Date: Mon, 4 Mar 2002 23:09:13 -0800 (PST)
From: Paul Jennings <success66@yahoo.com>
Subject: Prarie Passions

Okay guys, here's the first in what I hope are a long
line of stories.  This is first one isn't really all
that sexy but sets up some background info for the
future stories.

I should say that all the names have been changed to
protect the innocent...or the guilty, depending on who
they are.  Also, you should know that this is
semi-autobiographical.  All the experiences, unless
otherwise noted, are from my history.

Please feel free to offer feedback.

Thanks!

Paul

At almost 36 years old, Paul couldn't believe it was
his reflection he saw in the mirror.  Tired and
blurry-eyed, he scratched his patch of chest hair as
he tried to make sense of where his life has led him.


"God," he muttered silently, "I'm so fuckin' fat.  No
wonder I don't want to meet up with anyone, why would
they want a whale like me".

Paul moved to the shower, starting the water.  Damn,
he thought, got to have that water pressure looked at
again.  Paul took off his jockey shorts and stepped
into the weak, but warm, stream of water.  He forgot
to take a piss so he released in the shower.  He hated
doing that but he wasn't willing to hold it for the
duration.  He let the water slowly cascade over his
form before waking enough to get the soap lathered on
his sponge and began scrubbing.  He finished by
washing his hair, shutting off the poor excuse for
water pressure, and toweling off.

The air temp was cool.  He tried to get the room
warmed up before his shower but with the cats
scratching at door, he didn't want them to wake his
wife.  Not that they would have ever woke her, but he
still didn't want to risk it.  He needed this quiet
time before his wife and kids woke.

Paul got dressed in a black cotton short sleeve shirt
and a pair of black jeans.  The shirt was kind of
clingy but he didn't mind because it didn't hug him.
He hated banded shirts and he really hated small
shirts.  He dug around the room for his black socks.
"Fuck, another thing to get done" he cussed as he
looked around the room at the piles of clean clothes
that needed to be pressed, folded, and put away.
Normally Paul wouldn't get dressed but for some reason
he just wanted to be prepared.

Just as he made his way out of the bedroom, the radio
went off in their room.  He stepped back inside to hit
the snooze button.  That would give Lisa, his wife,
another 9 minutes of sleep.

Paul made his way down the skinny, dark hallway of his
double-wide trailer.  Again, he cussed at the amount
of laundry piled along the floor.  He continued until
he got to the bathroom located at the end of the
hallway.  He lifted his shirt, put on some deodorant,
put gel in his hair leaving it kind of messed up, and
put some cream on his face to combat the dryness on
his forehead and cheeks.  Since the kids and the cats
shared this bathroom, he made a note to change the cat
box later.

He finally made it to his destination of the living
room.  He found the familiar black spiral bound book
and opened it.  Today's prayers would be replaced by a
need to journal.  He didn't feel all that spiritual
today anyway.  He felt like he needed to write...and
write he did.

March 5, 2002

"I can't believe that in 17 days I turn 36.  I just
can't believe it.  Another year has passed and I
haven't got anything to show for it.  You know, it's
kind of sad to be a has-been before you ever a star.
Here I sit, no job, no income, no degree, what am I
doing?

Lisa and I had another go around yesterday.  This time
her mom got involved.  While I was out looking for a
job, Lisa's mom grilled her about what was the deal.
Why we weren't making it financially and what I was
using the money for that we borrowed.  I flat out told
Lisa that the times we have used the money to get
ourselves in a better position, we still end up
"robbing Peter to pay Paul."  Lisa finally confessed
she's trying hard not to throw me out but maybe that's
what we need to do.  Maybe it's time for a
separation."

Paul heard the alarm go off again.  He heard Lisa stir
and hit the snooze once more.  It would only be a
short time before Gerrit wakes up and the day would be
under way.  He closed his journal.  That was about it
for the day.

Paul felt oddly energized by his short written
release.  He put his journal back and went into
Gerrit's room and got him up.  Being unemployed did
have its benefits, but it also had its drawbacks.

The next hour or so was busy.  Lisa finally got up and
got herself going for the day.  Paul wrestled with
Gerrit's insistent need to be pokey in the morning but
finally he got Gerrit on track.  Finally Anne woke up.
 Anne was fun in the mornings.  She was a rolley
polley of a thing and easy to get dressed.  Even
though he wasn't working full time, Paul still took
Anne to daycare half days to keep socialized.  It also
gave him time to get housework done and look for jobs.

Once Gerrit was off to school, Lisa was off to work,
and Anne was safely nestled in at daycare, Paul
returned home.  Paul got to work on the dishes.  After
quickly making light work of them, he moved on to
getting the cat litter changed.  He decided to wash
the entire bathroom down.  What was to be a 5-minute
task turned into 30 minutes, but at least it was done.

Next Paul worked on the dirty laundry.  Thankfully
they were in piles so he just washed a load as the day
went through, only to stop and fold and put away
clothes as they were finished.

"Wow, it's 11:00 a.m." Paul was please with himself.
"I'd better take some time to do some looking."

Paul signed on to his computer.  While he waiting for
it to boot up, he threw a classic Elton John CD into
his player.  He turned up the volume.  He went to the
kitchen and got himself a glass of ice water and went
back to the computer.

Even though he was unemployed, there were a couple of
vices he kept going.  His cable modem was one.  He
loved the speed and the "always-on" access.  He
quickly clicked on the icon and went searching the job
sites, there was just one problem: Paul didn't want to
search for jobs right now.

>From under his belly, he felt the stirring of his
cock.  His dick was another reason why he didn't like
his body.  He never bothered to measure it, he just
always complained that his dick was "teenie weenie"
and that was it.  Anyway, he started to search his
usual free porn site he had kept hidden from his
family but even that wasn't enough for him.

He needed a "real time" experience.  Paul sighed and
hit the "home" button on his search engine.  He
decided it was a waste of time.  He would look for
jobs instead.

Later that day, Paul was restless.  He had picked up
Anne from daycare.  She was still small enough where
she took a pretty sizable nap in the afternoon.
Gerrit wouldn't be home from school until 3 p.m.   He
tried to nap since he was tired, but he couldn't.  His
mind was busy thinking.  He was remembering a day not
long ago...

It was a cool, bright October day when Paul went over
to Robert's house. Paul loved the neighborhood.  The
district was nestled between a hospital and a park
which had many old and grand houses with beautiful
trees that lined the streets.  On this particular day,
the sun illuminated the fiery reds and yellows of the
fall foliage.  Paul had his window open and could
smell the presence of fall as the cool wind blew on
his face.

Robert was a very special friend of Paul's.  He was
the pastor of the local gay church and also owned a
cleaning service with his roommate Michael.  Robert
was in his 40's with grey thin hair, a curly beard and
brown eyes.  Robert wasn't the cutest thing but he was
very passionate and kind.  Robert had been a constant
source of support through Paul's struggle to leave his
wife.  Paul has made a point to distance himself from
Robert in the physical sense.  It was just easier that
way.  Paul wanted a platonic relationship.

Paul walked into the house.  Its dark wood floors were
reflecting the warm fall sun's rays as Paul called for
Robert.  The smell of baking was in the air.  Paul
took in the aroma, wishing he could stay for supper,
but knowing that wouldn't happen.

Robert was busy getting ready for one of his
roommate's birthday dinner.  It was some chocolate
cake concoction that was requested.  It seemed that it
was a group effort.  One roommate baked the cake and
Robert was responsible for the frosting.

"In here, dear," a voice called from the kitchen. Paul
rounded the corner to see Michael, Antoine, and
Robert.

"Oh I'm so excited," exclaimed Antoine.  "Today is my
birthday and I can't wait!  Can you come tonight?"

Paul shook his head no.  Antoine knew full well why.
"When are you going to dump the bitch and make the
switch?"  Paul just rebuffed his comment leaning over
to give him a hug and wish him a happy birthday.

"Well I should be off, I have a few preparations for
tonight," and with that Antoine was gone.

"Well Paul, when are you going to finally allow
yourself to be happy?" asked Michael.

"Not today, please" pleaded Paul.

"Very well but you are going to have to answer it very
soon."  With that comment Michael was gone too.

>From the very small and cramped kitchen quarters,
Robert was just staring.  He had a smirk on his face
as he whipped the frosting.  Paul could tell he had
been drinking a little bit of wine already.  Robert
knew not to rub salt into Paul's wounds.  Robert
changed the subject.

"So what have you been doing today?"

"Well, Gerrit is off with my parents and Lisa's
someplace not to be found.  We had a soccer game this
afternoon.  We won.  It was a beautiful day and
thought I'd drop by to see you."

"Well that's nice, you can watch me frost this cake.
Do you want something to drink?"

"No, well maybe some water, but no wine."  Paul
reached for a glass and filled his glass from the
faucet.  "What kind of cake is that?"

"It's a black forest cake, and I'm just about
finished."

Paul silently watched as Robert carefully mixed the
ingredients for the icing.  Finally, he was finished
but the mixer had to finish its work.

With out so much of a warming, Robert put his hands
around Paul's ample body and gave him a hug.  Paul
returned the gesture.  Paul couldn't deny it felt
good.  Robert didn't break the hug but instead started
to kiss on Paul's neck.  Paul stiffened up and tried
breaking away but Robert's squeeze remained firm.

Paul felt the brush of Robert's beard and his soft
lips as the kissed his ears.  Paul knew this feeling
but it had been awhile.  He couldn't figure out why he
was having difficulty with it.  Eventually, Robert
came around to Paul's lips.  Slowly, Robert kissed
Paul's lips, slowly prying open Paul's mouth with his
tongue.  Paul relented.  He wanted this kiss.  Their
tongues danced around in a dance.  Paul could taste
the wine on Robert's breath but didn't mind.  He was
intoxicated by this show of passion.  Slowly Robert
broke his squeeze and moved away from Paul.

Paul was standing dazed.  His sensory nerves on
overload.  He didn't know what to think or say, or...

"Why the fuck did you do that," Paul blurted out.  It
wasn't that he was angry, but surprised.

"Because I thought you needed it.  Whether you want to
admit it or not, you are a great kisser.  I can
imagine what you're like in bed.  In my experience if
a guy is good at kissing, he's great in bed."  Robert
moved away back to the mixer.

Paul still was at a loss for words.  He liked what
just happened, but he didn't understand his feelings.
He was numb for a minute.

Again, Paul leaned against the sink and watched as
Robert reached for a knife to apply the frosting.
Robert dipped his finger in the frosting for a taste.
He then took another finger and dipped it again and
offered it to Paul.  Paul wasn't going to waste this
opportunity.

As Robert's finger entered Paul's mouth, Paul swirled
his tongue around the digit and began sucking firmly
so as to give Robert an oral sensation that would make
him wonder what Paul really was like in bed.  Paul
reached over, as he continued to suck on the finger,
and grabbed Robert's crotch.  Paul was pretty sure if
he continued, he would have done Robert right there in
the kitchen, but it didn't go that far.  He released
both the finger and Robert's crotch.

Now it was Robert who stood dazed.  A slow, evil, yet
horny grin grew across Robert's face.  I got him, Paul
thought to himself.

Paul backed up and to let Robert finish his job.
Robert reached for a frosting knife and began to frost
the cake.  Slowly turning and applying the frosting,
the brown cake became a creamy site that was checked
over by both Paul and Robert for any bald spots.

Robert put the bowl in the sink and ran some water in
it.  When he was finished, he reached over and
squeezed one of Paul's tits.  He began lifting the
tucked shirt out of Paul's pants and started rubbing
his hands over the tummy and chest covered with light
brown hair.

Paul couldn't take this anymore and finally asked
Robert to stop.

"Why?" as Robert continued to play with Paul's tits.

"Because, one of your roommates might be home soon,
and besides, this is wrong.  You're getting me
frustrated and no way to find release."

"Well the roommates won't care and as for you, that's
my point exactly."

Paul and Robert continued kissing and playing with
each other's chests until Antoine was spotted coming
up the back path.

"Well, I should be going," Paul straightened up as
Antoine walked in through the back porch.

"Are you sure, there's plenty here for you?" Robert
said with a smirk.

"No I should go."

Paul gave Robert a quick hug and once again wished
Antoine a happy birthday and left the house.

As he made his way down the front steps of the house
back into the warm fall sun, Paul felt a familiar
wetness in his crotch.

"Damn, what am I supposed to do about that?"