine," Leo said. "I'm sure Ryan will be glad to
have another helping hand."

"You know," Kurt said. "This might all be kind of
pointless.  He's with Craig.  I'm not going to try and
break them up."

"Yeah, but at least if you spend some time with him
you'll see if there's any chemistry between you two,"
Leo said. "You can't be afraid to take some risks."

"I just don't want to complicate things," Kurt said.

"Kurt?" Ryan asked walking outside of the center.

"Go," Leo said pushing Kurt ahead of him.

"Hey Ryan," Kurt said walking up to him.

"I'm going to go inside," Leo said.

"Hey Leo, Lisa is in there, can you and her finish
things up for the event?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah, are you leaving?" Leo asked.

"Yeah, I've been here since seven this morning, I'm
just going to take the rest of the day to relax a
bit," Ryan said. "Hey Kurt, if you're not busy want to
hang out today?"

"Of course he's not busy," Leo said.

"I think I can speak for myself, thank you Leo," Kurt
said in gritted teeth.

"You interested?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah, sounds great," Kurt replied. "What did you have
in mind?"

"It might sound kind of boring to you, but I was
thinking of taking a walk on the beach," Ryan said.
"If it sounds dull to you, you don't have to come."

"Oh no," Kurt replied. "It's such a nice day today, a
walk on the beach sounds perfect."

"Great," Ryan smiled. "Come on, I'll drive."

"Awesome," Kurt replied as they walked to the car.

"I'm glad we're doing this," Ryan said getting into
the car.

"Why's that?" Kurt asked getting into the passenger's
seat.

"We've been living together for a few weeks now and
still haven't really hung out yet," Ryan replied.

"That's true," Kurt said. "Well I'm glad we're putting
an end to that."

"Me too," Ryan replied.

"Mind if I ask a personal question?" Kurt asked.

"What?" Ryan asked.

"Are you and Craig having problems?" Kurt asked.

"Why do you ask?" Ryan asked beating around the bush.

"Well, you've been home the past few nights, he hasn't
come over at all, and today you want to take a walk on
the beach.  Something that people usually do when they
want to go somewhere to think," Kurt said.

"You're good," Ryan said.

"What's up?" Kurt asked.

"It's just the same stuff him and I always fight
about," Ryan replied. "In the end I just think he
doesn't trust me."

"Well, maybe you should try and do something to prove
that he can trust you," Kurt suggested.

"The thing is," Ryan began, "I've never done anything
for him to not trust me.  I've been the best boyfriend
I could be to him, but it's never enough."

"I'm sure he means well," Kurt tried.

"Did I tell you that I pretty much lost touch with all
of my friends because of him?" Ryan asked.

"Why did you do that?" Kurt asked.

"Because he would always get jealous when I would go
out with them and not him," Ryan replied. "He pretty
much doesn't want me to have anyone else but him."

"I'm sure it's just his way of telling you how much he
loves you," Kurt said, even though he really wanted to
tell Ryan that Craig sounded like a freak.

"Do you want to know why he's mad at me this week?"
Ryan asked.

"Why?" Kurt asked.

"Because of Leo," Ryan replied. "I told him that he
was helping me out as a new volunteer and he got all
paranoid that I would try something with him."

"Leo?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah," Ryan replied. "I really don't know how much
more of this I can put up with."

"Do you want my advice?" Kurt asked.

"Please," Ryan answered.

Kurt was ready to tell Ryan to dump Craig, but he knew
that it would only be for his selfish reasons he was
saying it.  Instead he decided to take a more selfless
approach.

"Talk to him," Kurt said. "Explain to him that he has
to trust you and trust you wouldn't do anything like
that to him.  Let him know that his paranoia is just
making things worse for you two and not helping the
situation at all.  Just let him know that he's the one
you love."

"I don't know," Ryan sighed, "I think I'm about ready
to just move on."

Kurt looked out the window, he felt bad for Ryan, he
felt even worse that he was a little happy to hear
that Ryan might be single soon.  During this moment,
Kurt felt like he was the worst person in the world,
he dumped a perfectly nice guy like Scott and was now
hoping Ryan would dump Craig.  Kurt sat there in the
car realizing that he didn't deserve Ryan, he deserved
to be alone for thinking those thoughts.

Meanwhile, Nick was taking a walk in the park by his
apartment when he saw his ex, Luke, again.  Only this
time he didn't get away in time, Luke saw him.

"Hey Nick," Luke said walking up to him.

"Hi," Nick replied cooly.

"It's good to see you," Luke said.

"Wish I could say the same," Nick retorted.

"Nick, I didn't come up to you to fight," Luke said.

"Well then you shouldn't have come up at all," Nick
replied.

"Nick, I told you before that I'm sorry," Luke said.
"It just got too hard, when I got transferred to
Chicago it just got harder and harder to see you and
it just made more sense to be with someone who lived
there."

"Yeah, and then a month later you and him moved back
here together," Nick said. "You only took that job in
Chicago because things were starting to get serious
with us and you couldn't handle it."

"That's not true," Luke said.

"Yes it is," Nick replied. "We were together for over
a year and then when the idea of moving in together
came up you ran away."

"I'm not afraid of commitment," Luke said.

"Yes you are," Nick replied.

"Then explain why I'm still with Wayne," Luke shot
back.

Nick was taken aback by that, he knew that Luke had a
point, and that only made the truth harder to swallow.

"I guess you're right.  You weren't afraid of
commitment.  You were just afraid of commitment with
me," Nick said hurt.

"Nick," Luke sighed not wanting to make Nick feel bad.

"I have to go," Nick said turning around and walking
away.

"Wait, Nick," Luck shouted. "Come back."

But Nick just ignored him and kept on walking.

Later that day Kurt and Ryan arrived at the beach and
were walking along the shore together.

"So why did you and Scott break up?" Ryan asked.

"It just wasn't right," Kurt replied. "He was a great
guy and was very good to me, but I just didn't feel
that romantic feeling towards him."

"Yeah, if you don't feel those feelings towards
someone then it's pretty pointless," Ryan said.

"Exactly," Kurt replied. "And it would only hurt Scott
more if I stayed with him longer not returning those
feelings."

"It was for the best then," Ryan said.

"Yeah, it was," Kurt replied.

"So what are you going to do now as a single man on
the town?" Ryan joked. "Got some hot dates lined up?"

"Oh you know," Kurt replied. "One for each night."

"Just make sure you can squeeze in some time for me,"
Ryan said. "I might need a listening ear during this
time with Craig."

"Always," Kurt replied in a heartfelt way.

"Thanks," Ryan said putting his arm around Kurt.

"You know what you need to cheer up?" Kurt asked.

"What's that?" Ryan asked.

"A dip in the ocean," Kurt said pushing Ryan into the
waves.  Ryan ran up to a laughing Kurt drenched in
water.

"Think that was funny?" Ryan asked with a devious
smile.

"Very," Kurt replied.

"Won't be laughing if you go in with me," Ryan said
grabbing Kurt and pulling him into the ocean.

"No!" Kurt shouted, but still laughing.

David lifted Kurt up and jumped into the waves
drenching Kurt in water.  The two stayed in the ocean,
laughing and enjoying ones company.

Back at the center, Leo just got done with the stuff
him and Ryan were working on for the food drive when
Jesse showed up.

"Hey," Leo said as Jesse walked in the door. "How'd
you know I was here?"

"I was driving by and you said you volunteer here now
so I thought I'd try my luck and catch you," Jesse
said. "Why are you avoiding my phone calls?"

"I'm not avoiding your calls," Leo lied.

"I've been trying to call you all week," Jesse pointed
out.

"I'm sorry," Leo sighed, "I just didn't know how to
deal with what happened."

"Can we talk?" Jesse asked.

"Yeah," Leo replied. "I'm just finishing up here.
I'll meet you outside."

Leo went and got his things together and went outside
to meet up with Jesse.  When he got outside the sun
was setting, Ryan was sitting on a bench nearby
waiting for him.

"Hey, thanks for waiting," Leo said approaching him.

"Not a problem," Jesse replied. "I'm just glad I
finally got a hold of you."

"What is it you want?" Leo asked.

"I want to make sure we both know where we stand,"
Jesse replied.

"Okay," Leo said. "So what do you think of our kiss?"

"I think it was a mistake," Jesse replied.

"Yeah?" Leo asked, saddened by Jesse's response, it
wasn't the answer he was hoping to get from him.

"Yeah, we shouldn't go down that road again right?"
Jesse asked.

"Right," Leo lied.

"I mean, we just broke up so it's too soon for that,"
Jesse said.

"I guess so," Leo sighed. "Well, I guess I should go."

"That's it?" Jesse asked.

"What else is there left to say?" Leo asked. "You came
and said what you needed to say."

"Are you not happy about it?" Jesse asked.

"Do you expect me to be jumping up and down with joy?"
Leo asked getting pissed.

"Talk to me," Jesse said wanting to know Leo's
feelings.

"Do you want to know why I've been avoiding you all
week?" Leo asked.

"Yes," Jesse answered.

"It was because of this," Leo replied. "Because I
didn't want to hear you say what you just said to me.
I was hoping for..., well, it doesn't really matter
anymore."

"Leo," Jesse sighed feeling horrible for hurting his
feelings again.

"I'm going to go," Leo said. "Thanks for clearing up
the situation for me."

Leo then went and headed to his car and drove home.

 Nick walked around town, needed to calm down from his
run in with Luke.  He eventually found himself at a
local gay bar he normally went to with Kurt and Leo.
He wasn't normally one to drink alone, but considering
his day today, he felt he needed it.  Nick went inside
and up to the bar where, Max, the normal bar tender
was working.

"Hey Max," Nick said sitting down at the bar.

"Hey Nick, where the other guys?" Max asked.

"They're out doing their own things today," Nick
replied. "Can I get a beer?"

"No problem," Max said as he went to get Nick his
drink.  As Nick was waiting for his drink he saw
Randal.  He hadn't seen the two of them since the guys
went the opening night of Randal's club.  Randal saw
Nick and came up to him.

"Hey Nick," Randal said giving Nick a hug.

"Hey, how you doing?" Nick asked.

"Good," Randal replied. "It's good seeing you again."

"You too," Nick replied. "Where's your boyfriend?"

"Him and I had a little argument," Randal replied.
"Needed to come and get a drink.  Why are you drinking
alone?"

"Ran into my ex," Nick replied as Max handed him his
beer.

"Yeah, that definitely warrants a drink," Randal said.

"So how are things with you and your boyfriend besides
the fight you two had?" Nick asked.

"Good," Randal replied. "We got back together that
night of the club opening.  We had broken up for a
little bit.  I realized how much I loved him and
wanted him back in my life.  He's the one person whole
completes me."

"See," Nick sighed taking a sip of his beer. "Why
can't I find that?"

"Well, if you're still hooking up with guys like we
did that one night then of course you're not going to
find the one," Randal said.

"I don't hook up with guys," Nick said. "What we did
was a one time thing for me.  I just find it so hard
to open up to guys now."

"How so?" Randal asked.

"I have my guard up so much that I'm always worried
I'll get hurt again," Nick said. "It's tough being
single.  Especially when it seems like your friends
find love so easily."

"There's nothing wrong with being alone though,"
Randal said.

"I should believe that," Nick agreed. "I know that
it's not very empowering for me to think that I need
someone to be happy, but I can't help it.  I like
being with someone, having someone be happy to me with
me."

"It is nice," Randal sighed.

"Yeah, you should appreciate what you have with your
boyfriend," Nick said. "Whatever argument you two are
having now, just realize that in the long run, it
isn't worth getting upset over."

"You're right," Randal said getting up. "I should go
talk to him."

"Good luck," Nick said as Randal walked away.  Randal
headed for the door, but looked back and saw Nick
sitting by himself.

"Hey Nick," Randal said walking up to him. "Can I give
you some advice?"

"Yeah," Nick replied.

"I know it's tough being alone," Randal said. "It's
hard, especially with the holidays around the corner."

"Yeah," Nick sighed.

"It's tough now, but when you do meet the one, and you
will," Randal said. "You will be so happy and the
string of bad dates will all make the right guy be
that much more special and dear to you."

"Thanks," Nick said sincerely.

"Don't go looking for the right guy," Randal
concluded, "He'll come to you when the time is right."

Randal gave Nick a hug.

"Thanks Randal," Nick said.

"Take care Nick," Randal said.

"You too," Nick replied as Randal headed out.

Nick sat at the bar thinking about what Randal said to
him, maybe he was trying too hard to find the one,
maybe he should wait and let the one find him.

Kurt and Ryan headed back to Ryan's car soaked from
the ocean.  The two were still laughing and joking
around together.

"You're so lucky that I have towels in my car," Ryan
said opening the trunk of his car and handing Kurt a
towel.

"Thanks," Kurt said as he took off his wet t-shirt to
dry his upper body off.  Ryan took a moment to admire
Kurt's physique.  Before Kurt noticed he was looking
at him Ryan quickly averted his eyes and started to
dry himself off as well.

"Sunset is so beautiful," Ryan said looking out at the
sun setting on the ocean.

"Yeah," Kurt agreed. "It's so calming."

The two then turned and looked over at one another.
They didn't say a word, they both turned their bodies
to face one another and walked a step towards each
other so they were just inches apart.  They both then
began to lean in to one another, Ryan closed his eyes
as he moved closer.  Kurt was just about to do the
same when the thought of Craig entered his mind.  He
couldn't get past the guilt.

"So are you going to talk to Craig?" Kurt asked
breaking the moment between them.  Ryan quickly opened
his eyes and the two stepped back from one another.

"Yeah," Ryan sighed. "I guess I should."

"Yeah," Kurt said wishing so desperately that he
kissed him, if only the circumstances were better for
them.

"We should head home and get into some dry clothes,"
Ryan said.

"Sounds good," Kurt said as they got in the car and
drove back to the apartment in silence.

When Leo got home he went to lie down in bed, still
reeling from his talk with Jesse.  He decided he
couldn't take it, he needed to get away.  He picked up
his phone and called Nick.

"Hello?" Nick asked.

"Hey where are you?" Leo asked.

"I'm just leaving the bar right now and heading home,"
Nick replied.

"You want to take a trip?" Leo asked.

"A trip?" Nick asked.

"Yeah, you, Kurt and me," Leo suggested. "Lets all go
somewhere for a couple days."

"Where?" Nick asked.

"I don't know," Leo said. "We'll decide that in the
car."

"Leo, what's this all about?" Nick asked.

"I just need to go somewhere," Leo said.

"Why?" Nick asked.

"Because Jesse and I will never be together again,"
Leo said finally saying what he's been trying to deny
for so long.  His eyes began to water at the thought
of it. "I just need to go somewhere Nick."

"Okay," Nick said hearing the sadness in Leo's voice.
"I'll call when I'm done packing."

"Thanks," Leo said. "Can you call Kurt?"

"Of course," Nick said.

Back at the apartment Kurt had just finished taking a
hot shower and changing into some dry clothes.  When
he walked into the living room he saw Craig and Ryan
talking together in the living room.

"Oh sorry to interrupt," Kurt said entering the room.

"It's okay," Ryan said.

"Hey Kurt," Craig said.

"Hi Craig, how are you?" Kurt asked.

"I'm  a lot better now," Craig said holding Ryan's
hand.

"Good," Kurt said as he quickly went into the kitchen
to hide the unhappiness he was feeling.  Ryan looked
over at Kurt, longing that it was him he was sitting
with on the couch.  He thought the two had a shot, but
when Kurt suggested he talk to Craig it through him
off.

Kurt just finished making himself a sandwich when his
cell rang.

"Hello?" Kurt asked.

"Hey it's Nick."

"What's up?" Kurt asked.

"Pack your bags, you, Leo and I are going to take a
trip for a couple days," Nick said.

"Why?" Kurt asked.

"Leo needs this and he needs us there with him," Nick
replied.

That's all Kurt needed to hear, "Of course."

"Okay, pack your bag and meet me at Leo's," Nick said.

"All right," Kurt sighed.

"You okay?" Nick asked.

Kurt walked into the living room to head to his
bedroom when he saw Ryan and Craig kissing each other.

"Not great," Kurt sighed, "I could use a trip myself."

"See you at Leo's," Nick said.

"Okay, bye," Kurt replied hanging up.  Kurt went to
his room, he took one last look at Ryan and Craig
kissing before he closed the door to pack.  Kurt
quickly grabbed a bag and packed things he would need
for a couple days.  He put on his jacket and then
headed out. When he walked back into the living room
Ryan was sitting alone on the couch.

"Where's Craig?" Kurt asked.

"He's in the bathroom," Ryan replied, he then noticed
the bag. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to go on a trip for a couple days," Kurt
said.

"Where?" Ryan asked.

"I don't know," Kurt replied. "Last minute trip."

"I see," Ryan replied. "Hey Kurt, about earlier today
at the beach-"

"We don't need to go there," Kurt said interrupting
him.

"But-," Ryan began, but Kurt cut him off again.

"Really Ryan," Kurt said. "It's fine.  You were upset,
it was an easy thing turn to to hide the hurt you were
feeling over your fight with Craig.  But you two
worked things out, so that's great."

"Yeah, but-" Ryan tried again, but Kurt really didn't
want to hear it.

"Ryan," Kurt said. "I'd rather we didn't.  I'll see
you in a couple days."

Kurt then left and headed over to Leo's.  Craig came
out of the bathroom and sat down next to Ryan.  He saw
the upset look on his face.

"What's wrong?" Craig asked.

"Nothing," Ryan replied giving Craig a kiss.

Kurt and Nick arrived at Leo's apartment at the same
time.  They knocked on the door and Leo answered all
ready to go with his bag in hand.

"All right," Leo said. "Let's go."

"And where are we going?" Kurt asked.

"I'm not sure yet," Leo said.

"Who's driving?" Kurt asked.

"I'll drive," Nick answered.

"Great," Leo said. "Thanks."

The guys all got into Nick's car and sat in the
parking lot.

"So," Nick said. "Where are we going?"

****************************************************************************

To Be Continued....

With any comments, questions, or feedback please
e-mail me at ilj4ever44@yahoo.com.  Thanks for reading!