Date: Sat, 11 Dec 2010 23:00:52 EST
From: Aragon76@aol.com
Subject: Steve and Mike - Chapter Two

If your not 18 you shouldn't be reading this come back when your old
enough.  This story contains sex between two males without the use of  condoms.
I strongly urge any male out there having sex with anyone to use  condoms.
Being safe is the only way to play and live a healthy life  without the fear
of std's.  Be smart. Be safe. If you enjoy this story let  me know I
enjoyed writing this and might continue with some more of this story  and what
happens between Mike and Steve.  All rights belong to the author.  Contact me
at _Aragon76@aol.com_ (mailto:Aragon76@aol.com)  with  comments thoughts and
suggestions you might have. Enjoy if nothing else! Thanks  in advance to any
and all replies they mean a lot to me and my writing  ideas.

  At last I laid there with Steve, in the arms of the man I was in  love
with. I wanted to pinch myself to make sure this was reality.  But I  knew
this was real and here we were together in bed, the one place I had wanted  to
be for so long.  And my mind went into that overdrive of fear that this
wasn't going to last. This was after all the early eighties and being gay was
still not the thing to be.  As sure as he made it sound before we went to
bed I wasn't so sure when he woke up that he was going to feel the same way
about me.  I had all my life to think about who and what I was. He just
told me straight out that it was new to him, these feelings for me and the
feelings of actually having sex with another man.  He had been brought up  in
that heterosexual world of man meets girl, falls in love, gets married, has
children you know the routine.  What was going to be his reaction when he
woke up and looked me in the face and couldn't escape the reality? I fell
asleep  with those thoughts running around in my head.  But one thing is sure
sleep  after sex if totally restful, I hadn't slept like that in a long time.

 I awoke to the sound of music blaring in the background and Gary and  Roy
yelling in the house.  I was in automatic panic mode.

 "Steve, Steve wake up." I whispered to him.  I didn't want to  have Gary
and Roy hear me trying to wake him. I shook him by the shoulders to  get him
up.

 "What, what's the matter? Why are you whispering?" He looked around  and I
began to see the realization that we weren't alone in the house  anymore.

 "Oh, they're home from work aren't they?" He said if flatly, the  reality
had set in and he was realizing the situation we were in.  He was  in my
room, naked.  He had no clothes in my room, how was he going to get  to his
room without those two wondering what he was doing coming out of my room  with
no clothes and from behind a closed door on top of everything else.  I  knew
for sure my brother wasn't stupid and that he would jump to the correct
conclusion in know time. I knew at that point that I didn't want my brother to
 know but I wasn't sure what Steve's thought was on the subject.  We really
 hadn't had the time to discuss the subject and what we were going to do
when the  situation arose.

 "You have a towel in here Mike?"

 "Yea, I do." I began to realize where he was going with this and I
thought it was a good idea.  At least he could walk out of my bedroom and  simply
say that we were talking and he was on his way to take a shower. At least
it was believable.

 "Good, get that for me and I'll walk out of here and right to the  shower,
they'll never know what happened and everything will be okay."

 "I'll get you the towel, that's what I think of the idea." I  immediately
grabbed the towel and handed it to him.

 About that time there was a knock on the door. I dove back under the
covers and Steve stood at the end of the bed.

"Open up Mike I  need to talk to you for a minute." It was my cousin.  At
least it wasn't my  brother, Gary wasn't one to jump to conclusions he was
more in the habit of  taking things at face value. So I knew when he came in
he would just think that  Steve and I were indeed just talking.

 "Come on in Gary." The door handled jiggled but he wasn't coming in.
Shit! I had left the door locked.

 "Hold on Gary, the door must have locked when I closed the door." I  was
half trembling when I was telling him this, I was trying to think fast as to
what to say if he asked me why the door was locked. I unlocked the door and
 jumped right back into bed.

 "Hey guys what's going on with you two? All of a sudden you need to  lock
the door when your home by yourselves?" I wanted to hide, I didn't know
what to say all of a sudden.

 "I must have hit the lock when I came in here to talk to Mike a few
minutes ago." Steve had saved the day because I was still certainly dumb struck
and couldn't think of anything to say to Gary.

 "Mine does that all the time it seems almost every time I close the  door
it locks itself." Saved by the failing lock system of the bedrooms doors! I
sighed a breath of relief upon Gary's declaration of his  door.

"What's up Gary, what do you need?" I wanted to keep  the conversation
going in another direction other than why Steve was standing in  my room with
just a towel on and I was in bed at that hour with nothing  on.

 "Roy and I are going out, we're going to Ron's, just wanted to know  if
you two wanted to go along with us?" Gary was his jovial usual self at this
point in time so I knew every thing was on normal mode and that he wasn't
even  wondering about the current situation between Steve and I.

 "No thanks Gary, I don't want to go, It will end up being a late  night
and I have to get up to open up the restaurant in the morning. I think  Steve
is on the schedule to open with me to, but I don't remember, so it's  up to
him if he goes or not." I knew Steve was working the next morning but for
some reason I just played dumb.

 "Yea I am on the schedule for tomorrow morning, some asshole boss  changed
my time slot again, so I'm on mornings for the next couple of days I  think
I'll pass to. You and Roy can go, just say hello to Ron for me and tell
him I'll be in at the end of the week to see him." Steve was being completely
sarcastic when he referred to me as his asshole boss.

 Ron's was one of the few places that we went to outside of the house  when
we were drinking. And the only reason we went there was Ron had become a
good customer of the restaurant and I had begun to get to know him and he
invited us to come and have drinks at his place since he came to the
restaurant  so often. That's how my friendship with Ron began and so we all started
to  frequent Ron's Place when we wanted to go out to have drinks instead of
staying  at home.

 "Alright then I'll tell Roy that you two are whimping out on us."  Gary
gave a wave of his hand and was out the door and on the way down the  stairs.

 "That was close Steve,  that was close." I sighed heavily as I  said it.
And before I could think evenly I just blurted out the next thing that
popped into my head.

 "What are we going to do Steve how are we going to handle this?" As  much
as I needed to know what he was thinking about our new relationship, I was
just as terrified as to what he was actually going to say when he opened his
 mouth.

He just stood there for a moment before he moved  towards the bed and sat
down. All to soon I had knots in my stomach again. The  look on his face was
hard to read at that precise moment. I wasn't sure what was  going to come
flowing out of his mouth. I didn't know if I wanted the side of  Steve that
just had his way with me to emerge or the analytical how do we handle  the
situation side to pop its head up. Why oh why do I have to let my emotions
take a hold of me when this type of situation comes up? The air was literally
getting thicker as we sat there without saying anything to each other. I
couldn't talk because I was afraid of what Steve was going to say, why he
wasn't  talking I'm not sure, I still couldn't read his facial expressions. It
was like  listening to the movement of a second hand on a grandfathers
clock. Time was  standing still before me, and all I could do was wait for him to
say  something.

"Do you think we should wait until they are gone  before we have this
conversation? I don't want them to hear anything we have to  say at this moment,
right now it's none of their business, especially your  brothers Michael."

 "I'm not going to argue that point with you Steve, he's the last one  I
need on my back about this, he's not going to just take it and leave it alone.
 I know how he feels about gays and believe me he doesn't have anything
nice to  say about it. I don't know what to do about it, he's not just all of a
sudden  going to change his mind about how he feels about it." I was
talking almost in a  whisper I didn't want anyone to hear us. I think when I used
the word gays in  front of Steve some of the reality of what was going on
between us hit him  square in the face. I don't think up to that point that
Steve had considered the  act between us had a label and the label was gay.
Pure and simple no way around  it I had put it out there on a silver platter
for him to take in. I was making  him look at the situation for what it
really was for the first  time.
\
"I never thought of it in those terms Michael, I mean when I  thought about
it before I knew what it meant to want  to have sex with you,  I guess I
just never put that label on it. I just thought about you and me and  doing
what we did, plain and simple no more no less. At this point in time I'm  not
really sure were we go from here as far as telling anyone else. Perhaps for
right now we just don't say anything and go on as if nothing has changed
between  us and when we get the chance well steal some time together just for
us."

 "So what your really saying is that we won't say anything or let on  that
things have changed between us. But whenever possible we'll sneak around
for a quickie behind everyone's back and just keep playing the straight game?"
I  was pissed off, I realized of course I had not much room to talk about
keeping  secrets and not saying anything to anyone.  But at that moment I
realized  that for Steve it was just going to be about the sex, a quick slam
bam thank you  man and off we'll go and for pretense we won't let anyone
hopefully catch on as  to what is really happening. I wasn't sure what exactly
what I wanted from him,  but I thought I wanted more than he was suggesting. I
thought he would give me  more than what he was offering . I wasn't sure
how we could arrive at that  situation and move forward, but what I wasn't
looking for was just being a piece  of ass for him to have when he thought we
could get away with it. I knew I  wanted more.

 "Then I suggest we forget about this for now. You do your thing and I
will do mine. I don't want you to feel like you owe me something, you don't. I
just felt like before we hopped in bed you wanted more than just sex." I
know I  have no room to talk about not wanting to be found out, but I really
thought we  would work on it together and it's plain to see that's not what
your looking  at." Now I was really getting pissed, my Irish temper was
beginning to boil and  I can feel my ears beginning to turn red. That's not a
good sign with me, when  the ears turn red I have a habit of really getting mad
and start to say and do  things that sometimes I regret later after I have
had time to cool off.

 "I do want more Michael, it's just I don't know how to go about it at
this point in time. I don't know what to do right now. You just have to give me
 time that's all I'm asking of you, is that to much to ask?" His temper was
 beginning to match mine he was being just as short with me as I was with
him.  All to often my Irish pride gets in the way of good judgment and I get
on a fast  track to destruction.

 "Fine, take all the fucking time you need Steve, in the meantime  don't
come crawling into my bed looking at me to hold your hand or wrap my arms
around you, and certainly do not come to me for looking for a roll in the hay."
 I was moving around the room getting dressed the whole time I was ranting
and  raving at him. And the sad thing was I wasn't even sure why I was
getting so  pissed off at him. He certainly hadn't done anything to me to deserve
this kind  of behavior. But it was to late, the runaway train was like I
said on a rail of  absolute destruction. And I was the one behind the wheel
feeding the engine that  was about to blow up in my face.

 "FUCK YOU MICHAEL! Just absolutely FUCK YOU!" Now he was in a full  fury.

 "I don't need this bullshit your handing me all of sudden, your the  one
that asked me to be patient with you because this had been your first  time.
This was a first time for me, can't you give me some slack and have  some
patience with me because the whole concept of having some kind of
relationship with you is also new to me. Have you fucking thought of that  Michael?
No, you didn't, you just let your emotions get in the way, as you so  often
do, now you can take those emotions and shove them up your damn ass  Michael."
And with that Steve pulled the towel around him and walked out of the  room
leaving me standing there with my mouth open and cut off before he even
gave me a chance to say anything at all. At the same time what exactly was I
suppose to say to him, I had already said to much as it was. Now I was
beginning  to wonder how I was going to undo what I had just royally screwed up.
This was  not the way I wanted our relationship to get started, then again I
never thought  we would have a chance at a relationship at all. Somehow
down the line I was  going to have to eat crow and crawl on my knees and ask
for his forgiveness. But  I wasn't near being ready to do that. For now,
things were just going to have to  stay the way they were. It would give us both
time to think about what really  was important to us and what we both really
wanted from one another.


 When I first realized Steve was right and that I had had a long time  to
contemplate the whole gay situation and for him it was still very new. I
needed to give him room to think about it all and let him decide what he wanted
 to do with me. Maybe I had blown it and that would be the end of it or
maybe  time is exactly what we needed right now and I should just let things be
and see  what unfolds. That thought lasted for about a day. And then I
began to worry.  And shit, that's what I did best in my life, worry.

 I knew he was right I was okay with that, what I wasn't okay with was
that we weren't talking about the whole thing. Yes we were being civil towards
each other both at work and at home. But I had one major problem, now I had
felt  his touch and I had felt his passion and I was craving both in the
worst  way.  Before it was easy to ignore him and pretend that my life was the
way  I wanted it. I couldn't pretend so easily this time, not with Steve
not after  what we had shared in bed, now that we had been physical now that
he had touched  me in a way that no one ever had. And when I had shared his
body we had  connected, in a way that only sex lets you connect with another
human being. It  wasn't so easy to just ignore him and look the other way.
Oh, yes I could look  the other way, but I knew so much more about him, the
way he smelled intimately,  the way he held his lover, the way he kissed and
not just mouth to mouth but I  had felt his kisses from the top of my head
all the way down my body. And that's  what made it so hard to ignore him. How
do you just turn that off? I realized I  couldn't turn it off no matter how
hard I tried. The question now remained how  was I going to fix what I had
so dramatically fucked up? It was time to swallow  my pride and beg for his
forgiveness.

 But destiny was coming into play again and trying to get time  together
was not easy. And the more time that went by the more I stressed over  not
being able to talk to him and to make matters worse he wasn't making any  signs
or suggestions that said he wanted to get some time away so that we could
be together to talk.  My worrying was into hyper overdrive. And I guess a
few of my friends and coworkers were beginning to pick up on the fact that
something was wrong with me. And the one person I feared most in this
situation  was my brother, and he was starting to really needle me about what my
fucking  problem was as he so eloquently put it.

 "What the fuck has crawled up your ass and has taken hold of you,  you've
been an absolute prick to so many people lately Michael and that's not  like
you at all?" He was being his gruff usual self when he asked me. How was I
going to get him off my back about this.

 "Nothing has crawled up my ass, as you put it. I've just had a lot on  my
mind lately, so I guess that's made me a little moody that's all." I was
trying to blow him off. I just wanted him to go away and leave me alone.

 "Oh Michael I know you all so well, and you seem to forget that. Yes  I
know it's been a long time since we've lived together as brothers, but since
we are brothers and I am older than you, I still know you better than you
think  I do. So I'll ask you again, and I'll even be nice when I ask this
time. What's  the problem your struggling with? Since you were a kid every time
you had a  problem you'd turn inside yourself and you'll be short with
everyone around you.  That's how I know you have a problem. The question remains
are you going to let  me help you or not?"

 I was for the first time in my life on a crossroad of major  importance.
Should I tell him knowing how he feels about gays or should I lie  and just
try to keep blowing him off until he gets the idea and leaves me alone?  This
was worse than the problem that I was having with Steve. My brother was
someone I had loved without condition all my life and in the scheme of things
I  was mentally picturing him being in my life for as long as I lived. But
could I  trust him with the truth? Maybe it was time I was honest with
someone for the  first time in my life.

"Roy, I wish it was that easy to just  tell you everything that's going on
right now and the problem I'm trying to  resolve."

 "So just let it out, just say it fast before you think it over in  your
head, don't try and make sense of what your saying, just say it. And then  we
will take it from there and just talk it out until you feel better about
whatever it is that eating at you." He was for the first time that I can
remember being nice to me and it was confusing me. I had never seen this side of
 my brother and I didn't know whether to trust him or not.

 "I wish it was that easy Roy I really do, it just some things are  better
off the way they are. It's not just me I have to consider in this, there  is
after all another person involved and I don't want to see that person get
hurt in anyway. H..that person doesn't deserve to be hurt at my doing. It's
not  for me to just not consider their feelings to."

 "Your making no sense Michael, I have no clue what your talking  about.
What person are you talking about? Have you been seeing some girl outside  of
work and now there's a problem? Have you gotten her pregnant?

 Funny that he automatically assumes that I'm having some kind of
relationship with some girl. Does he pay that little of attention to my life? I
mean when was the last time he saw me with a girl? Okay so from time to time to
 put others fears to rest I would "Date" a girl. But never for more than
two or  three  times, god forbid I would take a chance on some girl having
feelings  for me. I didn't want to put a girl through that, not when I knew
from the start  that nothing would happen.

 "No Roy, I haven't gotten a girl pregnant.  With the schedule at  the
restaurant when do I have time to get a girl pregnant?" I was trying to joke
about the whole thing, redirect the subject and get him off my back.

 "It doesn't take hours to fuck some girl Michael.  And that  makes me have
another question about you. Are you still a virgin?  I almost  chocked on
the question. I was rapidly trying to think of how I was going to  answer him.

 "No I'm not as if it's any of your business."

 "Then I have another question for you. And don't just automatically
answer the question. Think before you speak. Look at it this way, engage your
brain before inserting your foot into your mouth." He said it so calmly,
without  any expression what so ever. I didn't know how to read him. Did he know
or was  he baiting me into revealing the truth about me.

 "Was it with a woman or a man?" I tried hard not to show any emotion  or
reaction.

 "And which do you think?" I didn't answer his question on purpose. I  was
fishing to see if he knew or not, or if he was just guessing and trying to
get to admit that I was gay.

 "To be honest, I'm not sure Michael. I'd like to think that it was  with a
women, but I've never seen or heard of you going with a girl long enough
to get to that stage. Unless I've been totally wrong about you and on the
second  date with a girl you've already jumped in bed with them. Or you've been
going  behind everyone's back and been getting sex with men when no one is
paying  attention.  But I have a hard time with that because I don't see you
  sneak away for any time that would allow you to hook up with a guy. But
that  doesn't mean anything."

 I just couldn't be sure with him, I still didn't know whether I  should
tell him or not. More like I didn't know if I could trust him or not and  the
was the whole key to the problem facing me, could I really trust my brother?
 You know what they say in for a penny in for a pound. Maybe it was time I
shared  it with someone. I just knew that I couldn't tell him who it was if
he asked. So  with all the guts I could muster and with all the courage I
had in me at that  exact moment. I was going to take the plunge.

 "Okay Roy, to answer your question, and so you'll stop wondering, it  was
with a man." I said it, out loud, and fast to someone else for the first
time in my life. I never told Steve, we just discovered that secret on our
own.  But this was my brother, the homophobic brother. And suddenly there was
electricity in the air, and he wasn't speaking. He sat there just looking at
me  not moving not doing anything but just looking at me and time just kept
passing.  The seconds were ticking by longer and longer and nothing was
being said by  either him or myself. Finally I couldn't stand the silence
anymore.

 "Are you going to say anything? Are you going to acknowledge what I  just
said to you? Are you going to hit me, hate me, just do something please
Roy, I just can't stand the silence right now."

 "Michael, I'm at a loss for words at the moment, I truly wasn't  expecting
you to tell me that piece of information. You've never been that  honest
with me and I am for once in my life lost."

 I hadn't expected that, the reaction I got from him was not the one  that
I had played out in my head a million times.  Before I had it all  figured
out I knew how he would scream at me, call me names, faggot, queer,  homo,
all the bad ones that you could think of I had imagined coming out of his
mouth if he ever found out. Well know he knew and he wasn't spewing any garbage
 out of his mouth. I was ready for the assault I wasn't ready for the
silence  that I was listening to. And again the silence just kept lingering with
neither  of us saying anything. I didn't know what he was thinking and I
didn't want him  to hate me, so I thought it best to just let him come to me
this time, let him  say what ever it was he wanted to say to me. I got up and
started walking around  the kitchen and cleaning up, seems I always clean up
when I'm at odds with  myself. And I began to wonder for the first time in
my life would my brother  really and truly disown me now that he knew his
brother was gay? I have never  given it serious thought because I always
assumed in my head that he would throw  me across the room, bash my head in and
do whatever bodily harm he could do to  me. He was after all a homophobic,
and aren't all of them people who beat us  gays up? Me, I was stereotyping
with my own brother. Perhaps I had been wrong  all along, perhaps he wouldn't
hate me.

 "I'm still don't know what to say to you Michael, I thought I would  hit
you and hate you. But I can't your my brother, whether I like it or not, you
are my little brother." And he said it with such compassion that I began to
 wonder if it was my brother who had just said that.

 "You don't hate me? Really?"

 "I'm a little surprised with your admission, but no I don't hate you.  I
don't understand it, but I don't hate you. I don't know what it is that you
see in wanting to go to bed with another man, it's just weird, that's  all."

 "First of all let me tell you that it's not just wanting to have sex  with
another man. I could have sex with any one. I want a man that's going to
love me for what and who I am. Isn't that what you want with a relationship
with  a women, someone who's going to love you for what and who you are? Or
is sex the  only thing that matters to you?

 "Let's not get to deep here Michael, I just wanted to help you with  what
ever problem was eating at you over the past couple of weeks. That's what
started this whole conversation, so let's get back to that. Now can you tell
me  the problem?"

 "I have to go back to the answer I gave you before, it's not that  simple.
I just can't tell you everything and how can you possibly help me if I
don't tell you the whole story?"

 "Is it because the other man is someone I know? That's it! That's why  you
can't tell me its because I know the guy your  involved with! You have  to
tell me who it is!" He was getting excited only because he thought I was
going to tell him and I couldn't. I couldn't betray that small piece of trust
that I had with Steve right now. Our relationship if you want to call it
that  was to fragile at this point for me to go and blurt out that he was gay
to my  brother. I mean at this point in time it was still just between him
and I, but  what was going to happen when we were in front of others. Would
he start telling  people that he know knew I was gay?

 "First and most importantly Roy, I cannot tell you who it is. They  have
their right to keeping their sexual preference quiet as do I. It's not
something that I go around telling everyone, your the first, I have never told
anyone that I'm gay. And I expect you not to tell anyone about me. You are to
 tell no one, is that understood  Roy? NO ONE! This is something I have
kept  secret all my life, do you know what would happen to me if people knew?
Some  will hate me and walk away from me, some of my male friends will begin
to keep  their distance and not really want to have anything to do with me.
I can't take  that chance, so please, please never tell anyone even if they
ask. If they do  ask, send them to me and I will deal with it just as I have
always dealt with  people who think I'm gay. Promise me you won't."

 "You mean it don't you? I can't tell anyone?  What about the  rest of the
family, what about Mom and Dad? What about your sister?"

 "I repeat, NO ONE ROY!"

 "Okay, Okay I get the picture, I won't tell anyone. Now are you going  to
tell me the problem or not?"

 "Let's put it this way. There is another guy, who for the first time  in
his life has discovered sex with another man.  And the whole concept of  a
relationship both physical and emotional is a lot for him to handle at this
moment in time. But I know he's not nearly ready to say anything to anyone
about  this and I'm sure he doesn't want anyone to know about us. And I also
believe,  and I only believe this because we have not had the chance to
discuss it in  depth. But I think he wants to have a physical and emotional
relationship, but  he just doesn't want anyone to find out. And I don't want to
run around with him  feeling like I'm a there for the sex and the
relationship just as long as no one  finds out. Does this make any sense?"

 "Well then let me ask you a question, didn't and don't you want to  keep
it secret? Didn't we just have this conversation about me not telling
anyone, no matter what? If that is indeed the case, then you need to shut up,
tell him your sorry and that you will take the relationship anyway you can have
 it at this moment in time. Stop being an asshole. You can't have it both
ways  Michael and when and if you two decide your ready then you'll tell
people. Feel  lucky that you have anyone right now."

 I realized then and there that I had highly underestimated my big
brother. He was totally right I had to go to Steve and tell him that we would  take
it as it comes and we'll just work things out slowly and cautiously. I was
on cloud nine, I was in heaven, he had solved my problem quickly. I wanted
to  hug him but thought better of it. I wasn't sure since he just found out
I was  gay that he would want a hug. But what the hell?

 "Can I hug you Roy?" And he let me and he held on for a few minutes  and
at the moment I was never closer to my brother than I was then. I will never
forgot that hug for as long as I live. For a brother who wasn't the
emotional  type, I felt like he really loved me and was proud that I had confided
in him  when I told him I was gay. I was sorry that I had doubted him all
those years. I  was sorry on what we might have missed out on because I had
held out that secret  all those years. Now I just had to get Steve alone so
that we could talk but  mostly so that I could say I was sorry and what a fool
I had been and how  selfish I had been and I could go on and on how much I
screwed up, but you get  the point. The only question was when.

 Being the boss and being in charge of making the schedule has it's
advantages. At least I could schedule his hours for the next few weeks to
co-inside with mine. I was going to make sure that we got some time together and  I
really felt the sooner I made it happen, the better. And on top of giving
him  the time off, I also had to make sure that in that time off we would be
able to  sit down with each other and talk. Okay so I had most of the
talking to do, But  every time I started thinking about what I was going to say
and how I was going  to say it, the bigger the feeling in the pit of my
stomach got. I kept telling  myself to not worry and to calm down that it would be
easier this time because  the hardest part was over, he already knew I was
gay. And that was what I  thought the biggest issue was so what could
possibly go wrong this time, he said  he just needed time to think about all of
this and time to think about a  relationship and were it might be going. But
what if in the time that had passed  he was having second thoughts? What if
he had decided that it's not really what  he wanted? Perhaps he was facing
the fact about what people would say if if got  out that we were having a
relationship. Especially our friends and even more so  with what his family
would think if they knew. I had to make this happen and  soon, I had to know
what he was thinking and feeling, guessing wasn't going to  cut it.

It took more time than I thought and another two  weeks had elapsed before
any opportunity to talk even presented itself, but at  least we were going
to be able to sit down and talk. My brother and cousin were  at work and
wouldn't be home for several hours and I knew Steve wasn't going to  be leaving
the house. This was the chance I had been waiting for the time that I
needed to really sit down and talk to him.

 "It's been awhile since we've been alone. I've been wanting to talk  to
you and perhaps we can clear the air between us. I don't like the way it's
been these past couple of weeks. You and I haven't really said two words to
each  other, here or at work and I can't stand that anymore. I have some
things I have  to say to you and I hope you'll listen and hear me out Steve." I
had an awkward  feeling in the pit of my stomach and I wasn't sure why, I
just knew I felt  uneasy.

 "Yeah, we do need to talk Michael, I don't like not talking to you  either
we've been through a lot since our friendship started, but especially
since the day we had sex, that really did change everything. I don't know what
you want me to say at this point in time so maybe you should go first." He
was  being honest with me but I had a feeling he was holding back I began to
hope  that what I had to say would calm whatever fears or doubts that he was
 having.

 "First of all I'm sorry for the things I said and the way I reacted  that
night. You'll never know how much I regretted saying what I did. I had no
right to jump on you like that. I should have automatically known that you
were  going to need time to think about what happened between you and I. I
realize now  that all of this really is new to you. Whether you enjoyed it or
not I can't  say, I would like to think you did, but I can't be certain. I
know you said it  was good, but now you have had time to think and analyze it.
I guess what I need  to know now is how you really feel about everything
and how you feel about us  and where we go from here." Well I said what I
wanted to and at least I felt  good that I had apologized to him, but at the
same time I was afraid of the next  thing he said.

 "Thank you Michael, at least you realized you were wrong. And it was
good, so don't worry about that, I enjoyed every second we spent in bed it's
something I will never forget." He had a smile on his face and he was saying
it  with a sincere emotion but I knew he wasn't finished yet.

 "It was more than I thought it would be I have never felt like that  in my
life, not even all the times with Sandy made me feel like I did that
night. And right now that's scaring the hell out of me." The pit in stomach just
got bigger why did I feel like this was going to end badly. Just like I
have so  many times before when it comes to things like this the tears started
to roll  down my cheeks. I hated myself at that moment more than anything I
didn't want  to do this in front of Steve, I didn't want to show any
weakness not now, of all  times I didn't want this to happen.

 "Michael, don't do that, I can't stand to see you cry. I don't know  why
it bothers me so much but it does. Please don't, take a deep breath for me."
Please..."

 "I'm sorry Steve I just know in my heart that this isn't going to go
well..I know that your going to..."

 "You don't know anything, stop projecting things. It pisses me off  when
people think they know what's going to happen." He was getting angry and I
didn't want him to go there, for sure things would end badly if it went in
that  direction.

 "I won't. It's just that I know you well enough to know that by the  way
your talking that what happened isn't going to go any further between us.
And I guess I let my emotions get away from me and had hoped that we would get
 back together and try to work things out, that's all." I was biting the
inside  of my cheek trying not to cry.

 "YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT!" He was screaming at me and man was he pissed  off
now. I had never ever seen Steve act like this, it was a new side of him.
And now I wasn't sure where we were headed. I was in place I had never been
before and I didn't know what to say to calm him down. I just stood there
waiting thinking and trying not to cry.

 "First of all Michael, I don't know where this is going between us,  like
I told you before this is new to me I never once in my life thought I could
even think about going to bed with another man and enjoy...no that's not
the  right word, more like love the way you made me feel. All those times with
Sandy  never made me so alive no where near the way you made me feel. I
never wanted  anything more than I wanted you that night and when I was inside
of you, we  connected in a way I never thought possible." It was him that
had tears in his  eyes now and I was really lost as to what to say but right
then I wanted nothing  more than to just put my arms around him and hold him
tight. I wanted to make  him feel better more than anything. I walked over
to him and took him by the  hands.

 "Steve, stop talking for a second, let me just hold you, can I do  that,
can I just put my arms around you?" He answered by lifting my hands to his
face and kissing my hands and then I put my arms around him and gently put
his  head on my shoulder. And there we stood for a few minutes just holding
one  another and quietly enjoying the embrace.

 "If you think you don't like seeing me cry, I can't even begin to  tell
you what it does to me to see you cry Steve, I'm sorry, so sorry for  hurting
you, I should have known better I should have known you as my friend and  I
should have known you would never just walk away even if you weren't sure
what  was going to happen between you and I."

We finally looked at  each other and for a few moments we just stood there
and looked into each eyes,  into each others hearts and each other souls.
There is no other way that I could  put it. That's just what it felt like,
like we were looking into each others  souls.

 "Listen Babe, and yes it's Babe. I don't know where we are going from
here, I'll admit that I'm scared to death about our future, because I don't
know  how everyone is going to react. I know that it's something you've hidden
all  your life, but I've always been honest with people, I've never backed
down  because I'm doing something that others don't agree with, and you know
that. So  our first problem isn't so much for me as it is for you Babe. Are
you ready to  let others know who you really are."

 "I've hidden for so long, worked at hiding who I was its not going to  be
easy for me to start telling people I'm gay. How come it's so easy for you
to  say that your gay all of a sudden when all your life you've been
straight? I  don't get it I guess."

 "Because Michael, I won't live a lie. Yes I'm sure that some of our
friends are going to turn their backs on us. That can't be helped, are they
really our friends if they walk away from us? Do you really want to keep friends
 that don't and won't except you for who you are? And the same goes for
family,  if they can't or won't except us, it's there problem not ours. And I
will be  really hurt if my family turns their backs on me. Yes I'll be hurt
but I won't  walk away from you again, once was enough for me."

 "Well I know that my brother won't."

"He knows  about us?"

 "Not about us, but he knows that I'm gay, he's the one that made me
realize that I had to get to you and apologize for what had happened. He let me
know that I was the one being an asshole to you. And he was the one person
on my  list that I thought would hate me when he found out that I was gay.
Boy did he  ever surprise me."

 "So, the question remains Babe, are you ready to let the world know  who
you really are?"

"Aren't you scared  to tell  everyone Steve? Your really that sure of
yourself that your ready to let the  world know that not only are you gay all of
a sudden but that you also already  have a boyfriend all in the same
sentence?"

 "I'll admit that I'm a little scared about that I won't lie  to  you, but
yes I'm ready, I said before Babe, I'm not going to live a lie. So if  your
ready to take on the world on a honest level than I'm ready to go forward
with you in my life, if you want to keep hiding than it will be by yourself
and  not with me. It's up to you Michael what is it that you want?"

 I hadn't expected this turn of events. He and I could go forward as  long
as I was willing to admit to the world I was gay. And if I did, I had a
boyfriend for the first time in my life, someone to share my life with for the
first time. I was scared to death. I was so comfortable living my life the
way I  had it, was I willing to give that up and live my life with Steve by
my  side?

"Do me a favor Steve, just hold me for now don't make  me make this
decision right at this very minute, just hold me close."

 "Okay Babe okay."

 And he held me, close. I was comfortable in his arms I was safe in  his
arms everything just felt so right with him by my side. I didn't want to  lose
this feeling he was giving me, I couldn't turn my back on him, he was
willing to stand by with me no matter what that meant. Would I ever find another
 man like this to share my life with?

 "Steve."

 "Yea Mike."

 "Are you sure this is what you want? Are your sure your ready to hear  the
name calling, the insults? Are you ready to be possibly be beaten up over
this? Because I can assure you those are all the possibilities. I've grown
up  with those insults and being called names, I've grown up with being
punched and  kicked because someone thought I was gay, and that was just because
they just  thought it, they weren't even sure. When they know for sure I
know what will  happen."

 "That's just people with small minds people that are afraid of what  they
don't know or don't understand. As far as being beat up, I can assure you
that if anyone tries that I won't be cowering in the corner, I will fight
back.  I will kick anyone's ass  that even tries to lay a finger on you. I know
 your not a fighter, physically anyway. You fight your battles in other
ways.  Your a pacifist and I'm not. I will stand up for what I believe in, and
right  now I believe in you and I."

 "You make it sound so easy Steve, I wish I could have the confidence  you
have. You've lived your life being so sure and stable. And I've lived my
life hiding and trying to watch every thing I do to make sure that people just
 leave me alone and not bother me."

 "Maybe it's time you stood up for yourself Babe maybe it's time to  start
enjoying your life and living it the way you really want to, isn't that  the
way you would like to be."

 "Yes, it is the way I want to live my life I just wish I was as  confident
as you are that's all I'm saying."

 "Then let's practice it, why don't we tell your brother first since  he
already knows that there is someone in your life? Why not practice with  him?

 I was a little shocked that he had someone picked out that we could  tell
but he was right, my brother was a good person to tell first. He already
knew that I was gay and that there was someone in my life. It would be
interesting to see what he had to say when he found out that it was Steve.
Because I knew that he didn't know it was Steve otherwise he would have said
something when I told him the truth about me. At the least he would have tried
to guess who it was, but he hadn't, so I was sure he didn't know it was
Steve.

 "Your on, we'll tell him together what do you think?"

 "Okay we'll tell him tonight when he gets home from work and then  we'll
tell Gary right after that."

 "Pushing it a little aren't we Steve." I was feeling really good at  the
moment. He was making me feel comfortable with him by my side. I was just
hoping I was going to feel the same way when we were standing in front of Roy
and Gary later that night.

 "So what would you like to do until then, we've got the house to
ourselves for a few hours want to make up for some lost time? I've been missing
that touch of yours Babe, I could use that right about now...wanna just kick
back with me." He said so softly, so gently I could have melted in his arms
right then.

 "Come on Studly lets just go sit on the couch and watch some TV for a
little bit and maybe just maybe and if your good, I'll reward you." Now I was
the one being sarcastic and I wanted to tease him a little, I wanted to get
him  worked up a little. Besides I didn't want to let him think I was just
an easy  lay, even though at that moment I would have dropped my clothes in a
heart beat  and yelled at him to do what ever he wanted to.

 "Going to play hard to get Michael?"

 "Maybe, but that's for me know and for you to find out, and I do  intend
for you to find out mister." I took him by the hand and led him into the
living room and turned on the TV before we sat down on the couch. I pushed him
down so that he was sitting in the corner of the couch. I picked up his
feet and  put one across the couch and dropped the other on to the floor and
then crawled  in between them as I laid down on the couch. I was in heaven
laying there with  his arms wrapped around me.

 "What do you want to watch?" He was still talking just above a  whisper,
it was so incredibly sexy the way he was talking.

 "Whatever you want to I just want to sit here with you at this  precise
moment. I don't really care what we watch. I'm not sure we'll get to the  end
of anything we start to watch now." He was running his fingers back and
forth on my arms, ever so lightly. It was making me relax that's all I knew at
that moment in time. And it was turning me on it was igniting a fire deep
within  me. A fire that only he could ignite and a fire only he could put
out. We just  laid there on the couch for a little while watching the
television, not saying  anything just laying there wrapped in each others arms.

 "I really do love you Michael more than I have ever loved anyone." He
whispered it in my ear and slowly kissed my ear and then started down my neck.
So softly, so gently he just kept kissing me and I laid my head upon his
shoulder and let him.

 "Oh Steve you make me feel so good, I never dreamt it would be like  this
with you. I never really believed that you and I would be together like
this."  I was in heaven and I was with the one man, the first man who loved  me
for who and what I was.

 I rolled slowly around so that I was facing him and I began to  unbutton
his shirt one button at a time. Slowly I pushed the material aside and
looked upon his chest and I began to kiss his neck and down to his chest and to
his nipples. Kissing one then the other lightly biting it licking it and
listened to his whimpers as I bit down on them. I could feel his hardness
against my chest as I continued to tease him with my tongue. He was almost
panting as i began to undo his belt.

 "Babe, please stop...let's go upstairs, I want you more than  anything,
but I don't want you here, I want you upstairs with me." I didn't want  to
stop but I was going with him. He took me by the hand and let from the couch
up the stairs and into my bedroom. Gently he pushed me on the bed and backed
up  so that he was about two feet away from me. He dropped his shirt off and
then  finished unbuckling his belt, slowly he pushed his pants down until
he had to  reach down and take them completely off. He stood there in his
underwear, his  erection was pulling the elastic away from his body. I held my
hands out  motioning him to come towards me. He did ever so slowly, he
walked up to me and  I took my hands to each of his sides and took his underwear
in my hands and  pulled them all the way down and took them off. His
erection was beautiful  pointing up and outward directly pointing at me. I pulled
him closer to me and  began to kiss the head of cock and slowly and gently
wrapped my mouth around his  cock and began to suck him further into me. He
was moaning and had taken his  hands and held my head on both sides as I
continued to suck him.

 "Oh Babe, yea, keep doing that. oh yea oh god yes...." His cock felt  like
velvet in my mouth I didn't want to stop giving him this pleasure. I was in
 love with him I was in lust with him I wanted to give him everything I
could at  that moment. Time was standing still in my mind.

 "Oh Michael oh my god that feels so good, your mouth is so good doing
that. If you keep that up I'm going to cum in your mouth." I wasn't going to
stop to speak to him I just kept doing what I was doing.

 "God oh please oh Babe, I'm getting close Michael, don't do it not  yet
wait, please wait I want to give you this like I did the first time." He was
panting the whole time he was talking to me. I knew he was close but I
wanted to  bring him closer to the edge, closer to losing control. He grabbed my
head  harder he thrust his hips a little harder.

 "Yes, I'm going to cum...."

 And with that I pulled my head off his cock grabbing his hips and  holding
onto them with all my might. He wanted desperately to shove his cock  back
down my throat. He wanted to cum more than anything but I had other plans
for him to unload his sperm. and I wanted it inside of me just like the first
 time  But I was going to hang on to being in control of this I was going
to  make him beg this time. I stood up and put my arms around him he was
grinding  his hips against me, I knew he was trying hard to unload. I kissed him
hard and  pushed his hips away from me just enough so that there wasn't
that much pressure  between us. I slipped my tongue into his mouth and ran
around every surface that  I could.

 "SShhss...Steve.  Ssshhh...slow down, easy man easy, relax. slow  down for
me, you can do it.  Come on man slow down for me. Why don't you  lay down
on the bed on your stomach and let me give you a good back rub."   I don't
think he thought I was going to go in this direction but he complied and  did
as I had asked. I straddled him sitting on his ass and I leaned down and
slowly began to rub his back. I used pressure and at times I merely ran my
hands  over his back and his shoulders. I just kept doing that and finally he
did begin  to relax and settle down for me. I  moved down a little and slowly
I began  to kiss the back of his neck and down between his shoulder blades.
Running my  tongue along those blades.  I kept alternating between rubbing
and kissing  and slowly I worked my way down his back and I finally found
myself holding his  ass in my hands rubbing them and kissing those wonderful
globes of flesh. Before  I could think I ran my tongue from the bottom of his
spine down the crack of his  globes and right to his hole. I ran my tongue
into it and he was gasping and  moaning and bringing his ass off the bed so
that I had better access to his  hole. The more he rose his hips up the more
room I had to pull back on his balls  and I took one of them into my mouth
and was sucking hard on it. I was driving  him crazy and I loved every
minute of it.

 "Oh my god Babe, I've never felt anything like that before in my  life.
You can do that as long as you want." And with that I stopped and pulled  on
him to turn over and I spread his legs and crawled up between them. And I
knelt on my knees and just looked at him the way he was. He was beautiful. How
 did I get so lucky to find a man this beautiful that wanted me? I put my
hands  on his knees and took a deep breath.

 "Why am I so lucky? How come I found you? How come you want me Steve?
Maybe it wasn't the time to ask but he was making me feel so good about myself.
 I don't know how he does that, but he does, he makes me feel like a
million  bucks when I am with him.

 "I don't know Babe, I don't know. But right now you've given me all  the
pleasure if I can't explain why I make you feel so good, why don't you just
let me show you?" There he was being sexy again and I just melted. He pulled
me  towards him and then on top of him and he wrapped his arms around me
and began  rubbing my back and kissing me.

 "What I need right now is to be inside of you Babe, I want to feel  you
inside I want to make love to you like you should be made love to." He was  so
gentle with me.

 He rolled me over so that he was on top he reached down and grabbed  my
legs and pushed my knees back to my chest.  I knew what he wanted and I
wanted to let him have it.

 "Steve, do what ever you want I'm all yours and always will  be."

He kissed me hard and gently at the same time he rubbed  his cock back and
forth against my hole and I quivered almost every time he did.  The precum
from his cock was making every thing wet around my hole and the more  he went
back and forth the wetter it got. At the rate he was going he wasn't  going
to need and lube to enter me. And then I felt him push the knob of his
cock against me. I tried to relax for him. He reached down to take hold of his
cock and lined it up with my hole and he started to push. I felt the ridge
of  his dick enter me and slowly and carefully he kept rocking in and out
until I  felt him bottom out and I knew he was all the way in. And as much as
it hurt it  felt good and he just laid there slowly rocking back and forth
and in and out  until it began to feel really good.

 "Oh man Steve just keep doing that keep rocking back and forth. Oh my  god
you feel so good inside of me. Oh yea your hitting my button really good.
Don't stop."

 "No way I want to make this last, I want to keep being inside of you  for
as long as I can. This feels so good to be like this with you." And he kept
it up and would go slow and then he began to speed up to the point of
almost  making me move in the bed. He continued like this for what seem like
forever.

 "Oh my God Steve, you have to give it to me, I'm going to cum soon  and I
want to cum when you do."

 `"Oh yea, then let's do it, let's finish this love making." And with  that
he quickened his pace. He leaned down and kissed my face, my neck, all over
 he kissed every surface that he could touch with his lips. And the moment
was  coming closer every thrust he made into me.

"OH MAN, I'm  going to cum Steve, I'm going to..." And with that  I
exploded. It struck  my chin and chest I erupted more and I felt him drive his cock
into me and then  hold perfectly still as he unloaded his cum into me, I
grabbed onto his back and  pulled him into me as much as I could. I wanted
every inch of him inside of me I  didn't want this to end, ever.

 "Oh Babe, that was incredible, your so fuckin good. I thought my head  was
going to blow off." I just held him as hard as I could as he laid his body
weight against me. I just wanted to lay there and let the whole experience
never  end. And he laid there and didn't move he just slowly started kissing
my neck  and shoulder as I held him tight. Laying there with him I thought
about the  first time we did this and thought had good that had been but
this time was even  better.

 "Your the one that's incredible mister. No one has ever made me feel  like
you do, and I don't mean that sexually since your the first one I ever had
sex with. You've spoiled me, if anything ever happens between us no one
would be  able to come close to the way you make me feel Studly." He slowly
rolled off of  me and laid down next to me. He was on his side propped up on
his elbow and  holding his head in his hand. He looked more adorable than
before. And he just  looked at me and smiled.

 "I never thought in a million years that I would want to go to bed  with a
man, and I never thought it would be with you. Okay I did fantasize about
it before we actually did it. And my imagination paled in comparison to the
real  thing Michael. Like I said before even Sandy never made me feel like
this. You  take my breath away. Do you know how hard it's been the past
couple of weeks and  we weren't talking? That is never to be repeated do you
understand that?" He  stopped talking and just looked at me again and he took
his free hand and slowly  made small circles on my chest and stomach and then
laid his hand down and just  rubbed my chest and stomach.

 "I do know how hard it was, I wanted more than anything to just take  you
by the hand and bring you into my bedroom and just kiss you all over, I
wanted to hold you so bad it hurt. But I was stupid and let my pigheadedness
get  in the way. But as soon as I realized the mistake I made and that I had
to make  it right I did. I hope that you will forgive me for that and forget
it ever  happened, can you do that for me Steve?"

 "Then lets talk of it no more, the subject is closed for good. The  next
time you want to yell and fight with me tell me in advance and we will save
a lot of time and grief, okay?" God how I loved when he reasoned with me, he
 just had this voice that went right to my heart and soul. How can you not
love a  man that has that ability?

 "Do you want to get something to eat, I haven't since breakfast  Mikey?"

 "Do not call me Mikey that drives me crazy I am not some little kid  on a
cereal box asshole." I was kidding with him and he knew it and I knew he
was going to continue to bait me into fighting with him. sometimes he did that
 just to get my goat and to see what I would say or do in order to get him
to  stop. I think sometimes he was just trying to toughen me up and not to
be such a  pacifist about things.

 "And what pray tell could you possibly do to make me stop MIKEY?"

 "For beginners asshole I happen to know that someone is very ticklish  and
hates more than anything to be ticked. Is that what you want? Is that what
your looking for mister?"

 "You haven't got the balls or the strength to do it. And besides that
would be really cruel right now since you've trained me of all my strength
just  a few minutes ago, and you wouldn't do that to poor me would you?" He
was trying  not to laugh just as much as I was.

 "Oh yes SIR, I could and would do that to you, you little  shit!"

 "Such language from my best friend and lover no less!"

 I rolled over towards him and brought my hand to his side just above  his
waist and just let it lay there. I was half grinning at him.

 "Now what were you saying about what I wouldn't do? I believe it was
something like I didn't have the balls, is that about right STEVIE?" I wanted
to  just stop then and there but I couldn't. I had to do this to him he had
earned  it after all. He was the one that had started the whole thing. And I
did, I  began to wiggle my fingers into his side and he began to laugh and
squirm all  over the bed. And the more he laughed the more determined I was
to really make  him pay. I got up on my knees and took hold of both sides of
him and began  working my fingers up his sides and into his arm pits. I was
laughing just as  hard as he was.

 "Don't Babe, I'll stop........I won't call.......you that.........I
promise." He was trying so hard to say the whole sentence without laughing but
he couldn't. I had him at my mercy.

 "Stop.....or I will.....get you........back...... I"ll....."

 "You will what? Just what do you think you can do, your mine I'm  going
to drive you crazy, I want to make sure you don't call me Mikey anymore.  Say
Uncle and I will let you up."

 "NO....I won't...I...."

 "I'm sorry I didn't catch what you said Stevie.  Let me help you  make
your mind up!"

 "OKay Okay....Uncle Uncle....there I said...it!" I stopped and let  him
go and we both just laid down on the bed and laughed. Once we had caught our
breath I just had to ask him.

 "So you think your going to call me Mikey anymore, and think before  you
answer, your still in a weakened state and I will take full advantage of
that fact mister!"

 "You win, I won't call you that anymore, but I reserve the right to
possibly call you that again Babe."

 "Then you know what will happen if you do. And if you do it when we  aren'
t in bed, then I reserve the right to wait, and get you back when I feel
the time is right, say right after I drain your balls some night."

 "You think your so smart don't you Babe?"

 "Got you didn't I?"

 He just looked at me for a minute and laid his head on the pillow and
pulled me down so my head was laying on his chest. He took his arm and wrapped
around me and started rubbing my back. I just relaxed and snuggled in
closer and  reached down to pull up the sheet and blanket to go over us. And we
both just  laid there not saying anything. I knew I was content and I
believed he was  to.  Before long we both drifted off to sleep.

 I'm not sure how much time had passed when I woke up, but someone was
knocking on the door and wanting to come in. I just figured it was my brother I
 knew he was off the schedule before Gary. Steve had come to and looked at
me.

 "What a second, I'm not..." And in walked Gary. Since neither of us  had
time to move the picture before Gary said it all. He stood there and just
looked at us not sure of what to say or how to act. I could see it dawn on
him  the reality of the situation.

 "Gary, let me say something before you do. I think we need to talk  and to
tell you what's going really going on."

 "I can see what the fuck is going on, you two motherfuckers are  fucking
queer for each other!" He didn't hold anything back in the tone of his
voice, Gary was definitely pissed off.

 "I don't want anything to do with you fucking queers, this makes me  sick
to just look at you two." Well he certainly surprised me, he was the one I
thought if I told would be the understanding one. By his reaction I was off
by a  mile guessing this out pouring of pure hatred that was coming from my
cousin. I  didn't know what to say because I just hadn't expected him to
react like this.  Thank God Steve is the one that can hold himself together
in moments like this.  He sprang off the bed and cut Gary off from leaving
the room.

 "Just one fucking minute Gary. You have no fucking right saying that  to
him or to me. But especially him, he's your cousin. And you owe him at least
the courtesy of an explanation and also you owe me the courtesy of hearing
me  out. You and I have been the best of friends since about third grade.
Now, your  going to sit down and listen to him and then to me. Got it?" They
both just  stood there, Steve was standing against the door so there was no
way Gary was  getting out of the room that easily. It got really quiet and no
one was saying  anything.

 "Come on Gary, please just let me explain, don't just hate me yet.  Can
you at least listen without passing judgment on me or Steve?"

 "Do I have a choice?" It was like venom coming out of his  mouth.

 "First of all, of all the people I thought I could tell my secret to  was
to you. I thought you would be the one person who would understand and not

pass judgment on me thinking I was some kind of freak or some kind of sicko.
And  the one person I thought I couldn't tell, was the one person who didn'
t even bat  an eye when I told him, and that was Roy. He knows about me,
but he doesn't know  about Steve yet, we were going to tell you both tonight
when you got home from  work. Will you please sit down and let me talk to you?
"

 "Alright, I'm listening."

 "Gary, I've known for a long time that I was gay since I was a kid.  But
I could never tell anyone because I was afraid of what they might say or
more importantly what they might do to me. I have lived my whole life in fear
of  people knowing. Roy was the first one I ever told. And I wanted you to
be the  second. It's bad enough I have had to hide who I am for all those
years. But  Steve has convinced me that we aren't going to live a lie. So, now
you know and  I don't know what I can say to you to make you understand how
it is and how we  feel about each other. I know that it's a lot to handle
but I really believe  that you've got a big heart and that your not going to
throw away your  friendship with Steve or the friendship that you and I have
developed over the  years. We maybe just cousins, but to me it's more than
that, to me your family,  and as far as I'm concerned family sticks together
no matter what, good or bad."  Gary just sat there and looked from me and
then back to Steve. Finally Steve  spoke up and added his two cents.

 "Bro..you and I have been through thick and thin over the years.  We've
gotten into trouble together, we've gotten drunk more times than I care to
count. We've grown up together and I wouldn't trade that for anything I love
you  as I love my own brother, and you know that, and I believe you feel
the same  way. Are you really just going to say fuck you to the both of us and
close the  door? I don't think so, I know you better than that. And if you
do then you'll  be missing out on two friends that really care about you."
He just stood there  looking back and forth at us, not saying anything. I
was still laying in bed and  Steve was still standing at the door, naked to. I
reached down and threw him his  pants to put on.

 "So let me get this straight, you've been gay all your life  right?

 "Yes, that's right."

 "And Steve have you been gay all your life to, because I seem to  remember
you and I double dating a few times and it sure seemed to me that you  weren
't gay, or were you hiding it to all these years and just didn't tell me
either?"

 "No, this is new to me Gary, I can't explain how and why it happened
between Michael and I but it just did. He was there for me when Sandy and I
split up, he was my shoulder to cry on, he listened and just seem to
understand  what I was going through at the time. And the more time that passed after
Sandy  and I went our separate ways, the closer Michael and I became. And
for some  reason that I will admit I don't understand I fell in love with
him, he made me  think about things I have never thought about, he makes me
feel like no one has  ever made me feel. I wish I could explain it to you so
that you would  understand, but at the same time I'm still not sure about
everything I just know  that he makes me happy and I have made him happy, isn't
that all that matters?"  I wanted to cry he said it so beautifully and with
such heart. I felt a my eyes  getting moist and I bit my tongue so I wouldn'
t shed a tear, this was not the  time for that.

 "I still think it's gross the two of you in bed with each other. I  don't
know if I want to throw up or not. I can just see Eileen when she finds
out about this. And what the hell are you going to tell your parents Steve,
your  father is going to flip and your mother is going to have a stroke. You
two are  fucking crazy if you think everyone is just going to go along with
this and not  say anything."  At least he had calmed down and at the same
time I knew he  was right about parents and others but for now it was going to
be one bridge at  a time.

 "Your right Gary, but I think that most people will be okay with it,  Yes,
your right about his parents as well as mine. But we will cross that bridge
 when we get to it, for now we are just starting with you and Roy and I'm
going  to ask you to please not say anything to anyone about this, let us
handle it the  way we want to for as long as we can. I don't want parents
finding out via the  grapevine. I want them all to find out from us, will you do
that for me  please:"

 "I suppose I can do that, but I wouldn't wait for to long to let them
know, things have a way of getting around, I promise it won't start from me
and  I won't tell Eileen anything, but if she asks all of a sudden I'm not
going to  lie to her Michael."

 "That's all I ask Gary that's all I ask. And just please think about
this for now and don't turn your back on us to quickly, Steve and I both value
your friendship. Just as you and Steve have been through a lot together,
you and  I have been through a lot also. I don't want to see that disappear
just because  you found out that we are gay."  I felt like we had gotten
through to him  at least I truly hoped we had gotten to him. I didn't want him
running to the  family and telling them before I could get to my parents and
tell them. And I  thought for a moment about my father and how he was going
to react, my father  was brought up old school, man and wife, children the
whole nine yards, He  didn't bash gays per say, but he let you know that God
didn't intend for man to  lie down together. But one thing at a time. Roy
would be home soon and he was  next on the list to tell. We didn't have to wait
long before he was home.

 "Hey Roy can we talk to you for a minute?" I didn't think it sounded  odd
but he picked up on something.

 "What's the matter? You having another problem, or is it the same  problem
and you haven't figured it out yet?" He sounded sincere just like when  we
talked the first time when I told him.

 "Nothing is the matter, everything is good really everything is  good."
And without blinking an eye he turned around and looked me in the eye and  in
just a matter of fact tone of voice he blurted out...

 "So it's you and Steve is that what your going to tell me?" I just  looked
at him. He's not stupid so my first thought was that he just put two and
two together. But then I had second thoughts and began to think that Gary had
 told him already. I was starting to get mad thinking that was what
happened so I  had to make sure before I opened my mouth and started in on Gary.

 "Did Gary tell you this, or did you just connect the dots?"

 "No, Gary didn't tell me, why, does he know? I thought about what you
told me when you told me you were gay and the problem that you were having. I
just started thinking about a few things and before long I just came to a
logical conclusion that it was Steve that you were talking about. And then I
started to pay attention to the both of you and I saw the way you looked at
each  other when you thought no one was paying attention to you. I also
picked up on  the way you two were all of a sudden not really talking to each
other, it was  more like you just talked to one another if you had to, and
that wasn't like you  two at all."

 "Your right, it is Steve, are you surprised?" I was relieved that he  had
figured it out because he knew and didn't say anything to me the whole time,
 he waited for me to actually tell him. I was beginning to realize that I
needed  to give more credit than I ever had he was becoming my strongest ally.

 "I'm glad you know Roy I'm relieved that you also didn't say  anything.
But I owe you an apology for even thinking that you would freak out  and beat
me to a pulp when you found out, I was truly mistaken. Forgive me?" I
didn't know what else to say to him I was grateful he was on my side.

 "Don't worry about it, I'm not saying that I think everything is
wonderful but your my brother and family comes first, no matter what. I don't  agree
with the gay thing one hundred percent, but I'm closer to it now than I
was a few weeks ago. Since then I've had time to give it some serious thought
and I realized that I've seen you in a new light and I'm sorry that you
have  lived your life in secret feeling afraid that you couldn't tell me
because of  things I have said about gays and what I would do to them. You've
opened up my  eyes Michael, so you may apologize to me about how you were wrong
in what I  would do to you, but at the same time I need to apologize to you
for being part  of the problem in your life and making you afraid to tell me
from the beginning  when you knew you were gay. I guess we've both learned
something new about each  other." I walked over to him and gave him the
biggest hug I could, I didn't say  another word I just hung on to him for a few
minutes and wouldn't let him go. It  was Steve that finally broke the air.

 "Okay you two times up for the hugging, I'm getting jealous Babe." He  was
being his usual jovial sarcastic self god how I admired that in him.

 "Oh, your gross Steve I don't want to hear that shit." My brother  pushed
me away as he rattled off to Steve.

"I don't want to  hear about you two and how you feel for each other, keep
a lid on it when your  around me and there will be no hugging or kissing or
things like that when I'm  in the room, you two got that?" He was being as
serious as he could be at that  moment. He wasn't being mean he was just
being Roy.

 "I'm not sure I can live with those rules Roy, Babe here and me might  get
horny and just need to swap some tongue and sometimes he gets me to the
point that I can't control myself." Steve was half laughing as he told this to
 my brother who just stood there looking at Steve like he was out of his
mind.

 "As a matter of fact right now I'm really feeling like grabbing his  ass
and sucking on his neck for a few minutes. Hope you don't mind." And with
that being said Steve walked up to me, wrapped his arms around me, grabbed my
ass and started kissing and licking my neck.

 "Oh you two are fucking sick, get out of my face, get a room or just  go
to your room, close the door and don't even make a noise I can hear. If you
do I'll kill the both of you!" He was walking away from us as he said this
and  Steve and I just laughed and followed him into the living room, still
laughing.

 Well at least the first two people we told went pretty well. At least  Roy
had time to think about it before we told him. Unfortunately Gary didn't
have that time, we just had to spring it on him because he had walked into my
 bedroom and caught us. There was nothing we could do but confess to what
the  situation was. I really thought that he would be okay in the long run.
Boy was I  ever wrong about him the one person I really thought would be
supportive when it  came down to it. There wasn't going to be the time we had
counted on to tell  anyone in the family. Two days later the phone rang and my
mother was on the  phone. She hung up on me before I could even say
anything, but she had said  plenty in the short time that she had been on the phone
screaming at me. I knew  my mother might be upset when she found out but I
wasn't ready for the tongue  lashing I had taken from her. I finally put the
phone down and made my way up  the stairs and into my room. Steve was
laying there watching the tube, he looked  up at me.

 "What's the matter Babe, what's wrong?"  I walked over to the  bed sat
down and just dropped my head and began to cry. Steve was off the bed  and came
around to where I was sitting, took me in his arms and just held me,
telling me that everything was going to be okay no matter what. And he didn't
even know what was wrong I just couldn't talk the tears were streaming down my
 face and all I wanted to do was throw up.


Let me know if you want to know anymore about Mike and  Steve.