Date: Wed, 23 Jan 2008 14:44:30 -0800 (PST)
From: Kirk Landers <ilj4ever44@yahoo.com>
Subject: Phases- part 48

Copyright and Disclaimer:
1. This is a fictional story with fictional
characters.
2. No one is to steal this story under any
circumstances.
3. This story deals with relationships and not sex, so
if you're looking for a story with a lot of sex in it,
this isn't the story for you.


Hope everyone is doing well!  Here's part 48 entitled,
"Living Without You."  After this chapter I am
planning to write two more chapter and then this story
will be complete.  It's been a long journey writing
this story and I feel it's coming to a point where I
want to end it.  I hope you've all enjoyed this story
as much as I have enjoyed writing it.  It's been the
most fun I've had doing creative writing in a long
time and I hope it gave you all something to enjoy to
pass the time.

'LIVING WITHOUT YOU'

Three weeks have passed and Kurt hasn't spoken one
word to Ryan, Leo still has no clue about Jesse losing
his job and Jesse hasn't been able to find a new job
yet.  Ryan's been going crazy trying to fix the mess
he made with Kurt, but it's been made clear to him by
Kurt that he wants nothing more to do with him.

"I know what he did was bad, but you have to see the
other side of it," Leo said as Kurt helped him carry
in groceries into his kitchen.

"Ryan crossed the line," Kurt replied. "It just proves
that the idea of him and I trying to be friends was a
ridiculous idea.  I'm better off with him not in my
life."

"But he is in your life," Leo pointed out, "You two
still share an apartment."

"But we don't talk anymore," Kurt said, "Which is all
that matters."

"I don't see how you two can go on living together and
not talk to each other," Leo said taking a seat at the
kitchen table to drink a beer.

"It's easy," Kurt replied as he opened a can of beer,
"We just don't say a word when we're around each
other."

"What about when we all hang out together?" Leo asked.

"Name the last time we all hung out together," Kurt
replied.

"You're right," Leo realized, "It has been a while."

"Exactly," Kurt said. "So I don't think I have to
worry about that."

"I still think it won't work," Leo said.

"I'm going to change the subject now," Kurt said not
wanting to talk about Ryan anymore, "How are things
now that Mark is back?"

"Not as great as I thought they would be," Leo said.
"I thought Jesse would lighten up and go back to being
his usual self, but he hasn't.  He's still down all
the time and doesn't talk much.  He still doesn't want
to plan the wedding."

"Really?" Kurt asked surprised.

"Yeah," Leo sighed, "I'm starting to think it won't
happen."

"Don't say that," Kurt said. "You and him have been
through so much.  You'll get through this too."

"I don't know," Leo replied. "He's been so distant.  I
don't know what to do."

"Give it some more time," Kurt suggested.

"I've already given it plenty of time," Leo replied.
"I think I might be losing him."

"You're not losing him," Kurt said, "He loves you."

"Well something is wrong and he's not telling me," Leo
complained. "I don't know how much longer I can do
this."

"Come here," Kurt said giving Leo a hug.  He knew that
Leo wants to be with Jesse more than anything and he's
determined to see that his best friend gets what he
wants.

Meanwhile, Ryan was eating lunch with his dad and
talking about his problems with Kurt.

"I didn't mean to hurt him," Ryan sighed, "I just
really screwed things up."

"Try talking to him," Gordon offered.

"I have," Ryan said, "But he won't talk to me.  He
won't give me a chance to explain things to him."

"Sounds to me like you're not trying hard enough,"
Gordon said.

"What do you mean?" Ryan asked.

"If you want someone to listen, there are plenty of
ways to do so," Gordon replied. "You live with him so
it should make it that much easier."

Ryan stayed quiet, thinking of different ways to get
Kurt to listen to him.

"Besides," Gordon continued, "I need you and him
together in the same room tonight."

"Why?" Ryan asked.

"You'll see," Gordon replied. "Just tell him that I
need you two to be home tonight around seven."

"Okay," Ryan agreed, "You're not going to tell me
why?"

"You'll find out later," Gordon replied.

Ryan looked at his father with a raised eye brow,
curious to what he had up his sleeve.

    In the city, Jesse had come out of his fifth job
interview he had in a week.  Every ad agency he
interviewed with he was either under qualified or
'over qualified' (which he hated to hear the most,
because how can you be too qualified for a job?).  He
knew he was smart in putting a good chunk of his pay
checks into his savings account when he was working so
he had at least two months before Leo would realize
that Jesse wasn't bringing home any money anymore.  So
he had two months to find a job, but already had five
interviews and found no success.  What if he couldn't
find a job in the city?  He would have to come clean,
Jesse told himself.  He knew that if he had to look in
another city or worse another state for a job that he
had to tell Leo everything.  Jesse hated himself, he
hated that he had too much pride and humility to tell
Leo that he failed and that he was fired.  Jesse was
convinced that Leo would love him no matter what, but
he didn't want any sympathy.  He wasn't the type of
person who could deal with people giving him pity or
sympathy.  In order to not get that, he knew the only
thing for him to do was to keep on looking for a job
and keep on keeping it a secret from Leo.
    Jesse had his daily routine down to a science now.
 Every morning he would wake up and get dressed with
the appearance of him going to work.  He gave Leo a
kiss goodbye and then went to the diner where he would
call up ad agencies and people he knew in the business
and fish around for job openings and lining up
interviews.  He then would arrange the interviews so
he had plenty of time to go from one to the other.
When he first started this routine he felt he would
only do it for about a few days before some agency
would hire him and give him a salary that was
comparable to his last job, but this wasn't the case.
He found that all his interviews consisted of doubt by
the employers.  They all wondered why his old agency
let him go when he was once such a valuable employee.
They didn't want to risk taking a chance on him and
finding that he wasn't the valuable advertiser they
hoped to get.  So they all gave him polite smiles and
would end the interview with sentences such as ,
"We'll let you know," or "We'll call you," or "Well
call you if anything opens up," or "You're over
qualified."  He got a few "under qualified" comments
which he didn't mind because at least they told him
straight out he wasn't getting the job.
    As Jesse was walking out to his car he got a phone
call from Kurt.  Jesse was surprised, it's been a
while since him and Kurt talked.  Jesse answered the
phone with an upbeat, "Hey Bug."  He thought that
throwing in his old nickname for Kurt would make him
sound happier than he was.

"Hey, can I meet you for lunch?" Kurt asked.

"I guess so," Jesse replied. "Something wrong?"

"Sort of," Kurt replied. "I'll come by your office in
an hour."

"Oh no," Jesse said quickly.  He then covered, "I'm
about to leave work a little early today anyway.  How
about we meet at the diner?"

"Okay," Kurt said. "See you then."

Jesse hung up the phone curious to why Kurt wanted to
talk to him.

An hour later when Jesse arrived at the diner Kurt was
already sitting in a corner booth with a glass of
water waiting for him.

"Hey," Jesse smiled giving Kurt a hug, "Long time no
see.  How have you been?"

"I'm okay," Kurt replied.

"I know things have been tough since Josh died," Jesse
said. "I'm sorry I didn't come see you when I found
out."

"It's fine," Kurt said not wanting to talk about Josh,
it was still too tough for him.

"I've been distracted lately," Jesse added.

"That's what I want to talk to you about," Kurt said.
"I just came from hanging out with Leo.  He's on to
you."

"What do you mean?" Jesse asked busted, does Leo know
he got fired?

"He knows that you're trying to get out of the
wedding," Kurt said.

"What?" Jesse asked, clearly not aware that Leo felt
that way, "I'm not."

"That's not what he thinks," Kurt said. "He told me
that you've been pulling away from him.  He thinks
he's losing you."

"He's not," Jesse insisted, it pained him to think
that Leo really feels that he might not want to be
with him anymore. "Leo is the most important person in
the world to me."

"Then maybe you should show him that," Kurt said. "He
shouldn't feel left out like this."

"I know," Jesse sighed, "But I've been going through
some stuff."

"What could you possibly be going through that you
can't talk to Leo about?" Kurt asked.

"It's complicated," Jesse replied not wanting to say
too much.

"Then un-complicate it," Kurt said. "Jesse, I love
you.  You've always been a great friend to me, but I
need you to talk to me.  What is it you can't tell
Leo?"

"Aw Bug, it's hard to say," Jesse sighed.

"Jesse, Leo is my best friend," Kurt said. "Since Nick
died I've been more protective of him than ever, so
promise me you're not doing something that can hurt
him."

"I can promise you that I'm not trying to hurt him,"
Jesse said.

"That's not good enough," Kurt said. "Jesse, whatever
you're doing, you need to come clean to Leo.  If you
hurt him, I'll never forgive you."

"Looks like you've been doing a lot of that lately,"
Jesse shot at Kurt, doing anything to change the
subject, even if it meant getting in a fight with him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kurt asked.

"You and Ryan," Jesse replied. "Are you just cutting
people out of your life left and right?"

"Do you even know what he did?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah and frankly I think you're being an ass," Jesse
replied. "Don't you see that he only did that
because-"

"I don't want to hear it," Kurt said getting up.

"Oh sure, when it comes to other people you want them
to be up front and honest, but when it's yourself you
run and hide," Jesse said. "Face it Kurt, you and me,
we're the same.  So don't tell me what to do until you
can face you're own problems."

"Fine," Kurt said giving up, "Do what you want.  But
if Leo gets hurt then I want you gone.  I want you no
where near him because he deserves someone who will be
honest with him."

Kurt and Jesse have never fought before, even when
Jesse and Leo broke up years ago the two stayed close
with one another.  Neither one of them wanted to fight
with each other, but neither one wanted to deal with
what they were going through either.

That afternoon when Jesse got home he saw Leo sitting
on the couch sleeping.  He went and sat on the couch
next to Leo and gave him a soft kiss on the forehead.
He had to say the words out loud just to see what it
would sound like if he came clean.

"Leo, I have to tell you something," Jesse said
quietly, "I lost my job a while ago and have been
lying to you.  I've been going on job interviews and
haven't found anything and I honestly don't know what
I'm going to do."

Leo quietly stirred and slowly opened his eyes.  Jesse
looked at Leo in a panic, did he hear him?

"Leo?  You awake?" Jesse asked worried.

"Hi," Leo smiled, "Did you say something earlier?"

"No," Jesse covered, "I didn't.  I just got home."

 "Oh," Leo sighed. He then changed the subject.  "So
remember when I had that meeting with Golden Treasures
Productions?"

"That small film company?" Jesse asked.

"Yeah," Leo replied.

"You interviewed for that internship right?" Jesse
asked.

"Yeah," Leo replied. "Well, they called me and asked
if I was still interested in interning with them."

"Oh?" Jesse asked surprised. "Why did it take them so
long to get back to you?"

"I guess they had over three hundred candidates for
only five internships available," Leo explained, "So
they finally decided and I'm one of them."

 "That's great," Jesse said giving Leo a kiss. "So how
much does it pay?"

"Well, that's the thing," Leo replied. "It's a
non-paying internship, but it's a six month long
internship and if they like me they said there is an
employment opportunity."

"Wow," Jesse said trying to sound excited, but knew
that a non-paying internship would really hurt the
both of them since neither one would be bringing in an
income.

"I know it's going to be a little tight if I quit my
job at the Center and take the internship, but it's a
step in the right direction for me I think," Leo said.
"And besides, you don't really seem to be into doing
the wedding anytime soon, so now we don't have to.  We
can just wait until I get a job with the company and
then we can start planning the wedding."

"What makes you think I don't want to plan the
wedding?" Jesse asked.

"Well, you haven't done anything," Leo replied. "I've
tried to go over stuff with you, but you never seem
interested.  So now you don't have to, not for a
little while longer anyway."

"But I do want to plan it," Jesse said covering.  He
knew it was horrible, but if he could just get Leo to
keep his job at the Center a little longer it would
give him more time to find a job.

"Since when?" Leo asked.

"Since always," Jesse replied. "Come on, let's plan it
now."

"Jesse, we can't now," Leo replied. "With me taking
the internship we won't have the money to do it now."

"So you're really taking the internship?" Jesse asked.

"Yeah," Leo replied. "Don't you think I should?"

Jesse looked Leo in the eyes and saw how much Leo
wanted this opportunity, he couldn't say no.

"Absolutely," Jesse replied. "You're right, we can
plan the wedding later."

"Perfect," Leo said, he really wanted to do the
internship, but at the same time was a bit sad that
the wedding was now postponed for another six months
at least.  Jesse meanwhile, started to panic, he now
realized that he didn't have the time he thought he
would have to find a job.  He needed one, now.

Kurt came home around seven.  Ryan was sitting at the
kitchen table eating dinner.  Kurt barely glanced at
Ryan before heading to his bedroom.

"Wait," Ryan said stopping Kurt. "My dad is going to
be here in any second and he wants to talk to you and
me."

"Me?" Kurt asked, "Why?"

"I don't know," Ryan replied. "But he said it's
important."

"Fine," Kurt said taking a seat in the living room to
wait.

"So how was your day?" Ryan asked trying to make small
talk.

"Seriously?" Kurt asked annoyed that Ryan even thought
he could talk to him.

"Never mind," Ryan rolled his eyes.

 The two sat quietly waiting for Ryan's dad to show
up.  Kurt glanced over at Ryan and for the first time
since he met him he didn't see the man he loved so
much for so long, he didn't see the person he trusted
more than anyone, he didn't see the man he felt safest
with, instead all he saw was the man who hurt him so
deeply and who did something completely unforgivable.
Maybe it was what Kurt needed, he thought.  Maybe this
is what he needed to finally move on from Ryan
completely.  After another couple minutes of silence
there was a knock on the door.  The two both took a
sigh of relief that the silence was interrupted.  When
Ryan opened the door he was surprised to not only see
his dad, but Kurt's mom, Monica.

"Hey Ryan," Monica said giving Ryan a hug.

"Hey Monica," Ryan said surprised, "What are you doing
here?"

"Your father and I came together," Monica replied.

"You did?" Ryan asked confused.

"Mom?" Kurt asked surprised giving her a hug, "I
didn't know you would be here."

"Well, Gordon and I wanted to talk to the both of
you," Monica said.

Kurt greeted Gordon with a hug and the four of them
all sat in the living room together.  Gordon and
Monica sat close to one another facing Ryan and Kurt
who sat on the same couch as far away from each other
as possible.

"What's going on?" Ryan asked.

"Well, your father and I have some news for you,"
Monica replied.

"Kurt, Ryan, I asked Monica to marry me and she said
'yes,'" Gordon announced.

"What?" Kurt and Ryan both asked in alarm at the same
time.  Kurt looked at his mom's ring finger on her
left hand and sure enough there was a big diamond
ring.  It was at least three carats.

"I didn't even know you two were dating," Kurt said.

"Now we know it's sudden," Gordon said.

"Really sudden," Ryan added.

"But we know it's right and at our age we figure, why
wait?" Monica said.

"How long have you two been dating?" Kurt asked.

"Since we met each other on Thanksgiving," Monica
replied.

"And you never told me?" Kurt asked, "We tell each
other everything Mom."

"I didn't want to say anything until I knew it was
right," Monica replied.

"So how about some champagne?" Gordon asked.  Gordon
and Monica went to the kitchen and Monica found a
bottle of champagne in the refrigerator.  Walking over
Kurt turned to Ryan angry.

"Did you know this and not say anything?" Kurt
whispered.

"Of course not," Ryan snapped back. "Besides, even if
I did I wouldn't have been able to tell you because
you don't want me talking to you."

"Shut up," Kurt said.  When the two were within
hearing distance from Monica and Gordon they both put
on a fake smile on their face and accepted the glasses
of champagne that Monica handed them.

"So, a toast to extending the family," Gordon said
raising his glass, "I thought I was lucky enough to
get my son back and now I'm lucky to add a wife to the
picture too."

"Congratulations Dad," Ryan said giving his father a
hug.

"And we have a huge favor to ask of you," Monica said
to the boys. "We want you to help us plan the wedding
in three weeks."

"Three weeks?" Kurt asked, "Why so soon?"

"Well, we're both older and don't want to have a big
elaborate ceremony so we saw no point in waiting,"
Monica replied. "So will the two of you work together
and help us out?"

Kurt and Ryan both looked at each other knowing this
was not going to be a fun experience for either one of
them.

The next day, Kurt came out of his room in the morning
and went into the kitchen to get coffee where Ryan was
already waiting for him.

"So what are we going to do?" Ryan asked. "We have to
plan this thing together."

"Yeah," Kurt replied pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"It's going to be hard to do this if you don't talk to
me," Ryan said.

Kurt stood quietly, his back turned from Ryan,
thinking how he was going to be able to do this.  How
was he going to plan a wedding with Ryan?

"Kurt, how many times do I have to apologize to you
before you start to believe me?" Ryan asked. "We can't
plan a wedding like this."

"Fine," Kurt said turning to face Ryan, "We'll set up
some rules."

"Rules?" Ryan asked curiously.

"Yeah," Kurt answered, "We'll set up rules.  Here's
the deal, if we have to talk to each other, it will
only be about wedding details.  Nothing else.  No
small talk.  No more apologies that are meaningless.
Nothing.  Just wedding details.  Agreed?"

"Agreed," Ryan shrugged.

"Okay then," Kurt said. "Well, I'll make a list of
stuff for us to do and we'll split it up evenly and go
from there."

"Sounds good," Ryan said.

Kurt started to head back to his room when Ryan spoke
again, "Kurt, I really want to talk about Josh."  Kurt
sharply turned to face Ryan with a  look of hurt in
his eyes.

"One more rule," Kurt said. "Never say his name
again."

Kurt then turned back and went to his room.  Ryan put
his face in his hands, defeated.  Will Kurt ever
forgive him?

Two weeks passed and Leo was starting his internship
with Golden Treasures.  That morning he woke up extra
early, too excited to sleep any longer.  He showered
and got dressed in his best work clothes.  While he
was in the bedroom getting ready Jesse was in the
kitchen on the phone with Robin, a former co-worker of
his.

"So I fished around for you and found you something,"
Robin said.

"What?" Jesse asked excited.  "What is it?"

"It's about the same thing you did when you worked
here and the pay is around the same," Robin replied.

"Can you set up an interview?" Jesse asked anxious.

"No need," Robin replied. "They said they would hire
you.  I gave you a good reference."

"Robin, thank you," Jesse said. "You are saving my
ass."

"There's a catch though," Robin replied.

"What is it?" Jesse asked.

"It's not here," Robin replied.

"It's not in LA?" Jesse asked, "That's okay.  I can
deal with that."

"No," Robin replied. "I don't think you really
understand.  It's not in the state."

"Whoa Robin," Jesse sighed.  He knew it was too good
to be true.

"It's in Chicago," Robin replied.

"Robin, how am I supposed to do that?" Jesse asked.

"Hey, it's all I could find," Robin replied.

Before Jesse could respond Leo came out of the bedroom
all dressed for his internship.  Jesse saw the
excitement in Leo and knew that the only way Leo could
continue with this internship is if Jesse had a job.

"I'm going to get going," Leo said giving Jesse a
kiss. "I'll see you tonight."

Leo then excitedly walked out of the apartment leaving
Jesse a moment to think things over.   He knew he had
to take the job.  He just didn't know how he was going
to pull it off yet.  What was he going to tell Leo?
It didn't matter right now.  All that mattered was
that he was working, and if this was his only option,
it's what he had to do.

"So what do you say?" Robin asked.

"I'll take it," Jesse replied.

Later that day, Kurt had left speaking with the
caterers about the wedding and was overwhelmed.  It
wasn't the wedding he was overwhelmed with, it was
working with Ryan that has been stressing him so much.
 Every day for the past two weeks the two have been
working side by side, doing everything from picking
out the perfect cake, meeting with the florist,
working out the menu for the food, one thing after
another he was side by side with Ryan.  Finally, he
reached a point where he needed to get away.  He
needed to see someone, he needed to escape Ryan and he
could only thing of one place to go.
    As he walked up the familiar driveway all he could
think about was escaping.  And he knew this person
would give him that escape he needed.  When he was in
front of the door he knocked cautiously and waited.  A
few moments passed and he heard the door unlock and
open.

"Hey," Kurt said.

"Hi," Gab replied, surprised to see Kurt standing in
front of him.

"Can I come in?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah, sure," Gab replied opening the door up for Kurt
to enter.

Kurt walked inside and Gab closed the door behind him.



To Be Continued...

With any comments, questions or feedback, please
e-mail me at ilj4ever44@yahoo.com.  Thanks so much!
My best!