Date: Tue, 14 Feb 2006 00:03:14 -0800 (PST)
From: Rommel Ronsairo <rmlrnsr_8@yahoo.com>
Subject: researching my sexuality 2

Provision: The story involves sexual interaction between consenting male
adults, contains words that are not suitable for minors and is intended for
mature reading only.  If you are either offended or against by the contents
of this story; or if you are a MINOR, please STOP reading now. This story
is purely fictional and implies no specific knowledge of the celebrities
who are described.


Researching my sexuality - Part 2

As I was driving home, I can't help but feel a little excitement about
what might happen on Friday night. I smiled and reminded myself that it
is just going to be a friendly dinner date, nothing to be sexcited about.
After saying that, I laugh a little and told myself that I really need to
go out more often.
That night, I went to bed feeling a little different, different in a good
way. I guess because of the fact that it'll be my first date. And that
there's something I am really looking forward to that weekend.

"I was thinking of maybe taking you with me."  Steve said.
I stopped chewing and looked at him. He smiled when he noticed that I was
taken aback to what he said.
He then finished his sentence and said, "To Chicago, I need someone who
can help me reorganized our research lab there."
"Oh, right." trying to hide my embarrassment. I remember that we
recently acquire a smaller company in Chicago. I continued eating my
sandwich, but then I felt that he's still looking at me. I glance at him
and confirmed that he really is. I also noticed that there's also a grin
at his face. I took the dare and stared back at him. Looking at those
eyes, those blue eyes that I fell in love with. A lot of people said that
he looks like John Schneider; and they were right, the hair, the eyes,
and the built.
"Would you go with me?" he ask with a smile
"Of course, if you think I could help." I wanted to add anything for
you Steve; but I kept it to myself.
"There's just one problem." he replied, now with a serious look on his
face. "What about your dinner date with Lee?"
"How did you know about that?" I asked
"That's not important, what important is if you're willing to cancel
that date since we are leaving on Friday morning."
I looked at down at my sandwich and still thinking of the right words to
say.
"Be with me, Eric?" he then hold my left hand and squeezed it a little.
"...Please, I need you."
I looked at his eyes and saw him pleading and somewhat hoping.
How could I say no to him; how could I resist those eyes.
"I...I...I...." ... and that's when I woke up, sweating a little. That
dinner date has really affected my whole being. I tried to go back to
sleep but had a hard time.

The next morning, I can barely concentrate on what I'm doing. I'm still
thinking of the dream I had last night. I never had a sweet dream, well,
maybe once or twice, but not as sweet as that one. I know it was just a
dream, but the thought that I was choosing between the two men I love
made me feel like I'm in heaven. I guess what made it really special is
the fact that it was the first time that I dreamed of Steve, and I often
wondered why. I think of him just as often as I think about Lee. I
remember a friend told me that if you think about someone all the time,
there's a good chance that you'll dream about that person.
"It is only Thursday you know." I didn't see Cyril entered the lab.
"What did you say?" I asked him
"I said it's only Thursday." Cyril repeated what he said and added,
"So, are you excited about your date tomorrow night?"
"What to be so excited about, it's just a friendly date." I insisted
"Yeah, yeah, you two are going to a sports bar, have a drink while
watching a baseball game." he has this funny facial expression so I
laughed.
He shook his head and said, "Anyway what about your other someone. I
thought that in your heart, he weighs just as much as Lee? Does he weigh
less now?"
I know whom he is referring to; it's Steve. I think about what he said
for a minute and then he broke the silence  "See, I made you think."
and then he smiled.
"But, there's nothing to think about, Eric. You told me before that you
like Lee first. I think your feelings for him got shifted to Steve
somehow because you two never really engage in a conversation until my
divine intervention."  he then laugh a little.
"Divine intervention, it was more like definitive incursion." I almost
yelled at him
I recall the day he intervene and how it all started. The very first time
I saw Lee was on my second day at work. He was fixing something in the
lab. His presence is really eye catching, at least for me. He was wearing
tight jeans, polo shirt, and dark brown leather shoes. He was so busy at
what he's doing that I got a chance to observe him from a distance
without being obvious. He stood tall and seems to be always sure of
himself when talking to co-workers. I thought that he was the most
handsome man I saw in my life. We didn't get to converse though, only a
simple "hi" and "hello" when we pass each other in the hallway. For
more than a year, that's all I could do, admire him from a distance. We
started conversing only a year ago. And that's because Cyril found out
that I have a crush on him. I guess that "looking from a distance"
wasn't as unapparent as I thought it was. Cyril didn't tell me right
away that he knew. He said he wanted to make sure first. He and Lee are
good acquaintances. They both started working here a couple of years
earlier than me. So when he saw the opportunity to test how I would react
close to Lee, he didn't waste any time. He was laughing out so loud
after Lee left the two of us.
"You like him, you like him!" and then started laughing again.
I looked around checking if anyone heard him. I was relieved to know that
there's no one else there.
"What are you saying? I don't like him!" I defended myself
"You're stammering all the time the three of us were talking, plus you
can't even looked straight at him." Cyril added with a big smile on his
face
"Don't you dare mention that to anyone."
Cyril just continued to laugh so I told him again. "I'm serious
Cyril."
"Oh, don't worry your secret is safe with me." he said after he
noticed how serious I was.
We continued walking and as we turn right in the next section of the
hallway, we were surprise to see Lee checking the fire extinguisher
mounted on the wall near the lab entrance.
"What's up guys?" looking directly at me with a smile on his face.
"We're just having a funny but interesting conversation, aren't we
Eric?" Cyril answered
"Right, let's get going our work is waiting." I almost drag him away
from Lee.
"See you, Lee!" Cyril said and then waved his hand.
"See you guys, later." I heard Lee answered, I'm not sure if he waved
back since I didn't look back. I just wanted to take Cyril away from
there.

With Steve, it was different. The feelings I have for him were developed.
We worked together a lot of times, since he's the Manager for Special
Projects. I'm guessing; he's around 38. Tall, broad shoulders and good
built. On top of that, he's a very nice person, and very approachable.
When he laughs, it seemed to echo all around, so you couldn't help but
laugh with him too. He really has certain qualities that anyone will
admire.
And that's what happened to me, before I realize it; I had this strange
new feeling for him that I never felt before. We've become close or
rather I tried to be closer to him whenever I have a chance. We joke
around, talk about sports. He was the one who introduced me to the world
of baseball. I noticed how much he likes the sport so I tried to learn
everything about it. I think he somehow knew that I like him, to what
extent, I'm not really sure. He in his own way tried to reciprocate what
I'm feeling in a friendly way and never more than that. I always
reminded myself about who he is; he is a straight guy who is engage to be
married.

"Hello, earth to Eric." Cyril tapped me on the shoulder. "See, this is
what happens when you fall for straight guys. One is married and the
other one is soon to be married. It'll make you crazy." he added.
"You're right, Cyril, there is nothing to talk about. Friday night is
just a friendly date. And I am just attracted to Lee and Steve. You said
it yourself before, I have crush on them, meaning just an attraction."
I said it lightly, trying to convince him
"All right, fine, just crushes." he gave in. "Just don't get crushed
yourself."
 "Woh, wait a minute, how come you're not Steve's side this time?" I
asked him. I know that he doesn't really approve of me liking either of
them but he seems to like Steve more. He said it's because he's cuter.
I just shook my head after hearing that.
"Well" Cyril answered, "I know that both are hopeless situations, but
I want you to be happy. So, if going out on Friday night with Lee would
make you happy, then by all means you have my blessings. Just be careful
not to let your feelings get drawn too deep, I don't want you to get
hurt." he looks very sincere. "Remember I've been there, done that."
"I know; you're just concerned. Thanks, friend."  I said and then
padded him on the back

FRIDAY night came. I'm wearing casual clothes; the sleeves of my striped
white and navy polo shirt were folded up to my elbow, a blue pants, and
black leather shoes. I looked at my reflection in the mirror, not bad. I
may not be tall, but I think I carry myself quite nicely.
I check the time. It's only 7:10PM. Lee offered to drive. He said that
he'd pick me up around 7:30. I'm not really sure where we're going
though. He told me today at work that he made all the arrangements. But
he added that I don't have to worry `cause it's not going to be a very
expensive meal. "I'll see you tonight, Eric." he smiled and winked at
me.
"Yeah, yeah, you'll have your best dinner, I'm pretty sure." I joked
with him just to hide my feeling of uneasiness.
The sound of car parking in the drive way brought me back from
recollection and then afterwards I heard the doorbell rang twice.
When I open the door; Lee is right there looking very handsome. "Good
evening, Eric." he said and then smiled. That smile that I always
admire.


To be continued...

I welcome any comments. Thanks - rmlrnsr_8@yahoo.com