Date: Thu, 28 Dec 2006 17:52:44 -0800 (PST)
From: John R Ohler <lightseeker19@yahoo.com>
Subject: Returning to Tate Chapter 9

Hey all, here is another chapter of my tale. I know, everyone is shocked as
hell to get three in such quick succession. Hell I am too! Nah I have been
in a writing mood and focusing on it. It has a lot to do with some of the
wonderful e-mails I have gotten to encourage me. Thanks guys. So I hope
everyone has a Happy New Year. Once again all these characters are
completely fictional and any resemblance is completely incidental. This
work is the property of the author and any copying or posting without my
explicit permission is not allowed.

One last thing, I do apologize about the layout problems with the last
couple of chapters. I was unaware that was how they were showing up when I
converted the files. Hopefully it is all corrected. Word sucks sometimes:)

Returning to Tate
Chapter 9:
Dinner at the Greene's

	On Sunday morning I woke up bright and early, at least for me, at
nine o'clock. Once again I did not get to bed until around two last
night. I had only stayed at the hospital for about forty minutes. Luck had
been with me in the fact that my Sister and Mother did not return to the
hospital until I was pulling out of the parking lot. I was not sure if they
noticed me. Of course at that point I really could care less. I was driving
away, safe from going into another argument.
	Dinner last night had been excellent as always when Mrs. Cross
cooked.  Rick asked if I wanted to go out with him, but I could tell he was
going to see Lisa. I could see the signals. He just could not come out and
say it with his Mom in the room. There was no doubt that he was still
agonizing with how to tell her he finally had a girlfriend. It was fine
that he had a date though. I felt wary after the day I had been having.
	The urge to call Eric had been strong, but once again I suppressed
it. I knew I was going to see him today. One evening of waiting was not
going to kill me, although it felt damn close! Instead I opted to spend
most of the evening with Mrs. Cross. We watched some movies and just
talked. Most of it was getting caught up with everything that had been
going on with the Cross family. Mrs. Cross was getting a little excited
that her husband would be home tonight. She did not come out and say it,
but I could tell with how she talked about it. I had to admit I was too. I
would feel a little guilty of going to eat at Eric's if Mr. Cross would be
coming home before mealtime. Lucky for my guilt was that he would not be
getting in until around ten tonight. It was going to be cool to see him
again. He was a fun guy to be around. Rick definitely took a lot from
him. I guess when he was younger he was a lot like Rick was now. That was a
scary thought. Besides I had to admit that I felt even closer to him now
that I knew that he punched my father. I did not imagine anyone cared that
much for me.
	Mrs. Cross did do a good job of keeping my mind off Eric. Around
ten Rick came home and we retreated to his bedroom under the guise of
playing some Playstation. I got to hear more about Lisa. Rick really did
remind me of a little kid on Christmas with his excitement and enthusiasm
at dating her. It was definitely a good change. Rick had always been a
happy person, but there was definitely something more here. He really
glowed when he talked about her. It really made me proud of him.
	We also ended up talking about my dinner today. He was a good
sounding block for me to calm my nerves on. I was grateful. Yeah he did
make some fun of me, but I could accept that. It would have been
hypocritical of me not to accept it. I would never have passed up the
opportunity and I was reveling in giving him a hard time with Lisa. We both
knew it was all I good fun. It was a good way to put away all of our fears
and just make it feel normal. There is nothing to fear about anything that
was normal.
	He shared his first few times having dinner with the family of
girls that he dated. He gave me pointers and suggestions of what to do and
not to do. It seems he had a lot of experience in what not to do. Rick even
shared some of his more embarrassing stories. A few I had heard of, but
there were some more recent ones that I had not. He told me that I would be
fine. Listening to him made me feel like I was going out with a girl just
like everyone else. Once again it simply made me feel normal. It seemed
almost mundane, of course it would if it wasn't me.
	Finally around two the wariness finally began to hit me. I was
thankful for that. There had not been a doubt in my mind that if it was not
for the wariness, I could not have fallen asleep. I was excited and nervous
when I went to bed. My mind wanted to keep contemplating everything, but I
would not let it. Once my head hit the pillow, it did not take sleep long
to hit. I probably dreamed, but thankfully there was no memory of it. It
made sleep more restive and I think helped with the nerves a little bit.
	Now I laid in bed thinking about getting up. I had hoped to sleep
in until around eleven. Since I was not going over to Eric's until around
noon, I knew that the later I slept would make the wait less
agonizing. When you sleep you do not notice time move. Awake it seemed to
move horribly slow. My body would not hear of it though. I awoke on my own
with no help from alarm clocks or noise. The house seemed very quiet. So I
remained in bed hoping that maybe I might fall asleep. Of course this was a
losing battle. Once awake, the mind was reeling with thoughts. Fear and
excitement both rushing back and forth promising to make sure I stay awake.
	Finally after twenty minutes of lying there, I got myself up. I
felt pretty sure that Rick would not be up for some time, so I did not feel
bad about taking the first shower of the day. Besides even if he did, I
really would not feel bad using all the hot water up. He deserved it after
what he did the other day with the cold water. You do not forget nor
forgive water that cold easily. The only thing I feared was that if he did
wake up was a reoccurrence of that frigid incident. He would have no qualms
about doing it again. I had no doubt of that.
	Luck was with me, or more accurately, as expected Rick was dead to
the world. He would not regain consciousness until noon I was sure. Taking
my morning shower was a good way to calm my nerves and just think. Unlike
thinking while laying in bed or somewhere quiet, time did not have a way of
being that slow in the shower. It might be the fact that I cannot see a
clock in there, or that for me it was just a simple pleasure that zoned me
out to noticing time as much. Still as I sat there under the spray of hot
water I pondered about today.
	There was a part of me that just wanted to not show up. I wasn't
going to lie to myself, I was scared. I was never the most comfortable
meeting new people growing up. There tended to be a strong shy streak with
me. Once I knew someone, I was fine, but the first time always gave me
anxiety. Before my sixteenth birthday I had managed it pretty well. After
that, well, the shy streak seemed like it became ingrained as an intricate
part of me. It became a rare thing for me to say a word to anyone new. I
had brought being quiet to a whole new level. It became one of my defining
aspects of my personality. It had gotten to the point that I preferred to
be alone then meeting new people. The only way I had met people at Burke
was because they were put in a group project, a roommate, or really just
forced themselves into my world. Even away from Tate I had been scared to
meet new people. I guess I felt why build a world when it was bound to fall
apart.
	Thankfully, I knew that part would not win today. Yeah I was
scared, but the excitement was thicker then the steam in the air from the
hot water cascading down on me. I liked Eric. That felt like an
understatement. I was not sure what scared me more, the fact that I like
Eric so much, the fact I was meeting his parents, or the fear if they would
like me. The latter was a rather foolish one, almost everyone tended to
like me as long as my sexuality was not taken into account. On that count I
was not worried about them, although I did not like the idea of them even
knowing I was gay. That was a paranoia that did not give up easily. Still,
I knew that today would be a good one, at least as long as I did not have a
heart attack.
	When the hot water began to fade, I vacated the shower. Getting
ready proved to be a harder dilemma then I thought it would be.  First
problem was finding something to wear. I had several choices with the new
clothes that Mrs. Cross had gotten me. This morning I was thankful that she
had done that yesterday. What was worse was that I actually wanted to dress
to impress. I had had to figure out which clothes would be best to
wear. This was something I gave Rick a hard time about and now here I was
doing the same thing. Thankfully he was still asleep. Still he had more
fashion sense then I did. If he was awake he could have given me good
advice. Finally I picked a dark blue polo shirt that looked nice and a pair
of khaki pants. They looked sharp.
	Then I came to the second problem which was that was trying to get
my hair to look perfect. Once again this was something I was not used to
doing. I could not do the normal thing of just running a comb through my
hair. It is not that it looked bad doing that, but it looked like I was
just sort of lazy about it. Rick would have been in heaven to see me get
ready. Thankfully he did not get the chance to make fun of all this work
just to look good. It was frustrating, but after ten minutes of work, which
was an eternity for me getting my hair straight, I felt satisfied with
it. I think that Eric and his family would be impressed or at least think I
did not look like a total loser.
	By the time I got all of that done, the time was getting close to
eleven. I had hoped that it would be closer to noon. Time was being a bitch
to me this morning. Normally I felt like there was never enough time in
mornings to get ready for class. Of course the difference was I was not
getting up only fifteen or twenty minutes before going over to Eric's like
I would for class. Hell sometimes it was just like five minutes before a
class and then of course the occasional screw it, it is ten minutes after
class has started or as I called it, the Rick Solution. On the bright side
I figured eating breakfast before I left was not a bad idea. It would be
several hours before I ate dinner. I did not want to seem like I was
starving at dinner.
	Mrs. Cross was of course up and she had cooked me up some waffles
when she had heard the shower come on. She knew that it had to be me. She
could not remember the last time she had seen Rick moving that early. When
she saw me come into the kitchen she whistled at me and told me how sharp I
looked. I felt a little, ok a lot embarrassed at that. Like I said I was
not used to trying to dress to impress. Last night I had shared the dinner
with the Greene's to her. She seemed as excited as I was last night. This
morning she kept it up. She made sure my collar was just right. Just
talking with her while I ate made my nerves seem less jittery.
	Finally at noon, I left the house. I got into my car and drove over
to Eric's. Once again there was the urge to just drive by, but I could not
do that. I took a deep breath and parked in front of his house. For a
minute all I could do was sit in the car and take a couple of deep
breaths. My knuckles were white from holding on to the steering wheel so
hard. I tried some of that meditation crap I have seen on television. It
never seemed to work. My heart felt like it was just pounding. Every muscle
in my body felt tense. Finally I built up the courage and got out of the
car. Evidently Eric had been watching for me because before I even got
halfway to the door it opened.
	"Damn, it takes you long enough to get out of the car," Eric
grinned. "I thought I was going to have to come out and drag you out. What
were you doing in there? Scared to meet my family? I don't blame you."
	I grinned and per normal as of late, I blushed. "Yeah, well I have
to build up some tolerance before I am around you. Plus I had to loosen up
the old hands so I can crush you in halo."
	"Yeah, yeah, I don't want to know what you were doing to loosen
your hands," He whispered as I got to the door. "Anyway, let's get you out
of some of your suffering and get the introductions out of the way. They
are both ready to meet you in the inquisition room, or I mean the family
room."
	I know I must have looked nervous when I walked through the door
because he followed up his comment with, "Don't worry, it is not that
bad. My parents are cool. You will like them."
	The only thing I could do was to give him a wary smile and follow
him into his living room. I was dreading this. His parents were both
waiting in there. His father looked to be Eric's height. He was a thin man
that seemed rather geeky. He had brown hair, well brown hair round the
large bald spot that was on top of the head. Under his nose he had a small
brown mustache. A set of black rimmed glasses covered his eyes. They
reminded me of the type you see all engineers where from any movies that
depict the fifties. He was wearing a Northwestern University shirt and
black slacks. On his lap was the Sunday paper which he had obviously been
reading. He had a pleasant smile on his face that made the room feel more
welcoming. It was the type of smile I never would expect from my own
father.
	His mother sat on the chair on the opposite side of the lamp from
Mr. Greene. Today she did not look as imposing. She was wearing a yellow
blouse and a black skirt. She had sat down a book beside her. The broad
smile she gave was a genuine one of happiness. Her gaze was not so sharp
but one that looked a little bit excited. She reminded me of the typical
housewife that you always saw on television reruns.
	"Well, Mom and Dad, this is Justin Caldwell," Eric formally
introduced me to them. "Justin these are my parents Karen and William."
	"It is good to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Greene," I managed to stumble
out.
	"Call us William and Karen, young man," Mr. Greene got up and shook
my hand. "I know my wife had the pleasure of meeting you the other night,
although from what I hear that was a pretty frightening first meeting for
you. Don't worry though that is not normally how we act. Eric sometimes can
bring out the stress on us." He smiled at Eric. "It is a pleasure to meet
you."
	"Yes it is good to see you again," Mrs. Greene added. "We are
honored to have you at our house today."
	"Thanks," I replied a little meekly. I was not sure what I should
say. This was all new territory. I figured I would sound less like a fool
if I just kept the talking to a minimum.
	"Can we go to my room and play some Halo now? I mean you met him
already," Eric pleaded with his parents. I think he could tell I was a
little uncomfortable.
	"Yeah, go to you room," Mr. Greene laughed. "We will have plenty of
time to grill him over dinner." He elbowed me in the stomach lightly.
	Eric did not need any more prodding to drag me out of the room. I
was ever so thankful. It was not as bad as I thought, but I wished I had
made a better impression. I felt like a deer in car headlights. I know I
had to look like a complete fool just standing there. Still I was pleased
that his parents seemed cool. There was a little envy for him. I could not
imagine my parents ever being like that.
	"Well that wasn't that bad was it?" Eric asked me as we got to his
room. "Although expect to tell them a lot about yourself at dinner. Don't
worry they will not ask you about your family. I sort of warned them about
that. I hope you don't mind."
	"What exactly did you tell them?" I felt my stomach knot up. Like I
said I got nervous about a lot of things about my past.
	"I did not tell them a lot. I told them that you and your family
had some problems and that your father was in the hospital. That you were
in college and that you were gay. I hope that you don't mind. My family and
I are fairly close. I could not avoid telling them these things otherwise
they would have asked about them. It is just natural for them to ask about
family. I figured that would be more awkward."
	I could see Eric get a little nervous looking at me. For several
moments I was silent. Still he was right. None of that was a state
secret. I had to trust that he did the best thing. It would be awkward if
they asked about my family. I couldn't just lie about it all. Finally I
rationalized it out and replied, "Yeah it is cool. Sorry it takes me a
minute to put it all in perspective. There was a part of my life that I
just never talk about, that being most of it in a nutshell. Still I need to
get over that. I just need to have faith in people. Thanks for warning
them."
	Eric seemed to not fully believe that I was ok with it. I guess it
was not a confident reply. "Sorry for making you uncomfortable I^Å"
	"Don't worry about it really," I interrupted. "It is not a big
deal. It's not like you posted it in a newspaper and to be honest, it is
not like it is not known around here anyway. It was fairly common news when
I was in high school."
	"Thanks, I feel a little relieved. I was afraid that maybe I
overstepped my bounds. I don't want to run you off this early. Normally it
takes a couple of weeks for me to do that." He laughed.
	"Nah, don't worry about that. I like hanging out with you. Besides
to be honest I guess it has been good to talk about it all. I have been
through so much as of late. For a long time I have just been holding it all
in. There is a sort of liberation in finally being able to tell someone
about what happened that was not there."
	"You mean you never told anyone over at Burke about your family and
such?" Eric asked shocked.
	"Fuck no," I sighed. "I could not even tell anyone there I was
gay. Like I told you the other day, I am fucked up. Up at Burke I do have
people that I hang out with, but none are really friends. They are more
like acquaintances, but I guess a little closer. Don't get me wrong, they
are great people, but it is a part of myself I am scared to share with
anyone. So I just don't let people get close to me. It is safer."
	"I can understand you feeling that way coming from here," Eric put
his hand on my shoulder. It was amazing how a simple touch can convey so
much strength. "Where I came from originally, it was not that big deal. I
could be myself and no one really gave a damn, well anyone worth
anything. Here though, this feels like the bloody middle ages. If I grew up
here, I probably would be still in the closet."
	"You are right and you are wrong. It is not completely this place,
at least I don't think. There are some good people here, but yeah there are
a lot of people that are bigoted. I guess I owe you the whole story of why
I am like I am. I promised you that."
	"You don't have to if you don't want to. I understand."
	"No I said I would and I want too."
	Thus I started to go through the whole tale of my life. Well the
basics of it with emphasis on my sixteenth birthday and life since then. I
did not mention the railroad tracks, but pretty much everything else I
mentioned. The only thing I left out was some key names. I figured he did
not need to know Zack's name. I did not mention that to anyone. It was hard
to talk about, but not as hard as I feared. It felt a lot easier telling
him about everything. It felt right. Eric was a patient listener. When I
got to my sixteenth birthday he just held my hand. There were a couple of
minutes I was afraid that tears might come, but they didn't. I felt more at
ease telling him. It felt like I was not hiding and there was something
liberating about it. Weird as it may sound, I guess I just felt more human.
	"Wow, that was a hell of a lot easier then I imagined it would be
to talk about," I stated when I completed my story. "This is the first time
I have done it without having a whole nervous breakdown."
	"That is awesome," He gave me a grin that made telling him worth
just seeing it. "You look a lot more at ease now. I was afraid you were
going to be too stressed out today."
	"Yeah I was," I laughed. "I survive though. I am glad I told you. I
feel like I am not running away anymore."
	"Sometimes running can be good, but for the most part it always
catches up to you. You have to face it." Eric got a little silent and
seemed hesitant. I could feel his avoidance. He was in his own way running
away from his problems.
	"Hey, you have listened to me rattle on. You know if you want to
talk, I will listen. I am better at that then talking, if you would believe
that." I gave him a reassuring smile.
	He looked at me and I tried to continue to give him the most
reassuring look I could. I wanted him to talk to me. Just like I needed to
talk about it all, I knew that he did too. He was suppressing everything
like I did. Still I could not force him to talk about it. Just like me, he
needed to be ready. I was hoping that since he gave me the strength to talk
about it, I could do the same. There was a moment that he looked like he
just might take me up on the offer. Then he seemed to retreat.
	"I should tell you something, but I am just not ready yet," He did
my move of looking down at his feet while he said that.
	`It's ok," I said with a smile. "When you are ready I am here for
you. There is no hurry. I mean I am not going anywhere."
	"Thanks," he looked into my eyes and we sort of felt like one for a
moment.
	We started playing some Halo again. Once again I showed just how
out of practice I was. It was not that I minded losing, but ok, I like
winning at games like that. It was not like all the competitiveness had
left me when I left home. Besides it just gave him the upper hand to make
fun of me. Being around Rick and Patrick, I learned it was better to have
that upper hand. It was fun though. We reverted to just two guys having a
good time and letting the seriousness of our conversation wash away to the
trash talking that comes with playing video games.
	Just like last time, he sat there right beside me as we played. I
took some solace in the thought that he was making it hard for me to
concentrate. Every time he brushed beside me, I could only think of him. I
knew a couple of times I screwed up when I was lining a shot up because of
that. I suspected a couple of times it was intentional, but maybe I was
just being paranoid. His voice too, even with the trash talking, was just
calming to me. It was like I was in a bubble where there were no
problems. That felt damn good I had to admit.
	After awhile Mrs. Greene came in with some sodas and asked if there
was anything that we needed. We replied that we did not. Eric did his best
to get her out as quickly as he could. She seemed to relish embarrassing
him a little bit. The second time she came in she asked if I wanted to see
his pictures of his childhood. She took a lot of enjoyment out of it, and
once again I felt envious in the mother he had. Still while I liked her, I
took solace in the fact that I had Mrs. Cross and she was just as awesome.
	Around four we finally grew bored of playing Halo, or at least I
grew bored of getting my ass whooped. Today I did not give as even close to
as good as I got. I probably only won three games out of the ten we
played. I gave up counting. It was frustrating to lose, but at least losing
to Eric was less frustrating. I could not think of a better person to lose
too.
	"I have a question, if you don't mind me asking?" Eric asked me. He
seemed a little meek. "You have been in the closet so long, have you ever
had any boyfriends?"
	"Hell no," I replied a little too quickly. "I mean the closest
thing was the guy from my sixteenth birthday. Since then, well it has been
something too damn scary to even contemplate."
	"God, I cannot imagine that. That just seems^Åwell it seems so
lonely."
	I paused and thought about it. "It is I guess. I am not saying that
I have never wanted that. I just was so scared to come out that I never
really seriously thought about it. You get used to being lonely. It is a
void, but you don't notice it as much if you never had it. Have you had
any?"
	"Yeah I have had a couple back in Massachusetts," Eric seemed to
think for a moment. "None were serious, but they at least made me feel like
every other high school student. I even went to my junior prom."
	"I could not imagine ever doing that. I know that I am biased from
my experience. The guy that I had thought I loved on my sixteenth birthday,
he shunned me worse then everyone else. He made sure that everyone knew
about me. I think he was afraid that others might connect the dots."
	"Wow, he did that? No one ever knew about him? You could have told
people if he was being that much of a dick."
	"No, I really couldn't. I still cared for him and I knew that he
was just protecting himself. I couldn't fault him for that. If I had been
in his shoes and he had been the one outed maybe I might have done the same
thing."
	"No you wouldn't. You could never do that." Eric said a little
sternly. "I may not know you real well, but I know you well enough that you
take responsibility. That guy deserved to get his ass beat. He was just a
hypocritical bastard."
	I looked at Eric and had to smile, but finally shook my head. "No
he doesn't. I have to admit that there was a petty side of me that sort of
wanted to see some sort of justice. There was also a part that thought that
if he was forced out then we might be together. I just knew it was wrong. I
cared for him too much, even when he turned his back. While he exasperated
the situation in a lot of ways there was times that he helped. One day I
was going to get my ass beat. I could see the guilt in his eyes. He
convinced the guys that I was not worth getting into a fight then. It may
not sound like much, but for a long time that meant a lot."
	"You are better at keeping your temper then I would."
	"Nah, I was really just a broken person at that point and believed
that I deserved what I got."
	"Hey don't say^Å"
	"I said I believed, not I believe," I interrupted. "I know better
now or at least I should say that I am getting to know. These last several
days have been like a blindfold has been taken off."
	Eric smiled. "I am glad. You deserve to be happy."
	"You know I think I am actually buying into that finally," I gave
him a smile back. It was one that was pure with the simple truth of what I
said. It felt right. "I am not saying I am always going to be this
optimistic, but I am trying. It is not something that just changes over
night. Some days are better then others. Pessimism and negativity is a
tough bitch to beat."
	"Well, you will do it. I believe in you."
	"Thanks, I appreciate it." I felt I was basking in warm sunlight
from his statement. It reminded me of my fathers pride to a lesser degree
on my sixteenth birthday. It was so pure like his words were that day.
	"So getting back to the subject," Eric lowered his voice a little
bit. "What do you think about boyfriends now that you are doing better? You
think that might be something you want in the future."
	For a moment, I felt like a deer in headlights again. I was not
sure how to exactly react to this. I felt pretty confident he was alluding
to himself and I, but could not be a hundred percent sure. It was not like
this had ever come up before. Of course it was something that I had been on
my mind. It was something that I still felt torn about. There was a part of
me that really wanted this. I really did like Eric. It all felt so
right. It just seemed perfect. Then there was the part of me that did not
feel ready. I don't know. Conflict within me was something that was never
good for me to have. I was scared that in the end I just might drag him
down. That was something I did not want to do. Eric deserved better then
that. The longer I waited to answer the more I could see Eric get nervous.
	"Well, I have to be honest, I guess," I finally started to
reply. "Yeah I do think I want that eventually. I don't know. Life has been
thrown upside down the last several days. Some of it has been for the bad,
but most of the changes have been for the good. I am just not sure that I
am ready to go that far. Still I think there is some definite
possibilities. Something I never thought I would have."
	Eric gave me small smile. The last part seemed to cheer him up a
little bit. "That's cool. Life is about taking small steps at a time. I was
just curious what your thoughts on the subject were. You want to watch a
movie?"
	That was Eric's way of changing the subject. I knew that he had
hoped that I would give a different response, but I couldn't. Honesty was
the best policy and while I was still not feeling stable with everything,
it seemed like the right thing to do. I did not want to bring him down if I
should fall again. Besides if it was meant to be, it would be. That is what
Mrs. Cross always said about life. There was a part of me that felt like it
was meant to be. I just need confidence.
	He put in a movie. The movie was In and Out. It felt sort of like a
hint. I had never seen that movie and was glad I finally got the
chance. Movies that had gay themes were ones that I had avoided like the
plague over the last several years. There was a fear that people could see
through me if they saw me watching one. I know that sound foolish, but it
was the truth. It felt especially true as I laughed at the hilarity of the
movie. I had missed out on a lot.
	This time, I did not fall asleep watching the movie. Instead I kept
my attention on the movie, although I was still distinctly aware that Eric
was lying beside me. Again he was lying close to me with his leg brushed up
against mine. Every so often his hand would follow suit. It was very
surreal. When the movie would get to scenes that were funny, his laughter
would enthrall me to laugh harder and make the movie more enjoyable. Plus
when he laughed he tended to roll into me more. I almost got brave enough
to put my arm around him.
	Finally as the movie came to a close, Mrs. Greene came in to tell
us that dinner was about ready. I almost feel to the floor leaping off the
bed. My heart was racing. I felt like I had been caught doing something
more then laying there. I felt embarrassed and scared all at once. She just
gave me a smile and walked out of the room. I felt ridiculous.
	"Hey you ok," Eric asked me. The concern was evident in his voice.
	"Yeah," I closed my eyes for a second to calm me. "Sorry she just
scared me walking in. I was just caught off guard."
	"Are you sure? You are looking a little pale. Everything is ok. My
Mom is cool with you."
	I shook my head a second. I thought about not saying anything about
it, but if I was going to be honest, I had to be honest. "Sorry, I just had
a momentary flashback of my father walking in on my sixteenth birthday. I
know that we were doing nothing wrong and your Mom is fine with it, but her
walking in while we were so close in a bed, that is just something I am not
used to. It is cool though. Like I said I am just getting used to all of
this."
	"Sorry, I did not think about that when I laid on the bed," Eric
looked guilty. "I will give you more space next time."
	"Nah, don't say that. I kinda like you lying beside me. It is just
something I have to get used to. I have to face my fears, not run from
them. Some fears like you lying beside me are better to face then others. I
think I am up to the challenge." I gave him my best smile.
	"Well if it is in the name of therapy," Eric lunged at me and we
ended up on the floor laughing and wrestling
	After laughing for a few more minutes we finally got up and began
to walk downstairs to his dining room. I was nervous again. I felt like I
was going into a courtroom. I knew that it would not be that bad, but still
I was scared. No matter how hard I tried I could not get over it. There
were so many other things that I would have rather faced then his parents
today. Oh well, time to face this fear.
	Their dining room was a nice one. There wooden floor with dark oak
walls. Along one side of the room were shelves with fine china and gleaming
silverware filling them. There was a beautiful Amish table in the middle of
the room I was not knowledgeable about furniture really, but the
workmanship was obvious on it. The Amish were the only ones I had seen make
such a table. It could seat eight although there were only four places set
in the middle of the table. It had the effect of making the table look more
cozy then it was. Above the table was an ornate crystal chandelier that
gleamed with sparkling light. The smell of ham, mash potatoes, and peas
filled the room. It made me feel hungry. If the food tasted half as good as
it smelled then Mrs. Cross might have competition. If Patrick was here he
would have been in heaven.
	"Well are you boys hungry?" Mr. Greene stepped in from behind us.
	"You know I always am Dad!"  Eric said as he licked his lips.
	"Yes, sir, it all smells good." I replied stiffly.
	He laughed at me. "You don't have to call me sir. You are not in
the army, although I appreciate the respect. Like I said call me William,
or Bill if you like." His voice was welcoming and full of cheer. "Now you
two go ahead and have a seat on the other side of the table."
	We walked around the table. I had to admit that Eric's father was
doing a good job of making me feel calmer. It reminded me a little bit of
Eric. He had a sly grin on his face as Eric and I walked around the
table. I could tell there was a part of him that enjoyed making me being
squeamish.
	By the time we got around the table, Mrs. Greene had arrived in the
dining room with a tray of drinks. She had a couple of glasses of wine for
her husband and herself and two glasses of sodas for Eric and me. She had a
large smile on her face. I suspected that she was always a gracious host
when she had guests. She seemed to revel in hosting people for
dinner. There was no sternness in her looks this evening. She seemed happy
and kind. I began really feeling at ease. Hopefully this was not a false
feeling.
	"Have a seat guys, the food is not going to get any warmer," She
said as she sat our glasses out by our plates.
	We sat down and started passing around the food. It looked as good
as it smelled. I hated to admit it, but I was feeling pretty
hungry. Thankfully my stomach did not growl. I would have been really
embarrassed if it had. I grabbed a decent amount of all the different
foods, but not enough to look like I was starving. I felt that was just bad
manners. Eric did not have that compulsion. He reminded me of Patrick
eating with the way he piled the food on.
	"Justin, we wanted to first off thank you," Mrs. Greene started the
conversation. "Eric has been in a great mood since he came across you at
the hospital. You have been nothing but good for him. We appreciate that."
	"Yes, you are all that he talks about," Mr. Greene piped in. "It is
a good change for him. Since we have lived here I have not seen him this
happy."
	I blushed at that comment. I expected to be interrogated not
complimented. "Thank you." I thought I should say more, but to be honest I
was sort of speechless.
	"Anyway, Justin, Eric says that you attend Burke College,"
Mr. Greene continued. "What are you studying there?"
	"Uh, right now I am in journalism," I managed to get out. "I have
had a little trouble trying to nail down the right major for me, but this
one seems like a good fit. It is at least one that I enjoy."
	"Well, that is a good thing," Mrs. Greene replied. "I think that is
half the battle in finding a good job. You must find something that you
love. We have been hoping that Eric would finally decide what he wants to
do."
	"Yes, Eric has been a little confused on what he wants to do,"
Mr. Greene piped up. "Right now he wants to take a year out and travel. It
is not something that we are opposed too, but we still want him to think
about his future."
	"God Dad, do you have to bring that up! I thought you were supposed
to be interrogating Justin and making him uncomfortable and not me."
	His parents laughed, "We are not planning to do that." His father
continued. "It is just conversation. It is not meant to make anyone
uncomfortable, but if we are going to do that to one of you two, then it
would be you. I mean we do own you."
	Even I had to laugh. I was beginning to really like his family. It
was a lot like the Cross's in a lot of way. It was the way I thought a
family should be. If there was some lingering doubt that I should have came
over tonight, it felt like it had all seeped away in the good company of
the Greene's. I was not even nervous about any other questions that might
be put forth.
	"Well, I wasn't aware of his wanting to travel before school, but I
guess I can't blame him," I entered to the conversation in full
force. "When I got there, I did not really know what I wanted to do. I
jumped from one major to the next major. In a way that was not bad, but
still it might have saved a little money if I was able to be more focused
and knew what I wanted before I jumped into it. Honestly, I am not sure if
I am on the last major, but it feels right, at least for the moment."
	"That is a very astute comment, Justin," Mrs. Greene smiled. "That
is true, but I think Eric is missing one point of this. His Father and I
will pay for college. We would even pay for him to go stay with other
family members or something for a time, but traveling, except for maybe a
summer trip is not in the planned budget. Of course some focus might help
that."
	"Ok, I know that the whole traveling thing is a little bit of a
pipe dream. I admit it. Do we have to talk about this now?" I could see
that Eric was starting to get a little frustrated with the course of the
conversation.
	"Mrs. Greene, you are a professor right?" I decided to come to
Eric's rescue and change the subject. "What do you teach?"
	"I teach anthropology at Tate Community College. It is something of
a passion I developed in college. I was like Eric when I entered college in
not being sure of what I wanted to do. The first year I tried several
different classes to find something that I liked. I took this anthropology
class and fell in love with it."
	"Uh oh, you asked the wrong question," Eric laughed. "My Mom can
talk about this for hours. I don't envy her students^Åthey have to pay for
these stories!"
	"Actually I have to agree with my son here. She will talk your ear
off." Mr. Greene gave his wife a mischievous grin. "Just please don't get
her started on the year that she spent in the Amazon. We could be here all
night if you do that."
	"Well at least my stories are more of an adventure. What can you
talk about at your work? Engineering is not at all riveting. Remind me why
I married you," Mrs. Greene acted angry.
	"Probably because you could not take your hands off me our senior
year at college," Mr. Greene put his arm around his wife. "You basically
lived in my dorm room that year."
	"Parents, son and guest in the room," Eric raised his voice. "For
the love of god this is something I never like to hear. There are some
things I never want to imagine, especially when trying to eat."
	We all laughed about that. The conversation once again switched
back to Mrs. Greene's work. I asked her about the year she spent in the
Amazon. Mostly because I was actually curious, although I liked making Eric
suffer through it. She had apparently gone down and spent a year studying
one of the Amazon tribes that had very little contact with the rest of the
world. It was her thesis work for her doctorate. She described doing stuff
that I could not imagined doing, nor wanted to do. The best example of that
was swimming with piranha. She said it was really nothing, but screw that,
I could live my life never doing that. It was fun to listen too and the way
she talked about it kept my attention. I suspected that she was an awesome
professor to have, albeit in all likelihood a hard one.
	"So Justin, do you have any plans for the summer?" Mr. Greene asked
when his wife completed her tale of South America.
	"Not really, for the moment I am just going to be around town for
the summer. There are some things here I need to take care of, but for the
most part I am just going to take it easy. Last summer I took classes, I
deserve a break."
	"Ah I remember those days. Sometimes I miss the carefree days of
college where every summer was a break."
	"Well you are always welcome here," Mrs. Greene cheerfully
said. "If you can put up with us for dinner, you can put up with
anything. Besides you are good for Eric and that is good for us."
	"Yes, I hope we get to see more of you this summer," Mr. Greene
added.
	"Yeah, well, I guess I will be around," I turned and felt stupid
grinning at Eric. "I will have plenty of free time. Besides I have to break
this idea he has that he can beat me in Halo."
	"In your dreams, I think we settled that today."
	We all broke out laughing. It felt good. The rest of the meal went
just as cool. The conversation was light, but fun. The dynamics of his
family impressed me. I figured that only the Cross family was that fun to
be around, but the Greene's were every bit as fun. It made me think perhaps
it was just my family. I would not let that thought bother me
though. Tonight was too good of a night for that.
	After dinner I helped them carry the dishes in the kitchen and
Mr. Greene dragged us down to the basement. It had been made into an
entertainment room. Eric had never mentioned it, but they had a full size
billiards table down there. Mr. Greene demanded we play him a few games. I
was only so-so at playing billiards. Ok the basic plan I always used to win
was to hope that my opponent would inadvertently knock the eight ball
in. It was not the best plan, but it worked sometimes. It was not like I
disliked playing billiards, I just rarely got the opportunity to do so. It
was fun.
	Mr. Greene trounced both Eric and I. He was good. Eric was only
marginally better then me. I understood why he did not show this to me the
first day I was over here. He wanted to show me something that he was
awesome at and billiards was definitely not it. Still Mr. Greene was
gracious in victory and gave me a lot of pointers. By the end of the third
game I was doing a hell of a lot better then the first. He reminded me of
my baseball coach and how good he was at teaching the basics. He told me if
I ever wanted lessons that he would be glad to do it. It was an offer I
could not pass up. It felt good to play a new competitive game again.
	As the clock chimed in the basement at eight o'clock, I felt it was
time to go. There was a part of me that definitely did not want the night
to end, but I also wanted to be back at the Cross's before Mr. Cross
arrived. I felt torn. Mrs. Cross would not have cared, but I really wanted
to be there. I guess it just reminded me how much I did feel like the
Cross's were my family. That really made me feel all warm inside.
	Eric walked me outside. "See that wasn't as bad as you expected was
it? You survived my parents, congrats."
	"No, it really wasn't," I smiled and looked back at his house. "I
am glad I came over tonight. It was really fun. Your family is great, no
better then great. I can see why you are close to them."
	"Yeah I have to admit that I have it pretty good with parents like
them," Eric grinned. "I like to joke and give them a hard time, but I know
I am lucky. I wish you were that lucky." His voice became softer.
	I patted him on the back. "It is ok. I am lucky also, just not in a
direct way. I have the Cross's and well they are my family. They are
awesome. I just sometimes do not realize that. Besides I can always borrow
yours, I think they liked me."
	Eric brightened. "Oh they do, I could tell. It is not everyone that
my Father offers to teach billiards too. He tried on me for a long time,
but I just could not get into it. He has loved it since college. You made
an awesome impression on them."
	"I'm glad. I was a little worried about that, but once I was around
your parents it was hard not to loosen up."
	"They are good at that," Eric nodded. "So when do you want to do
something else? I probably will not be going back to school until next week
so I have free time." He looked at me hopefully. It was a look that I could
not disappoint.
	"I'm not sure," I started to see him get the look of a hurt
puppy. "But I have to go back to Burke tomorrow to take a couple of tests
and get my stuff from my dorm room. You are more then welcome to come
along."
	"That would be awesome," Eric eyes lit up. That look made the offer
worth it. "I have to check with Mom, but I am sure that she would be fine
with that. She likes every opportunity to send me to a college campus."
	"Cool, just let me know. I have to be going though. I want to be
home when Mr. Cross gets there."
	"I will," before I had a chance to move he gave me a hug. All I
could do was respond. Then he let go and went back into the house. I was
left feeling a little dumbfounded. I think he planned it that way.