Date: Tue, 14 Dec 2010 22:38:27 EST
From: Aragon76@aol.com
Subject: Steve and Mike Chapter 3

If your not 18 you shouldn't be reading this come back when your old
enough.  This story contains sex between two males without the use of  condoms.
I strongly urge any male out there having sex with anyone to use  condoms.
Being safe is the only way to play and live a healthy life  without the fear
of std's.  Be smart. Be safe. If you enjoy this story let  me know I am
enjoying writing this and might continue with some more of this  story and what
happens between Mike and Steve.  All rights belong to the  author. Contact
me at _Aragon76@aol.com_ (mailto:Aragon76@aol.com)   with comments thoughts
and suggestions you might have. Enjoy if nothing else!  Thanks in advance to
any and all replies they mean a lot to me and my writing  ideas.


My world had just been shattered by the one person I was certain  wouldn't
turn their back on me if the truth had ever came out, and she did. The  only
person I could logically place the blame on was Gary, I had to ask Roy
first just to make sure I was right. But first I had to find him it was Sunday
and none of us worked that day. It was the only day the restaurant was
closed.  It was the one thing I hated about working in the restaurant business
the hours  were long and the only way you really got a day off that you could
count on was  if the place was closed. And when your the manager it always
seemed that even on  those days off you had something to finish up before
the week started. So I  started placing phone calls trying to locate him.
During the early eighties cell  phones didn't exist so trying to track someone
down when you weren't sure where  they might be was a little bit of a
challenge. And it took some time when you  were looking for someone.

 I was sitting in the kitchen going through the phone numbers I had,  still
trying to find Roy when Steve came in.

 "You okay Babe? You still don't look that good, I don't want you  getting
yourself all worked up over this. I know it was a shock and you weren't
expecting it and it sucks that she came at you like that without giving you a
chance to say anything." He took my hands off the phone and held them in
his,  still looking into my eyes as he continued to talk to me.

 "Remember, I'm sticking with you, I'm not going to walk away Babe.  This
might get really ugly and I know that, but I'm not giving up and neither  are
you. You can lean on me all you want or need to. Because what if my mother
and father act the same way? After all both of our parents grew up at the
same  time so you know where that puts their mind set. It's not going to be
easy and I  knew that when I began to realize that I wanted to have you in my
life, not as a  friend but as my lover and boyfriend. Maybe the day will
come when we  can...mmm...." He was struggling, about what I wasn't sure. He
was always so  confident when he spoke about things, but he wasn't being that
way at this  particular moment.

 "What, maybe the day will come when what?" I wasn't sure what he was
trying to say to me."

 "Just hear me out before you say anything, I have something to say  I'm
just not sure how to say it to you." He was pacing back and forth from one
side of the room to the other and he began to pick up and straighten things
out.  I was really getting nervous now, when ever Steve started acting like
this I  knew he had something to say and he was working it out in his head as
how to say  it. I was starting to think that maybe he was getting second
thoughts that maybe  he was beginning to really think about how it was going to
be when his parents  found out. And what it would mean if they treated him
like my mother had just  treated me. I wanted to throw up in the worst way.

 "I'm not sure how to say this to you, I'm not saying I haven't  thought
about it, but I have. I just don't know how to go about saying what I'm
thinking. I know it's not possible but that's really beside the point."

 "What are you getting at? What's not possible? Come on Steve, just  spit
it out, I'll be honest and tell you that you are starting to make me
nervous. I'm getting an uneasy feeling in my stomach. You want to just close  your
eyes and not look at me while you say it? Maybe that will make it easier
for you to say. Just don't tell me that your thinking maybe we shouldn't jump
into this so quickly, please don't tell me...."

 "Whoa, slow down Michael, I am certainly not going to tell you that.  By
no means or stretch of the imagination am I thinking like that. Okay, sit
down for me and just take a deep breath okay?" So I did as he asked and sat
back  down on the edge of the bed, I closed my eyes and took a really deep
breath and  exhaled slowly. I was trying to relax just as he had asked.

 "Okay mister, I've settled down, I've taken a good deep breath. So  it's
your turn to just tell me what your thinking. You know that I pretty much  go
along with what ever you say" Trying to keep things on the light side and
not  make this such a heavy conversation I tried to joke with him a little.

 "OH YES SIR! Whatever you say sir I will do as the master wishes. I  do
not wish to displease him." I was half laughing as I said it to him and as
least it made him smile for me. I really did love the way he smiled at me. He
walked over to me and got down on both knees and wrapped his arms around
me.

 "I just want to hug you for a minute, you always seem to know what to  say
to me sometimes when I'm struggling with ten thousand thoughts running
around in my head and trying to sort them out. Listen carefully and wait to say
 anything until I'm done and tell you that you can talk, because I want to
get  this all out, and I don't want to screw up what I'm about to say, can
you do  that for me?" He was really serious, I went back into nervous mode
but I wasn't  going to let on to that fact. I wanted him to feel like he could
tell me  whatever it was that he had to say.

 "All right Steve, all kidding aside the floor is all yours, I promise  not
to say anything until you tell me it's okay." He took both my hands and
wrapped his around mine.

 "I know this has really just begun for you and I. I know that you  have
lived your whole life trying to hide the fact that you are gay. I certainly
never knew and with all the time that you and I spent together over the past
few  years, it did surprise me when I found out you really were. Boy was I
surprised  Mike. That first time that we spent together, man was that....but
that's not  what I want to talk about. I don't know what's going to happen
in the next  couple of months as other people and family members begin to
find out about us.  But this I do know.." He paused and took a really deep
breath before he  continued.

 "You mean more to me than any other person that has played a part in  my
life. I don't know what I would do if you decided to walk away from me at
this point in time, I don't know how I would handle it to be honest with you.
So, I don't want to take the chance that you'll even think of leaving me, I
 don't want to lose you if the going gets really tough in the next couple
of  months. I want you, I want you now, I want you tomorrow I want you......I
want  you to be with me for the rest of my life. I couldn't stand the
thought of you  not being there in the morning when I wake up, even in the short
time that you  and I have started sharing the same room. I know we can't get
married, but maybe  someday things will change and we could get married.
But in the meantime I'm  asking you to just say yes to staying with me,
sharing my life with me, sharing  everything with me. I don't want to be without
you Michael. I love you with all  my heart and soul and I'll stand by you and
take care of you because I want to  take care of you. Will you share my
life with me Babe? If you need time to   think about it, you take all the time
you need I'll wait for you to make that  decision, I know it's a lot to ask,
and maybe it sounds crazy. And if you want a  ring I'll give you one and if
you don't that's okay to. Just think about it  before you answer me, don't
make any snap decisions. Okay, I'm done. The floor  is all yours, just think
about it, that's all I ask hon."  He just kept  looking into my eyes, my
red swollen puffy tear filled eyes. I so hate when I  fucking cry in front of
him, it pisses me off to know end. And I just sat there  looking back at him
not knowing what to say or what to do. He just shocked the  hell out of me
by everything he had just said.

 "I'm.......I......I think ....... I ....um......" I just kept  blubbering
with heavy sighs in between in the words that I couldn't get to come  out of
my mouth. The words that I couldn't make any sense out of. He gently put
my hands down, placed his on each side of my face along the jaw line and
gently  pulled me towards him. And he kissed me, sweetly and with passion I
guess he was  trying to shut me up since I couldn't get the words out. Finally
he stopped and  looked back into my eyes and told me....

 "Take a deep breath, exhale slowly and then you will get the words  out
Babe, just take you time." And I did.

 "Okay, I'm okay now. That was a mouthful mister. I have never felt so
wanted by anyone in my entire life do you realize that? I have never felt like
you just made me feel. In this short time as you so tenderly put I have
fallen  more in love with you. I have loved you long before we both discovered
that we  both felt the same way. I don't need a ring to know that you love
me, I don't  need a ring to remind me that I have you in my life. I don't
need a ring to  remind me that I have made a commitment to the one person that
I love. I'll wear  a ring to remind me that I'm lucky enough to have a man
that loves and respects  me for who and what I am. I'll wear it because I
know you'll take of me no  matter what. Whether family and friends walk away or
stay close, whatever  happens in the future, I to couldn't think of my life
without you being in it  Steve. So if I haven't answered your question to
your satisfaction by now, then  yes Steve I'll share the rest of my life with
you. And your right we might never  be able to walk down an aisle or we
might never have the  right to be  married. But as far as I'm concerned if you
put that ring on my finger, and I  put a ring on your finger then no more
needs to be said or done. You and I will  know what it means and that's all
that matters to me. So whenever you want to  get those rings, from that day
forward you'll know that I'll never want to leave  you. Does that answer your
question mister?" And it was he who had the tears in  his eyes this time,
not me. Of course I was already cried out by this point in  our conversation.

 "Yes Babe, yes that answers my question. Do you want to pick out the
rings together or do you want me to pick them out for us?"

 "Surprise me, you pick, But...just don't hand me the box they come in  and
say here you go. If you do I'll smack you in the head."

 "What am I supposed to do?"

 "You'll figure something out, you have brains and you certainly know  how
to push my buttons and make me happy, so be creative that's all I ask, is
that to much?" I was joking with him because I knew he wouldn't even think
about  buying those rings and just throwing me the box and tell me to just put
it  on.

 "You have a good romantic side when you stop and think about it, so I
know you won't disappoint me mister."

 "And yea, what's with the Mister thing lately? I haven't heard Studly
much, even though we know I am."  Back to his usual sarcastic self.   It made
me laugh.

 "I told you I would pick another nickname for you, mister might be  the
one I use for now, remember I told you that it might be worse than Studly So
from now mister. And the minute I said it, I didn't like it, I was going to
have  to figure out another one for him. And it had to be good, something I
could  really tease him about. I instantly knew what to call him.

 "Hey, SAD SACK!"

 "Sad Sack, where in the hell did that come from?"

 "Well your initials are SAC so that gets to Sack and you have a big  sack
hanging in a particular place and it's sad to see them covered up where I
can't always get to them like I'd like to...." I was trying not to laugh and
just couldn't wait to hear what he was going to say about this name.

 "Your sick Michael, do you know that your sick. Only you could come  up
with something like that." He was laughing the whole time he was talking to
me. I had a nickname for him, at least for now, I still might have to think
of  another for him, because that one I knew I couldn't be calling him in
public.  The laughter finally died down between us.

 "Okay Steve, back to reality. What am I going to do about my mother  and
father? Should I just let things go for now and not say anything or should I
just go there and try to talk to them? I don't know what to do, and I do
want to  know how they found out. I really think it had to be Gary. Roy just
seemed like  he wouldn't say anything the way he reacted to the whole
situation when he told  him. Only Gary was the one that didn't really like it, but
even when he walked  out that night I was sure that he wouldn't say
anything. He even said he  wouldn't tell Eileen. And you and I both know Gary well
enough to know that when  he says he won't do something, he doesn't. But he's
the only one that looks like  he did tell. But I could be wrong about both
and could have it totally wrong.  I'll have to talk to Roy first and ask him
see what he has to say." It was the  only thing I could do. I had to wait
for Roy to get home and then ask him.

 He got home late that night so I didn't have the chance to talk to  him or
ask him anything. I left a not on his bed saying that I needed to talk to
him and that it was important. Gary wasn't coming home that night because he
was  spending the night at Eileen's place. He had been staying off and on
at her  place lately. At the rate things were going I knew before to long
that those two  would end up getting married. As long as she didn't get
pregnant it would be  longer than sooner. If there was an accident it would be
sooner. So a few days  passed before we really had a chance to talk to either
one of them. We certainly  couldn't do any talking at work about this. It was
Wednesday night before I  could really talk to Roy.

 "I have something I have to ask you Roy and please be honest with me.  Did
you tell Mom and Dad about me?" I just left it at that, I wasn't going to
get into anything and I was trying to hold my self together in case he said
he  did. I knew Steve was in the living room but I also new that he was
listening to  every word that was going on between us. He told me that he would
jump in if  anything happened or it started getting ugly between my brother
and I. Of course  that was under the assumption that he had told them.

 "What do you mean, you mean about the gay thing?"

 "Yes, the gay thing." I had to smirk a little the way he put it. He
didn't make it sound like a disease, but he was close to it.

 "Did you say anything to them at all? Mom called me Sunday and let me
have it both barrels about what a sick and twisted life I was living. Her and
Dad have pretty much told me not to show up at the house. They don't want
anything to do with me. I just want to know if you said anything to them, if
it  wasn't you then it was Gary and I'll deal with him if that's the case."
I was  starting to get pissed but I was trying very hard not to say or do
anything  stupid.

 "No, I didn't tell them anything about you. I haven't seen them or  talked
to either one of them lately." I had a feeling he wasn't being totally
honest, I wasn't sure why but I had this nagging feeling that he wasn't putting
 all the cards out on the table.

 "You said nothing, not slipped and said something by mistake? Or  maybe
you said something to Cindy and didn't mean to.  If that's what  happened,
just tell me now so I can deal with this. Because one way or  the  other I have
to find out how they found out Roy."
I kept my temper in check  and my voice down, I didn't want a battle to
start over this.

 "No, I didn't say anything Michael, you asked me not to." He said it
again but the nagging feeling wasn't going away.

 "Okay Roy, I believe you. I'll talk to Gary because he must have been  the
one that said something to someone, either he told her himself, or he said
something to his mother or father. And if he did, then I'm sure Aunt
Marilyn or  Uncle Mickey picked up the phone the minute Gary left the room and
called Mom.  What else could I think at that moment that was the only other
conclusion to  this problem. But I still had this nagging feeling. I only had
to wait a little  longer until Gary got home before I could confront him
about this. I so hate the  waiting game in situations like this.

 I decided that I would just let it go and go to my room. It was  probably
the safest place for me to go. I had to be alone and keep my temper in
check, I didn't want to turn this into something ugly. I was hurt that my cousin
 had said anything, I was sure that he wasn't going to say anything. I gave
him  the benefit of the doubt and thought maybe just maybe he said
something by  mistake and his mother or father caught it and cornered him and got it
out of  him. Or maybe he accidentally said something in front of his sister
and she was  the one that told my Aunt and Uncle. One way or the other he
told someone. It  was after midnight before he came through the door. By that
time a hundred  things had run through my head over this whole situation.
Steve had spent the  entire evening talking to me and getting me to stay calm
and to not let me get  myself to worked up. I gave him enough time to walk
in, get a drink and I  cornered him.

 "Gary, I have to know something and please be honest with me, this is
really important. Did you or did you not say anything to your mom, Eileen or
your sister about me being gay? I kept trying not to sound mad, but it was
only  half working. Gary started backing up from in and backed himself into
the living  room before he actually stopped. And before I gave him the chance
to answer me I  half yelled at him.

 "I just want you to know that I already asked Roy and he told me that  he
didn't say anything, so don't come off telling me that you didn't say it to
one of them. One of them knows and they told my mother and father and now
I've  been told not to go to my own house, I'm not to even think about going
to talk  to my mother and father they've made it perfectly clear that I am
not welcome in  my own home." Now I was getting pissed, all I was waiting for
was his admission  of guilt.

 "Michael, I have not said anything to anyone, I swear. You asked me  not
to and I didn't. I don't know why your brother is lying to you, but I am
not, I have not said a word. And I'll tell you why I didn't say anything.
Because I don't want to be the one that gets a bunch of shit started and end up
having you hate me. I will admit that I don't agree with what's going on
between  you and Steve. But that's none of my business, what you two wish to
do behind  closed doors is your business. Neither one of you has forced your
lifestyle on  me and you haven't asked me to say or do anything about the
situation that has  made me feel uncomfortable. So I suggest that we go talk
to Roy because I'm not  taking the heat for this one, I didn't do it."

 Gary wasn't angry or mad but by his tone of voice I really believed  what
he had said. And when I had finished talking to Roy I still had that
nagging feeling that he wasn't being totally honest with me. And for the second
time that day I felt like my world had been pulled out from under me. I had
trusted him, against my better judgment I had told him in a total moment of
weakness I had been honest with him and now I was paying the price. Steve
was  right behind me, and grabbed me by the arm.

 "Michael, listen to me for one minute, please." There it was again,  the
voice of reason coming out. I really didn't want to hear it, I wanted to
beat that shit out of my brother. I had been right the first time, he can't be
trusted.

 "Don't Steve, don't try to reason with me this time, he fucking  conned me
into letting my guard down with him and I shouldn't have. He did this  on
purpose, he went fishing the night we talked and he caught me, hook line and
sinker, he fucking reeled me in. I'm fucking pissed and as much as I'm not
a  physical person, I'm going to beat the shit out of him." I was fuming, my
face  was getting hotter, my ears were burning and turning redder every
second that  went by. I wanted blood. Steve still had a hold on me and wasn't
letting  go.

"Michael, stop, right now, stop. This is not the way to  deal with this.
Getting into a fight with him is not going to solve the  problem."

 "And what I should go in there to him and shake his hand and say  thank
you for fucking everything up, for lying to me? Maybe I should ask him did  he
have fun conning me like he did. Maybe he got a few kicks out of it. Don't
I  deserve to get my kicks out of it to?' I was yelling now, there was no
way   that Roy didn't hear what was going on. His bedroom came open and out he
walked.  Like nothing was wrong.

 "Are you fucking happy Roy? Did you get your kicks out of it? How  long
did you wait before you went and told Mom?  Hour? Two hours? No,  knowing you,
you waited just long enough for me to walk away and out of ear shot  and
you were on the phone letting her know what I had been stupid enough to tell
you.  I should have known better, I know how you are you don't change and
your never going to change, once a fucking jerk always a fucking jerk!" I was
 furious, Steve and Gary were holding onto me tight. I wanted more than
anything  to get my hands on him. And he just stood there not saying anything
for a  minute.

 "No, I didn't go running off to tell Mom or Day the minute you turned
your back. I told Cindy the next day, she did the rest of the work." He was
being so smug while he said it. I couldn't see anything, my world turned
bright  red, my rage overtook me. I pushed Steve and Gary to the side and lunged
at him.  At the time this happened I was six foot and weighed in at about
two hundred  forty my brother was about five ten and weighed about one hundred
sixty. He may  have been smaller than me but all my life my brother was
able to out fight me,  mostly due to the fact I was a pacifist and hated
fighting. Not this time. He  never had time to move when I had pushed Steve and
Gary aside. When I made  contact with him I grabbed him by his throat. I
started  to chock him and  shake his body back and forth. I wanted blood, this
had been the final straw.  Steve was the one that got my hands away from his
neck, but it didn't last  long.. I pushed him back and started swinging, Roy
was backing up trying to  avoid any contact with me. And Steve was yelling
at me to stop. I couldn't I  wanted him on the floor and the first punch that
connected to his face did just  that. He went down and was out cold.  I was
shaking so hard and the tears  started to flow, I backed away from his body
that was just laying there  motionless and turned looked at Gary then at
Steve and I just walked out of the  room up the stairs and closed the door. I
was physically and emotionally spent.  All I could think was what had I done?

 I sat there on my bed and played the scene over and over in my head.  I
heard them downstairs, at first there wasn't to much noise but before to long
the yelling and screaming started. I didn't pay attention to it, I just
shut it  out. I just sat there wondering how I had been so stupid, how had I
let my  brother con me into telling him. And then he made me believe that he
wouldn't  say anything. And of course when he told my sister I'm sure he
neglected to tell  her not to say anything. So the first thing she is going to
do is to call my  mother to let her know what was going on in the family.
That's the way it  went in our family, tell one and before to long the rest of
the family would  know. Of course that also depended on what it was that
was being related. And  the minute Roy told Cindy I was gay, he hung up, she
hung up and then she picked  up the phone and dialed my mother. All within a
few minutes. You know what they  say news travels fast, especially within
the family, there, the news travels  even faster. As I sat there I cried, I
got mad, I cried some more and I just  hated everything at that moment. but I
hated my brother even more. This was  going to be that straw that broke the
camels back. He had gone to far this time,  He had surpassed any thing he
had ever done to me that was even remotely cruel.  It actually felt good
knowing that I had hit him that hard, I kept wishing that  it hadn't been on the
first punch that connected. I wish I had been able to hit  him over and over
again. I was actually angry that it had ended so quickly.  Perhaps it was
for the best, maybe I would have killed him if I had been able to  continue
assaulting him. I finally stopped crying and began to get a hold of  myself
and once I did that I just laid down on the bed and closed my eyes. I  wanted
the world to go away.  I'm not sure how much elapsed before Steve  slowly
opened the door and came in. He didn't say anything he just came over and
sat down beside me. He rubbed my forehead for a few seconds, slowly and
softly.

 "You okay now?"

 "I'm not sure yet to be honest with you. Half of me still wants to go
back downstairs and continue where I left off. The other half just hates him
right now Steve."

 "You have every right to Mike. I can't believe that he did what he  did.
And even more so I can't believe the way he came out of the bedroom and  said
what he did." He was going to reason with me, I could tell in the tone of
his voice. It was the last thing I wanted to hear.

 "Don't Steve, don't try to reason an explanation out of this. He  fucking
did what he did on purpose, he did it to get at me. He did it because  he's
an asshole and that's how he treats people. To him its just a game. I don't
want anything to do with him. As far as I'm concerned he's dead. I no
longer  want anything to do with him. I want him out of the house, I'll pay his
part of  the rent, but I want him out and I want him out within a few days. I
will change  the locks on Thursday, I suggest that you and Gary let him
know. Anything still  here at that point I will throw into the fire place and
burn. I don't give a  shit what it is that he leaves.

 "Michael, come on, I'm just asking you to let it alone at the moment.
Like it or not your brothers and your going to have to face each other sooner
or  later. You can't just cut him out of your life like this. I understand
why you  feel this way and I don't blame you but for now just ignore him and
don't talk  to him. He's already left the house. Gary and I packed up two
suitcases and he  left, he didn't say where he was going but I just want you to
know that he's not  in the house." He was just being honest now, he wasn't
trying to reason with me  and he wasn't trying to play it down. He was just
telling me like it was.

 "I'm sorry if I hurt you in anyway when I pushed you, I didn't mean  to. I
was just so angry that I couldn't even think straight Steve. I just wanted
to smash his face in. I wanted to hurt him bad."

 "You did."

 "What do you mean." I really hadn't stopped and considered what I did  to
him. I just figured that no one was calling for a cop or ambulance he
couldn't be that bad off.

 "You may have only hit him once but I'm pretty sure you broke his  nose
and I would be surprised if you didn't break his cheek bone. His right eye
will definitely be swollen shut by tomorrow. He's gone to the hospital to get
checked out. He's going to call later and let me know what the outcome  was.

 "After all this you still are talking to him?" I said it more out of
anger than anything. And I was short with Steve because he was still talking to
my brother.

 "No Babe, I'm not really talking to him, he's calling later more to  see
what you have to say about the whole thing, he certainly knows that he
fucked things up between you and him. He's really calling later to see where he
stands after I have had a chance to talk to you. Don't worry I'll tell him
exactly what you said. I don't want him here either.  Gary was the one that
told him to pack up a few suitcases and head out tonight. Gary was really
pissed  off at him. I thought at one point that Gary was also going to let
him have it.  But he stayed in control and didn't do anything."

 "Is he okay now? I didn't hurt him when I pushed him aside did I?" I  was
concerned because my cousin had lost the use of his left arm in a motorcycle
 accident when he was nineteen. The last thing I wanted was to hurt him.

 "No, he's fine and he told me to tell you not to worry about him, he  was
glad to see you put your brother down to the ground on one punch."

 "That wasn't my intention, I really wanted to do more than that." I
wasn't joking but by this time my temper had waned some more and it came out
half jokingly.

 "Yea, really Slugger, for someone who's a pacifist that sure was some
punch you threw at him.  Next time I get into a fight with anyone, I want  you
on my side. I mean damn Michael, you laid him out cold, In one frickin
throw." Now he was teasing me.

 "Hey Sad Sack, lets say you and me go to bed? After the day I've had
today I'm tired and my brain is fried, I just want to lay down and get some
sleep. Besides the clock is going to ring loudly and early tomorrow morning. I
need the rest so I don't look like shit tomorrow. After crying as much as I
have  today my eyes look like crap." I was tired and I did want sleep.

 "How bout we smoke a bone before we hit it?" It sounded like such a  good
idea when he suggested it I thought oh what the hell. Steve walked over to
the door and looked at me for a minute.

 "You sure your okay Babe? You'll be okay till I get back?" This was  my
Steve, the one who cared way to much some times.

 "Go..Go get some weed and bring it back here, ask Gary if he wants to
join us." I leaned over grabbed the pillow and threw it at him.

 "I don't think Gary is going to join us in bed!" He started laughing  as
he reached for the doorknob to open the door. To his surprise Gary was
standing on the other side.

 "You two are sick there is no way I'm joining you in bed, and I'm not
smoking any bone except that one that rolls up with weed in it!" He was joking
with us and I was glad. I really did feel bad for pushing him aside.

 "You okay cuz? I didn't mean to push you like that, it's just that  Roy
made me so mad I couldn't think straight."

 "No problem and don't worry about it, I would have done the same  thing
you did. And he deserved what he got, man did you land a punch. I didn't  know
you had that in you. Your always the peace maker amongst us. But it was a
nice surprise to see you like that. No one is ever going to believe that you
 laid your brother out cold."

 "Still, I'm sorry. I feel like I owe you at least that. I jumped to
conclusions and didn't give you the benefit of the doubt when Roy first told me
he didn't say anything. And what hurts is that when I was done talking to
him  about it, I still had this nagging feeling that he wasn't being honest
with me.  I should have trusted my first instincts about him." It never takes
long for me  to feel the effects of a joint and this time was no different.
I definitely was  calming down and the longer we sat there and shot the shit
the more I just  wanted to close my eyes.

 "Okay Gary it's time to kick you out of our bedroom I'm getting tired
especially after that outburst with Roy it took the wind out of my sails to say
 the least." I wasn't lying the rage I let go of on my brother drained me.
I was  grateful that Gary and I were okay and that at least our friendship
was still  intact.

 "Okay you two, I'm out of here I'm going to see Eileen. Mike, I'm  going
to tell Eileen what happened tonight if you don't mind. I want her to hear
it from me before it spreads throughout the family. She'll be mad that I
didn't  tell her. I'll be honest Mike I was going to tell her soon, but I was
also going  to tell her that it was to stay between her and I until you said
differently." I  had a lot of respect for Gary for telling me that he was
going to tell Eileen, I  knew sooner or later he would have told her Gary
didn't like keeping secrets  from her.

 "No problem and yes please tell her I'd rather it coming from you  than
hearing it from someone in the family while they're bashing us at the same
time. And even though I know I don't have to say this just please, please ask
her not to say anything for at least a week. That will give Steve and I
some  time to gather our thoughts and time to talk to his Mom and Dad. And
that's  going to have to happen within the next day or two. I don't want to take
the  chance of them hearing it from some stranger. I don't think his Mom
would be  happy if she got the news from someone other than Steve." I knew by
the way  Steve was fidgeting that he wanted to say something, so I kept my
mouth shut to  give him the opportunity to say his two cents.

 "Gary, I know that your mother isn't going to take this well. She  lives
by the bible everyday. And I don't find anything wrong with that I was
brought up going to Church every Sunday and into believing what the Bible says,
however, this is one area of the bible that I don't agree with. I will
continue  to go to church, but I know your mother to well to think that she's
just going  to stand back and not say anything about this because I know she
won't be taking  our view point about being gay." That was the first time I
had heard Steve say  anything about the church and him being gay. It was a
subject we hadn't  discussed up to that point. At least now I know.

 "Michael here doesn't say to much about going to church but I do know
that he was raised the same way I was, and church was a big part of our lives
growing up. Little does he realize  that in the very near future WE WILL be
going to church ourselves." I was a little surprised to say the least. He
was  right in the fact that we hadn't talked about it, but I hadn't gone to
church in  a long time. It wasn't that I didn't believe I just felt
differently as I got  older about what the church had to say about homosexuality. The
church I had  gone to,  didn't say one way or the other whether they
opposed it or not.  Which in my eyes meant they didn't want to take a stand about
it. Their non  action told me they didn't approve but they just didn't want
to come out  publicly to say where they did stand. Guess I was going to
church in the near  future.

 "Will this be every Sunday Steve or can I sleep in most of the time,  well
maybe not most of the time, but maybe every other week?" I was quickly
watching my Sunday sleep in day coming to an end.

 "Maybe, if your really good, I'll let you sleep in some of those  mornings
but you and I both need to attend church. I'll tell you later when we
aren't high. It's going to be important to my Mom and Dad to see that I'm still
going to church once we tell them about our relationship." He wasn't
telling me  that I had to go, Steve wouldn't do that to me, he always let me make
my own  decisions up about sensitive subjects like this one. Why oh why God
did you give  me somebody that had more patience than me?

 "So I'll be good fifty percent of the time and then I can go every  other
week just like I said in the first place." I was joking of course, if he
did ask me to go every week I would go out of respect for Steve and due to the
 fact that I had been thinking about going back for some time. I had been
asking  for an answer from the man up stairs whether I should go back or not
since he  knew how I felt about the church. This had been my answer.

 Gary took off which left us alone for the night, if he was going to  see
Eileen at this hour I knew he wouldn't come back until he had to go to work
the next day. Steve was the one that broke the ice once the front door
banged  shut.

 "You want to talk now or later? I know you have a lot on your mind so  I'm
not sure how much talking you want to do Mike. But you have to let me know
and don't say I'm not sure or worse yet lets talk later line the both of
them  drive me up the wall. And no, I'm not yelling at you.  I'm just saying
that  maybe we should have a little talk before we go to bed. You know me, I
don't  like going to bed at night when your upset, you don't sleep number
one and  number two always make sure you talk things out before you go to bed
at night,  my mother always told me that at when I was a kid growing up."
Steve wasn't  forcing the issue, he was just being himself and lately he had
been on my butt  about getting things out in the open, dealing with whatever
the problem was and  then moving on. Most times I hated him telling me
things like this mostly  because I knew he was right. And I hated when he was
right, made me feel like he  was so much older and wiser than me. but he didn't
treat me like that, ever. He  always gave me nothing but respect in our
relationship.

 "You win Sad Sack, you win now lets straighten this out and then  we'll go
to sleep." There he goes again using that voice of reason. I could  never
say no to that tone of voice and he knew just how to use it on me.

 "The one thing that bothers me the most right now is my sister. She's
known for a little while now, I wonder why she hasn't called me.  And that
makes me wonder how she really feels about this. I guess I'll have to call her
soon and ask her what the deal is.  I think and I only think this, but
she's not going to just go along for the ride on this one. Since she converted
to being a Mormon I don't know where she stands, I know where the Mormon
church  stands."

 "Well until you actually talk to her and hear her out you won't know,
right?" It was a rhetorical question. I just sat there and didn't say a thing
he  already knew my answer. So glad he could read my thoughts so to speak,
sometimes  it saved me from opening my mouth and nothing coming out but tears.
And this is  one of those times that the tears would have flowed, seems
that's all I could do  this day. Time to end the day on a high note.

 "Lets finish that doobie and then crawl into bed, sound like a plan  to
you?" Joking,  already he was back into a joking thing. You gotta love  him,
you just gotta. Steve and I had taken over the master bedroom once everyone
in the house found out about us. So we had the luxury of having our own
bathroom. Hey, it only goes without saying, since we were out with the two that
 mattered what was the point of sleeping in separate rooms?  The first few
nights after they both new Gary had suggested that Steve and I take that
bedroom. He was spending most of his nights at Eileen's anyway. He got the
room  originally because he and Eileen were seeing each other seriously when
we moved  in and we had all agreed that they should have it. So while Steve
were talking  and finishing the doobie we started our nightly routine of
stripping down and  washing up and brushing our teeth. Hey, every one has their
rituals, we were  developing ours.

 We crawled in and pulled up the sheet and then the blanket. Steve put  his
pillow against the headboard and leaned against. He was almost in a sitting
 position, but not all the way. I scooted down in the bed and put my head
in his  lap and laid my arm across his legs. He kept running his fingers
through my hair  and every now and then he would run his hand palm down against
my forehead. I  was getting drowsy the more he kept it up. I don't remember
falling asleep. I  woke up about a few hours after my head still in his lap.
He must have been  dreaming, his penis was hot and hard. I started
thinking, should I or shouldn't  I. I finally came to the conclusion that if I woke
up first I would wake him up  properly. Nice and properly. I slept the rest
of the night without waking up  once.

 The alarm clock was screaming its none melodic tune, bright and early
right on schedule. I had actually been awake for a few minutes before the alarm
 went off. When I was in the Navy and in boot camp I had the pleasure of
being  stuck in a top bunk with a speaker almost directly above me. When
rivalry was  played at four thirty in the morning and that speaker was so close,
you  developed this sixth sense that allowed me to wake before that speakers
even  began blaring rivalry That old habit was developing again since I had
to get up  at that magic hour of four thirty again.  So the alarm wasn't a
complete  and total waste, Steve was consequently jumping off the bed in a
fog and  searching madly for the clock. He found the shoe that he left in the
middle of  the floor when he did his striptease the night before thinking
he would tease me  into sex.  I started laughing because he was swearing his
head off, at the  shoe no less.  I couldn't resist.

 "Find that shoe you were looking for?" By the time I finished the
sentence I was laughing and really was trying hard to sound at least  serious.

"Oh your funny, real funny!! Shithead! Your have no  sympathy for me I
swear."
He was trying hard to sound indignant but it wasn't  working worth a shit.

 "You know where you can find sympathy don't you. Right between shit  and
syphilis in the dictionary." I was laughing so hard I had to get myself out
of bed and make a beeline for the toilet because now I really had to pee.
But  Steve shut the alarm off, spun around and grabbed me as I was trying to
get  around him to get to the bathroom. He wasn't going to show mercy, he was
 tickling me. Oh god I had to pee so bad.

 "If you don't... stop....Steve I'm gonna pe..."

 "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't catch that, what was that you were saying?"  He
had me in a chock hold, he isn't, but he's sure in the hell making me want to
pee even more than before.

"Sad Sack stop it right...now....  don't do thi.....seriously.....I have to
pee.....going to piss on you ....... in  a min......." He kept it up but I
finally got free from him and rushed to the  bathroom I didn't try to aim or
anything of that nature I just aimed for the tub  figured I couldn't miss a
urinal that big. I didn't. All I heard was him in the  bathroom laughing
hysterically.  I wanted to get him good for this  one.

 "You will so pay for that one Sad Sack, so bad, your going to get  yours.
Maybe not right now, maybe not this afternoon maybe not even to today,  but
you'll pay. I will get even with you Big Boy!" I'll play if off for now and
pretend nothing happened.

 "I'm going to jump in the shower, shave and I'll be out in a few,  will
you go put the coffee on and make me a cup?"

 "Oh yes sssaaahib... your wish is my command." So he's in a sarcastic
mood this morning.

 "Yes slave whatever the master wishes." Oh I so going to get even for
this one.

 "Paybacks a bitch Big Boy, a real bitch." I absolutely loved this  morning
banter that was developing between us, it made my day start out on a  good
note, know matter what I knew was on the schedule. I turned on the water,
grabbed my razor and shaving cream and stepped into the shower. About ten
minutes later I was done and Steve was back with my coffee.

 "You want me to leave the water running?'

"Yea,  I'll be back in a second."

 I got out from the shower and was just about dry when he came back  in. He
dropped his sweat pants and stepped in. I loved watching him take a  shower
even more so when he wasn't watching me and I could just look him up and
down and all over. He was so lucky he had such a good body but he never acted
 like he knew it. I was jealous of his good looks. Well maybe not jealous
but  certainly envious. How had I gotten so lucky to get someone that
handsome/ I had  finished getting ready and was almost dressed by the time he got
out of the  shower. As usual he moved right along and as he finished dressing
I made a quick  pick up in the bathroom and made the bed.

 "You ready to go Steve?"

 "Yea lets book it out of here, we're running a few minutes  behind."

 The drive to work was a quiet one, neither one of us said anything.  This
wasn't unusual for us, most of the morning drives to work were in silence.
It was our way of getting mentally prepared for another day at the
restaurant.  I knew Roy was scheduled to have the day off so I wasn't  worried about
having to face him. But he would be at work on Tuesday. I wasn't  sure how
I was going to handle it. I thought about firing him, but he was still
reporting to the military as part of his probation discharge. I tried not to
think about it at work, I just kept myself busy and work flew by and before
long  we were on our way home.

 "I've got to call my sister when I get home Steve, I have to find out  how
Roy presented this situation to her. I need to know if he told her not to
say anything or not. I need to know if he told her and then told her to call
Mom  and tell her."  I wasn't sure how he had done it, but one way or the
other  he played her to do what he intended and that I was sure of. My
brother was very  good at manipulation. Two can play that game. I don't like
playing it but I know  how and I paid closer attention than he realized when it
came to how to get  people to do things and make them think it was their
idea. I had a feeling its  what he had done to my sister.

 The minute we walked through the door I picked up the phone and  dialed my
sister.

 "Hello Cindy, this is your brother." There was silence on the other  end
for a few seconds before she said anything.

 "Hello Michael, what's up?"

 "That's what I'd like to ask you Cindy, just what is up with you. And
don't play dumb it won't work I already know that you told Mom I was gay. But
what I want to know is how you found out, well not how, I know that. But I
want  to know why you did it. What made you do it, why did you call Mom and
Dad and  tell them before talking to me first to see how I felt about the
situation.  There's more here at stake than just me. I have to be considerate
about Steve's  feelings and his family too. This isn't just about me." I was
keeping myself in  check, I wasn't going to lose my temper like i did the
last time. There was no  point in behaving like that. I knew it wouldn't
accomplish anything with my  sister.

 "I don't know what you mean by that statement. Roy called me the  other
day and told me that you and him had a conversation and during that
conversation you decided to tell Roy that you were gay. And before I say  anything
else I don't know how I feel about this. Your my brother and family is
supposed to come first above all else, but this is different, this is a whole  new
ballgame and your really testing the waters with this one."

 "I'm not testing the waters here at all as you put it. I am what I am  and
I've hidden it all my life just because of the things like what's going on
right now. It took everything I had in me to tell Roy it wasn't easy. I
wanted  to tell the people I love the most first, one at a time. I told Roy and
had  asked him, no I told him not to say anything to anyone. I needed to
get to each  of you one by one so that I could explain things.  Now I can't do
that  because Roy has fucked me royally. So now tell me what he said when
he called  you." I was counting slowly inside my head trying to stay calm.

 "When he called he told me that you and he had talked and that he was
telling this because you claimed you couldn't face me directly. And during that
 conversation he implied that maybe it would be best if Mom and Day found
out  from me instead of you going to them and trying to do it yourself. He
thought  that you  would get to emotional telling them. So he did suggest kind
of  for me to tell them. I thought I was doing the right thing Michael. I
told him  that I would talk to you first and ask me how you wanted me to tell
them, but he  insisted that right now you were really upset over the whole
situation with  Steve and that you wanted some time just between you and
Steve to get things  back on an even keel before you started trying to tell
anyone else."  I  could tell by the tone of her voice that she wasn't lying. He
had done this on  purpose.

 "Have you talked to Roy since last night Cindy:'' As mad as I was, I
wasn't going to let this end up with me screaming and yelling at her. It
wouldn't do anything or prove anything. It was his fault the entire thing was  his
fault.

 "No, I haven't talked to him since that night when he told me about  you."

 "I sent him to the hospital last night Cindy. I'm pretty sure I broke  his
nose and possibly his right cheek bone. He had the day off today so I
haven't seen him, or heard from him and neither has Steve. He was supposed to
call after he visited the emergency room last night to let either Gary or Roy
as  to what was going on. The two of them helped him pack two suitcases and
he left.  I'm changing the locks on the front and back door. I would put a
restraining  order against him but I don't know that I can because of him
working with me.  And I don't know what would happen to him if I fire him, I
don't know how the  military would react to him not having a job. One of his
stipulations regarding  his getting out of Leavenworth Prison was that he
have a job and a place to live  and to have a sponsor to help him make sure he
did those things.  As of  Thursday the door locks will be changed like I
said and he's not getting a new  key. Steve is going to tell him that whatever
is left once I change the lock  anything left in the house I will burn in
the fireplace."

 "Michael I'm not sure why Roy did what he did and I'll be the first  to
admit that what he did really is unforgivable, but don't go overboard. I'm
sure he knows that he doesn't have a place to live by now and he's probably
out  looking to see what he can find. I don't know what to suggest about the
job.  Maybe you should call his probation officer and ask him what would
happen to  him. And don't be afraid to tell him what's going on. He needs to
know the whole  picture before he can make any type of decision. He has to know
all the facts  Michael, and I do mean all the facts. That includes you
being gay. I'll be the  first to admit to you that I thought for a long time
that you were gay, but I  was never sure, I just felt like you were and I can't
explain how I knew  that."

 "Will you still talk to me, just like we always have or will you be  like
Roy and stab me in the back the minute I turn it?" I didn't want to sound
short or to snap at her because I knew she hadn't done it intentionally. Roy
had  tricked her into doing it. I would deal with him later, I wasn't sure
how yet,  but I was going to deal with him.

 "Michael your my brother and believe it or not, I have several gay
friends and just like you some of them don't want other people to know. All they
ask of me is that I don't tell other people they're gay, I just direct those
 people to my fiends and they deal with it themselves. I'll do the same for
you  it doesn't matter to me, I still love you. I know that Mom and Dad
freaked out  on you, but I'll help you with them, I promise. It's the least I
can do since  I'm the one that told them, sound okay to you?" This was the
sister I knew, the  one that loved me. I was glad I had one of my siblings on
my side, because it  will make getting back into my house and to my parents
a little bit easier. At  least she had handled most of the hysteria from my
mother.  Perhaps in a  few weeks she will have had enough time to settle
down and to think about it and  in the long run would be okay with it. For now,
I could only hope that's how it  would play out. But this is real life,
real life rarely plays out the way you  want it to. Well I'll say that the end
result might be what you want, but  getting there doesn't always go the way
you hope and think it will. But for now  as long as in the end my parents
are talking to me and more importantly  excepting me, then it will all be
worth it.

 "Okay Cindy I believe you and I love you to, even if you are the  short
ugly one in the family, kinda like the runt of the litter!" I just had to
tease her to lighten the mood between us, I didn't like it like this. I
preferred my relationship with my sister to stay on the light side. All our  lives
we grew up teasing each other. I would call her the short ugly one because
she was five two compared to my six feet. And in return she would call me
the  tall dumb one. It's a joke that still goes on to this day. I hung up
feeling  better about everything on my side of the family.

 I knew that my mother and father would not be running out the door or
picking up the phone to tell everyone what was going on. And I'm not sure why,
it's not like I was the first gay person in the family. But then again
seeing  how they were treated when I was growing up was another reason I didn't
want to  just say, hey guys, I'm your youngest son and I'm gay. There was a
cousin on my  fathers side, not much older than my father. She had lived on
her parents farm  most her life and when she got older her partner moved in
with her and they have  been together ever since. However as much as
everyone knows about it, no one  says a word about. It's like a family secret that
they don't want anyone to  know. And they figure that if no one talks about
it out loud, then there's  nothing really going on. It's like the militaries
policy of don't ask, don't  tell. The whole family knew but no one was
allowed to speak about it out loud.  That was a conversation that was allowed
for after all the children had gone to  bed. And even then it wasn't talked
about openly and freely. Whatever happened  just don't say that "G" word out
loud. God Forbid.

Then I had  another cousin on my mothers side and Joni was a few years
older than me. She  came out at a young age and pretty much didn't care what the
rest of the family  thought, it was more a fuck you attitude, if you didn't
like it you could shove  it up your ass and rotate on it. As much as I
admired her ability to stand up  for herself, I didn't want to be around my
family with that kind of attitude. I  just wanted to be accepted for who and
what I was, without fear of saying  anything out loud, without fear of being
told to shut my mouth and just don't  say anything. As if not talking about it
makes it so it's not really happening.  There has to be a happy middle
ground for both sides. I'm not going to sit there  and suck face or hang all
over my partner and rub peoples noses in it. But just  like married people do,
an occasional kiss or holding hands, or just putting  your arms around one
another isn't a big deal, I'm not asking for the  impossible. Is it really
that much to ask of your family?

 The whole time I had been talking to my sister Steve had busy in the
background, making coffee for us and slowly putting some kind of supper together
 for us. I was usually the one that made supper but since I was on the
phone for  a little while he had jumped in and started the process himself. I
was grateful  the last thing I wanted to do was make supper for him and I.

 "Well what did your sister have to say about the whole thing, I take  it
by what side of the conversation that I heard that your brother more or less
tricked her into telling your parents." He was being direct, hell when
wasn't  he? Just exactly what I loved about him, I still wish I could be more
like him.  Guess I'll have just keep working on and settle what I have in my
life. I was  forever trying to be more like Steve. I respected him because of
those qualities  that he possessed. Those qualities were the ones that I
felt I was lacking. I'm  honest with myself and tried to be more like him to
be more of an assertive and  self  confident man. I knew from the very
beginning that he was an alpha  male I had accepted that, hell I even liked it
that way. Who was I trying to  kid?

 "He made her believe that I wanted her to tell my parents to help  soften
the blow when they found out. He told her not to call me to see how she
wanted me to handle the whole thing. The kicker is that he told her not to call
 me because I was to upset over what you and I had been going through at
the time  and that I just wanted to be left alone and that I would deal with
what ever  happened after she told them. He's got the biggest set of balls
Steve. I want to  fucking kill him so bad right now. I don't believe that
anyone of my friends are  going to treat as badly as he has, and he's my brother
for Christ's sake. I mean  I realized he might not like the idea, but to
kick me in the stomach after he  acted so nice to you and I. It's just hard to
swallow, I really hope that it's a  long time before I actually have to
talk to him again. Anytime in the near  future would be hazardous to my health
and well being because I could end up in  jail with the things I'm thinking
of doing to him right now."

 "Alright, I can understand why you feel that way, he's not even my
brother but I want to screw him over just as much as you do, but would it really
solve anything if we did beat the shit out of him? What would we
accomplish?"  Here comes the voice of reason I can hear it now. I just sat there
thinking  about what he asked me, of course he was right, nothing would be
accomplished in  beating him up except he might have some more broken bones.

 "Fine your right it won't do anything or prove anything, But I won't
forget about him either, payback is a bitch and I can guarantee there will be a
payback for him. The time will present itself for you to get back at him.
You  know what they say, every dog has its day, someday you'll have yours to
Michael.  I mean that. Even if I have to be the one to help make it happen."
 I just  sat there listening to him ramble on and loved every second  of
it. I was  getting hungrier by the minute sitting there and just talking.

 "What's for supper, what junk did you pull out from that sad excuse  of a
fridge? Anything good? It smells good I can tell you that much. Maybe you
better not tell me, if I know what it is you know me, if I even think I don't
 like it I won't eat it. So don't tell me." Whatever it was it looked like
a  stew, I could tell there was chunks of meat and some potatoes, there were
chunks  of tomatoes, and an assortment of vegetables and rice. I wondered
if the sink  was in there.

 "I won't tell you what's in it, I'll just tell you that just about  all
the leftovers aren't leftover any more. You'll be washing a lot of plastic
containers after supper. I just opened whatever there was and dumped it into
the  soup pot. How's it taste:" I was now half afraid to try it I knew what
some of  the leftovers were and I knew I didn't like some of them. Oh well, I
didn't have  to cook, so I will be doing the cleanup. Now it was time to
just take the plunge  and try this garbage soup. It was fantastic! All those
flavors put together  tasted wonderful. Don't ask me why, but it was good.
Garbage soup became a menu  regular in our household, it used the leftovers
and saved money, we had that  soup about every two weeks after that.

 We were lucky we had the rest of the night to ourselves Gary was  going to
Eileen's right after work and would be spending the night and we  weren't
worried about Roy showing up any time to soon. Although I had to think  about
what I was going to do about the work situation. He needed the job that
much I knew as far as his living arrangements I thought it was best if he was
on  his own from now on. There is no way that Steve and I could live with
him after  what he had done. The more we sat there and discussed it the closer
I came to  the realization of what I was going to do about his job. He
wasn't going to have  one. I wasn't going to deal with him I figured I shouldn't
have to deal with him  at work either. Whatever his probation officer
decided to do with him wasn't my  problem any more. The question was how I was
going to reach him to tell him the  news of his unemployment. I wasn't sure
where he was and who he was staying  with. I had to call my sister back and
see if she knew where he was. I headed  for the phone in the living room, sat
on the couch and dialed her number.

 "Hello."

 "Cindy, it's your brother the tall, good looking one. The tall dumb  one
has left the building!" I could hear her chuckling as I continued. "Do you
know where Roy is staying? I need to find him, like it or not I have to talk
to  him for a few minutes there's some thing I have to tell him tonight."

 "Why, what is it that you have to tell him that's so important? Can't
this wait a few days? After what has happened I don't think it's a good idea
that you two talk, give yourself some time Michael, your still to mad at him
to  have any kind of logical conversation." I was a little surprised that
she was  not telling me what I needed to know.

 "I just need to talk to him, do you know where he is or don't  you?"

 "Well yea I know where he is but before I tell you do you know what  you
did to him when you beat him up last night? Just how many times did you hit
him?" Now she was getting indignant with me and I couldn't understand why.

 "Cindy, I need to talk to him, it's about work and I don't really  want to
talk to him at all, believe me he's the last person on earth that I want
to talk now right now. Will you tell me or not? I have to get in touch with
him,  I'm not trying to start anything or to scream or yell, It will take me
about  thirty seconds to say what I have to say and then I'll hang up on
him, I'm not  giving him the chance to say anything after I tell him what I
need to." There  was silence on the other end of the phone and it suddenly
dawned on me why she  was being like this, he was sitting there with her right
now.

 "Okay so tell me what I did last night when I beat him up, but I  didn't
beat him up Cindy I hit him one time, you can ask Steve or Gary they were
both there and saw the whole thing." Now I was getting pissed because she was
trying to figure a way for him not to have to get on the phone with me. I
couldn't believe she was trying to protect him.

 "First of all you did break his nose second you did break his cheek  bone
and you also gave him a facial concussion, to be honest with you Michael,
he looks like shit he looks more like he's been in an accident. I find it
hard  to believe that you only hit him once. Your not a fighter to start so
that's why  I find it hard to believe that this damage on his face was from one
hit, you  sure no one else hit him?"

 "I can't believe your saying this to me, he got what he deserved, it  was
from me and me only no one else hit him, they helped him get packed and out
of the house before I came downstairs or something. But since you won't let
me  talk to him then I'll tell you. He's fired, tell him not to bother
coming in  tomorrow I'm done with him. I gave him a helping hand to get out of
Leavenworth,  I gave him a job so that the military would release him, I made
sure he had a  place to live and for the first couple of months he used my
car like it was his.  He gave me nothing in return, he didn't even put gas
in the car when he used it.  And every time he did use it he would just throw
his trash in the back seat,  like it was some kind of trash barrel. Did he
happen to mention any of those  things to you Cindy? I'm sure he didn't, he
doesn't want you to know what  happened, and he asked me not to tell anyone
in the family and I didn't. And  what does that mother fucker do to me when
I ask him not to repeat something  because I didn't want the family to find
out. He ran to you told you part of the  story and then lied to you so that
you would call Mom and Dad and tell them. So  now I'm on the outs with Mom
and Dad and does he fucking care? Hell no, not Roy,  not Mr. Fuck Everyone
else oh no. So now you know about his stint in Leavenworth  why don't you ask
him if it's okay to tell Dad that one. He'll have a fit Dad  will be
absolutely pissed at Mr. Wonderful son. And he won't be talking to him  either.
Perhaps tomorrow I'll write a letter since I can't talk to our parents  at this
moment thanks to Mr. Wonderful." I was fuming I was so pissed at him  again
if he had been standing in front of me I would have hit him again, and I
would have aimed directly at his nose and face the best that I could. In less
 than twenty four hours he had me fuming again.

 Steve had come back into the living to hear about half way through  the
conversation. He came over to sit by me and put his arm around me and just
held me by the waist until I was finished saying what I had to say. I listened
 again to silence on the other end of the phone. But I was done saying what
I had  to say it was her move to say anything now.

 "I don't know what to say I didn't know about that last piece of
information Michael I now fully understand why your so pissed. I'm going to let  him
sleep here tonight with us. I think that he and I have some talking to do
when we're done here. I am not taking your side or his since your both
related  to me. I can't take any sides, but rest assure little brother I'll get
my point  across to Roy before we go to bed tonight about how I feel with
what he's done  to you. I'm sorry, you don't deserve this, your always the one
that puts out a  helping hand, you always have for me so I'm sure you did
nothing less for him. I  should have known there was more to the story than I
was being told. Forgive  me?"

"I don't have to forgive you for anything Cindy you've  done nothing wrong,
as usual it's him that's screwed things up and now he's  going to pay the
price of going one step to far." I had gotten a few deep  breaths in and
wasn't feeling as hot as I had been. I said my goodnight to her  and hung up the
phone, physically I was totally drained again there was no way I  could
keep up this emotional upheaval another day. Two in a row was enough.  Steve
leaned back on the sofa and pulled me with him. He cradled me so that I  was
laying partly against his chest and the rest I was in his left arm. I laid
my head down on his shoulder and closed my eyes. Nothing was being said we
just  sat there for about ten minutes or so. Steve broke the silence.

 "You okay now?" Always the one to make sure every thing was  alright.

 "Not sure yet pal, not sure. I don't know why he does these things,  why
does he hurt people like he does and then he acts like it's nothing. I mean
I can see him sitting there at my sister's, that's where he is by the way, I
can  see him sitting there talking to her and making me sound like I
savagely beat  him because of the way he looks right now. My sister insinuated
that I must have  hit him more than once or that you and Gary had something to
do with to." I was  starting to talk a little fast relaying the phone
conversation over again.

 "Don't get yourself going again, come on don't do this to yourself
Michael. You want to smoke one to calm down?" I didn't really feel like smoking  a
bone but thought maybe he was right and that it wasn't a bad idea.

 "Yea, let's light one up. You get every thing and I'll just sit here,  do
you mind or do you want me to get everything. I know you cleaned the kitchen
 while I was on the phone with her and it was my turn to wash up and clean
up."

 "It's alright you just sit here I'll be back in a second in the  meantime
put the television on and find something for us to watch. And you can  get
us something to drink and not with alcohol I just want something to keep my
mouth wet while we smoke one."

 "You got it Sad Sack!" I was forcing myself to loosen up I didn't  want to
screw up his evening, the night before had been enough.

 "Lock the front door on your way back down Steve, no one's coming  over
unless your expecting someone." I had to yell to make sure he heard me by  now
he was already up the steps and in the other corner of the house.

 "You got it." He screamed it. Made me feel like I had to check my  hearing
to make sure he didn't make me go deaf with that scream of his.

 We spent the night relaxing on the couch and watching television by  the
end of the night I had completely relaxed, the bone we smoked had done it's
job and I was ready to hit the bed and just sleep the night away. And what
made  it sweeter was the fact that Steve and I weren't opening in the morning
Gary  was. So we were both looking to sleeping in and having a nice quiet
morning just  the two of us.

 It was the doorbell that woke me up whoever it was kept ringing it. I
stumbled out of bed grabbed my pants and was putting them when I heard Steve
start to move.

 "Who the hell is that at this hour?" Steve was still half asleep when  he
asked that.

 "I have no clue, but this better be good, I really wanted to sleep in
this morning and enjoy a morning with just you and I and it's only quarter
after  seven." I was wondering who the hell would be ringing my door at this
hour and  so insistently. Their constant ringing on that bell was starting to
piss me off.  By now I was part way down the stairs.

 "HOLD ON, I"M COMING." I was yelling because I wanted they to  stop.

 "YEA, HOLD ON." I was finally at the door and turned the doorknob to  open
it.  My heart stopped the one person I wasn't expecting was standing
before me and I was totally surprised to see her standing there. It was my
mother. What the hell was she doing here. By the look on her face I'm not sure
at that moment I wanted to know.

 "Mom, you made it pretty clear you wanted nothing to do with me the  last
time we spoke. Oh no, wait, you spoke I wasn't given the chance to say
anything, I seem to remember someone screaming name calling and then just
hanging up." She just stood there and looked at me for a minute, I don't know
where that came from, I had never in my life spoken to my mother like that,
then  I just closed the door.

 "Who was that Mike?" I only caught half of what you  said.

"Was it your brother?"

 "Oh no, that wasn't my brother, my mother is standing on the other  side
of the door." I hadn't moved yet and Steve came up to me and turned me to
face him.

 "Why don't we let her in?" That god damned voice of reasoning again.  Why
oh why did he have to use that now. The doorbell rang again.

 "Come on, let's just hear what she has to say, for whatever reason  she
has come here to see you, your mother has never come here uninvited. Come  on,
please, let's just let her in. If things get to out of line with her I
promise to personally show her out the door, okay?" I didn't want to, she has
said some pretty nasty and hurtful things on the phone and never once asked
me  anything about how I felt about it.

 "You let her in, I'm going to make some coffee, you want some."

 "Yes, and make some tea for you mother Michael, and don't ask me  anything
just do as I say, I'm not on her side about anything I just know your
mother likes tea and IF she ends up staying a little she'll want some, now go,
go on do as I say this time.:" I hate reasoning right now I really do, but
it  was what he did best sometimes. I turned off towards the kitchen and
Steve  opened he door to let her in.

 "Come in Mrs. Mathews, please come on in."